Archive of Our Own ^beta

Shouto met Katsuki on an unassuming summer's day, when the clouds parted to make way for the sun so that it's rays could freely beat down on the ground. They were both young, then; one a human child and the other still a fledgling of infinite time.

The child wandered through the forest, climbing over fallen logs and pushing away spindly branches that scraped his small fingers in the process. The sun wasn't as visible around these parts. Here there were large trees with leaves large enough to provide coverings from its powerful rays but he made his way through the shadows easily.

It was a daily routine after all, to come to these woods after school when the jeers got too much, hurtful words thrown around easily by the mouths of children not knowing the repercussions of the state of the one they bullied. He would come to these woods and have a small cry where no one could hear except-

It wasn't true was it?

His heterochromatic eyes saw things. Things with two, three, four faces, things with eyes on their feet, things with no body but a faceless head which screamed with no mouth. Things called youkai.

He still remembered his first encounter, a small mushroom that hopped to him eagerly and shook his hand. It was a harmless little thing, all smiles and green eyes. He went by Izuku and had little spots all over. Then, Shouto’s hand had been gripped by a stronger one, a hand not a hand but a claw that pressed deeper and deeper, saying: "I haven't had human for a long time~"

It was like getting introduced to the good and evil at the same time, and in a way, it mirrored the normal world. There was his mother, kind and loving but so, so tired, and his siblings who ran around freely and gave him hugs, and then there was his father, a mean old man smelling like ashes who always lectured him and raised a stern hand whenever Shouto didn't do something right. It was a stifling place, his house, made so because of one person he wished didn't exist-

"What are you doing up there?" Shouto cried out suddenly.

From the parts where the trees made way for light, he saw a boy around his age with large wings tacked on clumsily, sitting on a tree. It seemed like he couldn't hear the cry, so Shouto spoke up louder, a difficult thing with his soft voice.

"Hey!" He called out.

The boy turned around, and Shouto was mesmerized by the shock of spiky blond hair and red eyes he could see from the ground, piercing his soul.

"What d'ya want?!" The boy answered, frowning.

"What are you doing?" Shouto repeated, neck starting to hurt from the straining.

"None of your business!" The boy sneered, and turned away.

Well.

"Its dangerous!" Shouto said, because one drop and he was sure there would be blood involved.

The boy turned around again, if only to make a mean face (despite its resemblance to the bullies, it was more nonchalant somehow) and say: "are you scared?"

If there was one thing Shouto wasn't, it was scared. From hairy gremlins to leering bloody eyes, climbing a tall tree wasn't the scariest thing he had encountered.

So he took it as invitation to climb and join the other, scampering up the tree surprisingly easily as it had many branches (as if a stairway to friendship).

"Hello," Shouto said, when he got to the solid branch the boy was sitting on.

"Tch," the boy looked away, but Shouto had gotten a glimpse of slightly impressed eyes.

Shouto got closer until they were about a meter apart and sat down, legs dangling in the air.

"What are you doing up here?" There was no reply, so he pressed on. "What's your name?"

The boy stilled.

"Names are powerful," the boy finally said, warily almost.

No human would say that, Shouto surmised. In school everyone had bounded their way to the front of the class, introducing themselves with smiles in their cruel eyes. He eyed the boy carefully. "Do you see them too?"

A pause.

"Sure," the boy eventually answered.

"Me too!" Shouto beamed, finally finding a hesitant solidarity with the strange boy. "My name is Shouto!"

"Shouto..." The boy repeated under his breath. He gazed out into the open, the height allowing him to gaze far, far away. He looked back at Shouto, who was still staring at him intently. A huffy breath. "You can call me Katsuki."

Shouto stuck out his hand eagerly, and he eyed Katsuki expectantly, pouting the longer it went unshook. Another huffy breath, but the other obliged, rough hand meeting his halfway. It was shockingly cold, but who was Shouto to judge, with his own weird thermoregulations?

"I haven't seen you here before," Shouto said, when their hands were now flat on the branch, legs kicking back and forth and faces to the breeze that tickled and swayed their hair.

"Maybe you weren't looking hard enough," Katsuki said with a smirk.

Shouto stuck out his tongue. "Nuh-uh! I come here everyday so I would know!"

"Why," Katsuki sniped. "Don't you have better things to do?"

"Not really," Shouto said. He had other things he had to do, certainly. Homework, for one was waiting on his table, going to be checked by his father precisely at nine in the evening. But that didn't mean he wanted to. Plus, there were still hours to go until then- sitting on a tree with Katsuki seemed like a much more pleasant time.

"You're so lame," Katsuki said.

"I'm not lame," Shouto refuted indignantly. "You're lame!"

Katsuki pulled a face. "I'm not the one with dyed candy cane hair!"

Shouto touched his hair out of instinct. "I was born like this. And you look like a porcupine!"

"Hah?!"

It felt different than when the other kids teased him. This felt more like banter, the back and forths coming so easily to Shouto he ended up giggling by the end of it; insults of peppermints and halfies and candy canes flying right past him. He reciprocated with Pomeranian and dandelion and angry little doggo, so all was well.

When it was time to go, Shouto bid an eager ‘see you tomorrow’ instead of a permanent farewell. His new friend responded with a grudging wave, not refuting it, and he beamed as he scampered down from the tree, heading home with a lightness in his heart never there before.

.

From then on, Shouto continued his daily trips to the forest, but instead of sitting by the pond, or hiding in a shrub from youkai, he sat on top of a branch with Katsuki, watching the sky with endless colours and shapes and possibilities.

"Don't you have a home to go to?" Katsuki asked one day, watching the dual-haired boy come sit on the branch again.

A home.... a house perhaps, but when Shouto thought about the quiet dinners, unsettling silences when he did his homework and his father's overbearing presence-

"I guess," he settled on saying. "Don't you?"

"Hm," Katsuki said. "I guess."

Shouto didn't pry but his mind was reeling with worst-case scenarios at the odd tone. Was Katsuki in a similar situation? Did he have enough to eat?

The reply bought a heavy feeling to the atmosphere, the lightest breeze feeling like miasma with the lingering presence of worry in Shouto's mind.

The next day Shouto bought up a bento box and some chopsticks. He gave it to Katsuki resolutely.

"I don't know what you like," Shouto said. "So I put everything I liked inside!"

