Chapter Text
WARNER SIS. presents
in association with NETFLIX
a NETFLIX ORIGINAL
inspired by EMILIA EDITS and EMILY MEAGHER on YouTube
NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS
starring MISHA COLLINS
SYDNEY IMBEAU
JENSEN ACKLES
JARED PADALECKI
and ALONA TAL
SEASON 1; pilot episode
SCENE 1
It all starts in a little supermarket in Deepwater, about a hundred miles from Kansas City. It’s a relatively warm spring day and the sun is shining. A bell jingles, the camera sways to the glass doors and we can see a man enter the supermarket.
He’s got short, messy black hair and blue eyes. And despite the warm weather, he’s wearing a suit and a Trenchcoat. His name is Castiel.
He looks around briefly and goes to the counter. He clears his throat.
CASTIEL
Uh. Hello.
Is anyone here?
CLAIRE
You also here for the job interview?
The camera cuts to a POV from which we can see over Castiel’s shoulder, following his gaze as he turns his head. Between a door and a slushie machine, there’s two white chairs. One of them is occupied by a blonde girl in fishnets, a short skirt and a tank top. There’s tattoos on her arms and she’s wearing heavy make-up. That’s Claire. She’s chewing gum.
CASTIEL
Yes.
(Looks at her insistently.)
CLAIRE
Nobody taught you it’s rude to stare?
CASTIEL
Is it?
CLAIRE (with narrowed eyes)
You’re pretty weird, you know that?
CASTIEL (frowning)
Is it really necessary to hide your natural skin beneath those products?
She looks at him with a raised brow and doesn’t answer. He sits down next to her and thoughtfully stares off into the air. We can watch them from a low angle shot.
There’s pop music coming from some radio in the shop.
CASTIEL
You know, I’ve been thinking. Apes and bunnies are such delicate creatures. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them?
I mean, how important is lipstick really?
CLAIRE
You’re… not from here, are you?
CASTIEL
(snapping out of his mind)
No. I just moved here.
CLAIRE
Wow. That’s pretty sad, man.
CASTIEL
Why?
CLAIRE
Well, because this place is a shithole.
CASTIEL (sighing)
I was looking for someone. You don’t happen to know one Damon Crowley?
CLAIRE
No. Why are you looking for him?
CASTIEL
He’s an old friend.
And someone told me I need friends.
CLAIRE
Well, then you got the wrong address.
Deepwater is the last place where you’ll make friends.
CASTIEL
Do you think you’ll get the job?
CLAIRE
I’m thinking you need it more than I do.
CASTIEL
(Looking at her)
Really?
CLAIRE
Yeah. Let me see your resume.
CASTIEL
Resume?
CLAIRE
You… you mean to tell me you don’t have a resume?
A CV? Anything?
CASTIEL
No.
CLAIRE
You… got any experience?
CASTIEL
In what?
CLAIRE
You must have, like, had other jobs. Right?
CASTIEL
I… don’t remember.
CLAIRE
What, you’ve got Alzheimer’s, or something?
CASTIEL
It was a car accident. I lost a lot of my memory.
CLAIRE
Well.
You’re gonna need all the help you can get, pal.
You a good liar?
CASTIEL
Not particularly, no.
CLAIRE
Well, shit.
I guess you’ll just have to let me do the talking.
Do you have any special skills?
CASTIEL
Uh. I’m really good at handling bees.
CLAIRE (blinking)
Alright.
That’s… something.
I’m Claire by the way.
(Offers her hand.)
CASTIEL
(Awkwardly shaking the hand.)
Castiel Novak
CLAIRE
Nice to meet you.
Let’s show that motherfucker you deserve a job.
CASTIEL
I… Okay.
SCENE 2
Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor is playing. We see the license plate of a 1967 Chevrolet Impala as it’s pulling up into a parking lot at the side of the road. The plate says KAZ 2Y5.
Camera cut; we can now see the driver, a man with short blond hair and green eyes, who is singing along to Eye Of The Tiger as he turns off his car. That’s Dean. He’s bi, but he doesn’t know it yet.
Camera sway to the left; The man on the passenger seat has long, brown hair and brown eyes and is taller than the first one. He looks a little annoyed, lips pressed together. That’s Sam. His ass is currently sore from sitting for such a long time.
