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“Crap crap crap crap CRAP.” Ren Amamiya ran through the opening door of the train and dashed up the stairs from the station, ignoring the nasty looks from the other passengers.
He was beginning to suspect the universe hated him. It was becoming more and more obvious as time went on that if he ever managed to tip the scales in his favour someone would ready to dump an armload of crap on the other side. The world just couldn’t let him be happy for five minutes.
So given the events of the last few weeks and the fact he’d just got his first girlfriend, a former Idol, shogi player and the inaugural winner of the Ren Amamiya prettiest smile award (Round of applause for Miss Hifumi Togo, folks, She deserves it). Well he was expecting a few things to catch on fire.
He just hadn’t been ready for the number of things about to go wrong…
But almost immediately following his rather rushed and panicked confession Morgana had lost his temper with Ryuji and run off, which led to a week of looking for him and pushed them into their exploration of Okumura’s palace before everyone was really sure it was the best idea… which in turn found them a new teammate and a headlong rush to steal the treasure to prevent said teammate being married off to some slimy creep. He couldn’t even take a break after that was done since now he had to scramble to catch up on all the various things he SHOULD have been doing while they waited for the change of heart to take effect.
It was only after he’d finally managed to line up a space in his schedule to play shogi with his girlfriend that he’d been informed, by demeanour if not words, that spending time with her was something else that he should have been doing and she was quite put out to be so low on his list of priorities.
She’d also picked up his nomination for ‘cutest pout’ in the process but he thought he’d probably better keep that to himself.
So when, after an offhand comment, Hifumi had realised his winter wardrobe was limited to a single scarf and light coat he’d brought with him she had leapt at the chance to spend some time shopping with him. Particularly since this shopping had a hard deadline he couldn’t wriggle out of. Not if he didn’t want to freeze, at least. So she’d quickly claimed his next free Sunday to take him to Shibuya to fill out his wardrobe and spend some time with him in the process.
As much as he usually avoided clothes shopping it was something he’d found he was very much looking forward to.
So it was absolutely TYPICAL of his luck that there HAD to be a problem with the trains.
He ran up the stairs to station square two at a time, dodging commuters and tourists as he did so.
True, given the sort of problems the Tokyo subway system had recently had, a half hour delay for a faulty signal was trivial. Still, why did it have to be today? Why couldn’t it have occurred tomorrow on the way to school? While he could have done with another half hour to sleep this morning, since Ryuji and Futaba’s gaming competition had kept him up quite late, standing on a train wasn’t a good way to do it… and keeping Hifumi waiting was something far less desirable.
Although she was a very patient girl, he was beginning to detect a bit of irritation when he was pulled away from a game for yet another disaster.
He skidded to a stop in station square, scanning the crowd for any sign of his girlfriend. Although she wasn’t the tallest person, he was confident enough that he could pick her out if she was there, by the pink clouds and flowers that tended to taint his vision when she was around if by nothing else.
Sadly there was no sign of her anywhere. Which was odd. Hifumi was usually very punctual, a mark of respect to her opponents as she put it, and had always kept him posted if plans had changed.
He caught his breath and walked across to one of the garden beds pulling out his phone and tapping out a message as he sat down.
She’d probably found something to do while she was waiting. If he had to guess it would be a bookstore. Their visits to Booktown had shown him how much Hifumi loved old bookstores. During their last trip she’d found an unplumbed wealth of old shogi magazines in a forgotten corner and it had taken a lot of persuasion to extract her from them so she could make it home in time for her curfew.
He smiled to himself remembering her grumpy face when he’d tried for the third time to drag her away from her spoils. He’d never been so attracted to someone who was threatening to bludgeon him with a shogi board.
It was only then he noticed that the last message he had sent her when his train was delayed was still unread... That wasn’t like her.
“Nyaaa!”
The noise pulled his attention away from his phone. He looked down to find a small, fluffy, honey coloured cat rubbing itself enthusiastically against his legs purring.
He smiled at it and leant down and rubbed its ears.
“You’re a friendly one, aren’t you?”
“Nyaa!”
He settled back on the edge of the garden and checked his phone again, frowning. Hifumi was well ahead of him, she’d sent him a message when she was leaving home, so she should have been here by now, and the speed at which she’d normally rush to check her messages when she was expecting him to contact her was adorable. He’d never tell her but a few times he’d replied to an invite while standing a few feet away just to watch her face light up when she got the message.
Hopefully something hadn’t come up.
Some days he wondered if this Ruin he was meant to be adverting wasn’t just his love life.
