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It was obvious that there were only two options in this situation. Tommy had genuinely believed they had managed to win this battle but now he stood facing Dream, who was adamant that Tommy was going to leave with only one thing he cares about.
But Tommy didn’t want to choose, in fact, he refused to choose. He had the discs, he had Tubbo. So, no matter how many times Dream demanded for the discs back, Tommy decided to not give in.
“Ten.”
Oh no, oh no. Suddenly Tommy was regretting his stubbornness. All it took was one number and the blonde spiralled into a state of panic. What happens if Dream reaches one? Did Tommy even want to know? He had never realised the amount of authority one single number could carry. Dream’s tone was laced with venom and full of vicious intent. But they had the discs, so they had won, right? Dream needs him alive, he has stated that on multiple occasions, so he wouldn’t kill them. Would he? No, no, he wouldn’t. No. He would kill Tubbo. He needed Tommy, but he has not once mentioned the need for Tubbo. Dream had made it blatantly clear that the only person he needs alive was the loud and arrogant disc obsessed child, so killing Tubbo was still an outcome that could happen. This terrified Tommy. He had fought so hard for the discs and his best friend has always been by his side. Finding himself at a loss on what to do, he hopelessly glanced at Dream then averted his gaze to the shorter boy. He didn’t want to lose Tubbo. He didn’t want to lose the discs. Was this really the end? Was this Dream’s plan all along? To trap Tommy in a situation where he must give up something. Surely there was a way out of this. Over the past months their journey hadn’t been easy, but Tommy thought for a split second that they had finally won, the taste of victory faint on his tongue.
They hadn’t won though, that was now obviously clear. Moving his gaze back to Dream, he shivered. He was met with the same stupid expression as always, a smile that taunted him mockingly, accompanied by two solid pupils that were void of any sort of empathy or emotion. All that looked down on him was a face that never changed, one that looked so simple yet held so much power. It was the same face that had laughed at him all those months ago, way back when this saga had started.
“Nine.”
Tommy remembers the cycle they had gone through. Destroying property, stealing items, burning houses. He remembers the importance of a netherite chest plate. If it hadn’t had been for the severity of the situation he was currently in, Tommy would’ve chuckled at his own stupidity. The chest plate was the least of his worries back then and yet he remembers begging Sapnap to give it back.
That was back when he and Sapnap worked together as an effective team. Chaos had ensued as soon as Tommy joined the server, and Sapnap had used that to his advantage. He fondly remembers beating Dream when he had attempted to step in and bring a stop to the fighting. Sure, it was that death which triggered Dream to steal the discs in the first place, but it was a feeling Tommy would never forget. The feeling of having an advantage over Dream, the creator of the smp. The feeling of power that surged through him as he hit successful blow after blow onto the masked man’s body.
It was a feeling Tommy would never forget but it was also a feeling Tommy would never feel again.
“Eight.”
Adrenaline was probably the only thing he had felt when he next fought Dream. He had towered upwards, the blocks being a dangerously far distance from the ground. Screaming at Tubbo to grab the disc as he distracted Dream, calculating his next moves and attacks. Afterwards, although the excitement of the battle had lingered in his mind, Tommy remembers the crushing wave of defeat he had felt as he glanced up at the masked man, the disc still firmly in his grip.
Tommy remembered the ambush that he and Tubbo had planned. The frantic search that unfolded as they attempted to find the prized items. Confronting Dream and eventually giving up the chest plate, Tommy remembers the pride he felt when finally having the discs back in his grasp. This was followed by a hectic chase, running like a prey from its predator whilst gathering the items needed for an ender chest to solidify their ownership of the discs. Panic and adrenaline had mixed into one as Tommy, Tubbo and Dream constantly fought, racing to the chest.
Before feeling the burning sensation of an axe piercing through his stomach, he remembers the cry of victory that escaped his lips as he shoved the discs into the ender chest. Finally, he had the discs in his possession and that wasn’t going to change. He was going to keep those discs until the day he died.
Looking back on it now, Tommy realises that he was very, very wrong.
“Seven.”
Whilst most people would assume that drugs wouldn’t trigger happy memories, for Tommy the mention of drugs caused him to remember a time which was fun. A simpler time, where it was just him, Wilbur, and their drug van. This didn’t last long but it led him and Wilbur to fight for independence from the rest if the server. And thus, L’manberg was born. And the plea for independence created a cycle of war that Tommy would have to live through for an awfully long time.
Some memories of his time in L’manberg had faded whilst others stayed, too stubborn to leave. And as much as he tried, Tommy could never forget the cold voice of Eret as he declared that “it was never meant to be!” Betrayal was what it was, plain and simple. It had wounded him, mentally and of course, physically. Curiously, he had pushed the seemingly innocent button in the centre of the room. Sounds of pistons moving and rushing footsteps caused him to look up. He will forever be haunted by the defenceless cries of his friends, the ones he fought besides, as they frantically attempted to escape the room. It was a useless attempt. They were all slain within minutes, the goal of an independent nation moving further and further away from them.
