Chapter Text
The beginnings of a fire crackled to life, illuminating Tommy’s face as he sat down on the log. Tubbo sat next to him, tossing sticks on the campfire, a small smile appearing on his face despite how tired he looked. There were dark circles under both of their eyes, the past several weeks having taken incredible tolls on both of them. But at least they were together again.
The past few days had been filled with uncertainty. They’d moved into Tommy’s house together, and they’d talked here and there, but never about anything too deep. For some reason, the atmosphere was just...wrong. They could both feel in the air that they were too afraid to talk about everything. And so they didn’t, resorting to being casual with each other, though they could feel that something about their friendship had changed on a fundamental level. Neither of them liked it, but they were too afraid right now to go back.
“How was your, uh- how was your day today, big man?” Tommy finally broke the silence, trying to fill the space with something. They used to be comfortable in silence with each other.
“Good. I’ve been in Snowchester,” Tubbo said, nodding towards the coat he’d discarded by the fire, the snow almost entirely melted off of it by now.
“That’s good. I was…” Tommy shifted, trying to find a better position on the log they were sitting on. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the apple he’d been saving from earlier. He displayed it to Tubbo, the offer of it implicit in the gesture. “Out preparing.”
Neither of them needed elaboration on what ‘preparing’ meant. They were going to destroy Dream, or die trying. It wasn’t a realization they’d needed to grapple with; death was just a given at this point. Tubbo had accepted the plan quickly when Tommy proposed it to him. They needed those discs back, and Tommy was glad to have someone by his side who would aid him regardless.
“Oh. Yeah,” Tubbo muttered, taking the apple and looking at it, almost scrutinizing. His expression was troubled.
“What?” Tommy asked. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs, and looked at Tubbo, who avoided his gaze.
“I don’t know, Tommy.” Tubbo sounded so...wrong. His voice was hollow and unsure, like it had sounded on the eve of L’manburg’s final destruction. Like that of a leader finally sapped of strength and ideas, or perhaps just that of a kid who had been through too much, and was in way over his head.
“What do you not know?” Tommy swallowed. He was pretty sure he knew what it was. He was just delaying the inevitable.
“I don’t know about these discs,” Tubbo confessed, finally looking away from the apple to meet Tommy’s gaze. At Tommy’s crestfallen expression, he backpedaled, “I mean, I’ll do anything to help you out, Tommy. It’s us against Dream, right?” he smiled a little, and Tommy nodded.
“But-”
“ But ,” Tubbo continued, “It just feels so...I don’t know. Like we’re fighting for something and we don’t even know why. Do you get that?”
Tommy’s expression hardened, and he looked back into the fire. “No, Tubbo, I don’t. I thought you cared about them like I do.” He clenched and unclenched his fists, not quite angry, but irritated at the least. What he said that day was true. He doesn’t think the discs matter , he thought.
“I do care about them,” Tubbo reassured him, sounding like he was choosing his words carefully. “But...if we die, there won’t be any discs. We’ll be gone forever, you know?” He paused. “We won’t be able to do our secret handshake ever again.”
That got a nose exhale out of Tommy, but he didn’t look back up. The fire was starting to grow, and he concentrated on the flames licking at the air, casting shadows on the Prime Path. If he looked hard enough, and maybe squinted a little, Tommy could almost see Dream’s visage in the flame. Because fire was what he was. Something raging, all-consuming, unkillable. And it pissed Tommy off.
“Why do the discs mean so much to you?” Tubbo asked quietly, placing a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. It was a loaded question and he knew it. Tommy looked back up at his best friend’s scarred face, dimly lit by the firelight, and searched for the answer there.
To be honest, the thought had plagued his mind for many a dull, hopeless day in exile. Why was he still fighting for the discs? He remembered getting them, remembered fighting with Dream for them, remembered trading them for L’manburg’s independence. He remembered how proud Wilbur was of Tommy for that. He remembered vowing to get them back many a time, turning down the Presidency for it, a Presidency that had then fallen to Tubbo. Which he used to exile you , something in Tommy’s mind pointed out, but he shoved that thought down. I’ve forgiven him for that , he reminded himself.
