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“Listen up everyone, I’m in a bit of a bind here, and I need you all to be prepared ahead of time,” Principal Glascott says, entering the teachers lounge. Lainey, CB, and the rest of the staff hardly acknowledge his presence, too used to hearing announcements that sound urgent but actually aren’t in the scheme of things.
“What is it this time?” Coach Mellor grunts in between pulls from his beet juice.
“As of next week, our school nurse Mrs. McCready will be away at the Eastern United States School Nurses Conference, so we will be forced to persevere through her absence,” Glascott says.
At that, the entire room raises their heads in shock, protesting.
“You can’t be serious!”
“Not after last time!”
“No way, I will not be having a repeat of two years ago. Consider me out sick for next week Glascott.”
“What’s the deal with no school nurse for a week?” Lainey asks CB under her breath. CB turns to her abruptly.
“What do you mean, what’s the big deal? It’s a very big deal actually!”
“Yeah, no school nurse means everyone’s gonna be coming to us for everything. And I mean everything ,” Coop says, looking over at them. “I’m talking every slacker wanting to cut class or get out of a test. Every scrape and bruise in gym class. And don’t get me started on the periodic lice checks and virus epidemics this school is beset with.”
“You know, we’re about due another outbreak. It’s been three weeks since our last one,” CB says, sounding distressed.
“Anyway,” Glascott says, heading out of the room, “in anticipation of our needs, I’ve been making some calls in an attempt to rustle up a fill-in nurse for the next week, and boy, I’ve talked to many promising candidates.”
“Really? And have you found someone?” asks CB.
“No,” Glascott says, smile falling. “That’s why I’m asking you all. If you know of any medical professional up to the task, please let me know.”
“We’ll be sure let you know,” CB says, smiling and waving at Glascott as he hurries away. “Well we’re all in for it,” he adds, expression bleak. “I can’t think of anyone. Oh wait, Coach what about your lovely lady friend? It’s perfect, she’s already been the school nurse.”
“No can do CB. The heavenly nurse Julie is working doubles for the foreseeable future,” Coach Mellor replies.
“Well, we’re officially doomed then. I’m making a trip to CVS tonight if anyone wants to stock up on supplies with me,” Coop offers.
“You know,” CB begins hesitantly a few minutes later, “I just thought of one other person who is astoundingly overqualified to be a fill-in school nurse for a week.”
“Really, who?” asks Lainey.
CB gives her a duh look. “Your boyfriend.”
“What? No way! Barry? I don’t think so,” Lainey scoffs, scooping her last bite of chocolate pudding into her mouth. “I mean, just because he’s taking a little time off until his position opens up at the hospital here doesn’t mean he should step in. That would just be, just be weird.”
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what the alternative is going to be,” CB says lightly, shrugging as he makes to leave. At CB’s exit, the other teachers in the lounge begin to speak up.
“Lainey, I’m begging you,” says Coop. “ Ask your smart doofus of a boyfriend to be the school nurse.”
“I’m not too manly and jacked enough to admit it’s incredibly likely we’ll need his help if we hope to get through this ordeal unscathed,” Coach Mellor says in between bites of trout.
“Please, Lainey,” Ms. Cinoman begs.
“Alright alright! I’ll ask him tonight!” Lainey caves, hurrying off to class.
“Doctor Barry Norman Goldberg reporting for duty,” Barry announces, entering Principal Glascott’s office before school on the following Monday.
“I tried to convince him we could just head to the nurses’ office without seeing you first, but he insisted,” Lainey says, entering the office behind Barry.
“It’s no problem,” Mr. Glascott says, standing up to shake Barry’s hand. “I trust you’ve been made aware of what you’re up against by taking this position for the next five days.”
“Of course, Lainey told me everything I needed to know, which was nothing. I’m super happy to be back at the school that made me the incredibly awesome radiologist I am today. And what could be better than getting to see the love of my life at work and at home? Nothing.”
“Well, I certainly hope you’re up to the challenge Dr. Goldberg,” Glascott says, looking only a tiny bit uneasy at Barry’s enthusiasm.
“Absolutely, piece of cake,” Barry assures him.
