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“Alright everyone, quiet down! We’re going to do a final roll call before we leave, okay?”
The chatter in the small classroom continued at a lower volume, with kids seated on the floor in their groups, bags clutched closely to their chest. After three glorious days, the school’s camp trip had finally come to an end. Some were happy to go home, having missed their family and the comfort of their beds, others missed being back in the small log cabins, sleeping with their friends as they talked hours into the night.
Ushijima looked out of the window, absent-mindedly picking at the dirt under his nails while his friends around him compared the rocks and sticks they found. All he could see were buildings and lamp posts, nothing like those back at the campsite.
He had never seen the sky so blue before, with trees so tall they almost seemed to touch the clouds above. If he closed his eyes, he could still smell the faint earthy scent of the trees that his nose had never known before. Everything there was so fresh and beautiful, just maybe he was a little sad to have left it all so soon. But as much as he liked being around his friends, exploring the small river behind their cabin for rocks and small insects, he couldn’t wait to get home and see his parents again.
Maybe he could ask them if they could go there for a family trip. Then he could show his parents the river behind the cabin with all the pretty rocks, or the trees further down that were perfect for climbing. Maybe they could have a campfire and roast marshmallows as he did with his friends.
“Ushijima Wakatoshi!”
“Wakatoshi, your name!” His friend called out to him.
Ushijima was pulled away from his thoughts as he stared at the front of the room at his teacher. “Here,” he said politely, raising his hand.
“Wakatoshi, what rocks did you find?” His friend asked as the roll call continued.
Ushijima reached into his pocket and pulled out a small smooth dark green pebble dotted with freckles. “This.”
The boys drew closer and marvelled at the colour, before losing interest and going back to their previous conversation.
Ushijima stared at the pebble in his hand, rolling it over a few times, just to really admire it. A small smile crept its way up to his face as he brought it up to the window, the pebble blocking the light from his line of vision. He brought the pebble back down, his mind wandering as he thought about a bowl of freshly washed green grapes.
“I want grapes,” he said softly to himself, rolling the pebble in his palm.
“Is Tendou Satori here?”
“Here,” came a meek voice. Every head in the room turned to the scrawny red-headed boy sitting behind Ushijima and his friends.
“Ahh, there you are,” the teacher noted, nodding as she scribbled in her notebook. “Please be a bit louder for me next time, okay?”
The loud chatter turned to a low murmur, as the kids peeked over their shoulders and pointed at the quiet boy that no one seemed to remember being part of their trip.
“Was he with us this whole time?”
“He looks weird.”
“Who is he?”
“He’s kinda scary looking.”
“How did we not notice him?”
“Does he have no friends?”
“Weirdo, sitting all by himself.”
Ushijima turned to see the boy clutching his bag close to him, staring at his shoes as he picked on his laces and immediately recognized him. He was the boy that sat next to on the bus ride to the camp. He didn’t seem off or weird; despite his appearance, he was actually really nice. He even offered some of his orange slices when they were on the bus together, and let him read his comic with him. So Ushijima wasn’t sure why he was hearing all those mean comments about him.
Maybe there was something about him he didn’t know?
He must have stared for too long because the red-headed boy’s eyes shot up and at Ushijima. His wide eyes stared back at him, and in seconds, his face broke into a wide smile as he recognized him. Ushijima noticed his two front teeth were missing. Despite the gaping hole in his smile, something about it was so endearing to Ushijima that he couldn’t help but to smile back and wave.
“Wakatoshi, hi!” He whispered excitedly, waving his little hand back at him.
“Your teeth, were they always missing?” Ushijima whispered lowly.
Tendou shook his head, grinning. “They fell out yesterday at breakfast when I bit into my apple!”
“Did it hurt?”
Tendou shook his head again. “Nope! But it was funny!” He grinned, rummaging in his bag. “I took a bit and suddenly my teeth were stuck in the apple! I tried to look for you to show it to you because it was so funny, but I think you had left already.”
Ushijima remembered seeing Tendou sitting a little further off away from his friends as they had breakfast the day before. He wondered why he didn’t take the initiative to invite him over to eat with him and his friends.
“Do you want to see?” Tendou whispered excitedly.
“See what?”
“My teeth!”
“You have them?”
“Yeah!”
Just as Tendou was about to pull out his teeth, Ushijima was pulled back into his friend group. Surprised, he turned to his friends. “What?” he asked. “Was my name called again?”
