Chapter Text
“...Mr ...o..m...ura.”
“Rin…”
“Mr. Okumura”
Rin’s tired blue eyes slowly opened to meet Yukio’s furious teal ones in front of his desk.
“Mr. Okumura, if you can’t focus in class, there will be consequences.”
Rin doesn’t mean to dose off in the middle of class; he just can’t seem to focus, and on top of that, he’s always incredibly tired thanks to many vigorous training sessions with Shura.
Rin wiped the drool from his chin as he sat up from being slumped over his desk.
“Yeah yeah, I got it…” Rin said, waving his hand casually.
Yukio just continued to stare at him, and Rin felt like Yukio’s eyesight was dissecting him.
‘I already knew it but damn Yukio can be really scary,’
“We need to talk once I dismiss class,” Yukio seethed quietly so that it was barely loud enough for some of the other teens to hear.
“Ooooo, someones in trouble~” Shima teased in a playful tone as he snickered from his seat next to a very nervous-looking Konekomaru and Bon.
Yukio looked annoyed, to say the least, and Rin sighed and rested his head on his hand as Yukio strolled back up to the front of the classroom to continue teaching.
Rin knew that he would have to listen to yet another one of Yukio’s damnded lectures about how he should try to be more like his other classmates.
His classmates...
It had been about a week after the impure king incident, and Rin thought that things were going to go back to normal...not that his life was normal, but he wanted his friends to trust him again and get over the whole spawn of Satan thing.
He was wrong to hope that they would trust him again. Things just continued to worsen; he would catch Konekomaru giving him nervous glances as if he was waiting for Rin to lose control. Bon was a fucking asshole, like even more than usual; he wouldn’t even argue with Rin. He would just give him the same cautious stare that Konekomaru gave him...that everyone gave him. Bon would also occasionally give Rin looks of anger or disgust Rin couldn't really tell which it was so he just assumed both. It was honestly much better when they used to argue because at least they could resolve the problem to some extent. Sheimi would shift uncomfortably whenever Rin was near her, and he knew that she didn’t want to be rude and tell him that he made her uncomfortable, so he decided to keep his distance and sit in the very back of the classroom. Shima...well, Shima was Shima, so he mostly followed Bon and Konekomaru around, but Rin was thrilled that Shima wasn’t scared of him. He would occasionally make conversation with Rin or tease him a bit. It was nice. Shima was the only one besides polka-brows who didn’t avoid Rin like the plague.
Rin thought that he had proved himself when he took down the impure king, but his “friends” had still left him, and they were still scared of him. Plus, the Grigori was always at his throat. Everything was beginning to be too much for him.
‘...dammit, can I get a break?’
Rin sighed deeply to himself as he spaced out for the class’s remainder.
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The ringing of the bell snapped Rin back into reality. Blinking away some of his tiredness while assessing what task he had to do next was when he realized that he had to have another talk with Yukio.
Rin looked up at Yukio, who was giving some last-minute announcements to the class.
“Tomorrow, we have a group mission instead of class, so make sure to get a good night’s rest and be here at the time that cram school normally starts. Do not be late. It’s a hazardous mission, and if we are missing so much as one person, the danger level will increase dramatically.” Yukio ordered
A series of nods followed Yukio’s announcement, and he seemed satisfied with that response.
“Alright then, class dismissed.”
The scratching of chairs being scooched across the floor and the shuffle of bags being picked up filled Rins sensitive ears. Some small talk could be heard and as it started to filter out the doorway Rin hearsd some one call out to him
“See ya later, man,” Shima said with a grin as he was passed the doorway to follow Konekomaru and Bon. Shima's head suddenly poked back into the classroom.
"Hey," Shima started at Rin, who had taken his hand out from under his head and turned around to look back at him. Shima took a quick glance at Yukio,” good luck dude.”
“Thanks, man,” Rin grinned.
Rin grabbed his bag and started to pack up his things.
'I wonder what that super dangerous mission is about...why would they have a bunch of exwires go an a higher-class level instead of trained exorcists?'