SAM
Finally!
(gets out of the car.)
DEAN
(Unwillingly turning off the music and getting out as well.)
Look, it’s called a road trip , because you spend time on the road.
SAM
(Sighing.)
Remind me why I said yes again?
DEAN
Uh, because your girlfriend is a bore?
SAM
Hey! At least I have one.
(Slaps the back of Dean’s head.)
DEAN
Hey, whoa!
(Slaps Sam’s hand away.)
That’s my move. Big brother slaps little brother's head. Not the other way around.
I don’t make the rules.
Except I do.
Camera is set behind them as they enter the building they parked in front of. The camera sways up and we can read the lettering above the doors: Harvelle Motel.
Camera cut; front view of Sam and Dean as they enter. Everything is quiet. Dean looks around.
Camera is now set in the back left corner of the room and we can see the furniture as the brothers take a few steps into the room. There are ugly little couches and low tables and dusty carpets.
A person enters from a door behind the counter and the camera follows her as she approaches them. She is a beautiful, blonde woman with a forceful stride. She’s got a rifle in one hand.
We can see both the brothers raise their eyebrows at the gun.
DEAN
You intend on using that?
JO
If you two are freaks, yes.
(She points the gun at their chests.)
DEAN and SAM (in unison)
Whoa, easy!
(Taking their arms up.)
SAM
We just wanna book a room.
JO
Oh.
(Takes down rifle.)
Well, then, come on in.
They all move to the counter where Jo hides her rifle underneath the reception desk. We can read a sign on the counter that displays the cost of a room per night.
Jo starts up a computer to register them.
JO
What’s y’all’s names?
SAM
Sam Winchester. And that’s my brother. Dean.
DEAN (flirty)
You also got a name, beautiful?
JO (not looking up)
Jo Harvelle.
DEAN
You own this place, Jo?
JO (looking up)
To you I’m still Miss Harvelle. And no, my mother owns the motel.
How long will you be stayin’?
SAM
One night.
DEAN
But we can make it two if you want me to.
JO
(Leaning over the counter seductively.)
You know what you’re really good at, Dean Winchester?
DEAN
(Grinning.)
You tell me…
JO
I don’t know. But whatever it is, it’s not flirting.
(Leaning back boredly and holding out a key.)
Here’s your key. Don’t lose it, or you’ll have to pay for it.
Your room is on the second floor on the right.
Breakfast isn’t included, but we’ve got a bar downstairs.
We can see Dean and Sam’s faces. Dean looks positively puzzled, Sam positively smug. He takes the key.
SAM
Thank you. See you around.
JO
Yeah.
The camera follows the Winchester brothers as Sam drags Dean up the stairs.
Cut to Jo as she amusedly shakes her head and types something on her computer.
SCENE 3
We can see a pair of black shoes and the camera slides up the legs of the owner and then we can see his back and a backrest as he’s sitting on a chair. His name is Mr. O’kelly and he owns the shop.
Camera cut; bird perspective. The man is sitting in front of a white desk. On the other side of the desk, opposite him, Castiel and Claire are sitting.
O’KELLY
So Mister, uh, Novak.
Tell me about your job experience.
CASTIEL
What do you want me to say?
CLAIRE
Your previous jobs, Castiel.
CASTIEL
Oh.
I was fighting certain deadly threats to humanity in my past life.
Understandably, there’s an awkward pause.
We can see Castiel and Claire’s faces now as they are sitting next to each other.
CLAIRE
What he, um, means is that he used to be an exterminator.
CASTIEL
An exterminator.
CLAIRE
But he’s left that life behind him.
See, Mr. O’kelly, he just moved here in order to start a new life.
O’KELLY (nodding slowly)
Well, that’s a pretty stupid idea, no offence.
CASTIEL
No offence taken.
Camera cut to O’kelly’s face as he sighs and looks down at his papers.
O’KELLY
Well, Mr. Novak, I could ask you more questions, but if I’m being honest with you, that would be useless. See, if Claire really wants to give this job a miss, well, then you’re the only other applicant. I can’t afford to be picky.
(Shakes hands with Castiel.)
Congratulations, Mr. Novak. Your shift starts tomorrow at 5am. Don’t be late.
