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Chapter Text

Verone Girls Academy 

2:43 pm 

Rina: So... does anyone know why I just saw Nagisa screaming “It wasn’t my fault” while running from demon dogs? 

Honoka: Nagisa... 

Nagisa: IN MY DEFENSE 

Nagisa: love didn’t close the gate behind her 

Hikari: Nagisa you left the gates to hell open again? 

Nagisa: HIKARI WHY DO YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS 

Hikari: I’ll get the backup 

Hikari: Who knows what you just unleashed 

Nagisa: ONCE AGAIN IN MY DEFENSE LOVE WENT WITH ME 

Rina: The gates to what? 

Nagisa: shit 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

2:58 pm 

Black: [attachment: 1 image] 

Bloom: Nagisa what the fuck 

Peach: OOOHHHH SO THAT’S WHAT FOLLOWED ME OUT! 

Black: i hate you 

Yell: Are those 

Yell: are those demons? 

Black: love i hate you so much 

Passion: What did you do? 

Passion: Love, Nagisa, what did you two do? 

Black: IN MY DEFENSE 

Black: love is the one who left the gate open 

Peach: betrayal 

Star: UMA!!!! 

White: Hikaru, those are demons. 

White: Please do not come looking for them. 

Star: DEMON UMAS THEN!!!!! 

Black: theyre learning to climb 

Black:  FUCK 

Chocolat: Language. 

Black: you try getting chased around by demon dogs and not cursing 

Grace: I- 

Grace: I am very concerned. 

Black: as you should be

Black: SHIT THEY CAN FLY NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? 

Black: aajfidosalcgndv;pnbflsehow7iavcbfulcbqnagm 

Egret: Honoka, is Nagisa dead? 

White: She’s fine. 

White: Sparking, but fine. 

White: Good news, the demons are gone now. 

Marine: don’t you only spark in civilian form when you die though? 

Luminous: We don’t talk about that Erika 

Luminous:  You should know this 

Marine: i do but nagisa just died again 

Luminous: shhh 

Black: actually erika I didnt die 

Black: Honoka and i also spark when we let off an electrical discharge 

Black: basically expect sparks whenever we use our powers 

Marine: the only person who’s name you’ll capitalize is honoka’s 

Marine: you cannot hide your bias 

Black: i mean i wasnt trying to 

Black: also hikari stop encouraging her 

Sparkle: WAIT A SECOND 

Sparkle: ARE YOU SAYING THAT NAGISA CAN ACTUALLY DIE?!?!?! 

Sparkle: I DIDNT THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE FOR THE PERMANENTS 

Luminous: well yes but actually no 

Black: hikari stop encouraging them 

Passion: I’m dead, and I have been all the time. 

Berry: we get it Setsuna 

Berry: you’re red Jesus 

Pine: I- 

Peach: buki is crying 

Peach: miki no 

Berry: i am not wrong 

Pine: I’m just 

Pine: 

Pine: There’s nothing I can say to this. 

Pine: hello darkness my old friend 

Peach: oh shit 

Peach: miki what have you done 

Felice: i am going to opt to stay silent for this one 

Magical: Mother Rapapa has joined the chat 

Felice: mom you aren’t helping 

Verone Girls Academy 

3:21 pm 

Rina: So is anyone ever going to tell me what happened? 

Nagisa: i didnt die 

Rina: That’s great, but why were demons chasing you??? 

Hikari: Because demons want to steal Nagisa’s life force and use it to take over the world 

Shiho: what the fuck did i miss??? 

Shiho: nagisa did you sell your soul to demons? 

Nagisa: no i sold my soul to the powers of light 

Nagisa: 

Nagisa: i should not have said that 

Hikari: Honoka run damage control because I know you’re lurking 

Honoka: Well, I don’t know if I can really say anything to help in this case. 

Honoka: Apologies. 

Nagisa: i love you too much to say “fuck you” but ig 

Yuriko: what 

Yuriko: the 

Yuriko: hell 

Nagisa: I AM NOT THE ONE WHO LEFT THE GATES OPEN 

Rina: What we know so far: Nagisa is being chased down by demons for her life force, she sold her soul to the “powers of light” (whatever that is), and Yukishiro and Kujo apparently knew about it. 

Yuriko: ooookkkkaaaaay 

Yuriko: i will pretend that makes sense 

Nagisa: wheres the void when i need it 

Honoka: You don’t get to jump into the void without me, so stop looking for it, Nagisa. 

Hikari: I’m going to tell Mom 

Nagisa: hikari are we not your mothers? 

Hikari: You are but I’ll tell the Queen 

Nagisa: shit 

Rina: Do you three just exist to confuse us? 

Nagisa: that is very possible yes 

Nagisa: ive learned to just not question the universe and how it does things 

Honoka: I question everything the universe does. 

Honoka: I will continue to question the universe until we eventually find the person who is actually pulling the strings. 

Honoka: And then Nagisa will probably beat them over the head with a piece of rebar. 

Nagisa: if i get a piece of rebar again im all for it 

Nagisa: when do we leave 

Shiho: nagisa when did you ever have a piece of rebar 

Nagisa: you dont need to know that 

Hikari: Wait no I’m curious too 

Nagisa: ask porun 

Hikari: Oh that’s very interesting. 

Yuriko: if this is some kind of cult you three are in, can you please not talk about it here? 

Shiho: no keep going im curious 

Nagisa: is this a cult? 

Honoka: You could call it that, yes. I wouldn’t, but you could.

Shiho: its actually a cult 

Shiho: what the fuck 

Nagisa: [attachment: 1 image] 

Nagisa: is that considered a cult? 

Rina: I- 

Rina: Nagisa what have you done? 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors: 

4:00 pm

Black: according to my normal friends we’re a cult 

Whip: what? 

Magical: good 

Miracle: Riko stop 

Felice: mom stop 

Bloom: Nagisa are the demons back? 

Black: not that i know of

Black: why 

Bloom: there’s a big black wolf staring in at me through my window 

Black: uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

Black: i have no idea 

Black: just run 

Black: take your family and run 

Flora: If this is what comes with being a permanent then I don’t think I wanna be one. 