A pencil rolled off of Rins desk as he got lost in thought, and without even thinking, he leaned down to get it, but as he was leaning down, he didn’t realize how close his head was to his desk and hit his chin on his it, resulting in him biting his tongue.
It hurt like hell
Rin let out a yelp and stuck out his tongue to see crimson drip onto his chair in an unsteady stream. He looked up to see Yukio casually packing his own things. Good. He didn’t seem to notice Rins new wound.
He knew that it would heal soon, but it still hurt terribly because of his fangs. He practically just gave himself a tongue piercing.
‘God, I hate these teeth...’
With the thought of his extra features in mind, he realized that his tail was quite sore from always being coiled around his torso.
‘...And this tail.’
Rin used to think that if his identity were revealed, then at least he wouldn’t have to worry about hiding his extra features.
He was wrong, of course.
Yukio repeatedly would say things like ‘try not to smile too much, Rin, your fangs make the people around you uncomfortable’ or ‘make sure to keep your tail hidden’ or ‘don’t cut your hair too short. It hides your ears when your fringe is longer.’ Rins incredibly uncomfortable with that last one since Yukio has been the only person to give him haircuts since he arrived at True Cross. While it’s a nice gesture, Yukio is very rough with the scissors (always being in a rush because of his busy schedule) leaving some cuts here and there. It’s most likely an accident, but Rin doesn’t say anything when Yukio does hurt him because it heals anyways.The length is the same as it's always been so there's not much to complain about. Right?
Where was he again?
Oh, right.
Alone in an empty classroom with a pissed off Yukio.
Great.
Well, at least his tongue felt better.
“Soooooooo…what did you want to talk about? Are you finally ready to confess your love to sheimi~” Rin offered making a duck face at Yukio.
Yukio's eye twitched in irritation as he looked up from behind his desk at the front of the classroom. Rin cackled at his own joke as Yukio placed the last file into his briefcase, clicked it shut and picked it up. The taller boy proceeded to make his way towards Rin’s desk.
Yukio stopped at Rin's desk and placed his briefcase on the desk closest to him.
“This is the seventh time this week that I’ve had to give you a lecture on the matter at hand, and you’re really asking me that?” Yukio questioned, shifting his body slightly, causing his glasses to reflect the room’s light, making it hard to see his eyes.
“...yes?”
Rin swore he heard an audible pop as Yukio burst a blood vessel.
“Ni-san, Please take this more seriously. You are on death row, and you somehow seem to forget that.” Yukio stessed.
“I know, Yukio. I just...I can't seem to focus, ya know?” Rin said as he scratched his neck while awkwardly smiling.
‘Oh my god,’ Yukio pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, ‘he’s hopeless.’
“I know that you cant take things seriously, but please...don’t let father’s death be in vain.”
“What the hell, man! You’re still going on about that?!” Rin exclaimed as he shot up from his seat.
“ Why shouldn’t I?”
Yukio knew that invoking emotion was only way to get Rin to listen to what he said.
“Why, you little-” Rin said through gritted teeth but was cut off as Yukio continued.
“Satan has always yearned to possess our father, and you were the one who made him lower his guard.” as Yukio got carried away and let his emotions take over just a bit, and his voice dripped with venom.
The tone caught Rin off guard and his breath hitched for a second.
All of Rin’s earlier playfulness had faded, and anger, sadness, and guilt replaced it. Rin's heart panged painfully in his chest.
“I-...”
“You can’t keep on avoiding the fact that our Father died, and it’s your fault. You need to grow up and deal it," Yukio seethed. " Avenge his death by living and becoming an exorcist like you said you would. Stop messing around this is not a laughing matter, Rin. ”
Rin’s anger and hurt threatened to explode in his chest, and it was just as they were about to be too much for him to bear Rin had finally registered Yukio's words and realized the truth behind them...
Yukio was right.
Yukio was always right.
He killed shiro and no-one else was to blame.
This was his own fault.
A shadow cast by his fringe hid rins eyes, and he had an unreadable expression on his face. It made Yukio feel extremely uneasy. Rin was usually very expressive and vibrant and could often be seen wearing his heart on his sleeve, so seeing Rin like this was eerie, to say the least. The air of the room had wholly shifted, and Yukio could feel it. He had said too much.