“Don’t talk to him,” his friends said, whispering lowly. They all cast side glances at Tendou, who looked as though he had just been slapped. There was something in Ushijima’s chest that hurt at the sight of Tendou’s face at that moment, prompting him to ask why.
“Why? What’s wrong with him?”
His friends exchanged nervous glances among each other, nudging each other to break the news to him about this strange red-headed boy that no one else wanted to talk to.
“I heard he killed a cat!” One of them whispered harshly.
“Yeah, and that he ate it too!” Another chimed in.
“He also whispers and talks to himself all the time, it’s so freaky,” Another shuddered.
“I think he’s casting spells on people when he does that!”
“Yeah, I heard him mum is a witch and they eat children!”
“He’s dangerous, Wakatoshi,” they said gravely. “Don’t get to close to him.”
Ushijima turned back to Tendou, and watched his face light up. “He seems normal, though,” Ushijima whispered to his friends.
“That’s what he wants you to think,” his friend said, shaking his head. “Before you know it, he’ll cast a spell on you and eat you too!”
“He’s a monster!”
Ushijima looked out of the corner of his eyes to see Tendou staring down at his palm, and it was then that he noticed him whispering to himself. He couldn’t make out what was being said as he turned to face his friends, all of them wide-eyed, as though they had just witnessed a crime.
“Did you see that?”
“Yeah, he did it again!”
“What a weirdo!”
Were his friends right?
Was Tendou really a weirdo who ate people?
No.
Right?
“Alright!” Their teacher closed her attendance book with a snap and beamed at the class. “Well, I hope that trip was fun and enjoyable for you guys!”
Everyone cheered in unison.
“That’s great to hear!” The teacher smiled widely. “Well, your parents are probably waiting for you by the entrance, so you all can leave but please do so in an orderly manner! Have a great weekend!”
All the students thanked the teacher, and in their groups, left the classroom, still chatting amongst themselves.
Ushijima’s friends slowly gathered up all their sticks and rocks, laughing among themselves as they discussed plans for when they reached home.
“Maybe I’ll take a nap! That bus ride was really long!”
“I’m gonna take a nice hot shower first!”
“My mum’s probably got something really delicious waiting for me, I can’t wait to dig in!”
“I’ll probably play my video games; I haven’t played them in so long!”
As Ushijima casually looked around the classroom, waiting for his friends, he spotted a mop of red hair waiting by the door, eyes big and a smile even bigger.
“Wakatoshi!” He mouthed excitedly. He slowly raised and pointed at his fist. “My teeth!”
Ushijima felt a small smile creep upon his face. He turned to his friends and bowed. “I’m going to the toilet,” he said as he quickly walked to the door. “I’ll be back.”
“That’s okay, we’ll wait for outside!” They called back, still putting their things in their bag.
Ushijima walked out and found Tendou looking out of the window in the hall. He turned and beamed at the sight Ushijima, the gap in his smile endearing as ever. “Here, look!”
He opened his fist to reveal to small milky white teeth and very beautiful smooth red pebble.
“Isn’t it cool?” Tendou asked excitedly.
Ushijima nodded. “Will you keep them?”
Tendou nodded. “Yeah, as a keepsake for this camping trip! So I can remember how I lost them!”
“What about that pebble?” Ushijima asked, pointing at the small pebble in his hand. “Wouldn’t that be a keepsake too?”
“Oh,” Tendou faltered as his face began to colour. He scratched his head and smiled softly. “Actually, I wanted to give this to you.”
“To me? Why?” Ushijima was surprised. Why would he give him this pretty pebble?
“Because you were nice to me, and you talked to me on the bus when we were going to camp,” Tendou said shyly. “I really didn’t want to go because I was afraid people were going to be mean to me, but then you let me sit with you, and you spoke nicely to me, so this is me saying thank you.”
“Oh,” Ushijima was all he could manage, taken aback.
“Yeah,” Tendou smiled nervously. “And also, it’s something you can remember me by. Because,” He raised the pebble to his hair. “It’s the same colour, you see. So when you see this, you’ll remember me!” He gently reached for Ushijima’s hand and placed his red pebble in it.
