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They always did this.
Kuroo lifted his head up slightly in his still half-asleep state and glanced to where his digital alarm clock rested on his nightstand. Blinking a few times to adjust his tired vision, he reads the time.
11:48 PM.
Almost midnight.
Of all times for them to do this, did it have to be now? Morning practice was at 7 AM, and Kuroo needed to rest. So why now?
Kuroo cursed to himself and grit his teeth in frustration as he grabbed two of the pillows on his bed. Pressing the pillows on each side of his head, he knew his attempt at drowning out the awful noise would be futile, yet he persisted. He had hoped that this would be a rare night of peace, but now hearing his mother and father’s shouting match in the other room he knew that such a thought was just wishful thinking.
Most of the time when such events as these happen, it’s like their son isn’t even there, rather an afterthought. In those moments all the two can think about is being louder than the other, or winning the argument (whatever that entails). Why couldn’t they take his feelings, HIS needs, into consideration every once and awhile? Would it kill them to care? These were thoughts that ran through his mind without missing a beat every time a fight would ensue.
Every now and then, Kuroo would try to get them to stop.
Try.
This night he was particularly desperate, since he needed the sleep tonight and he needed it bad. The stress of hearing his own parents call each other terrible names certainly was not helping. Some of the things they would say to each other would stick in his mind, and times he saw the two of them in a room together, it would be all he could hear his mind echo. Sometimes he would even hear them in his dreams. Even in his sleep, he wasn’t safe.
He could try to wait it out, until they tire themselves of yelling and just go to sleep already. But it just wouldn’t stop. Maybe if he tried to get them to stop, they would, even though it had rarely worked in the past. Kuroo decided to glance once more at the red numbers on his digital alarm clock.
12:01 AM.
Sitting up and letting the pillows fall back onto the bed, the teen desperately pounded his fist against the wall that separated his room and his parent’s room, making it known that he could hear them. The shouting persisted, and Kuroo’s hitting fell on deaf ears. After hitting the wall a few more times with no luck, he gave up before he ended up putting a hole in the wall. Not that he cared about the wall, but it would definitely just cause another argument.
With a loud huff, Kuroo threw on his Nekoma hoodie and some sweatpants before tying on his gym shoes. If his parents asked where he was going, he would simply just say he was going on a late-night run.
They never asked.
But in case they ever bothered, that was the excuse he had prepared. Most of the time it was true, as this was something he often did. This time however was a bit different.
After tying his shoes, Kuroo hurried down the stairs and out the door, grabbing his duffel bag with his school uniform as well as things he would need for morning practice. Slinging it over his shoulder, he began his jog through the neighborhood. Breathing heavily as he ran, Kuroo only stopped once he reached the house that had a single light on inside.
Kenma was still awake.
Of course, he was, Kuroo thought. His best friend had always been a night owl. Any time that Kuroo happened to pass by the boy’s house, there was always a colorful glow emitting from his bedroom window. Not only would he be awake, but he was always doing the same thing. Kenma’s favorite hobby wasn’t volleyball like Kuroo’s, it was video games. So much so, that he was always more than willing to trade sleep in favor of more time with his games. Kuroo never understood it, but it made Kenma happy, so he let it go sometimes. Although, he did wish Kenma would sleep more. The two were almost nothing alike. Yet, they had still somehow managed to grow so close. Sure, Kuroo was popular among his classmates and had friends. But people in his life had the tendency to let him down. Even his own parents. But not Kenma.
Kenma was always there.
Kuroo ran up to the doorstep with his bag still over his shoulder and looked for where the Kozume’s left the spare housekey. Right under the doormat. Turning the key into the lock, he slowly made his way inside and made his ascend up the stairs towards Kenma’s room. The door had already been slightly ajar, allowing some of the light coming from Kenma’s television screen to peek out into the dark hallway. Kuroo slowly approached the door, careful not to make too much noise and lightly pushed it open to allow himself through. Sure enough, there he was.
