Archive of Our Own ^beta

“From this moment, you will never be alone.
We’re bound together, now and forever. Loneliness has gone.”

Aftermath - Muse

Training and getting stronger has always been Bam’s number one priority; learning new skills so he could face his opponents head on and protect those who are so dear to him… that way nobody would ever dare to even touch a hair on their heads. He wanted his enemies to know not to mess with someone like him, so he would never fall from grace into darkness ever again.

That was all he could think of as he stood in front of the God of Guardians at the Rice Pot, clenching his fists in expectation as the man explained the new Black-hole Sphere technique to him. The big orb was absorbing so much shinsu in the room, that even he felt out of breath. “With even a small amount of shinsu , you can cause immense destruction.” The man explained.

Still, even though Bam had been a natural, quick and gifted learner when it came to shinsu, he couldn’t quite understand how to learn this new skill. It was different from everything he’d seen so far.

So an idea suddenly came to his mind. “Could you attack me with that skill?” Bam asked.

The God of Guardians crossed his arms and sighed, shaking his head. “I’ve told you several times I can’t do that. Are you trying to get yourself killed? It’s too dangerous for you to get hit with this attack directly!”

No. Bam panicked. He needed this. He needed to hurry and go back to the people waiting for him. He needed to go to the Floor of Death as soon as possible!

He needed to find Rachel and demand answers from her, find out the things only she knew about him and his past.

Without realizing, thinking about this just made his heart race uncontrollably, hands shaking at the thought of him finally getting some answers. 

A cacophony of questions whirled in his mind: Once I find the answers I’m seeking for, would everything turn out in my favor? Will I hear something I won’t like? Am I destined to do something I don’t want to do? Will people be scared of me once they find out who— What I am?  And... Am I a monster like Rachel says I am?

Bam shook his head, trying very hard to stop those thoughts from spreading all over his mind like a disease. No. He’s here to become stronger so the people he cares about never leave. “I’ll withstand it somehow! That would be the fastest way!” He screamed at the God of Guardians, a bit agitated.

Immediately, the tall man replied: “No. This is beyond the level of attack you can bear. Even if I control it, it doesn’t guarantee it won’t leave an incurable trauma on your body and mind.”

What did it matter if it hurt just a bit? What did it matter if this would leave scars? What did it matter if he was shaking and his heart was racing with fear at the thought of being hit with a powerful attack like this? He knew what the implications were. 

He could die . But even so—

The God of Guardians kept talking, his voice firm: “Getting strong may be important, but it’s meaningless if you destroy yourself. Your wellbeing is the most important thing.”

Yeah, maybe he was right. And yeah, he knew this was a dangerous idea, but—

Suddenly, ocean blue eyes came to mind; hair as soft as silk, painted in the color of the tower’s artificial shinsu sky; an attractive smirk, an assertive voice full of all the confidence someone could muster.

That’s right…

That was right, there was something he feared more than death. 

He already lost Ehwa, Danhwa and Rak and his heart still darkened at the thought of it being his fault. He didn’t know if they were alive, so there was no way he could let his enemies take anyone else. What meaning would his life have if he wasn’t able to protect them? What would he amount to in this godforsaken tower if he wasn’t with his family?

He just needed to become stronger so that nobody would ever leave him. They would never judge him if something bad happened… right?

Bam forced himself to believe in that statement fervently.

Even if his body was being consumed by fear, the thought of his dearest friends filled him with all the confidence he needed. The resolute look on those golden eyes did not falter and melted gold met the pale yellow in the God of Guardian’s eyes; their brightness made the ancient being almost gasp. Even the giant, imposing man in front of him, who’d witnessed thousands and thousands of years of regulars and irregulars coming inside and leaving the rice pot, still felt a shiver travel down his spine at this burning gaze.

He knew he had lost this argument long ago.

“Do it for me, please.” Bam insisted. “There are more important things for me than my own life.”

The tall man had no choice but to believe in those unfaltering eyes. And while doing what the irregular asked for and seeing him still standing tall, two questions came to his mind: ‘Could this boy be the one to change the tower?’ 

And… ‘Could he be different from Jahad?’

Only time would tell.

On his way back to his friends, after so many days of training, Bam could still feel the pain of his stinging wounds. The fact that the thorn gave him the ability to heal a bit faster, didn’t mean he was exempt from feeling the aftermath of his long training sessions. But still, even if everything hurt terribly and his right leg was literally limping, he felt extremely alive and strong in this very moment.

He didn’t know what it was… maybe the new technique he learned or the fact that he finally came back to reunite with his friends. But one thing was for sure: Bam felt he could amount to anything, everything right now. And a conviction that he was where he was supposed to be, surrounded him whole.

He started walking faster through the train’s hallways at that thought, the clink of his footsteps stepping on the metallic floor increased as he ran and ran and ran . 

There was only one person he could picture as he approached their reunion place. And he wanted to talk to him as soon as possible. 

Khun.

He didn’t know when it started, but he always seemed drawn to his best friend like a magnet to metal; always wanting to reach out to him and tell him everything that was on his mind. Bam was conscious of how tense and awkward they were before and he also knew there were conversations pending between them... about his time at FUG, the many years of loneliness and fear he’d endured, about Rachel and the way he’d lost it when he saw her again, or the way Khun wanted to kill her. However, even if they’d gone through a lot recently, Khun had always kept by his side no matter what and constantly assured and reassured him that he had nowhere else to go. 

With actions or words, consciously or unconsciously, he always made it clear he would stay by his side.

And that was more valuable than anything he’d ever gotten from anyone before. Rak gave him this kind of reassurement too… but he was gone and the idea of losing Khun as well in the same way made everything unbearable.

As he kept walking, the last conversation he had with Khun still whirled in his mind.

“Hey, Bam…” Khun had said back then, stopping him in his tracks, just when he was about to leave to the Rice Pot.

“Yes, Khun?”

His best friend had looked away for a moment, probably formulating in his head what he was about to say. “Good luck in the Rice Pot.” And he paused to finally look at him. “I’m also going to train to become stronger as well.”

Bam had been surprised. Not because he never trained or worked hard. Khun was probably the most hard-working person he knew… but something in his eyes seemed different. A new determination hidden in those cobalt orbs that made his statement clearer than water. This wasn’t just a practical decision, like those he always made as the amazing strategist he was. Not a ‘we logically have to do it, so we don’t die in the Floor of Death’... It was more a conviction, something he had to do, not only to survive, not only for the situation they were facing, but for himself and what he believed in.

Bam knew all about that feeling, so he could not question it at all. Khun, too, had something to survive for. And he had made up his mind for the sake of that something.

Bam felt proud of him for it, even though he had no idea what had changed for his dearest friend that he was so willing to show it.

But, who was he to not answer with the same fervor? Bam dedicated the brightest and most sincere smile to him. “Then we’ll both do our best, Khun!”