The ringing in his ears from TNT explosions was also something he would never forget (it was also something he would experience many more times). With sad eyes he watched as his nation was blown to smithereens (this was another situation which would soon become a common occurrence for Tommy). The last piece of their hope being blown up along with it. It was only meant to be one piece of TNT, but that single explosive had revealed several others which had been hidden underground. Tommy felt that they had truly been defeated. That was until Wilbur’s strong and reassuring voice spoke up, claiming that the negotiations were far from over.
“Six.”
For a split second he zoned back into reality. Dream was nearly halfway there. As he listened to the man countdown right in front of him, he realised this isn’t the first time he had experienced this.
Last time someone stood in front of him and counted down there weren’t good consequences. Friends and enemies watched tentatively from the side-lines as he took each step. Nausea was rising in his stomach, which he was not sure if it was because of the poison or because of the imminent threat of dying. Wilbur called out, announcing the start of the duel, causing the chaos to begin. He remembers how cold the water had felt. Missing his first shot, he dove into the pool of water beside him in hopes to buy himself more time. Dream had also missed, the arrow whizzing past just inches from his face. Bobbing up to breathe, he aimed once more. Whoosh. The arrow cut through the air, missing Dream another time. Panic started to rise in Tommy’s throat. Fumbling for another arrow, he fought against the current of the water. Maybe retreating into the lake wasn’t the best decision. He had almost set up another shot. Almost. But he was stopped, a sudden pain exploding through his chest. Blood and water mixed around him, clouding his vision. Tommy knew he had lost, the poison had already taken way too much off his health, this was the final blow Dream needed. Gasping for air, he watched the murky water surrounding him fade into complete darkness.
That wasn’t the end though, Tommy was too stubborn to let it slide. He recalls negotiating with Dream merely minutes after he had just been slain by the man. He remembers the emptiness in his hands as he slipped the discs into Dreams grasp. He remembers the emptiness in his heart as he gave away, arguably, the most important thing to him on the server. But then again, he will never forget the pride in Wilbur’s voice as he exclaimed about how well Tommy had done. Sure, he had lost the discs, but they had gained independence. They were free and even though on that day he had lost the discs, in the back of his mind a voice called out to Tommy, adamant that he would get his prized possessions back.
“Five.”
For what seemed like the first time in a long time, things were looking up. They were going to rule a nation. It was going to be ruled by himself and Wilbur, and it was going to be great. Then the arrival of a friend, soon to be enemy, occurred. Tommy vividly remembers Schlatts return. He had been previously banned but then was invited back again. The way it started wasn’t so bad. Until it became a problem. Tommy still remembers the day he and Wilbur were exiled from L’manberg- well, Manberg as it was then changed to. Schlatt’s voice booming as he barked out orders. A pained cry escaped Wilbur’s lips and Tommy remembers glancing over, eyes wide at the arrow that was lodged into his shoulder. Wilbur had yelled at him to run; Tommy had yelled back that he couldn’t just leave his friend behind. Tommy remembers the screaming, the chaos, all caused by just one man. They had both retreated, barely escaping the crowd that was searching for them. This was the start of a new era, a new place for them to call home.
Pogtopia. Fond memories were made there. Techno had agreed to help them, after a lot of negotiation. Tommy remembers looking at awe at the large potato farm and thinking to himself that everything was going to turn out fine. Tubbo had also offered to join them, showing no signs of supporting Schlatt. He remembers cursing at his friends whilst stuck under a stupid piston, unable to escape. He remembers laughing at Wilbur as he slipped off the stairs after he had just claimed that Techno didn't need to build any safety railings. He remembers decorating their base with whatever blocks he could get his hands on, most of the time they weren't even his. They had had a lot of laughs. Back then Tommy was hopeful, the proposal of taking back L’manberg giving him the energy he needed to go on.
But there were also memories that weren’t as jovial. This was when Tommy’s concerns started to surface, the blonde was certain that Wilbur was going insane. Rambling on about TNT, spewing nonsense about plans that promised death and destruction. Wilbur had sounded like he was going to self-destruct. Tommy had tried so hard to talk sense into to crazed man. Where had the hopeful leader he had once followed gone? Instead there was a man, delusional and full of despair, dragging Tommy into another war that he prayed would end quickly.
