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Renjun is awakened by the morning sunlight peeking through the curtains, small whimpers escaping his lips as he stretches his arms. His gaze settles on his boyfriend— fiance, his mind corrects—and a smile finds its way to his lips as he sees the ring. Johnny is bigger than him in built, and is much taller than him as well, and while his six-foot-something height may be intimidating to some, Johnny is the perfect epitome of the words gentle giant .
Johnny, with his shoulder length blonde hair and perfect, cupid’s bow lips, was snoring away in dreamland, hair in disarray on the pillow. Johnny, in his large frame that’s always warm, is clad in an old, overused shirt with its sleeves cut off, as well as loose basketball shorts—is the complete opposite of Renjun who’s wearing a sweater and sweatpants to combat the cold spring air.
He burrows closer to Johnny, fixing the blanket over himself, and Johnny, even in his sleep, pulls him closer. It’s perfect, Renjun thinks, how warm it is in Johnny’s embrace, and how his days are immediately looking better waking up to the man he loves. Closing his eyes, he lets sleep overtake his senses once again, looking forward to waking up with the same light feeling of being in love and being loved.
--
When Renjun wakes up again, he doesn’t feel Johnny’s warmth behind him, feeling the cool, crisp air of spring blowing through the opened windows. A quick glance on his phone tells him that it’s half past 10 in the morning, and despite feeling cozy in the cocoon of his blanket, he gets up to freshen up.
Johnny just finished making the last piece of pancake when he steps into their kitchen, and he’s immediately greeted by the older’s wide smile. Their place smells of tea and coffee and melted butter, and he can’t help but imagine he’s in those places he’s read in books and watched in movies—a small house in the prairie, cozy fireplace, eating homemade bread.
“Good morning, babe,” Johnny places a quick peck on his lips. “Slept good?”
Renjun nods in reply, taking the coffee pot to the table along with the sugar. Pulling one drawer open, he ponders for a moment, thinking what tea to take for that morning. He settles for the loose leaf red tea, a Japanese blend gifted by their friend Yuta, one of his many favorites as he loves the mildly sour fruity taste.
“I think the cold woke me up,” he giggles as he adds a teaspoon of sugar to Johnny’s mug of coffee, stirring it mindlessly before pushing the ceramic closer to his fiance’s plate. “My personal heater wasn’t around, I think I may have to ask for a refund.”
Johnny snorts, placing two pancakes on Renjun’s plate and drizzling them with honey. “No refunds, baby. And besides, I needed to make food, or you’ll be turning into a whiny brat demanding for some.”
“Excuse me?” Renjun places a hand over his heart dramatically. “I’m not a brat!”
“It’s okay,” Johnny winks, showing off the ring on his finger. “Even if you’re a brat, I still love you. That’s why I agreed to marry you, didn’t I?”
Renjun smiles shyly, eating a small piece of pancake, thinking back to the day prior.
__
Renjun has had the ring for three months now. When he bought it, he asked for a custom ring. It’s black in color, as opposed to the usual silver or gold bands that the staff from the shop initially offered. He had the Aquarius constellation engraved on, encrusting the dots with garnet stones.
When he first relayed his image of the design, he considered backing out and opting for the simple band, thinking how ridiculous his request is, but the shop made it happen, coordinating with Renjun with the sizes and colors of the stone and such. It took them a whole month of creating the ring. When he was informed that the ring was ready, Renjun took a day off of work to go to the shop himself, and when he saw it, he was smiling as much as he was crying, as everything that he envisioned was there in the flesh.
Looking back, Renjun was twenty-two when they first met, Johnny was twenty-seven. They started dating after a year, and at present, they are in their fourth year. Their friends always thought that Johnny would be the one proposing. Renjun considered the thought too, and he’s sure that he will say yes once Johnny pops the question.
Perhaps it is the romantic in him that made him imagine candlelight dinners and a string quartet, maybe some rose petals on the floor. Johnny would bend on one knee and ask him, he’ll say yes and they will hug and kiss, Johnny puts the ring on him, and they will kiss again. Maybe there will be some fireworks in the background.