Miracle: Honestly that’s the best choice you could have made Haruka 

Black: mirai how could you 

Miracle: I am just speaking the truth 

Black: 

Black: okay actually haruka run while you still can 

Black: that goes for you too ichika hikaru and hana 

Black: and probably nodoka too 

Bloom: so i don’t think the wolf wanted anythign to do with me 

Rosetta: anythign 

Bloom: you appear out of nowhere just to make fun of me 

Bloom: thanks Alice 

Rosetta: You’re welcome. 

Bloom: I- 

Bloom: nevermind 

Bloom: the wolf just kinda left after a bit 

Dream: GUESS WHO JUST WOKE UP TO A GIANT BLACK WOLF STARING AT HER THROUGH HER WINDOW!!!!!!! 

Dream: THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!! 

Bloom: oh shit 

Black: definitely oh shit

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

4:35 pm 

Beauty: Okay, I understand that we are dealing with a wolf that might very well be a demon, but is no one going to say anything about Nozomi only just having woken up? 

Rouge: Surprisingly no. 

Dream: I AM PANICKING

Dream: WHY IS IT JUST STARING AT ME???????????? 

Black: dont move 

Bloom: it’ll probably leave in a few minutes 

Bloom: if its the same wolf as the one that visited me 

Dream: [attachment: 1 image] 

Bloom: it is in fact the same wolf 

Bloom: it’ll probably leave in a few minutes so just stay calm 

Dream: HE’S STARING AT ME THOUGH 

Dream: HE’S JUST STARING 

Black: he? 

Dream: he said he’s a he 

Dream: wait WHY IS IT TALKING NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! 

Earth: What is going on at the moment 

Whip: the other pinks might be getting themselves killed by a demon wolf that can apparently talk 

Earth: Ah i see 

Parfait: I am going to be glad that I’m in France with Kirara. 

Twinkle: Honestly am curious about wolfie over there though 

Dream: oh he left 

Dream: BYE WOLFIE 

Black: you know he wont see that right 

Dream: 

Dream: oh 

Dream: i forgot about that 

Sunny: Yo just got here and my theory is 

Sunny: what if wolfie is just looking for Nagisa? 

Bloom: i’ll get on board 

Bloom: what’s the evidence?

Honoka: Nagisa, where are you? 

Nagisa: home... why? 

Honoka: I’ll be there in about a minute. Open the balcony door. 

Nagisa: oh shit you’re coming in through the window okay 

Bloom: akane give me evidence 

Sunny: right so 

Sunny: this guy appeared when Nagisa and Love left the gates of hell open yeah? 

Black: seems that way yeah 

Sunny: and Nagisa has this problem where demons chase after her whenever they get the chance, right? 

Black: i hate it 

Black: so much 

Sunny: yeah so what if he’s lookin for Nagisa and looked at Saki because she looks like Nagisa 

Bloom: sounds possible.  

Dream: how does that explain why he was watching me? 

Sunny: well everyone he’s visited lives near Nagisa so maybe he’s just searching around till he finds her? 

Black: if i have to fight off one more demon dog i swear 

Black: oh yay

Black: i am safe now 

Egret: You know, I was drawing for a while so I had no idea this thing with the wolf was happening. Is everyone involved okay? 

Dream: no more traumatized than usual so we good 

Bloom: yup 

Black: OH SHIT 

Bloom: Nagisa? 

Black: he just broke the window!!!!!!! 

Black: uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

White: I will provide commentary because I know there will be questions. 

White: It appears that this demon wolf is currently trying to convince Nagisa that it will not hurt her. 

White: It might be working. 

Aqua: Why in the world would anyone trust a demon wolf? 

Black: this one talks karen 

Aqua: Understandable 

Aqua: Have a nice day. 

Lemonade: Karen memed and i am dying because of it 

White: Oh. 

White: THAT is a development. 

Dream: what happened 

Dream: Honoka you cant leave us hanging like this 

White: I could, and you are fully aware of that. 

Dream: yes but i dont want to admit it 

White: Understandable; have a nice day.

Lemonade: this has been screenshotted and will forever be remembered as the day Honoka memed. 

Lemonade: my life is complete. 

White: ANYWAY 

White: Apparently Nagisa has a demon wolf as a pet now. 

Bloom: w 

Dream: excuse me what?! 

Black: his name is Blackstone and he is sweet 

Marine: someone else gets Nagisa Capitalization Rights? 

Marine: wow 

Marine: okay 

Marine: also 

Marine: YOU TAMED A DEMON?! 

Sparkle: NAGISA TAMED A DEMON????!!!!!!! 

Sparkle: AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Black: [attachment: 1 image] 

Pine: He is honestly adorable and I love him. 

Rhythm: IS THAT A FLUFFY DEMON?! 

Melody: nagisa you have a fluffy demon now! 

Melody: that’s GREAT 

Black: yes this is my fluffy demon 

Black: now i have to figure out how to hide him from my parents and brother who comes into my room at random times without knocking 

Heart: AWWW 

Heart: He’s adorable! 

Sword: Didn’t you have a demon dog for a bit Mana?

Heart: I did, yes. 

Black: Demon Dog Club! 

Heart: DEMON DOG CLUB! 

Dream: HOW DO I GET A DEMON DOG??????? I WANNA BE IN ON THIS!!!! 

Lovely: w 

Lovely: what in the world? 

Flora: Wait if i become a permanent will I have the chance to get a demon dog? 

Star: DEMON DOG UMA!!!!! 

Star: PERMANENTISM HERE I COME!

Mermaid: Haruka, do you really want a demon dog? 

Flora: Not really but it sounds like fun and I need a royal puppy. 

Mermaid: You know, that actually makes sense. 

Aqua: No, Minami, you did it wrong. 

Mermaid: What? 

Aqua: The correct response is “Understandable, have a nice day.” 

Mermaid: What? 

Mermaid: Oh, I see. It’s a meme. 

Milky: Hikaru please don’t become immortal for the sole purpose of the chance of getting a demon dog 

Star: YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM GOING TO DO LALA 

Milky: Yeah I know. I tried. 

Yell: speaking of permanentism 

Yell: when do we need to make the choice of whether we want to be permanent or not?

Fortune: Uh, if I remember correctly, a few years after you defeat your big bad. 

Mermaid: That is soon. Oh dear. 

Happy: Come on you poor unfortunate soul! Go ahead! Make your choice! 

