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Ron pulled in several slow, deep breaths as he watched his reflection do the same in the mirror. His scars seemed to be a lot more prominent today for reasons that he couldn’t seem to put his finger on. Maybe it was because of how cold it was outside - there was ice on the insides of the windows after all. Maybe it was just simply because his heart was hammering away inside his chest. For some reason when he had woken up that morning it had felt as though a hippogriff was sitting on his chest and even now when it was eight at night he hadn’t been able to figure out what was wrong.
It had started out like any ‘normal’ day in their house, with Neville peppering soft kisses all over his face to safely wake him up despite the commotion of the rest of the house. They might have moved out of the Burrow, but they had moved in with Fred and George, meaning that the chaos had followed them. It didn’t at all help that Fred seemed to be extra stressed as of late, and when he was stressed he didn’t really sleep. He understood why his brother might feel stressed, but they were all in this together.
But that was maybe why Ron felt anxious today, because he was stressed as well. He didn’t want to believe that he was, considering that he and Neville had chosen to be in this situation, but Ron would be lying if he said that he wasn’t at all afraid of being a father. Neville seemed to be taking his all in his stride, but then Neville loved kids whereas Ron had always been rather indifferent towards them. He adored Teddy and Victoire, but that was because they were family.
He wasn’t afraid that he wouldn’t love his child too - he already loved the baby more than he ever thought that he was capable of loving another person. No, Ron was just terrified of screwing up the whole parenting thing. Five parents meant that they was both more and less of a chance of them all screwing things up, logic which he hadn’t been able to explain to anyone yet.
“Ron?” He could hear Neville calling through to him from their bedroom and Ron closed his eyes tightly for a moment before he gave a small shake of his head. He knew that Neville wouldn’t understand, especially not when it was Ron who had asked him to consider being a fifth parent to Hermione’s child.
“I’m just going to head down and make some tea.” He called back to Neville before he pulled his pyjama top on over his head and headed down the stairs to the kitchen where to his dismay, he could hear movement.
Ron tried not to let his face show just how annoyed he was when he entered the kitchen, especially when he found Hermione herself sat at the table, her head in her hands. Ron’s heart gave a twinge and he immediately moved to her side, his hand on her back.
“Hermione?” He asked quietly, wondering if he should be there or if he should let her be, but she didn’t push her away so he took that as a good sign. “You alright?” He knew that that wasn’t exactly her favourite question just now, especially now that she was officially on maternity leave and almost completely losing her mind, but the way that she was sat told him that something was wrong. He managed to stop himself asking if it was the baby, feeling that if he did that then there was a chance that she would throw something at him. It wouldn’t be the first time and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.
“I’m…” Hermione began, not even looking up at him which he found a little frustrating but he supposed he couldn’t blame her for. He wasn’t her favourite person and he was well aware that the only reason that she put up with his was because they were having a baby together. “I dunno how to phrase it.” She admitted.
Ron let out a soft chuckle. It would seem that they were reflections of each other. He didn’t know how to phrase what was on his mind either. “That’s okay.” He said softly as he pulled out a chaise and sat down beside her. “You don’t have to have all the answers.” He knew that this was something that she struggled with. She always felt that she needed to know everything - and for the most part she did, but the human brain wasn’t something that people even fully understood yet, let alone the emotions that came with it.
Hermione sighed softly, her head shaking a little but she didn’t argue with him - which Ron thought had to be the first time ever, but he didn’t question it. Instead he just sat there with her for a little while, his hand rubbing over her back gently, giving her the comfort that he so badly wanted for himself.
Eventually Hermione sat up properly. Her eyes were full of unshed tears and selfishly Ron found himself praying that she wouldn’t burst into tears. He didn’t think that he could take it if she started crying. He knew that he would probably end up joining her and that was the last thing that they both needed, or maybe it was exactly what they needed, to cry it out. This wasn’t exactly how either of them had ever seen their lives panning out but that wasn’t to say that that necessarily had to be a bad thing. The pair of them were finally with the people that they were meant to be with, after all, and that had to count for something.
“I think it all just hit me at once.” Hermione whispered, her voice wavering, broken as she let her eyes linger on his face for a few short moments. “I came down here to see if there was still frozen yoghurt in the freezer and I had… I had to sit down…”
Ron pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Do you still want that frozen yoghurt?” He asked as he stood up, heading towards the freezer. He was attempting to avoid talking about all of their fears but it seemed that it was a conversation that was going to happen whether he liked it or not, so they might as well be armed with some sort of comfort food before either of them had a chance to start crying for real.
“Please.” She said quietly. Ron could feel her watching him the whole time as he moved around the kitchen, getting her the dessert and making himself a hot cup of coffee before he sat back down.
“It’s smart to be scared.” He said after a few moments of silence. “I’m scared too. And I know even my mum was scared before she had us. If you weren’t scared, I’d be starting to question how intelligent you actually are.”
Hermione raised an eyebrow, her spoon halfway to her mouth and her head cocked to the side. “How does that make any sense?”
“We’re about to bring a brand new life into the world that we helped to save - that we continue to try to make better. Neither of us knows whether we are ready to help shape a life on top of that, not to mention the fact that there is absolutely nothing on this planet that can prepare you for parenthood. Trust me, I even tried to read a few books, hoping that if I approached this the way that you approached everything else up until this point that I wouldn’t feel this way, but I don’t feel any more ready than I did before I started reading. But it’s okay, because we’re allowed to feel scared.”
Hermione blinked a couple of times as she watched him, listening to him ramble off his own reasoning as to why he didn’t feel bad about feeling scared. He hadn’t even realised that he felt this way until the words were tumbling out of his mouth. He didn’t even attempt to stop them as he realised that the best way to feel any type of better was to talk it out.
“It’s okay to be scared.” He continued. “Even though we both know that there are other people that we can rely on for help, it’s still okay to be scared.”
“I don’t think I’ve been this scared since the war.” Hermione admitted, and he had to give her props for managing to admit that one, especially to him considering how rocky their relationship had been as of late.
“Me neither.” Ron confessed before he added, “But this time it’s not with a sense of foreboding. I’m excited for what’s to come as well. And honestly? I can’t wait to meet our baby.”
It was Hermione’s turn to give a small laugh. “I can’t wait to have my body back. I’ve never been this uncomfortable in my life and I certainly won’t be in any rush to do this again. How y\our mum did this six different times, I have no idea.”
Ron hummed lightly. He knew that he couldn’t relate, and that was perhaps something that he should have been grateful for. For Hermione to complain about it, he realised that it had to be pretty bad, especially when he took into account some of the absolute crap that had been thrown her way over the years - often by him. If he had been at all religious, he would have petitioned to have her made a Saint, but as it was, he was just glad that while he had screwed up tremendously just nine short months ago, he hadn’t lost her completely.
“It won’t be long now.” He said softly. The reality of it was that she was due in just a week now, though if his mother was to be believed then it could be another three weeks. He was hoping that for Hermione’s sake that that wasn’t the case.
“I know.” She said softly before she paused for a moment and then said “and thank you for letting me know it’s okay to be scared.”
Ron shook his head slightly. He knew that that had been for his own personal reasons, that he was mainly just giving himself permission to be scared and to take her gratitude for a selfish act such as that seemed wrong. He had managed to get his own feelings out and the hippogriff that had been sat on his chest had finally migrated.