Chapter Text
It was early winter in the New Zealand countryside, snow falling on the green grass and covering up the pathways.
The school year was just coming to a close, sweater weather, holidays, candles, fireplaces, new years and hot chocolate were all back in fashion, it was simply, a good time to be alive.
A time that Sam Gamgee found himself sitting behind the desk of an old bookstore. He worked on his homework, exams were coming up after all, meaning the time of the year when Frodo couldn't come to work after school.
The way it always worked, for the past two years that is, they went to school for the day, then due to time complications, Sam had to go straight to work despite a few hours before his shift started.
His shift was the same as Frodo's, they usually worked the desk together and rode on Frodo's bike from school to here. Usually they'd read books together or one would read to the other.
Frodo was mostly the one to read out loud, and Sam didn't mind at all, in fact, reading made him nervous, especially around someone who knew so much more about literature than he.
But fortunately Sam felt he could listen to Frodo read out poetry all day, his voice was gentle and not too rushed, it was clear that he had been raised on these types of books.
Sometimes they'd share sweets from the bakery next door or would go around town with Merry and Pippin, after all, being with the two of them was an adventure on it's own.
But it was the end of the year, now Frodo sat in his room in his uncle's big house, writing an essay while Sam sat alone behind the desk, writing one too. While also covering for his coworker that had left a while ago.
Now, there was only ten minutes till their shift actually started and knowing Frodo, he'd be here just a second past time. Always, he was always like that.
So Sam figured he had enough and closed up his book. And listened to the song on the speakers overhead, 'Wouldn't It Be Nice', it sure would.
Sam looked towards the door every time someone came in, he did every time now, though he knew Frodo wouldn't be caught dead being early nor late. He couldn't help it, he was bored out of his head, he hummed along with the song, he knew he could wait just fine.
He heard the bell sound, turning he couldn't say he was surprised. Merry and Pippin had just come in, snow on their matching winter coats, Pippin wearing a salmon pink one and Merry in a dark green.
Sam smirked, knowing what they needed, but still liking the idea they were actually here for something new.
"Ello!" He said, waving happily as they came up to the desk. "Ello Dear Sammy" Merry said, and nodded towards Pippin who smirked and nodded too, bouncing off to go retrieve the books they needed.
"Sammy?" "Oh you know, Sam, everyday, we come in 'ere, asking for these books, and one day, we'll butter you up so much, you'll let us have 'em!" Sam smiled, amused.
"Yes, Merry, but a Gamgee never gives up his word, and this Gamgee, doesn't wish to be fired" Merry shook his head, "Ah you're too nice! Why don't you use that niceness and give us these books half off!"
Sam chuckled and ignored his words "Why are you wearin' matchin' coats?" Merry smirked "We're twins!" Sam furrowed his brow "Aren't you cousins?" "Well, yknow, we're close enough! One day we'll get Frodo in on it"
Sam chuckled but before he could speak, Pippin came with an evil smile on his face as he walked through the big store, the people around him staring at him as though he had done something to annoy them.
At this point, he probably hadn't done anything, they had just seen Merry and Pippin in every day and just knew the chaos that followed the two of them.
Pippin reached up, putting the books on the desk and Sam prepared himself to say no, something he had got quite good at saying.
Sam sort of wondered why they hadn't just stolen at this point, not like it was something they wouldn't do.
But thankfully the bell above the door rung and he turned over on instinct, ignoring Merry and Pippin rolling their eyes. Frodo had just come in, he wore a red-pink cable knit sweater with a button up under it, he looked cute, the pink matching his nose. This was something that made Sam turn a bit pink himself.
Under Frodo's arm he held a paper bag Sam recognized as one from the bakery.
Sam lit up and smiled "Hello" Frodo looked at the three of them, smiling for Sam and then rolling his eyes in amusement at Merry and Pippin.
"Hey" he said, walking towards them, he stood in between Merry and Pippin. "Oh, Frodo, perfect timing...dear, dear cousin, we were just checking out!" Merry said. "Yeah, but it looks like we've really only got enough for about half" Pippin added and Frodo smirked.