If he could have it his way, it would be 100% soba, but when he told his sister, she had laughed and made it for him instead, overjoyed at the fact she could cook for his friend.

Instead there was a bit of soba, to which Shouto hoped his new friend would love as much as him, some dumplings and greens.

It was odd. When Katsuki received the chopsticks he frowned, adjusting them weirdly before clumsily picking up a dumpling.

Shouto giggled. "That's not how you hold them!"

He instructed Katsuki, who grumbled but managed to decently handle them after, and he ate the dumplings with a small smile, chewing noisily.

Shouto looked at his friend with imploring eyes, the question asked through the look. Katsuki made sure to savour each bite, further fueling Shouto's concerns (is he eating enough?) before closing the lid.

"Not bad," Katsuki grudgingly admitted, and Shouto beamed.

"Nee-san made it! She's a really good cook!" Shouto shared.

"Your parents don't cook?" Katsuki asked.

"Mama used to cook," Shouto pondered. "But now she stays in bed most of the time."

"My old hag always says she needs her beauty sleep," Katsuki grumbled. "But she doesn't sleep for the whole day."

"I think she's tired," Shouto said, fidgeting.

He got a indiscernible look from the blond. "And your old man? What's he doin'?"

"He's usually working. But he always checks my homework at night. I... I don't like him."

Katsuki remained quiet, as if allowing space for Shouto to continue the story. There was sure to be more behind the harsh sentiment than checking homework after all.

"He's mean," Shouto said. "And he yells a lot. And..."

He choked the words under his clenched fists, not wanting to talk about it anymore. He didn't want to discuss the blue and purple under his sleeves, nor the periods of rage his father underwent, breaking dishes in his wake. It seemed like Katsuki caught the gist anyway, own fists clenching.

"What a fucker!" Katsuki said angrily, and Shouto stared wide-eyed at the bad word Fuyumi would always chide their brothers for.

Shouto ended up giggling though, repeating the word again and again with Katsuki; the word lost in the air holding their secrets.

.

There was a house no one had dared to go into. Ghosts, they said, to which Shouto would agree. There were indeed vengeful spirits inside, bound to the house with curses reeling them in. Which made its particular mailbox – decrepit and old and abandoned – the perfect designation for his and Katsuki's letters.

It wasn't used much, only to indicate if they wouldn't be there a certain day, but Shouto checked it everyday nonetheless. He cherished all the letters; for even if they said Katsuki couldn’t make it a certain day, there was always the promise of tomorrow, and the next, and the next…

.

It was darker than usual when Shouto realized he should be getting home. He frowned in the dark, about to tell Katsuki he was leaving when-

"Shouto?" Fuyumi's voice. She held a flashlight and it shone on him in the dark. "Its dangerous up there! What are you doing there all alone?"

Shouto looked at Katsuki who looked away. "I'm not alone."

"Shouto," Touya's voice this time. "Get away from there."

He tugged on his friend's sleeve, eyes wide. "Why can't they see you?"

Katsuki had his lips pressed taut, eyes hesitant in a way Shouto had never seen them be before. The blond was always steely, or angry in a sort of way loud chihuahuas were. Hesitancy wasn't a usual look for him, nor was it one Shouto felt reassured by. His heart sunk, and he reached to tug on the sleeve again.

"Katsuki...?"

There was no... way.

Those wings, tacky and looking store-bought... They were just that, weren't they?

"Shouto?" Fuyumi sounded odd. "Who are you talking to?"

The flashlight moved towards Katsuki, illuminating his sharp features for all to see. Except, Shouto realized. Except for his siblings. His heart sunk, then spiked with a spark of sudden anger.

Katsuki's eyes widened, as if startled by the sudden display of anger from the usual timid boy, and his tiny hand reached out-

"No!" Shouto shrunk back. "You always do this! You pretend to be my friend and then you're a- a youkai!"

Katsuki clenched his fists, finding his nerve again. "What does that matter, hah?! What do you have against youkai?!"

Flashes of getting pushed into the ground, hiding in his closet, kids jeering 'you’re a freak-‘

"Because people hate me!"

"Then maybe they're the problem! Not you!" Katsuki breathed heavily. "Have you ever thought of that?"

Shouto held his hands to his face, shaking his head. He was definitely sniffling a bit, even though he could hear his father's voice reprimanding him already, 'crying is for the weak, Shouto. Stop those incessant tears!’

But he felt a hand on his shoulder, a familiar presence that warmed him despite the cold it actually emitted. "And I'm not pretending to be your friend, dummy. You think I'm that fake?"

Another head shake. He was pulled into a tentative embrace, something new for both of them, and Shouto leaned into his friend, somehow wanting to bawl louder at the kind action.

"This doesn't change anything," Katsuki said firmly.

(Not yet).

"Shouto!" Touya called out warningly, and said person startled as if remembering they had an audience.

Teetering on the edge of the branch, the startle was enough to send them both falling and careening off the edge.

The breeze, usually a slight caress now rushed passed his ears, a constant rush of wind as gravity pulled them down.

And those wings, usually withdrawn and closed now opened with gusto, as did Katsuki's arms to reach for Shouto's and they both wrapped around each other to steady the fall. It was another embrace, and he wished he could've enjoyed it under different circumstances (read: not falling to a painful injury) but at the moment, with the wings unsteadily beating to slow the fall, and the ground approaching, he thought, not like this.

Then-

It was an odd feeling, to be on the ground with Katsuki. It was always sitting on the precarious edge of the branch, feet free and hearts freer as the world was both miniscule and grand in front of them. Now, tangled up on the ground with those wings wrapped around them and Touya squashed by both of them, it felt surreal almost; a grounding thing... on the ground.

“Can you two brats get off me,” Touya complained, twiggy arms trying to push them off.

Shouto pettily wanted not to, just spite his older brother, but he did anyways, following Katsuki who got off immediately.

“You can see too,” Katsuki said with narrowed eyes.

Touya’s eyes were amused as he stared back. “Someone’s observant.”

“Someone’s a bit-“ Katsuki started.

“Whoa there,” Touya laughed. He glanced between the two boys. “This your friend, Shou?”

Shouto nodded, hesitant. His brother was acting so carefree, but he sensed the underlying tension, the steely grit to his eyes, the slight downcurve of his mouth. And Fuyumi was still there, looking confused but crestfallen at the same time. Did they all know?