This was escalating too fast.
Rin lifted his head to look Yukio in the eyes, and Yukio felt guilt and fear creep their way into his stomach.
Rins eyes looked similar to when kurikara was unsheathed. They were blazing too bright to be human, and his pupils were red instead of black, but they were brimmed with tears that he stubbornly refused to let out, and it made his eyes shine with sadness. They looked so...tired but restless at the same time. Rin just kept eye contact with a shell-shocked Yukio for what felt like hours and startled Yukio when he started speaking.
“I understand plenty about the old man’s death, and I know that it’s my fucking fault. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry for burdening everyone since I was born” Rin whispered just loud enough for Yukio to hear while shaking his head and closing his eye
Rin wrapped his arms around himself. A pitiful attempt at self-comfort if Yukio had to guess, but this is the son of satan that he was dealing with, and without even realizing it, he positioned his right hand above his gun holster and took a couple of steps back.
This isn't what Yukio intended on happening.
“I’m sorry for getting into fights even when you told me not to. I’m sorry for never having a goddamned ounce of self-control in my body.” Rin croaked, his voice’s volume increasing.
Rin's nails had started to dig into his arms so hard that he drew blood, and he clenched his teeth in pain as the tears he had kept at bay fell from his face, and small azure flames danced across his skin.
Yukio backed up a bit more and slipped his hand into his gun holster on its own, and he gripped the gun tightly.
“I’m-I’m sorry for killing the old man...I never deserved you or him! I’m sorry for revealing my identity, but the thing I’m most sorry for, Yukio, is ruining your life!” Rin yelled as the flames that danced across his skin grew a bit wilder and his demonic features starting to show a bit more.
Yukio felt frozen.
He had never seen Rin like this before, and he was a little more than concerned. Rins eyes shown not self-hatred but self-loathing. He looked like he wanted to tear himself inside out and apart piece by piece. Yukio’s guilt had increased tenfold.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been so hard on Rin…
This wasn't out of no-where. These emotions of Rin's were pre-existing. Just how long has this been going on for? Yukio’s eyes were now brimmed with tears as he stood deathly still while staring at his big brother’s quivering form.
Rin’s tears had stopped flowing as he sighed and made what sounded like a very sad and broken imitation of his usual laugh.
Yukio was reminded of the warm one he used to make when cooking, hanging out with friends, or making jokes with Father Fujimoto...the laugh Rin just made felt so...empty. There wasn't any humor behind it at all. Then Yukio finally came to a realization... All of rins loved ones had left him, even Bon, who Rin had an obvious crush on had left him without a second thought. The only person who hadn’t left Rin yet was Yukio. However Rin couldn't find comfort in Yukio; he scolded him whenever he got the chance and was always cold. Even if Yukio only had Rins best interest in mind, he was cruel to Rin, and it became something he didn’t even realize he was doing until the damage was done. All the people who claimed to love him left as soon as they found out about his heritage.
Every.
Single.
One.
...shit.
“ I mean...I get why everyone is scared of me… just look at me,” Rin said, motioning to himself,” I’m a monster.” Rins broken voice whispered.
“Rin, you’re not a monster-”
“See...even you’re scared of me,” Rin said with a broken chuckle as he loosely motioned towards yukio with his hand.
‘What?” Yukio blinked and realized that he was now close to the teacher’s podium.
‘Wasn’t I just at Rins desk a second ago?’
Yukio then looked down at his hand and found his gun was clenched in his hand, out of the holster with the safety off, and was pointed slightly towards the ground but ready to shoot the moment that rin even so much a moved.
“Rin I-...”
‘Oh god, what have I done…’ Yukio had a bad feeling about what Rin was going to say next.
‘Please don’t say it nii-san..’
“Yukio…”
‘..please…’
“ ..you even said it yourself...you would be better off if I just died..”
“Nii-san...”
“Everyone would be, actually.”
Unbeknownst to the twins inside the classroom, six extra pairs of ears listened to the whole argument outside the door.