"Ahh, i've never heard this before" he said, as Sam admired just how little he seemed. Now, none of them were particularly tall, no, not even average, but Frodo was definitely the smallest, maybe five feet even. It was cute.
"Well duh, we need these for our exams coming up!" Pippin said while Frodo reached into the paper bag and pulled out two donuts. "We've had a month to study" "We were having fun then! Remember that haunted house!?" Frodo chuckled "Yeah, yeah, I still got my work done though" He said, smiled, and handed the donuts to the two of them before coming around to sit next to Sam.
"Well just cause you're smarter and like reading or something doesn't mean everyone else was doin' that!" Pippin said, Frodo laughed "Well maybe you should've" "He never said he was smarter than you" Sam and Frodo said at the same time, accidentally talking over each other but stopping as soon as they processed the other's voice.
"What did you say?" Frodo asked softly, turning to look Sam in the eyes "No, it's nothin', go ahead" Sam said. Merry sighed as Pippin out his hands on his hips "Oh just get a room already, we've got books to buy!"
They both were taken back but didn't say anything on it. "Pip, we're not giving you these half off" They both sighed "Fine, we're going to make copies of these, bye!" "Bye!" They both said and wandered off into the bookstore.
Frodo laughed while Sam gave a small chuckle. "One day they're going to be kicked out of here" Sam nodded "I'm sure"
"Oh! Look, I was running slow and thought I'd be late so I got some food to hopefully make up for it!" Sam looked over as Frodo reached into his paper bag. He pulled up a blueberry muffin and tore some off for himself and handed the rest to Sam.
"Oh uh thank you, you didn't have to" Sam said before taking a bite, it tasted a bit sweeter than his liking, but he was more than content.
"You don't have to say that, was the least I could do" Frodo said, leaning back in his chair, prepping his feet on the desk and opening his book.
"Got done studying to come here and read, Mr Frodo?" Frodo smiled and kept his book in his face but looked over with his bright blue eyes. "It's comforting" "What are you reading now?" "Princess Bride, it's quite nice" Sam smiled and looked towards the door.
"Yeah, my mum read that to me as a kid" Frodo smirked "Really? That's nice, Merry's mum read it to me when I was staying with them" Sam suddenly felt somewhat guilty, bringing up his own mum and the times she had, since Frodo hadn't really gotten to do things like that.
He shoved those thoughts aside though, he had briefly talked to Frodo about it before, when his own mum died and he found that he didn't want Sam to talk to him like so, to feel guilty.
Looking back over Sam noticed Frodo was already back into the world of his book so he decided to do something else and not bother him any longer.
They each had different tasks to do, but it mostly just came down to tending the flowers, fixing out of places books, cleaning up and well, helping out customers.
Sam stuck to what he was told while Frodo mostly did what he wanted, doing the work whenever he felt like, Sam truly wished he could be so carefree.
But he wasn't, and he did as they usually did during shifts. Once he finished his muffin, he mentioned to Frodo he was going to work and left. Starting by watering the plants and trimming the dead ones, he actually quite enjoyed it, it was calming for him and he was rather good at it.
And it worked out well too, he could do that, and Frodo put the books back in the right place, something he was better at than Sam, while Sam worked on something he was better at than Frodo, it all almost felt too natural and perfect. Almost, Sam was happy with how it was.
The flowers in the centre of tables, he cut the dead leaves and sprouts, watered them and gave them a dash of fertilizer. Buttercups and Camellias, Sam had come to know them so well, he even had names for them.
He imagined that's how Frodo was with books, it was like a little world you could be invested in that had no real damage to you. A little place only for you, an escape to a very calm place.
Though he admitted he'd grown attached to his plants, naming them, pretending they had little stories and that when one was wilting it was like some sort of darkness or evil had fallen over them.
And it felt good to cure them, to help them back to the bright colors they always were.