“I’ll just show you to the nurse's office then,” Lainey says, ushering Barry from the room.
Lainey is surprised to find the school nurse's office looks almost exactly as it did when she was a student. It’s only a small room at the end of the art hallway. The walls are adorned with the same faded posters saying things like “head lice is not nice” and “drugs kill”.
“This will do nicely,” Barry says, surveying the counter area and opening up cupboards. The rest of the space is taken up with two narrow cots, an exam table in front of the window, a rolling stool, and a divider curtain.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll get to class then. And I’ll meet you for lunch in the teacher’s lounge?” Lainey says.
“Of course, I’ve always wanted to eat lunch in there,” Barry replies, coming over to kiss her. Lainey nods, reminding herself everything’s going to be fine as she heads out the door. A few students are already shuffling past, yawning.
She goes and teaches her first two classes of the day then, plus homeroom. She’s not nervous exactly. She trusts Barry’s abilities without a doubt. It’s just. She’s only realizing now that she’s never seen him at work, never seen how he interacts with patients. He’s told her tons of stories since they’ve gotten back together and he moved back to Jenkintown sure, but she doesn’t have a lot of firsthand experience with doctor Barry. And she’s desperately hoping everything goes smoothly.
When the bell for her lunch period rings at last, Lainey races down to the teacher’s lounge. It’s a nerve racking few minutes until Barry saunters in in his typical outfit of a multi-colored rugby shirt and jeans. She’d had to reassure him multiple times that morning there wasn’t a dress code for the school nurse, so he was free to give the scrubs a break.
“So how’s your first day going?” Lainey asks, nibbling nervously on her turkey sandwich.
“Couldn’t be better,” Barry says, taking the seat across from her and pulling out his own turkey sandwiches. They both agree it's a superior packed lunch choice. Lainey perks up.
“What have you done so far?”
“Oh, not much really,” Barry shrugs, “ administered some medications, busted some dude called Caleb Forest and his buddies when I caught them skipping their science test, the usual I'm assuming. Oh and after lunch I’m checking the entire sixth grade class for pink eye for some reason. They’re so adorable, don’t you think? Even with their red, gunky eyes,” he says, cheerfully relaxed.
“I guess so,” Lainey sighs, relaxing back into her chair as she and Barry move onto other subjects. How could she have been so on edge about this? This job has got to be a breeze for him after nearly ten years in medicine.
She’s opening her classroom door at the end of second period on Tuesday to let everyone out when Amy, a shy 7th grader with glasses, shuffles over to speak to her.
“Ms. Lewis?”
“What’s up Amy?” she asks, wondering if she’s got a question about the choir practice after school. They’re rehearsing for the winter fundraising concert on Friday.
“Is-is the new school nurse your boyfriend?” she asks, looking not at Lainey, but at her own scuffed tennis shoes. Lainey can see she’s bright red in the face.
“Yes, he is. Why do you ask?” she says slowly, wondering what Amy's getting at.
“He’s really nice,” Amy says, looking up at Lainey’s face for only the briefest of moments before practically running away.
“Thank you?” Lainey says to Amy’s retreating back.
After the moment with Amy, she starts to notice it a lot more. Groups of girls giggling and not-so-subtly pointing at her as she passes by in between classes or running errands. In the cafeteria an entire table of them abruptly stops talking as she walks by with her tray. Her instincts are telling her they’re all talking smack about her, but she’s not sure what it could be about. Maybe they’re just complaining about the song list for Friday’s concert. No amount of protesting is going to make Glascott approve of all their selections. I mean, “Baby got Back”?
The situation becomes all too clear that afternoon. She’s just heading toward her classroom for the last period of the day when she spots Barry hurrying down the hall toward her. He passes a clump of girls still standing at their lockers, who giggle madly as he passes, watching him go for entirely too long.
“Hey babe, no time to talk, medical emergency,” Barry calls as he passes by with a wave.
Well she can’t say she was expecting this to happen when Barry agreed to be the school nurse for a week.