“Well,” Touya continued, smile terse. “Youkai shouldn’t interact with humans.”

Katsuki’s mouth opened, but Shouto’s opened faster. “I don’t care! Katsuki is my friend, youkai or not!”

For emphasis he clung on to his friend’s arm, never wanting to let go.

“Father won’t be pleased,” Fuyumi whispered.

“What does Father have to do with this?“ Shouto asked, confused.

Touya sighed, and his eyes softened slightly. “Nothing. I guess its whatever.”

It was a sudden change of heart, and Shouto wondered what brought it on.

“And,” his eldest brother said. “Father doesn’t have to know.”

“What does-“

A finger to the lips; a secret, for now.

Well. As long as they could keep being friends, Shouto didn’t see the problem. It wasn’t like he was telling his father about his friends anyway.

“Your Father sucks,” Katsuki interjected.

Touya laughed again. “He sure does. Let’s go, Shouto.”

Shouto grudgingly let go of his friend’s arms and took Touya’s hand instead, tiny hand dwarfed in the slightly larger one. He used the other hand to wave Katsuki goodbye before letting his sister take his other hand.

“So you can’t see them, Nee-san?” Shouto asked, wedged in-between his two siblings comfortably as they walked back to their house.

She shook her head, pushing her glasses up. “No. I’ve heard stories though. They sound scary.”

“They’re not!” Shouto rushed to defend. “I mean, sometimes they are. But some are so friendly, Nee-san. They don’t hurt you, or make fun of you, or expect you to be someone you’re not.”

Overhead, his siblings shared a concerned glance.

“I see,” Fuyumi settled on saying. “Well then. I suppose I’m missing out, aren’t I?”

Shouto beamed and nodded, thinking of Izuku the cheerful mushroom and Katsuki, his bestest friend in the whole, wide world.

.

Homework done for the day, Shouto put it on the corner of his desk to be checked over later. He hadn't seen Katsuki today, having skipped going to the forest in lieu of catching up with homework that had built up. Now that it was done though.... He wondered if his friend was still on the tree or with his family.

Deciding he wanted a snack, Shouto wandered silently to the kitchen, but there was no need to silence his footfalls. His mother was there on the phone – not his father – one hand shaking as she held the phone, the other preparing some tea.

"-its getting harder each day," his mother voiced, and he stood by the doorway, unseen and listening hesitantly. "There's something wrong, something so, so wrong-"

It was dark in the kitchen, save for a small light above the stove illuminating his mother. Her hands were trembling as she prepared some tea and talked quietly to her mother. Her voice was always soft, but nowadays even softer, as if a faint wisp hesitant to speak, and he struggled to hear her words, only catching the tailwinds.

"-want to get out," his mother voiced. "This isn't the man I married anymore. Something... Something is deeply wrong-"

Shouto moved forward at the same time she gripped the kettle in her hands, about to pour it into a cup. He ran in for a hug, wanting to say don't go Mama, I love you, but when he tugged on her sleeve she startled and shrieked, a loud ugly sound ripping from her vocal chords, louder than anything he heard from her in a long time.

The kettle's whistle started to die down, but it would ring in his ears for a long time after- when the boiling water splashed on his left eye and ached and hurt and burned.

He got the hug he wanted, but that desire was long gone by now, unprocessed as pain filtered in and he screeched and clutched his eye that burned while his mother whispered apologies with wide, unstable eyes.

The ambulance came shortly, wails echoing and matching the screams inside the house, and before things faded, he briefly wondered if Katsuki, looking over all, would notice.

.

There was no sixth spot at the table anymore. The worn-out chair had been thrown in the basement by a furious Enji, who had been in a foul mood ever since the incident had occurred.

Something is deeply wrong. A small part of him knew the words weren't angled towards him. But as time grew on, he fixated on the negative parts, could only remember those words and lamented, focusing them on himself.

Shouto wondered, sitting beside his family and feeling like the loneliest soul, if his siblings hated him now. In the midst of their well-wishes and hugs and reassurances, did they think him deeply wrong, too?

Did they want to run away and leave him behind, too?

Glancing at the empty spot, glaringly obvious as his mother was usually seated beside him, dolefully, he thought, I think I would leave me too.

.

There were several letters in the mailbox when Shouto eventually checked it after coming out of the hospital. One was dated the day before the kettle incident.

[Shou, where are you? I have a bad feeling. Make sure to meet me today, ok? Not like I care or anything!]

Shouto grasped the letter, then closed the mailbox on others that littered the usually empty insides. He didn't want to acknowledge it, didn't want the mental added hurt on top of the physical (although the pangs his heart felt certainly felt more physical). It hurt to not see Katsuki, but Shouto knew it would hurt far more at the disgust on the other’s face at the sight of his grotesque scar.

.

Shouto didn't go to the forest for a long time.

The place of reprieve had become a forest where his heart filled with dread at the thought of going to again. Or perhaps, it was the thought of seeing Katsuki again, his one friend who wouldn't be his friend anymore once seeing the ghastly scar.

The bandages had come off finally, but Shouto didn't know which looked worse; him as a mummy or a scarred boy. He used to look at the mirror, fingers touching the raw dead flesh in a horrified curiosity. Now he avoided the pure reflection, head casted down in the bathroom or eyes furtively escaping the ugly monstrous mark.

Ignorance was bliss after all. Maybe if he could ignore the scar, he could forget the implications behind it too.

.

"How's your friend?" Fuyumi asked him, sitting cross-legged as all the siblings sat around the table playing cards.

Shouto wasn't quite sure how to play. He had wandered past in a daze before Fuyumi called out for him to join them. Not wanting to make a fuss he accepted the cards, putting down random ones and discreetly copying their actions as to not look incompetent.

He shrugged, shoulders hunching as attention drew to him. His head angled down so his bangs would cover up his scar.

"Are you guys not talking anymore?" Natsuo asked bluntly.

He felt himself curl up smaller, wanting the eyes to look somewhere other than him.
Fuyumi jabbed Natsuo warningly and it felt like a pity party, him the one they were celebrating.

"Drop it," Touya said, and threw down some cards. "Go Fish, Natsu."

Ever since Touya had discovered that Katsuki, the friend Shouto kept talking about, was a youkai, he had been tense, and the young boy wondered and wondered why, not knowing the answer would soon be revealed.
.