After this Sam went to the next job, a much more seasonal job, fixing and putting up the Christmas decorations. Though Sam never thought of himself as much of a festive person, especially since most of his family celebrated yule, he didn't deny loving the feeling coming along with it all.
The green and red colours, hot chocolate and giving people you love gifts, he loved it all. It gave such a warm feeling to him. Also in the past him and Frodo had got each other presents, even if they usually just quickly exchanged them and opened them on their own time, it was always lovely.
When Sam came back to the desk, Frodo was helping out a customer. Twiddling with the gold ring he wore on a silver chain around his neck.
Sam recalled that Mr. Bilbo had given his nephew that a month or two ago as he left for a vacation in France, since then, he had never seen Frodo parted from the ring. Frodo had told him that he called his uncle once a week or so, but he didn't seem to care about being on his own as long as Bilbo came back before the holidays, but Sam knew at this point Frodo was questioning If he would.
Since Bilbo had been gone Sam found himself over at their house even more often. He quite liked it, it was far out, on the countryside rather than in the city with the bookstore and their other friends' houses.
The area reminded him of old country landscape paintings he remembered seeing in a photo book as a kid. He didn't live near, but the photos mixed with the few times he had been around there as a kid made him nostalgic.
Sam remembered those times as a kid fondly, he never really met Frodo, but his father knew Bilbo, so Sam and all his siblings had drove up to Bilbo's house with their dad many times. If they were lucky, sometimes while the adults talked business they were allowed to hang around in the fields, mostly chasing each other through the gardens and other people's lawns. Nothing ever too fun, but he remembered loving it.
"Yeah, come back again sometime" Frodo said as the lady left, bringing Sam back into the world around him. "You alright, Sam?" Frodo questioned and took Sam's hand gently, Sam nodded and sat in his seat. "Mmhm, I was just thinkin' a bit" Frodo smiled and dropped his hand, he crossed his legs despite sitting in a desk chair and turned towards Sam "'Bout what?"
"Oh, when me and my siblings were kids, and we went out to your house with our da" Frodo looked a bit puzzled "Hm?" "When our dad would do work with your Bilbo, we'd just run around in the fields for hours" Frodo smiled and nodded slightly, looking away.
"Oh yeah, I can remember seeing you all out my window sometimes" "You were home?" Sam asked, he had figured Frodo hadn't moved in yet or was out since he never saw him around. "Yeah, I was probably working or drawing, I didn't really like leaving my room" he laughed. Sam smiled "That's fair, Frodo, I was the opposite though" Frodo looked to him and smiled, "Well, now we're opposites again, yes?" Sam nodded "Truly"
Sam stared to Frodo's face as he stared intensly at something, though Sam knew he was really only in his head, probably thinking or far away.
After work they left together, walking round the side of the building as Frodo unlocked his yellow huffy cruiser bike. Sam thought it was cute, most of their friends had gotten their license, and though Frodo was old enough, he hadn't, instead getting around on his old bike.
Sam stared over the brick wall, the bookstore was right atop a cliff, looking out over the ocean. Sam remembers, though being more social and less awkward as a kid, never going to the beach. When the summer rolled over, all his friends went for vacation, or simply left town, something his family didn't have the money for.
So he stayed alone and played with the rocks at the beach, drawing, always drawing, Sam thought though he wasn't any good, he should get back into it. Though alone, those times at the beach he felt matured him a bit.
He hadn't gone in a while, he briefly wondered if Frodo would go with him, even in the winter, it was beautiful, and he couldn't even imagine how lovely it would be.
But pushed it aside, it was a stupid fantasy.
"You're coming, yeah?" Sam nodded and turned back to face Frodo. Frodo already had a leg over the bike but wasn't on. Sam took his hand off the stone and climbed onto the back of the bike, holding his hands on Frodo's waist as they rode down the hill.
Frodo always went just a little faster than Sam liked, it made him a bit nervous, but after three years, they still hadn't crashed or gotten thrown off. And at this point he found it was pretty fun, he felt free when the cold air blew through his jacket and hair.