It doesn't happen that way.
-
One of the things loved doing with Johnny is shaving.
The scene happens at least every other week, sometimes twice. As much as Renun thinks stubbled Johnny looks absolutely hot, his boyfriend likes to tease him by rubbing his prickly chin over Renjun’s cheeks.
“You’re stabbing me!” Renjun would cry when Johnny has him trapped in his arms, showering him with affection. “You’re not a cat.”
“I can be one,” Johnny would reply, kissing him once again. “Meow.”
Renjun would be sitting on the countertop of their bathroom, and Johnny would be standing between his parted legs. Renjun would be putting the shaving cream on Johnny, massaging his chin and cheeks. Johnny would often steal kisses and Renjun would lather too much of the foam and tease Johnny as Santa Claus, and the other would steal more kisses from him, transferring some of the cream onto Renjun’s face.
It ends up with Renjun in deep concentration as he glides the blade over Johnny’s chin, threatening to hit his boyfriend when the other would do so much as move a single centimeter. Once they’re done, Johnny would insist that he can at least put the aftershave on himself, but Renjun would simply steal the bottle from him, putting on a generous amount on his palm and massaging Johnny’s chin.
Renjun’s nose would linger a few seconds longer, inhaling the scent of the aftershave combined with Johnny’s own, before placing small kisses along the expanse of his jaw.
It’s the little things.
-
He thought about how much he wanted to marry Johnny when they were doing their groceries and Johnny wordlessly put three boxes of tea in their cart, in different flavors but in Renjun’s favorite brand. He thought about wanting to marry Johnny when Johnny held him as he cried when his parents called him to say that their family dog has to rest, driving them seven hours to Renjun’s hometown without complaint.
He thought about wanting to marry Johnny when Johnny woke him up at three in the morning, wanting to go to the sea and watch the sunrise. He thought about wanting to marry Johnny when Johnny cried after having a phone call with his parents who lived abroad, and how he misses them terribly. He thought about wanting to marry Johnny when Johnny was being a big baby after getting a fever, demanding to be fed Renjun’s soup while hugging his stuffed whale named Will.
He thought about marrying Johnny, and Johnny doesn’t have to be the one proposing.
He also imagined how his proposal would be. It has to be perfect, of course. He thought about proposing the way he wanted to be proposed to, perhaps in their suits as well. He also considered asking their friends for help for some sort of a grand proposal, but immediately rejected the idea.
And then last night, while they were having a marathon of Ghibli films, Renjun proposed.
--
They sat on the sofa—at least, Renjun is, while Johnny is resting his head on Renjun’s lap. Renjun combed his fingers through Johnny’s blonde locks, massaging his scalp as they had their eyes trained on the laptop propped on the coffee table.
“Back when I was younger, I really liked The Baron,” Johnny tells him, referring to the protagonist of The Cat Returns . “That was in Whisper of the Heart . I used to think that the story was quite sad, how Seiji’s grandpa lost his love and that The Baron never got to reunite with his partner.”
“Do you think The Cat Returns gives justice to his lost love?” Renjun asks. “Your hair is getting longer and longer. Can I braid it?”
Johnny slides off the couch to sit on the floor so that Renjun could do his hair. Humming, he replies, “I guess so. The Baron’s partner—the statue—we don’t have any idea about it, just that they never got to meet again. It’s sad, yes, but it’s a good thing that The Baron let himself heal. He found happiness in his own way.”
Renjun nods, despite knowing that Johnny can’t see him. “I think so too.” he focuses on Johnny’s instead, only turning to look at the film every few seconds or so.
Carding his fingers through Johnny’s hair, a smile graces his lips as Johnny lets out an appreciative hum. His deft fingers skillfully separated the hair into sections, starting on a French braid. No, Johnny’s hair was not smooth and silky, by any means. They were rough to the touch, had knots and tangles, quite dry from numerous times of being bleached, but Renjun can’t deny that he loved running his fingers through Johnny’s hair, loves massaging his scalp, and loves hearing the small hums of relief Johnny makes when he does those things. He finishes braiding Johnny’s hair into a half updo, securing the end with a ponytail.
