Work Text:
JUNGKOOK'S FOOLPROOF FIVE-STEP PLAN TO RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET WITH SEOKJIN HYUNG
written by: jeon jungkook
edited by: all the other hyungs
ABSTRACT:
seokjin hyung i just want to feel up your sexy shoulders will you let me feel up your sexy shoulders :(
jungkook you're being gross - pjm
jimin-ssi can you please go make out with ur bf and leave me alone - jjk
yeah jimin-ah your bf is waiting :/ - myg
OBJECTIVE:
(refer to title)
MATERIALS REQUIRED:
- me
- my charisma
- my good looks
- jin hyung <3
- all the other hyungs for moral support [cheering for you!! :D - kth]
STEP 1: flower flower flower
what to do:
- get flowers from that store namjoon hyung was telling me about [the ones he got me were so pretty, thank u joonie ^_^ - jhs]
- go to hyung's house for thursday night dinner (don't forget to wear the perfume he gave me for my birthday last year!!!)
- give him flowers
- make him swoon
notes: since when was jin hyung allergic to lilies?!?!? unsuccessful :(
(update: found a rose outside my door. hyung felt bad that i was sulking T-T i don't deserve him at all)
STEP 2: the way to a man's heart is through his stomach
what to do:
- do groceries [get hyung's favourite meat - myg]
- clean kitchen — v important!!!
- get jajangmyeon recipe from eomma
- lady and the tramp spaghetti scene??
notes: burnt the food, but i swear it was hyung's fault. he challenged me to beat him in mario kart. why does he do that when he knows i'm always going to win! maybe it was for the best though, it turns out that i'd mixed up the salt and sugar (ToT). we ordered pizza though and watched 'spirited away.' hyung let me cuddle him, even though he complained about his arm falling asleep ^.^
STEP 3: jealousy is a green-eyed monster but it is also really hot
what to do:
- find someone to flirt with (namjoon hyung..?) [please no, i have a boyfriend. - knj] [aah, it's okay joon-ah!! sacrifices must be made for the greater good >.< i give you full permission to flirt with my boyfriend, jungkookie!! - jhs]
- flirt with them in front of jin hyung
- do u think hyung's alpha side will come out :o
notes:
kook went to go pick jin hyung up from his class because he's gross like that, and (≧▽≦) , this guy came to ask hyung out and kook's face...LMAO i am so happy i decided to take the long route to the library - kth
HYUNG, YOU'RE SO MEAN >:( - jjk
notes: anyway so moving on
STEP 4: hold his hand(?)
what to do:
- ngl i'm not sure what this will accomplish, it was yoongi hyung's idea [and it worked on me ok!! don't be mean!! - pjm]
- we already hold hands all the time?
- jin hyung prettiest hands <3
notes: we accidentally fell asleep holding hands. [that's literally like fourth base?? - myg] [hyung what the fuck - knj]
STEP 5: confess T-T
what to do:
- tell him you like him
- AAAHHHH don't be a coward
- don't back out of it, don't do it
- i'm watching you
- [fighting!! you can do this!! - hyungs]
notes: "of course, i love you too, JK! you're my favourite dongsaeng."
OBSERVATIONS:
i don't think hyung likes me back. it's okay though! i'm happy to have him as a friend at least :) [jungkookie, please pick up our calls]
STEP 5+1: ?????????????????????????
what to do:
- APPARENTLY NOTHING????????
notes: HYUNG INTRODUCED ME TO HIS BROTHER AS HIS BOYFRIEND?? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?? SOS!!!!! HE KISSED ME??!?!!!??!?!!!?!!?!?!!?!? HE TASTES LIKE EVERYTHING GOOD IN THIS UNIVERSE, I'M GOING TO PASS OUT. [aw koo, you taste like onions though, so please brush your teeth :* hyung is waiting~ - ksj]
CONCLUSION:
we can't ride off into the sunset because hyung actually has a class that time :'(, but success!!!!!!
AFTERWORD:
jungkook-ah,
you make hyung so happy, my favourite bunny boy. this plan only gets an 8/10 though. mine was better, much more efficient. just one step.
come home quick, my sexy shoulder is about to become a cold shoulder.
yours forever,
ksj