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"And he says, 'Well so's your arse!" Liam laughed heartily at his own joke while the two women at the table burst out into peals of laughter. The only one not laughing was Killian. And if looks could kill, the other people at the table would be in jail for murder. Killian wasn't throwing a fit, per se, but he was acting like a complete wanker who would barely crack a smile, even if the joke Liam had told was one of his favorites; one he told himself on occasion.
It wasn't that Killian wasn't happy about the company he was in -- Liam was his brother, his hero. He’d raised him after their mother had died and their father had left. But then he'd dragged him on this double date because Liam thought he needed to get out more. Killian just didn't understand the need for either of them to date when both their soulmates were gone.
"It's so nice to hear a good bawdy joke," the brunette -- Bella or Belle, Killian thought -- said. She was supposed to be his date. Her friend, Emma, a dazzling blonde with sparkling green eyes (not that he was noticing them) and a form-fitting red dress, had met Liam through mutual friends and when he'd asked her out, insisted on making it a double date with her friend. Both women had just got out of long-term relationships with men whom they'd thought had been their soulmates, but they'd both been mistaken.
"Robert was too 'civilized' for a good dirty joke," Belle continued, her Australian accent grating on him a little. His soulmate card didn't say anything about an accent.
Of course, the soulmate card didn't say much of anything except a broad generalization about your soulmate.
They appeared on your 21st birthday. A random notecard that gave one fact about your soulmate. Killian's simply said dark hair. How he was supposed to find his soulmate based on that tiny bit of information was beyond him. That's why he was sure he'd already found his. And since she was no longer of this earth, there was no need for him to find someone to pass the time with when they were clearly looking for their true soulmate.
“So, Killian,” Belle started. Killian looked up from his musings and realized that his date was now focused on him and Emma and Liam were deep in a conversation of their own. “What is it you do for a living? I’m a librarian.”
Well, at least she’s intelligent. “Book editor for a small publishing company in town,” he said, giving a tight, concise answer.
“See, brother! You both work with books. Perfect match.” Liam said jovially. Belle blushed a bit at this remark while Killian huffed out a breath. Of course his brother would think that would be enough for a relationship. Sometimes he wondered if Liam knew him at all or was just too interested in getting to know his own date that he was just putting a positive spin on anything either of them said. Killian pushed his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“Who’s Milah?” Emma asked, completely cutting off Liam mid-sentence, her eyes now in angry slits. Killian felt his eyes widen at the question and the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. “On your tattoo?” She clarified. Belle had apparently failed to notice the heart tattoo exposed on his forearm until Emma had brought it up and was also looking slightly put out.
Killian quickly pulled the dark blue material down so the tattoo wasn’t so exposed. “Someone from long ago,” he replied darkly.
“Where is she?” Emma continued her line of questioning, making Killian very uncomfortable. And it was also really rude. Who did she think she was asking these kinds of questions? He really hadn’t planned on letting his date and her friend know he thought he’d already met his soulmate.
“Ahh, she’s gone,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, a nervous gesture he’d never been able to kick (terrible when he was playing poker).
“Was she your soulmate?” Belle asked tentatively.
Bloody. Hell.
“I believe she was.” Killian replied slowly. Guess it was better to let this Belle lass down now before she wanted more.
“But you never really know.” Emma said, breaking the awkward tension that had permeated the air at their table. That got Killian and Liam’s attention as they both whipped their heads toward her.
“What do you mean?” Killian thought Emma was being mighty brave to suggest that Milah was not his soulmate. Milah who was older (and sometimes wiser), and loved to travel and see the world. Their relationship had only lasted two years before an undetected heart condition had taken her from him. The ring he’d planned on proposing to her with still sat gathering dust in the back of his sock drawer, no matter how many times Liam told him to sell it.
“I mean, they’re so vague, how can you know for sure if someone is your soulmate. It’s not like the notecards give you a name or even something a little more specific to help you find them. I mean, mine says accent, Belle’s just says older, and what does yours say?” Emma challenged him.
He did so like a challenge.
“Dark hair, and Liam’s says blonde.” Killian said, trying to make it sound casual instead of vexed. He knew there was nothing specifically pointing out that Milah had been his soulmate, but he’d felt it, deep down in his, well, he supposed his soul. But then again, Emma was making his heart race in a way that he hadn’t felt since Milah’s death. He kind of liked the way she was so direct and blunt. “And Liam’s already met his soulmate too. His wife died a few years back. So this whole double date is a waste,” he said angrily. He threw his napkin on his plate, got up from his chair, and made his way to the restroom. He needed to breathe and get control of himself.
