Chapter Text
Being roommates were hard, it was even harder - considering the near future(and the past). Living in a country home with your crush’s boyfriend wasn’t ideal - at least for Logan. Jean, Scott and Logan all live together - not in harmony - but a symphony of crashing plates and slamming doors.
Logan and Scott tried to get along but Logan was being a stupid household fly that wouldn’t know when to quit. It was a summer evening when it started. The tension, the lies, everything…“You still believe in those stupid stories Summers?” Logan said, lying on the carpet floor, smoking a cigarette.
The smoke filled the room with ease, slipping its way through the cracks in the floorboard - and into Scott’s nose. His friend slammed the book shut, rushing to open a window.
“What did Jean say about smoking indoors?” He said sternly.
“Ah,” he chuckled, sitting up to face his younger friend “Jeannie ain’t here, so no stress.”
“I’m here,” Scott said with a little sting. It was all about Jean around this household. She was a muse - their muse. She was an angel and they were constantly fighting over her like she was a prize.
“You ain’t no Jeannie,” he let the cigarette hang in his mouth for a while before approaching him “what you readin’ anyway?”
Sometimes Logan was scary to him. Even though he was much taller than him.
“A novel.” He replied simply. Scott’s room was neater than Logan’s and it smelled nice - It smelled like Jean. Everything just reminded Logan of Jean - maybe that’s why he doesn’t like hanging around Scott, he just doesn’t like him. He hates how pretty his eyes look and how stupidly cute he looks when he smiles. Logan chuckled at the young man’s infatuation with books. It was something he didn’t understand. He was wonderful, too wonderful that his mind was confused.
He was one of the kindest people he’s ever met. Which confused him even more - they had a lot in common, no parents, being an outcast - and liking Jean Grey.
“Why are you kind to me?” He asked, sitting next to him on the bed. The question caught Scott off guard, he looked at Logan.
“You’re my friend,” he replied as if it was the obvious answer.
“I was such a…mean person to you – how could you have possibly–”
Scott sighed “that was the past, Logan, that was High School. We’re fully grown adults now,” Logan paused and remembered what happened that day – he felt terrible; the guilt still lingers - not only that but the feeling, the feeling of holding Scott under the soft bedsheets and the smell of freshly baked bread - he missed that. He missed being felt loved.
SEVERAL YEARS AGO:
“You’re full of shit,” Logan spat at Scott, his urge to punch him has never been stronger. Scott backed against the wall, slightly afraid.
“I didn’t mean to!” Scott protested, struggling to find the words. He really didn’t mean to stumble on the teenager kissing some lady older than him in the park. “I won’t tell anyone!” He stammered “Logan, we’re friends–” The older boy ignored him. They weren’t just friends - he knows it. They were more than friends once.
But Lord knew that Logan missed the taste of his lips, the feeling of his hugs. He had to break it off - or else his brother would kill him. Literally. Scott and Logan broke up months ago - it was a ‘fling’ as they described it.
“Then how come half of our school knows?” He grunted “it’s legal! I’m eighteen, I’m allowed to doin’ whatever the hell I want!” His breath smelled of smoke and it was entrancing – for some reason Scott couldn’t take his eyes away from him. All he could think about was that day, that one minute of just…He blinked and looked up at him.
“No, Logan,” he said, regaining confidence, “I know the reason why you’re going around kissing women.”
Logan punched the wall, rage surging through his body “SHUT UP!” He snapped.
“You shouldn’t let your brother control you–”
“Victor’s not my brother, never has, never will be!” He shouted, hitting Scott across the face, making him fall into the ground. Head first into the ground. Logan had this urge to punch something again, Scott got sent to hospital - they didn’t speak much after that incident.
After that, it was just glares and sneering from then on. Scott was a forgiving person - Logan knew that. Everyone knew that. The little ‘fling’ they had felt like fire, a fire that had died out since that incident in the hallway.
END OF FLASHBACK
Logan rubbed his hands together, even though the room was warm. “I’m sorry. For treating you so badly,” Logan apologised. Scott knew it was sincere because of the look in his eyes. There was no reply, Scott didn’t know what to say to that. “Well some things haven’t changed,” he finally spoke, “you still smoke.” You still look fine as hell, He didn’t say. Scott’s phone buzzed.
JEAN: On my way soon! x
“Jean’s on her way,” Scott said, putting the phone down.
Logan laid down on his bed, it was soft and the quilt was coloured blue - bookshelves were arranged perfectly and he looked at the ceiling, not a spot of anything to be found. Another puff of smoke escaped from his mouth, “how do you keep things so neat, Slim?” He asked to Scott’s back.
“I suppose your room looks like…shit?” Scott chuckled.
Logan laughed, “sadly, yeah,”
He got up from the bed, approaching Logan’s room down the hall, Logan sprung up, as if it was instinct. He opened the door to Logan’s room, there were clothes everywhere, it heavily smelled of smoke and there was an ashtray next to the bed - the bed was wrinkled from all the nightmares he’d had - and the bookshelf was slanted. “We need to get you an anger management class,” Scott mumbled. Logan went down the hall, he peered behind Scott’s shoulder.
“Ain’t so bad,” he said with a coy smile. His friend rolled his eyes and pointed to the mess. “Logan.” Scott said firmly “this is our house, you better look after it. It’s a team effort.”
