Work Text:
“What?”
1 word
The words had taken him so off guard he hadn’t realized he answered with such a sharp word in return. The way it so carelessly drifted out of his mouth immediately had him instantly regretting the fact that he spoke at all. But even amidst his external distress, Sonia Nevermind was nothing but patient. Like a daffodil bouncing in the wind.
“I said,” She bounced joyfully at his side, leaning forwards in a way that expressed her happiness.
“I love you.”
3 words
He couldn’t help but stare at her lips and watched as the words drifted out so effortlessly. Like nothing in the world could stop her from saying things that made his heart do backward flips in his chest. Surprisingly, he felt his voice caught in his throat. He was so taken aback at that moment that Gundham has seemingly paused mid-step, and began digging his heels in the sand of the beach. But something was off, she was inching closer towards his face that he was sure was redder than a ripe cherry. There was some kind of expectation he was not yet aware of.
“You love me too, right?”
5 words
His heart suddenly sank into his rib cage. Of course, she wanted him to say it back. That’s usually what couples do when they exchange those three words. But with guilt, his face sunk into his scarf and he looked away from what he could only assume was her disappointed face. In a timid voice, he replied.
“Of course I do.” But the Dark Lord couldn’t utter those 3 words in return. For some reason, his lips remained sealed and she was simply left with, ‘of course’. Which was not the same as ‘I love you, too.’ There was no assurance in his words, no sign of reciprocation, just simply, ‘Of course’. She was probably saddened, dejected, maybe she’d even slap him for wasting her time. He wouldn’t be surprised if she walked away and didn’t come back.
“Hey, Gundham?”
Here it comes. Maybe he’s secretly hoping for it. A price to pay for not responding so kindly towards her 3 words. But as he finally turned his eyes to face her own, he noticed that she was...glowing. The soft orange hue of the sunset painted her beautiful rosy cheeks and her golden hair that danced in the evening breeze. No sounds but the ocean waves crashing gently beneath them as the tide came rolling in. Something about this would have been romantic if he hadn’t ruined such a wonderful moment with the lack of his response.
“Yes?” He uttered softly. Timid, unlike his usual self.
“Let’s go eat, okay?” She moved once again to face him, There was no hint of sadness in her eyes, just that perfect smile he had come to adore and more. Had he not offended her in some way? If he had… he couldn’t tell. Perhaps he was just blinded by-
But before he could consider her feelings properly, she turned and walked away towards the center of the Island, her footsteps leading to the resort. She left him standing there to muse over the words lost on him. Stuck in the back of his head, chained and barred with a lock, it’s key long forgotten. As if by pure luck one could set it free. There was some distance between them now, and his heart ached with such foreign aptitude that made his body reek with shame.
Why couldn’t he say it back?
Say it back.
It’s only 3 words.
But even as his mouth struggled to move his heart sunk further into his stomach with guilt. Foolishly, as his jaw locked in place, he was left standing in a pit of his own failings.
________________________________________________________________
Dinner was silent between them. But she supposed that was her own fault, perhaps it was too soon to spring those words onto him. After all, he had been so hesitant before about even being more than friends. But she couldn’t help saying those 3 words. She will admit it stung worse than a wasp sting when he didn’t return the words. She really cared about Gundham but what if she was forcing her feelings onto him. What if it wasn’t the right time? Perhaps she ruined everything. She felt she couldn’t do anything right. She was a princess, after all, born and taught to be perfect. Yet how could she mess up something as simple as confessing her feelings? She must truly be stupid if she thought this would end with the two of them riding off into the sunset together. Was she that useless?
No, Far from the truth, however, the crippling fear of becoming a burden to her friends and people she cared for was at the front of her mind. She wouldn’t admit it, but Sonia was a little heartbroken. She thought she may have just ruined everything between them. Maybe, they were going to become estranged lovers, Just like Dr.House and Director Cuddy in that American Hospital Drama! She was going to cry just thinking about it-
“Miss Sonia? What’s wrong with your face!?”
The sound of Kazuichi’s voice suddenly broke her daydream and she responded with the tilt of her head like a confused puppy. “My face? Oh, Is there food on my face?” She asks, almost apologetically reaching for her napkin and wiping around her mouth to discard any debris she may have left behind while eating.
“No Princess, you look Hella bummed!” Kazuichi was never good at explaining himself properly. But there was still traces of concern on his expression. Sonia couldn’t deny, he was a good friend when he needed to be. Of course, that was only before he would selfishly make it about their one-sided relationship. It was just a matter of time before he said something gross.
“No, Everything’s fine.” She explains, narrowing her eyes suddenly to force a calm expression on her face. She was good at that. As a princess, she was taught how to control her emotions in front of others. She recalled her father saying it was unladylike for a daughter or son of his to appear in public, without strength or confidence. Even if it meant betraying herself, so that she may always remain wise in the eyes of her public. She was good at it too, and it’s partly why she owned the title of Ultimate Princess.
But her eyes… oh yes, her eyes, like windows into her own heart, would always speak volumes of truth. She could feel everyone staring at her, even Gundham admittedly who had sat on the other end of the table, closest to the window, was staring. They were worried. But Sonia wouldn’t break a sweat, she was good at this. She could do this, she was not just a useless princess. She would not let them think something was wrong.
“I was just thinking of a Hospital drama I’ve been watching recently.” Well, it wasn’t technically a lie, but she needed something to reassure them. Anything. She wanted to forget anything that happened earlier at all, and she didn’t want the others to know what a mistake she made.
“Really? Ya’ look totally sad!” Akane boasted, laughing afterward as she sank her teeth into some meat, and ripped it apart like a wild hyena. Ham, by the assumption that it was kind of a thick slab of meat.
“Well, it’s very sad!” Sonia feigns tears, dramatically she places her hands on her chest and pulls the bow around her neck with desperation. “Dr. House is a man who struggles with the deep innermost complexities of his emotions! He loves Director Cuddy with all of his heart, but he thinks he is too washed up and broken to admit that he truly loves her! So in turn he breaks off their relationship because he fears that he could hurt her! It’s so heartbreaking!!”
