Chapter Text
Jack had never tried coffee before, so Cas decided today they would go to a coffee shop. Personally, Cas didn’t care for coffee. Once you had one liquid molecule, you’ve had them all, but still, it was fun to watch Jack experience something for the first time. Was that how the Winchesters used to think of him? Refreshingly naïve.
Cas pushed open the door of The Human Bean and a little bell jingled above his head. Jack walked in after him, eyeing the shop carefully.
Cas ordered a latte for himself, while Jack took his time reading the chalkboard menu above the cashier’s head. The cashier was a teenage girl with bright pink hair that stood out against her black clothes and apron.
“What would you recommend?” Jack asked her once a line started forming behind him.
The barista, Juliet according to her nametag, looked Jack up and down.
“Do you like sweet drinks?” She asked.
“I don’t know,” he smiled.
She wasn’t sure if he was trying to make a joke. She glanced from Cas to Jack. Cas wasn’t going to step in. It was good for Jack to figure things out on his own.
Sometimes, being Jack’s father was difficult. Mostly because Cas could not rely on the many parenting books he’d picked up over the years. Jack was a man, but only a few years old, but also an unfathomably powerful king of hell. Cas had yet to find a parenting book that covered all of that, but he had a notebook where he liked to write down helpful paragraphs.
“What’s your sweetest drink?” Jack finally asked.
“Our caramel drizzle blended delight,” she answered automatically.
“I’ll try that. Large, please,” he said, grabbing his credit card.
She started to smile. Jack’s smile was very infectious.
“What name for the order?”
“I get to pick?”
She laughed, apparently deciding that Jack was joking.
“I need your name.”
“Oh. Jack.”
“Thank you, Jack. And if you don’t like the drink, let me know. You could always try something else,” she looked at Jack through her eyelashes, “on the house.”
“Thanks,” Jack took the receipt and headed for a table.
Cas looked at Juliet another moment longer, and then followed Jack.
Cas and Jack sat at a small table by the biggest window. The street outside was busy, despite the cloudy, grey sky. People in thick coats walked past, some laughing with each other, some with headphones in, some with serious expressions. Jack loved to people watch. He stared out the window, and Cas joined him.
Juliet brought their drinks to their table herself. Cas looked up, surprised. He’d been the to the Human Bean before, and normally they called out your names when your order was ready.
“Enjoy your drinks,” Juliet grinned at Jack.
Cas picked up his latte. Jack studied his drink. It looked like a milkshake, with caramel dripping down the sides and a mountain of whip cream on top. Jack unwrapped his straw, then paused and squinted at the cup.
“I think there’s a phone number written on this. Look, it has ten digits. It looks like it was written recently.”
Cas set his latte down. He suspected something like this might happen. Juliet seemed overly friendly, the way he’d seen waitresses act toward Dean.
It was different though, with Jack. Jack wasn’t smiling back the way Dean did. Jack had no idea what it meant. And now he was looking at Castiel for answers.
“Is this the number of the coffee shop?” Jack asked.
“No.” Cas said, “The barista wrote her personal number on your cup, hoping you would call her.”
“So I could let her know if I liked my drink? That seems unnecessary. I could just walk back to the counter.”
“No,” Cas said, again. He took a deep breath, “She wants you to call her for personal reasons. She likes you and wants you to ask her on romantic date.”
Jack’s eyebrows shot up.
Cas was struck with a realization. Maybe Jack would like to call her. Jack wasn’t saying anything. Should Cas be saying something? It took all of Cas’s willpower to not jump out of his chair and fly to his parenting books. He’d read chapters about “Your child and dating” but he never took notes on those sections, and now here he was, horribly unprepared.
“Am I supposed to tell her I don’t want to call her?” Jack asked.
Cas felt his throat closing up. This was a different type of panic, one that occurred when he thought about Jack’s unique situation. What was Jack supposed to do? Juliet didn’t know that he was a man, but only a few years old, but also the anti-christ. How could Jack ever engage in a normal human romance?
But what else was he supposed to do? Live a life alone, with only Cas, the Winchesters and co. as companionship? Jack had a good heart, he was surely capable of falling in love. But love with The Human Bean barista? Maybe Cas was being unfair, after all, Dean slept with waitresses.
Cas slammed on the brakes on that particular train of thought. Jack wasn’t talking about sleeping with waitresses. He was talking about a phone number on a cup of coffee.
“If you want to call her, you should,” Cas said, perfectly casual. And just to prove how fine everything was, he took a long sip of his latte.
“But I’m gay.”
Cas choked on his drink and set his cup on the table. Jack sat up in concern.
“Are you okay?”
Cas coughed, and held up a hand, “yes, yes, I’m fine.” He cleared his throat.
Then he looked at Jack.
He had no idea what to do.
“It is perfectly fine to be gay.”
“I know.” Jack gave him a strange look.
“Right.” It almost felt like Cas was watching them from another table, watching himself screwing up this extremely important conversation between father and son. He knew he needed to support Jack through this, he remembers statements like that from the books, but how? What was he supposed to say? When did Jack even realize he was gay? Was that something Cas was allowed to ask?
“I support you,” Cas said.
“With what?” Jack tilted his head.
Cas was at a loss for words.
Jack plopped his straw into his drink. He took a sip and smiled brightly.
“This is delicious,” he said, apparently deciding to ignore Cas’s speechless misery.
“I’m glad,” Cas forced himself to respond.