CASTIEL
Thank you, Mr. O’kelly.
CLAIRE
Good day, Mr. O’kelly!
The camera stays positioned behind O’kelly as Castiel and Claire make their way out of the door.
Camera cut; we can see O’kelly’s face as he shakes his head and gathers up his papers.
O’KELLY
Times are getting more and more funny, ain’t they?
Castiel Novak… What an oddball.
SCENE 4
The camera cuts back to outside of the supermarket. The sun is shining and we get a bird view of Deepwater. It’s a pretty green area with lots of gardens and trees lining the dusty streets between little brick houses and small, white buildings. The supermarket is a green house opposite a meadow.
The camera flies down to follow Castiel and Claire who are exiting the supermarket and strolling down the street.
CASTIEL
Can I do anything? To thank you?
CLAIRE
Maybe sometime I’ll come back to a favour.
But for now, you’re welcome.
CASTIEL
That’s very kind.
The perspective changes. We get a front view of the two of them as they walk down the road.
CLAIRE
So, where are you actually from, Mr. Novak?
CASTIEL
You can call me Castiel.
I’m from Indiana.
CLAIRE
Right. Why you went to this town at the end of the world is still a mystery to me.
But whatever. So, you got the job. What now?
CASTIEL
I don’t know. Do you…
Do you have a library around here?
CLAIRE
I think there’s a small public library in the Post Office, why?
CASTIEL
I thought I might read a little.
CLAIRE
Dude, it’s 82 degrees! And you wanna go sit inside and read? You’re fucking weird.
We don’t know what or if Castiel answers, because the camera sways away to the building they’re passing. It has a lettering on it: Harvelle Motel.
The camera slides up to an open window through which we can see Dean in the bathroom, showering. (It’s Jensen, it would be a crime not to have a shower scene.) There’s music in the background, and then the noise of a door. The running of the water stops as Dean turns off the shower.
We get a close-up of his face.
DEAN
Sammy?!
SAM (off-camera)
I’m just dropping by the local library!
DEAN
You’re such a nerd.
SAM
Fuck you, too.
DEAN
Bitch.
SAM
Jerk.
The sound of running water starts again and Dean starts humming while the camera sways back down to the double doors of the motel in bird-view. Sam is coming out in t-shirt and jeans, walking off into the same direction that Castiel and Claire went.
Camera cut into the motel; We can see Jo looking up from the counter as Sam leaves. There’s a sneaky look on her face.
The camera cuts to a corridor, showing Jo walking towards the camera.
Close-up of Jo’s hand as her knuckles knock on the door.
DEAN (off-screen)
Just a moment!
Close-up of Jo biting her lip, then her shoes as she shifts her weight.
Then, we see the door open from an over-the-shoulder-perspective, following Jo’s gaze.
Dean is shirtless, towel wrapped around his waist.
DEAN (grinning)
Hi.
JO
Shut up.
DEAN
I will gladly if you make me.
Camera cut; we can see the wall next to the door.
The next second we can see Dean pushed up against it by Jo who kisses him fiercely.
DEAN
No matter how much I enjoy foreplay, we should get going, because my brother will be back soon.
JO
Right, come to bed, then.
The next thing we see is Dean pushing Jo down into the motel bed. (In your imagination of this scene, please give Dean’s arm muscles enough details, he deserves it.)
SCENE 6
We can see a hand run along the backs of a row of books.
The camera zooms out so we can see Sam’s face and upper body as he pulls out a book, looks at it, and puts it back.
There’s the sound of someone muttering under their breath and we see Sam whip around to locate the sound.
It’s Castiel, sitting on a table, not far away (the room is small), muttering as he’s reading.
SAM
Hey.
No reaction. Close-up of Sam’s face, then one of Castiel’s hands as he turns the page.
SAM (clearing his throat)
Uh, hey .
CASTIEL
Hello.
SAM
Do you, um, know where I can find some interesting books around here?
CASTIEL
(Points at the book he’s reading.)
SAM
Huh. Can I… join you?
As Castiel shrugs, Sam pulls out a chair beside him and sits down.
SAM
What are you reading?
CASTIEL
Anterograde Amnesia. But this is all useless.
SAM
You… May I ask why you’re reading about amnesia?
