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Ahsoka looked up from her datapad as the door to her room slid open revealing Kanan, outlined by the bright lights of the command ship hallway. She nodded to him from where she was sitting on her bunk. “I thought you’d come find me.”
“You’re damn right,” Kanan snapped as he entered the dimly lit room. The door shut behind him with a crisp click. “What you did was unacceptable.”
Ahsoka set aside the datapad. “Kanan, I asked you to trust me-”
“And I did, and you set me up with no forewarning.” Kanan was furious. Yeah, things had ended up okay, so far, but all of them very nearly died because of an untrustworthy clone. “You should have told me the truth from the beginning.”
Ahsoka frowned. “I told you what you needed to know. Would you have gone if you had known Rex was a clone?”
“Of course not!” Kanan couldn’t believe she was even asking that question. “In case you forgot, clones and Jedi don’t mix.”
“Rex is a good man, Kanan. I think you saw that. You need to give him a chance.” Ahsoka’s voice was calm but her tone was quite stern.
Kanan couldn’t believe she was defending them. “I don’t need to do anything, not for you and certainly not for a clone. You were way out of line asking me to go to Seelos.”
“We needed the information Rex could provide, it was important that someone go talk to him.” Ahsoka was still calm as she explained her point.
Kanan found her pretext of calm infuriating. He gestured to her sharply. “Then why didn’t you go? Those clones are your friends after all.”
“I told you, I wanted to look into the issue of this Sith more closely.” Ahsoka seemed unruffled but there was a bit of an edge to her voice.
“Don’t lie to me. I’m a Jedi, remember? I can tell when people are lying to me. You didn’t look into the Sith and you sure as hell didn’t find any information about him.” He was sure that she'd been doing something useful for the Rebellion, he didn’t think that she was here just sitting on her hands. Still, her dishonesty rankled. “You sent me to Seelos to manipulate me into trusting clones again.” Kanan was really beginning to dislike his former Padawan colleague. “And you know what? It didn’t work.”
“Rex told me that you and they worked together admirably to evade capture by the imperials.” Ahsoka stood finally, facing him. “So it seems like you can trust clones after all.”
Kanan just couldn’t believe her. She’d always been a bit infuriating when they were young at the temple, but this was a whole nother level. “I worked with Rex and those other clones – including the one who alerted the empire to our presence on Seelos in the first place – because I wanted to live and make sure the rest of my crew did too. Last time I checked clones weren’t that interested in preserving Jedi life.”
Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest. Her expression was closed. “Don’t you think it’s time to let go of all of this fear? Your anger is clouding your judgment.”
Kanan just looked at her for a long moment. It really escaped him how anyone could have the gall to talk to him like that. “Let’s get one thing clear right now, Ahsoka.” Kanan jabbed his pointer finger into the palm of his other hand. “You are not a Jedi. You left. You left us when we needed you most. You are not a Jedi. You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t get to make decisions like you’re some master on the council. You don’t get to preach at me about how to be a Jedi and you sure as hell don’t get to tell me how I should feel about clones. You abandoned the order. I didn’t. I stayed. I stayed and I watched clones I fought beside for three years turn on my master and murder her. I buried myself in the dirt of Kaller when I was a child while clones – my friends – hunted me down and tried to kill me.” Kanan’s voice had gone from loud to quiet. He was barely keeping it together. He didn’t talk about That Day, it was still full of raw pain. He pointed his finger at her accusingly. “You don’t get to tell me how to be a Jedi because you are not a Jedi.”
Ahsoka didn’t seem to have been expecting such an outburst. Kanan hadn’t been expecting it either. He’d only meant to tell her she was out of line, that she’d acted in bad faith, that she should have been honest with him instead of trying to trick and manipulate him. Maybe she was a little bit right that he shouldn’t be holding on to so much anger.
“Kanan.” Ahsoka’s voice was much softer now. She uncrossed her arms and reached out a hand as if to touch him. “I’m sorry.”
Kanan wasn’t entirely clear about what she was apologizing for, but he could feel her sincerity. He looked away from her while he collected himself. He didn’t speak for a moment in case she cared to elaborate.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, stepping closer and putting her hand on his arm. “I should have asked you first. I see that now. And you’re right, I’m not a Jedi anymore. But I think you know that it’s not so easy to leave it all behind.”
Kanan had to agree with that. He’d tried to stop being Jedi for a long time now, it wasn’t something that you could just forget about. “I know.” His voice was calmer now. He took a deep breath and released the negative emotions swirling in him.
Ahsoka gripped his shoulder, her hand firm. “Can you give trusting me a second chance?”
Kanan sighed and nodded, meeting her gaze. “Yeah, I think so.”