Chapter Text
day one: reflection
Gaara looks at his reflection and asks who he is (feat. Shinki because he baby).
As a baby, your reflection is something strange.
It's you, but you don't know it's you. And you spend so much time staring at it, waving your arms around and being amazed because the person in the mirror does it too! It's something fun and cute, and you don't realise the importance of your reflection and how you perceive it.
Some people love their reflection.
Some people hate it.
And some people don't know what to think.
He looks at his reflection again when he's five-all intending to find out what's wrong with him.
He doesn't look much different from the other children-he's roughly the same height as them, and he has all the same features. He has the same kind eyes and bright smile as the others. There are some differences: like the bright red hair (but other kids have colored hair too!), and most notably, the dark rings around his eyes.
Overall, he looks like a normal kid.
'So,' he wonders with sadness in those kind eyes, 'why don't the other children play with me?'
The next time he studies his reflection, he's six years old-and all he sees when he looks at himself is a monster.
The kanji on his head says love, but his heart is filled with rage and anger. Those once kind eyes are gone, replaced with something much crueller.
He still doesn't know who truly he is, but he knows what he is. He's Gaara no Sabaku, the monster of the sand village.
If that's all the village saw him as, then that's what he would be.
When he's twelve years old, he stares at himself again, and once again, questions who he is.
For the very first time, his reflection is bruised, bloodied and beaten. It's been a week since the Chuunin Exams in Konoha, and every day, he stares at himself and tries to figure out who he is now.
If he's no longer the monster of Suna, what is he?
His eyes are no longer cruel or kind-now they're filled with confusion. He has a new appreciation for the kanji on his forehead-now he views it as a guide to live his life with.
He stares at himself for hours, and when Temari cautiously checks on him, he can't explain what he's doing. All he can do is ask the question that's plagued him.
"Who am I?"
Temari sputters and stares at him in confusion. Neither of them knows how to be real siblings just yet-it's all still so new-, and so a question that should've been easy for Temari to answer is answered only by silence.
"I...don't know. I guess you're...Gaara?"
"But who is Gaara?" he asks again.
Temari is silent for a few seconds, before she meekly offers, "You're our little brother."
Temari's answer was meek; she wasn't sure of the answer herself.
Regardless, Gaara likes the answer, hoping he can continue to be 'their little brother'.
The next time Gaara studies himself in the mirror is when he's fifteen, just mere minutes before his inauguration as Kazekage.
The hat is a little too large, and he feels weird wearing the Kazekage robes-but he's happy.
He knows who he is now; he's the Fifth Kazekage; he is Sunagakure's leader. He is Gaara, and for once, he is proud of that.
His reflection appears before him one day when he is weak, and he can only guess that it's days after the Akatsuki captured him.
He can feel himself slipping away, but before he does, he studies the reflection in front of him. With death nearing, he finds himself questioning what he's leaving behind. Has he truly changed anything? Will he be missed?
And again, one question plagues his mind: who am I?
It appears he'll never have the answer.
He starts to slip away. Despite his concerns and questions, he knows his time is up.
"Gaara!"
He can hear someone calling him, but he's not sure who the voice belongs too.
"Gaara."
He opens his eyes, and he sees Naruto and his people.
He sits in silence as the people around him rejoice and cheer, and he studies them with awe.
In their eyes, he sees his hope, his determination, and his dreams.
That answers his question. He is Gaara, the Kazekage, and he is reflected within his people.
At some point, Gaara stops looking at his reflection-because after all these years, he's finally happy with what he sees. He's the Kazekage and the Regimental Commander of the Allied Shinobi Forces. He is reflected within his people, and he reflects their hopes and dreams and the ability to make a change.
It's a normal day when he's alerted to an incident within the desert; an angry storm, with rumours circulating that a young child who possesses iron sand is the cause of the storm.
When he investigates, he finds a child-no older than eight-who eerily reminds Gaara of himself. The child seems filled with rage and anger. The child's eyes are filled with something cruel, and they stare at Gaara-momentarily reminding him of his own eyes and his own rage.
Gaara initiates a hug. The child attacks, but Gaara ignores the pain, and soon the storm around them disperses, and the child looks at him with confused eyes.
Gaara sees himself in the child's eyes, and he promises to help the child-to give the child what he never received.
His reflection tells a story through the years.
He was a baby, innocent to the world around him.
He was a child, confused by the glares and hurtful names thrown his way. He was the monster of Sunagakure.
He was a teenager, who finally became a little brother-a bond he still cherishes.
He is the Kazekage, his people's leader and his hopes and dreams are reflected in them.
He is a father-and he gives Shinki the upbringing he never had.
He is Gaara.