Chapter Text
kaeya immediately knew something was wrong.
although the cavalry captain was always the less vigilant of the pair, he found himself quick to pick up on subtle changes when it came to the shorter, hot-headed owner of mondstadt’s beloved winery. despite their broken bond, friendship far behind them, he often had to force himself to stop his gaze from lingering on red hair cascading down the back of a black dress shirt; blue eye often full of concern. the younger always tended to work himself to the bone to make sure all of his duties are fulfilled and exceeding others’ expectations. even when he served as captain of the ordo favonius, he had long nights in his office; more often than not falling asleep at his desk and having to be carried back to the estate by kaeya. so he knew better than anyone else of his workaholic habits.
which may have been why mental alarms blared as he took in said male’s state; kaeya was lounging lazily in the corner of the angel’s share when the redhead barged in through the back door messily. his ponytail was unkempt, loose strands haphazardly spilling from the ribbon keeping it all together as he rushed to remove his fireproof gloves and heavy coat. his visible eye twinkled with confusion as he watched the other rush over to the man behind the bar, murmuring something into his ear before the latter gives him a look. diluc merely nods in reply, waving his hand as charles stares at him for a few more long moments before shaking his head with a sigh and leaving the tavern with a wave, jacket bundled in his arms. even as that happened, kaeya still found his eyes lingering on the current bartender; or rather what he could see of his face from where his bangs spilled out on his forehead, curtaining most of his features as he leaned down to fetch a bottle of alcohol from under the counter. when he straightened his posture back out as he stood, for the most fleeting of moments their eyes met, and even more worry rose in his chest as he finally got a good look at the one who he wanted to see.
he looked… a mess. his pale cheeks were flushed so pink they could challenge diona’s hair, although she would certainly hiss at the thought; his forehead shone with sweat even under the dim lighting of the few lanterns that were strapped to the wall. yet as quickly as red met blue, the bartender turned away, fiery eyes glazed over as he heard a customer shout for refills. the captain’s eye immediately narrowed and his grip on the glass of death after noon he sipped on tightened subconsciously; fingers curling around it so harshly the glass may have shattered if he squeezed it any tighter.
with a sigh, he found himself massaging his temple with his free hand. kaeya, no matter how much he tried, couldn’t stop the dread pooling in his gut, leaving him on high alert as the goosebumps littered his tan skin. how ironic for the cryo wielder to be getting chills from something that isn’t even the bitter cold. he had no time to dwell on the fact, however, as something shattered noisily against the floor; glass shards exploding on impact and dispersing into the darkness behind the bar top. standing in the center of it was an undoubtedly shaken diluc, if the way his now slightly scratched hands were trembling was any way to tell. the younger man was looking down at the floor; his large black boots staying firmly planted to the wood as if he couldn’t believe that he dropped the glass he had been drying. the white rag used for the act now also at his feet; easily slipping out of his slack grip. as a confused silence filled the once cheery tavern, a quiet mumble that sounded suspiciously like ‘master diluc?’ pierced the air and the effect it had was immediate.
suddenly, it was as if hearing his name was all it took for him to truly fall apart. it all happened quickly, much too quickly for kaeya to even comprehend. one moment, the bartender had been standing firmly, the next he was suddenly falling down, down, down; right into the shards of glass sprinkling the floorboards. he watched as his legs gave out like a puppet cut from his strings, and the sight had him immediately discarding the alcoholic beverage in his hand, footsteps echoing through the space as loud commotion filled the tavern. pushing some of the patrons out of the way- cautiously, of course, he had a reputation to uphold after all - he made his way to where diluc lay, cheeks now a bright crimson that almost melded with his hair; making it difficult to discern where his skin stopped and soft locks began. squashing the worry beginning to rise in his throat, he kneeled beside him and hesitantly reached out a palm to touch the other’s forehead. his breath hitched as he realized; diluc was burning. as in quite literally burning up; enough so for him to withdraw his hand immediately with a hiss, summoning small flakes of cryo to cool down his skin.