The group stared, unsure what she was really talking about but they smiled and nodded as usual. It seemed to work because they went on eating without so much as a second glance. Aside from Gundham of course, who she caught, glaring in her direction, out of the corner of his eyes. She was painfully aware of it but pretended she didn’t notice. “Man for real?” Kazuichi beamed however and saw this as an opportunity to flirt with their princess. “That sounds so sad.” He really didn’t care about whatever she was talking about but, if there was a way to worm into her heart he was going to take it. And this was the part of Kazuichi she hated. “That’s totally Us right?”
The group sighed, but Kazuichi ignored their second-hand embarrassment. Sonia tried to remedy the situation per-usual but it was going to get out of hand real fast. “N-no. I don’t think so. They become estranged lovers in the end.”
“Huh?”
“I think The director is even written off the show in the last season.”
“HUH!?”
“Yes, it was very sad, but it’s best for both of them. They could never work together, the two of them were bad in a relationship, even if they loved each other.” Sonia admittedly did not like that she had to say that. Speaking in circles, about things she related to herself was very tiring, and unhealthy, but even so, it was not her reality. So giving up on the thought was-
CLACK!!
Her train of thought suddenly crashed with the sound of wood clattering against the floor. The room turned their heads at the sight of Gundham who had got up so suddenly and without warning, it had stunned them to silence. His scarf and hair moved as if there was some unseen aura wrapping itself around the self-proclaimed demon. Everyone could feel this familiar dark, sensation oozing off of his body. Something that had once consumed every single one of them.
Despair.
The darkness had simply poured from the Lord himself and created this sick vapid air. They couldn’t help but inhale, and it was disgusting, but like second-hand smoke to a nicotine addict, they temporarily relished in it. But just like that...it was gone. His back was towards them, and without a single word, he headed towards the stairs without finishing his meal and refusing to make eye contact with anyone.
Sonia had reached out, her hand stretching towards his form, and shouted, “Gundham!?” In a concerned tone that made him visibly jump. But he did not turn around to face her. He left, leaving the room in visible tortured silence. Her hand slowly made its way back to her chest, and only softly now did she utter his name from her lips. “Gundham...”
“Geez what the hell is his problem.” Kazuichi of course didn’t know when to shut up. “Well, anyway, Miss Sonia! You and I are totally made for each other right? I mean that’s a T.v. Show and nothin’ beat’s reality.” She didn’t really appear to be listening, still staring off at the stairs like he was going to come back up any second now. But he didn’t. And Kazuichi kept talking. “Hey, Miss Sonia? Did ja’ hear me?”
“Please-”
“Shut the Fuck up Souda! God Damn it, can’t you read the Fuckin’ room!?” Sonia was about to tell him off herself but Fuyuhiko stepped in to save her. Everyone was always saving her. Couldn’t she just save herself for once? “Jesus man.” It was obvious to everyone but Kazuichi apparently that something was going on between them. But she was going to forgive him. Like she always did. They were friends… they had to stick together, for all their perfections and all their flaws.
“I can read the room!” Kazuichi shouted suddenly turning to Fuyuhiko and raising his fists like he was going to hit him, even though Mikan was sitting between them. She seemed to realize she was about to get caught in the middle of this and started to squirm in fear of getting hit. “Why don’t you just fuckin shut up you baby faced bitch!”
“P-please d-don’t fight!” She squirmed, tearing up instantly, but her cries went unheard as the two males got heated, and started crushing her when Fyuhiko grabbed Kazuichi by the collar of his jumpsuit and pulled the man towards him with unbridled fury.
“You wanna say that again Mother fucker!? Don’t fuck with me Souda, I know 50 different ways to kill you!”
“Young Master-” Peko called, placing her hand on the back of his shoulder calmly at first, not wishing to see Mikan suffer the brunt of their rage. But Kuzuryu was pissed.
“Shut up Peko, this is between me and this asshole!”
“P-p-please,” Mikan started to openly sob now despite the smile on her pretty face. “W-we don’t have to fight we’re f-friends.”
“Stop…” Sonia bit her lip, her pleas going unheard by the violent yelling across the table. She was unsure what to do at the moment, it was all happening so fast.
“Do it ya’ pussy!” Kazuichi shouts teeth barred as he reaches around Mikan to grab Fuyuhikos tie and choke him. “We all know you don’t have the fuckin’ balls-” Kazuichi’s words were suddenly cut off by a fist connecting with his face, and Mikans cries of terror that she ended up being knocked around between them. Kazuichi would lunge forwards to promptly return the punch, and the two began ripping violently at each other’s clothes to hit one another. Even Peko for all her strength could not rip Fuyuhiko away from the battle.
“Break it up, Break it up!” Then Nekomaru got involved, trying to break the two apart from Mikan, as they started choking one another. Kazuichi’s hands gripping his tie and grabbing at the short tendrils of blonde hair, and Fuyuhikos hands gripping around the bastard’s throat. Even as Nekomaru was visibly the strongest it seemed difficult to pry them away from each other.
“Enough!” Sonia suddenly raised her voice, catching the two men off guard. They both stared at her and then one another. Then slowly the two released each other, and Mikan as well. Tsumiki would sink in her chair, and let out a relieved sigh as she wiped her tears. They had never heard Sonia raise her voice like that, it had suddenly shocked them into silence, and overwhelming guilt.
“Sorry.” That was the best Apology Sonia would get from the Yakuza. He wasn’t good at showing his feelings...unless it involved cutting open his stomach, but, he wasn’t going to do that again. That’d be a bit overkill. He would sink into himself, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. He would interfere no further.
“Y-yeah...Sorry, Miss Sonia.” Even Kazuichi gave a genuine apology for his actions. But of course, he’d find some way to ruin it. “Ya know, I just wanted you to acknowledge my feelings or whatever.” What? Where did that come from? Sonia was a little shocked by the proclamation. She wasn’t sure what to say but the answer was definitely No. Absolutely not. “Come on… You like me too right?” He looks at her with desperation, pleading for her to say what he wanted to hear. But all she was about to do was break his heart.
“No.”
1 word.
“No?” He paused, and his eyes batted in confusion. “What do ya’ mean, No?”
“No, Kauzichi.”
2 words.
“No?” He looked a little angry, perhaps frustrated even more so. “Why No! Why Won’t you Acknowledge me!?” Everyone stayed quiet. They weren’t going to protect him from the truth.
“I don’t love you.”
4 words.