“What is your bloody problem?” Liam yelled, entering the restroom shortly after Killian had. He sighed. Liam couldn’t let him cool down even for five minutes. The parent part of him always won out and needed to fix the situation at hand. But Killian couldn’t even look at Liam right now, so he spoke to him through the mirror.
“You, Liam. You are my problem. This...date,” He winced at the words, “This whole thing is pointless. We had love, we found our soulmates. Why are you trying to torture yourself?” Killian was so annoyed he could barely think straight.
Liam’s face immediately dropped from anger to sadness. “Elsa wasn’t my soulmate,” he said softly. Well that certainly wasn’t what Killian was expecting him to say. That he didn’t want to be alone the rest of his life. That he was just having fun. Those were the excuses he’d expected.
“Of course she was your soulmate.” Killian said, now actually turning to look at his brother. “She had the blonde hair. You...you married her. Why would you do that if you weren’t sure?” Killian asked exasperated. Liam didn’t answer, just looked at the bathroom tile.
“No.” Liam said again, his voice flat and emotionless. “Elsa didn’t have a soulmate card.”
Killian felt as if all the air had rushed out of the room. Those that didn’t have a soulmate card were destined to die young. Everyone knew that. Most people didn’t even bother dating someone without a soulmate card, let alone willingly marry them.
‘Yes, I knew.” Liam said, demonstrating how well he knew Killian by reading his mind. “She tried to put off my pursuit of her the moment we met, but I was already too infatuated. It didn’t matter to me if she wasn’t my soulmate, I was already halfway in love with her the moment she gave me that proper tongue lashing for trying to ‘mansplain’ what she apparently did for a living.” Liam chuckled at the memory, as did Killian. Liam had met Elsa on a boat tour in the Boston Harbor, with Liam as the captain. It had been his first historical tour, and unfortunately, Liam hadn’t had all the information correct. It wasn’t like he’d meant to piss off Boston’s foremost professor on Boston’s history.
“Look, Killian.’ Liam said, putting his hands on his shoulders. “I loved Elsa with every fiber of my being. Who am I to deny love to someone just because they don’t have a soulmate card? And if I’m lucky enough to meet my actual soulmate, then I know I will love them just as fiercely. It won’t change the love I had for Elsa. Just as if you find your soulmate it won’t diminish the love you had for Milah.” Killian knew Liam was just trying to make him feel better, but he was still processing all this information. Elsa had not been Liam’s soulmate, and he married her anyway. He wasn’t looking for his true soulmate to replace Elsa, but to share his love with them just as he had with his wife.
“But you haven’t found your soulmate yet, Liam. You just admitted that. Milah was my soulmate. How can I deprive Belle out there of finding hers if we were to get along. She’s already done it once. I can’t set someone up like that.” Killian was getting frustrated again. And they’d been in the restroom for quite a long time. Their dates might be gone by the time they got back.
“Milah wasn’t your soulmate, Killian.” Liam said so softly Killian almost didn’t hear him. And Killian had had enough of Liam’s sanctimonious ass. It was enough that he was his older brother, and had raised him from the age of 14, but now he was claiming to know who his soulmate wasn’t.
“You can’t possibly know that. Milah told me her card said blue eyes. And...and I loved her more than anything. And she loved me. She had to be my soulmate.” Killian seethed, his hands clenched at his sides. He knew the soulmate cards weren’t perfect. He knew they were vague as fuck, but for Liam to claim such things, Killian couldn’t abide that. He could feel his arm rearing back, ready to punch his brother’s lights out.
“She didn’t have a card!” Liam yelled, causing Killian to falter before he could properly punch his brother. Killian was about to protest this statement when Liam continued. “When she found out Elsa didn’t have one, she told Elsa in confidence. And us being married and all, she told me. When you met she didn’t expect to fall for you so she made up what her card said.” Killian’s head suddenly felt very heavy. The world felt like it was spinning around him. No. What Liam was saying couldn’t be true. Milah would have told him. If he’d loved her that passionately, he couldn’t even imagine how much he would love a true soulmate. “I know she told you to find love after she died.” Liam said solemnly.