“Nyaaaa!”
The friendly little cat had climbed up onto the garden bed next to him, and was now snuggling into his side purring and rubbing its head on his leg.
He reached down and rubbed its ears and looked back at his phone.
“Sorry, I’m afraid I haven’t got anything for you, Unless Morgana left something thing the bag.”
The little cat pressed against him and purred like a chainsaw.
He dialled her number and frowned as it failed to connect, feeling a tickle of unease. Her phone was rarely off, and never when they were meeting up. That coupled with her usual prompt response to messages was painting a worrying picture. He was starting to get a bad feeling about…
“Ow!”
He looked down into the little green indignant eyes of the cat, who it seemed was very disappointed the ear-rubs had stopped.
“Hey, no biting. Why aren’t you with your owner anyway? You’ve got a collar.”
Well it was sort of a collar, it was more a bow. Fancy fashion for a cat, a little black and white striped bow. That looked awfully familiar now he came to look at it.
A flash of his girlfriend playing shogi popped into his mind. Nothing unusual there, that happened a lot. But this time it was her uniform and not her smile that caught his attention.
That was a Kosei ribbon, the one she wore with her uniform, wasn’t it? So maybe the cat’s owner was from Kosei?
He knelt down and rubbed the cat’s face as it purred and butted his hand. Was it lost? Maybe if it had a tag Hifumi could help reunite them when she showed up. Which had better be soon or he was going to mobilise a search team. He reached out to the flash of red at the centre of the bow and straightened it out, hoping to find a nametag.
The bow wasn’t made to look like a Kosei ribbon. It was one, and almost new too, not the sort of thing to give to a pet. And caught on the middle was a traditional hair ornament. A cloverleaf knot of red cord. He’d seen it a hundred times.
“That’s Hifumi’s…”
“Nyaaa!”
The cat perked up at the name and rubbed its face into his hand again and he found himself looking into a pair of delighted green eyes that now seemed oddly familiar.
For a brief moment his brain went sideways as his tired mind equated cat to girlfriend and crashed, throwing up divide by zero errors.
No. Ok. That…
Stop. Breathe. Keep it cool, Joker.
Sure, weird stuff seemed to happen to him all the time. Very weird stuff. Demons and monsters and that weird green dick in the chariot that the network fusion turned up the other day that Igor had refused to even acknowledge.
Girlfriend turning into a cat wouldn’t even break the top ten.
Man his life was WEIRD.
But that was all palace and mementos stuff. Not Shibuya station square in broad daylight. There had to be another explanation.
The cat climbed onto his arm and patted his cheek with one soft paw. Then sat down primly looking at him.
Then it gave a soft mew and patted his hand.
He knew that gesture. Hifumi did it when he was taking too long to make a move.
“Hifumi, is that you?”
“Nyaa!” the cat proclaimed and proceeded to rub her face on his hand. Purring loudly.
Then it sat up straight, and gave a happy meow, and then looked at him as if waiting for him to react.
SHIT.
“Hifumi, why have you turned into a cat?”
The cat gave him a confused look.
Ok, so that had sounded way better in his head.
Maybe that late night playing retro games with Ryuji and Futaba wasn’t the best idea after all.
His tired brain was now swinging widely between thoughts. A part of him was trying to look at things like a thief and was wondering if this was a cat status ailment like the rat one and, if so, whether it wore off quickly or needed a cleanse to remove. Another part was wondered what could have possibly caused the change, and how it was going to be his fault. Yet another part was distracted by how adorable Hifumi was as a cat and, sadly, the large portion left capable of rational thought was currently running around on fire, screaming and not helping him in the slightest.
He took a deep breath.
“It’s ok. Everything will be ok. I’m… I’m going to fix this. I have no idea how, but I am going to fix this.”
She regarded him quizzically then bit his thumb. He winced.
“Sorry, I’m thinking…” he absentmindedly began rubbing her ears with one shaky hand, earning him a loud purring and an adoring look.
Ok. So he was in trouble. He had no idea what to do. That meant he needed information.
Unfortunately for him Morgana wasn’t here. He’d stayed behind with Futaba, saying he had better things to do than go clothes shopping and intrude on his date. Sure, this meant his bag was much easier to carry and complained less, but he could have really used a second opinion right now…
Ok… so who else would know…?
“The twins!”
“NYAA!” the cat shot upwards at his outburst and hissed at him.
“Sorry Hifumi. Hang on, I’ve got an idea. He reached out and scooped the bundle of fuzz into his arms and took off towards Central Street.