His world suddenly and completely shattered. He was absolutely speechless.
Without explaining further, she stood from the table politely and pushed her plate aside. “Excuse me, everyone, I’m going to retire for the evening. Thank you for dinner Hanamura, It’s lovely as always.” She simply bows her head and then leaves the restaurant, leaving a rejected Kazuichi to mull over her words. Everyone too was silent. Save for one.
“Man… This dinner is Hopeless.” Nagito says, closing his eyes and letting out a depressed sigh. For once, everyone agreed.
________________________________________________________________
“Stupid! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!”
He cries out, suddenly raising his leg to kick a small rock in the sand and towards the heavens. He heard a depressing Thunk, hit the water of the ocean, and let out a heavy sigh. “Don’t let it bring ya down, man! She’s just messing with ya’. Oh our princess, such a jokester.” He laughed, trying to tell himself that it was simply just an honest mistake. She didn’t mean to say she hated his guts. Of course, she didn’t. She loved him, she just didn’t realize it yet...Right?
Fuck. Who was he kidding? He ruined everything.
How could Sonia even like someone like him? He was just some greasy, smelly, oily, mechanic. He wasn’t that smart, even Kazuichi knew that despite claiming otherwise. He knew he was weird, he knew his thoughts about Sonia bordered beyond normal but he couldn’t help it. This was who Kazuichi was, maybe he was the lowest of the low when it came to men, but he didn’t deserve to be hated. Hell, let alone hated by one of them.
Fuck it was so unfair.
They were all horrible people who had done shitty fucking things. They destroyed the world for god sakes, They killed countless people and did absolutely disgusting things to humanity. They were Remnants of Despair. So why was he always treated like the Villian? They were all villains. They were all ugly. Even the beautiful ones, were uglier than shit. Even if they changed it didn’t change what they had done. It’s why it pissed him off so much. It's why it tore him up inside when everyone treated him like dirt beneath their heels.
Why was everything so unfair?
Sometimes he thought about just sinking into despair. Just a little bit, enough to throw away his feelings for Sonia so he could just block all this hurt out of his system. Even though he made a promise he wouldn’t do it. Even though he vowed to use his talent in the name of hope. He could let it take him for a few hours, like a drug addict, just to overdose and knock him out for an evening. He could run high on the adrenaline and maybe destroy a few trees with one of his machines. Just for fun, just for fun, wouldn’t it be fun? Just a little despair-
“Hm?”
Who was that? Kazuichi suddenly paused, his hands deep in the pockets of his jumpsuit as he stared ahead of him, and saw a familiar silhouette staring at the stars on the beach. The figure in question's shoes were discarded, and the pant legs of his jeans were rolled up like he had been soaking his legs in the water. But once Kazuichi realized who it was his face frowned heavily at the sight of Gundham. “Tch...It's him. Of course, it’s always him.” Something clicked just then in the back of his mind. It clicked. The reason for all of his pain, the reason why his heart felt like it had been stepped on. It was all this idiot's fault.
“Hey, jackass.”
He shouts, approaching Gundham and standing over him. It really wasn’t until Kazuichi spoke out loud that Gundham turned to face him. He was about to take all of his anger out on him but, Gundham looked so miserable he suddenly didn’t have the heart. He was scowling at him, not unusual, but his eyes were a bit pained. What the hell happened to him?
“Yes?” The words suddenly caught Kazuichi off guard. Only 1 word? No attempt to be bombastic, and say something about the ‘jack ass’ comment?
“What are you doing out here? At night, By yourself?”
“Thinking.” He watched as Gundham turned his head to once again face the ocean, his eyes, lost in thought. His hair gently dances in the breeze. It was wet, and over his eyes, perhaps he went swimming earlier.
“Thinking,” Kazuichi repeated, moving to sit down next to him, perhaps he could snoop a little into Gundhams private affairs. He wasn’t the most open when it came to his thoughts and feelings but maybe with a little hope, Gundham could spill something. He could get to Sonia through him. Maybe. “So watch’ thinking about?” Gundham turns his head again to Stare Kazuichi in the eyes with nothing but distrust. “Come on, don’t look at me like that, we’re friends! You can tell me anything!” Could he really though? Gundham didn’t believe him, not for a second, it was clear on his face that he wasn’t comfortable sharing his feelings with Kazuichi… but his expression softened anyway. For a moment, maybe he thought he could get this off his chest.
“Sonia… Said…” He couldn’t bring himself to say those 3 words. His cheeks pinked alone just by starting the sentence with Sonia in it. It made Kazuichi’s blood boil. It seemed like Gundham was now on a first-name basis with her and it royally pissed him off. But Kazuichi was being his friend right now, not a pissed off romantic rival. “Sonia Admitted,” Gundham starts again, closing his eyes, “That her feelings towards me were...genuine.”
Kazuichi was trying to connect the dots, What exactly did she say to him?
Gundham saw him struggling to comprehend his words and sighed heavily. “3 words.”
“3 words?”
“1st word. Opposite of Me.”
“...Oh! I !”
“2nd word. Opposite of Hate.”
“Love?”
“3rd word. You.”
“You?”
That one wasn’t riddled.
“Wait, she said ‘I love you.’? To you!?” He clenched his fist suddenly, trying not to get angry, but he was angry.
“Yes.” 1-word answer. “I couldn’t say it back… I choked.” He admitted with nothing but a knot of guilt in his throat, But Kazuichi didn’t care. He was so focused on the fact that Sonia was in love with fucking Gundham. It should rightly be him. “I believe I hurt her feelings… I’m not used to caring about others, but even still I fucked-” and just when he thought he could trust this man, Gundham was betrayed.
“She loves you!?” Without warning Gundham looked up and watched as Kazuichi lunged towards him in a fury, to strike him in the face. Gundam puts out his hand to successfully block the path of the punch, but to his surprise, Kazuichi expects that and uses his other arm to uppercut Gundham in the Jaw. The Dark Lord flies backward into the sand, But he’s tackled by Kazuichi before he can get a moment’s reprise. “How can she love a piece of shit like you!” He screams, arms flying as he gets on top of Gundham and thrusts another fist at his face. And then another, and another.
His eyes simply glowing with Despair.