Khun smiled, shiny, genuinely and so beautifully, it got Bam’s heart skipping a few beats. “Yes.”

And now, walking back, he couldn’t help but to smile to himself. He wondered if Khun had managed to train well, if he was hurt or had a hard time, if he was doing good so they could embark on this journey together.

Then, he saw him— a man dressed in blue walking through the hallways. A sky blue mop of hair that would always help Bam distinguish him anywhere. But Khun did not seem to notice he was near and just walked inside one of the rooms...

He wanted to shout his name. Say ‘Hey, Khun, I’m back! Back to you. ’ but words did not come out of his mouth so he just focused on running faster than before, even if his leg hurt quite a lot.

And, as soon as he got closer, he heard Sachi and Boro’s voices, exclaiming their welcomes to his friend. It made Bam’s heart accelerate in anticipation, thumping so fast he had to clutch his chest with his hand to calm it down a bit. He couldn’t understand this feeling. Why was it so different with Khun? Why was it that the sole thought of him made him feel both nervous and excited at the same time?

He could picture his beautiful face and the way his cheeks flushed a beautiful pink tint, his assertive smirk, his electric blue eyes steadily looking at him, his smooth and silky hair in the shades of the most beautiful light blue he had ever seen, along with those long eyelashes that matched perfectly with it, his voice full of confidence and the way it went down an octave when he spoke softly, full of the calming tone that assured him everything would be okay… which, Bam had realized, only happened when his words were directed at him. And he rejoiced and rejoiced in that fact.

Okay, he had to see him now.

Bam had always known everything was different with Khun and it made sense because he was his most precious friend; he also had known these particular feelings and that heavy, deep longing only happened when it involved Khun Aguero Agnis. But was there really more to it than he imagined? Bam decided maybe he needed to figure that out someday.

He just wondered... Did Khun feel the same when they were together? Did he feel happy being by his side? He didn't know why the answer to those questions scared him to the core.

However, an even more important question haunted him: would Khun want to stay with him even after they finish climbing the tower and fulfill their goals…?

There’s no point thinking that. Someday, he’ll leave and you’ll stay alone.

Bam stopped in his tracks when that disruptive thought suddenly rang in his head. He inhaled sharply as the pleasant feeling of seeing Khun suddenly transformed to fear. Darkness started blurring his sight. His hands started to shake as he saw himself back in the cave, alone in an immense blackness. Not even the torches all around him were lit up and even the clear hole in the ceiling Rachel came from was sealed. Only the heavy silence was his witness, ringing in his ears overwhelmingly. The smell of dampness also filled up his nostrils and his heart thumped rapidly one, two, three, infinite times.

There was no Rachel, no Khun. Nobody. 

He will leave you once he finds out about your past, just like Rachel did.

No.

He won’t want to climb the tower with a monster like you.

No!

Just like Rachel did.

Just like Ra —

“But Bam… Has he still not arrived?” A voice as soft as silk suddenly interrupted his anxious and distorted thoughts, serving as the guiding light that led him away from the chaotic darkness inside his deepest fears.

And he blinked back to see he was still in the Hell Train, near Sachi and Boro’s room. The lights were brighter than he remembered and Bam had to take deep breaths to relieve the heavy lump in his throat.

“He’s worried about me.” Bam whispered to himself. He felt the necessity to say it out loud so he could actually believe it.

Khun sought for him. Khun was worried about him.

And he’s always been. Khun had saved him from FUG. He'd taken care of him when the thorn was making things difficult, he’d been willing to continue being his friend even after thinking he was dead for so many years…

He’s not Rachel.

Without thinking too much about it, Bam took a step closer for his presence to get noticed and said: “I just got back.”

Sachi, Boro and Khun all turned their heads to him and the blue haired guy immediately smiled brightly. “Bam!”

Khun always said his name like an enchantment and Bam always felt bewitched by the way that voice called him; it was probably the only spell that would ever work on him… just because it was Khun doing it.

“Long time no see, Khun.” Bam said with a smile.

Although Khun had been smiling just a moment ago, his brows immediately furrowed when he took a look at his face. With a hand on his hip and piercing blue eyes that should’ve scared him but instead made his heart flutter, he said: “Why is your face such a mess, Bam?”

Suddenly, Khun’s hand brushed a strand of brown hair away from his face with his fingers, and his light touch passed down to his cheek delicately. Bam hissed as it hurt a bit, but he did not dare move away.

And then he saw it too. He looked a bit different, smaller even. Concern painted his face. “It looks like you had a bit of a tough time too, Khun. You look like you’ve lost weight.”

Khun frowned. “Oh, really?”

Bam nodded with a serious expression and, without thinking it too much, he placed both of his hands on each side of his waist. Khun let out a surprised yelp and widened his eyes. “ Bam !”

Khun’s cheeks were rosy with embarrassment and he flinched at his touch. Bam let him go very quickly, he couldn’t help but chuckle. He wasn’t even embarrassed. “Sorry. But your waist is smaller now! You have to take more care of yourself, Khun!”

Somebody behind Khun cleared their throat and Bam suddenly remembered Sachi and Boro were also in the room. “Oh, hi guys!” He greeted, with a bright smile.

Both of them awkwardly greeted him back and Bam whispered to Khun: “Tell me, have you eaten?”

He frowned and imitated his secretive tone. “Um… not yet.”

“Would you come with me?” He asked, extending his hand to Khun. 

Although the blue haired man was a bit surprised, he took his hand without hesitation. Bam smiled. “Sorry to interrupt! But I’ll steal him away for a moment, is that okay?”

“Uh… of course!” Sachi immediately said.

“Wow, aren’t you guys getting cl—” Boro was going to say, but Sachi immediately punched him in the shoulder. “Ouch, Sachi!”

“It’s okay, go ahead!” Sachi waved them off with a smile.

“Okay! We’ll catch up with you guys later, okay?”

Without waiting for a response, Bam was already dragging Khun away from the room.

In silence, both of them walked through the hallways. Bam noticed he was still holding Khun’s hand and while he wished they could stay like this forever, he let it go in case it made him feel uncomfortable. This gained a weird look from his best friend that Bam couldn’t quite decipher.

“So…” Khun trailed off. “Where are we going?” 

“I’m going to cook lunch for you.” Bam said, shrugging. “Do we have ingredients left from last time?”

“Cook lunch for me…?” Khun asked in disbelief. “Bam, you don’t have to—”

“I will. You’re losing weight and you have to eat properly.”

“Bam, I’m fine.” Khun was a bit exasperated, or Bam could even say… he was flustered, because his ears were slightly reddened. “Didn’t you just come back? You don’t have to strain yourself because of me…”

Bam was looking at him while he spoke and spoke, pointing out the various reasons why this was unnecessary, but Bam wasn’t listening, getting distracted by the way he looked instead. He didn’t even realize he had slowed his pace while they walked so he could have a better look at his best friend.