On Shouto's eight birthday, a miserable two week after the incident, his father had come up to him.

"Shouto," Enji started. "It is time."

Said person stared at him with one grey eye, the other blue lost in the patch of ugly red.

"You see them don't you?" Enji continued. "See the spirits." The last word was said with a deep frown. "The ability to see has been passed down, and you, you, Shouto, will become a powerful exorcist."

Exorcist...? Shouto blanched.

"All your homework, your training brings us to now. Now is when your true training will start. We Todorokis are a powerful family. Do not disappoint me."

So this was why Touya had tried discouraging their friendship, had tried to shield him from befriending youkai. Shouto had always been meant to defeat them, not make friends, but. He didn't want to defeat them, didn't want to become an exorcist.

He stared defiantly at his father, eyes narrowed. "I don't want to!"

Enji laughed, a low gravel. "Wants does not concern me. You must and you will."

Shouto stared at him, eyes widening when he saw two more figures behind his father; a winged blonde with a scruffy face and a lady on fire. He stared at Touya, the only one of his siblings who was there, and he stared back with regretful eyes before steeling them with a half-hearted shrug.

.

"Touya-nii!" Shouto cried, tugging at his older brother's sleeve once the first training session was over.

It was learning symbols and more fighting, drawing the symbols over and over and sparring with Hawks, one of his father's youkai guards. Under his father's watchful eye it had been grueling, but when he left to attend business, Hawks had given the young boy some reprieve, letting him rest with a torn smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shouto continued.

"There wasn't any point," Touya said, not unkindly. "What would you have done, little brother, if I had told you?"

Shouto thought about it. All his life he had had strange encounters with youkai, without any clue that some of his family could see them too, much less exorcise them. If he had known from the get-go...

He shrugged, biting his lip. "I don't want to become an exorcist."

Touya's eyes narrowed. "You were born to become one. You got the gift, Shou."

"But you can see them too!" Shouto insisted. "You saw Ka-"

"Shh!" Touya tugged his brother to his room, shutting the door. "Don't mention him around Father, Shou. Its dangerous."

As if on cue, heavy footsteps creaked outside their doorstep, pausing their march before continuing onwards.

"This house isn't safe to talk," Touya whispered. "They're everywhere."

Huh. Hawks had seemed nice enough, but then again, anyone who served under his father was bound to have a mean streak just like him.

Shouto ended up staying awake the whole night, eyes gazing at the ceiling that could hear. They're everywhere.

He thought he would avoid seeing Katsuki because of his ugly scar, but now another reason had surfaced. If he put his friend's life in danger... he wouldn't forgive himself.

.

He thought he could avoid the forest, but when life gives you unfriendly youkai, you run. He did so now, his footsteps pounding the concrete before it gave way to the familiar soft padding of grass leading to the forest.

The youkai didn't talk but it growled, low and menacing. It was a hairy one, ball shaped with spindly legs that could run like the very wind. But Shouto, despite not having come to the forest for some time, knew it like the back of his hand. He knew the shortcuts and where the fallen logs were; the scrapes on his knees from so long ago had ensured he knew all the spots to avoid.

So he managed to avoid the youkai for a while, ducking into the dirt path leading to a small alcove of wisterias and a pond with floating lotuses. Beauty aside, there was a shrub there, large enough for Shouto to hide in. He made his way inside, crouching down and slowing his heavy breathing. He closed his eyes, steadying his breaths evenly, stilling himself.

"Come out, Todoroki," the youkai hissed.

His eyes shut even further, not daring to make a sound as he felt the presence come closer and closer. Its feet crunching the leaves were an ominous sound, each one louder amidst the stillness of the pond.

"Oi, hairball!"

Katsuki.

"You!" The youkai said, partially in fear. "What business do you have?"

"None of your damn business!" Katsuki said. "Scram!"

Shouto could feel the youkai hesitate, aura spiking, before growling and stalking away. Well. That was one problem down. For some reason he stayed put, now hiding from Katsuki.

But of course, the next time he blinked, he met those crimson eyes through the leaves, and he felt arms pull him out of the shrub. He flailed before he was set down.

"Where were you?!" Katsuki demanded.

Shouto couldn't meet the red eyes, subtly trying to get his bangs to cover his scar. "I was... busy."

Katsuki’s foot tapped on the ground, and with a hand that brushed away the dual-toned bangs and lifted up the other’s chin, said: “try again.”

The truth was hard to get out. Shouto knew the reasons, knew he could say it was because he was ashamed of his scar and didn't want Katsuki to get hurt because of his family, but. When finally staring at those familiar eyes, looking angry but worried too, he ended up stepping towards the other. And another step. And another. His arms twitched before they wrapped around his friend, who seemed startled.

"Dammit, Shouto," Katsuki grumbled, stepping back to carry the weight, but his arms reciprocated. "What happened to you, hah?"

"A lot," Shouto summarized, feeling his eyes water slightly as arms gripped him tighter. He clutched Katsuki's shirt, bunching it up as he sniffled.

They held the embrace for a while, and Shouto tried to put a hold on his emotions in the meantime. He tried to ground himself, focusing on the caramel scent and the warm hug.

"I don't like my scar," Shouto explained once they sat down. It wasn't on top of a tree this time. Instead of their feet kicking the air, their bare feet rested below the water, causing ripples. He watched them fade into stillness again before creating more. "And... My father wants me to become an exorcist, like him."

"Your scar is cool," Katsuki said blazingly, such a far-cry from the other kids at school who blanched or whispered or asked him 'what happened?' with sympathetic eyes holding no understanding. "And I already know about your family."

The latter, Shouto didn't expect. "Huh?"

"Todoroki, right?" Katsuki said, then continued without an answer. "Your family is a powerful exorcist group."

"But you still..."

"Pfft like they could exorcise me! I'll destroy him!"

Softly, Shouto whispered: "I wish you would. I- I don't want to become an exorcist Katsuki. I've met so many evil ones, yes, but among them are so many innocent ones... And you."

He felt Katsuki squeeze his hand. "Don't listen to that old geezer then."

"Its hard... I don't want to train anymore..."

Katsuki looked at the pond, reflecting Shouto's fragile look back in broken ripples. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to stay with you," from the water's reflection, Shouto stared at Katsuki. "I'm sorry I avoided you... I missed you."