Gundham is not gonna lay down and take it, however. With a sharp growl, he thrusts his head forward and cracks Kazuichis's skull with a head butt. Kazuichi cries in pain but he doesn’t care. He’s blinded with hate and Despair, and his fists are flying. Gundham uses his knee and thrusts it hard into the other man's stomach. His fist connects with his face and returns two more blows to match the one on his own face. But Kazuichi’s overwhelming despair has given him some extra strength. Nothing is holding him back, and Gundham knows as they wrestle in the sand that Kazuichi is going to kill him if he can succeed. Kazuichi know’s it too.
“I want her, I want her, I WANT HER, I WANT HER!” He cries, the two of them bruised from using one another as their emotional punching bags. Kazuichi suddenly gets the upper hand. No matter how much Gundham kicks and punches back, the Mechanic overpowers the dark lord as they rollover. He shoves his knee into his spine, and Gundham is momentarily stunned by the surge of pain down surging up his spine and into his head like the shock of electricity. Kazuichi gets him in a painful headlock, forcing him to bend backward. One arm is around his throat, and the other has gripped a full hand of Gundhams hair. But unfortunately, he’s in no position to move. Not if he didn’t want his neck broken.
“Son of a bitch!” Kazuichi pant’s heavy, his shark teeth sharp and pronounced as he watched Gundham become utterly still on the ground. But not with fear. Far from it. “What the Hell does she even see in you man!” His grip tightens on his hair, sadly the Dark lord notices he can only see out of his right eye, meaning the other was probably bruised pretty badly. Kazuichi was in a similar shape, his cheeks were red and his lips were swollen and bleeding. The two of them really let it out on one another.
“What the fuck is it!?” Gundham can’t see his face, but the crack gives it away that he’s in tears. “Why doesn’t she love me!?”
“Because...you don’t.”
His words catch him off guard, and Kazuichi’s grip suddenly tightens around his throat. He can feel Gundhams Adam's apple bob in his throat when he swallows. “Don’t say confusing shit to me! I d, I-I want I…”
“Souda do you not hear yourself?” His voice was as calm as ever. “You don’t love her. You want to have her. Your ‘want’ is clear that your feelings are only that of possession. She isn’t a thing Kazuichi… She’s a person.”
“You...You don’t..” His grip started to loosen, his teeth shut together tightly as tears pooled down his chin. “You don’t deserve her- She shouldn’t be with you! She doesn’t fucking deserve-” Kazuichi had hardly a second to react, Gundham taking his chance to roll them over and pin him down by sitting on his chest and using his knees to force his arms into the sand. One hand wrapped around Kazuichi’s throat, while his cursed arm shook violently. Like he was holding himself back. His scarf danced in the air to an unseen dark aura of pure darkness, with the full moon behind him shadowing his busted face. His eyes are pink with despair as he struggled not to kill the man he probably may have considered a friend, if he hadn’t punched him in the face when they were having a heart-to-heart, that is. He was quite scary to look at when he wanted to be.
“You think, I don’t already know that!?” He growls sweat dripping down the side of his cheek, as his pupils shrunk to the size of needles. “I’m cursed! I’m a monster! Sonia would be damned if she chooses to share her soul with a demon. I’ve committed countless atrocities, and I deserve no love or kindness. I do not even deserve death. Not even Hell would forgive me for the things I’ve done. The people I’ve hurt the lives I’ve destroyed! Make no mistake, I was never destined to rule this pitiful planet. I was destined to crumble beneath humanity's feet! That is what I deserve! Even now as I beg death to swiftly Take me, she spares me, but for what!? ”
Gundham has to catch his breath, his eyes close, and he suddenly crumbles, releasing Souda’s throat. Kazuichi coughs and takes in a deep breath of pure, sweet, oxygen, as Gundham falls next to him, laying hopelessly in the sand. But when he opens his eyes, his heterochromatic hues are full of sadness and defeat. Kazuichi beings to realize as he’s rubbing his tender neck...Gundham wants to die. It’s the most he’s ever gotten out of the dark lord and Kazuichi suddenly… feels bad. Gundham was always his rival. Not officially, only in his head, but even still the sight of him was so...pathetic. Kazuichi couldn’t help but take pity on him.
Yeah...maybe Gundham was right here. But not about wanting to die for it.
“So, What will you do Kazuichi Souda? Will you make me feel pain? Hurt me? Kick me? Punch me? I've felt it all before.” He watches as Gundham lifts his head as he sits up from the ground and on his knees. “Sonia will not be happy...but you will at least have your revenge. I’m used to it. I can take it.”
God. He couldn’t watch this.
“Man, Shut the fuck up.” Gundham frowns suddenly, staring up at the Mechanic as he brushed the sand off his neon yellow jumpsuit. “Come on. Are Demon’s really this pathetic when they’re feeling sorry for them ‘selves?” He kicked the sand out of his shoes, looking down to see the surprised look on Gundhams face. It was clear he wasn’t expecting Kazuichi’s kindness all of a sudden. “You look like shit man. Your bleeding ya’ know.”
Gundham would jump at that, reaching up to finally wipe under his nose, and realized his face was bleeding, and he got it all over his scarf which would now need washing. He smeared it across his cheek and looked down at the blood on his hand to frown, then closed his eyes and let out a huff of air. “Now, who’s fault is that?” He said in a somewhat cheeky tone.
“Come on. Let’s get Mikan to patch us up.” He already knew Sonia wasn’t going to be happy with the two of them when she found out.
Gundham seemed to agree. Their whole fight was really silly wasn’t it, he beat up Kazuichi because of it. Technically out of self-defense but he didn’t have to punch him that many times back. Over a girl too. How low could they be? Taking Kazuichi’s outstretched hand, he picks himself up and brushes sand from the back of his pants, and picks up his boots.
Kazuichi lets Gundham take his sweet time, looking away back towards the resort. He can’t help but feel guilty now as if some newfound realization had woken up inside of him. Maybe it was too soon to tell him but- No. He had to say it lest he fuck this up even more.
“Hey, Gundham?”
Gundams eyes rose to look up at Kazuichi with a bit of confliction. His words were kind of soft for a rigid mechanic. He didn’t answer, but What Kazuichi said next would stick with him for the rest of the night.
________________________________________________________________
“What were you two thinking! Fighting like this in the middle of the night! Didn’t you guys learn anything at dinner!?”