Although Bam had seen him wear different clothing styles, he’d never actually seen him in winter clothes before. The light blue cardigan he was wearing perfectly complemented the lovely shade of his hair, the cozy pants and grey boots...  It just looked great on him.

Wait, why was he so distracted by Khun today?

“.... and it was just a tough training session. I’ll be okay.” Khun finished.

When there was no response from him, Khun frowned. “Bam?” Both of them kept walking as their footsteps thumped against the hard floor and it made Bam hyper aware of the thumping on his heart.

“Oh! “Yeah…” Bam responded. “Sorry. I was distracted. But, you know, I get it was just a tough training session. But you’re always taking care of me, so let me do the same for you in return, okay?”

Once Khun sighed, Bam knew he had won. “Fine.”

Bam smiled.

After a while, they arrived at the small kitchen. It was such a nice change from the various times they had no choice but to eat canned food sitting on the floor or prepare bonfires in the middle of a hallway. They definitely had to make the best of this place before they embarked on a journey to the Floor of Death.

The kitchen was actually kind of cozy. It even made Khun and Bam forget they were in the Hell Train. White tiles adorned the walls and counters. A small black stove rested in the middle, alongside a very small sink. It did not have a freezer, probably because the supplies the train provided could be stored and preserved inside a lighthouse. Light entered from the window, letting them see the artificial shinsu sky, so blue and shiny, it resembled Khun’s hair.

The space they had was a bit cramped but it was better than nothing, so they could definitely work with this.

So Khun set his lighthouse in visible mode and handed it to Bam, who started inspecting the ingredients they had left. While he was on it in silence, he saw Khun walk towards him and lean against the kitchen counter, Bam could feel his intimidating gaze on him as he asked: “Are you okay?”

Bam frowned when he was asked that question and took a look at his hand in front of him. He wasn’t shaking that much anymore. His heart was still racing at the disruptives thoughts from back there, but being here with Khun was calming him down bit by bit.

Bam smiled. “Yes!” he said, although it was obvious Khun noticed he was hiding something. “I was actually very tired, but I’ll cook you something quick and we can catch up, okay?”

“Did something happen?” Khun still insisted with arms crossed, not buying it at all. “You’ve been acting a bit weird and a bit... impulsive. You only do that when something’s wrong.”

Impulsive? In what way had he acted impulsive back there?

Wait… he’d grabbed his waist and dragged him away from his conversation with Sachi and Boro so he could have him all by himself. Wasn’t that impulsive?

There was no way he could trick Khun. He knew him so well. But he didn’t want to talk about it. Just needed to spend time with him for a while. “Can we just… not talk about that right now?”

It was the confirmation Khun needed to understand something was, in fact, wrong. But instead of pressing further, he sighed. “Okay. But you don’t really have to cook for me if you’re not feeling well. I’ll be fine.”

Bam shrugged, as he took a look at the few ingredients they still had left in Khun’s lighthouse. Pasta, a canned heavy cream… They also had some preserved mushrooms, bacon strips and parsley. It was perfect. 

“But I want to.” Bam insisted, as he took the ingredients out, along with a pot and a pan. “I want to cook for you.”

Honestly, Bam didn’t know why he was doing this, but he just wanted to see the look on Khun’s face when he ate what he prepared for him. Cream pasta was his best friend’s favorite dish, which was very convenient because it was also Bam’s speciality. 

Bam wanted to demonstrate how grateful he was that he always stood by his side. Of course, it’s not like this was enough to thank him for all the things he’d done for him, but it definitely was a good start.

Was that weird? Well, he didn’t know. All he knew was that it made him happy to pamper Khun and he didn’t want to do this for anyone else other than him.

Khun just shrugged, giving up. “Okay.”

A few minutes later, food was ready and served and they both sat on one of Khun’s blue lighthouses. While the other served as a table for their plates and cutlery. There was little space but Bam felt absolutely comfortable sitting by his most precious friend’s side.

Also, Khun wasn’t complaining. Instead he concentrated on rolling some pasta around his fork and taking it to his mouth. The creamy dish immediately made Khun moan at how tasty it was. “Oh my god… this is so good!” Khun exclaimed.

And right now, looking at Khun as he ate the food he’d prepared him with utmost care, Bam couldn’t help but to smile fondly at the sight.

Khun had changed a lot since they first met. Bam remembered he would eat with restraint back at the floor of tests, not even caring about enjoying the food in front of him, just focusing on putting up an act of this calm and collected person. And it was so intriguing for him back then, after all Bam devoured everything he had in front of him like the caveman he was.

Well, he’d also changed a bit and learned his manners. And he demonstrated it when he also took a bite of his pasta and enjoyed it thoroughly, the creamy dish and the taste of bacon making magic on his mouth. 

Minutes had passed. Both of them concentrated on eating the delicious food Bam had prepared, only speaking a few words here and there. And some smiles and chuckles were shared when one bumped his shoulder against the other involuntarily.

Anyone would’ve been uncomfortable with the little space they had, but Bam enjoyed and adored every minute spent by Khun’s side.

“Hey Khun...” Bam said after a while, when they were finally full and were washing the dishes in the small kitchen.

“Hm?”

“When I first met you, you never seemed to enjoy food; but a moment ago even your eyes were glinting and you were eating so eagerly.”

It was just wonderful to see Khun was finally enjoying things he didn’t in the past, it was nice to see him smiling more… Bam silently wondered what had changed in his life these past few years.

Khun, who was wiping a plate with a towel right by his side, suddenly turned his head to him with a frown. “You think?” He asked.

“Yeah. It’s really nice to see.”

“Well...” Khun paused, looking at the ceiling lost in thought. “I think it’s because you didn’t cook for me before.”

Bam frowned for a moment and concentrated on scrubbing the other plate and rinsing it with water. “Because I didn’t cook before?”

His best friend sighed and looked away. Bam didn’t know why, but his heart accelerated as he waited for a response.

“What I mean is… I like the food you prepare. So it’s kinda impossible for me not to eat with joy.”

Bam almost drops the place he’s holding at the affirmation and stares at Khun. Now his friend was biting his lip without looking at him and he felt the urge to get in his line of sight just to see what kind of expression he was making.

His heart was beating so fast and he was glad the sound of the train’s engines moving outside was so loud or Khun could’ve clearly heard it.

“O-Oh!” Bam exclaimed.

And it was all he said for a moment, both of them stayed silent in the train’s lonely kitchen.

“Anyway,” Khun broke the silence, placing the plate and utensils back into the lighthouse while Bam dried his hands with a towel. “That pasta was really good, so thank you for the food.” 

Bam was still nervous and he was sure his cheeks were burning, but a fuzzy and warm feeling spread all over him and he smiled, so happy. “I’ll cook more for you, Khun! If you like my cooking so much and it makes you eat with so much joy, I’ll totally do it all the time.”

Khun laughed, musically and so beautifully, Bam couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He didn’t want to, either. “Good, then. Because I’m the worst cook ever so you’ll save me from starving.”

