Chapter Text
...at the beginning
Shelby couldn’t help the tears falling when she zipped up the last of her suitcases.
“It’s for your own good, Shelbs, you understand that right?” her father tried to soften the blow.
Shelby nodded, more out of habit and politeness than genuine understanding, and brushed away the streak of tears from her cheeks.
How could she understand sending away his daughter to a different country? How could she justify that with the excuse of love and care? And sending her to freaking Hopewell Lake of all places!
She took a deep breath and steadied herself when her younger siblings, Spencer and Melody, came charging at her, arms wrapping around her legs.
Shelby laughed through the midst of tears and the nagging feeling of nostalgia already, bending down to ruffle her brother’s hair.
“Hey Spence, will you be a good guy for mom and daddy while I am away?”
The kid nodded his head against Shelby’s hip, “Why do you have to go?” he mumbled, words muffled by the clothes on Shelby’s body.
It was strange to see Spencer acting like that. As the second child and the only boy in the Goodkind family, he always tried to act as if he was older than his age. Shelby sniffled and mustered the most encouraging smile she could at him.
“Come here both of you.” she waited for Mel to round her and left a kiss on each of their foreheads.
“We don’t want you to go, Shelby.”
Shelby bit her lower lip and forced herself not to burst into tears again, “I know guys… I don’t wanna go too. But listen, listen, I promise that I will call you every few days, and I’ll ask mom and dad to leave you the phone so it can be only the three of us. Sounds good?” she tried to reassure them, “You can tell me all about school and what you do with your friends.”
Mel gripped her sister’s hand and stared at her almost curiously, “Will you have other friends there?”
Shelby chuckled, “I hope so or it will be extremely boring and lonely.”
“But you won’t forget about us? And come home soon?” pressed Spencer.
“Of course not, Spence, I could never.” Shelby opened her arms, “Come here, give me a hug both of you.” she held them tightly against her chest, “I love you both to the moon and back.”
Her dad, standing at the doorframe, cleared his throat.
“We’re ready to go, Shelbs.”
Shelby took a sharp intake of breath and steadied herself; with one last kiss to her siblings’ cheeks, she pulled herself up and picked the backpack on the kitchen counter.
Everything screamed at her not to go, to fall on her knees her beg her father not to send her away — ‘for your own good’ be damned — she looked at her mother with one last pleading look, but JoBeth Goodkind only offered her daughter a trembling smile and watery eyes.
So Shelby braced herself, pinching the golden cross she wore as a necklace with her thumb and index finger. For a moment she felt the full weight of it, like a noose around her neck.
‘Your actions must have some consequences, Shelby.’ — her dad’s voice sounded inside her head — ‘This is for your own good.’
Good. Good. Good.
She desperately wanted to be good. To be worthy of love. To be… the Shelby everyone around her wanted her to be.
Shelby braced herself, realizing for the first time that she truly had no idea what for but it was too late to waver.
“Okay, let’s go.”