Mikan scolding them was a little strange, but she had been working on being a little more assertive with her words, So Gundham could say he honestly felt a sense of pride for her. Even if she was getting onto them for something stupid they did.
“Come on Tsumiki, It’s not that big of a deal.” Souda huffed. “Side’s it’s not like we killed each other.” But they almost did, so his point was almost invalid by saying that. But it's not like she knew that so he chooses not to bring it up. After their conversation, Gundham was left a little puzzled.
Mikan looked at both of them and suddenly started to cry while she was wrapping Kazuchi’s waist in bandages. He cried out in shock, jumping but immediately regretting it as his ribs were sore. “Why d-do y-you guys, a-always ha-have to b-be so m-mean though!” It couldn’t be helped. Mikan was just to caring for her own good.
“Good job Gundham, making girls cry your thing?”
“Ugh-” Gundham frowned, whipping his head around. “Don’t forget, you also injured me. I’d say we’re even, don’t you!?”
“Sure, Whatever man!” He laughed, giving Gundam a thumbs up just as Mikan finished patching him up. Gundham couldn’t help but roll his eyes, but his thoughts were suddenly cut off by Mikan standing shyly in front of him.
“U-Uhm...p-please take off your t-shirt.” She didn’t mean it in a perverted sense at all, but it seemed like just asking a man to undress in front of her, made her nervous. Normally he would be flustered as well, but Kazuichi was also shirtless so he didn’t feel so self-conscious.
“Very well.” His jacket had already been discarded so he was left in just his scarf, T-shirt, and a button-down. To which he discarded and neatly placed onto his jacket. Below his collar bone, he was even paler than he appeared. Due to his Albinism, it was hard for his skin to darken. Even in the sun. But Gundham seemed to have a hidden tattoo. A rabbit appearing in the shape of the moon on the right side of his chest, just above his pectoral muscle. Mikan seemed a little distracted by it at first, however, went about poking her fingers into his abdomen anyway.
It was very professional, and she was nothing if not polite as she checked for any signs of internal damage or broken bones. Nothing, just some bruising. But… a lot of bruising none-the-less. She seemed to be relieved and smiled at the two of them. “B-both of you are so lucky! Not a single broken bone.” She went to work, rubbing ointment on his bruises, and went about wrapping up his abdomen with bandages and medical tape. Next of course would be his face. Which he was a little more uncomfortable by her touching but he would stick it out until she finished. His eye was swollen, however, the only thing he was able to do for that was a pack of ice, That would have to heal on its own.
However, the three of them had become distracted by the sound of heavy footsteps running the door of the hotel lobby. In one motion, the door was ripped open by none other than Sonia Nevermind. Admittedly Gundham was just as scared as Kazuichi to face her, both of them assuming they would have until morning, but somehow she found out-
Hiyoko was also behind her. Ah. That's how she found out.
“Kazuichi! Gundham! Are you hurt!?” Before either of them had a chance to answer, she ran towards them with the Devas on her shoulders and looking over the two boys. Then without so much as a warning, she switched from worry to anger. Raising her hand she slapped both of them on one of the bruises on her cheeks! They both shouted in pain, and weekly held their faces, as their eyes respectively welled with tears from the sudden shock.
“Are you both out of your minds!? What is wrong with you too! Why were you fighting over me!?” She was angry, Rightly so, and despite the frown on her face, her eyes were somewhat glazed over with tears.
Gundham didn’t know how to answer her, but Thankfully he didn’t have to. Kazuichi was good at talking at the best and worst of times when others had lost all words. “Haha- How’d you know about that Miss Sonia?” Apparently, it wasn’t useful.
“I saw the whole thing!” Hiyoko laughs cheerfully, throwing her hands excitedly in the air. Even with the body of a grown woman she still acted like a child. “I thought it’d be funny to see her slap you guys. Turns out it was hilarious! Hahaha~”
“Little Devil,” Gundham grumbles clenching his fist and averting his Gaze. What was he to say? No there was plenty to say, an apology for starters. “I-”
“It’s my fault, Miss Sonia.”
Gundams eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, staring at Kazuichi in shock. Apparently, though he wasn’t the only one. Even Hiyoko is was excited to see some more fighting, was staring at Kazuichi like he’d grown several heads. Gundham was about to open his mouth to speak but Kazuichi’s hand abruptly grabbed his knee and the action alone was enough to stun him to silence. He really didn’t like being touched-
“I provoked him. I called him names, he hit me back out of self-defense.” That wasn’t entirely the truth but, Gundham wasn’t allowed to shelter part of the blame, apparently. Kazuichi wouldn't let him for some reason. “So if you’re gonna be mad at someone. Be mad at me. I deserve it.” A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead, as he stared into Sonia’s soul. Gundham was a little miffed that he was suddenly being so mature. It must have really torn him up inside to bite back his true feelings.
“Well…” Sonia then proceeded to sigh, then once again frowned, straightening her back like her the Princess she was. “I’m very disappointed in you Kazuichi! Gundham is your friend, and you don’t hit your friends! I hope you truly regret your actions.”
“I am sorry, Princess.” Standing Kazuichi suddenly bows low. She can’t, but Gundham can see this pained expression on his face, probably because He kicked Kazuichi so hard in the stomach. “I hope that you forgive me.” He says, then straightens his back, and grabs his undershirt from the coffee table nearby, and sliding it, and his jumpsuit back over his shoulders.
“I should be going.” Kazuichi, uncharacteristically robotic, and straight-faced suddenly turned to exit the hotel lobby. “I’ll see you guys in the morning, yeah?”
Before Any of them could process what happened, Kazuichi headed towards the door. But before he stepped out of the Hotels lobby he turned to glare directly at Gundham, gritting his teeth. “Don’t forget what I said, Tanaka.” Then he was gone.
The words had brought him back to their encounter on the beach that evening. He was boring pink eyes straight into Gundhams Soul. Something he was struggling with seemed to meld in both this twisted guise of hope and despair. As a remnant, they often relapsed so easily, but growth was part of the trial when searching for the forgotten spirit of hope.
“Hey, Gundham?”
Those words were spoken so softly and with a smile on Kazuichi’s face had stunned Gundham to silence completely. But he was not afraid to answer. “Yes?”
