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A Ferris wheel. Why did it have to be a fucking Ferris wheel.
Henry sits on this steel deathtrap, in the rain, shivering in his sweatshirt. He's gone around on this thing at least ten times today, and every time makes him want to vomit. Why couldn't they change it to a nice carousel? Or the teacups? Why, in god's name, did it have to be a Ferris wheel.
He does not let Alex know he's afraid of heights, as they go around around. And if he clutches his hand a little too tightly, it's only because of the cold, and not because he's scared. If Alex notices, he doesn't say anything, just says his lines as rehearsed. He looks so relaxed in this role, like it was made for him, and it really was. It's sincere and real and loving and everything that Alex is. He was born to play Simon.
"Are you disappointed that it's me?" Henry asks. Alex looks over at him, and Jesus, Henry could die. The way he looks at him is indescribable. He has to remind himself it's all pretend, that none of this is real.
"No," he says. It's one simple line, but it makes Henry's heart flutter, and suddenly Alex is kissing him and the rain is pouring down even harder. He feels Alex's hand slide to hold the back of his neck, and Henry places his own on Alex's wrist and pulls him closer. He forgets about the Ferris wheel, about the height, about the rain. The only thing he can focus on is Alex's mouth on his. He wonders if this is how Bram feels too, when he finally gets to kiss Simon after months and months of emailing back and forth. If it feels for him how it does for Henry, like fireworks are going off in his chest. He wonders if it feels this way for Alex.
But then Alex is pulling away again, and Henry is left feeling cold and empty as he sees him slide as far away as he can in the Ferris wheel seat. They must have called for a cut while they were kissing. He must not have heard it.
Henry clears his throat, as he always finds himself doing before speaking to Alex. "Look, Alex, I- I was going through a lot, when we were working together that first time, I. I didn't mean to be rude."
"It's alright, Henry," Alex crosses his arms across his chest and turns away. "we don't need to be friends."
He bites his lip. "I know, I just. I don't like it when people don't like me."
"Well, I don't dislike you."
"Oh."
Henry pretends that doesn't make his heart beat just a little faster.