Mermaid: Miyuki, did you just- 

Mermaid: Did you just quote The Little Mermaid at me? 

Happy: maybe 

Mermaid: ... 

Mermaid: For Karen: 

Mermaid: Understandable, have a nice day. 

Lemonade: ALL THE BLUES ARE MEMEING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA 

Aqua: Very good, Child of the Sea. Very good indeed. 

Mermaid: You know what 

Mermaid: Okay. 

Black: my dumb dumb brother just walked into my room unannounced and now Blackstone is trying to steal his soul 

Black: google: how to stop demon wolf pet from stealing annoying little brother’s soul? 

Rose: HOL UP, WHAT?! 

Rose: WHAT THE FUCK DID I MISS?!?!?!?!?

Chapter Text

Verone Girls Academy 

3:34 am 

Nagisa: [attachment: 1 image] 

Shiho: nagisa what the fuck 

Nagisa: meet my new puppo

Honoka: Nagisa, I love you and Blackstone, but please go to bed. 

Nagisa: no 

Honoka: Understandable, have a nice day.

Honoka: No, but actually, please go to bed. 

Shiho: i am no longer mad at nagisa for waking me up 

Shiho: i got to see Yukishiro meme 

Shiho: Yukishiro of all people 

Honoka: If Karen can meme, then so can I. 

Rina: Nagisa, why does your dog have red eyes? Is he sick? 

Nagisa: not sick no 

Nagisa: hes fine 

Hikari: since when is being a demon from hell considered being fine? 

Nagisa: shut up hikari 

Yuriko: why are any of you awake? 

Yuriko: it is literally 3 am. 

Nagisa: Sleep? I don’t know her. 

Hikari: just like Setsuna doesn't know death 

Nagisa: hikari shut up 

Shiho: now that i am throughly confused for today im heading back to bed 

Nagisa: good night shiho 

Nagisa: fuck do i have to explain what happened to kurumi 

Honoka: Komachi was apparently lurking, so she took care of it. 

Nagisa: thank the Queen

Yuriko: why does this keep happening? 

Fuwa Cult 

4:39 am 

Cult Leader Star: do flat earthers think that the earth moves through space like some sort of planet sized frisbee? 

Cultist Cosmo: This is my new religion. 

Cultist Cosmo: God made the frisbee-earth and then just tossed us into the abyss 

Cult Leader Star: the world ends when his dog catches it 

Cultist Selene: ONE. NORMAL. CONVERSATION. 

Cultist Selene: THAT IS ALL I’M ASKING FOR! 

Cult Leader Star: never 

Cultist Soleil: you know what 

Cultist Soleil: I’ll join that religion. 

Cultist Selene: Elena NO 

Cultist Soleil: Sorry Madoka 

Cultist Soleil: They make a good argument. 

Cultist Selene: damn it 

Cultist Milky: Everyone here knows that the earth is not flat right? 

Cultist Cosmo: It’s a joke Lala 

Cultist Milky: oh, okay 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

4:56 am 

Rose: NAGISA WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET A DEMON DOG???

Black: when he came in through the window 

Rose: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNWO IT 

Rosetta: knwo 

Rose: Alice istg 

Diamond: Alice and Komachi just lurk all day and wait for the chance to roast someone. 

Mint: I will admit to lurking, but I have yet to join Alice on her roasting. 

Mint: We shall see what the future holds. 

Rose: Rikka what have you done????? 

Diamond: Something horrible, I assure you. 

Selene: NOWHERE IS NORMAL AND I AM CRYING 

Moonlight: Very well. 

Moonlight: To save Madoka from a mental breakdown, I will add her to the exclusive chat. 

Black: holy shit madoka you gotta tell us what goes on in there 

Moonlight: She has to sign a contract of confidentiality, Nagisa. 

Black: darn 

Our Safe Space 

5:04 am 

Yuri added Madoka 

Yuri: Welcome to the only normal chat in this group. 

Madoka: Thank you 

Yukari: Oh? 

Yukari: Do I have a reason to look back at the normal chat now? 

Akira: I mean, Nagisa got a pet demon, if you want to see that. 

Yukari: Interesting. 

Yuri: We are normal until Yukari asks what happened in the other chats because she is half-lurker, half-backreader. 

Madoka: Honestly, I am more than okay with that. 

Madoka: Everywhere else is crazy. 

Yuri: I know that feeling very well, child. 

Aguri: Why is everyone awake? Isn’t it 5 am? 

Yuri: Aguri, go back to bed. 

Akira: Aguri, because you’re the youngest among us and we care, please go back to bed. 

Aguri: So the rest of you can be awake at 5 am and I can’t? 

Aguri: Unfair. 

Aguri: but I will go back to bed because AKIRA asked nicely. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

5:23 am 

Marine: did i miss yuri adding someone to that mature secret safe space for the older ones? 

Marine: I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THAT 

Sparkle: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED IT EITHER 

Ace: WHY is everyone awake at 5 am? 

Chocolat: Aguri, please. 

Ace: okay 

Muse: The fact that us younglings aren’t allowed to be awake at the same time as the teens is annoying, isn’t it, Aguri? 

Macherie: HELLO FELLOW YOUNGLINGS AND TEENS 

Muse: Youngling 3, how are you on this fine morning? 

Muse: Let us speak lots before the teens tell us to go back to sleep. 

Rhythm: Ako, please 

Ange: Emiru 

Macherie: WE HAVE BEEN FOUND, FELLOW YOUNGLINGS! 

Macherie: RETREAT! 

Fontaine: What have I woken up to? 

Lurkers 

5:30 am 

Alice: Who wants to help me roast the pinks? 

Yukari: I’m in. 

Komachi: 

Komachi: Eh, why not? They’re probably waiting for it anyway. 

Younglings 

5:31 am 

Youngling 3: FELLOW YOUNGLINGS 

Youngling 3: THIS IS A DIRE SITUATION 

Youngling 3: WE MUST MAKE OURSELVES KNOWN TO THE TEENS AS ONES WHO CAN WAKE UP AND TALK AT 5AM WITH THEM 

Youngling 1: Genius. 

Youngling 2: I’m in. How are we doing it? 