“The worst?” Bam asked. “It’s not that bad. I think your cooking is nice.”

Khun looked at him as if he was completely crazy. “Are you kidding? Bam, I set bread on fire once!”

Bam chuckled at the mention of that incident, so joyful and happy. It wasn’t at all surprising Khun always managed to alleviate his nervousness and fears just by talking to him.

“I would eat it anyway, you know?” Bam commented in a sheepish tone. “Everything you cook, even if you think it’s a disaster.”

“Well, I don’t want to be the cause of your death.” Khun joked, leaning forward to his face. A smirk extended in his lips.

Bam almost gasped at how close they were now, and he felt the need to move closer, but he immediately refrained. He did, however, smirk back and replied: “You won’t be. You’re already the cause of my life.”

Khun immediately went silent when he heard those words. His unblinking eyes stared at him in disbelief, seeking an answer to what he wanted to ask but couldn’t, all while his face gradually became redder and redder each second that passed.

Bam burst into laughter at the way confident and assertive Khun, who never got speechless, was gaping at him without even being able to say a word.

Khun looked away out of embarrassment. Bam knew he didn’t like to be laughed at. But he really couldn’t help it, Khun was so pretty.

“You’re... really acting weird.”

Bam laughed even more at the affirmation. Maybe he really was being weird today, but if acting weird meant he would get to see Khun’s rosy cheeks again, he would definitely do that all over again.

Bam smiled, and leaned his back against the wall beside Khun. With eyes closed, he sighed.

“Are you finally going to tell me what’s wrong?” Khun asked after a while.

“I’m just…” Bam made a pause, finding it difficult to say a coherent word. “I’m a bit scared.”

‘A bit’ would be an absolute understatement. However, that was the only thing Bam was capable of saying.

“Because of... the Floor of Death?” Khun tried.

Bam nodded silently, now opening his eyes to look at his best friend. The worried expression Khun had made him want to hug him, but he refrained. 

“Why?” Khun encouraged him to continue. 

“I have a feeling the Floor of Death is a place I absolutely have to go to.” Bam admitted. “But I don’t want to risk anyone’s lives… much less if it’s because of me.” 

Khun shrugged. “I’m going with you for my own personal reasons, Bam. I’m sure all of the people here with us are the same.”

But will all of them really keep being by his side once he finds the answers he needs? Won’t they hate him if he turned out to be a monster? If he turned out to be someone like Jahad?

Unconsciously, words escaped his mouth before he could even realize: “Will you hate me?” But the question was asked in the softest tone he could muster and judging by Khun’s frown, Bam knew he couldn’t hear.

“Will I what?”

Bam didn’t know why that particular question was the one that escaped his lips, but he realized, deep inside, that it was because it held more weight in his heart. A lump in his throat formed when he realized there was a possibility he could lose all of this, laughing with Khun, cooking with him, making him flustered, listening to his plans, spending time with him... 

He didn’t want this.

He didn’t want this at all.

And then Khun took his hand and the weight of his fears suddenly lifted. He looked at him with wide eyes and lips parted in shock. Khun’s steady glance managed to calm his aching heart and silence lingered between them, a silence that served as the perfect response to his questions and doubts. A little squeeze in his hand felt like Khun was reading his mind and reassuring him, making his fears dissipate into the shinsu around them.

He did not need to say anything for him to realize this was a silent promise. That he was willing to stay with him and confront everything together .

Bam did not want to have this kind of connection with anyone else and he hoped, from the bottom of his heart that Khun thought the same.

“Tell me, Bam. What are you afraid of?” He insisted. “Is there anything I can do?”

You’re already doing so much...

He was already helping him with his presence alone, but still, he felt the need to blurt out what he felt. “I’m scared you w—”

“Bam!” A sudden voice suddenly interrupted their conversation and both of them turned their heads to the very familiar and loud voice.

Endorsi.

They could hear rushed steps coming through the hallway, and the princess appeared in the kitchen’s entrance seconds later, looking extremely annoyed. Behind her, was Yuri’s observer, transmitting her also annoyed voice. Bam felt his heart skip a beat because it was obvious their anger was his fault somehow.

Khun let go of his hand at her presence and Bam really felt the loss of it.

“You didn’t tell me you came back!” Endorsi exclaimed, signaling him with her finger.

“Yeah, Bam! We were all really worried about you!” Yuri spoke. “How was training?”

Oh... yup, it was his fault.

Honestly, he’d been so focused on the fact that Khun was losing weight, he forgot to tell everyone else he was here.

“Sorry, I was eating with Khun.” 

“That’s unfair! You cooked for him, didn’t you?” Endorsi grumbled.

“Bam! Did you really cook and didn’t share with us?!” Yuri added.

Well, at least the princesses agreed on something. Both of them scolded him for a while and he just took it without a word, laughing awkwardly and scratching the nape of his neck.

Khun just stayed silent beside him while Bam promised both of the girls he will spend more time with them. He apologized one hundred times until they were content.

And, when he was going to leave the kitchen with Endorsi, giving an apologetic look to Khun, the blue haired guy grabbed his hand, stopping him from leaving.

Bam widened his eyes at the sudden movement and Khun got closer to him, so close it was Bam’s turn to flush red at the proximity and be at a complete loss of words.

“Bam…” His best friend whispered, so only he could hear him. Endorsi had already walked away from the kitchen and Bam looked at him, expectant.

But after a moment of Khun debating whether to speak his mind or not, he looked away and sighed, as if giving up. “God, I’m so bad at this…” 

But Bam understood his intentions right away. Khun never admitted it, but Bam knew it was hard for him to cheer people up, probably because, just like him, Khun didn’t have a normal childhood. He probably never had someone who cared for him, who told him everything will be okay. And honestly, he was the same… All Rachel did was tell him half truths, half lies. Still, he could see it in the way he grabbed his hand, that he wanted to try for him, that he was there for him. And that realization filled him with so much joy.

“Khun…”

This time, Khun looked at him.

Bam looked at those steady blue eyes and got lost in them for a second, finding calm in the deep blue pools in his irises, relaxing at the sole presence of his most precious friend and feeling so comforted at the way his hand held his so firmly, like letting him know he wasn’t going to let it go.

“I understand.” Bam said, a warm smile extending in his lips. Bam squeezed his hand with his.

Bam did not know what he was doing, but still, he lifted their intertwined hands and placed a kiss on the back of Khun’s, making his precious friend immediately gasp. “Thank you.”

A sudden darkness enveloped the Hell Train, announcing that they were approaching their intended destiny. The blackness came full of a terrifying calm, making them uncertain and fearful for an entire month.

Even so, everyone had been able to rest pretty well so they could finally embark to their journey.

Bam’s wounds were cured, but his fears did not falter. Each day the darkness got to him, making him shiver and cower under it. Expectancy was making him anxious and he wondered each day about what he’ll find in the Floor of Death.