"Tch." After, Katsuki was silent for a long time, but he put his small hand on top of the other's, like a hand hug. "I missed you too. Or whatever."

The lotuses floated by.

.

On one fine day, there was only blue sky with clouds the shape of dragons ahead of them. Shouto pointed out a particularly fierce looking one, eyebrow angled sharply. "Its you!"

"Oi!" Katsuki sniped but didn't refute. He gazed over the clouds with eyebrows much like the dragon: in a downwards slope as he looked for a cloud... "That's you, Halfie!"

Shouto's gaze followed to where the finger pointed at; another dragon, this time one who looked sleepy with its mouth open. He didn't get it.

"Cuz when you sleep, you look dumb," Katsuki added, and proceeded to demonstrate. He closed his eyes, opened his mouth and snored noisily.

Shouto furrowed his brows, pushing Katsuki slightly. "I don't look like that when I sleep!"

"Tch, how would you know?"

He scrunched up his eyebrows. "I would know!"

"You can't see yourself sleep, dummy!"

"Well- well my family never said anything about how I sleep!"

"They're probably too nice to say you look dumb."

To this they pulled faces at each other. Shouto huffed, turning away with arms crossed and looking at the sky again. He noticed another cloud, a non-dragon one this time.

"That looks like Izuku," he pointed out.

"Hah?!" Katsuki looked offended for some reason. "You know Deku?!"

Shouto shook his head. "Izuku."

"Yeah, Deku! That stupid mushroom!"

"'Izuku's not a stupid mushroom! He's kind."

"Kind of stupid more like."

"What do you have against him?"

"Tch. He's a stupid Deku!"

"Do you not like kind people?"

A beat.

"Do you not like me?" Perhaps it was presumptuous to think he was kind, but his teachers had always said he was a quiet and kind boy, so there had to be some truths in there.

To this, Katsuki spoke out harshly: “Of course I like you, baka!”

The baka was unnecessary, but by now, Shouto thought them a weird form of endearment from the other, and he smiled in response. “I like you too!”

“Tch.”

Katsuki’s ears were red, and Shouto couldn’t feel happier, sitting beside his friend once again. Such a simple time, such a happy one.

.

"Do you think it's weird of me not blaming my mother for my scar," Shouto asked casually, but his nails pressing half-moons on his palms showed his nervousness.

"No," Katsuki said outright. Then: "But you said your mother is always tired, always sleeping, and now she's pouring water on your face-"

"By accident," Shouto supplied, though claiming something an accident never helped matters and didn't help now.

"Right."

Shouto didn't know how to say it. Say how he could still remember his mother's comforting embrace a few years back, could still remember her soba which made him an addict now, could still remember whispered words of comfort as she held him and stroked his hair as Enji was throwing a fit. He could still recall her bright laughter and lively grey eyes, and her insistence that he wear a hat and a scarf and some gloves and the puffiest jacket in order to play in the snow with his siblings, and so many other moments that only showed cared and love and nurture.

All these little things, ones that couldn't be expressed through words but flashes of memories and experiences and 'you had to be there, had to know her.' Only then would the disconcerting change, her increasing exhaustion and worries and lively eyes changing to a haunted steel be considered so drastic.

In a way, one could gain advice from outside, but without knowing the context, the background, only hearing the horrific 'she accidentally poured boiling water on my face' didn't sound the greatest. Shouto wondered if there was any justification for it. He continued fidgeting.

"But its not my place to judge whatever happened. I can only know the surface of what you tell me, but there's probably other factors at play, ain’t there?" Katsuki said then, and Shouto nodded.

Sometimes it didn’t matter if the excuses were flimsy. Katsuki understood, he always did.

.

“Let’s go explore,” Katsuki said out of the blue.

They had been siting peacefully on the tree, pointing out different clouds which looked like cats as time went by and the blues of the sky slowly turned into red; sun making its sleepy descent.

“Ok,” Shouto agreed, and they made a competition as to who could get down faster. He smiled as he started for the trunk, only to watch, mesmerized as Katsuki dropped down, wings slowing his fall into a graceful tumble before they spread out beautifully. The golden wings glinted in the reds of the sky, and he only snapped out of it when the other stuck out his tongue. “Hey, you cheated!”

“If there’s no rules, there’s no way to cheat,” Katsuki countered, to which Shouto couldn’t argue with except pull a face back.

When he finally got to the ground, he felt a hand grip his wrist loosely and tug him towards a small clearing. He followed Katsuki, legs stumbling to catch up with the energetic blond as they raced past green shrubs and pink flowers. As the canopy trees dwindled down to a more open space, the remaining sunlight caught the dewy drops fresh from the light rain, hanging on for dear life on the petals of bright foxgloves and prickly blackberry bushes.

They passed Izuku – Shouto managing a short wave and Izuku hollering a cheery greeting while Katsuki sneered – passed the tanukis playing with drums, passed the kitsunes in their tent, passed trees with eyes and walking rocks yelling ‘manly!’ as they fought each other.

Eventually they stopped, Shouto a bit out of breath as his hand went on his knee to catch it, other still in Katsuki’s gentle hold. Once he caught his breath, he looked up, only to lose it all over again.

In front of him was a clear pond, bigger than the previous one, which reflected the blue irises surrounding it and the other greenery which was vivid and picturesque. Flat rocks surrounded the water along with many horsetails, while lily pads and lotuses sat on top, not a care in the world as they floated the day away.

It was serene and still. Even Katsuki, typically boisterous, was quiet now, as if wanting to retain the peace and sanctity of the area. Still holding Shouto’s wrist, he was led to one of the rocks and they sat down cross-legged as the sun finally made its full descent, smiling at them as it went down.

.

When Shouto glanced at the usual tree, it was devoid of any blonds. Huh. It was the first time he had arrived first and he scrambled his way up the tree, sitting down on it alone and claiming the small victory. It was small, but he couldn't wait to tease Katsuki about it later. The blond prided himself on punctuality, despite the crass devil-may-care persona he usually fronted. So this, this was definitely something to share.

Except.

The sun, bearing down on them so heavily just an hour ago when Shouto first arrived had started to sink. He gazed at it, despite voices reminiscent of his sister telling him don't stare into the sun, the rays blinding his eyes as he wondered where Katsuki was.