Youngling 3: EXCELLENT 

Youngling 3: FIRST WE WAKE UP AT 5 AM FOR THE NEXT WEEK AND SPAM CHATS 

Youngling 2: I refuse to spam the mature sanctuary. Just saying that now before you ask me to Emiru. 

Youngling 3: I DIDNT EXPECT YOU TO AGURI 

Youngling 3: NOW YOUNGLINGS LET UP COMMENCE OUR PLAN AND CHARGE FORWARD 

Youngling 1: YEAH! 

Youngling 2: WHOO! 

Youngling 3: TO VICTORY!!!!! 

Our Safe Space 

5:50 am 

Akira: Did anyone else just have a very sudden feeling of dread pass through them? 

Yukari: Would love to comment but Alice broke us into the pink chat and we are currently roasting them for all their typos 

Madoka: Oh my gosh. 

Yuri: You are not the only one to feel this dread, Akira. 

Yuri: @Aguri care to comment? 

Aguri: You won’t have to worry about it. 

Aguri: I promise. 

Akira: they’re planning something 

Yuri: I’ll get the bunker ready. 

Madoka: There’s a bunker? 

Madoka: I love you people. 

Pink Disasters 

5:51 am 

Lovely: how did yukari and alice even get in heer anyway? 

Rosetta: heer 

Lovely: oh god pleaes no 

Macaron: pleaes 

Lovely: stpo pls 

Mint: stpo 

Lovely: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Chapter Text

WE ARE FAMILY 

6:34 am 

Moonflower: hey guys my mom is planning a family reunion again. 

The Dark One: ooh!  

The Dark One: considering youre saying it here im assuming we can bring Honoka and mai 

Moonflower: def 

Ardea alba: Ooh, a family reunion! That’s fun! 

Zinc Oxide: Didn’t you have one recently though?  

Moonflower: yes. 

The Dark One: apparently theyre becoming more common 

Queen Jr: Am I being excluded again? 

Moonflower: I’ll ask my mom if Nagisa can bring her wife and child. 

The Dark One: wait what 

Ardea alba: Yes, Nagisa you’re a mother with a wife. 

Zinc Oxide: Didn’t you know this? 

The Dark One: i did but that wont stop me from being confused 

Moonflower: okay got an answer. 

Moonflower: my mom says Hikari can come because she is Nagisa and Honoka’s child. 

Queen Jr: Yay! 

Zinc Oxide: Excellent! 

The Dark One: yay 

The Dark One: gotta find something to do with Blackstone while we’re there though 

The Dark One: i dont want to leave him alone in the house 

Moonflower: maybe Inori could watch him? 

The Dark One: ooh good idea 

The Dark One: when is this happening 

Moonflower: my mom says sometime next week. 

The Dark One: cool cool 

Zinc Oxide: I have a project to finish up that’s due next week, but after that I’ll be set. 

The Dark One: we have a project? 

Zinc Oxide: It’s for science club. You don’t need to freak out. 

The Dark One: thank the queen 

Ardea alba: Is your uncle bringing his snake?  

Moonflower: probably. why? 

Ardea alba: YES! 

Ardea alba: Your uncle’s snake is awesome! 

Ardea alba: He’ll pose for drawings and everything. 

Moonflower: i did not know the snake did that. 

Moonflower: i wonder if my uncle knows that his snake poses for pictures. 

Zinc Oxide: I think maybe he just likes Mai.

Zinc Oxide: I have never met this snake, but I feel he just picked up on Mai’s innate bond with animals. 

Ardea alba: That should only be birds though.

Zinc Oxide: It’s just a conjecture. 

The Dark One: smart people talk 

The Dark One: saki we dont belong here right now 

Originals 

7:00 am 

Leader: nozomi 

Leader: nozomi 

Leader: nozomi get online now 

2nd in Command: you could just... @ her? 

The one we dump our work onto: ??? 

The one we dump our work onto: did something happen? 

Leader: let us reinforce the fact that we are the pink mothers 

The one we dump our work onto: youre doing this just to spite hibiki now arent you? 

Leader: possibly 

The one we dump our work onto: eh why not 

Pink Disasters

7:02 am 

Black: hey bitches 

Melody: NAGISA 

Melody: I WANT TO ADOPT A PINK CHILD 

Black: youre too young to adopt a pink child 

Melody: THE ONLY ONES OF US WHO HAVE CHILDREN ARE YOU SAKI AND NOZOMI 

Melody: i wish to adopt one 

Black: well hana and nodoka are already mine 

Dream: i have custody over hikaru 

Bloom: i gave up custody rights over Nodoka to Nagisa 

Black: all the newer ones are taken and youre too close to the others to take custody 

Melody: THEN I WILL GET CUSTODY OF THE NEW GIRL WHEN SHE ARRIVES 

Melody: i am getting my own pink child damn it 

Lovely: the lurkers are still heer 

Rosetta: heer 

Lovely: DARN IT 

Black: wait when did alice get in here 

Lovely: theyve come to roast me for my tyops 

Mint: tyops 

Heart: No offense, Megumi, but what even was that? 

Lovely: I AM LOSING MY MIND 

Lovely: MANA I AM LOSING MY MIND 

Dream: my poor children 

Dream: komachi how could you? 

Mint: I’m sorry. 

Yell: well 

Yell: i missed a lot 

Yell: Hibiki are you even mature enough to obtain custody rights? 

Melody: SINCE WHEN ARE NAGISA SAKI AND NOZOMI MATURE??????? 

Yell: I dunno Nagisa seemed really mature last time we got together to fight 

Melody: is that maybe because EVERYONE ELSE WAS A KID??? 

Yell: no 

Star: you know coming back from space and my phone exploding is not a great way to start the day 

Dream: welcome back daughter 

Star: hi mom im back 

Grace: So another argument about Pink Cure Custody Rights (TM)? 

Grace: Didn’t you have one of these when I first joined? 

Bloom: yes except it was me and Nagisa. 

Bloom: although she’s the older cousin so i gave up pretty quick. 

Peach: i am usually silent on the matter but isnt joint custody a thing? 

Peach: cant two of you have custody over a specific pink? 

Heart: I believe it is actually a thing, but from what I have read and what Rikka has told me, the Precure Color Custody Rights (TM) work differently. 

Heart: Someone can have a child of a different color if they have something in common with them (i.e. team, element, etc) and that Cure (or Cure Equal in the case of Hikari and Kurumi) can still have a parent from their own color. 

