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“Shit.”
It had only been a couple weeks, but Dani had noticed it almost immediately after they’d set off — Jamie throwing on a button down over her tank top when they’d get to a rest stop or even just to raid the vending machine at a motel.
Dani had thought of saying something, but she wasn’t sure it was her place to. She was touched that Jamie felt comfortable enough not to cover it up around her, that even on that very first night she’d fallen asleep in her arms knowing she would see it in morning. But she was also well aware that they still hadn’t talked about it directly.
And it seemed Jamie was not keen to change that.
“Sorry, I’ll, uh, I’ll be right back… just, uh… ahhh!”
Dani’s first thought, when she’d realized why Jamie had stopped walking, was to swap her T-shirt for Jamie’s tank, not her style exactly, but she couldn’t have cared less as long as Jamie was comfortable. They were coming up on the town center now, though, and there was nowhere for them to change covertly. And if Jamie felt self-conscious now, Dani imagined stripping on the sidewalk wouldn’t help.
But she was not going to let Jamie walk half a mile back to their room alone. And though she could insist on joining her, she knew that would fluster Jamie, too, in her current frame of mind. So that left only one option.
“Better?” Dani asked into Jamie’s ear, as Jamie stood back up, adjusting to Dani’s weight on her back.
Even from this angle, Dani could see her blushing, but she heard her laugh, albeit a bit awkwardly, after a moment.
“Yeah… Thanks.”
*****
“I know what it’s like, you know?”
Dani had stayed on her back all the way to the restaurant; then stood behind her while they’d waited in line to order, her arms still resting on Jamie’s shoulders. Now, Jamie was sitting against the wall on her side of the booth, legs out in front of her, one elbow on the table, the other on the top edge of the seat.
She looked up, cocking her head as she threw in a fry into her mouth. Dani raised her eyebrows. Jamie’s eyes went wide in recognition a moment later, then her face fall.
“Dani, I’m… I’m so sorry.”
Dani shrugged.
“I’m getting used to it… One kid said I looked like a dog.”
Jamie choked on the soda she’d just taken a sip from. She coughed as she put it back down.
“What?!”
Dani laughed.
“Oh, no, it was - it was sweet… he thought it was cool that I looked like his Australian Shepherd.”
She was smiling but Jamie could see in her eyes, ironically, that it bothered her — just another reminder of…
Dani cleared her throat.
“And you?”
She looked nervous now. Jamie took a deep breath. She’d known this day would come sooner or later. And the fact that Dani had opened up first just to make her feel more comfortable — well, she now had to fight through the lump forming in her throat.
“Kids didn’t think it was ‘cool,’ if that’s what you’re asking.” She laughed dryly, but she pressed on as she saw Dani wasn’t. “But, uh… it stopped once I started coverin’ it up. So I kinda just… ”
Dani nodded and reached across the table, took her hand and squeezed it. Jamie smiled.
“Honestly, I wasn’t really plannin’ on showin’ it to you… not so soon anyway, but… ”
Jamie cleared her throat and looked away. Dani smiled at her curiously.
“But what?”
Blushing, she turned back to Dani, scratching the back of her her neck.
“It felt nice… with your arm… ” Practically red now, she cleared her throat again. “So I didn’t move.”
Dani grinned. Jamie sighed.
“You’re, uh… you’re actually the only person who’s ever… ”
Dani’s smile faded until she was gaping. Jamie shook her head as she looked down.
“It’s not… I never… ” She laughed awkwardly. “Too shy to ask, I guess.”
“Jamie… ”
Dani squeezed her hand again, and Jamie looked back up. Dani smiled.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever… ”
Jamie’s eyes widened. Dani laughed.
“You think Eddie let me spoon him?”
Jamie laughed, then just looked at Dani for a few moments, her smile sharpening into a smirk.
“Just raw talent, then, Poppins?”
Now it was Dani’s turn to blush. Jamie squeezed her hand, then ducked under the table and popped up a moment later on Dani’s side. She brought her knees up to her chest, pressing her shins against the table, one shoulder against the booth and the other against Dani.
Dani wrapped an arm around her shoulder, leaned forward and kissed her scar. She heard Jamie stifle a sob as she pulled back a few moments later. For the next few minutes, as Dani rubbed her other shoulder, they sat in silence, aside from Jamie’s light sniffling and halting breathing.
“Hey, you wanna head out?”
Jamie nodded, wiping her face.
“We can change in the bathroom if you want.”
Jamie turned around to face her, eyebrow raised.
“Swap, I mean.”
She nodded at Jamie’s tank.
“Oh.” Jamie smiled. “Ya know, I think I’m alright.”