Did this have something to do with the weird conversation they had yesterday?

"I can't be your only friend," Katsuki admonished.

Shouto pouted. "Why not? You're the only one I need."

Katsuki frowned, as did Shouto. Usually the other would be smirking, ego inflated if he got told he was that important, but the smirk wasn't there now, no smile was.

"You’ll grow old, Shou... I won't."

"What does that matter?"

"Of course it fuckin matters! What’ll you do later, hah?! When you're out of school, out into the world?"

"Katsuki... You're not holding me back-"

"I know I'm not! You're the one whose holding yourself back. I don't want you to half-ass your life!"

"I’m not!" Shouto looked teary-eyed. “Why are you talking like this?”

There was a heavy pause, and Shouto saw the blond mull the words over.

"Fucking..." Katsuki sounded at a loss. "Ok, Shou. Ok."

They had gone back to the usual conservation but it had seemed stilted somehow. Shouto could tell Katsuki had been frustrated but didn't want to push his friend so he didn't mention it any further, scared it would lead to further argument.

But he would've chosen arguments, fights, some communication over the radio silence happening now, tomorrow, and weeks from today.

He wrote letters of course, piling them in the mailbox that was never opened by anyone that wasn't him anymore. And dutifully, each day he would sit on the tree- sitting, waiting, wishing for his first friend that showed him kindness and compassion and anger and love.

But he never came.

.

[Where are you?]

[Katsuki, I miss you.]

[Its been days, Katsuki, please come back…]

[Talk to me.]

[I’m sorry I left you before… If this is how you felt, I’m really, really, really sorry. Just, please come back.]

[Katsuki...]

.

Regret was a funny thing. You never quite knew you had them until after, and when it hit, you always wished for a do-over. But in the moment, the thought of it being over was never quite a thought in the first place, only the unsaid promise of forever that would never quite uphold, for anyone and anything.

Regret was something Shouto felt, sitting by the pond Katsuki had shown him just weeks prior in excitement.

.

"Have you seen Katsuki?" Shouto asked Izuku the sixteenth day of said person's absence.

Izuku gazed up at the human with sad eyes. "I haven't, Shoucchan."

"He must be somewhere..." Shouto muttered.

"Maybe he needs time," Izuku said, before his usual white spots flushed pink. "Never mind!"

"So you do know!"

Izuku eeped, hopping back. "I don't, I swear I don't! He just said he would be going off to do his own thing for a while!"

"Off where?"

"I don't know, he didn't tell me!"

Shouto looked downcast. He wondered why Katsuki hadn't told him. "Did he say anything about me?"

"Ahhhhh, that is... ah..." Izuku floundered, and his usual green was now a bright red.

Shouto sighed. "Its ok, you don't have to share. If he didn't want me to know, there must be a reason."

Nodding furtively, Izuku still looked a little flustered. Shouto noticed the little mushroom's gaze off kilter, as if looking at-

The wind wooshed and bushes rustled. Shouto dashed towards the sound and intruder, feeling the familiar presence before it vanished. He looked above instinctively, only catching the tailwind of golden wings.

"Katsuki!" Shouto shouted desperately. "Come back!"

He didn't of course, but Shouto wasn't expecting the other to. The worries he pored in his letters, the words expressing his concern all went unnoticed before, so why should his personal call make Katsuki come back?

Izuku's sad green eyes didn't help matters, and the mushroom could only sit beside Shouto as he sat on the ground on his knees, looking at the sky where Katsuki roamed.

.

"You should stop looking for him," Touya told Shouto, flashlight aimed at him on the treetop.

"He's going to show up," Shouto insisted stubbornly, but clambered down at his brother's request.

"Its been what- a month now?"

"Thirty-seven days," Shouto corrected.

"You shouldn't have gotten so close to a youkai in the first place, Shou."

"Why should it matter whether he's a youkai or a human? Katsuki is my friend!"

Touya sighed heavily, as if Shouto was being childish and didn't understand grownup matters. But there was something more to it, something underlying-

"Did you talk to him?" Shouto demanded.

There was a pause. A heavy one that lingered on as Shouto's heart thumped and thumped. He opened his mouth again to repeat his question, but shut it when his brother stared at him. Even with the dark night sky, only the dead stars dimly illuminating the forest, Shouto could see Touya's bright blue eyes flash.

"Did you know," Touya began. "That Father wants to exorcise your friend?"

He wouldn't, Shouto wanted to say, but he knew his Father would. He never had any trouble exorcizing anyone or anything, so why would Shouto's one friend be any different?

"You told him to run," Shouto stated.

"I told him to get stronger. And only when he is worthy enough to withstand Father's attacks could he be with you, if he so wished."

"Katsuki isn't scared of Father! He said he would destroy him."

"Course he did," Touya said with a smirk. "Kid’s got guts. But he wanted to get stronger anyway. He has the rudest attitude, Shou... But he cares about you a lot. Said he was going to be the number one before he would be with you."

"Number one for what?"

A shrug. "Dunno."

"...he already is."

"What?"

"My number one."

Touya snorted, ruffling his little brother's hair. "You're a weird kid, Shou. So's Katsuki though. Guess you're a fitting match."

Shouto squirmed away. "Why couldn't he tell me himself though? He's not the type to run away."

"Check your hood."

Obliging the strange request, Shouto strained his arm to rummage around it, before his hand grasped something papery thin. He shone the flashlight on it, eyes widening with horror.

It was a paper talisman. Shouto wasn't the most well versed with magicked items but he could recognize the cut-out paper man from miles away. It was multifunctional; used as a tracker or for sending messages or to sense the presence of a particular youkai...

"Like I said," Touya continued, frowning. "Father is… really intent on exorcizing Katsuki."

So that’s why Katsuki had left without a word, maybe had even tried pushing Shouto away the other day. But now, he understood his options. It was either Katsuki becoming strong enough to hide his presence from it, or Shouto finding a way to counteract the spell on the talisman without his father noticing, and well. Katsuki shouldn't have to do all the work. Determined, Shouto said: "I'll do it."

Touya’s smile didn’t reach his eyes.

.

Seasons had come and gone. From elementary school to high school, Shouto made the transition roughly. With the loss of his mother, Katsuki and the tense atmosphere at home, he wasn't the most social butterfly at school. But he made some friends. Friends that weren't youkai- tangible humans so normal with aspirations of jobs and families and hopeful futures.