They rode through the town until they took a left turn at the end of a block, sending them into the dark countryside. "You have your phone?" Frodo asked, Sam nodded and understood what he wanted. He turned on his flashlight, he grabbed Frodo's waist tighter, nervously reaching around Frodo to put his phone in the basket to light the way.
Around them was snowy and it never failed to impress Sam how they rode almost normally through the thick of it. It was also pitch black besides the flash light, it was rather creepy but he tried his hardest not to dwell on that and rather getting back in the warm.
It amazed him that they never got lost, even during the day the dirt paths were confusing and no signs to tell you which way to go.
After another twenty minutes or so, they were going through what seemed like an endlessly huge corn field until they finally got to the end and skidded a bit, ending up right in front of the huge house that was Frodo's home.
Around the house, were many sweet chestnut trees, purple, red and orange flowers in front and all around the house's walls, there was ivy on it all too, making it seem more like a tunnel in the ground. The house had no fence around it, simply to the side was a small shed/garage building. The house felt like a small castle that had just been abandoned was now overtaken with nature. It reminded Sam of Ghibli movies he'd grown up watching.
On the inside it pretty much lives up to it, it was cottage and english country decor, but it was clear everything in it was expensive, and that most of it had been stolen a long time ago, won a long time ago, or were souvenirs from old trips.
Sam definitely liked being there, everything was just so cozy.
Frodo laughed as they both stumbled off the bike, they had both got somewhat tossed after they skidded, they must have hit a rock, but luckily for them, they just landed in front of where they needed to be.
"You okay?" Frodo asked, standing up and holding his hand out. Sam nodded and smiled, taking his hand.
He was picking up his phone when they both finally noticed that porch light was on and standing there were two very bouncy cousins.
"Frodo!" One of them yelled and waved over. Sam looked to Frodo, but he was just as confused. Frodo waved back and went to take his bike back to the shed first.
Sam got his phone and ran across the long yard to them, wanting to be inside as soon as possible, it was snowing after all. "Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked, they both smiled.
"We can't find the key to our apartment" Sam stared "Why'd you come here?" "Because, we knew he'd let us in, we're going to look for it when's it morning" "Oh"
They waited in an uncomfortable silence until Frodo came back. And he had to listen to them tell their story again, as expected Frodo was understanding and let them in. "Yeah, you can stay in the guest room" he said as he opened the door for them all.
Pippin smiled "Ha! I call the bed!" Merry rolled his eyes and looked to Frodo who laughed and shrugged "The couch" he suggested and Merry sighed "Fine, Pip, I'll be the mature one, and sleep on the couch" Merry said, tilting his head and waving his hands side to side, Pippin laughed "Ahh I knew I could count on you!"
After a while they had all settled in. Frodo put on a compilation record of '1964 greatest hits', starting strong with 'Do Wah Diddy Diddy' and oddly, the cackling of the old record and large phonograph sounded nice.
The three of them stood in the kitchen, watching Frodo who was attempting to cook for them without their help. He was cooking Bangers and Mash(with vegan sausage instead), something fairly simple, but supposedly not for him.
Merry watched intensely, face close to the pan as he cooked the veggie sausage. "So, when was the last time you cooked?" Frodo rolled his eyes "I baked a pie for the holidays" "And how'd that go?" Frodo smiled at his cousin "Horribly"
Pippin snickered and poked Frodo's cheek "Aw, does lil rich boy never have to cook?" He said mocking, Frodo chuckled "Oh don't act like you don't mooch off uncle Bilbo" Merry laughed and pitched in "Well, he's related to me someway so, he really should just be giving it to us"
Sam crossed his arms, watching as the three of them teased each other. Sam at first had thought it was strange to tease people(even if he had siblings), that was just never what his friends did or what his dad told him to do, but now he found it strangely brought them closer.
Sam couldn't help but feel a little excluded but even more so, jealous. It was stupid and he even wondered if he was allowed to be jealous, after all, Merry and Pippin had grown up with Frodo, he had even stayed at Merry's house for a while as a child.