Maybe if he had tried harder, Wilbur wouldn’t have lost his last bit of humanity. If he had watched more carefully then maybe he would have realised that the promise of protection was just empty words with no real meaning behind them. It was all too late for ‘ifs’ though. Bright colours flashed across the stage. Screams and cries escaped the mouths of the on lookers. Tommy remembers the faint feeling of Wilbur’s fingers as they attempted to grasp onto his sleeve. The pearl had already left his hand though. The emotions he had felt that day had overwhelmed him. Terror as he watched his friends and foes die instantly. Hopelessness as Tubbo took his last breath. Anger as he confronted Techno, someone he had trusted. He was unsure if he had felt relief or if he had felt sadness when the sound of TNT exploding didn’t reach his ears. The plan had failed. This meant he could live another day, and he promised to spend those days protecting Tubbo. That day had been a day full of losing but he made sure that his best friend wasn’t going to have to lose anything ever again. Maybe there was still hope for this broken nation. Maybe he could still help the people he cared for.
Once again, Tommy realises that he was very, very wrong.
“Four.”
War was always something that had cursed this server. Tommy had dealt with his fair share of defeat but then one day it changed. He doesn’t think that he will ever forget staring down his crossbow towards the horned man. The horned man who was no longer carrying his obnoxious expression, instead his eyes were tired and dull. Tommy had finally managed to win something. He swears he would’ve shot the dictator if Wilbur had commanded him to, but he couldn’t shake off the wave of relief that overcame him when the man suddenly dropped to the floor. He would never admit it, but he praised the God’s for bestowing heart problems on the broken president, allowing that to take the man’s last life instead of his own hands.
Afterwards he was announced as the president. Well, he was going to be president. But Tommy had known he still had unfinished business. Looking back at it now, if he had accepted the position then maybe the story would've gone differently. If he had chosen to stay as president then maybe he could have prevented Tubbo from being forced into a situation where he had to choose between his best friend or his own nation. But at the time, Tommy never even considered this, too busy watching the pride that radiated from his best friends face as he stood up on the stage. (No longer boxed in and staring death in the eyes, Tommy had noted to himself). An often occurrence for Tommy was wishing he had gone about doing things in a different way because once again he looked back in regret at the choices he had made, maybe if he had kept a closer eye on Wilbur, he could’ve prevented the destruction. Deafening explosions rang throughout the land. The world crumbled around him, both metaphorically and physically. Everything he had worked so hard to get was destroyed far too quickly. His body was experiencing every emotion he could think of whilst also feeling alarmingly numb at the same time. He remembers crying out for Tubbo as he watched Quackity get flung through the air. Everything had gone so, so wrong. He hadn’t planned for this to happen. Had he not been a good friend? If he had tried harder, would he have been able to salvage something, anything?
Alas, that was just wishful thinking, as always Tommy was not the hero.
Well, that’s what he claimed that day. Screaming at Techno, who once again stared him down. He yelled about not wanting to be a hero, not wanting any of this . A wither skull was in the hybrids grasp and Tommy felt his body tremble. Far to the right of him, slumped over, was Wilbur. No, not Wilbur, he wasn’t sure when but the Wilbur he knew had lost himself a long time ago. Latching onto the lifeless body was Phil. The winged man had just killed his own son, slaughter for everyone to see. And Tommy wasn’t even given enough time to comprehend any of it. He remembers begging for peace, albeit the fact that he knew it was hopeless. Trying to persuade the piglin was useless, but he tried nevertheless. He tried up until the very end, right until the withers towered above him. Then he was forced to focus his energy on trying to fight. He slowly found himself believing that there was still a slither of a chance that this situation could be saved.
“Three.”
Looking back now, Tommy realised how naïve he was. Things were starting to look better, but that had only lasted for a brief moment.
They had salvaged what they could, even rebuilding L’manberg once again. Then Tommy remembers something, something which was just meant to have been a little bit of harmless fun. But it had turned into flames of destruction. He remembers Dream and the anger that seethed from the masked man’s body, he didn’t need to see his actual face to know that the man was annoyed. He remembers Ranboo, vouching for him. And of course, he remembers Tubbo’s words of encouragement only to be completely trampled on minutes later as he demanded Dream to escort Tommy off L’manberg.
The weeks he had spent in exile had been the absolute worst weeks of his life. All the memories of that time had seemed to meld into one. Parts of them flickered in his mind.
Holes being dug into the ground only to be filled with everything Tommy had worked hard for. Lava that called out to him, the warmth radiating from it almost looking welcoming. A grave he had put up, in memory of his Mexican friend, who Tommy argued was the only true friend that had come to visit him during his lowest points. Empty beach chairs, unanswered invitations and cake that hadn’t been touched. Flying through the sky, a trident in his hand, the rain splashing on his face the only thing he could feel. Ear-piercing explosions as the one place he was welcome at fell apart. Towering above the clouds, the world looking insignificantly small beneath his feet.
Tommy remembered the thoughts. He could’ve just jumped; he could have let it all go. Selfish as it was, he wished to see the reactions of everyone’s faces if they were to find out he was gone. Tubbo might feel remorse. Phil might wish he had visited more. Techno might feel a slight amount of guilt about the whole situation. Tommy had even found himself wishing for Dream to mourn if he did jump.
