Chapter Text
Love makes you do stupid things. It makes you think stand up for things you never did. It softens you. It makes you...
Vulnerable." Jennie softly reads out from a book that she has specifically picked out from the small library in their dorm. She flips the page revealing new sentences after another.
All of them were well written.
Filled with emotion. Jennie loves literature because of that very own reason.
"It allows you to explore news things from start to end. It opens your heart to explore new failures and successes. Sometimes love makes you go mad. Make your eyes go rusty—with your fists all clenched up and your teeths all grind up together. It makes you feel ....explosive. And when you feel that way, you're definitely in love."
Jennie professed,before finally deciding to read the next few pages and closing her book. She sighs and puts the book back on its shelf.
She knew that she was in love. She just—just couldn't say anything.
She couldnt do anything about all of these upsetting feelings.
She needed to think about Jisoo and Rosé too—and Lisa.
Especially Lisa. She rethinks her choices.
Especially Lisa she repeats. The Thai girl that left her house for 5 years just to finally debut as BLACKPINK.
The current greatest kpop girl group.
Especially Lisa.
She decided to keep her feelings away. For as long as she can.
For her.
That black-haired girl that always had that optimistic smile wherever she went. A year younger than her yet acts so very mature and maybe sometimes cute when she has too, that leaves her in awe everytime.She would notice every detail about her. Of course she did. She spent 9 years together with Lisa. 9 years.
From how Lisa would hold her camera, to how she would love to tidy her bangs and not let anyone touch them.
Jennie knew everything about Lisa. She thinks.
Almost everything.
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"Jennie!!" a voice calls out her name and whispers into her ears. Jennie immediately snaps out of her thoughts and turns around,scanning the dance room. Did she doze off or something? She seriously cant remember anything—She rubs her eyes casually and yawns. It was Lisa behind her in the same dance room.
Lisa. The one that she mentioned in her wondering thoughts.
Jennie smiles"Yes Lisa?" She says calmly."What's wrong?" She questions and pulls the dark haired girl down with her.
Lisa doesn't fight back and let's herself to be pulled down. She laughs as she falls on Jennie's stomach and accidentally hits a spot that somehow sents Jennie into a laughing madness.
"We're late~!" Lisa guffaws and quickly stands up with her amazing reflexes. "Get up Jenniee~! We have a plane to catch!"
Jennie suddenly remembers that she wasnt even suppose to be training herself today the fact that it completely slipped out of mind sents herself in a slient frenzy. Shes such a clumsy idiot—she chuckles in hope that Lisa doesnt mind.
That she doesnt mind that shes such a crackhead at times—ah. Shes going out of the topic again. This is so random. Goddamn it.
Jennie apologies swiftly and picks herself up with Lisa's help. She grabs her belongings and walks out of the practice room and see her bandmates all hitting her shoes and waiting for her.
"Did you doze off or something?" Jisoo asks in unison with Rosé.
"She definitely did!" Lisa slides in the conversation and covering Jennie's part. Jennie softly hides her blush because god, Lisa is so adorable and she seriously can't contain her excitement whenever shes with her bandmates. Everyone laughs at jennie and she joins in. Everything was just so perfect there was no reason for Jennie to say anything. Jisoo drags Rosé and towards the hallway , and Lisa tags along. Jennie was about to close the door before she suddenly stops on her tracks and saw that she has left her wallet inside.
God of all things her wallet.
She rolls her eyes at how clumsy she is sometimes. She turns her head and makes a quick announcement to her members that she'll catch up real soon after she takes her wallet. Jennie sighs as she walks back in the dance room.
She was already halfway there and sometimes shes wondering just how big the dance room was. She loved the interior though. It was just perfectly right there that her insides started to burn.
Burn.
Like roaring flames, flames that never calmed down.
Burn.
Everything was heating up and her legs just couldnt take it. They seem to be struggling as well—each aching and bestowed to cry,She falls flat on the floor and tucks herself into a small ball. Jennie cradles herself like a baby in need and bites on her hoodie.