“I’m not sure, Ann. They have a lot of calories.” Makoto looked at the choices of crepe advertised on the sign in front of the stand and frowned.
The blonde laughed.
“Duh, cream is like pure fat. And chocolate is mostly sugar. And bananas are… I’m not sure. Are they a fruit or an herb? Lots of sugar anyway.” Ann pointed excited to one of the options and caught Haru’s eye. “That one has coffee and… Oh…” She wrinkled her nose. “Ok so I’m not sure coffee and berries would work. But it’s interesting.” Haru leant down and pursed her lips trying to make a selection.
“Well yes, but I’m not sure I can do enough exercise in one day to…” Makoto looked down at the calorie listing for the double cream crepe and shuddered.
Ann frowned at her.
“Ma-Ko-To! It’s a CREPE, we are enjoying our day off and eating junk food. This is something we do as NORMAL high school girls. Haru, you tell her!”
“There’s ones with less cream and more fruit, Mako-chan. You could have one of those.” Haru was clearly just enjoying the time with her friends.
“How about no cream.” Makoto scanned the list of crepes looking for anything that didn’t seem at least ninety percent sugar or one hundred percent fat.
“Makoto, how COULD you?!” Ann looked at her in horror. Earning her a raised eyebrow from her friend.
“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!”
A lanky blur with messy black hair and glasses tore past them, took the corner at high speed on one foot and disappeared down the alley.
The girls looked after it in surprise.
“Was that Ren?” Haru asked in confusion.
“It looked a bit like him, but his cat was a different colour. OOOoo this one has green tea Makoto! How about that!”
“Does it still have cream?”
“It has less cream!”
Ren skidded to a halt in front of the door to the velvet room.
“Caroline!”
“Gah!” The warden fell backwards off the top of the door to the street in surprise at his sudden entrance. She struggled back to her feet and threatened him with her baton.
“What the hell, Inmate! Are you trying to kill me?!”
“My girlfriend is a cat, I need your help!”
Right, so it didn’t get better the next time he said it either.
The tiny warden looked up at him and then at the happy cat held in his arms.
“Say that again?”
“This is Hifumi, my girlfriend! Something has happened to her!”
Caroline looked at the cat who purred happily.
The warden narrowed her eye at him and patted her palm with her baton.
“Don’t they have laws against that?”
“She’s not normally a cat!” He gritted his teeth, dealing with Caroline could be a chore on good days and this was certainly NOT one.
The warden frowned.
“Inmate, I’m not sure I can let you into the velvet room if you’ve been drinking. That’s asking for fusion accidents. That’s how we end up with Legion. Those things are creepy.”
“I haven’t been drinking.”
She gave him a disparaging look.
“I don’t care what you’ve been doing. YOU think your girlfriend is a cat and WE have enough abominations already.”
He rubbed his eyes in frustration.
“Fine, just let me into the velvet room and I’ll ask Igor. No fusing.”
The warden stepped in front of the door.
“No pets.”
“OH COME ON!” The cat put its ears back in surprise at his exclamation, and hissed at the warden.
She was unmoved.
“Look if we can’t have a fish tank, your ‘girlfriend’.” She mimed the finger quotes. “Stays outside. Besides, the master is allergic to pet hair.”
He was way too tired to let that pass.
“Igor is allergic to cats?!”
“PETS. In general, apparently a bear got in once and he couldn’t stop sneezing. And you do NOT want to see the master with a runny nose.” The girl shuddered.
Ren sighed and held the cat out to Caroline, who regarded it in mistrust.
“Can I leave her with you?”
“No. I am not babysitting, er pet sitting… Gah, whatever! Find someone else to deal with your weird cat girl problems!”
The cat hissed at her. She glowered back at it.
Ren cast his eyes around the alley and took off towards the airsoft shop at a run. Skidding in through the door.
Iwai looked up from the paperwork he was filling out and raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t break the damn door kid. What’s the rush?”
“Can you keep an eye on this cat for me?”
Iwai glared at him then turned back to his paperwork.
“Get the fuck out of my store.”
“Come on, Iwai. I have something I have to do. Ten minutes tops.”
“I don’t watch pets. If you’re not buying something get out.” He scribbled a serial number onto a form and turned the page.
“Please, five minutes.”
Iwai looked at the cat, who had her ears back and was staring warily around.
“Kid, that cat is already scared of all the new smells in here, one person makes the wrong move it’s going to piss on everything. No cats in the store. You only get away with the one in your bag since he stays in there. Why do you even need another cat anyway?”
