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One.
Study group had easily become another part of Abed’s routine, the members in said group becoming his friends as it did. He practically knew them like the back of his hand, like the lines from his favorite movie.
That was how he knew Troy was going to laugh at Jeff’s joke. Abed could understand the principle of it, but he didn’t see how it was funny. Troy always did though.
Troy found the strangest things funny, but Abed was fine with that, because he liked seeing Troy happy. It meant that he got to see him smile. And it was normal to be enamored with your best friend’s smile, right?
If Abed was in a movie and the audience could hear his thoughts, he knew they would feel differently. But life wasn’t like the movies, Abed, Jeff had told him constantly. So it didn’t matter what the audience would think.
But Troy still had that goofy grin on his face.
If (and he knew it wasn’t, thank you very much, Jeff) Abed’s life was a movie, he could already tell how this scene would play out. The music would be slow and bright, the camera zoomed in tight as it caught Troy’s actions in slow motion. It would perfectly depict how angelic he was to Abed.
However, this was real life. Nothing was moving in slow motion, which meant Abed had been staring at his best friend for entirely too long. Everyone had started to notice.
“Everything alright, Abed?” Britta asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was supposed to be comforting, he thought, or she wouldn’t do it. It made him feel worse.
“Yeah. I wasn’t paying attention. What did you say?”
That was a good enough answer. It always was. Abed, with his head in the clouds. Nobody bothered to even wonder what he was thinking about. For that, he was grateful.
Two.
Abed knew that Troy didn’t really enjoy the movie they were watching. He could tell by his posture and his expressions, but he had agreed, so Abed didn’t say anything.
Troy knew he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to. But he was still there, beside Abed, watching the movie and not complaining even though Abed knew he would be tomorrow. He let Abed enjoy his time for now.
Of course, not many people enjoyed documentaries to begin with. Abed was impartial on the subject because many documentaries were simply inaccurate and flawed. But this one was good.
He had told Troy as much before it started. How it was one of his favorites, how many times he had seen it before, even how the most difficult scenes were shot before Troy got to see them.
And Troy’s phone kept buzzing, which was normal. Abed didn’t know if it was people from the study group or the girl Troy was seeing, but that didn’t matter. It was their movie night. Troy wasn’t going to leave.
He sat with his best friend, watching a movie he didn’t enjoy, and let his best friend rattle off as many facts about the movie as he could.
Abed wasn’t going to mention it, but he knew it was a gesture that some friendships went without. Troy had a big heart, and Abed knew that more than anyone.
Of course he did.
Three.
Abed didn’t know why he had agreed to this. Actually, he knew it was because he could hardly stand to say no to Troy, but this was beyond ridiculous.
Of course he had been kissed before. Granted, it wasn’t great, and it was too wet, and she never called him back. But it still counted. And that wasn’t the only time, either. Just because none of the kisses were good didn’t mean they didn’t count.
The only reason he had even started seeing this girl to begin with was to get over Troy. He knew that, objectively, that was wrong, and Britta would call him selfish. He also knew that Britta had done bad things too.
Still, even if it wasn’t nice, didn’t mean it wasn’t necessary. The girl wasn’t in love with him. She didn’t even know who he was until Troy introduced them. So he thought kissing her a few times would help them both get over his best friend who had so many suitors it overwhelmed Abed.
But then Troy insisted.
He told Abed that this girl was, to nicely put it, out of Abed’s league. That he would need serious skills to keep her interested. Abed, of course, had plenty of skills. But not the type of skills Troy meant.
Then he said it. Those three stupid words. Abed wished he was in a science fiction rom-com right about then, so he could have some magical remote to reverse time. But he didn’t and he couldn’t back down.
“Practice on me,” he said. Abed waited for the punchline. Thought maybe it was another one of Jeff’s jokes that he didn’t quite get. But the other shoe never dropped.
Abed wanted to protest, but he couldn’t find the words. He opened his mouth and shut it promptly, repeating the action a few more times before deciding to just not speak at all. What was he even supposed to say?
Hey, Troy, I think this might be a bad idea because I’m helplessly in love with you and I’m trying to get over my feelings for you so I don’t ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me? He didn’t think so.
“It’s fine, dude, I swear. Look, just close your eyes and I’ll show you what to do.”
Troy did exactly that.
Not that Abed had imagined what it would be like to kiss Troy before, but if he had, this would be a lot different than his preconceived notions. Troy’s lips were soft, his movements gentle. Abed didn’t feel like he was suffocating. He felt… warm. And nice.