-
Dean stepped out of the shower and ran a towel over his hair. The bathroom mirror was fogged over, so he couldn’t see himself as he brushed his teeth, rolled on deodorant, and spit out his toothpaste. When he straightened up, he ran a hand over the mirror, wiping away just enough to see his face.
Green eyes stared back at him. He leaned a little closer to the glass. Sometimes it felt like he didn’t know himself at all. Maybe that was a common problem for people who’d been used as vessels. He’d ask Sam, but that would lead down an emotional line of questioning that led to scary things, like tears or honest conversations. He’d ask Cas, but vessels were a sensitive topic.
He threw on his clothes, and then poked his head into different rooms of the bunker, until he finally found Cas in the library, head hung low at a table full of books.
“Are you working on your summer reading?” Dean asked, sneaking up behind him.
His head snapped up, and he met Dean’s gaze.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a gay teenager?”
What a question. Dean was almost shocked into laughter, but Cas looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He kept it serious.
“Is this for a case?”
“It’s about Jack,” Cas turned back to his books, “This morning he told me that he’s gay.”
“Well, that’s. . .” Dean finally settled on, “something. Uh, how does that work when you’re not actually human?”
“I don’t know,” Cas picked up the nearest book and shoved it toward Dean, “neither does Barbara Crane, despite her Ph.D. in child psychology and well-adjusted bisexual daughter.”
Dean accepted the book and glanced at the cover. How to Show Up When They Come Out by Barbara Crane. Dean made a face and tossed the book back to the table.
“You don’t need the crap in these books. What did you say when he told you?”
“I said it’s okay to be gay, and that I support him,” Cas said, devastated.
“See? You did it.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Cas argued. “And according to Being a Parent Means Being an Ally I shouldn’t have said anything, I should have listened. Listening is step one—”
“Cas, you’re being way too hard on yourself. I think you did fine— I mean, not that I know anything about shit like this—”
“I just want to help Jack, but all of these books make it sound so complicated. And they don’t take into account his unusual circumstances.”
“Yeah, that’s probably above Barbara Crane’s paygrade,” Dean said. Cas still looked dejected. Dean cleared his throat.
“What is sexuality like for angels?”
Cas leaned with his chin in his hand.
“Sexuality? Dean, I used to be a multidimensional wavelength of—”
“—of celestial intent, yeah, I remember,” Dean finished. Cas looked up at him.
“Gender doesn’t exist to angels. Of course, since my vessel became permanent, I liked to consider myself a man. Yet, when it comes to selecting sexual partners, I’ve never taken gender into consideration. I am drawn to a person’s soul.”
“Sexual partners? You mean a demon and a reaper?”
Dean knew he shouldn’t have said it. Vessels were a sensitive topic, but Meg and April were a million times worse. He glanced back at Cas, but he didn’t look upset. In fact, he was half smiling.
“I tried a lot of new things when I was a human.”
Dean’s brain short circuited. Cas’s smile grew. Dean cleared his throat and tried to remember what the hell they were talking about.
“Human,” Dean said, “So you, I mean, only when you’re fully human, you like. . .”
“I still enjoy sex now,” Cas clarified, and wow, this conversation got away from him. Dean felt like he just stepped onto a tightrope with no safety net.
“Good to know.”
Cas tilted his head.
“Is it?”
Well. He took one step on the tightrope and now here he was, free falling to a cold, unforgiving death. Cas looked confused, but there was a light in his eyes, like some of his confusion was a kindness. Like he knew more than he let on, but wanted Dean to explain it anyway. Dean kept his face carefully neutral.
“Yeah. If you’re stuck on Earth, you should be able to enjoy the finer things in life. Now you just need to get some better taste buds,” Cas looked at him, and he forced himself to look back. He’d put his foot in his mouth, but he managed to pull it out quickly. No way was he going to be the first to blink.
Cas dropped his gaze back to his books.
“I have bigger concerns,” he said, and wasn’t that just a kick in the crotch. Dean told himself it was a good reminder— this is why there would never be anything more between them. Cas had bigger concerns, and Dean was here to help, not bitch about his many smaller concerns.
“Don’t let these books mess with your head, man. If Jack was pissed or whatever, he’d tell you. It sounds like he didn’t want to make it a big deal.”
“But the civilian barista at the coffee shop gave him her number. What if Jack wants to start dating? What am I supposed to do to prepare him?”
“Sounds like that’s Jack’s business.”
“I’m his father,” Cas narrowed his eyes. “And the one thing these books understand is that he needs support. He has no experience, Dean. And just because you’ve never had a problem sleeping with civilians doesn’t mean Jack won’t face problems. Things will be different for him.”
Dean blew out a puff of air, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Hey, maybe he should talk about this stuff with Claire.”
“Why Claire?”
“Isn’t she sort of Jack’s age? Maybe he’d relate to her. Plus she’s a lesbian and everything, so. . .”
Cas’s relationship with Claire was, to put it simply, complicated, but he’d always cared for Claire as a daughter. He completely trusted her, and he hoped by now she trusted him. Perhaps that’s why he found this news particularly shocking.
“. . . you had no idea, did you?” Dean said slowly.
“I need to go talk to her,” Cas said. He almost asked if Dean wanted to come, but Dean was already grabbing his jacket.
“How did you not know? She’s been dating Kaia for, like, months.”
“I don’t have time to keep up with gossip, Dean.”
“No, of course not, you have bigger concerns.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m driving.”