“I hope you like it,” Tendou said, still visually nervous. “If not, you can just throw it, it’s okay. In fact, if you don’t want to be friends with me, then I’m sorry about this! I just thought because you were nice to me, and I wanted to be nice to you, so I –”
Seeing Tendou all flustered and possibly sad at the thought of Ushijima rejecting the pebble – maybe even going so far as to be mean to him about it – hurt a part of Ushijima’s chest. He wasn’t sure why, but it hurt.
“It’s okay,” Ushijima politely interrupted him. “I like the pebble, thank you.”
Tendou looked visibly relieved as he sighed, a genuine smile popping through. “Oh, I’m so glad!”
“In fact,” Ushijima dug through his pocket and fished out his little green pebble. “I want you to have this, to remember me by.”
Tendou’s eyes went wide, and Ushijima swore they almost sparkled. “Really?” He said in awe.
Ushijima nodded firmly. “Yes, please have this.”
“Okay,” Tendou gently accepted the pebble, marvelling at it. “Thank you, this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done.”
Ushijima responded with a smile as the two of them walked down the corridor. “So, I was thinking of putting my teeth in some clay and maybe make something out of it,” Tendou grinned. “What do you think?”
Before Ushijima could respond, he felt himself being pulled back, nearly losing balance.
“Wakatoshi, are you o –” Tendou turned to reach out for him but was stopped, his arm slapped away.
“Leave him alone, weirdo!” Ushijima’s friends shouted, pulling Ushijima back.
“Wakatoshi, are you okay?” His friends asked. “Did he do anything to you?”
“No, he –” But before he could get his response out, his friends were attacking Tendou again.
“Ew, what is that?” They asked in disgust, grabbing his wrist.
“T-they’re my t-teeth,” Tendou stuttered, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
“Hey, guys –” Ushijima began, uncomfortable at how quickly the situation had escalated.
“Ew, why do you have teeth?” They exclaimed, backing away in disgust. “That’s so gross, did you pull them from an animal?”
“N-no, they’re m-mine,” Tendou wiped the tears that had already fallen.
“Wait, that’s Wakatoshi’s pebble! Why did you steal his pebble?”
“I didn’t, h-he gave it t-to –”
“Guys, I think he’s cursing Wakatoshi!” One of the friends exclaimed, pulling out the red pebble from Ushijima’s grasp. “He was murmuring at this pebble in class, remember? He’s put a curse in it!”
“No, I didn’t!” Tendou cried. “Wakatoshi, I promised I didn’t!”
“You killed and ate a cat, you’re disgusting!” They shouted, pulling further away from him.
“I didn’t!” Tendou cried once more, tears flowing down his face. “I was trying to bring it back to life! I was trying to save it!”
“Yeah right, you liar!”
“You killer!”
“You monster!”
I heard he killed a cat!
He wouldn’t, right?
Yeah, and that he ate it too!
The boy that offered him orange slices? A cat eater?
He also whispers and talks to himself all the time, it’s so freaky!
Maybe he was just lonely?
I think he’s casting spells on people when he does that!
Was he under a spell right now?
Yeah, I heard him mum is a witch and they eat children!
Could that be why he had no friends? Because he ate them?
He’s dangerous, Wakatoshi.
Were they right?
Don’t get to close to him.
Was he wrong trying to be his friend?
Ushijima watched as his friends hurl insult after insult at him. For some reason, the pain in his chest grew larger as he watched Tendou cry his heart out in an attempt to get them to believe him. Deep inside, he wanted to push his friends away, and pull Tendou in for a hug – he looked like he could use one.
But at the same time, what if his friends were right?
“Wakatoshi doesn’t even want to be your friend!” Ushijima snapped back to the present when he heard his name.
“What?” he asked
Tendou’s eyes went large, but this time, they weren’t those pretty big eyes that sparkled with joy and happiness; instead, they were full of sadness. “What?” He whispered, hurt. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Ushijima’s friends spoke over him. “So go away!”
Tendou stumble backwards, clutching his chest as though he had been stabbed. “Wakatoshi, is that true?”
Ushijima stared at Tendou, tongue-tied and unable to answer as his fingernails dug into his palms. Why couldn’t he speak? Was this the curse that his friends were talking about?
Or maybe.
Just maybe.
This was a curse from his own friends.
A curse that stopped him from speaking up and reaching out to people who actually needed and deserved friends.
Before Ushijima could speak up, Tendou beat him to it. “I see,” he croaked, nodding. Wearing a broken smile, he backed away slowly. “Well, then, I’m sorry to have bothered you at all.”