Iwai waved him off.
Ren turned in defeat and headed back out the door.
“She’s my girlfriend.”
Iwai regarded the closed door in confusion and then returned to his notes.
“Bit early for him to start drinking.”
Ren walked out into the alley past the velvet room door, now with a large post it note stuck to it saying “Absolutely no pets.” He frowned at the warden who gave him a nasty look.
Right, so what were his options? The velvet room was out, unless he could find a place to safely leave Hifumi. So that means he still needed information and/or backup.
Information first. He pulled out his phone and dialled. Tapping his foot impatiently while he waited for it to connect.
“Hello, Futaba Sakura, localised disaster and bane of Yakisoba. How may I direct your call?”
Ren sighed and rubbed Hifumi’s ears. Holding the phone against his ear with his shoulder.
“Put Morgana on.”
“Hello, Futaba! How are you Futaba? Thank you for answering the phone when you’re scared by loud noises, Futaba!”
Ren looked down into the confused eyes of the cat, which mewed at him. Dealing with Futaba whilst sleep deprived was not his favourite pastime.
“Futaba, I’m having a day. I need Morgana’s expertise. Can you put him on the phone, please?’
“Fine.”
There was a brief argument and then Morgana’s voice came through the speaker.
“How’s the date going Joker?”
“He’s on a DATE?!” Ren swore under his breath and pointedly ignored Futaba’s excited interjections.
“Morgana, Can you speak cat?”
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. Until Futaba lost her battle with laugher and broke down in the background.
“I’m NOT a….”
“I know! But can you understand cats?”
“Cats can’t talk Joker. What the hell is wrong with you?”
Ren looked down at the cat which gazed up at him adoringly.”
“Could you try?”
“Could you? Seriously Joker. What’s going on?”
Ren sighed and rubbed the cats face. It purred.
“Damn, ok then. Status ailments info. Remember that sarcophagus that turned us into rats?’
“Yep, that was kind of funny.”
“Only because you weren’t hit by it. Is there any other ailments like that?”
Morgana made some thinking noises.
“Not that I’m aware of, but the Metaverse is a weird place. Why? I thought you were clothes shopping with Hifumi? How did you end up with a status ailment?”
“He’s dating the CHESS GIRL?! YES! Ryuji owes me a thousand yen!”
“FUTABA, be quiet! Morgana, something has happened to Hifumi. She’s been turned into a cat.”
Yep, that was just never going to sound right.
The other end of the line went silent.
“Ren, when did you get to sleep last night?” Futaba spoke gently like she was afraid he’d explode if startled.
‘SHUT UP FUTABA. Morgana, it might have been what happened to you. THINK, anything that could have caused this?”
“No! I checked it’s not a status effect I can see if it is.”
“Dammit.” He rubbed the back of his neck. The cat patted his other hand gently.
“Ren, calm down.”
“YOUR GIRLFRIEND ISN’T A CAT!”
A salary man walking past the mouth of the alley gave him a startled look. Both Ren and the cat glared at him until he moved on.
“Keep it cool, Joker. Say it is a status ailment. Then you probably need to head into the Metaverse to clear it. Amrita shower doesn’t work in the real world. Plus if it is like me she might be able to tell you what happened.”
“Good point. I’ll hit Mementos now. Think hard Morgana. She’s adorable like this but this was not what I wanted from a relationship.”
Hifumi made a disgruntled noise and bit his thumb.
“It was Ren!”
He looked up from the phone in surprise. At the entrance to the alley Haru waved at him as Makoto and Ann walked in from the direction of the crepe stand arguing loudly about the merits of confectionary in a balanced diet.
Ren dashed towards them and thrust the cat into Makoto’s surprised arms.
“Perfect! Makoto, Hold Hifumi. Morgana. I’m checking my sources then we’ll hit Mementos. I’ll call you back.”
She regarded him in confusion as he hung up.
“You named a cat after Hifumi?”
“Of course not, it IS Hifumi. Just hold onto her and if she gets worried tell her I’m handling it.”
He turned and ran down the alley, appearing to stop dead staring at the wall as he entered the velvet room.
Ann took a bite of her crepe and look down at the cat. It looked back up at her and meowed.
“So…?” She looked at Haru who shrugged.
“I have no idea what’s going on. It sounds exciting, though.”
Futaba looked down at her phone, then at the cat sitting next to her on the desk.
“Thousand yen she’s not actually a cat and Joker just needs more sleep?”