What made them mean so much to him, though, was the question. The answer was simple, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. Because then it would be a stupid reason, and if there was anything Tommy hated, it was looking stupid.
But the fire would not tell his secrets, and neither would Tubbo. So now was as good a time as any.
“Because it was something you and I did together,” Tommy whispered, his throat tightening a little. “We listened to them together. Remember that time you danced so hard you fell, and then I laughed at you so hard I fell?” He smiled, and Tubbo smiled back at him. “And then we- we fought for them together, too! They’ve been with us since the start.” He sighed, fighting back the threat of tears in his eyes. “If I were to stop fighting for them now, what would that say about us?”
There was a pause as they looked at each other, both of them now unsure. Tommy had never really sat down to think about the discs before. Actually, he’d never sat down to think about anything that had happened to him. There was always something more to deal with. At some point, he’d just stopped trying to work through it.
“Our friendship isn’t determined by whether or not you have those discs,” Tubbo began.
“I know that.”
“Just listen. In case you didn’t,” Tubbo smiled at him, and then continued tentatively, like he was calming a wild animal. “We don’t have to fight for them anymore, you know. We can just be ourselves together. You have other discs. We could make new memories, maybe?” As if in spirit of that, he raised the apple and took a bite out of it. “We could hang this apple core in a frame on our wall,” he joked.
Tommy laughed. For the first time in a while, he felt something warm blossom in his chest. It was how he felt back when Wilbur rallied the Fifth Battalion for revolution, or when Tubbo appointed him Vice President of L’manburg. It was some sort of joy and pride that felt so much better after months of exile. Despite his uncertainty about everything, this moment was a good one.
Footfalls on the Prime Path caught both of their attention, and they looked up from their camaraderie to see who was there. Ranboo’s tall form emerged from the shadows into the firelight, the flames dancing in his unblinking eyes, momentarily entranced by the fire. He was holding a large amount of purple flowers in one hand.
“Hey, Ranboo!” Tommy greeted him, snapping Ranboo out of the blank stare the fire had induced upon him.
“Oh, hey, Tommy,” Ranboo returned, waving with the hand that held the flowers. Some of the petals fell onto the Prime Path, and Ranboo frowned down at them for a moment.
“What are you doing up here so late?” Tubbo asked. He yawned, almost on cue, and added, “It’s almost one A.M.”
“Oh, I don’t really sleep,” Ranboo explained, stepping a little closer to the fire. “I just came to gather some flowers for my place, um, at Techno’s…” he trailed off, glancing at Tommy uneasily. It was clear he didn’t want to hear about Technoblade right now. “Uh, purple is my favorite color. So...” he tried to recover.
“It’s got to be cold up there!” Tubbo remarked.
“Yeah, it is, actually. Would you mind if I,” he gestured at the log opposite the one Tommy and Tubbo sat on, “sat here for a moment? It’s a long way back.”
“Sure!”
“Thank you.” Ranboo sat down awkwardly, his legs much too long for the position he was in, and placed the flowers next to him on the log. After a few moments of silence where he adjusted the crown atop his head, he looked back at Tommy and Tubbo, and his eyes widened. “Oh my gosh, I’m not interrupting, am I?”
“No, we were just talking about the discs,” Tommy said, leaning back. It was a cloudless night, and the stars studded the sky. In Logstedshire, he’d tried in vain a few times to map them, maybe even find some of the constellations Wilbur used to tell him about. He always gave up out of frustration, but he could name at least one or two of them. Aries, Wilbur’s favorite, was off in the distance, looking down at the remains of L’manburg like it was disappointed.
“Oh,” Ranboo whispered.
“Don’t worry. I know you don’t like sides and whatnot. We were actually discussing…” Tommy shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we might stop fighting for them.”
“ Really ?” Ranboo exclaimed, leaning forward. “That’s-”
“Yeah, yeah, choosing people,” Tommy gave him a knowing smile. “I’m not entirely sold on it, but...I don’t want to lose Tubbo, that’s for sure.” With a conspiratorial lean in, he added, “Don’t tell him I said that, though.”
Ranboo laughed, and Tubbo elbowed Tommy in the gut, a grin spreading across his face. Soon they were all laughing at Tommy’s stupid joke, and it felt almost...cozy.