He threw his baby teeth and Ushijima’s pebble at the ground in front of him and ran.
Ushijima stood there, staring at the teeth and pebble on the floor. The pain in his chest had grown and all he could feel in that moment across his whole body was hurt.
“That was close, Wakatoshi,” his friends exclaimed, patting his back. “Are you okay?”
“That wasn’t very nice of you all, you know,” Ushijima said solemnly, shrugging his friends’ hands from his back as he went to pick up the teeth and pebble. “You really hurt his feelings.”
“Don’t pick them up!” His friends rushed to pull his back. “They’re cursed!”
“Stop it.”
His friends were stunned at Ushijima's command and stopped in their tracks. He picked up the teeth and the pebble and turned to his friends. “The only curse I’m under is the one you guys have put over me, telling me he was a weirdo when really he wasn't,” Ushijima said, shaking his head in disappointment. “All he wanted was a friend, and now you’ve hurt him.”
“But –”
“And it’s not just you,” Ushijima continued. “It’s the whole class. All of you are so mean to him, and I feel horrible for not having done anything earlier, and he’s hurt and crying. Do you know how that feels?”
“Wakatoshi, he’s –”
“A monster?” Ushijima interrupted. “A weirdo? Because he’s alone? Because he has no friends?”
“Well –”
“Well, maybe the reason he has no friends is because everyone is so mean to him. He was so happy that I was nice to him on the bus trip to camp, that he gave me this pretty red pebble as a thank you.”
He lifted his green pebble and the baby teeth. “So I gave him my green pebble as a gift to remember this trip. And these teeth? He lost them when he bit into an apple, and he thought it was funny, and kept it as a keepsake too. He showed them to me because he wanted to share with me. And he probably wanted to share that funny moment with someone, but had no one to share it with.”
His friends didn’t respond, consumed with silence and possibly guilt.
“I don’t want to be friends with people who are mean to others just because they look a little different,” Ushijima said as he turned his back on them. “Goodbye.”
And without waiting for a response from them, he took off running.
He ran down the hallway as fast as he could, taking the steps two at a time and hoping he could still make it on time to return the teeth and pebble to Tendou and apologize profusely for not speaking up when he should have.
His chest hurt, but he pushed it down, thinking about how absolutely heartbroken Tendou must have felt.
He sped down the main hall and out the door, panting as his eyes scanned the crowd. There were too many people, but not one red-haired little boy in sight.
“Wakatoshi!”
Ushijima whipped his head to see who had called him, only to be greeted by his mother.
No, she wasn’t who he was looking for.
He was looking for Tendou.
His chest burned, the pain bubbling up to his head.
“Wakatoshi, there you are!” His mother smiled, bending down to give him a hug. “I was wondering why you were taking so long.”
“No, not now!” Ushijima gently pushed her away, eyes still scanning as he looked as hard as he could for Tendou.
“What’s wrong?” His mother asked, surprised. “Are you looking for someone?”
Bubbling.
Bubbling all the way to his eyes.
Bubbling tears out of his eyes as he angrily wiped them away.
Angry?
Why was he angry?
Who was he angry at?
Himself, of course.
He was angry because he allowed people to hurt Tendou, the sweet and kind soul that only wanted a friend.
His mother’s eyes went wide as she knelt before him, wiping the tears from his face. “Wakatoshi, what happened? Are you okay?”
No, no I’m not.
I hurt someone.
I hurt someone really badly.
He cried.
I made him cry.
I made him cry and all I did was watch him cry.
“My f-friend,” he said, voice wobbly. “He d-dropped his t-things and I’m afraid he will f-forget them.”
I’m afraid he will forget me.
I don’t want him to forget me.
I want to be his friend.
“I’m afraid he will f-forget them, so I have t-to give them b-back because they’re precious t-to him.”
I want to tell him I’m sorry, and that he’s a precious friend to me.
“Oh, Wakatoshi,” His mother pulled him in for a hug. “Alright, let’s go ask a teacher and see if he’s still around, okay?”
Ushijima nodded, furiously wiping away his tears.
“Don’t worry, Wakatoshi, we’ll find your friend, okay? Don’t cry anymore, we’ll find him.”
Unfortunately, they were too late and Tendou had already returned home. When Ushijima’s mother asked for their home address, their teacher was unable to provide it at the moment but assured Ushijima – with a smiled – that Tendou would be back in class on Monday, and he could return his things then.