“I am not taking that bet”. The cat scratched his ear in thought. “Can you search around and see if there is anything online?”
Futaba gave him a look and grinned.
“You want me to search the internet for ‘my girlfriend turned into a cat’? I mean we’ll find a lot, but most of it will be porn.”
“I’m not sure what else we can do.”
Futaba turned back to her computer.
“I can tell Ryuji the bomber-man game we scheduled for next week is off. Ren really needs more sleep.”
“Welcome to my….”
Ren leapt up from the bunk and grabbed the door.
“Yeah, Yeah. Is there a status ailment that turns people into cats?”
Igor regarded him grumpily for a few moments.
“No.”
“Nothing? Anything like the rat thing?”
“No, prisoner. I know of nothing that will turn someone into a cat.”
Ren hit the bars in frustration.
“Right, FINE. Let me see the compendium. I need everything with status ailment cleansing effects that we have.
Igor frowned at him.
“I don’t think you’re respecting your position, prisoner.”
As the two began arguing Justine nudged her sister with her elbow.
“I told you it was a bad idea to hit him in the head.”
Caroline rolled her eye.
“He doesn’t use it anyway!”
“I’m sure it will be fine.” Ann was holding a piece of crepe out to the cat which sniffed it warily.
Makoto swatted her hand away.
“ANN! Do not give the cat crepes, they are bad enough for you!”
Ren walked out the velvet room swearing under his breath and ran back up the alley.
“Useless, long nosed idiot. I’m going to rub Morgana all over his desk.”
Makoto watched his return in confusion.
“Ren, what the hell is going on?”
“I don’t know! We were going to go clothes shopping and my train was running late. When I got here she wasn’t answering messages and then she turned up like this!”
“Nyaa.” The cat added and tried to climb out of Makoto’s arms to get to him. She did her best to keep it under control.
“Ren, there is FAR more likely explanations than her being turned into a cat.”
He rubbed his eyes and turned to the cat.
“Hifumi?”
“Nyaaa?”
“When’s your next photoshoot?”
The cat put it ears back and hissed at him.
“Ok then, how was my opening in the last game?”
It narrowed its eyes and grumbled.
“Ultimate Excalibur attack?”
“NYAAAAA!” The cat began purring furiously and resumed its efforts to reach him.
He pointed at the cat and raised his eyebrows at her.
Makoto regarded the excited feline in surprise.
“That is certainly unusual but…”
“Look, I know this is weird but I don’t care if you believe it right now, I just need your help. I need to head to mementos to see if anything that clears status ailments work on this. I’d appreciate the backup since both of our navigators are currently in Yongen laughing their asses off at me.”
Makoto frowned, but then nodded, noting how worried he was.
“Fine, let’s get going.”
“But the CREPES!” Ann whined.
The cat put it ears back and hissed at her. She looked at it in surprise.
“Geez, sorry. Joker your girlfriend is awfully snippy.”
“She’s very cute though.” Haru leaned over and rubbed the cat’s ears. It regarded her warily but allowed the contact.
Ren slapped his face to wake himself up and then nodded.
“Pass Hifumi here Makoto. Let’s go.”
“I’m not sure that’s appropriate.”
He turned to face her confused.
“What? Why?”
She looked down at the cat in her arms, then back up at him and blushed lightly.
“She’s… not dressed.”
“He looked down at the cat which mewed at him happily and then sighed.
“Thank you for making this weirder, Makoto.”
He removed his coat and passed it to her as Ann and Haru tried not to laugh.
The familiar black and red of mementos swirled into place as they walked down the stairs. Sadly Hifumi did not return to herself as they entered the Metaverse, and was still a cat, contentedly curled up in Ren’s coat, purring loudly.
“Damn it. I was hoping it would be like Morgana so we could at least ask what happened.”
The cat mewed apologetically and patted his hand.
“It’s not your fault, Hifumi. Don’t worry.”
As they reached the entranceway he caught sight of Justine standing next to the door to the velvet room. This one now also adorned with a no pets label.
Caroline hadn't been helpful, but Justine was usually much easier to talk to, and at least she wasn't armed... It was worth a try.
“One sec.”
He jogged over to the warden carrying the cat.
“Justine. Do you have any ideas?”
The warden looked up at him and then set down her clipboard.
“Hand her to me, I will see if I can spot anything.”
Ren passed the cat across. Justine held it up at arm’s length, looking it up and down. The cat looked to Ren in confusion and mewed.
“It’s ok. She’s trying to help.”