But Sam, Sam had only known him for a few years, if he were Merry and Pippin he'd be upset if Frodo was giving him all the attention, giving his longtime friends up for a new boy, so what did Sam have to be upset about.
And, Frodo, Merry and Pippin were all his friends, they really didn't owe him anything, so why feel jealous?
Whatever, Sam figured he'd forget about it, he was here with his friends, he knew they loved him, he knew they weren't trying to...to take Frodo from him, it was an odd thought to admit, even just to himself.
So Sam put on a smile and gave input whenever it felt right, he was never really one to talk a lot anyways. Especially when Pip and Merry seemed to talk so much.
Eventually however, Frodo managed to get them to go spread their chaos elsewhere.
"Can you help me?" Frodo asked, his face and ears pink as he turned to Sam who smiled happily and nodded. "'Course"
"Here, I don't know how to cook" Frodo said, as he threw out burnt veggie sausage. Sam smiled "It's alright, I'll show you" Frodo nodded.
Sam freshly cleaned off the pan and started over, showing Frodo the right temperature and time to leave them on. Once they were done he showed him the proper way to peel potatoes and how to mash them.
Sam found he liked cooking with Frodo, even if he did most of it. Standing together, cooking for other people, it made himself feel like an adult, like a married couple.
It was calming, he felt he could stay here forever, stay with Frodo, he knew once the moment was gone he'd think about it, remember it, replay it, relive it in his head.
"I would like to think that Bilbo's coming back, I don't think so anymore though" Frodo said randomly, he watched Sam crush the potatoes, giving up a while ago after stating he wasn't strong enough.
This took Sam off guard, they hadn't been talking about it, though by now Sam knew he should come to expect even when in conversation, Frodo wasn't always present.
"Yeah?" He said, waiting to see what would happen next.
"Yeah, y'know, he had mentioned before and now that I think about it, it seems like a million little things were warnings, he's not coming home for the holidays" Sam grew concerned "I don't know, he wouldn't do that Mr Frodo, he wouldn't just leave you, not without a warning"
Sam knew Frodo wasn't convinced without even having to look at him, he knew that Frodo believed anyone could betray him any time, anyone could leave him any time now.
"Mm" was all Frodo said back before staring off a moment, Sam waited, he always would. Frodo shook his head and chuckled a bit "Yeah, he couldn't, i-i-no, you're right" Sam looked at him, not convinced.
Sam stopped and relaxed, turning to Frodo, "It'll be alright" he said, and Frodo stared directly into his eyes for a moment, something that seemed normal for anyone else but when Frodo did it Sam found himself thrown, Frodo normally avoided eye contact.
Sam stared back a moment longer and smirked at him, trying to reassure as much as possible. Sam put his hand on Frodo's shoulder, a small squeeze and waited for something to move the moment on.
But something else really hit him, he really liked Frodo, and suddenly he was far off. He wondered how Frodo felt, Sam knew based on past experiences someone could hit on Sam himself and he wouldn't even think they wanted to be friends.
He wouldn't notice until they just asked him out. Sam figured it wouldn't be like that. But it was okay, he would be content like this, like friends and if Frodo ever said something to him, who knew? But for now, he was fine.
Eventually they cooked something Sam could be proud of, he wasn't sure about Frodo...but he was well happy
After dinner they found themselves dancing. Pippin of course was the first to get up, 'Twist And Shout' came on and Pippin stopped halfway through his sentence. Eyes lighting up.
"One of you dance with me" he said excitedly. When none of them said anything Pippin rolled his eyes and chose Frodo. "This is what you get when you don't volunteer" He said and grabbed Frodo's wrists.
They danced a few feet from each other, just having fun, not thinking or worrying and Sam wished he could let loose.
He stared at Frodo, the way his long curls twirled around, the smile he wore and the way he moved so heavenly, Sam wondered how he could be so perfect.