Heart: However, only one pink can have custody over another pink. So, let’s use the current situation as an example: Hibiki wants Pink Cure Custody Rights (TM) over a pink, but the majority (if not all) of us are taken by the first three (Black, Bloom, and Dream) or are from older teams than her, so are off the table. 

Heart: Therefore, the only way to get custody over an already taken pink is to battle against the current holder of the rights in a challenge of the holder’s choosing. 

Black: who gave mana our rule book 

Black: was it nozomi 

Dream: we have a rule book??? 

Bloom: Karen and Honoka got together to make the thing after we all first met. 

Bloom: how did you forget this? 

Dream: i am a dumdum 

Happy: mom youre a bullet??? 

Happy: wait no that makes sesne 

Happy: nevermind 

Macaron: sesne 

Happy: ... 

Happy: you failed to type fast enough yukari 

Heart: ANYWAY, back on topic. Hibiki, if you want to challenge Nagisa, Saki, or Nozomi for Pink Cure Custody Rights (TM), then you might be able to become a mom. 

Heart: Otherwise, I think you just have to wait until Nodoka meets the new girl when she finally shows up. 

Grace: Wait what? 

Grace: How do you know I’ll meet her? 

Miracle: Theres been this thing recently where pinks from the team that just defeated their villain meets the pink of the new team 

Miracle: Not entirely sure why but it does give us a chance to fight for Pink Cure Custody Rights (TM) when they do show up 

Black: its the universe screwing with us as per usual 

Flora: w 

Flora: What did I just click into? 

Blossom: They’re talking about Pink Cure Custody Rights (TM) again. Don’t worry about it, little sister. 

Flora: Oh okay. 

Bloom: just a quick warning: if any of you try to take my flower children I will blast you into the stratosphere and then pummel you straight to the center of the earth 

Peach: note to self: if you ever want to become a mom dont challenge Saki because she will kill you 

Bloom: :) 

Peach: why is that so threatening???????? 

Peach: mom come pick me up im scared

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

5:12 pm 

Luminous: Is four a lot? 

Cosmo: Depends on the context. 

Selene: Dollars? No. 

Selene: Murders? Yes. 

Cosmo: Thefts? 

Milky: Yes. 

Cosmo: Not for me. 

Luminous: How about mothers? 

Heart: Girlfriends? No. 

Lovely: WE GET IT MANA 

Lovely: YOURE CERY SUCCESSFUL IN LOVE 

Macaron: cery 

Lovely: damn ir 

Rosetta: ir 

Lovely: i fucking give up 

Aqua: Well, Hikari, that is somewhat complicated. 

Aqua: I would say yes, but it’s a fairly natural progression if we actually look at your situation, so at the same time, it’s not. 

Luminous: So... is it a lot or not? 

Luminous: Because you’re just confusing me Karen 

Marine: yes 

Luminous: Ah. Cool. 

Yell: at most we have two to three mothers. 

Yell: so yeah I think four is a lot. 

Yell: but I like having a yellow sister so it doesn’t really matter to me. 

Peace: am I nothing to you Hana? 

Yell: I love both my yellow sisters. 

Yell: and my green sister. 

Yell: and all of my pink sisters. 

Miracle: We love you too Hana!!! 

Moonlight: What is this heartwarming sweetness? 

Moonlight: Oh, right, Hana. 

Yell: ??? 

Yell: OH you meant it was my fault for the heartwarming sweetness.

Yell: you’re welcome! 

Black: aww my children are getting along 

Black: this is so fucking adorable 

Family of the Lightning 

5:30 pm 

Black Thunder: all of you are adorable and i love you 

Black Thunder: except hibiki shes the worst 

Doctor: What brought this on? 

Hugs: check the main chat Nodoka. 

Doctor: Ooh, I see now. 

Lumi: Nagisa, did you and Hibiki fight again? 

Black Thunder: not my fault hibiki is in a moody teenager phase 

Moosical: let me adopt a pink and then i wont be 

Lightning Rod Jr: wait that’s what this is about?!?! 

Muggleborn: They fight about it every chance they get 

Muggleborn: I think the only way Hibiki can actually win the argument though is if she manages to grab the new girl before Nagisa can 

Black Thunder: wont happen 

Black Thunder: you are all getting a new sister if shes not flower related 

Wabbit: as much as i would love a new sister 

Wabbit: imagine: being an aunt 

Black Thunder: as amazing as precure grandmas are i do not want to be one thank you very much 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Wait we’re getting more sisters??? 

Black Thunder: probably soon 

Doctor: Apparently, it’s when I meet the new pink? 

Doctor: Which, now that I think about it... 

Doctor: I did that with Hikaru, didn’t I? 

Muggleborn: Probably. 

Muggleborn: I mean me and Haruka had a really formal baton pass thing. 

Muggleborn: but that’s kinda dead now so... 

Lightning Rod Jr: we have sisters coming out of the woodworks and i am not complaining one bit. 

White Thunder: Nagisa, do you need me to come get you? It sounds like Blackstone is howling again. 

Black Thunder: yes actually please help 

Black Thunder: my mom is banging on the door asking why i am in the process of selling my soul to demons 

Black Thunder: that is not what im doing but help 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: If you need a place to hideout the rocket is open. 

Hugs: my house is also open! 

Wabbit: that is a big fat lie hana 

Wabbit: you house is full to the brim with people already 

Hugs: its fine! 

Black Thunder: thanks for the offers kids but im just going to stay with Honoka 

Lumi: Ah yes, stay with your wife instead of your kids. 

Black Thunder: yeah thats exactly what im going to do 

Moosical: she admitted it??? 

White Thunder: Nagisa admitting that I’m her wife isn’t exactly new, Hibiki. 

White Thunder: Just because she hasn’t said so on the main chat doesn’t mean she hasn’t said it elsewhere. 

Moosical: she admitted it in that biological family chat you have with Saki and Mai didnt she?? 

Black Thunder: oh yeah thats exactly what i did 

Muggleborn: Oh Nagisa just a quick note though: 

Muggleborn: By adopting me as your child you already have a grandchild in the form of Haa-chan 

Muggleborn: YOU ARE ALREADY A PRECURE GRANDMA 

Black Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

Pink Disasters 

6:00 pm 

Dream: you know what would be cool? 