Sitting on the floor in a sea of blankets, Kenma had his gaze fixated on the screen in front of him in absolute focus, tapping away intensely at the controller resting in his hands. Kuroo smiled slightly at the sight, sighing as he took the duffel bag off from his shoulder and placed it on the bed, the sound making his presence known. Kenma didn’t even flinch, but he acknowledged him.
“Hey, Kuroo.” he said in his usual quiet tone.
“Hey.”
Kenma’s eyes hadn’t moved from the screen.
“What brings you here this late?” Not that he minded nor cared, but just out of sheer curiosity.
“Oh uh, I couldn’t sleep. So, I decided to go for a jog. Like I usually do.”
Kenma defeated the enemy that he needed to and finally turned around to look at the other. His eyes looked up at Kuroo then back at the bed he was standing next to.
“With your bag?” He raised an eyebrow.
Damn. He’d gotten caught.
“Kenma, can I sleep here tonight?”
“It’s a bit late for a sleepover, don’t you thi-”
“Please.”
Kenma was taken aback by the urgency in the other’s voice, but he just nodded. There wasn’t much light in the room save for the television, but Kenma could tell that there was something a bit off about the look on Kuroo’s face. For starters, the areas around his eyes and nose were red. Maybe from running? No, then his whole face would be red... To put it bluntly, Kuroo had the appearance of a kicked puppy.
“I just,” Kuroo paused as his breath hitched in his throat. “...Really wanted to see you.” Kuroo said, ending the sentence with one of his signature smiles.
To say the least, Kenma was a little confused. Well, he didn’t know whether to be confused or flustered.
“I don’t mind, Kuroo.” Kenma affirmed, his facial expression unchanging except for a slight pink blush dusting his cheeks. Even so, despite Kuroo’s golden smile that puts the sun to shame, Kenma could definitely tell something was up. Sadly, handling other’s problems and emotions wasn’t necessarily his strong suit, Kenma knew he absolutely sucked when it came to comforting someone in emotional distress. He just didn’t know how to handle it. How could someone so emotionally constipated such as himself even begin to help someone else in a time like this?
So, he didn’t push it. He’d be willing to listen if Kuroo told him on his own accord. But that’s about as much as he could do.
Technically, Kuroo hadn’t lied about wanting to see him. Sure, he’d been struggling with his problems at home and needed someone in a time he didn’t want to be alone but not just anyone would have sufficed. He needed Kenma.
It had to be Kenma.
Kenma didn’t even need to say anything to him when he walked in and he would have felt better already. Just his presence alone is comforting within itself. That much was all he needed.
Still a bit flustered, Kenma turned back around to face the screen once more. “W-well, I’m gonna game for a bit longer if you don’t mind...”
Kuroo nodded and chuckled a bit. “Not at all.”
It had to have been half past midnight by now. Kuroo yawned and flopped down on the unmade bed, closing his eyes. Sleep overcame him almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Kenma knew, because not long after he began snoring. Rolling his eyes, the younger huffed did his best to ignore it and focused on his game. He was practically used to it by now, but that didn’t make the noise any less obnoxious. But he couldn’t get mad at him. It was Kuroo.
And for the first time in many nights, Kuroo was able to sleep without the echoes of his parent’s shouting in his head.
Six years later.
Kenma groaned as he saw the “game over” screen blink on the screen of his Nintendo switch, sighing in defeat.
“Lose again?” He heard a voice above him snicker in amusement.
“S’not funny, Kuroo.” Kenma scowls.
The man above him moved the book in his hand off to the side so he could get a better look at Kenma’s facial expression. The two were currently in Kuroo’s University dorm room, enjoying each other’s company as they usually did. Kuroo had chapters to read for a class, so as he read sitting upright against the bed’s headboard, Kenma made himself comfortable with his head in the older male’s lap, lying down with his switch in hand. This was one of the few times where either would break the perfect silence.