“You love her too right?” Gundams face bled crimson, and he tried to cover his hot face with his scarf. He was sputtering, a loss for words, trying to make excuses because he couldn’t say it. But Kazuichi wasn’t having that shit. Promptly he slams his foot on the ground catching Gundhams previously downcast eyes. “Hey! Answer the question dick. Do. You. Love. Her?!”
It took Gundham a second to properly answer. His eyes trembling as the gentle breeze caught his scarf and danced with it for a moment. The feeling of softness overcame his nervous heart, and even though he averted his gaze, the dark lord would nod his head.
“Yes...So deeply it’s painful.”
His eyes found their way back to Kazuichi’s who stared at him with both anger and...acceptance. Apparently, he could no longer look at the dark lord and turned his back to him. But he finds the courage anyway, as Gundham presumes, against his own heart. “Good. Then… You better tell her.”
Gundham jumps at that, visibly twitching. He feels his heart is skipping several beats at the thought of enacting a confession. One he didn’t think should be returned. He couldn’t help it, he let out a sharp, “What?” Almost breathlessly from his lips.
“I said, you better tell her.” Kazuichi turned so only the side of his face was visible. Looking back at Gundham and then the sand under his feet. “She really likes you, man. I may be slow...but I'm not that dumb you know. Give a guy like me a little credit. I know when a girl like that is smitten. She cares about you whether you like it or not. Which is why-” Kazuichi would suddenly turn and make a fist, clenching it in front of him as if he was going to sock him again. Gundham didn’t flinch, however. “If you break her heart, I’ll crack your skull open.”
Kazuichi resorted to threats, and yet… He was letting her go. It was oddly mature of him.
“You hear me? It’s 3 words!”
3 words Huh.
“Gundham!” Sonia’s voice brought him back to reality. He must have checked out for a moment because when he looked around the lobby They were alone. Mikan and Hiyoko must have left just a few seconds ago. “Did you hear me? I said the Deva’s were worried about you.” He looked down, and against her bosom were his four Deva’s staring at him with big wide, and worried eyes.
Silently outstretching his hands, the Deva’s crawled their way into them and he brought them close to his face. They gave him the equivalent of hamster kisses, and he couldn’t help but close his eyes and smile. He had left them in his hut, not that he was planning on fighting Kazuichi earlier, but it was their bedtime after all. Sonia must have gathered them for his benefit...That thought alone made his heart do flips.
It’s 3 words. Kazuichi’s voice rocketed in the back of his mind somewhat painfully.
“Thank you.” He utters out a soft thanks as he looks back up towards Sonia, and see’s how relieved she is, and yet pained. She’s not looking directly at him, but he can tell by the way her fingers flutter over her lips in thought that she wants to speak her mind. He supposed...they should talk. Talking wasn’t his strong suit. Most people assumed he was self-centered for simply avoiding the feelings of others and he wouldn’t blame them if they did. Even he was aware he was a difficult person to communicate with. But not this time… Healing starts when one started nurturing the old wounds. Maybe it was time to open his heart. “Sonia,” As he uttered her name, he set the Devas in his scarf and wrapped them up safely. “Sit please.”
The princess’s eyes widen a little as she watches the dark lord grab his shirt from the table and slide it over his head, then slid to the rightmost corner of the couch. He then crosses his arms, but she joins him, with almost this serious look on his face. The two of them are silent for a long time, as Gundham tries to find the right words without saying something incredibly forced or stupid. But as soon as he opens his mouth, he’s cut off by Sonia’s own voice. It was surprising enough he thought his words were possessed.
“I’m sorry.”
2 words.
She didn’t look at him, her greyish-blue hues quivering as she stares at her bright red shoes. “This is my fault.”
“Your-” He has to keep himself from laughing at the sheer audacity of her statement. “Nevermind, The blame does not belong to you-”
“But it is! If I hadn’t said anything before dinner, then you wouldn’t have fought with Souda. It’s all my fault for opening my mouth. I felt stupid earlier.” She never spoke like this. Her Princess persona was melting under her feelings, as she started to weep beside him. Whoops. Looks like he already royally fucked this up. Kazuichi was going to kill him for sure now.
His heart simply shatters when she turns to face him, her heart was crumbling in his hands. He had to pick up the pieces somehow. “Everyone was worried for me because I spoke out of turn with you. I mean, please forgive me, I do care about you but I should have known that it was too soon to say something like-”
His body reacted.
She was interrupted to completely and totally silent by the press of a kiss to her lips. Gundham had grabbed her shoulders and kinda just pulled her forwards. He wasn’t even thinking really about what he was doing but he did it. There wasn’t a trace of regret on his face, however, he was stunned. As was she. It was just a quick and small peck to her lips and somehow it was enough to dry her tears in seconds.
Embarrassed, however, a sharp groan left his lips, as he slapped a hand to his face, and sat back. “Ugh, I’m so sorry.” Poor Gundham was burning up, as he apologized profusely. He, out of habit reached for his scarf, but could not find it and grabbed his shirt instead and started to sink inside of it. “I don’t know what came over me, I wanted to cheer you up, but I-”
Laughter. Beautiful Laughter. Like the sound of bells chiming against a summer breeze.
Gundham lifts his eyes from his shirt and hesitates to look at Sonia but she’s just laughing. Not at him however, she looks completely overjoyed, and oh god does it set his heart on fire. “Gundham…” She speaks finally, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. The way she says his name tastes oh so sweet. Like butterscotch, which Ironically was one of his favorite candies. “I’m starting to think I may have overreacted a little. I’m not used to letting my feelings get the best of me like that. I should let you speak, yes?”
Way to tell the girl you love the shut up by kissing her. Normally he wasn’t so compelled but he couldn’t stand seeing her cry like that. However, now that he finally had the floor, he took a breath.
________________________________________________________________
“I should be apologizing to you.”
She watches as his head falls to stare at his lap. His fingers are twitching with apprehension. She knows that feeling all too well. Something inside of her told her this wasn’t going to be easy for him to explain. But she was here for him, and she wanted him to know that. Using her mighty princess powers, she reaches for Gundhams hands and pulls them into her own. “Gundham, It’s okay.” She watched his face relax as she tangled their feelings and squeezed his hand. They had technically been dating for a few weeks in silence, but this was the first time either of them had gotten this physical. It was nice, Sonia had to admit that they were making some headway. She didn’t think Gundham had to get beat up for it though. “I’m here, You can tell me anything you need too.”