Justine then held the cat against her chest rubbing its ears and closed her eyes, concentrating.
She stood there for several minutes. Humming to herself.
“Nyaa?” The cat looked back at Ren and tried to wiggle out of her arms.
“Er, Justine?”
The warden didn’t open her eyes.
“What, Inmate?”
“What do you think?”
She flushed and hugged the cat tighter.
“She’s so FLUFFY!”
Ren pinched the bridged of his nose.
“JUSTINE! Focus! Can you turn her back?”
The warden looked up at him blankly.
“Of course not. She’s a cat. As far as I can tell she’s always been a cat.”
Ren stomped over and snatched Hifumi. The cat growled down at the warden who looked up in disappointment.
“Not helpful, Justine.”
“It’s not my fault she’s a cat. Can…Can I touch her paws?” She looked at the cat hopefully and made a grabbing motion.
The cat hissed at her, she pouted.
“No, I need to get her back to normal.” He turned and stormed back to the rest of his team who had been watching him in confusion.
“No luck with invisible girl?”
“Hifumi is very fluffy apparently.”
The cat made an unhappy noise and snuggled back into his arms pouting.
“So, Amrita shower time?” Haru asked, trying not to smile.
“It’s worth a shot. I’ll hold her, when you’re ready, Noir.
Haru began calling her persona. The cat looked up in interest.
“Milady!” Haru’s persona blurred into existence behind her preparing to attempt to cleanse whatever strange de-buff had transformed their leader’s girlfriend.
Whatever the cat had been expecting to happen it did not include an eight foot tall woman in a ball gown and mask but without her head.
“MROOOOOOW!” The cat’s ears shot flat to its head and it climbed Joker in panic, scratching him in the process.
“Hifumi… OW! Calm… OW…. DAMMIT, stop!”
He frantically swivelled to keep his hands on the cat as it tried to get away from the persona in front of it. However she managed to reach Ren’s shoulder and kicked off, diving down the escalator into Mementos proper.
“Hifumi!” Ren turned without hesitation and dove down the escalator after her.
“Joker!” Panther and Queen overcame their surprise and took off after him. Leaving Haru and Milady standing at the entrance.
Haru looked at Milady in surprise. The persona looked down the stairs after the group and slumped, disappointed.
“It’s alright, Milady. I’m sure it wasn’t you, she was just surprised.”
She then turned and ran down the stairs after the others as the persona dissipated.
Justine watched them go and shook her head.
“Look, I’m sorry you didn’t like the smell, but I had to try it.”
The cat turned up her nose at him and looked away.
“It was meant to be relaxing. It could have been worse. I’m out of repentance ashes.”
She hissed at him and deliberately bit his thumb. He winced.
“I don’t know what will work, I’m trying everything.”
The thieves walked up the stairs to the exit of mementos. Dirty, covered in a number of scratches and thoroughly fed up. They’d been led a hell of a chase by the terrified cat who, it turned out, was no more fond of the other denizens of mementos than their personas. It was only after Ren had summoned Arsene to deal with a rogue shadow that the chase had come to an end, with the cat leaping into his persona’s arms leaving the confused Arsene holding a terrified feline and unable to work out what to do it with it.
Once Hifumi was back under control they’d worked through pretty much every status ailment clearing item in their repertoire, every spell they had access to with Ren growing increasingly frantic and scratched up as the attempts had progressed. Nothing had done anything other than annoy the poor cat and lead to either another short chase or injury to Ren. Finally, disheartened, they had returned to the entrance, hoping that either Futaba or Morgana had come up with some other options on things to try.
While Makoto growled into the phone attempting to get either Futaba or Morgana to stop laughing at the predicament and focus the other girls attempted to cheer up their leader.
“Maybe it just needs time, Joker. Do you think Sojiro will mind if you keep her at the café?” Ann brushed some dirt off his shoulder and then patted it.
“She could stay with me.” Haru removed some dust from the back of the cat and discarded it. “Just in case she turns back suddenly and you have to explain her to Boss.”
He looked down at the small tired grumpy cat and ruffled her ears.
“Thanks Noir… But I need to make sure she’s safe. I’m sure this is my fault somehow and we probably shouldn’t risk things with your father until we’re sure the change of heart has stuck. Besides, from the amount of crap he gives me Boss is less likely to complain about the sudden appearance of a girl and more likely to complain about another cat.”
He rubbed the cat’s face.
“Although I can’t see him complaining if she’s this cute.”
The cat patted his hand sadly. He closed his eyes and hugged her.