The pending conversation with Khun never happened, or more than that, each time one of them tried to talk about it, someone or something interrupted them. It was either because Endorsi barged into the room, kicking the door and screaming at Bam for getting lost or because Hockney, the new mysterious guy accompanying them, was looking at them with those terrifyingly piercing eyes, like he could see beyond their every move and word.

Well, Bam figured the universe didn’t want them to have a conversation and maybe, it was better that way.

Right now, after so much time, they finally arrived at the Floor of Death. Bam found himself staring at the crimson sea in front of them, the shinsu flowing and gurgling in a totally uninviting way. Hwaryun had said they had to jump off and had emphasized it was safe. Bam truly trusted her decisions, but...

“Seems like we’ll have to do it.” Khun suddenly said, coming behind him, also observing the sea in front of them.

“Do you think we’ll be okay?”

Khun exhaled a puff of air and placed a hand on his chin. “Honestly, I’m not sure. But Hwaryun did say the real Floor of Death was covered by the administrator’s body, so…”

Bam grimaced at the thought of having to jump inside someone’s body. But well... this wasn’t the worst thing they’ve done, was it?

Boro came by their side a moment later, also inspecting what they had in front of them. He had a frightened expression and looked at both Khun and Bam. “We’re supposed to just jump from here…? Man, this is just insane.”

Khun shrugged and told him with a straight face: “Just keep it simple, if we see you jump and survive, then the rest of us will go in after you.”

Boro gaped at him. “You— You say the scariest things like they’re nothing.”

Bam snorted at the exchange, finding Khun’s bluntness so funny. It seemed like a joke, but judging by the look on his face he knew it definitely wasn’t. 

A moment later, while they waited to finally move to their destination. Hockney, who was initially against going to the Floor of Death, suddenly announced he was going too. Apparently, he had something he needed to find as soon as possible. Khun suggested it was better to keep him close, since there was a possibility that Rachel was controlling him with Emily and maybe they could use this against her.

And that’s how all of them found themselves with a new companion, standing in front of Ha Yura who suggested they should make a deal: she’ll give them information about the thorn fragment and tell them about team Sweet and Sour’s whereabouts in exchange of letting them go in peace.

They agreed a bit unwillingly, but they had no other choice but to give in. Yura told them about Wangnan and how his team managed to escape, probably hiding on the train, adding that Casano agreed to save Horyang… Bam felt a weight on his shoulders suddenly lift at the fact that his companions were safe and sound and Horyang will finally be able to come back.

However, Bam felt a rush of blood to the head when he heard the information Yura had about the thorn: ‘Find the house where the princess of the deep colored sea lives and ask her for it. If you go to the place where the waterfalls flow and follow the red light, you will find the thorn fragment.’

A shiver traveled down his spine and once again, he felt he was in the right direction, that something big was going to happen soon.

However, Khun immediately mistrusted Yura’s words, refusing with all his might to let them escape. Bam didn’t know what to do either, if Khun was suspicious of Yura then he believed he was right, but they already made a deal…

“Khun…!”

“Think about it, Bam.” Khun exclaimed. “There are way too many strange things about the clues that she gave us. The fact that she even made a deal with us and told us that stuff in the first place is suspicious. Something must have happened to Wangnan’s team.”

Oh no… Bam didn’t want to think Yura was lying about that, if any of his companions were dead because of him, he will…

“We can’t let them go like this, Bam!” Khun insisted.

“Why are you all gathered here?” A deep voice suddenly spoke, rumbling the place eerily.

Karaka.

Everything rumbled as Karaka started fighting with princess Yuri. The lighthouses supporting everyone’s weight suddenly moved and they were about to fall. Bam took a quick look at Khun, who was trying his hardest to keep the lighthouses floating so Yura and company couldn’t escape.

“You’re going to the Floor of Death with me. Follow me.” Karaka told Yura and the woman immediately obeyed.

However…

“Jue Viole Grace. You can’t fool me just by changing your hairstyle.” The man said.

And then the shinsu started moving around, dragging him towards the other slayer. Closer. So much closer Bam thought maybe this was it. He couldn’t dodge the man’s attack at all, but remembering what the God of Guardians had taught him, he realized he could do something to prevent being taken away.

A sphere of shinsu was gathered in between his hands with the intention to destroy Karaka’s attack before it hit him, but Evan managed to save him, sending an enormous robotic hand to take him away from the slayer’s range and preventing him immediately from getting caught.

Karaka retreated, as he knew there was no time to lose before princess Yuri beat him in a fight.

“T-Thank you, Evan.” Bam said with a sheepish smile.

“What were you thinking?” Evan scolded. “He’s a ranker! What were you just standing there for....?!” 

Bam knew he deserved the scolding, but there was no way he couldn’t have stayed there without counterattacking. 

Sighing and gripping his fist in frustration, he closed his eyes. 

He still needed to get stronger.

That was the only way he’ll be able to protect everyone and not cause problems for anyone else.

They had decided to finally go inside. Hockney was the first to jump off, telling them it was safe to go. They trusted him since falling on the red shinsu sea didn’t damage him and did the same.

And now, submerged underwater, all Bam could hear was the sound of the deep sea burbling in his ears, serenading him as he kept his eyes closed, feeling the movements of his companions swimming around as well. Then, when he opened his eyes next time, he looked to the side to see a silvery blue light shining in the opposite direction they were heading to.

In a trance he couldn’t quite explain, he started to chase that light… His golden eyes fixed on the shiny object ahead.

What was it? Why did he feel like it was calling him?

Behind him, he could faintly distinguish a voice calling him: “Hey! Snap out of it!! You can’t go that way! Come back.”

But Bam kept going, absolutely fixated on discovering what this was. Was the Floor of Death luring him into something? Each time that he swam he felt more certain it held the answers he needed.

Suddenly, his eyes became blurry, but he kept advancing, trying to reach it. He fought and fought with the feeling but his eyelids closed by themselves as if something was forcing him to sleep.

“Bam!!” Khun’s voice calling him was the last thing he heard before losing consciousness.

In the distance, Bam could distinguish the sound of voices talking. But an endless ringing inside his head clouded his judgement and he couldn’t clearly tell who was with him.

The silver light appeared in the middle of darkness and he felt an immense longing surround him. He felt it was still calling him, luring him into chasing it.

... Where could it be?

And then he slowly opened his eyes. He sat up to see Hockney and a black haired man he didn’t know standing in front of a strange setting. The walls all around them looked like some kind of circuit composed of lines, painted blues and silvers, like blood vessels connecting to each other and making everything flow. In the middle, a tall man shone in all his glory, imposing and intimidating, glaring daggers into them.

“Alright, how am I going to trick the Final Gatekeeper...?” The black haired man asked Hockney.

Bam’s head hurt a lot, the annoying headache blurred his sight and the ringing on his ears had not ceased. He couldn’t exactly pay attention to what was happening at that very moment. He could just hear the other’s name: Yuliu Mata.

