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The first time Xiao met Aether, he’d had very little interest in him. He was just another person that, despite his otherworldly problems, would give up like all the others had if Xiao continued to push him away. It was better this way; Xiao was better alone, was better pushing everyone away.
The second time that Xiao met Aether, he ended up saving his life. It was strange, really; it was strange how one act could be so small to him and yet so large for someone else. He would never forget the way that Aether looked at him or the warmth in his gaze.
Xiao found himself in Aether’s company more and more often over the next several months, unable to shake the persistent traveller. No matter how much he tried to push him away, Aether still found his way back to him.
Aether was a mystery to him; he carried a warmth that Xiao could only compare to the sun despite all the hardships he’d been through.
When Xiao was alone, he was cold, from his heart to the marrow of his bones. He knew nothing different, and he had never cared to before he met Aether.
The first time that Aether’s smile made Xiao’s heart flutter, he thought he was dying. A little bit of an overreaction, perhaps, but it was something that had never happened before, and when he’d said, ‘I think I’m going to die,’ in a way that did nothing to properly explain what he was feeling, Aether panicked.
It was strange the way that Aether had fussed over him, making him lie down and rest while he went to fetch someone who could help. Of course, when the doctor came by, he found that Xiao was just fine, which would be no surprise to anyone who could figure out what was going on.
For the first time in his long life, Xiao had felt warmth.
After that incident, Xiao had kept his distance for a while. He was unaccustomed to the way Aether made him feel, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, it scared him.
Eventually, as he always did, Aether found Xiao despite his best efforts to keep his distance from the outside world. He walked up to him with that smile that blazed like the sun, hands hidden behind his back. For once, Paimon was nowhere to be found.
At first, Xiao was suspicious. This was unusual behaviour for Aether, and while Xiao wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was still hesitant to trust.
But when Aether pulled his hands out from behind his back and presented him with a Qingxin flower, Xiao was stunned, and his heart fluttered once more. At that moment, the ice around his heart melted just a little.
Over the next several months, they met up periodically, taking care to send letters if they were to be late, or couldn’t make their meeting. It wasn’t out of necessity that the letters were exchanged, since Aether always had a knack for finding Xiao no matter how hard he tried to hide sometimes, but instead out of courtesy.
There came a time, when Xiao and Aether were set to meet at Yaoguang Shoal, that Aether neither showed up for their meeting nor sent a letter ahead stating that he would be late. It was strange behavior for him, and Xiao found himself missing his smile and the warmth in his gentle eyes. He would wait, no matter how long it took, for Aether to arrive; he had no doubt that he would eventually.
For three days, Xiao waited, pacing the shores and occasionally using his Anemo vision to blow away slimes that had decided to stray too close. It was decidedly painful waiting for Aether, and he wished that he had asked where he was going before he’d left the last time.
The sun was setting by the time Aether finally showed up, and he looked far worse than Xiao had ever seen him; left arm heavily bandaged, his head bandaged, and walking with a horrible limp. A little more of the ice around Xiao’s heart chipped away.
Xiao would later deny the worry he showed for Aether and instead claim that it had merely been mild concern, which Paimon would immediately rat him out for his feeble lie meant to hide the wedge that Aether had somehow managed to create in the ice around his heart.
As it was, the rage that Xiao felt towards whoever had hurt Aether that badly burned hotter than the sea of lava within Mare Jivari. He darted for Aether, managing to catch him before his legs gave out completely.
He felt the blood before he saw it as Aether collapsed in his arms with an apology for his lateness. It stained his cape and glider in deep red.
Never before, had Xiao felt fear like this. It was a terrifying reminder that though Aether had spent countless years visiting different worlds with his sister, he was still mortal.
For days after that, he remained vigilant at Aether’s bedside for days until he finally woke up. For an adepti that had already lived thousands of years, it was waiting for Aether to wake that felt like an eternity.
Xiao felt the subtle change in their relationship after that; Aether was precious to him, more precious than he had originally thought possible. He would kill for him. He would die for him. He would do anything that Aether asked of him, knowing that if Aether asked him to set the world ablaze, he would do it without hesitation.
It was a frightening realization, but Xiao was too far gone to stop the way the ice around his heart was chipping away with each new experience he had with Aether. He was completely, hopelessly in love with Aether.
The first time that he felt the ice around his heart begin to melt instead of just chip away, was the day they shared their first kiss.
They’d been resting under the boughs of the enormous blue-veined tree that grew below Mount Hulao, Xiao’s head resting against Aether’s shoulder in a rare display of vulnerability as he napped.
Aether had clearly been thinking he was asleep, otherwise Xiao doubted he would have been so bold, when he slowly leaned his head down and pressed his lips against Xiao’s in a gentleness that Xiao felt as if he didn’t deserve.
He was like the sun, in Xiao’s eyes; the warmth of his smile enough to bring even him a small moment of peace, and the fierceness of the sun’s merciless rays at the peak of summertime. He was beautiful and warm and brave. Like the sun, even if his light dimmed for a moment, it would always come back in full force.
Like the sun always rose, Aether always got back up.
Xiao often felt like he didn’t deserve the light that Aether shone into his life; he was a killer after all, but he was doing his best to live up to the image that Aether had of him.
It was deeply reassuring and scary at the same time when Xiao finally realized just how much Aether loved him. Until that moment, he had never imagined that anyone could love him for more than a passing moment, and yet Aether stood by him.
The way that Aether said he loved Xiao was sometimes subtle, and sometimes incredibly obvious. He brought him Qingxin flowers often, despite the danger that climbing to find one often entailed; he said he loved him in plain words; he sat up with Xiao when he felt especially haunted by the cries of those that he’d killed, intentionally or not, in his dreams; he trusted him enough to show Xiao his own weaknesses, baring each flaw to him as if baring his soul; he kissed every finger on each of his hands with a tenderness that nearly moved Xiao to tears.
He was so warm and inviting, and Xiao found himself seeking Aether’s company more than he ever had before.
Before he knew it, there was no more ice around his heart, and he felt almost as if there never had been any in the first place. It took him longer than he’d like to admit for him to realize that he was happy.
For the first time in his painfully long life, he felt as if he had finally found his place under the sun, found his place by Aether’s side.
Aether was like the sun, and Xiao could happily say that this sun was his.