She watched his eyes slowly close then open, he’s taking a deep breath.
3 words.
She wants to hear them, her heart aches for it. But…
“I can’t.”
2 words.
“Oh…” Her heart Sinks in confusion.
“You misunderstand.” He seems to sense her disappointment because he looks very guilty at that admission. “ I Physically can’t say…” As if making his point, he bit his bottom lip, and was struck with silence.
“Oh!” Now it clicked. “You can’t say those 3 words? Forgive me if I’m pressing too much but… what exactly caused this?” She didn’t want to pressure him into saying anything he didn’t want to, making him uncomfortable was not her goal in the slightest. But she wanted to help him, oh if she could.
It took him a few seconds to answer. Not knowing how to at first, but then, “My father was a demon.” Her face scrunched slightly, she was hoping he’d be more serious about this, but to her mistake, he was being honest. “It seemed I also gained his hereditary apathy because I have always had a difficult time showing care for others. Other children my age found it difficult to like someone who did not share a similar appearance either. Something I also inherited from my father.” He seems to be gesturing to his pale complexion.
“Doctor’s called it Albinism. There was no cure, and even the sun seemed to frown upon my features. She has always been cold to me despite showering the children of this planet with warmth and protection. It was a mixture of these things, that caused me to give up on those 3 words. Even my mother, who did nothing but care for me...I betrayed her. She was an angel, and I turned my back on the only person who could L…” His face scrunches in his shoulders tense. “I decided it was easier to turn my back on the world than face it, as it did me. However, They were right to do so. I am a monster after all.” Be smiles but it’s nothing but filled with bitterness. “It was fate I suppose. In turn, I blocked that out of my mind, and I must admit It’s been hard for me. I am adjusting to this new life, with hope on my shoulders, but I can’t say it. Despite my feelings, Sonia… My words always betray my heart.”
“Oh, Gundham,” She could almost weep, feeling sympathy for lack of a father figure. And the fact that children could be so cruel just because someone was different from them. But was that any different from how the rest of them ended up here? Becoming good at what they do because the world rejected them so, Losing their teacher, and then losing their dear friend in front of their eyes, succumbing to despair? Nothing about this group of individuals could surprise her anymore. They’d been through hell and back, literally. Of course, saying those 3 words weren’t just going to be easy for him. Now she felt bad for rushing to conclusions. “It is silly, isn’t it. This all could have been avoided if I considered perhaps that I was taking things too fast.”
His eyes seemingly widened at that, but his brows creased sadly. It was rare for him to make such a face, but Sonia made him do funny things. “There is no reason to feel bad. None of this is your fault. I admit I am difficult to deal with, But I want to be better. If there wasn’t ‘ any’, I wouldn’t be trying to remedy your heart.” Any? Love? He really couldn’t say the ‘L’ word, could he?
“No, it’s okay,” Sonia reassures him, by squeezing his hands. She brings them towards her chest and presses his hand to her heart. He becomes flushed at first embarrassed but realizes quickly her intentions are chaste. “You feel it right? My heart?” He could, under his hand he could feel the muscle pounding against her chest. It was almost concerning, how fast it was rocketing, he would have thought under any other circumstances she was having a heart attack, but that wasn’t the case. Slowly he nods, and she in turns clasped her hands over the one she’s holding against her chest. “It’s how you make me feel. It gives me headaches you know. It’s because I care about you so much.” Her eyes shimmered, and Gundhams heart was doing summersaults in his chest right now. How could one girl be so beautiful?
“I want to hear you say it. I do. It hurt’s me that you can’t.” She closes her eyes, and she feels him tense as she guides his hand up her neck to press against her cheek. She wants him to cradle her face with his hand, and slowly he adjusts his thumb against her cheek to do just that. She presses a gentle, but understanding kiss to his inner wrist. His heart was running laps, Jesus Christ- “But I’ll wait. I’m patient.” She suddenly raises her head, the determined princess stares at the dark lord with nothing but a precious smile. “Until you can, I’ll just have to say it for both of us. Er...” A pause. “Is that okay?”
Gundham breathed a gentle, “Yes.” Wow, he had the sudden urge to kiss her again. But he was a little too preoccupied thinking about how pretty she was.
“Then, I love you.”
4 words.
Silence, that wasn’t as satisfying as she thought it would be. She gave another dejected sigh. Gundham must’ve not have known how to reply, the poor guy was just burning up. He was distracted because she was letting him caress her face with his ‘cursed’ hand, and he was just thinking about how soft her cheek was. He then realized her dejected face and pulled his hand away, feeling as if it was an undeserved reward for not responding in Kind. “It isn’t the same is it.” He sighs heavily. It was just 3 words, but his jaw just, locked up.
Sonia pressed a finger to her chin in thought. There must be some way to communicate without saying it. “Oh!” As if a light bulb went off over her head, Sonia jumps onto her knees to face him. “Gundham, you know some languages right!?”
“Eh, oh,” He thinks. “Beyond Japanese? Some Spanish, French, and English.” He couldn’t help but smirk in pride. Few could say they were monolingual but Gundham was. He only started learning other languages because he wanted to use his animal blog to reach out to other parts of the world. But that was years ago now. “Why do you ask?”
“Are you familiar with ASL!?” She does a little dance in her seat, clearly excited.
“American Sign Language? I don’t know much, but I am familiar.”
“How about This. I,” She raises her clenched hand, and lifts her pinky,
“L,” Then her thumb and pointer finger,
“Y.” Then her thumb and pinky together.
3 letters.
“I, L, Y.” She repeats the actions, and thus Gundham slowly Mimics her hands. Together they spell the letters, and Sonia is overjoyed. He didn’t say it, but his hands did. And that was enough. She Signed again, speaking out loud, she wanted to say it out loud. “I. Love. You.”
However, this time instead of repeating the Motions she taught him, he raised his Pinky and thumb, and twisted his hand, gliding it back and forth.
“Ditto.”
1 word.