CASTIEL
I remember my life before this life, but not this life before the car crash.
SAM
You might wanna see a doctor.
CASTIEL
(Shakes his head.)
I’m fine.
SAM
…whatever you say.
I’m Sam, by the way. Winchester.
CASTIEL
Castiel Novak.
SAM
Nice to meet you.
CASTIEL
We’ll see about that.
SAM
Uh, well. Heh.
I’m really just looking for some good literature. Do you happen to know this place and whatever weird system they sort their books by?
CASTIEL
I found some graphic novels in the back.
SAM
I was actually looking for something law-related.
CASTIEL
Law?
SAM
Yeah.
CASTIEL
I’m sorry, but the closest thing to good literature I’ve seen in here is a biography about Elvis.
SAM
Hah. My brother might like that.
Or he would, if he read books.
CASTIEL
(Still looking through the books on the table in front of him.)
You have a brother?
SAM
Yup. 29 nine years of pain in the ass.
Luckily, I just had to live through 25.
CASTIEL
(Chuckles)
And where is he?
SAM
Oh, he’s here, too, back in the hotel.
He was the one that insisted on going on this road trip before my marriage.
God knows what he’s up to now. Probably washing his car, or something.
Comedic timing: Cut to Dean in the sheets with Jo, breaths laboured, having sex.
Cut back to Sam and Castiel in the library.
SAM
But what’s your deal? How did you end up here?
CASTIEL
(Shrugging.)
People think I’m weird, because I don’t remember a lot about my past.
But I know that I’m looking for someone.
SAM
As in, someone you know, or…?
CASTIEL
His name is Damon Crowley.
He used to live here and I think he was a friend of mine in my past life.
SAM
Naturally, yes. That makes sense.
CASTIEL
Was that sarcasm?
SAM
No. No I don’t know what you mean, or why you might think that.
CASTIEL
(Gives a wary look)
SCENE 7
The next day.
Good Morning Life by Dean Martin is playing and we see the morning sun shine down on Deepwater. The camera guides us past the window of Dean’s room where Dean is still sleeping. It then glides past the window and to the supermarket where Castiel Novak, dressed in a blue vest, has just started his shift.
CASTIEL
Okay. He said…
O’KELLY’S VOICE
Unlock the counter first and set it up before the first customers come in.
Shouldn’t be too hard, right? But it’s Castiel we’re talking about. At this point I could just write: Misha, do something funny! But unfortunately I am woke enough to know that this is a FanFic, so let me improvise instead:
Castiel somehow manages to spread the money all over the floor as he unlocks the register. We watch him fumble with the dollar bills as he tries to stuff them back into the register. It takes him some time. Mind you, Good Morning Life is still playing while Castiel is having his little change-all-over-the-floor situation.
O’KELLY’S VOICE
Make sure the magazines from the stock are on the counter, readable and attractive.
Cut to Castiel’s very, very confused
adorable
face. Then, we can see what he’s looking down at: the magazines in his hands.
‘Busty Asian Beauty’, it says on the cover, and I don’t think I have to describe the pictures.
CASTIEL (increasingly confused)
Readable and attractive?
We see harsh cuts of different arrangements of the magazines;
One: The magazines are laid out neatly on the counter, covering it completely.
Two: They are all in one pile and Cas has laid the newspapers on top of them.
Three: They are opened and lying on the floor.
In the end, Castiel hides the pile underneath the counter and moves on.
O’KELLY’S VOICE
Make sure all perishables are still good.
Cut straight to Castiel standing in front of the cooler, a carton of eggs in his right hand, crushing an egg with his left. The contents of the egg splash down onto the floor. Castiel smells the remains of the egg in his hand and makes an approving expression.
O’KELLY’S VOICE
And whenever you’re bored, you can sweep the floor.
We see the raw egg on the floor being ‘swept away’ with a broom.
O’KELLY’S VOICE
Oh, and one more thing. Don’t flirt with the customers, yeah?
We’ve had an… incident with your predecessor, and I don’t want it to happen again.
A bell jingles and we can see Castiel look up from the glass of honey in his hands.
Camera cut to a pair of apple green eyes.
~it's someone waiting for me~
~Who'll someday be my wife, good morning life~
Cue: Jazzy piano smash