Killian felt grief like he’d never known. He felt like he was losing Milah all over again with the news that she didn’t have a soulmate card. He’d resigned himself to never finding love again. Or possibly finding it later in life after someone else had also lost their soulmate. He didn’t know if he even wanted to look for his. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times and he was sure it looked a right awful mess, before pulling out his wallet and extracting his soulmate card from inside (the magic of it making it still look and feel like a crisp, pristine card despite his handling of it over the past 13 years). It had been a source of comfort to him since Milah’s death. Just staring at the descriptor, dark hair and knowing it meant his Milah. Except when he pulled it out, there was something else on the card.
“What the bloody hell is this?” he wondered aloud. Liam crowded over into his space (they really needed to get out of the damn bathroom) and after gasping at Killian’s card, pulled his card out as well.
Underneath dark hair was a new line.
Green eyes.
Milah’s eyes had been blue.
“Bloody hell!” Liam exclaimed, shoving his card in Killian’s face. For his card too had an addition on it. Under blonde hair there was now the added description of blue eyes.
‘I’ve never heard of the card adding more to itself.” Killian said, slightly in awe and slightly frustrated.
“Maybe it only does that when you’ve met your true soulmate.” Liam said, still looking at his card.
“Are you telling me that no one knows about this because they’ve never actually met their true soulmate? And we just happened to meet ours?” Killian asked incredulously. This whole endeavor was ridiculous. You didn’t get extra features on your soulmate card.
“Hold on.” Liam said, scrutinizing the card a bit more. “It doesn’t seem to be describing either of our dates. Yours says dark hair and green eyes. Belle has blue. And mine says blonde hair and blue eyes, which fit Elsa to a tee, but not Emma who has--”
“Green eyes.” Killian interrupted. Because he hadn’t been besotted with those eyes from the moment Liam had introduced her as his date. Maybe that’s why he’d been so pissed off. Maybe it had nothing to do with believing Milah was his soulmate but jealous that Liam had found a woman that seemed more suited to him.
“Or maybe,” Killian began, a new thought occurring to him, “maybe, because we believed Elsa and Milah were our soulmates, the card is giving us a second chance at love.” Liam seemed to ponder this notion. He put his card back in his wallet, Killian following suit.
“When did you become so smart, little brother?” Liam said ruffling Killian’s hair.
“Younger brother,” he said, pushing him off and trying to fix his hair in the mirror so it still looked ruffled, just artfully so. “And our dates probably think we ran out on them for how long we’ve been in here.”
They both pushed the bathroom door open and headed back to their table where, luckily, their dates still sat. They were hunched over Emma’s phone laughing at something on the screen. Killian and Liam resumed their seats, though, Killian wished he was the one sitting across from Emma and not his brother.
“I profusely apologize for my behavior, ladies.” Killian took a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face before continuing. “Both Liam and I lost our previous loves and I was having more trouble accepting the possibility that mine may not have been my soulmate.” It was a heavy statement to make, but Killian felt if there was any possibility of salvaging the date he needed to lay all the cards on the table.
Belle took his hand and gave him a sympathetic smile, whereas Emma rolled her eyes, and that intrigued him.
“You have something to say on the matter?” Killian said, looking directly at her beautiful green eyes. Emma looked slightly chagrined, though whether it was for getting caught or rolling her eyes in the first place he wasn’t sure. Either way, it amused him rather than upset him like it should have.
“It’s just….” she paused, as if searching for the right thing to say. “I don’t know if I believe in soulmates.” Three stunned faces stared at her. Killian couldn’t even begin to understand how she couldn’t believe in soulmates. There was tangible proof. “I get that there’s obviously a higher power that gives us the soulmate cards, but who decided they were for soulmates?” she continued on. “Nowhere does it say that on the card. Someone, somewhere...some time, decided that this is what the card meant and we all just...went along with it. Honestly, I think it’s to help point us in the right direction, but as for a true soulmate, I just don’t know. I’d hope a soulmate card wouldn’t be so vague in pointing me toward someone with an accent. It could at least narrow it down to a country or region. I fell in love at seventeen, determined to prove that I didn’t need a random card to tell me who to love, and of course it bombed. He left me broken and shattered, and then I turned 21 and this fucking card tells me my soulmate is going to have an accent, and if I’d known that I never would have fallen for the asshole that broke me. And yet, at the same time, would I have given up that pain if I’d known? Who would I be now if I hadn’t met him? I like who I am, and I have him to thank. And, well, yeah.” Her confident demeanor started to sag. “That’s just what I think.” They all stared at Emma as she finished her impromptu speech. The whole table seemed not sure how to respond to what Emma had just laid down. From the expression on Belle’s face, she’d never heard this opinion from her friend before. Liam looked incredibly confused, like he couldn’t understand the words that had come out of Emma’s mouth.