“Man,” Ranboo said as the laughter died down, “you guys are funny.”
“You should join us more often, memory boy,” Tubbo said, taking another bite out of the apple. “We have snacks sometimes.”
“I am a sucker for snacks.”
As the two of them spoke, Tommy looked back up at the sky. There was something so peaceful about the three of them being able to sit and talk, unhindered by Dream, or the discs, or anything, for that matter. For a moment, they could ignore the scars that had been left by the countless wars, both physical and emotional, and just relax. They were allowed to just be teenagers for once. Sitting around a fire, talking about stupid shit. Eating good food - God, how Tommy had missed good food - and not worrying about the sleep they’d be losing. We should do this all the time .
Tommy sat up straight.
We should do this... all the time.
“Tommy?” Tubbo asked, a note of concern in his voice.
“Hold on, I’m-” Tommy furrowed his brow. “I have an idea. I’m thinking, hold on.”
“Okay,” Tubbo sat back quietly, casting a concerned glance at Ranboo, who shrugged.
“If Dream won’t leave us alone,” Tommy scrambled to his feet, gesturing towards the crater where L’manburg used to be. “And fighting back against him is a surefire way of getting ourselves killed permanently…we need to go somewhere he can’t find us! Right?” He looked to Tubbo and Ranboo for support. They both nodded, though they looked unsure of where this was headed.
Tommy looked at Tubbo, whose eyes shone in the firelight, hanging on to every word Tommy said. “It’s not about the discs. It was never about the discs. It was about you and me, Tubbo, and it was about Dream trying to keep us apart.” Tubbo nodded, and Tommy continued. “Well...he can’t keep us apart if he doesn’t know where we are.”
“You’re not talking about starting another country, are you?” Ranboo asked suspiciously.
“No, no, no, my friend, that’s the great part!” Tommy whirled around to face Ranboo, and gestured widely with his hands. His heart was racing with the excitement of finding a solution to the problem that had haunted them for months. “No more countries, no more war, no more of this bullshit! Just the three of us. No sides.”
Tommy surveyed their faces, and he could see he still hadn’t completely convinced either of them. “Let me paint a picture for you, okay?” He gestured again, pointing around at empty space near the campfire, placing imaginary essentials. “A bee farm over there. A place for Ranboo’s pets there. A pond for fishing, a stable, Hotterer Girl …” at their confused faces, he waved that last part off. “Sorry. Getting ahead of myself.” With a sweeping gesture at his and Tubbo’s home, Tommy finished with, “our home - or homes, if you’d like - where nobody can ever make us fight a war ever again. What do you say?”
Tubbo’s grin could’ve lit the area better than the campfire did. “You’d do this, Tommy? No more discs? No more fighting, just...a life?”
Tommy offered his hand to Tubbo, who accepted. He pulled the other boy to his feet, and gripped his hand in solidarity. “Just us. A life.”
Tubbo’s expression was one of pure joy, something Tommy hadn’t seen in a long time. He gripped Tommy’s hand back, and they grinned at each other. As they let go, Tommy turned to Ranboo, who was holding the flowers almost nervously, looking up at them.
“What about you, Ranboo?” Tommy asked. He recalled the days in exile when Ranboo had shown him such kindness, despite barely knowing him. It was the least he could do, really, to invite Ranboo along with them.
“I don’t know, uh...I’d want to say goodbye to Techno and Phil, at least.” He stood to join them, looking down at them from his generous height. “Is that okay…? I do agree, I don’t want sides anymore. I just want people I care about.”
“Yeah, of course,” Tommy said. “Take all the time you need. I’m gonna need a few days myself, to think about the discs.” He glanced at Tubbo, who gave him a supportive smile, then looked back at Ranboo. “And we’ll gather supplies on the sly. Then we’ll leave, middle of the night, away from all of this. Write it down in your book, okay?”
“Got it.” Ranboo produced his memory book from his pocket and began to write.
“This Saturday. No more stupid shit. No more Dream . Just us three.” Tommy looked towards the L’manburg crater, his mind racing with alluring thoughts of leaving it all behind. “Forever.”