She was groaning in pain quietly to herself.
Her thoughts were so hazy and her breathing started to grow rapid—her chest was rising and falling. She didn't know what was happening to her but all she knew was that she needed to get up right now. At the this moment.
She can't.
And while the unbearably distressing; torturing;and excruciating pain was trying to slowly kill her, Jennie was telling herself so many things at once—one, that Pain was just an illusory sensation that her mind could shut down if it needed to.
And right now, it was much needed.
No way she was going to make her members worry.
She cries silently everytime.
"Jennie cries silently everytime" she remember one of her members saying. She couldnt remember who and that made her slightly angry.
She was upset. Shes like a grandma she recall mentioning on camera."Get up." She mocks herself; one hand clenching herself. And the other trying to push the owner up.
Get up. She repeats.
"What's taking that Mandu so long" Jisoo annoyingly sighs and asks Lisa, whom she knows was in the exact same room as her 3 minutes ago.
"Right? I thought she said she was getting something. " Rosé chided.
Lisa tries to laugh it off— she shrugs her elbows but that just makes her slightly more cautious and worried about her best friend.
She stops packing her bag," should I go back and check on her? She is taking her own sweet time afterall " Lisa says and the two nod. She quickly thanks them for their understanding and runs to find her, and somehow along the same hallway she was running—she accidentally bumps into Jennie.
"Owh—! I'm sorr-" She motioned only to lift her head and see Jennie rubbing her back and shaking her head. However the first thing that Lisa sees is her flawless face—that seems oldly....
Red?
"Are you okay?"Lisa continued "your face is red."
"I'm fine, Thank you Lisa." Jennie lies. She nowhere near okay. 4 minutes ago she was crying on the dance floor,and now she was lying to her crush.
That's so cringe. She thinks. Shes always mindlessly thinking and she really hates herself for that.
It was only a few moments ago that the pain slowly died down and that she gripped and collected herself that she immediately rushed out of the room ran as fast as she could to the dorm. Where she knew that everyone was waiting for her ass. Little did she know that she was going to bump into the youngest member of the group. She was left in awe, really.
I wont tell you that I was crying.
I wont tell you that I'm always trying.
I won't tell you how much hate I give myself. Sometimes more than the hate I get.
I wont.
I wont Lisa.
I promise.
It's funny how sometimes Lisa seems like she is able to read her thoughts"Unnie, dont lie to me okay" she noted.
"Why would I ever"
Jennie denies once more—she chucks her arm in between Lisa's and decides to continue walking, she jumps around like a small little kid every now and then but Lisa smiles softly and Jennie's sudden silliness and cracks some jokes while walking back to their dorm;They do enjoy each other company afterall.
Jennie looks completely fine from the outside But Lisa made sure she doesnt let go of today. "But Jennie... your voice was shaking..."
Was what she wanted to say, to tell her and remind her that BlackPink will always do everything to support her.
That she will always support her. But maybe it was just not the right time to be so aggressive and arrogant towards Jennie—not after she was literally her lifesaver in the whole of her Trainee life.
And sometimes Lisa just wants to tell her that this charismatic, hot and talented dancer isnt all perfect. Yeah sure, Straight A's in all of her Trainee life.
But it was Jennie who got her through it.
She .... never thanked her.
Everything just seemed so perfect right now. To all the BLINKS. To the managers, to the CEOs, to everyone except Jennie and Lisa.
They never liked confronting someone whenever they felt someone or something was off or when they felt like everything was out of place.
Emotions were all over the place for this two.
And especially Jennie.
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Maybe everything will be okay —I'm just going to wait for tommrow. Maybe tommrow is going to be different. Things will be different—I'd wake up in the middle of the plane, flying and cutting through the possibilities of the old times.
The vintage style cushions surrounding me. And whispers of all the YG staff members. And Jisoo beside me. Maybe Rosé. Maybe Lisa. Maybe. I dont want to think about it now. Maybe tommrow will be better "
Maybe. Jennie overthinks again.
Let's wait for tommrow.
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