But even with Yaoyarozu sitting with him at lunch, or reading manga with Sero after school sometimes, Shouto would always come back to the tree at some point during the day with a book of spells. He would check the mailbox after, but all that remained were his unopened letters, still folded into crisp quarters and holding words from his heart.

(He didn't know that Katsuki had read them all, words engrained in his mind even as he didn't reply.)

Each day he would read more about how to counter his Father's tracking spell, and learn more about spirits and curses and youkai. He encountered more of them too.

There were the friendly ones of course. Shouto particularly enjoyed the company of the rock with crinkling eyes that smiled called Eijirou who lived with an odd assortment of others. Mina was a pink human looking youkai, with little horns on her head and black sclera. Then there was Denki, a yellow kitsune with jagged black stripes all over reflecting his powers. Others too- Tsuyu the Kappa and Ochako a pink blob looking vaguely mochi like.

But there was a reason youkai were feared.

Those youkai went unnamed, at least to Shouto. Those were the ones he ran from, branches scraping his face and hands as he dashed through them to get away from the evil spirits who chased him high and low.

Over time he learned which ones to trap and which ones to release. Touya had guided him more than their father ever did, and through the guidance, Shouto realized that some youkai couldn't be released and had to be trapped.

(Some of them were rotten to their very core, unable to be saved from themselves.)

And he learned more about Hawks and the other youkai called Burnin'. He liked them much better than his father, who pushed and pushed and pushed until his tears and energy were spent, lying on the ground with swollen red eyes and a bruised body.

Its for your own good, Enji insisted harshly. Those youkai, they won't care that you're crying.

As a father, shouldn't you care, Shouto wanted to scream. But he kept them inside his heart, where unsaid words festered into rage that sparked whenever he saw his father.

"Why do you work for my father?" Shouto asked Hawks one day as he parried the spear with his own. Enji had stepped out for a bit, and the two changed their quick pace to a more leisurely one.

"Well lil chick," Hawks drawled. "I owed him a favour."

"A favour big enough to consume your life?"

Hawks laughed, careless and free and bitter. "Unfortunately."

Shouto could relate. After living under his father's roof for his whole life, he could imagine living it for the rest of your life must be frustrating. He said as much to Hawks, who genuinely laughed, ruffling the boy's hair.

"I'll tell ya something, lil chick," Hawks said, leaning in close. "Once you're outta this house... The world is yours."

The spar continued as the sliding door opened, heavy footsteps trooping inside. They didn't talk again; couldn't under Enji's trained watch. But Hawks’ advice stayed with Shouto for a long time.

.

Rain pitter pattered on Shouto’s window, and he let the repetitive sounds wash over him as he pored over the spell book. He skimmed the text, adding sticky notes to areas which looked noteworthy to try, before his eyes landed on a particular important one: how to mask the presence of a youkai.

It was then, on a rainy day stuck indoors that Shouto found hope.

He consulted Touya about it, making sure their father wasn’t home before grabbing the book and running excitedly to his brother’s room. He knocked twice before entering anyways, placing the book gingerly on the table where Touya was looking unamused.

Wordlessly, Shouto pointed at the text, and Touya gazed at it with a hum.

Eventually the older of the two nodded, eyes looking proud and pleased.

“Go raise hell, kid,” Touya said, all the permission Shouto needed and more.

He sat by his desk, cat stationery in front of him and pen poised above it. The words came to him naturally, and the ink flowed easily as words became sentences became a paragraph. He waited for it to dry before folding it and placing it in an official looking envelope. Hopefully, this more formal looking letter would be read.

After it was put in the mailbox, all that was left was to wait.

And after waiting for months, waiting another week wouldn't hurt.

.

The usual pang he felt at seeing the empty spot by the tree was replaced with a giddy anxiousness. Would Katsuki really come though? Shouto counted down the days.

One passed, as did another, as did three more and finally...

Shouto waited by the usual spot by the tree. His foot stepped on the same footholds, arms reaching for branches he had reached for hundreds of time before. Eventually he got to the thick branch, sturdy enough to hold the two young children back then, strong enough to hold two teenagers now. Although… he wondered if the other would show up, desperately hoping he would.

He knew, perhaps out of stubbornness and the need to prove something, that Katsuki would not return until he himself had achieved whatever he set out to achieve. But Shouto couldn’t help but hope that maybe his achievements would be enough to carry them both for now.

He waited on the tree, fiddling with his thumbs and watching as the raven called Fumikage waited by his side, a solemn, comforting presence.

“It is a mad banquet of darkness,” Fumikage said. “Waiting for someone like you have.”

“He’s waiting for me too,” Shouto said confidently.

“Mad,” Fumikage repeated, and flew off when a heavy gust of wind arose.

Shouto held on to the branch, sure he wouldn’t fly off but he could never too sure. When he looked back up, he saw the person he had been waiting to see for a long time now.

Katsuki looked beautiful. He always did, actually, but now, after so long, Shouto could really see the prominent changes. The blond’s hair was still spiky, still tinting golden under the setting sun. His eyes were still a fierce crimson, although they softened at the sight of his friend. The rest was all so well defined though; cheekbones sharpened and jaw chiseled and arms more muscular. And his wings! The previously muted gold now sheened like royalty all over, spread out and impressive and-

They met each other halfway, Shouto feeling his usual dry eyes water as he got embraced firmly, held by strong arms and nestled in-between the familiar scent of caramel and sweetness and Katsuki, Katsuki, Katsuki.

“Fuck,” Katsuki said softly, reverently. “I’ve missed you, Shou. But I became number one- I did it.”

“You’ve always been number one to me,” Shouto replied, and the wet laugh he received was all he needed for his heart to sing as loud as the hummingbirds flitting past.

.

It had been a long time since he raised his voice. He typically quelled any rage coming his way, snuffed out the fire growing and muffled the screams wanting to come out. But now, chased by a burly youkai, soulless black eyes leering and mouth wide, Shouto opened his mouth, yelling: "Katsuki!"

Instantly he felt his friend's presence, powerful and familiar. Katsuki appeared in front of the dual-haired teenager, a staff in his hands and a mean grin on his face. His wings were spread out, as if wanting to have maximum intimidation coverage.

