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The crescent moon hung high up in the sky, overlooking the empty plains before the Banyue kingdom. It was late at night, sometime past midnight, so most people were asleep, and even the soldiers at the front gate were drifting off to the world of dreams. This made it so much easier for Ban Yue to slip out unnoticed.
Yong’an’s camp was situated a few kilometers away from the front gate of the kingdom, a distance she could easily cover within an hour, but for whatever reason Pei Su had asked to meet her somewhere in between that night. She didn’t mind - anywhere was fine for her as long as she got away from Banyue and could spend time with him.
As she was leaving her home behind, a feeling of guilt nudged at her heart. What she was doing now was called treason, and she could be executed for it. The people trusted her - Ke Mo trusted her - and she was betraying all of their trust.
But did they deserve her full loyalty after all those years of bullying? If she were to think back to it, only Pei Su took care of her when she was younger. He was the one that stood up for her when she was getting beat up, and he was the one that played with her when no one else would. It was him and General Hua that were her family, but now General Hua was...
Ban Yue sighed and pulled her cloak tighter around her. She had no idea where she was meant to go. Pei Su only told her to go in the direction of his army’s camp, and she’ll notice him along the road for sure. The desert was cold at night without the light of the sun to heat up the sand and the wind was sending chills through her bones, so she really hoped that wherever their meeting spot was, it would have a fire to warm them up.
Far ahead, where land met the sky, she could see the stars very clearly. Ban Yue was grateful for the clear night sky for illuminating her path. It didn’t bring her the warmth she needed, but it was enough to guide her, and sometimes that’s all that matters.
She had been walking for about half an hour when another light started to show itself from behind a boulder. Someone seemed to be in front of the fire, because she spotted a silhouette on the ground. Pei Su.
She hurried towards the fire, clutching at her cloak so it wouldn’t be blown away. The sand was getting in her shoes and her feet were sinking in while running, but she didn’t care. When she got to the made-up camp, she first peeked from behind the big rock, trying to be as silent as possible. Pei Su was sitting on a small chair next to the fire, head down, and he was playing with his fingers, somewhat lost in thought. A big smile bloomed on Ban Yue’s face as she rounded the boulder, hoping that Pei Su would return her enthusiasm when he saw her, but instead she was baffled to see his grim expression. Ban Yue’s own smile faded as he raised his eyes to meet hers.
“You’re here,” he simply said.
“Mn,” she answered, looking for a place to sit. He noticed her gaze and pulled another chair in front of his, inviting her to sit. “Did you set up this place only for a meeting? You have a lot of stuff here, even chairs and a tent -” she pointed at the makeshift tent above a small table set a bit further away from them, “it seems too much.”
He shook his head. “It’s an observation point. We leave two soldiers stationed here so they can report things easier. See if anyone goes into or out of Banyue. I sent them back to the camp tonight.”
Ban Yue stared at him, and he raised his eyebrows. “What?”
“So every time I came to see you…”
“They knew.”
She pursed her lips, but didn’t say anything else. They stood in silence for a while, Ban Yue with her hands neatly resting on her lap, Pei Su still fiddling with his own. Suddenly, he got up, went to the table and poured two cups of what appeared to be tea. It still looked warm, so he must have boiled it right before she came. He returned to their seats and offered one of the cups to her. She took it and muttered a thank you before taking a sip.
At last, Pei Su decided to speak first.
“I need your help to win this war.”
Ban Yue looked at him over the brim of her cup. “You already have my help.” She had been giving him intelligence from within the palace and even from things she overheard from Ke Mo for over six months. At this point, she was convinced there was a possibility that Pei Su knew more about military affairs in Banyue than the king himself.
“Yes, and I’m very thankful for that,” he lowered the cup from his lips and looked her straight in the eyes, more determined than she has ever seen him, “but I need more this time. It is the last thing I’m asking of you, and maybe the most important.”
“If it is in my powers, you know I’ll do it-”
“I need you to open the gates for me.”
She stopped breathing in that moment. Pei Su was still looking at her, assessing her reaction to his words. She blinked once, twice, but her brain was empty, her mouth could not form any words.
Open the gates? What she had been doing all this time was treason, but this…
This would send her people straight into the hands of the Yong’an soldiers to be butchered. Women, children, old people… would any of them survive if she did open the gates? This wasn’t about sabotaging the army, about making them lose the war. That way, they would still have a chance at keeping their lives. However, by letting the enemy into the city, she would be letting death itself in, free to claim whatever lives it liked.
She felt the need to move, to force her lungs to breathe again. She got up from her chair and walked to the table, putting on a show of refilling her cup with tea, even if she couldn’t stomach even the idea of another sip.
Behind her, Ban Yue heard Pei Su getting up, his steps leading him to where she was. He put down his own cup still filled with tea and put his hand on top of her trembling one.