“That’s probably the most brilliant thing I’ve heard, love.” Killian smirked. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who was oversharing tonight.
“Not your love,” was her response, but Killian could see her lips twitching upward slightly and the apples of her cheeks turning pink.
Liam cleared his throat. ‘What was it you ladies were looking at when we came back from the restroom?” He seemed desperate to change the subject. Killian couldn’t understand why. He thought Emma’s whole theory on the soulmate card was fascinating. It was something he’d love to talk to her more about, if she wasn’t Liam’s date.
“Oh!” Belle said, a small flush flitting across her cheeks as well. “Emma found a picture from our younger days and we were just laughing at the way we looked.” She grabbed for Emma’s phone and scrolled through the photo app until she found the one they’d been laughing over. The picture made both Killian and Liam’s jaws drop.
The picture looked to be taken probably a few years ago. And in it, Emma had dark hair and Belle had blonde. “I’ve really never understood the soulmate cards that have hair color on it.” Belle remarked. “As you can see, Emma and I have not always had the same hair color you see on us now. This was us at 21.”
Dark hair.
Green eyes.
Just like his card said.
What if he’d been looking for the wrong person all this time because she’d decided to change her hair color?
What if it was all just a coincidence?
What if Emma was right and it was all just a vague notion because it didn’t really lead you to your soulmate?
Or maybe everything was meant to lead him down the path to find exactly who he was supposed to find.
Be exactly where he was meant to be.
“Can I see your card, Emma?” Liam asked. Killian had been about to ask her the very same thing.
She gave a questioning look, but then sighed and slid the card out from the pocket on the back of her phone (resourceful, another thing Killian added to the list of things he liked about Emma, who he had to keep reminding himself was not his date).
“What the…?” She began as she stared at her card. Belle looked concerned as Emma continued to just stare at her card without finishing her thought.
“What’s wrong?” Belle asked earnestly.
“There’s another line on my card!” Killian’s heart thumped a little louder. He was sure it was going to beat right out of his chest.
“What?” Belle practically snatched the card out of Emma’s hand to read the second bit of vagueness before she ducked under the table to retrieve her purse and pull out her card as well. She had an equally gobsmacked look on her face when she too discovered a second line.
“Well?” Liam asked. It seemed as though the ladies had forgotten why they had pulled their cards out in the first place.
‘Um, mine now reads accent and scar.” Emma said, looking directly at Killian, and he knew, directly at the scar across his cheek. An accident from one of his first attempts at shaving and an over hyper dog crashing into him.
“And mine now reads older and curly hair.” Belle didn’t even try to mask the way she looked directly into Liam’s eyes when she said it.
“It seems,” Killian rose from his chair and nudged Liam to do the same, “that Liam and I are sitting in the wrong seats. Unless you ladies prefer us where we were?” he finished with a raised eyebrow. Belle shook her head and blushed as Liam took over his seat, while Emma fixed him with a hard, but not completely uninviting, glare.
“I thought your card said dark hair?”
“Aye. It does.” He said slowly, savoring the puzzled look on her face. The cute way her brow furrowed and her nose scrunched up. “But I got an addition tonight. Or maybe it’s a second chance.” He pulled out his wallet, flipped it open, and set the soulmate card on the table.
“Green eyes,” she said almost breathlessly.
“Tell me something.” Killian said, grabbing Emma’s hands and feeling a spark. He really hoped she was feeling it too. “You said you thought your last relationship was your soulmate. Why? And please don’t tell me it was just because of the accent.” He chuckled at the notion. He was pleasantly surprised that Emma laughed at the comment too.
“While Graham did have an accent, Irish, we also had a lot in common. And I hoped he was my soulmate. I tried to believe it, but...well, you heard my issues from before. I could never get past that he might meet someone else with blonde hair like his card said and decide they were the better match. I drove him away with my insecurity.” Killian nodded and rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand sympathetically. “Except I was fine with it. Like, I wasn’t even upset. Not even a little. And then I met Liam through David and Mary Margaret and...do you know them?”