Shouto stared, mesmerized at the image and his fear dissipated, replaced with a warm, smug pride as the youkai reeled back at the same sight. To him, it was magnificent. To the youkai, it was a death sentence. It fled, of course. Few dared to challenge Katsuki, who had built a name for himself as strong and powerful.

"Coward!" Katsuki howled, raising his staff as the youkai fled. He whirled around to face Shouto, who was staring at him with a smile.

"Thanks, Katsuki," Shouto said, and to his delight, the other boy's ears flushed a light pink.

"S'nothing," Katsuki insisted as they started to walk along the path. "I didn't even beat him."

Shouto sneakily reached for his friend's hand, interlacing their fingers together so they could swing their arms around. "You did enough."

"I coulda done more."

He hummed, knowing the more he insisted the more Katsuki insisted back and it would be an endless back and forth. Those times were always fun. But for now, he simply enjoyed the peace and the nature and the feel of their hands interlocked together once again.

.

“There’s a festival coming up,” Katsuki said as they lied amongst a field of sunflowers. “We should go or whatever.”

Among the sunshine yellow of the flowers, of Katsuki’s ash blond hair and his golden wings, Shouto spotted the red tinge on his friend’s ears.

“That would be fun,” Shouto said agreeably. “When?”

“Midnight.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Shouto met Katsuki by their usual tree an hour before midnight, wearing a light blue yukata. Similarly, Katsuki was wearing a red yukata, complementing the red dusting his cheeks as he stared at the other, dazed.

Their hands naturally fell into each other’s as they walked towards the festival, Katsuki leading the way. They walked leisurely through the forest, illuminated by tall lanterns showing the way, small youkai telling them where to go with smiles and knowing eyes. A streamer of mini flags led up the path of wooden stairs, rickety and creaking as they raced it up by twos.

Shouto’s longer legs won him the race this time, and he only had to wait a second before Katsuki reached the top with a side glare.

“How is the view from down there?” Shouto asked teasingly, and dodged a swat.

“Shut up! You’re only taller by four centimeters!” Katsuki hissed.

Shouto hummed, hand reaching for Katsuki’s who escaped the attempt. “Katsuki…”

“You’re so dumb!” Katsuki flustered, before finally allowing Shouto’s hand to meet his.

Sometimes it felt like they were both six years old again, bickering over the most silliest things, with childish insults to match.

(Sometimes it felt like they would never grow up.)

Eventually they reached an arbor made of stone, a simple thing hiding the beauty within. A Tengu called Aizawa awaited them, giving them a stare looking into their souls, particularly at Shouto’s for a long time. He felt uncomfortable during the wordless interaction, but kept quiet, reassured by the warmth of Katsuki’s grip. Eventually the Tengu nodded once, thudding his Shakujo on the forest floor, and the arbor changed from stone to a glittering glass. Butterflies perched all over flapped their wings as the two boys entered.

“Congrats,” Katsuki told him. “You’re Aizawa-approved.”

“What does that mean?” Shouto asked.

“Aizawa watches over all important festivals, making sure no one with an evil soul comes in. He doesn’t care if you’re youkai or a human on the surface; he sees within you.”

Huh. Shouto had never thought about his soul being one way or another before. But his heart swelled anyways; the acknowledgement that he held some goodness in him was always a relieved feeling. “Well, I’m glad.”

Their arms swung slightly in tandem to their beat as they walked around. There were stalls manned by youkai, selling all sorts of goods and using a bartering system to trade for them. Young bakenekos ran around with towels on their heads and one-eyed spirits wandered around with other four-eyed ghosts, all partaking in the warm atmosphere. Japanese lanterns lighted up several paths, and they meandered through the stalls of food and trinkets.

“Shoucchan!” Izuku. “Kacchan!”

“Oh great,” Katsuki grumbled, but they stopped in their path and gazed down at the little mushroom holding a tiny dango. Ochako was beside him, holding some more dangos in her blobby hands.

“Hello,” Shouto greeted with a smile.

“It’s great you guys made it!” Ochaco said, manifesting a mouth. “Everyone else is here too, follow us!”

More grumbling from the blond, but Shouto lit up in excitement, dragging the other to an area with all of their friends.

“Revelry in the dark,” Fumikage said in greeting, perched on one of Mezo’s six arms, three which waved at them.

“Hand-holding is so manly,” Eijirou said, thudding heavily as the rock bounced to them with smiling eyes.

“Greetings, kero,” Tsuyu said.

“Hello,” Shouto said again, and sat down on an empty patch beside Izuku, Katsuki on his other side.

It was just in time to see fireworks go off, lighting up the star-filled sky with explosions that painted the sky with flickers of reds and blues and greens. Shouto leaned into Katsuki, who played with the dual-toned strands almost habitually, the song and dance done so many times before in the past.

“You guys are so cute together,” Mina told them with a squeal. “The ultimate star-crossed lovers.”

“Ah…” Shouto started. They had never put a term on their relationship.

Katsuki didn’t seem as at a loss. “We’re the best damn star-crossed lovers, Pinky.”

Well then. Shouto was content with that, and his tense shoulders relaxed at the continued ministrations of fingers carding through his hair gently. His eyes closed, feeling relaxed, before they opened again as he felt a nudge. In front of him was a red sky lantern, already filled with a small flame that glowed through the paper-thin shell. He was handed a small piece of paper and pen to write with, and instantly, he knew what to do.

[I want to live a free life, with Katsuki.]

Shouto attached the slip of paper to the lantern. It seemed he was the last to do so, as the rest of his friends were looking at him to finish. He stood up with the others, each holding their own lanterns with wishes and hopes and dreams.

Holding Katsuki’s hand, warm and rough and small and familiar, Shouto released his lantern, watching his and dozens more float away from them and make an astounding view of glowing colours that drifted off with no direction in mind.

“What did you wish for?” Shouto asked quietly to Katsuki, not wanting to ruin the magic of the moment with raised voices.

“Secret,” Katsuki said with a smirk.

“Well,” Shouto said with a pout. “I wished for a life with you.”

The smirk was wiped off, replaced with a gaping astonishment, replaced with a flush. “Funny.” He leaned in closer until their foreheads were pressed gently together, eyes locking tenderly as he finally revealed: “I wished the very same.”

Katsuki captured Shouto’s soft, happy smile with his lips, sealing the wish forever.

fin.