“... Hockney?” Bam called, his mouth felt dry when he spoke.

“Are you awake?!” Hockney exclaimed as he ran towards him.

“Where am I... where are the others?”

Where’s Khun...?  Was what he wanted to ask next. He was sure he heard his voice screaming his name just a moment ago.

“Shh... be quiet for a minute.”

Bam tilted his head to the side in confusion, but obeyed and stayed silent. Hockney kept his voice low, explaining to him all about the High-Leech Monk, ‘The Final Gatekeeper’. He was the guard of the main entrance, who had the job of stealing away the souls of those who wished to get to the Floor of Death.

Hockney explained that the people who resided inside this terrifying place had gotten their souls stolen away, being unable to even die. This meant they will forever be trapped in the Floor of Death for eternity, because without their souls... they couldn’t leave.

This surprised Bam very much. In order to get inside he had to sacrifice himself... He knew that if they acted carelessly, they will never get out of here ever again, but his conviction was stronger than the fear of dying, and he clenched his fists decisively.

However, something worried him even more than losing his soul, Bam just wondered about the others too... were they safe? Did they get their souls stolen away?

He was sure Khun would have a plan and that all of them were capable of taking care of themselves. Plus, they had Hwaryun and Evan. But still, he was worried. If something happened to them he would feel guilty forever.

But you’re here now... so you must carry on, Bam.

That’s right. Carry on was all he could do. He’ll try to contact Khun later and let him know he was safe. That way he could also know if they made it too.

Mata, apparently Hockney’s acquaintance, was trying to trick the Gatekeeper so they could get inside without their souls getting taken. However, the Monk’s voice resounded the place. “I have decided you, parasite Mata, will not be allowed inside the Floor of Death!”

Although Mata tried his best, the Gatekeeper had been able to detect their souls, making it impossible to hide away.

That was how Bam and Hockney still found themselves in front of the Final Gatekeeper. Both of them had something more important than their lives to find in the Floor of Death and there was no way they were turning back now.

After both stated their names, the divine sea fish suddenly floated in their direction, each one hovering respectively over their chests. The first to get their soul taken was Hockney and it all turned out okay. However, when it was Bam’s turn, there was a pause.

The divine sea fish seemed confused as it didn’t find a soul, Bam could hear it’s small voice murmuring in confusion. But suddenly, a handful of souls came from his chest, one after one following the other, making everyone present immensely surprised.

The souls he got from Hoaquin’s clone... He had to take care of them no matter what happened.

“Um... Could I just leave my soul only?” He asked. “I have to protect these people’s souls...”

“Who are you?” The Final Gatekeeper asked instead. “A monster?”

A monster...

Was he really one? Will somebody prove this fact today...?

There was no way he could tell him he was an irregular and it was obvious the man wouldn’t believe him if he talked about Hoaquin. So he just decided to tell a lie: “I’m just an ordinary regular. I’ll leave my soul with you so please let me in.” 

“Request denied!” The monk stated, voice sharp and definite.

Bamboo spears threatened to get thrown at them right immediately. Bam got into battle position. The thorn behind him shone with it’s blinding red light, gathering the shinsu all around it and readying itself to ignite.

“What’s your position?” Hockney asked him, agitated.

“I’m... I’m a wave controller!” Bam exclaimed.

“Send as much shinsu as you can right into the center of the bamboo spear. The only way to destroy it is to aim for the center!”

Bam followed Hockney’s instructions, gathering a shinsu Black-Hole Sphere on his hands. Aiming for the center, just like his companion had told him, he threw the powerful attack. And the shinsu blasted off every single spear in one go, making everyone around gasp in awe.

Now that he knew Bam was a threat, the Final Gatekeeper prepared his spears once again, deciding to take him down before he caused any more havoc. 

However, even though Bam prepared himself to throw another attack, the Gatekeeper suddenly stopped.

Just after a few seconds of both Hockney and Bam feeling immensely puzzled by the man’s actions, he suddenly spoke: “I guess I don’t have a choice...” He gave a pause, making both Hockney and Bam expectant.

Then, just like that, the man said: “I will let you pass.”

Bam and Hockney exchanged looks of confusion. What could’ve possibly happened that he changed his mind so abruptly?

Later, they were traveling to get to the Floor of Death inside Mata’s monster “Manyleg”. The Final Gatekeeper had given them permission to enter with their souls, with the condition that they had to leave in the span of a week, otherwise they will become prey for the dead.

As Hockney talked and explained a bit of the Floor of Death, his friend Mata suddenly hugged him from behind, making Hockney blush at the touch. The next thing he knew, he was dragging him away to have a talk.

“Congratulations, you’ve finally found a potential friend!” Mata spoke loudly, hugging him in celebration.

“It’s... it’s not like that!” Hockney insisted, but his friend did not seem to listen to him.

Bam couldn’t refrain his giggles at the weird exchange and he looked away as he remembered he still needed to contact his friends.

Actually, he wanted to contact one person specifically… 

“Pocket, visible mode.” He murmured to himself.

He checked his pocket to see if there were any calls or messages, but the device stated he had 0 missed calls. This made him feel a bit disappointed.

Was Khun okay? He still remembered his worried voice screaming for him and how Hockney told him a moment ago he was willing to risk it all to save him at all costs.

“Call Khun.” He commanded his pocket. Although the device obeyed his command and tried to ring Khun, it couldn’t quite reach him, stating on its screen that there was no signal to dial anyone.

Even though Bam knew this wasn’t going to work, he still tried to call him several times. The pocket always showed him he wasn’t available, but he still stubbornly called and called. 

After a moment, he had to give up.

He sighed. He really wished Khun were here right now. “I guess there’s no way to contact him.” He murmured to himself.

When Bam turned around, a sudden shadow rushed towards the blue orb that served to move Manyleg. The three present were surprised to see a woman standing on it, she was wearing a grey coat, her fluffy hood hiding part of her face from Hockney and Mata. But her beautiful face was clear to Bam.

She had silvery cold eyes, resembling the winter surrounding them at that very moment. She was lacking a light in her eyes, like someone who has seen too much, but she smiled and it softened her expression. Bam was sure this woman was incredibly dangerous because her presence felt heavy and strong and the shinsu shook before her; her hair was different shades of blues and silvers, light on the front, a little darker at the ends… her eyelashes and eyebrows the same beautiful shade of the lighter tone. It kind of resembled Khun’s hair, but he couldn’t tell if she was from the Khun family or not. The only thing he was sure of is that she was probably the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Although he couldn’t say she won the prize for the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. That one belonged to Khun only.

“Seeing you up close like this, you’re really cute.” She spoke, a musical and feminine voice that made Bam’s heart rush. “No wonder two princesses of Jahad are following you around.”