This certainly wasn’t going to help him get over his feelings any faster.
The kiss felt like it lasted a lifetime and no time at all. When Troy pulled away, Abed stopped himself just shy of chasing his lips forward. He would do anything to be kissed like that again.
Troy, on the other hand, hardly seemed affected. He had that same grin on his face that he always did.
“See? Not bad, huh?”
It was bad. Worse than Troy could even imagine.
Four.
To say that Abed was avoiding Troy would be an understatement. It would also be the truth.
It had been four days since they kissed and the memory was just as fresh. If Abed tried, he could still feel Troy’s lips on his (not that he had done that). But that was the problem.
Abed had repressed his feelings long enough for it to be second nature to him. At first, it was just a silly little crush. He had never been great at distinguishing romantic and platonic feelings, so it didn’t really matter. After the kiss, though, he was certain that he was in love. It was a fact.
And he didn’t know what to do. Troy was his best friend. He couldn’t lose him. Anyone else, maybe, but not Troy. Never Troy.
Still, though, it looked like he was going to regardless of what he did. Troy, of course, noticed that he was being avoided almost immediately. He questioned his friend about it and got silence in response.
But what was Abed supposed to do? Every time he saw Troy, all he could think about was the kiss. He wondered if Troy thought about it as often as he did. If he wanted it as badly. But he already knew the answers, so that was pointless.
He considered his options on the way back to his dorm, not paying attention to anything around him as he made his way through the halls. When he got to his room, he didn’t even look up from the floor when he threw himself on the couch.
It was unlike him, really, because he usually noticed everything. Now, though, he didn’t even notice Troy sitting beside him.
“Abed?”
Troy’s voice effectively interrupted Abed’s train of thought. When he looked up, he found Troy looking at him with a hesitant smile on his face.
Before Abed could even ask what was going on, or maybe take off and leave Troy behind, Troy continued speaking.
“You’re upset with me. I get that. So I brought some DVDs and we’re going to watch them, together. Cool, huh? I got most of your favorites…”
Troy was still talking, but Abed wasn’t listening anymore.
All he could think about was how thankful he was to have someone like Troy in his life. Someone who cared when he was upset, who wanted him to be happy, who knew what he enjoyed. Someone he could love wholeheartedly. And he did.
Five.
Things were fine. Actually, Abed would go as far as to say things were better than fine.
It had been two weeks since Abed and Troy made up, and everything was back to normal. You couldn’t even look at them and tell that one was hopelessly in love with the other. They were just two best friends. That was all.
And Abed was fine with that. Really. He knew he would never have Troy in the way he wanted, but it was enough to have him as his friend. Besides, they still spent all their time together. Nothing could separate them.
That’s what Abed thought, anyway.
They were having another movie night. It was a normal routine of theirs, and nothing interrupted it, not even the shenanigans that the study group got up to. It was their time together. Abed cherished it.
Halfway through Pulp Fiction, Troy’s phone went off. It usually did, because he never turned it off, and he was a lot more social than his counterpart.
But Abed saw the way his face lit up.
He still wasn’t expecting what came next.
“Can we cut this short? Leanne wants to go out.”
Abed didn’t say anything. Troy took his silence as confirmation to his question.
He gathered his things, and Abed could feel it rising in his throat before he could stop himself. Right when Troy was at the door, Abed stopped him.
“I have something to tell you.”
Troy turned back to him, confusion lacing his features. Abed knew he was being stupid, that he was potentially ruining their friendship, but he was apparently losing him anyway. It didn’t matter anymore.
“I know you don’t want to hear this. And I’ve tried, really tried to stop feeling this way. But I’m scared. I’m scared of walking out of this and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”
“Isn’t that from Dirty Dancing?”
It was.
“Troy, I love you.”
“I know. I love you, too, Abed.” He said it so easily. The words fell from his lips with no hesitation. He didn’t even consider that Abed meant it on another level than he did.
“No, Troy. I’m in love with you. All I think about is you. You’re the only thing that I can’t stand to lose.”
Troy stilled, and Abed knew he was going to get rejected before his best friend even opened his mouth. He had always seen this coming. How else could it end.
“Abed, you’re my friend. You’re my best friend, but that’s all. I can’t ruin what we have….” he trailed off, refusing to look Abed in the eyes. “Look, I gotta go. I can’t be late.”
He didn’t look back before leaving. The silence after he slammed the door was deafening.