She decides to bring up the subject that night, over her and Barry’s dinner of cheesesteaks. She’s dying to know if he’s noticed the sheer number of adolescent girls fawning over him. She knows she’s biased in her opinions, but she wonders what the girls of the 1990s see in him that girls definitely didn’t in the 80s. She can’t deny they have taste.
“So, uh, what do you think of the moody adolescents I teach on a daily basis now?” she begins, hoping her approach is subtle enough. Barry doesn’t seem to suspect any ulterior motive when he replies.
“I can see why you come home so exhausted most days. Some of them are really great, though. I mean, not as cool as I was back then, but still.” Lainey scoffs, shoving at Barry’s arm before continuing.
“You didn’t happen to meet a girl called Amy, did you? Really shy, long blonde hair, glasses,” Lainey asks, sinking further into her apartment's couch. She’s got her feet resting in Barry’s lap.
“Amy...Amy...yeah that rings a bell. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason really. She's one of my best students and seemed to know you and I wondered what happened.”
“I’m afraid Amy made me swear not to tell anyone, but rest assured I think she’s gonna be fine,” Barry says, smiling as he pats her ankles before getting up and heading into the kitchen.
“What do you mean she swore you to secrecy?” Lainey jumps up and follows him.
“I mean, it’s none of your business. It’s between me, her school nurse for the week, and her,” Barry says, silencing her with a kiss. Well, several kisses.
It’s Wednesday morning when the plague hits.
“Alright people, you know the drill. We’ve got Johnny Atkins on standby with disinfectant and the all-important vomit absorbing sawdust," Glascott says during the all-school emergency meeting in the teacher's lounge.
“Gotcha covered, teachers and staff,” Johnny says, proudly holding up a large bag of the stuff. The room at large cringes.
“And thank God, we’ve got Dr. Goldberg on hand, so send your sick kids to him. I wish you all luck and get back to class.”
“I was afraid this day would come,” says Lainey. “This better not interfere with the winter fundraising concert. We’ve all worked too damn hard on it.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine, stay positive,” CB says. “Let me know if there's anything at all I can help you with.”
Lainey eats lunch without Barry, who’s having to spend it in the nurses’ office with all the sick students. She’s soon joined by Wilma and Liz Flemming instead, who both look a little less frazzled than she expected them to, considering the plague running rampant through the school. They happily take the empty seats at her table.
“I have to say Ms. Lewis, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by your gentleman friend this week. It’s very refreshing to see a young man outwardly display as much compassion and patience , qualities which are typically associated with the so-called ‘gentler sex’ ”, Liz Flemming says, taking a bite of her salad.
“Thank you, I think,” Lainey says, trying to mask her surprise at the comment. Liz Flemming doesn’t typically have much to say to her.
“I admit I was a little nervous at the prospect of another flu epidemic on our hands," Liz continues, "but when Mr. Sackoff began tossing his cookies in my Algebra 1 class and I called your Dr. Goldberg in, he was as calming and professional as I could have hoped. He had the situation firmly in hand,” Liz continues, nodding her head in a satisfied way.
“I agree,” Wilma chimes in, “ normally I would tell the kids to buck up and give them a lecture on epidemiology, but now I just call for Dr. B.”
“Wow, um, thanks guys,” Lainey says. I’ll uh, let Barry know you think he’s doing such a good job.”
“I’ll be sad to see that strangely competent man go,” Wilma sighs wistfully, with what Lainey knows is a dreamy look in her eyes not unlike a teenager in love.
“Okay, this is getting a little weird. I’m going now,” Lainey says, making a quick exit.
Wednesday stretches long and tiring. Between all the students getting sick and after school rehearsal for the concert, Lainey only has the energy to sleepily eat dinner on the couch before falling into bed that night, which works out alright, since Barry’s similarly dead to world in the bed next to her when she does climb in beside him at last.
“Night baby, “ she whispers sleepily, curling up against his back.
By Thursday, things start getting a little weird. Weird, and terrible. Lainey and Barry arrive at school together that morning, but then she doesn’t see him until after school. She’s walking past the lockers outside the gymnasium when she spots Barry headed in the same direction.