Later, when he traveled with Mata, Hockney and the woman to North City and rode the winged beast Ya-Du, he discovered the girl was Garam Jahad, the princess who went missing with two of the 13 month series a long ago, she had betrayed the Jahad family and was currently hiding in the Floor of Death. She was acquainted with Urek and Bam had seriously been surprised she had taken interest in him, but she had stated that there was something she needed to give him.

And they were now face to face, Garam started explaining her reasons for leaving the Jahad family. She’d learned too much about why the princesses were selected, about why they cannot rise to higher positions, what kind of person Jahad was and…

“About your existence,” she added.

Her words made Bam freeze on the spot, as his heart started thumping so fast inside his chest. 

This was it, wasn’t it? These were the answers he had come looking for. This was the reason why that light was calling him.

Unconsciously, he found himself wishing Khun was with him at this very moment. He didn’t know why, but he needed his support. He needed him to hold his hand so that he could stay calm and face this. 

It was unfortunate he wasn’t here and there was nothing he could do. 

“You… know about me?”

“That’s right. I’ve known about you for a long time. Of course, I don’t have any kind of absolute beliefs about your existence… However—” She made a pause, looking at the floor. “You have the right to know who you are. Do you want to know about yourself?”

Bam took a step forward. “Yes...! Anything!!”

Garam nodded. “Alright. Then I’ll tell you what I know. However… it’s up to you to take responsibility for whatever you hear.”

Bam felt goosebumps prickling the hairs of his arms at those words. What could it possibly be for a fugitive Jahad princess to take interest in him? Who was he... ? Why was he here?

However… “You will find out about the things that I do not tell you when you have gotten strong enough and can take responsibility for them.”

“Wait… I…!” Bam exclaimed. This wasn’t fair! He wanted to know everything!

“I know you must be curious to learn about yourself. But I can’t tell you more than you can handle. It would ruin you if I did.”

Bam knew she was right and there was no way he could argue with that. So he opted to calm down and listen to her. “Alright.”

And then, Garam’s story began…

What was known about king Jahad at the moment was that he entered the tower as an irregular and climbed it with the ten great family leaders. He ended up making a deal with the administrator, obtained an immortal body and became the invincible warrior, praised by everyone on all the 134 floors. Even more important than all of that, he became a king because he took pity on the habitants of the tower.

Since his blood was so strong, he was unable to have a child with any woman. Thus, Poe Bidau Gustang proposed to select outstanding female candidates and inject them with his blood, making them compete with each other to obtain all 13 month series in order to become Jahad’s wife. 

Bam knew no princess had managed to do so yet.

However… Garam told him that wasn’t the whole truth.

The 13 months bore evil magic, capable of consuming the Jahad’s princesses' minds and making them hate and kill each other. This awoke havoc between the family leaders, developing a fight between all of them that will never be resolved.

And in between this seemingly endless war, a genius who seemed like she could end the tragedy appeared: Anne Jahad.

Anne bore the blood of two leaders mixed within her. She was the wielder of the Colorless December and displayed talents that even the feuding leaders had no choice but to acknowledge. Garam admitted she had great admiration for this woman.

However, right at the moment it seemed like this cruel competition would finally end…

She went insane.

Anne went mad and murdered everyone from the Jahad family who crossed her path. Thus, it was decided she should be trapped inside a mysterious labyrinth.

“I couldn’t believe that a girl whom I had admired so much would end up like that… So I risked my life to break in there and meet her.” Garam explained. Bam was listening intently, so surprised to be learning of this cruel competition and Anne’s descent. “And that’s what I heard from her… Jahad’s secret...”

Jahad had never intended to marry anyone from the very beginning. The only reason he created the princesses of Jahad was to wipe out people’s immediate complaints. He actually had a first love whom he couldn’t forget.

Her name was… Arlene Grace.

There was something entirely familiar about that name. Arlene… Arlenep’s hand like the place FUG had taken him to, like the place he first reunited with Khun after so many years. Grace… like the last name FUG had given him back then. 

Who was this?

Bam was truly starting to shake thinking about this, a knot formed on his throat making it impossible to breathe normally. He knew this concerned him and he’d wanted answers for so much time, but now that he was facing this alone, he felt scared…

Maybe Garam was right, if she told him everything it would be unbearable. 

“She’s the person who caused this whole tragedy to begin with…” Garam made a pause to look at him in the eyes, a strange expression in her face. “And the one who brought you into this world.” 

Something in Bam suddenly stopped when she heard Garam’s words, understanding right away that this had to be…

“When you say that she brought me into this world, do you mean…. she’s my mother?” Bam asked, desperate to know more.

“Well— How should I explain this…?” Garam looked at him apologetically. “I’m not sure you can call her a mother.”

Arlene Grace turned out to be one of the irregulars who entered the tower along with the ten great family leaders. To Bam’s surprise, contrary to what he’d heard of before, there used to be not ten, but thirteen irregulars who entered the tower that day… thirteen just like the 13 month series. Apparently, the key was split up into thirteen months so Jahad and his companions could share it.

Although it was unbelievable to Garam that this Irregular woman existed, Anne Jahad told her to find Arlene Grace’s pocket. She broke through the Jahad family’s obstacles and managed to find it.

As soon as Garam started talking about this woman, Bam felt incredibly anxious about this new discovery. The woman named Arlene had been in love with a man called by the affectionate name ‘V’ and in her pocket, she stated that they had apparently gotten engaged… 

While he listened, Bam wondered… were they his parents? And if so, what had happened to them? Why had he grown up alone, trapped in a cave all those years?

He knew something tragic must’ve happened to them.

Garam mentioned that both Arlene and V opposed Jahad’s decisions because he was ‘blinded by falsehoods’, as Arlene stated in her journal. Jahad obviously did not stop, willing to become the king of the tower. After he made a deal with the administrator and obtained immortality, he proposed to Arlene; but since her heart belonged to V, she refused.

This enraged Jahad. 

Arlene and V ran away and formed an organization to oppose him, but for some reason, the ten family leaders sided with Jahad. That was how they lost the war and became fugitives.

While they ran away, however, within Arlene’s body yet another life was waiting to be born...

“You mean… that baby was…?” Bam tried, hoping with all his might that this was a positive thing, but... 

“No… that child…” he saw Garam sigh, debating whether or not to tell him about this, but she gave in a moment later. “That child was murdered by Jahad.”

Murdered…

It was all Bam could hear, that word repeating over and over again in his head and nothing else.

Murdered. Jahad had killed him before. How was he alive? Why  was he alive...?

Then there was no other explanation, wasn’t it? If he’s somehow still here, then that meant was a monster.

And when all of the people who mattered to him found out about this, they will leave.

Just like Rachel did. His subconscious screamed.

Bam’s breath hitched and his hands started trembling, but he held himself in place.

“Arlene couldn’t go on with her sanity intact, ultimately a sense of loss after losing her child and wrath towards Jahad drove her insane.” Garam kept going, not at all noticing Bam’s concern or the way he was shaking at this very moment.