Killian shook his head. “No, but Liam has mentioned them.” The David in question had been a friend of Liam’s at university.
“David’s my brother,” Emma explained, “And Mary Margaret is all about soulmates and true love. She and David started dating in high school and when they got their cards, well, of course things matched. Blue eyes and ebony hair.” Killian raised an eyebrow at that remark. “Yeah.” Emma laughed. “Like she’s fricken Snow White or something. So, of course, she thought Graham was going to be my one. And when that didn’t work out, she basically threw any man with an accent my way. And I thought, maybe Liam could be the one. But the second you sat down as Belle’s date, I knew I was done for.” She shivered as he brought her hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles.
“That’s why you got so jealous over the tattoo.” She scoffed at that statement, but didn’t take her hands away.
“Not jealous. Angry that you had a girl’s name tattooed on your arm when Liam had told us you were single. I’m sorry about Milah.” Emma now started to rub his hands with her thumbs. It was slow and reassuring and was definitely stirring something below the belt.
“It was two years ago, and sudden. One moment we were happily dancing and the next she was dead in my arms. I...I thought she was my soulmate. But she didn’t have the green eyes.” Well that had gotten heavy quite quickly.
“And neither did your card.” Emma responded. “Look, Killian. I meant what I said earlier. I don’t know if this whole soulmate thing really exists. There’s obviously some higher power directing us toward someone, but as we’ve all discovered tonight, we’ve all been given a second chance of sorts. And I’m not usually one who believes in that bullshit.” Killian threw his head back and barked out a laugh causing Emma to give a wide smile. Damn! That was probably the most beautiful thing Killian had seen in a long time. This was probably the best he’d felt in a long time.
“So where do we go from here?” Killian asked almost sheepishly, as he pushed a piece of Emma’s golden hair behind her ear.
“Well,” Emma said, biting her lower lip. It created all sorts of fantasies in his head about them and how they would feel. “How about I ask you out to dinner, or something?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you out?” Killian asked, even though he liked the fact that Emma had taken the initiative. Especially with her views on soulmates. She rolled her eyes and scoffed at him instead of giving him an actual retort. “Alright. I’ll go out with you, but I get to plan the evening.” He smirked.
“I know how to plan an evening out!” Emma said indignantly. Killian cocked an eyebrow again and gave what he hoped was a dashing smile. “Fine,” Emma relented, “but just know I expect a real date. I want a nice restaurant and an excuse to dress up. I may be a badass bail bondsperson, but I still like to get dolled up once in a while. And not just to arrest lowlifes who skip out on their bail.” Well that put his mind in places that it definitely shouldn’t be.
Their moment was cut short by the server asking if they’d like anything else before he brought them their check. Liam just pulled his credit card out without ever taking his eyes off of Belle. Killian hadn’t seen Liam that smitten since he’d first laid eyes on Elsa. Maybe love was in the cards again for both of them.
On their first official date (second according to Killian, Emma said he wasn’t going to get her into bed on their ‘third’ date with that kind of counting), Killian took Emma to a nice little Italian restaurant that he’d heard good reviews about. Emma wore a pink dress that hit just above her knees with her blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail. He thought she looked like a goddess. (She proved that notion right as he worshipped her body later that night; so much for waiting for the third date).
Killian sold off the engagement ring he’d bought for Milah after their first week of dating. He’d told Emma about it, and she understood the sentimentality, but after that confession, he knew it was time to move on. He got a pretty good sum for it, and tucked it away to buy an engagement ring for Emma in the future.
Emma eventually admitted that maybe soulmates did exist...at their wedding a year later.
Liam suggested a double wedding, but he seemed to be the only one in favor of that. Belle almost gave back his ring.
Liam and Belle married seven months after Killian and Emma did and Emma was not happy about being six months pregnant walking down the aisle as the matron-of-honor.
And it wasn’t until his four-year-old was going through his wallet and asked what it was that Killian realized he hadn’t actually thought about the soulmate card in years. The card that had dictated so much of his adult life ended up not being so important once he’d found love. Regardless of what color Emma’s hair was (red at the moment), he was sure he would’ve fallen for her and she for him, despite both of their feelings at the time. Maybe they truly were soulmates, Killian couldn’t be sure. He just knew that when his dark haired, green-eyed little girl asked how mommy and daddy met, he was exactly where he was meant to be.