“archons, diluc, how’d you get in this state?” he mumbled under his breath, reaching one arm under diluc’s knees and the other beneath his back as he scooped the younger male up and firmly to his chest; the scene was almost painfully nostalgic, but he didn’t voice any of his thoughts as his main objective was simply to get him out and to safety. ignoring the voices swirling around him, he merely tightened his grip on the pyro wielder in his arms, before weaving through the crowd and slamming out the door into the silence of the night. even through his shirt and the furry beginning of his cloak on his shoulder, he felt how the other was radiating heat; enough so to make his own vision flare up in retaliation and cause a small layer of ice to begin materializing across his chest. he didn’t mind the cold, of course, and it only encouraged him to run faster, and to hold the man a little closer. diluc seemed gone to the world, with his eyes shut and head flopping loosely against the frost decorating kaeya’s torso as his body heated more and more in an attempt to burn through the fever currently boiling in his veins. cursing softly under his breath and ignoring the water dripping down his shirt from the ice rapidly melting and refreezing, he sprinted through the streets of mondstadt; moon bright overhead and stars twinkling against the smooth backdrop of the night sky. eventually, the familiar wooden front of his home came into view and he was never happier to see the stray greenery of the plants that stubbornly grew along the walls; spreading to fill some of the empty space. fumbling with the body in his arms, he reached out and twisted the doorknob before practically tearing the door off its hinges as he moves sloppily to carry the feverish man through the threshold. however, with all the motion, said male woke up from his sleep, gaze hazy. rather than the usual bonfire the piercing red eyes held, it was almost as if the flames were smothered and mere embers remained in their wake.
“kae….?” he mumbled quietly, before his eyelids fluttered shut once more and he fell into a restless slumber. relief flooded kaeya’s senses, yet so did a heart-wrenching sadness that seeped into every part of his mind. resisting the urge to drown in the memories of a past far behind him, he shook his head to clear his thoughts before gently pulling the door shut behind him; a quiet thunk resonating within the space as the wood met the frame. with a sigh and awkward shuffling of the male in his arms, his shoes tapped against the floorboards as he moved upstairs. stopping outside the door of his bedroom, he fiddles around for a few moments before eventually stepping through the entryway. at that point, diluc didn’t seem to be burning anymore, which he noted with a miniscule smile of relief. making his way over, kaeya peeled back the messy covers that sat atop his bed before laying the redhead down and draping the soft fabric back over him. making his way to the foot of the bed, he gently removes the other’s boots and set them on the floor carefully; he knew diluc would likely apprehend him if he did it any less cautiously. hearing rustling, he looked up to see bleary eyes staring directly back at him. blinking in surprise for a few moments, he’s quick to compose himself and clears his throat slightly.
“...who knew the great master diluc could succumb to a simple fever, huh?” he asks, tone light as a charismatic smirk pulls at his lips. as much as he wanted to shed all of his masks and just take the other up in his arms, like the old days his mind unhelpfully added; he knew it would be pushing the boundaries too far. which is why shock hit him like a lawachurl upon the next words to leave diluc’s lips.
“kae?”
one beat of silence.
two.
three.
“you…. you are kae, right?"
it was such a simple question, yet it left kaeya’s throat dry as his mind scrambled to look for a response.
it was… uncountable, how much time had passed since he’d ever heard diluc use such a gentle tone when addressing him. not to mention the nickname from his childhood; back when they could lay on the grass under the stars and laugh about the hours of the day as spring breezes snaked through the area and nipped at their hair and faces. back when they were kae and luc. not cavalry captain kaeya and head of dawn winery diluc.
“yeah, it’s-it’s me, luc….”
“...”
“is something wrong?”
“what are you doin’?”
“i’m setting your boots down so you can sleep peacefully. which you should be doing, because even though your whole thing is fire, your fever is running much too h-”
“i meant why aren’t you over here?”
kaeya’s tongue felt like lead in his mouth as his visible eye goes wide. as much as he hated it, he felt his charismatic masks he plastered on everyday beginning to slip away; leaving the vulnerability of his true self bare and out there.
“you don’t… you wouldn’t want me over there, luc. you must be so sick it’s messing with your mind, please go back to be-”
“i want you by my side again, kae. but... i-i can’t.”
he thought he couldn’t get any more shocked. he was very, very wrong.