But then the realisation hit. One more shuffle forward would’ve ended everything. And that was what Dream wanted, wasn’t it? He wasn’t going to mourn for the boy. He wanted Tommy to give up because then he wouldn’t be a problem anymore, would he? Tommy recalls leaping through the air and tumbling down into the water, he had cursed at himself and his abuser. He had trusted Dream at the time, Tommy was so grateful that he had managed to snap himself out of the trance he was in.
“Two.”
As the Dream came closer to his countdown, Tommy found himself recalling Techno. He cursed his mind for doing this, he didn’t need a reminder of the harsh actions his so called ‘friend’ had done.
But then again, Tommy remembers he brought it up on himself, choosing to team with Tubbo at the last second. It had been a quick decision, but he can remember doing it almost subconsciously. This was the boy who had exiled him, who had left him to rot away, his only company being a psychopathic manipulator. And yet, without even properly thinking about it, he teamed up with him.
So maybe Techno’s anger could be considered reasonable. But Tommy still couldn’t forgive him. Throughout the months he had spent on this server, he had always chosen to fight for L’manberg. Fighting for his country, whether he had been exiled or not, because it was still his home.
Well, it was his home. L'manberg had been abolished in the blink of an eye. TNT still falling after most of the damage had already been dealt. Techno’s screaming, as the piglin dumped out his feelings. Tommy would rather die than admit it but Techno’s “I’m a person!” echoed in Tommy’s mind. The hybrids usually monotonous voice had suddenly been full of emotion, full of anger and sadness. Techno’s claims that he would’ve fought everyone for Tommy, he would’ve protected Tommy, were constantly replayed in his mind. He remembers those claims had broken his heart. Had he really made the right decision? Techno’s speech had cut into him deeper than any sword or axe could. It left an emotional wound that wouldn’t heal.
Tommy had become something he had sworn he would never be, a traitor. Betraying the one man who had taken him in, the one man who had looked after him.
But he also had chosen to side with the one person who had been with him from the very start. A part of his mind whispered to him that Techno would’ve done the exact same for Phil and he had to remind himself of all the betrayal he had also received from the anarchistic.
Tommy doesn’t think he regrets choosing Tubbo. After everything, it had always been the two of them against Dream, he wasn’t going to force his best friend to fight alone.
A choked sob pulled Tommy from his thoughts. Memories that had bombarded him now slowly fading away. His trip down memory lane was brought to an abrupt end as he realised the severity of the situation he was currently in. Dream was already down to two, he had noticed the hooded man had slowed down his pace, allowing Tommy to really consider his options. Looking back at everything that had happened, Tommy was just as conflicted as before; he could choose the discs, or he could choose Tubbo.
It was either his most prized possessions or his best friend.
Tommy refused to let Dream reach “one.”
Faint pleas could be heard from Tubbo. He was blabbering on about how Tommy should keep the discs, that the shorter boy had lived a good life and was content if it ended today. Tommy didn’t focus on that though; he was already sprinting towards the ender chest. Tubbo gasped as Tommy opened it. Chucking the discs onto the ground in front of Dream, Tommy sighed. Disbelief could be seen all over Tubbo’s face as he rushed over to stand beside Tommy. The blonde boy made sure to position himself in between Dream and his best friend. Tommy wasn’t listening to Tubbo’s confused questions, his attention was focused only on the man that stood before him.
Maybe they could flee? Tubbo was behind him, he was safe, and Dream had the discs. They could make a run for it, just barely escaping the Jaws of death. It was unlikely to work and a simple plan, but it was the only plan Tommy had.
“They were fake discs!”
Too focused on making a plan to leave, he hadn’t even realised Dream had tossed the discs onto the ground. An explosion erupted, causing the discs to blow up in flames. Dream cackled at the boys, taunting them, teasing them. He laughed about how stupid this all was, how he would never bring the actual discs with him, considering how that was a mistake he had made last time.
In horror, Tommy watched the fake discs burn. He didn’t even care that the discs were fake, he was just thinking about how dangerously close Dream had gotten. Backing away as the aforementioned stepped towards him, he gulped. They had been so close to winning. Victory had been snatched from his grasp. Where had they gone wrong? Grabbing tightly onto Tubbo’s sleeve, he watched the masked man reveal a shovel.
Terror was the only thing he could feel as he watched the shovel dig into the ground, creating a small hole. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. This is not happening. This can’t be happening. He heard Tubbo let out an audible “wha-” The older boy was confused, he didn’t know what was happening.
But Tommy knew what was happening. All hopes of victory were now gone, it had been burnt away along with the fake discs. Shutting his eyes tight, he waited in anticipation. And just like he predicted, the dreaded words escaped the hooded man’s lips,
“Drop your stuff in the hole.”