Chapter Text
Kili groaned when the ponies lurched to a stop outside, the flint of the arrow quivering in his stomach. "Steady," Thorin ordered, concern in his voice. He surveyed the inn they had stopped at. It was a huge building, light flooding the muddy street. Laughter and loud talking was audible.
He turned to the hobbit who was approaching the door. "Are you sure, Master Baggins? It is too crowded."
Bilbo nodded. "It is, but it is the only place where we will be able to get enough rooms on such short notice. Now, if you'd excuse me, I will talk to the owner."
Thorin reluctantly agreed. "But I will come also."
"Fine," Bilbo hesitated. "But let me do the talking."
The door was pushed open and the laughing got louder. Thorin gritted his teeth and followed the hobbit in.
Bilbo scanned the room, before seeing a hobbit behind the bar. "Sali!" He shouted. The barman looked up and grinned when he saw Bilbo, beckoning him closer.
"Bilbo! How wonderful to see you! And you have brought a friend as well. Will it be one room or two?" The hobbit raised an eyebrow, grinning cheekily.
Thorin missed the light blush on the hobbit's cheek. "Actually, I have brought fourteen friends, Sal, and we'll need," The hobbit paused counting on his fingers.
"Seven rooms," Thorin interrupted. "If you and Gandalf don't mind sharing?"
Bilbo nodded. "Seven rooms."
Sali's eyebrows shot up. "That will be a lot. How many nights?"
"At least three." Bilbo looked resigned.
"Well," Sali grinned. "You know there is one way you can pay."
Thorin was shocked. He wasn't suggesting Bilbo...
Bilbo nodded. "Fine. Thorin get the others. Sal, you still have my stuff?"
The hobbit nodded and Bilbo followed him behind the bar and into another room.
"We have rooms," Thorin told the others, you will have to share though. Thrakrun, you and Master Baggins, are you alright sharing?"
The wizard nodded. "And payment?"
Thorin suddenly felt awkward. "Master Baggins has, uh, offered his.." Thorin coughed. "Services."
The dwarrow looked shocked, some almost offended, but Gandalf suddenly smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Excellent, it has been a long while since I have seen one of Master Bilbo's shows."
"SHOWS?" Thorin could not believe his ears. Gandalf turned to him, suddenly looking a bit scornful.
"Indeed, Master Dwarf. Just because Bilbo is not as talented as you with weapons, does not mean he is devoid of talent. Now, hurry up, it will be starting soon."
Thorin and the dwarrow exchanged shocked and surprised glances, but followed the wizard in.
A huge table, consisting of two of the smaller tables, had been put together for the Company, all of whom were sipping ale and murmuring between themselves of their burglar. Only Gandalf seem composed. Thorin turned to survey the room, and to his horror saw a makeshift stage being put up on the other room. He resolved that he would retire to his room as soon as possible.
A waitress placed meals on the table, piping hot and smelling delicious. Thorin grabbed her arm before she left. "Uh, the hobbit... hobbit performing-"
"Ah, Bilbo, he'll be out shortly. Always a great show, the regulars definitely have their favourites of his." The waitress smiled at the dwarrow before returning to the bar. Thorin felt sick.
Sali stepped onto the stage, followed by a cloaked figure. The person wore a long leather cloak which brushed his bare ankles, and a weird outfit made of red, used leather. Despite his disgust, Thorin couldn't tear his eyes away.
"Ladies and gents!" Sali shouted above the din. "We have a treat for you tonight! Bilbo Baggins has returned."
There was a loud cheer all around the pub as Bilbo lowered his hood, his hair catching the light and seemingly sparkling.
"Thrakrun, how can you-" Dwalin was cut off by the wizard's staff rapping his head.
"Shh!" The wizard glowered at them before returning his gaze to Bilbo. Thorin stood, disgusted, but the music started, loud and cheerful and bright. Then, Bilbo started singing.
~Hey! Ho! Ho! to the bottle I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe.~
Thorin practically fell back into his seat. Bilbo's voice was soft, clear but strong. He did not waver, his voice swooping as he jumped and kicked his feet together, dancing to the tune. The dwarrow gasped, and a couple started clapping like the crowd.
~Rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still be many miles to go,
Yet under a tall tree I will lie,
And let the clouds go sailing by.
Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,
And the stream that falls from hill to plain...~
Bilbo drew out the last note, his voice swooping.
~Better than rain or rippling brook,
Is a mug of beer inside this Took!~
The crowd joined in on the last line, and the music came to an end on the hobbit's last note. The crowd roared their approval, raising the tankards. Thorin turned to his Company, who were all grinning, looking relieved.
"He's good," Dwalin shouted above the cheers to the Company's agreement.
Music started again as Thorin watched his- their burglar.