Or the way Bam’s nails dug into his skin as he clenched his fists.

Although he kept listening to Garam’s story about his ‘mother and father’, he heard her voice coming faintly as his head hurt and his heart accelerated.

He knew this was a lot to take. Maybe this was the reason why Rachel decided it was better to leave him alone in that cave.

Maybe Bam didn’t deserve to be here at this very moment. He wasn’t supposed to be alive.

Not bearing the pain the loss of his son had caused, V had taken his own life, only leaving a note of goodbye to Arlene. 

Arlene tried to find a way to escape from the tower, to find a place where she could see the sky and the shining stars, a place far away from Jahad. She took her son… —him? Bam was her son?— And offered his body to the god on the outside.

A monster…

He was a monster…

What would Khun think about this…?

Would he be grossed out? Angry? Would he frown at him? Would he leave once he found out he had somehow come back to life?

But he remembered that day at the kitchen. The way he grabbed his hand in a silent promise, the way his cobalt eyes calmed all his insecurities just with a simple glance, the way he kept following him no matter what happened or what he did…

He needed to talk to him about this.

Khun will prove him wrong.

He will prove to him he’s not a monster. He will tell him how human he is.

And Bam will believe him, because Khun was always right.

“Someday, that god’s power will enter this dead child’s body and awaken him again.” Garam read out loud from a pocket, now walking towards him to be in front of him, catching Bam’s attention, making him widen his eyes. “That child will open the door to this tower and return someday. He shall achieve vengeance for my love and finish the war which we started with his own hands. He shall destroy corrupt power and bring the truth to the tower.”

Bring the truth… if he did all of that, if he really was the child of that prophecy, then was he capable of creating a paradise in which he will stay with everyone?

Or will they leave just like Rachel did?

Just like Rach —

No. He will find it, with or without Rachel. He wasn't going back to that cave with her anymore and if she thought he was a monster… then it was fine that she wanted to keep her distance. It did not matter anymore.

Khun wouldn’t think that.

Khun would stay by his side and, somehow, he knew all of his other friends appreciated him enough to want that too.

“God’s messenger shall place the red thorn in that child’s hands and that child shall use the red thorn to cut the throat of the greedy king.” Garam kept reading. “And he shall find the hidden key, open the door and lead everyone on the tower to greater heights.”

Bam clenched his fists with more strength, breathing out a puff of air he didn’t know he was holding. This was the reason why FUG had given him the thorn Enryu the Irregular had left in the Floor of Death after battling with the administrator… The thorn he needed to find in order to find that paradise with his friends.

… with Khun.

“You are the child of that prophecy, Jue Viole Grace.” Garam assured. “Jahad and the 10 leaders did everything they could to erase all records of Arlene and you, any structures and records concerning her were destroyed. But it appears that not even that is enough to change destiny… her records remain here even to this day and you have now appeared before me. You were destined to come to this place.”

And she was right. He had felt that sense of longing when he came to this place. The place where Arlene had given birth to him and raised him, even if he couldn’t remember what happened.

Garam sighed and offered him a smile, a compassionate one, devoid from the usual smugness Bam had gotten used to in the last few hours. “Regardless of whatever destiny brought you to this place, it’s up to you to decide what path to take. So even if you choose to avoid that destiny and go down a different path, I will not criticize you for it.” She admitted. “Because that’s a massive and difficult burden to bear…”

Bam looked at the floor. The Bam who had no one else but Rachel wouldn’t have done it. He would’ve ignored this destiny just to go and live with her… He would’ve been happy like that. But he was not the same person he used to be, nor did he have the same objectives he used to. He couldn’t comprehend a life without his friends… and even more importantly, he had to admit he definitely couldn’t think of a life that didn’t have Khun in it.

He wouldn’t find a paradise if he wasn’t there.

So he decided he had to do it. He had to accept his destiny and bring that paradise to the people of the tower, so he could be happy with the people who mattered to him. So he could see Khun smirk and laugh and joyously eat delicious food he would prepare for him.

That was his priority.

And along the way,  Jahad, FUG and the ten great families— anyone who dared to get in his way will be nothing but his enemy.

“No… I’ll do it. Not because of my destiny, but by my own will.”

And now, after having defeated Hell Joe, he stood in front of Urek Mazino who hugged him and invited him to Wolhaiksong. Bam wasn’t exactly against the idea, but he was still a Slayer Candidate. Urek understood this, but let him know that only he was the one who had the right to choose what to do with his life. Bam didn’t have the time to respond… before the voice he’d wanted to hear for a long time, suddenly called his name. “Bam!”

He immediately smiled, so brightly it almost hurt his jaw. “Khun!” he exclaimed.

The next thing he knew he was flying towards him at the fastest speed he could muster. From the distance, he saw the glimpse of that icy blue hair moving with the wind. Winter clothes, booths and gloves that made him look even more handsome than ever… and he exclaimed his name with so much delight.

Khun smiled at him, calling his name, so welcoming… Bam had never been happier than he was now.

Looking at him was like finding a silver lining in the middle of a storm. An oasis in the desert… and he wanted to stay in that calm forever. The next thing he knew he was hugging him and both of them stumbled on the floor and fell down.

Khun was scolding him but it wasn’t even because he made him fall down. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been since you disappeared?”

And Bam laughed and giggled and held him tight, hugging him for dear life, feeling so elated he finally had Khun right in front of him.

“Were you worried about me?” Bam asked him.

“Of course!” Khun responded, glaring at him. “How could I not be worried after you drifted away from us like that?”

“I tried to call you.” Bam admitted and hid his face on his chest. “But my pocket didn’t really work properly after getting caught in that undercurrent.”

He remembered how he commanded the pocket to call him a million times, but no signal was found. He did it again, and again, and again… and again, repeating the process as much as he could, even if he knew there was no use. Seeing Mata and Hockney interact did not help either… Each word, hug they exchanged just reminded him of  Khun and he wanted to see him more.

No matter how much time had passed, he’d still wanted to tell Khun about what Garam told him. He was still anxious and scared— frightened, even. Bam was still shocked about his ‘mother and father’, about what happened to them and what will happen to him in the future now that he’s bearing all that weight over his shoulders. 

He’d wanted to tell him about being a monster, about coming back to life and not knowing what he really was.

He knew Khun would tell him wrong and Bam will believe in him and carry on.

“I’m so glad I can see you again, Khun.” Bam whispered in his chest and Khun was very surprised at this. Bam could listen to his accelerated heart thumping nonstop and his heart was feeling the same.

“Bam! Are you ignoring us?!” Endorsi exclaimed.

He wanted to tell her that yes, he was ignoring her, all of them! But he did not say anything and just enjoyed Khun’s warmth...

In that very moment, listening to Khun’s heartbeat, Bam promised to himself that he will build that paradise for him, for all of them… So that they could be happy forever.

Because he knew Khun will always be there for him to assure and reassure him that everything will be okay.

And it will be, because Khun was always right.