"Care for a dance?" Merry said, an evil smile on his face, and though it wasn't what Sam had expected, or wanted, he found himself dancing with Merry. Just having fun, though he wondered about Frodo, what it would be like to dance with him.
Eventually Sam and Frodo gave up, falling to the couch, catching their breaths as they watched Merry and Pippin dance, seeming to have some sort of competition with the other.
"My money's on Pip, I don't think he ever stops" Frodo laughed out. Sam looked over, Frodo's head pushed hard into the couch, his body laying flatly as he breathed out.
Sam looked back to the others "I think so too, he's still young" they both laughed as Merry yelled an "I heard that!" over their way.
"Eh, you're all still young" Frodo said eventually and Sam shrugged and then smiled "Well, I think you are too then" Frodo just shrugged back. "You're barely older than me" Sam pointed out. Frodo laughed "Fine, fine, fine, but I feel ancient at this point" he snickered to himself.
Even in odd and short conversations like this, Sam would listen to Frodo speak forever. His accent was like a dream, Sam was from New Zealand and so was everyone he knew, but Frodo and most of his family came from England. Sam could remember the excitement when going to Bilbo's house as a kid, even just hearing Bilbo's accent intrigued him.
And accent besides, his words, his words always seemed to have more thought in them Sam thought he himself had in a day.
Sam nodded "I get it...you think they'll stop" Sam said after the dance thing went on longer than it ever should have. Sam knew however neither of them would give up, not until the other did.
Frodo laughed and shook his head "No, they're probably gonna run into each other first" Sam laughed and nodded, they definitely would.
Sam wondered if Frodo remembered May, two years ago. First time Sam held his hand, they had been in a strawberry field, Bilbo had dragged Frodo there and Frodo wanted someone to keep him company.
But in the end they had a great time, Bilbo had gone to the bathroom and they just sat on a bench, buckets of strawberries all around. Nothing was happening, they were simply talking about the animals they had seen on the way there and how they hadn't seen so much outside of their areas, and then it just happened.
Frodo and so casually grabbed his hand, he'd never done it before and it took Sam off guard, but Frodo looked like it was as natural as the wind.
Sam had decided then, if Frodo was the only person around, Sam wouldn't care, Frodo was all he needed. And in the moment it was all he really did need, he felt Frodo felt the same right then too.
Neither of them mentioned it, neither the hands or feeling, just enjoying it silently. It seemed so natural it seemed surreal, and Sam wondered if Frodo thought about it now like he did.
"I think uncle Bilbo has some, look in under his sink" they smiled and ran off.
They brushed their teeth in the bathroom just outside the bedrooms at the top. Sam smiled, finally getting to be alone like he had thought they'd be when they first left the bookstore.
Well, alone for a while at least, he knew it would only be a matter of minutes before Merry and Pip came crashing through the door with their new toothbrushes.
As Sam got the toothbrush he used whenever he stayed the night unexpectedly, he only just put it in his mouth when he noticed Frodo looking intensely at the corner of the floor.
He was about to say something but Frodo shook it off and looked at him in the mirror. He gave a gentle smile and started brushing his own teeth.
Sam wondered if he should have said something, and he knew he would, maybe not now, maybe not tonight, but he had to know he was okay.
So he just gave a smile back and continued brushing his teeth.
Sam watched the way Frodo picked up things and held his toothbrush. It was ever so slightly off, he only had three fingers on his dominant hand.
Sam had been there, the two of them were camping alone, wandering through the forest during sunrise, the sky a beautiful orange color, when they got in some trouble with some wild dog.
Sam knew neither of them were strong, but he at least knew he was stronger than Frodo, so he tried his best to protect him. But somehow the dog pounced on Frodo, biting his index finger off.
It was an odd and horrific experience, but Frodo himself seemed to take it better than he did. They were back at the hospital in roughly an hour and half and they stayed at the doctor's all day, but went home without needing to stay the night.