“Hey Dr. B,” Ronnie says, high fiving Barry as they pass in the hall. Ronnie’s dressed for practice and heading into the gym.
“Ronnie my dude, good luck at the game,” Barry replies, returning the high five with enthusiasm before continuing around the corner leading to the auditorium. Lainey rushes to catch up with him.
“Since when does Ronnie call you Dr. B?” she asks when she gets close enough. Barry turns around in surprise.
“There you are Lainey love. I haven’t seen you all day. But to answer your question. I've found it's a lot more approachable than stuffy Dr. Goldberg. It’s also a lot cooler. I’m Doctor Barry around the shy, quiet types, he says, looking pleased with himself and as if he’s shared some piece of insider knowledge.
“I’m impressed and a little shocked honestly,” Lainey says, pulling him in for a hug, “how is it you’ve managed to win over everyone in this school so quickly? I mean, you’ve even got Liz Flemming singing your praises.”
“It must just be just my natural charm you know,” Barry grins.
“Yep, totally,” Lainey laughs, pulling away. “I’ve got to get to rehearsal, but I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Yeah, see you later,” Barry says.
Lainey heads into the auditorium to rehearse with her students for Friday’s fundraiser, and that’s when things begin to head even more downhill. Not only have her students been sent home sick for the past two days, but now she finds there’s not enough yellow and blue streamers for the stage decorations so she’s going to have to rush to the party supply store before they close tonight, and the programs she printed off in the copy room have the word “fundraiser” misspelled.
“Frondraiser, what’s a frondraiser?” she asks, setting the programs down on the stage in despair.
“Maybe we can fix them all real quick with a sharpie?” Ben proposes with a shrug. He and the rest of her students are hanging out, doing warmups.
“I’ll figure something out guys, it’ll be fine,” she says, plastering a smile on her face. She can’t let everything going wrong get to her. It’s not the kids’ fault after all. “Let’s get to practicing. Where’s Sophia?”
“Dr. B’s office,” Christie says, “she said she won’t be able to make rehearsal today.” Lainey tries not to sigh at the news. This is not good.
When rehearsal is over she heads down to the nurses office, hoping to find out whether she’ll need to reassign Sophia’s parts in the program or not. And also, she’s dying to vent to Barry about everything.
“Can I talk to you?” Lainey says, pushing through the door to the nurses’ office, which is shut. Inside, Barry’s sitting on the rolling stool, writing on something at the small desk. The curtains are pulled around one of the cots.
“Hey Lainey, how’s it going?”
“I have a problem---”
“I’m with a patient, so it’ll have to wait I’m afraid,” Barry interrupts, standing up and going around the curtain. Lainey follows him. On the cot, curled on her side and covered with one of those old scratchy brown blankets Lainey’s always hated, is Sophia Delamo, one of her star sopranos.
“Oh no, not you too,” Lainey says. At this rate, there’s going to be no one left to sing at the fundraising concert.
“Don’t worry Ms. Lewis. It’s not the flu,” Sophia says softly, rubbing a hand over her stomach. She throws a nervous look to Barry.
“You can tell her, Ms. Lewis is cool. She’ll keep your secret no problem,” he reassures her. Sophia seems to take courage from this. She nods again before looking at Lainey.
“I’ve got really bad cramps,” she confesses. Lainey blinks once in surprise before hastily reassuring her.
“Oh, well that’s okay. Please, don’t feel bad about missing rehearsal, seriously, I totally get it,” Lainey says, hoping she sounds comforting and not obviously relieved she’s not down another student. “Hopefully you’ll be feeling better for the concert tomorrow?”
“Absolutely,” Sophia smiles weakly.
“I’ll just, I’ll leave you in Dr. B’s hands then,” Lainey says, ducking back around the curtain.
When Barry reappears she tells him, “just to let you know, I’ll be home late tonight. I’ve got way too many things to do before the concert.”
Before he can reply however, a student in a basketball uniform comes stumbling in looking green around the gills and Lainey decides to make a quick exit.
“Let me know if I can help," Barry calls to her retreating back. "And don’t work too hard,” Barry says, moving to help yet another sick student.