“Your reactions are funny.” Kuroo snickers again.
“Are not.” Kenma scoffs.
“Are too.”
“Not.”
“Are too.”
Kenma sits himself up a bit, bringing his face up closer to his boyfriend’s. He takes the raven-haired male’s face in his hands and presses his lips against his. Kuroo smiles into it and rests his free hand on Kenma’s lower back, helping support his current position.
“...Not.” He says against his lips.
Kenma breaks the kiss, thinking he’d finally shut him up for good.
“That was cute.”
Kenma should’ve known better.
“I’ll kill you.”
“Pfft-”
Kuroo starts laughing at the other’s reaction to his snide comment. He always knew which buttons to push when it came to the younger of the two. Kenma himself couldn’t help but laugh too. Kuroo’s hyena laugh was contagious, after all. It was one of the many things he loved about him. He’d never say that out loud, though.
After returning to their initial positions, Kenma couldn’t help but get distracted from his game. He caught himself repeatedly looking up to study the other's face, his eyebrows furrowed as he did so. A peculiar memory from when the two were young teens, before they had started dating, has suddenly popped into his mind. Kuroo had randomly popped in late at night while Kenma had been awake gaming. Since that night, Kenma had never gotten that image of what Kuroo's face looked like when he asked him if he could sleep over that night. He never bothered asking what the deal was, figuring Kuroo would have told him if he really wanted to. But nothing quite bugged him like the way Kuroo looked at him that night. He had never seen Kuroo make that face before, and since that incident, he'd never seen him make it again. Sure, he'd seen Kuroo upset about things plenty of times before, like losing a volleyball match, or receiving a grade that was any less than perfect. But no amount of sadness and disappointment life brought Kuroo's way, nothing was ever like that time. Kenma could tell he had been crying, that much was obvious. He wanted to know what could have possibly happened to make him make that expression.
Well, there's no time like the present.
“Hey, Kuroo?”
“Mhm?”
Kenma paused for a moment as he tried to decide the wording of his question. Putting his game down, he sat up once more to face Kuroo properly.
“Do you remember,” he started, pausing for a moment and pursed his lips together as he formulated the sentence. “...years ago, when we were younger, and you came over to my house-”
“Which time? That happened a lot, Kenma. Too many times to count.” He teased, flashing a grin.
“Let me finish!” Kenma huffed before continuing. “It was like, midnight maybe? You brought your bag and asked to sleep over. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell you no, but the look on your face said you’d burst into tears if I did...”
Kuroo was quiet now.
“...Like you didn’t wanna go home.” Kenma’s voice trailed off as he had a realization. Was he right? Was that really the case?
“I could tell something had upset you... like you had been crying. Kuroo, why did you cry back then?”
Kuroo stared at the other for a bit while he processed what he asked. Sighing, Kuroo folded the corner of the page he was on to mark it and put the book down, then turned to face Kenma and look into his eyes. Those bright, golden, catlike eyes that burned with curiosity and worry. It was almost like the two were reliving the moment their eyes met then, too.
“What brought this about?”
Kenma shrugged. He didn’t really know why he thought of that time just now. But it’s not like it had ever left the back of his mind all of these years.
“I’m... not really sure? It’s just- ever since that happened, I couldn’t help but wonder what made you so upset.”
Kuroo looked up for a moment, briefly breaking eye contact with the other before taking a deep breath and turning his gaze back to Kenma.
“You know how my parents are divorced, right?”
“Well yeah... I remember that. When they finalized it and your mom moved away.” How could Kenma forget? Kuroo didn’t talk about it much, but it was impossible for Kenma not to know with how close they were. He was never told the explicit reason why they divorced, just that they didn’t get along and had their own issues, but he tried to be a friend to Kuroo the best he could at the time.
“Well, for good reason. Kenma, my parents hated each other.” He started with a deep breath, not breaking eye contact with the other. Kenma could tell that he had started tensing up a bet, clearly getting antsy with the sensitive topic. The amber-eyed male reached down to where Kuroo’s hands rested in his lap and took them into his own before letting the other continue.