They heard jingling of keys and a fumble of a door - Jean had arrived home. She was beautiful, her long red hair - and her smile, not to mention her intelligence… “Welcome home,” Scott said as she put her items on the table. He kissed her lovingly, Logan always felt like a third wheel - another reason to hate Scott.
He always wondered what it was like to be kissed by Jean, whether it felt just as warm as the summer sky. Sometimes he does feel excluded in this place…it wasn’t entirely home. Not like back in Canada. It was nice enough for them to let them stay in his home while his brother has gone into rehab.
Jean was wearing dark blue jeans, she always had multiple pairs of them. They don’t know why maybe it was a 'girl thing’. She always looked good in everything - Logan respected their relationship, which is why he never intruded and try to be with Scott or Jean. He just loved them both so much.
They were good friends. They supported each other, like that time when Jean’s parents got divorced, Scott’s brother, Alex had recently gone to jail - and Logan, they provided him with a home - literally. By letting him stay here - as roommates.
“Hey Logan,” Jean smiled. There was something about her that he really loved - then he turned to see Scott’s face…The way the two of them connect and be together - he couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Hey,” was all he could say. “You have fun?”
“Yes,” she smiled, setting down her things and taking off her shoes “it was lovely. Ororo made the best muffins - not to mention, I bumped into Xavier there!” Xavier was their old college teacher, at the school for the gifted. Jean is a doctor, in a hospital and Scott fixes cars and engines for a living. Logan, however, is still looking for a job. He doesn’t want to be a hopeless case like Victor said he would. He’s applied to multiple jobs and many have denied, he’s been fired multiple times, too.
“Scott, can you turn on the stove for me, boil some water?” She asked sweetly. Scott walked over to the kitchen, Logan started helping to get out ingredients from the fridge. Scott and Logan have become experts in making pasta - nothing else but pasta. The soup was something that Scott was good at too. Logan was always confused about how to make soup, so many steps and ingredients - the pasta was simple. Jean went upstairs, Logan noticed Scott’s eyes follow her as she did so. They heard the shower turn on.
“So uh,” Logan began, setting out bowls and forks on the table “how are you and Jean doin’?”
“Fine,” Scott replied, “hey Logan…I think…it’s time we find you a girlfriend.” The real reason why is because he, too, was pressing down his feelings.
“Why?” Logan asked, almost offended. He tried to find the words to reply to the question - he didn’t want to offend him.
“I see your expression whenever Jean and I do couple stuff, I think we should try something. That way you’re not so…lonely.”
He scoffed, “I’m not lonely, Slim.” He was. He felt like he was being ignored - or felt like he was not getting his feelings right. There was something he couldn’t pinpoint - it was the feeling, the image of being with Scott or Jean. It was the feeling of being loved that felt alien and unheard of. “That’s a lie,” Scott said - he knows him a little too well.
They both knew there was tension in the air. Jean meant everything to both of them. The next day was different, it was Logan’s turn to get the groceries. He pushed he shopping trolley along, checking the list every now and then, making sure it’s correct. So far there have been two boxes of cereal, more soup, some hygiene products…He walked past a happy couple, so in love, it almost made him sick. He doesn’t know the feeling of being held like that. Maybe one day he will.
He walked past a bunch of flowers, the paused - Scott’s favourite. Jean’s favourite. Roses and Lillies. They both confused him, a lot.
HIGH SCHOOL | YEARS AGO
It was Valentines Day. The red hearts and perfume was intoxicating - people walking hand-in-hand in the hallways…“Stupid, isn’t it?” Victor chuckled, ripping up a card someone gave him.
“Vic, someone gave you that card,” Logan folded his arms “who’s it from?”
“No idea,” he chucked it in the bin. Scott and Jean walked past, holding hands, smiling, laughing - they were mesmerising. He just wants to be held like that, loved like that – Victor was also very stubborn about his feelings. “Why you always staring at ‘em?” Victor asked with a teasing smile “you jealous or something? Anyone would kill to be with Jean, she’s smoking.”
Logan chuckled nervously, the feeling of Scott’s smile still lingered on his lips, which he now replaced with cigarettes. “Yeah. Of course.”
END OF FLASHBACK
Once Logan arrived home, he saw Scott washing the dishes. “I think you’re right,” Logan told him “I am lonely.” he reached for another cigarette in his pocket, taking in the substance and enjoying the feeling of freeing his pain. Scott was stunned to hear the news.
“Are you sure?” He asked, hoping Logan wasn’t being pressured by his brother again, let alone his low self-esteem. He knows Logan, he knows that he doesn’t like being pushed around like a soccer ball. He knows that Logan likes alcohol over coffee. He just wants someone to treat him well because he didn’t all those years ago.
“Yes, Slim, I’m one-hundred percent,” he replied. They’re all around in their 20s now, you’d think Logan and Scott would stop bickering like children. “You’re smoking again,” Jean called from the other room.
“Yes,” Logan confirmed. You could hear Jean laugh from the other side of the room.
“Logan,” she smiled, leaning on the couch “I know a couple of women out there that would love to be with you!” It was a flattering thought, to think that so many women are into you - but the people that you’re into don’t feel the same. It was a yearning…But so out of reach. Great. Logan thought - maybe he was pushing himself into this…He just felt really guilty for liking both of them - Scott and Jean. Sometimes being roommates were fun.
Like movie night, the smell of buttery popcorn and the look of both of their smiles – Logan was glad to have met them. He sighed, looking up at Jean.
“So, when do we start?”