By Friday, the situation is growing steadily desperate. Her students are asking to be taken to the nurses’ office at a rate of two to three per hour, and Johnny Atkins has reported he’s running dangerously low on sawdust. To top it all off, Lainey's running on precious little sleep and food. She's simply had no time since getting home super late the night before after solving the decoration shortage, then staying up for hours fixing the misspelled programs.
“Alright, let’s do TLC “Waterfalls” once again, from the top. Sophia, your lead now,” Lainey says, hurriedly flipping through sheet music to find the right page. The amount of changes she’s had to make to accommodate her diminishing choir has had her scrambling for days.
The students get through that number successfully, more or less, but struggle when it comes to “This Land is Your Land” (it was Glascott’s idea).
“Ben, you’ve got to sing more from your diaphragm. You and Elizabeth both, actually,” she says, halting the third run through. She wipes sweat from her brow as she steps around her music stand and into the center of the room to demonstrate.
“Like this,” she says, singing to show them what she means. Normally singing like that wouldn’t be much of a challenge, but she finds she can’t quite catch her breath.
“Ms. Lewis, are you okay?” Elizabeth asks, forehead crinkling in concern. She’s not the only one, her other students are looking at her nervously.
“Of course, I’m fine,” she smiles, laughing them off. She notices the hand she brings up to her forehead is trembling. She takes a step or two back toward the podium, looking ahead to see the blackboard and everything swirling around her.
“Ms. Lewis!”
“…Lainey…”
“Lainey, you in th---everyone try to stay calm, she’s going to be fine…”
Lainey blinks awake, staring up at the drab ceiling tiles of her classroom and at Barry, who’s hovering over her.
“See everyone, she’s already waking up, “ he says, looking away from her for a moment. The anxious whispering that fills the room grows a touch quieter.
“Lane, you awake? Can you say something?” Barry asks, and she feels his warm hand in hers. His other hand reaches out to brush a piece of hair out of her face.
“What happened?” she rasps. She doesn’t know why she’s laying flat on her back with Barry kneeling next to her.
“You passed out, but it’s okay, you’re gonna be fine. You just have the flu. And possibly a concussion, but I haven’t checked you over for that yet,” he says.
“Do you want to sit up?” Barry asks. Lainey nods, and he slowly props her upright, positioning himself behind her so her head’s resting in his lap. The change in position makes her head swim for a second, but when the sensation passes, she sees her students all sitting in groups, staring at her anxiously. Barry knows just what to do.
“You, Ed and friends, go down to my office and grab a juice box from the mini fridge,” he orders. Ed and three of his friends rise to attention.
“Yes sir, Doctor B,” they say, clamoring off the risers and out the door. Barry turns to a group of girls whispering to each other.
“Jessica and girl posse, I’m going to need Lainey’s coat and purse from her office, go go go,” he says, watching as they rise and hurry off.
“We’ll be right back, Ms. Lewis and Doctor B!”
With those groups gone, there remains only a few stragglers who exit the room behind them, and Lacy and her friend Amy, one of Lainey’s best singers and the one that approached her in the hall on Tuesday. Amy’s currently sitting on the highest riser in the corner, sobbing into Lacy’s shoulder. Clearly, Lainey passing out mid-rehearsal has been traumatic for her.
“Barry,” Lainey says, tugging on his sleeve to draw his attention to the pair. He understands what she wants immediately.
“Amy, right? he calls, “come over here, I could use your help.” Amy stops crying quite so loudly and looks up from Lacy’s embrace.
“Me?” she asks, wiping her eyes.
“Yes you, c’mon over,” Barry beckons her over with his free hand and Amy obeys wiping her eyes.
“Now I just want you to sit here, right where I am and help Ms. Lewis stay sitting up if she needs it, right just like that,” he says, shuffling out of the way so Amy can take his place.
“We’re sitting you up all the way now,” Barry says then, pulling Lainey upright. She doesn’t feel as terrible as she thought she might at the change in position, but she still feels shaky and ill.
“Good? Good. Now if I can just find my stupid penlight,” Barry begins muttering, searching his pockets until he produces a penlight from his jeans, clicking it on. He has Lainey follow the light with her eyes as he checks for concussion before clicking it off.