“It’s ok Hifumi. I WILL fix this, I promise.”
“Ren, I’m so sorry.”
His eyes snapped open at the sound of Hifumi’s voice and he stared down at the cat. She looked at him sadly.
“Today has been such a mess.”
“It’s not your fault. Quickly, tell me what happened this morning. Everything you can recall.”
“I don’t…”
“Anything you can remember might help fix this.”
“Uh…Joker…” Ann tapped his shoulder to get his attention.
“Let her talk Ann.”
“Ren?”
“Yes Hifumi?”
He looked down at the cat who looked at him quizzically.
“Why are you talking to that coat?”
Ren’s head snapped upwards. Standing in front of him, missing her hair ornament, looking out of breath and a touch more dishevelled than normal was his girlfriend who had just climbed up the stairs from the underground mall.
Ok, so there was clearly a better explanation for things, Makoto was right.
At this point he didn’t care.
He dashed forward and hugged her.
“Ren! We’re in public!” Hifumi immediately went bright red. Ann and Haru caught each others eyes and giggled.
“Don’t care. I’m just glad you’re ok.”
She flushed again, but leant into the hug.
“I’m fine, I’m sorry I worried you.”
“Nyaa!” His coat was caught between him and his girlfriend, and the cat was not much impressed. It wiggled itself out of the bundle.
“Nyaa?” Hifumi looked down at the cat. “APHRODITE! You little MONSTER! Where have you been?”
The cat took one look at her face and dove from its perch and disappeared under the train carriage decorating the square.
“Not again!” Ren immediately dove under the carriage and started trying to fish the cat out.
Hifumi stared at this for a second, then stepped across and stood next to Makoto and the confused girls.
“What on earth has been going on, Niijima-san?”
Makoto sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“I’ll call you back, Futaba.”
Hifumi stood with the girls, watching as Ren attempted to coax the cat out from under the train car in station square and massaging her temples with her fingers. Makoto had given her the edited highlights of their morning, scrubbed of anything phantom thief related. Sadly that did end up making Ren seem a little… overwrought, and oddly concerned with the cat.
“So her name is Aphrodite?” Makoto asked, wincing as Ren banged his head on something.
“Yes, she belongs to my neighbour. She left her with me when she had to visit her family. The little troublemaker has been getting into everything and making my life miserable. She seems to love Ren’s hoodie though, she keeps curling up on it and falling asleep.”
There was a string of muffled curses and a happy Nyaa from the carriage. Apparently the cat was enjoying this part of her adventure.
Hifumi frowned.
“I suppose that’s why she was hiding in my bag. I was intending to return the hoodie to Ren today, so I put it in there to give it to him. But then Dita disappeared and I spent so long looking for her this morning I was in too much of a rush to check my bag before I left. Then I arrived here, opened it to get a book out and that little monster jumped out, bounced off my head, and disappeared with my hair ornament.”
Ren’s quiet voice floated out offering sushi if the cat behaved.
Negotiations did not appear to be going well.
Ann giggled.
“She surprised me so much I dropped my phone and then it wouldn’t turn on. I dropped it in for repairs while I was looking for her. I’ve been trying to find her or Ren ever since.” Hifumi frowned down at her boyfriend’s legs, wriggling around under the train.
“Well, that explains why she’s been so attached to Ren. His hoodie must smell like him.” Makoto supressed a smile.
“She does seem to have taken quite a liking to him.” Haru added as Ren wiggled further under the carriage.
“Ren has always had a way with women.” Ann grinned.
“So I can see.” Hifumi’s eyes drifted to Ann and Haru who were watching Ren’s unsuccessful cat wrangling with interest. She was clearly sizing up the competition.
Makoto’s eyes widened and she stepped in quickly, hoping to head off any fireworks.
“Hifumi, let me introduce you, this is Ann Takamaki and Haru Okumura. They go to school with Ren and I. Girls, this is Hifumi Togo.”
“Ren’s Girlfriend.” Hifumi added, brightly.
Funny how an introduction, when worded right could sound like a declaration of war, wasn’t it?
“Yes, Ren’s girlfriend.” Makoto gave her a worried look.
“Oh, don’t worry, we know. He’s been dragging us all over Shibuya trying to…” Makoto caught her eye and shook her head slightly. “Er, find you.” Ann finished lamely.
“Oh. Good. That’s fine then.” Hifumi smiled and turned back to watch Ren’s cat herding.
“Sure?” Ann looked to Makoto, who shrugged.
Having played against her, Hifumi had a clear delineation between 'Opponent' and everything else when she was focusing.