Now Frodo seemed well over it and just laughed about it whenever someone mentioned it, but to Sam, no matter many times he saw his fingers it was odd, and he couldn't help but stare. It brought back bad memories, bad thoughts and times, but he mostly ignored it, it wasn't his finger.
"It's pretty funny looking yeah?" Frodo laughed out and Sam instantly looked away, blush filling his face. "No-no-" "It's okay, Sam, I think it is too" Sam turned to meet Frodo's gaze though it wasn't looking back, more turned down to his hand now.
His room was old looking, burnt orange walls with dark wood paneling cover the bottom half of it. Detailed drawings of animal bones drawn with thick black ink on yellowed paper hung on the walls.
A few photos of him with friends, mostly ones taken in front of places or in the woods, presumably camping.
Postcards, standard paper sized posters of bands, pages of poetry and lights with fake leaves on them all on the wall.
The room was cold, partly because the window was open and the other probably because when he was here he just sat on his bed.
The room smelled like faded, smokey incense, and had an overall warm, but slightly dark feeling to it. Plants on practically every surface they could be, a small wooden book case that had books of Emily Dickson and Poe poems, a few other gothic novels too and records stacked next to each other.
He also had a dark wooden desk that had things all over it, a laptop in the center, an old record player to the left, plants, a sketch book, his diary, homework and school books, crystals, wilting flowers, and other scattered things.
The two of them sat down on Frodo's bed, Frodo raising his knees to his chest and they didn't speak. The silence was calm and welcoming, maybe a little forced feeling but not uncomfortable.
Sam watched as Frodo toyed with the ring around his neck, Sam used to think it was a sign of being nervous, but since he learned it was really just about never being able to be still.
Well probably some nerves too.
Frodo looked over, a small smirk on his face, "You think they'll wake us up tomorrow?" Sam chuckled a bit "I don't think they wake up early enough to" he smiled and turned back to look at the wall across the room "No, probably not"
Sam looked at him, he looked in deep thought, his forehead tense and a frown on his face. Sam sighed, he wondered what was on his mind.
To his surprise, Frodo looked over at the sound of his sigh, their faces now close and they studied each other, neither finding it odd or uncomfortable.
"Are you okay?" Frodo asked, after he was done reading his expression. Sam nodded "Yeah, are you okay, Mr.? You seem distracted" his lips pulled a small smile "You don't have to call me Mr, Sam"
Sam shrugged, turning his head a bit "Well my dad taught me good manners" Frodo smirked. "Are you saying I have none?" Sam shook his head quickly "No, no, I'm saying...it's just habit"
Frodo's expression softened and he grabbed Sam's hand "It's okay, I wasn't offended. You don't call anyone else Mr though…." Sam didn't look at him, he couldn't bear to, as pink filled up his freckle covered face.
"Uh" was all he managed. Frodo shook his head "Sorry, i-...I didn't mean to make you nervous" Sam snapped out his small daze and looked back to Frodo who looked down at the bed.
"It's alright, Sir" Frodo nodded slightly. "What's on your mind?" Sam asked again. Frodo huffed a bit, changing the way he sat to be closer "Just...just life I suppose, I've been pretty in my head, I haven't really been all here anymore...thinning out"
Sam nodded, he sometimes wondered if maybe he was distracting Frodo, or if Frodo even wanted to hang out. He was busy, exams, graduating and finding a uni, jobs, careers. He wondered if Frodo just felt like he was hanging out with a little kid.
Sam was only a year younger but he felt he was far less busy and responsible.
Sam wished he could take his hands and pull Frodo out of his world and bring him into his, where they could be relaxed and calm, back in the strawberry fields. He wondered if Frodo would even want to go to his world.
Even if Frodo didn't, Sam knew he'd try to give him as much sunshine as possible.
Sam tilted his head and squeezed Frodo's hand, not speaking so he could continue.
"I suppose, I'm really just tired" he faltered. Sam nodded, he didn't say much, Frodo was like that when it came to these things, but Sam understood, he understood perfectly.