“You’re gonna be fine, baby. Your head’s as beautiful as the rest of you,” he smiles, leaning in to kiss her forehead. Behind them Amy blushes scarlet.
“We’ve got the apple juice for you,” Ed says, running back into the room with his friends. Almost at the same moment Jessica and her girl posse come running in with Lainey’s purse and coat.
“Here you go Ms. Lewis.”
“Here’s your stuff.”
“Thank you Ed and friends, Jessica and girl posse, now please kindly vacate the room so me and Ms. Lewis here can have a little privacy,” Barry says. The kids all look to Lainey before shuffling out, Amy too.
“Here drink this, and then I’ll take you home,” Barry says, poking the straw into the juice box and handing it to her. Lainey takes a cautious sip, then another before her brain catches up with the rest of her.
“Wait, no way. I have to do the concert tonight.” she says, setting the juice aside.
“Nu uh no way you are,” Barry shakes his head, moving to grab her coat and purse where Jessica left them on Lainey’s desk. “We’ll figure something out, but you're in no shape to do this concert.”
“But--”
“No.”
“But--”
“No.
“Ms. Lewis?” a voice says from the doorway. It’s Sophia, poking her head in. “Don’t worry about us, we can handle doing the concert by ourselves. You’ve already done so much to get ready.”
“Yeah, we’ve got this Ms. Lewis,” Ed says, poking his head in next to Sophia’s. More of her students follow, leaning into the doorway to be heard.
“We can do this.”
“Yeah, no worries Ms. Lewis.”
Lainey sighs in defeat. Looking up at Barry. A knowing grin is forming on his face.
“Alright guys. I trust you,” she says, her students cheering and fistbumping in triumph.
“Now that that’s settled, let’s get you home now.” Barry says, moving to help her stand.
Barry gets her all the way to the front door of their apartment before Lainey feels bile rise in her throat and rushes down the hall to the bathroom. She hears the clunk of Barry’s car keys as he tosses them on the hall table before she’s pushing open the bathroom door, sinking to her knees, and practically vomiting her guts up. It’s only when she’s finished that she feels his warm hand rubbing circles into her back.
She exhales shakily, eyes closed, flopping to the side to sit pushed up against the side of the bathtub. The cold tile floor feels kind of nice against her flushed skin.
She opens her eyes again to see Barry sitting in front of her, folding a damp washcloth up and beginning to wipe her forehead and cheeks with it. He meets her gaze.
“I was so scared when your students came running in, saying you’d fainted in the middle of rehearsal,” Barry says.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Lainey says, her voice little more than a whisper. It’s sore now from the vomiting.
“I know you didn’t, but I was freaked anyway,” Barry says with a shrug. He stands up to rinse the cloth out in the sink.
“I can’t believe I’m missing the concert,”Lainey says, her head flopping back to rest awkwardly on the hard side of the tub. She feels Barry sit down next to her.
“It’ll work out, Ms. Cinoman can handle it,” Barry says. She feels him take one of her clammy hands and wipe it down with the warm cloth. It feels nice.
“Ms. Cinoman?” she asks, moving to look at Barry.
“She even promised to tape it so you can watch when you're feeling better. I called her to cover for you.”
“Oh Barry,” Lainey begins.
“Tonight, your only job is to lay in bed, watch Singled Out with me, and let me nurse you back to health like the phenomenal doctor I am,” he says, wrapping his arms around her from the side. She tucks her face into his neck, thankful for the millionth time he’s there with her.
"All I heard all week from everyone is how wonderful you are, and I have to say I agree," Lainey says into Barry's neck.
"You don't say," Barry replies, chuckling softly. If Lainey felt better she'd be laughing too because she knows how thrilled he must be by what she just said.
By Monday morning she's feeling well enough to return to school, and she notes with some disappointment that the school nurse Mrs. McCready has also returned from the conference.
"Like I said before, I'm going to miss having Dr. B around here. It's just not the same without him," Wilma says over lunch.
Lainey sighs, taking a sip from her coffee.
"You'll get no arguments from me."