Dream: Nagisa has a demon wolf so what if Honoka got an angel wolf? 

Dream: then they can just... i dunno go into battle with supernatural wolves  

Black: i refuse to comment on this 

Heart: You know what would be even cooler? If we all somehow got demon dogs and brought them into battle with us. 

Black: oh queen save us all 

Black: mana that is a horrible idea 

Star: IF I GET A DEMON DOG I AM BECOMING A PERMANENT AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME 

Star: i might end up becoming a permanent anyway but still 

Star: I WANT A DEMON DOG WITH IT 

Dream: honesty same 

Peach: i don’t think having a demon as a pet is as great as it sounds? 

Peach: Nagisa care to comment? 

Black: if you can somehow hide your demon pet from your family and stop him from howling every five seconds or your family doesnt care if weird demonic sounds come from your room then getting a demon pet is great 

Black: if youre like me and have a small room with parents that do care if it sounds like their daughter is making a deal with a demon then dont because it is a horrible idea 

Flora: I live in a dorm? 

Flora: It technically doesn’t allow animals? 

Flora: But I could probably figure it out?? 

Melody: for once im on Nagisa’s side 

Melody: even though my house is pretty big and my parents are usually out i dont think having a pet demon would end well at all 

Melody: and if it wouldnt end well here in my house then it sure as hell wont end well in Nozomi’s room or Haruka’s dorm 

Bloom: i am siding with my cousin and her kid on this one (sorry Haruka): having a demon pet would probably be a terrible idea. 

Bloom: the only reason it’s working for Nagisa is because she has Honoka to constantly bail her out. 

Blossom: I popped in to see why my phone was going off so much, and I think I missed the context here.  

Blossom: Why is everyone discussing demon pets? 

Black: for some reason this demon wolf decided to be my pet or something so now everyone else wants a demon pet 

Blossom: Ah, okay. 

Blossom: I can probably make an entire list about why demon pets is a bad idea, but I don’t think I need to. 

Dream: none of you are any fun 

Bloom: we know 

Blossom: we know

Chapter Text

Mancers 

3:00 am 

Electromancer Dark: @Miracumancer @Mahoumancer @Luxmancer 

Electromancer Dark: it is time 

Luxmancer: Great. 

Miracumancer: Can I just check something real quick? 

Electromancer Dark: yes but quickly 

Electromancer Dark: the guardian said we have to do this before sunrise if we want it to work 

Miracumancer: It shouldn’t take long 

Miracumancer: We’ll be there 

Hogwarts 

3:03 am 

Gryffindor: @Dumbledore is necromancy illegal? 

Hufflepuff: MOM WHAT????? 

Ravenclaw: Don’t worry about it, Haa-chan. 

Dumbledore: 

Dumbledore: Why? 

Gryffindor: I just need to know 

Gryffindor: Is necromancy illegal? 

Dumbledore: It is if you use dark magic. 

Ravenclaw: We’re good then. 

Ravenclaw: Let’s go, Mirai! 

Ravenclaw: QUICKLY! BEFORE SUNRISE! 

Gryffindor: THANKS KOUCHOU!!! 

Hufflepuff: moms please what are you doing??? 

Mancers 

3:06 am 

Miracumancer: We are on our way 

Mahoumancer: We thoroughly confused Haa-chan and Kouchou, but that’s fine. 

Electromancer Light: Let’s get this done before something actually bad happens, yeah? 

Mahoumancer: Yup. We’re coming. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

3:07 am 

Felice: is anyone awake because I am concerned 

Ace: About? 

Chocolat: Aguri, please go to bed. 

Ace: no 

Chocolat: I will make you custom sweets if you go to bed. 

Ace: Tempting. 

Ace: Very tempting. 

Macherie: DO NOT FALTER YOUNGLING 2!!! 

Ace: But custom sweets. 

Muse: ... 

Muse: I won’t blame you if you go to bed just for that, Aguri. 

Muse: Honestly. 

Felice: because it seems that people are in fact awake I’m saying what I’m concerned about 

Felice: [attachment: 1 image] 

Diamond: You know, I probably should have kept a closer eye on Mana. 

Diamond: She’s gone too. 

Luminous: Nagisa and Honoka are missing too. 

Luminous: So are the wolves. 

Luminous: autocorrect, meant wolf not wolves 

Rosetta: For once, I will appear without needing to roast anyone to inform you all that they are on the roof of the highest building in Wakaba. 

Peach: thats rare 

Lovely: whoa alice appears without tyops summoning her 

Macaron: tyops 

Lovely: DAMN IT 

Star: IMAGINE IF THEY’RE SUMMONING DEMONS 

Macherie: DEMONS YES 

Rosetta: [attachment: 1 image] 

Rosetta: I can’t upload the video feed, but it seems they’re doing something with chalk and candles. 

Mint: That looks like a necromancy circle. 

Dream: Komachi...

Dream:  why do you know that???? 

 Mint: Totally not because I was trying to do it myself. 

Mint: Nope. Not that. 

Mint: No, but actually, it’s because I looked it up for a story. 

Dream: oh okay! 

Rose: You’re going to believe her just like that??????? 

Dream: YUP! 

Rose: 

Rose: Flora save us all 

Flora: ????????????? 

Rose: I didn’t mean you 

Flora: Oh, okay. 

Flora: I’ll just head back to bed then. 

Chocolat: Speaking of going back to bed... 

Chocolat: Aguri. 

Ace: this is regina aguri went back to sleep muttering about custom sweets 

Ace: you better deliver because she will kill someone if she doesnt get the custom sweets you promised akira 

Chocolat: I’ll make them as soon as this whole situation is dealt with. 

Diamond: Wait, Regina, do you know what Mana is doing? 

Ace: uh yeah but i swore secrecy so i cant say sorry 

Diamond: damn it 

Diamond: We finally got a lead too. 

Muse: I can summon the magic rainbow keyboard if you want? 

Muse: We can travel over there and find out what’s going on. 

Felice: yes please 

Bloom: is my cousin involved in demonic rituals again? 

Diamond: Along with her girlfriend, my girlfriend, and our resident Hogwarts couple, yes. 

Ace: still regina here but rikka shes our girlfriend 

Diamond: Yes, that. 

Diamond: That’s what I meant. 