Bilbo was out of breath a few songs later. He watched the Company as they laughed and clapped along to the music- all except Thorin, who had not taken his eyes off him since the end of the first song. Although Thorin did not look upset, as far as Bilbo could tell, his face was unreadable. A voice at his feet started him.
"Time for one more song, eh, Bilbo?" Sali asked.
Bilbo grinned. "Let's ask the audience!"
Thorin watched as the hobbit suddenly grinned before straightening, mirth twinkling in his eyes.
"Any last requests?" The hobbit asked the crowd.
Several songs were requested, when one man shouted. "The Dancing one!" This was met by many cheers, and Bilbo smiled knowingly.
~Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da~
The crowd joined in.
~Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da~
Thorin started humming along, his foot tapping the floor as the crowd were once again silent.
~Pull up, skrrt-skrrt on your body
Performin' just like my 'Rari
You're too fine, need a ticket
I bet you taste expensive
Pouring up, up, up by the liter
If you keepin' up you's a keeper
Tequila and vodka
Girl, you might be a problem~
Bilbo's voice was still strong despite an evening of singing, and Thorin felt himself being drawn in to the hobbit's hazel eyes.
~Run away, run away, run away, run away
I know that I should
But my heart wanna stay, wanna stay, wanna stay, wanna stay now
You can see it in my eyes that I wanna take you down right now if I could
So I hope you know what I mean when I say~
As the last note was held, Bilbo met Thorin's eyes, and winked. Thorin's cheeks heated. The crowd seemed to hold it's breath as the chorus approached.
~Let me take you dancing
Two-step to the bedroom
We don't need no dance floor
Let me see your best move~
Thorin's cheeks got even hotter as the hobbit sang loudly, his feet moving quickly in a fun dance.
~Anything could happen
Ever since I met you
No need to imagine
Baby, all I'm asking
Is let me take you dancing~
Bilbo jumped down from his stage, clapping his hands as the crowd surged with cheers.
~Like da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da~
As Bilbo moved around, the crowd joined in, including the Company, even Thorin.
~Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da~
Bilbo jumped up onto the bar using a stool as a stepping stone as he launched into the next verse, careful to avoid any tankards of plates. Last time Sali had not been at all happy last time. He was surprised to hear the dwarrow singing, and could pick out Thorin's deep voice as well.
~Pull up, skrt-skrt on your body
It's just us two in this party
That Louis, that Prada looks so much better off ya
Turn me up, up, up, be my waitress
Know we not in love so let's make it
Tequila and vodka
Girl, you might be a problem
Run away, run away, run away, run away
I know that I should (know that I should)~
The crowd echoed.
~But my heart wanna stay, wanna stay, wanna stay, wanna stay now
You can see it in my eyes that I wanna take you down right now if I could
So I hope you know what I mean when I say.~
Bilbo hopped off the bar and walked round the room, singing as loud as he could.
~Let me take you dancing
Two-step to the bedroom
We don't need no dance floor
Let me see your best move
Anything could happen
Ever since I met you
No need to imagine
Baby, all I'm asking
Is let me take you dancing
Like da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da~
Bilbo passed the dwarrow, grinning widely, and nearly faltered when he caught Thorin's heated gaze, but twirled neatly and forced himself to move on.
~Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Let me take you dancing
Two-step to the bedroom
We don't need no dance floor
Let me see your best move
Anything could happen
Ever since I met you
No need to imagine
Baby, all I'm asking
Is let me take you dancing~
Bilbo approached the centre table, all eyes on him as the music stopped.
~Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da~
He leapt onto the table and spun on his toe, his voice ringing through the room as the music restarted with full gusto.
~Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da!~
Bilbo finished, his hands thrust in the air as the room shouted, clapping and cheering. He jumped down, high-fived Sali and retired to his room.
The next day Thorin woke early and went downstairs and asked for food. The waitress, a new one, raised an eyebrow. "Early birds today."
Thorin raised an eyebrow, courteous enough to pretend interest.
"A young hobbit fellow, inquiring about healers." The waitress told him. "Said he had a friend, dwarf, it was, who was suffering from an.. arrow wound, I believe. Will you be wanting anything else?"
Thorin shook his head before standing, bowing his head in thanks and exiting the inn. He wandered the streets, somewhat aimlessly, before he heard a familiar voice.
Bilbo glared at the two men who had cornered him in an alley. The thinner one had also produced a knife, which was admittedly, not ideal.
"Just give us your money, and you can go," the thicker, more muscled one said menacingly.
Bilbo let his hand slip to the throwing knife concealed on his back, tucked under his belt. He had several on his person and gritted his teeth, feet spread slightly.
"As if I would give scum like you my money," he threw his knife, satisfied as it pierced the hand holding the knife, making the man scream and drop the knife. The larger man lunged for him and Bilbo rolled between the oaf's legs, withdrawing another dagger.