At least it had headed off any use of dragons for the time being. Not that the girl would hit you with her shogi board... but she DID always have it to hand, so...
“Got you!”
Ren slid backwards out from the carriage, holding a dusty, but delighted cat. She was far less delighted to be carried back across to Hifumi, regarding the girl with a grumpy look.
Hifumi returned with gusto.
Makoto looked at the impending storm and decided that their part in the day’s activities was done.
“Well we should be going, you two have fun.” She smiled to Hifumi and regarded Ren with worry.
“Ren, make sure you get enough sleep in future.”
He looked down to hide his embarrassment, Hifumi gave him an odd look.
“At least we’ve all earned some crepes now, right Makoto?” Ann rubbed her hands together and grinned
Makoto frowned at her.
“You already had one!”
Ann shrugged in response and grinned.
“Bye Togo-san, I’m glad you’re not a cat!” Haru waved as they headed off.
“Thank…you?” Hifumi looked after her in confusion.
“Man I think the cat was less snippy.” Ann whispered to Haru.
“Hush Ann. They both had a busy day.”
The rest of the conversation was lost as they headed towards the crossing.
“They seem… interesting.” Hifumi said, looking after the girls, deep in thought.
“They are going to be giving me hell for today. We’ve been running all over…the place.” he caught himself before going into too much detail.
He frowned down at the dusty cat.
“You, miss are far too energetic.” He ruffled the fur of the purring ball in his arms. “I think your bow might need a wash, Hifumi. It was very dirty under there.
Hifumi smiled st him and shrugged.
“It’s my spare, I’ll get it washed tonight. It should be fine. However my ornament is harder to replace. I don’t feel right without it.”
She reached out to take the bow from the cat’s neck.
Aphrodite made a low noise and swiped at her with her eyes narrowed. Hifumi snatched her hand back in surprise.
“Dita, stop that! Those are mine.”
Ren sighed. Meditating between his girlfriend and an overly affectionate cat hadn’t been on his list of plans for today. But apparently it had been a recent addition.
“Hey there.” He reached down and removed the bow carefully from the cat’s neck as it looked up at him adoringly. Then held it out to Hifumi, who took it frowning at the feline.
“Don’t get any ideas, Dita. He’s mine too.”
The cat sniffed and snuggled back into Ren’s arms with a smug look.
Hifumi narrowed her eyes at it.
Was this headache he was feeling coming on from his lack of sleep, or a premonition of the rest of the trip…? Could go either way. Ren winced and rubbed his temple.
“Ren, I don’t suppose we could just leave her somewhere... I think I saw some luggage lockers.” Hifumi stared at the cat clearly displeased with the thought of it intruding on their date.
The cat let out a low growl and frowned back at her.
Ren look at the two of them and sighed.
And there was him thinking the worst of this day was over with.
“Right, three targets and we need to try and make it to the end of the new area this trip. Everyone ready?”
Several days later the phantom thieves were back in Mementos, fortunately without the excitable cat this time.
While his team finished readying their equipment Ren finished tapping the last target’s name into the navigator. He then turned to look at his team and froze.
“Seriously?”
“What’s up Joker?” Futaba asked, trying not to laugh.
“Just trying to help you feel at home, you know?” Ryuji grinned at him.
The phantom thieves had made an addition to their costumes. Each was now wearing a pair of colourful cat ears and a massive grin.
Joker glared at them. So much for keeping his shopping trip under wraps.
“I hate you all, SO much. If we didn’t have requests to do I’d be going home and pretending I didn’t know any of you.”
“Awww, he’s embarrassed.”
“No, Oracle. He’s pissed. And now he can summon Lucifer. Think about that. I’m swapping out a persona. Take those off before I come back.” He spun on his heel and headed toward the door to the velvet room.
“We have a pair for Chess Girl if you want…”
He pointedly ignored the laughing girl and entered.
After the odd transition to the blue room he stood and turned to talk to the inhabitants.”
“Right, I need…. OH COME ON!”
The twin wardens stood in front of him, wearing the same outfits they always did, only now their uniforms were topped with fuzzy grey cat ears.
“What’s the matter Inmate?” Caroline smirked at him.
Ren shot the girls a glare and turned to talk to their master.
“Igor can you do something about the…”
Ren stopped dead staring at the long nosed master of the room currently wearing a large pair of black cat ears and a blank expression.
“Welcome to my…”
Ren turned and returned the way he’d entered.
“NOPE! Fuck this. I’m going home.”