“Ban Yue, listen to me,” he started, voice calm and steady, and she realized this wasn’t her childhood friend talking to her, but General Pei Su of Yong’an. He was talking to her as if she was a soldier that he needed to persuade to get on the battlefield. “What do you have to lose in this? What have those people ever done for you? They never welcomed you. They never saw you as one of them, even though your mother was from Banyue herself. They belittled you, and always turned you down, and it was only when they started to fear you that they finally showed an ounce of respect-”
She pushed him off and walked away from him. Tears stung at her eyes, but she didn’t let herself cry.
It was true. Why was she attached to those people? They weren’t attached to her. Even as Imperial Preceptor, people still threw ugly glances at her, showing disapproval. If it wouldn’t have been for Ke Mo, she wouldn’t even be where she was. It was thanks to the trust he had put in her that she managed to climb so high up.
Ke Mo… she had long since betrayed him, hadn’t she?
She shut her eyes tight. Deep inside her heart, there still was a hatred for the Banyue people. She never got rid of it, and she probably never would. And yet… she didn’t have a hatred for people. She didn’t want innocents to be murdered in cold blood.
“I’m not a murderer, Pei Su.”
He sighed and leaned against the table. “No one said you are.”
“If I open the gates, I will become one.” She turned around to face him. “It may be your soldiers who will deal each killing blow, but my hands will be stained with blood.”
Pei Su studied her for what felt like an eternity, from her feet to the top of her head. She was dressed in simple robes, her long hair braided and her bangs ruffled from the hood of her cloak, no jewelry adorning her body in any place. She was as plain as she could be.
She had no idea what he was looking for, but after he was done with his inspection, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, looking distressed. “Well,” he concluded, “if you don’t want to, I can’t force you. But-”
“No, it's not that. I do want to.” His gaze snapped back to her, shock covering his face. “Deep inside, I want to open the gates. I do want them to suffer, but my rationality tells me this is not fair-”
“All is fair in war.”
“Innocent lives will be lost.”
“Innocent lives are lost every day.”
Ban Yue didn’t say anything else, and Pei Su took it as a sign of her starting to give in. Carefully, he took a step towards her, and when she didn’t react in any way, he took another one, until he stood in front of her. He was so much taller, so she had to crane her neck back to look him in the eyes.
“If you open the gates, the war is over. One way or another, people would still die. Wars aren’t won without deaths. It just so happens that this time, the people of Banyue are the ones that need to suffer for this war to end.”
Opening the gates… such a simple way to end a war.
She had betrayed them a long time ago, what was one more act of treason?
How much heavier would this weigh in comparison to what they did to her?
She took a deep breath and spoke, the words leaving painful trails inside of her as each made its way out: “Fine, I will open the gates.”
The smile that spread across Pei Su’s face was so bright, it could rival the sun. It even reached his eyes, making them puff up, giving him a childish air. Looking at him like this, she allowed herself to smile, too.
He raised his hand and patted her head affectionately, just the way he did when they were children. “Good girl,” he said. Then, he grabbed her into a tight hug, resting his head on top of hers. “I promise you, Ban Yue, after this war is over, I’ll take you back to Yong’an with me and I’ll make sure no one ever dares disrespect you again.”
A small sound of surprise left her mouth at his words. That seemed… like a beautiful dream. To be respected, not feared. But the question was, would she be accepted? Would she finally find a place where she truly fit in? Where she didn't have to use her scorpion snakes to prove herself, or her spiritual powers? Where she could simply be like any other girl? Was that truly possible?
With her head nuzzled against his chest, Ban Yue allowed a single tear to roll off of her cheek.
They spent a few minutes like that, hugging each other, and then they went back to their seats next to the fire. For the next hour, they made the plan they needed for tomorrow, when the attack would take place, and when Ban Yue would open the gates. After everything was settled, she was about to set off to go back to the city, while Pei Su would spend the rest of the night at the little camp, and he’d go back to the base in the morning.
“You’ll be fine on your own, right?” he asked.
“Yes, like always. Don’t worry about me.”
“Alright, then. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Take care.”
She smiled reassuringly at him, then turned around and made to walk away, but before she could take any steps, she found herself turning back around and calling her old friend.
“Pei Su- gege- I-” he raised his head to look at her just as her hands cupped his cheeks and she placed a chaste kiss on his lips, light as a feather and quick as lightning. “In case something goes wrong tomorrow, I just wanted to do that. “
He blinked at her, confused, but in the end smiled. “Nothing will go wrong. I’ll consider this a ‘good luck’ charm, so obviously nothing can go wrong. Now be off, the sun will be up soon, and people will get suspicious if they don’t find you.” He took her hand in his and squeezed it once. “Go.”
Ban Yue left him while smiling, the smile still plastered on her face when she entered her chambers back at the palace in Banyue.
The following night, Pei Su did win the war, and Banyue was indeed wiped off the surface of the Earth. However, the difference from the plan they made was that Pei Su ascended as a Martial God to the Heavenly Realm, while Ban Yue was trapped as a ghost in the empty, dead city, not getting the happy ending she so badly had wished for, with only the stars above her head for company and no warm fire to warm her heart.