But when Monday came around, Tendou was nowhere to be seen.
Monday became Tuesday, Tuesday became Wednesday, and soon, two weeks had passed.
Through it all, Tendou didn’t show up.
It was only a month after the camp trip that Ushijima walk up to his teacher to ask for Tendou’s whereabouts, worried that something horrible had happened to him.
“Satori? Tendou Satori?” His teacher asked. “Oh, Wakatoshi, he no longer goes here. He left.”
He left.
Those two words stayed ringing in his ears as he stared at his teacher, dumbfounded.
“What?”
“Yeah, his parents came to meet me two weeks ago and said they were moving, so Satori was pulled out,” His teacher said, gathering her books for the next class. “Didn’t he tell you? I’d have thought he told you, seeing as to how you two were friends.”
Seeing as to how you two were friends.
Were they friends?
Would a friend treat another friend how Ushijima had for Tendou?
He didn’t even get to apologize.
“Oh, I see,” Ushijima nodded, the back of his eyes burning. “I must have forgotten. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” His teacher said with a smile, ruffling his hair. “Happens to the best of us.”
Ushijima went home with a heavy heart that day. He went straight to his room, flopped on to his bed and cried. He cried and he cried and he cried. And he didn’t stop crying till his tear ducts were squeezed of all the tears it had.
Sniffling, he reached into his bag and pulled out the small cardboard box. He had painted with a small picture of him and Tendou, in what appeared to be the campsite scenery. Inside were his teeth, the stone Ushijima gifted him, and a short written apology.
Of course, he was going to verbally apologize, but he also wanted to write it out and give it to him to let Tendou know of the sincerity of his apology.
Not that he would know.
Because now Tendou was gone, and now he’ll never get to give it to him.
Ushijima placed the box in the drawer by his bedside. Inside was the red pebble Tendou had gifted him. He took the pebble to his window, and stood there, staring up at the sky. Would Tendou be looking up at the same sky, right at this very moment?
Ushijima sure hoped so.
Bringing the pebble to his lips, Ushijima softly whispered, “I’m sorry Tendou,” before planting a tiny kiss on it. He looked back up at the sky again and hoped that somehow, by some stroke of magic, Tendou received his apology.
He stared at the little pebble, sighing.
It’s the same colour, you see. So when you see this, you’ll remember me!
“I’ll never forget you, Satori,” he whispered into the air. “And I hope you won’t forget me either. I promise I’ll find you and apologize, okay?”
“Wakatoshi!”
Ushijima turned his head to the door, still holding on to the red pebble.
“Wakatoshi!” His mum called again. “A friend is here to see you!”
“Okay!” He called back.
He walked back to his bedside table and carefully placed his red stone next to Tendou’s box.
And just before he left him room, holding on to the doorknob, he looked out the window again. He closed his eyes, whispered a little prayer, and bowed before closing the door to his room and walked downstairs to see who his ‘friend’ was.
“God, if you’re out there, please let it be Satori. I’ll be eternally grateful.”
- - - - -
Dear Satori,
I’m writing this letter to apologize for the way I acted on Friday. I’m very ashamed about the way I acted (or failed to act), and I’m incredibly sorry for having made you cry as a result of my actions. I should have spoken up and defended you. I don’t know what came over me at that moment, but whatever it was, resulted in you getting hurt, and I’m so sorry.
I just wanted to let you know that those people who hurt you are no longer my friends. I no longer wish to associate myself with them because of how they treated you, because you are a really nice and sweet person, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. I was ill-informed and fed rumours about who you were and the type of person you are, and I shouldn’t have blindly believed them.
And I don’t care about them, those things people say about you. If you will let me, I would like to know more about you. I would like to get to know Tendou Satori, about his likes and dislikes. When’s his birthday and what’s his favourite food. Does he have a favourite colour or a pet. I want to know everything there is about you, and most of all, I want to be your friend. I want to do things with you that friends do, like watch TV together, read books together, go outside and play together.
I understand if you do not wish to be my friend, but I still hope you will accept your baby teeth and this green pebble. I think it’s pretty funny how you lost your teeth to an apple, and yes, I think you should put your teeth in some clay and make something out of it.
And for the pebble, I also don’t want you to forget me, the way I won’t forget you.
I hope it’s not too late for me to still be your friend.
Your (maybe friend) classmate,
Ushijima Wakatoshi.