“why can’t you, luc? my presence too painful for you?” his tone came out dejected, almost bitter as he looks to the floor; unsure if he could spend one more moment looking at the other’s expression.
“no, course not. it just hurts seeing how much you changed. how you left when i needed you the most. or rather how i left? and also… also…"
“i’m gonna have to cut you off right there. what do you mean by how much i changed? why wouldn’t i change?” his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, a flash of hurt crossing his face as he whips his head up to look at diluc.
“it just didn’t seem like it meant anything to you. did... did it? or was i just nothing? was
everything a lie?”
“luc-”
“i don’t get it. i grew tough because the world only ever hurt me back and yet this still happens.”
kaeya’s heart sank as he realized tears began seeping from the other’s eyes, gliding down his flushed cheeks and dripping onto the blanket pooled up in his lap. his words slurred together more often, yet it didn’t seem to stop him as he just kept speaking.
“you told me you were comforted that i finally had an assistant, but i miss my adventure partner. lumine’s nice and all but she’s so different. were you glad i had someone that wasn’t you to explore with?"
“...”
“is that it, kaeya? you were glad that i was finally gone?”
“no, diluc. why would i- archons-”
“it’s okay. i’m just a monster, aren’t i…? i almost killed you, kae. with my own hands."
“no!” he coughed, embarrassed by his slight outburst.
“no?”
“barbatos, diluc. i don’t see you like that at all. i’m still here, aren’t i? perfectly healthy and all in one piece.”
kaeya took off one of his gloves, reaching out to grab diluc’s own hand and place it over where his heart was beating soundly in his chest.
“that night was my fault. it wasn’t fair of me to pile that all on you, especially with the fresh death of your dad. so please, don’t blame yourself.”
more tears streamed down diluc’s face and a tanned hand reached out to gently wipe them
away, inwardly grimacing at how warm the other’s skin was.
“i don’t want to hurt you like i did last time.”
“diluc, listen to me. don’t worry about the past. what’s done was done, and we can’t go back and fix that. sure, maybe you almost killed me, but you didn’t.”
“...”
“we... we can talk more about this when you aren’t deluded with fever. please, rest.”
his gentle request was met with no resistance this time, diluc’s eyes simply sliding shut as he returned to a laying position. kaeya carefully tossed the blanket back over the sleeping male, before inhaling sharply as all the words exchanged finally seemed to set in. he reached down, brushing some of the other’s bangs off his forehead and placing his hand there instead. harnessing the power of his vision, it glowed a soft blue as he summoned cryo to his fingertips, hoping to cease the fever.
---
60 hours and 38 minutes.
that was how long it took for his fever to break and for him to finally wake up again fully conscious.
two and a half days of kaeya constantly freezing towels, running his fingers through the hair of a delirious diluc, hoping he wouldn’t remember the conversation they shared, falling asleep in the chair beside the bed.
which is exactly the position he was in when the sound of someone clearing their throat pulled him from his slumber.
“wha-? oh, diluc, you’re up? took your time, i see. i was starting to thi-”
“we need to talk.”
ah. there it was.
“about what?”
“don’t play dumb with me. i may have been delirious out of my mind but i remember every word that was spoken.”
“ahahaha… i can leave, if you want. i’ll stay at the headquarters until you get be-”
“stop. you heard what i told you, yes? so why are you acting like this? i don’t get it.”
kaeya’s eye widened as he took in the tone of speech he used. almost... frustrated?
“i just thought that was you blabbering-”
“well, i am clearly well enough to discern my thoughts. yet am i correct to assume that your words were simply spoken emptily to calm me?”
“what? no, they weren’t. i meant literally everything i said. i swear on my… death after noon."
“...”
kaeya smiled slightly as he heard the amused snort diluc let out, his chapped lips turning upward in the most unnoticeable of ways.
but, again, he was always quick to pick up on the subtlest changes in the other.
“so... what now? friends?”
“as you always say, don’t push your luck.”
“HEY!”
“perhaps acquaintances on a good day.”
rolling his eyes playfully, kaeya couldn’t help but feel as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
it was gonna take a long time ‘till they would ever be as close as before the incident.
yet he was willing to wait, and little did he know the other was willing to do the same.