"Sorry" he said, voice hoarse and whisper like. Frodo sighed and rested his head on Sam's shoulder "It's okay, Sam, it's not your fault" "It's not yours" Frodo just shrugged.
"Sometimes it's just so easy to do the easiest thing" "Hmm?" Sam hummed in response, gently playing with his dark curls.
"Going home, giving up" Sam stopped and looked down at his head, he stared concerned, and lifted up Frodo's head using his soft fingers on Frodo's chin.
"Hey, can you promise you won't give up?" He said, staring into his blue eyes. Frodo gave a small smile. "Sam, I dream you could see yourself the way I do"
Sam felt his face turn pink but for once he didn't care. "Promise?" He asked again and Frodo nodded "Anything for you" Sam sighed "Do it for yourself, sir" He frowned at Sam's words but eventually nodded.
They both just stared, at the wall, at each other, the bed, the decorations, everything. But when Sam turned his head, he was surprised to find Frodo looking to him, his face rosy and pale, like a porcelain doll.
Frodo looked like he had been caught and quickly turned away. Sam had always felt cowardly, especially in comparison to sir Frodo, who he had seen upset or distraught, but even then, he never broke his calmness. He found it strange for him to be nervous, Sam wondered if he had done something wrong.
"I'd love to walk around in your mind" Sam said, simply just thinking out loud. Frodo turned his head back, tilting it. "I'd like to walk around in your mind someday, I'd like to walk all over the things you say to me" Frodo murmured.
Sam tilted his head now "Hmm?" "It's a song, uncle Bilbo had it on record, it used to scare me as a child" Sam gave a small laugh. He wondered how many things Frodo knew that he hadn't ever heard of. "Do you know something about everything?" He voiced his thoughts.
Frodo shook his head "No...no, I've never liked football" Sam laughed louder than he would have liked. "Me either"
Frodo gave him a small smile, Sam loved that smile, it made him feel rather insecure this moment. Had he laughed too loud, did Frodo not think it was that funny, he wished he hadn't laughed.
"Sometimes I feel like a right fool" he blurted out. Frodo raised his brow and looked over "Mm?" "I dunno, I wish I could be so calm, so tender like you"
Frodo's face turned to one of concern and Sam wished he had shut his mouth sooner. "I meant it when I said i wish you could see yourself the way i do, Sam, you're so...you're everything"
Sam sighed "Not all the glitters is gold" Sam said softly, he remembered hearing it in a book Frodo had read to him at work. Frodo frowned "No, no it's not Sam" he said, combing through Sam's hair. "But it's not true about you"
"You may not be so calm, but you're more tender than I could dream of" He picked up Sam's hands, Sam was surprised to find Frodo's were clammy. He showed off Sam's hands, staring at them "See? Big and strong, but so gentle" Sam sighed
Sam was taken back when Frodo bent his hands and kissed his knuckles softly. Sam felt like a prince, maybe at the entrance of a ball, meeting his date for the first time, or maybe they'd known each other for thousands of years. He didn't know.
Frodo looked up, suddenly unsure "Sorry"
Sam shook his head "It's okay, sir" he mumbled and before much could happen the gap was closed and Sam nearly pulled away from shock. But he didn't, instead wrapping his arms around Frodo's small waist like he did when they rode Frodo's bike together.
After a bit, Frodo gave out and pulled away, he smiled gently, face red and sleepy looking. "Can we go to bed now, it's late" Sam smiled and nodded "Course, sir" Frodo smiled and watched Sam turn out the light.
They both laid down on the bed but apart from each other. The bed was too big for the two of them, Sam kind of wondered why he even had a big bed. But he figured the way they were laying was the reason why, they were right next to each other, laying on the very same bed but Frodo was still a foot away and turned around and curled to himself.
Sam stared at his dark curls, and he really figured he'd always known. Frodo seemed to consume his whole life, like a honeymoon phase but it lasted years and years. He'd been infatuated but had never truly processed it. He wasn't sure how he felt finally processing it, but it was pretty okay now.
Sam quietly hummed to himself, and decided to just let himself drift away...