Bloom: i want to correct something in that but at the same time i’ll leave it be until Nagisa gets back from her thing. 

Sword: Crazy thought here but: what if Mana wants to bring Marshmallow back to life? 

Diamond: oh no 

Macherie: OH YES 

Ace: do you even know who marshmallow is? 

Macherie: no... 

Macherie: WHO IS THIS MARSHMALLOW 

Sword: Mana’s demon dog. 

Amour: Based on the conversation sent above, it appears that they are not utilizing dark magic. 

Peach: holy light cures cant even use dark magic though? 

Happy: OH YEAH WE CAN’T 

Happy: thats a cool fact that i completely forgot 

Peach: yeah anyway Mana’s there so they cant be using dark magic anyway 

Diamond: I would say “good to know”, but also I am absolutely terrified of what they are actually doing. 

Rosetta: ooh 

Rosetta: That just happened. 

Felice: I’m scared to ask but what? 

Diamond: Alice, what did they do? 

Luminous: There’s howling again. 

Luminous: Not Blackstone though, which is odd. 

Diamond: Alice, answer us. 

Felice: Alice? 

Heart: [attachment: 1 image] 

Heart: GUESS WHO WE JUST BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!! 

Black: my head hurts 

Black: why the fuck does my head hurt 

Diamond: ... 

Diamond: They actually- 

Diamond: Where is the closest high window? 

Heart: RIKKA NO!!! 

Black: bro my head feels like its going to explode 

Black: what the hell 

Magical: I’d warrant the guess that it’s because you were channeling the prism stone’s powers directly instead of what you normally do whenever you use it. 

Black: 

Black: unless one of you die im never doing this again 

Miracle: Fair 

Miracle: Should probably get back to Kouchou though so he stops freaking out about us performing necromancy 

Felice: YOU CAN’T JUST SAY “Is necromancy illegal” AND THEN NOT EXPLAIN MOM!!! 

Miracle: We can but we shouldn’t 

Dream: SOMEONE GET ME A DEMON DOG 

Dream: I WANT IN ON THE CLUB 

Passion: How did you even get Marshmallow’s soul back? 

Passion: He’s been dead for a while, right? 

White: I’m not answering that. 

Black: i am also not answering that 

Miracle: I would answer that but then mom would kill me 

Bloom: Nagisa if i died would you perform necromancy to bring me back? 

Black: bitch you cant die so i dont know what youre trying to prove here 

Bloom: you’re not wrong but also would you if I could die? 

Black: yes because youre my cousin and i love you but you better not find a way to die because i will personally kill you once you come back if you do 

Bloom: noted. 

Dream: okay then 

Dream: to all permanents: Nagisa will bring us back to life but then shell kill us again because we managed to die 

Dream: so just dont die 

Dream: ever 

Peach: mom come pick me up im scared again 

Chapter Text

Private Chat - Nagisa, Inori 

6:04 am 

Nagisa: inori can you do me a favor 

Inori: Sure. What do you need, Nagisa? 

Nagisa: great i need you to watch Blackstone for me 

Nagisa: i dont want to leave him alone in the house next week 

Inori: Sure. I should be able to manage taking care of your demon wolf for a bit. 

Inori: One question though: why? 

Nagisa! family reunion thing sakis mom is planning 

Nagisa: i dont want to bring Blackstone in case he tries to steal someones soul 

Inori: Understandable. Just bring him over when you’re leaving. 

Nagisa: will do thanks! 

Mancers 

6:10 am 

Miracumancer: No one is going to talk about the elephant in the room huh 

Luxmancer: Did Alice finally get that elephant she was talking about? 

Miracumancer: What? No? 

Miracumancer: I was talking about Whitehouse 

Miracumancer: and how Honoka managed to hide her existence from everyone else. 

Luxmancer: Oh 

Luxmancer: Yeah, we’re not going to talk about that. 

Mahoumancer: This is just the start, isn’t it? 

Mahoumancer: Now that 3 Precure have supernatural canines, more are bound to come, right? 

Electromancer Dark: this is how it starts 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

4:12 am 

Macherie: I CAN ALSO STAY AWAKE 

Macherie: NO ONE CAN CHASE ME TO BED 

Macherie: I WILL CONTINUE OUR YOUNGLING CAUSE EVEN WHEN ARUGI WAS BRIBED WITH SWEETS 

Muse: I’m still here, Emiru. 

Muse: You’re not the only Youngling still rebelling against their teens. 

Rhythm: Ako I am literally begging you to go back to sleep 

Muse: I’m rebelling, Kanade. 

Muse: So no. 

Rhythm: ... do I need to threaten you? 

Muse: What? 

Rhythm: S 

Rhythm: O 

Rhythm: U 

Rhythm: T 

Muse: STOP 

Muse: DONT DO IT 

Rhythm: then sleep  

Muse: fine  

Macherie: MY FELLOW YOUNGLINGS ARE FALLING ALL AROUND ME 

Macherie: I MUST CONTINUE OUR CAUSE FOR MY FALLEN COMRADES 

Macherie: WAIT RURU DONT TRHUQCV.WBANHKA 

Yell: ...is Emiru dead? 

Amour: No, but she is now wrapped up in blankets like a burrito to make sure she sleeps. 

Chocolat: Ruru, you’re a genius. 

Custard: Am I in danger? 

Custard: I am small enough to get wrapped up in blankets 

Custard: am I in danger???? 

Marine: himari if youre in danger then i am too 

Marine: ...

Marine: i forgot that yuri was staying over tonight 

Marine: shit 

Marine: k/mfhAEL:jnqricxmlcsqgjbklnwqm

Yell: everyone is dying. 

Black: i cant fall back asleep 

Black: my head feels like its going to explode 

Black: none of the advil is helping either 

Black: the only good thing about this is that Blackstone is curled up at my feet being cute 

White: That is what dogs do, yes. 

White: Chuutaro is currently doing the same. 

Heart: Same. Marshmallow is curled up at my feet. 

Macherie: YOUR BLANKET BURRITO CANNOT STOP ME RURU 

Macherie: I HAVE RETURNED 

Fontaine: Oh my light. 