“Sleeping at home was... well, it was pretty terrible to say the least. They fought. A lot. Even at odd hours of the night when I was trying to sleep.”
It was all starting to fall into place now, as Kenma started putting the pieces together.
“That’s why... you sleep with your pillows like that?”
Kuroo nodded. And here Kenma thought it was just a dumb sleeping habit.
“Usually when it happened, I'd either wait it out or just go for a run and they’d be done by the time I got home. That night though... I don’t know why it was particularly upsetting. I think I had just gotten so tired of it. But was I really crying?” Kuroo remembered that night well, save for the crying part. He didn’t remember crying at the time, but maybe he had without realizing? If Kenma noticed, then he must have.
Kenma nodded. “Yeah, you were.”
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to worry you then. I was just so... tired.” Kuroo let out a guilty sigh and tucked a piece of Kenma’s shoulder length dark hair with dyed ends behind his ear.
“I should be the one apologizing... you were going through so much, and I could tell that something with you wasn’t right that night and I still said nothing... you came to me and I said nothing...” Kenma looked down at their hands, furrowing his brows in frustration with himself for his own ignorance, even beginning to shed a few guilt tears.
“Kenma, that’s enough. You helped me more that night than you realize.”
Kenma looked back up to face his boyfriend once more, tilting his head in confusion.
“Huh?”
Kuroo brought one of his hands up to rest against Kenma’s face and used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear.
“Kenma, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you. Hell, I don’t know what I would have done then if you weren’t there. I’ve always felt safe around you, and I’ve never had to worry about letting my guard down with you. Yes, going through the process of my parent’s divorce was rough. But at the end of the day, no matter how much my parents would let me down, I knew I’d have you. That much was enough for me.”
“Kuroo, I...” The tears slowly turned from guilt to relief.
“I want to be someone you can rely on, too.”
As soon as Kuroo finished his sentence, Kenma placed his hands on the male’s shoulders and pulled him closer for another kiss, this one filled with much more sentiment than their playful one earlier. Kenma wrapped his arms around the other’s neck as Kuroo deepened the kiss, both of them smiling into it this time. Kuroo placed his own hands on the other’s waist before they broke apart, lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes before Kenma started talking.
“That’s a dumb thing to say. You already know I could barely be a functioning adult without you. I mean, look at me, I tuck my pants into my socks. If you hadn’t been there, right now I’d probably be some basement-dwelling hermit that pees in mountain dew bottles.”
Kuroo couldn’t help but snicker at that.
“What I’m trying to say,” Kenma continued, holding in his own laughter. “I always have relied on you, dummy. My third year at Nekoma was tough without you there, you know? I struggled a lot with having to wake myself up for morning practice. I lost a lot of motivation when I couldn’t see you every day like before. Though, since you had pushed me to keep going... that made graduating worth it, I think. And now I get to see you all the time.”
Kuroo was now grinning ear to ear with that smile of his. That stupid smile that Kenma couldn’t get enough of. Then Kuroo began laughing to himself.
“What’s so funny?”
“You like me.”
“We’ve literally been dating for three years-”
Kuroo began playfully poking at Kenma’s side.
“Haha Kyanma has a crush on me~”
Kuroo kept teasing his boyfriend has he began quickly pressing kisses across the others face. Kenma retaliated by bringing one of his hands up and pushing his palm against Kuroo’s cheek in attempt to push his face away.
“You’re pushing it!”
“And you like it.”
“Hush.”
“You’re pretty.”
“Hush.”
Kuroo laughed as he pulled Kenma into an embrace, burying his face in the others neck. Kenma sighed and hugged him back, letting a soft smile tug at the corners of his mouth.
“I love you, Kenma.”
“Sap.”
“Only for you.”
Kenma sighed happily and pulled him closer. “I love you too, Kuroo.”