“How’s it? Do I look good?” When Johnny turns to him with a smile to ask that simple question, Renjun realizes that he wants to spend every waking moment with him. He wants to laugh with Johnny, watch films with Johnny, take photos with Johnny. He wants to cry with Johnny over the most heartbreaking things and over the most mundane things.
He wants to marry Johnny.
“Johnny,” Renjun gulps. “Will you marry me?”
Johnny laughs, almost shyly, and there’s no denying the pink that’s dusting his cheeks, even through the dim light of their living room.
“That good, huh?”
It’s not how Renjun planned for things to go, but he decided to just wing it.
“I’m serious. Baby, Johnny Suh, will you marry me?”
Maybe Johnny heard his voice quivering, maybe he noticed Renjun’s hands shaking, because he gave them a squeeze that’s meant to be reassuring, lips forming the most beautiful smile as he always does.
“I’ll marry you,” he replies. “I’ll marry you right this moment if you wish to. If you ask me again tomorrow, next week or next month, or fifty years from now, my answer would still be the same. I’ll marry you, Renjun.”
Indeed, there was no need for grand gestures like candlelight dinners or fireworks in the background, but Renjun was happy. The movie was long forgotten, and Renjun dashes to the bedroom without another word, surprising Johnny. When he returns, he holds a thick roll of bundled up socks, unrolling them with still shaking hands as he takes a seat back down on the couch. There’s a small box inside the sock—Renjun’s favorite socks with fox print, Johnny notes—which the younger held carefully.
Opening the black velvet box, the ring is illuminated only by the light coming from the laptop. Biting his lower lip, Renjun shakily slips the ring on Johnny’s ring finger, bursting into tears when Johnny took his hands in his to kiss them.
“I love you, baby,” Johnny whispers. “And I love the ring.”
That night, as they lay on the bed and Renjun is fast asleep snuggling close to Johnny’s chest, Johnny took the time to admire the ring. It’s perfect for him, not too thick or chunky on his finger. The engraved constellation is a great touch, and the garnet gems are perfect, glimmering under the dimmed light of their moon-shaped night light. Everything’s perfect, Johnny thinks, matching Renjun’s breathing before drifting off to sleep.
--
Just as Renjun finishes the last bite of his pancakes, Johnny slides over a box of tea to him, which he took with a questioning gaze. It’s mint tea, based on the packaging, and it’s obvious that it has been opened already.
“Open it,” Johnny gestures at the box.
As Renjun opens it, he sees some words written on the flap:
I know you like mint tea
I know we’re mint to be
So will you spend your eterni-tea with me?
Suddenly, Johnny was kneeling in front of him, taking the box, turning it over and catching the ring in his palm. He offers the ring to Renjun, asking him the question. “Will you marry me?”
Not being able to find the words, Renjun nods instead. And Johnny gives him a shy and relieved smile, slipping the ring on to his shaking hand. It’s silver in color, adorned by two small aquamarine stones on either side of a diamond. The band is slimmer than Johnny’s ring, but it looks perfect on his dainty finger.
“I was surprised when you proposed to me,” Johnny tells him, still kneeling in front of him. “I also had the ring, and I was waiting—planning—for the right moment. Maybe at the sea when we’re watching the sunrise or sunset, maybe at the restaurant where we had our first date. And then last night, when you proposed, it was too overwhelming. My heart was beating fast, I was thinking a lot of things, but the thought that occurred to me the most was that I wanted to marry you.”
Hearing Johnny’s words, Renjun realized perfect moments don’t have to be grand gestures. Johnny was just as nervous as he is, but his heart warms at the thought of Johnny thinking of a future with him, despite the other already agreeing to marry him last night.
Yesterday morning was a perfect moment, when Johnny clinked his mug of coffee with Renjun’s mug of tea, with the words, clink, clink, bitch. Last night was a perfect moment, when Johnny said yes to him. Right now is a perfect moment, with Johnny proposing to him through tea puns.
Johnny is Renjun’s perfect moment.