Sonia’s entire face flushed at that for some reason. She couldn’t help it, it took her off guard, and she covered her face and made an adorable squeal with her mouth closed. Was that all it took to make her happy? Wordlessly, Gundham leans forwards and presses a kiss to her temple. He deserved that much at least. “You should be getting to bed.” His eyes turned to stare at the clock on the wall. It was near close to 3 am. “You’re usually out at this time.”
But Sonia wasn’t ready to go back to her cabin just yet. Instead, she threw herself on Gundham and made his chest her pillow. He jumped in shock as he was forced down by her weight, “No not yet!” She says, stars in her eyes. “I can stay up for a few more minutes.” Without warning, she runs her hand up to his hand, then his arm, and rests against his chest. “I’m all bubbly now, and it’s your fault! You must take responsibility for swooning a Princess.” Oh Lord, have mercy on his soul. “Besides. You have to tell me what this is all about!” Smirking deviously she grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls it down to see that mysterious tattoo on his chest.
“Hey!” If he wasn’t already flustered enough she made it worse. She couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction. Perhaps she did it on purpose knowing very well he would get embarrassed. “Fine, I will tell you alone the majesty of this sacred marking, however in return you must rest.”
“My word is my bond.”
She falls asleep before he can even start telling the story.
________________________________________________________________
“This sucks.”
His groaning could be heard even from inside his cabin that morning. But even more so when everyone gathered for breakfast that morning.
“Quit your yapping. Your a man aren’t you? Men are supposed me strong!” Mahiru was walking at his side this morning, Hiyoko beside her of course but not completely awake as she couldn’t find it in her to berate Kazuichi. Mahiru was doing it for her. “It’s just a little bruise, toughen up.”
“Hey! Tanaka hits hard ya know, he almost cracked my ribs.” Kazuichi squealed, but it was more like whining. “Don’t I deserve some pity?”
“Didn’t Pig barf do that last night?” Hiyoko says, letting out a little yawn, and stretching her arms towards the bright blue sky.
“Whatever.” Kazuichi groaned as the three of them walked up the stairs to the second story restaurant and Came face to face with Fuyuhiko. Who started laughing at him, as soon as he saw him. “You too, huh?”
“Geez, you look like shit!” Peko was simply rolling her eyes behind him. However, nothing she wasn’t used to at this point. “Man, Tanaka has guts. He beat the shit out of you.”
“Really? Did you not see his face this morning?” That totally wasn’t fair. Why wasn’t Gundham getting picked on for looking like soft meat too? “Pretty sure I kicked his ass. It was a Mutual ass-kicking! Why aren’t you laughing at him!?”
“Already did.” Fuyuhiko states almost uncaringly. Kazuichi let out a soft, ‘Oh’ in response and sulked. “Just surprised, Tanaka had the Guts to hit you back. I mean, whatever. Yall fought it out so it's over and done with, but he’s so tame, even when he’s angry. He talks a big game, but I didn’t think he’d ever put his money where his mouth was. Though, I probably should have. We’re remnants of despair, after all.”
Kazuichi lets out a sigh and turns his head to stare at Gundham and Sonia across the room. Yeah, Gundham looked like shit, But Sonia didn’t seem to care. She was leaning into his side, and his arm was around the girl Kazuichi secretly wished was his arm around. They were sharing their breakfast with the Deva’s, laughing, and giggling. That should have been him. He watched Gundham suddenly do something strange with his hands, which made Sonia light up like a firework. Overcome with joy, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug prompting him to hide his face in his scarf. It was none of his business. It should have been him. That should be-
“Hey Souda!” A hand suddenly clapped his shoulder and he screeched in fear, which died like a needle scratching a record when he realized it was just Hajime. “Morning, It’s a nice day out, huh?” Nagito had been following close behind, seemingly waving at Kazuichi with his robotic arm as he walked past them and towards the counter, to eat some of Teruteru’s breakfast. The guy worked so hard, and it filled him with so much hope.
“Oh, Hinata it’s just you.” Souda clapped a hand over his stomach in relief. He looks up at his friend, still not used to seeing him with heterochromatic eyes. “Yeah guess so.” He responds, almost forced. He’s still a little upset about the end result of this situation, but Hajime is kind of beaming.
“You know, I heard what you did last night.” Of course, he did. Everyone probably knew at this point. Because why wouldn’t they. “I'm proud of you.”
“What?” Kazuichi’s eyes widened and he stares at Hajime in disbelief. “Tch. What did I do? I just beat up a nice guy and made his girlfriend cry. I don’t deserve any praise.” He scratches the side of his cheek and shoves a hand in his pocket.
“It was bound to happen.” What the hell- was Hajime serious? “Sometimes friends have to fight. It’s all apart of growing up, even if it is over a girl.”
“Yeah…?” Kazuichi didn’t know. He didn’t think about this stuff. “I still like her though...does that make me a bad person?”
“No.” Such a straight forward answer. “Sonia doesn’t hate you.” Geez, did the Ultimate Hope have the Ultimate mind-reading talent too? “Yep!”
“WHAT THE FUCK!-”
“Just kidding.” Hajime chuckles, it still scared the shit out of him though. “But really… She doesn’t. Kazuichi, we all have flaws. We can’t always be perfect all the time, No matter what our Ultimate Talents are. Those are just the burdens of society. Even the Ultimate Princess is far from perfect.”
“Huh! Yeah, I guess so.” Kazuichi stares at the table where he watches all their friends gather, a bit hesitant. After the way he acted, he had been counting on being cast aside like trash. It always ended up that way. “Is it… really okay though?”
“Kazuichi. Use your heart. Not your brain.”
“What- Are you calling me dumb!?”
“N-No!” Hajime winced, he didn’t mean it to come off like that. “Come on, Hanamura’s hard work is going to get cold.”
He patted Kazuichi on the back as he headed towards the table to join the others. Kazuichi stood by himself at the other end of the room, staring at the table, staring at his friends, staring at Sonia, then Gundham. They suddenly made eye contact with him and he tensed. Only to relax when both of them waved in his direction, beckoning him towards the table. Yeah, maybe it was okay. Jealousy was just a normal thing. It was apart of life. But he was serious about changing. He was serious about finding virtue in hope. They were all working hard to change. It would take some time, but he was determined to find it, even if it...even if it did mean Sonia would never look at him as anything other than her friend.
Yeah. He could do it.
He just had to let his heart do the thinking.