Verone Girls Academy 

5:24 am 

Nagisa: yo whos awake right now 

Nagisa: because i had to wake up early and wanna talk with someone normal 

Yuriko: Nagisa what the hell 

Yuriko: no one should be awake this early 

Hikari: And yet we are 

Honoka: There is no escaping waking up early. 

Nagisa: also my head still hurts so i probably shouldnt even be looking at this screen but ya know 

Shiho: ffwoicrqk;nvelhpf q wn.yea,Caen;f 

Nagisa: shiho you good? 

Rina: njaekq;wfhljopvwjcfewirfkuhwge 

Nagisa: im going to take that as a no for both of you 

Nagisa: Honoka i think we need to perform a rescue 

Honoka: Hikari, stay here. If we don’t come back in a week, then there’s a problem and we need to be tracked down. 

Hikari: Okay 

Yuriko: what the fuck is even going on in here anymore? 

Originals 

6:00 am 

Leader: @2nd in Command youre in charge 

Leader: im going somewhere with Honoka so im leaving you in charge 

2nd in Command: WAIT WHAT??!?! 

2nd in Command: NAGISA I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LEAD A TEAM OF CHAOTIC MAGICAL GIRLS!!! 

2nd in Command: NAGISA!!! 

Leader: calm down 

2nd in Command: how do i lead???? 

Leader: 1st take a deep breath 

Leader: 2nd look at nozomis name 

Leader: 3rd do that 

The one we dump our work onto: wait what? 

2nd in Command: wait... THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT??? 

2nd in Command: i thought that nickname was a joke 

Leader: i dont joke saki 

Leader: anyway i have to go 

Leader: if Honoka and i arent back in a week you have permission to search 

The one we dump our work onto: WAIT NAGISA YOURE LEAVING??? 

Leader: yup now i gotta go 

Leader: see ya! 

The one we dump our work onto: WAIT NAGISA HOLD UP 

The one we dump our work onto: and shes gone 

2nd in Command: well if you’ll excuse me i am going to go panic for about an hour 

The one we dump our work onto: okay! 

The one we dump our work onto: if you need any help just tell me! 

The one we dump our work onto: i’ll be there in a few minutes at most! 

2nd in Command: you make it way too easy to dump leading onto you, you know that? 

The one we dump our work onto: YUP! 

Chapter Text

The Only Reason The Partner Cures Are Still Alive

6:09 am 

The Irregular: Has anyone seen Honoka recently? 

Ovens and Pianos: Weren’t you and Mirai with her earlier? 

Ardea alba: Well, I can say for certain that Nagisa went off somewhere and left Saki in charge because she’s currently panicking in the corner, so we can assume that Honoka is leaving too. 

Ardea alba: It’s the only reasonable assessment, considering… you know. 

Ovens and Pianos: Oh yeah, that thing. 

Zinc Oxide: You would be correct, Mai.

Zinc Oxide: And speaking of leaving someone in charge, would you be willing to take on leading my group of the All Stars for me? 

Ardea alba: Yeah, sure. I should be able to manage that. 

Ardea alba: How long are you planning on being gone? 

Zinc Oxide: Not sure, but it shouldn’t be more than a week. If it is, you all have permission to come look for us. 

Ardea alba: Understood. I’ll take care of things while you’re gone. 

Zinc Oxide: Thank you! 

The Irregular: Do you know what you just signed up for, Mai? 

Ardea alba: You ask, as though Honoka hasn’t been training me for a moment like this for ages. 

Ovens and Pianos: Wait Honoka trained you? 

Ovens and Pianos: That’s news. 

The Irregular: Dang. How tough was the training anyway, Mai? 

The Irregular: Because it seems like it would be extremely challenging, what with how chaotic about half of the girls are. 

Ardea alba: It wasn’t actually that bad. I had to listen to some lectures, but at least I got better advice and training than Saki. 

Ovens and Pianos: I’m almost scared to ask but what did Nagisa give Saki for advice? 

Ardea alba: I just know it wasn’t great. Give me one second to ask for specifics. 

Ardea alba: gerqnlw; 

Ovens and Pianos: Are you okay, Mai? 

Ardea alba: SHE LITERALLY TOLD HER TO DUMP IT ON NOZOMI 

Ardea alba: I’M CRYING  

The Irregular: oh my light 

The Irregular: I hate how that sounds normal for them. 

Ovens and Pianos: Well, it kind of is? 

Ovens and Pianos: I remember Hibiki telling me that Nozomi is typically the one to make the inspirational speeches. 

Ardea alba: Nagisa is honestly a pessimist and Saki isn’t exactly made for leading, though, so it makes sense. 

Ovens and Pianos: just waiting for Honoka to pop in and either agree but defend her girlfriend or disagree and defend her girlfriend 

Ovens and Pianos: it seems that will not be happening 

The Irregular: ...Honoka not being here to talk with us is weird. 

The Irregular: I know it hasn’t even been that long since she said she was leaving, but dang. 

The Irregular: It feels kind of weird to talk in here when she’s not here. 

The Irregular: She was the first of the Partner Cures, after all. 

Ardea alba: ...It does, doesn’t it. 

Ardea alba: Want to put this chat on hold until Honoka gets back unless something happens? 

Ovens and Pianos: I’m cool with that. 

The Irregular: Just until Honoka comes back. 

Ardea alba: Just until Honoka comes back, then we’ll use it again. 

The Irregular: Is she going to yell at us for doing this? 

Ardea alba: Definitely. 

Ovens and Pianos: But we‘re doing it anyway. 

Leaders 

8:00 am 

2nd in Command: i have been in charge for 2 hours and i am still panicking. 

2nd in Command: if the world ends and we can’t recreate it it’ll be my fault. 

The one we dump our work onto: and here i thought this chat would be quiet without nagisa around to start stuff 

The one we dump our work onto: saki you’ll be fine 

The one we dump our work onto: something tells me honoka put mai in charge of her part so you have your partner to back you up 

The one we dump our work onto: and remember: im here if you need help 

2nd in Command: and this is why you’re in charge of motivational speaking 

The one we dump our work onto: :) 

2nd in Command: :)

Pink Disasters 

10:00 am 

Lovely: guyssssss 

Lovely: are the lurkers still here to roast me for my tyops? 

Macaron: tyops  

Rosetta: Tyops 

Mint: TYOPS 

Lovely: DAMN IT 

Grace: ... 

Grace: I was going to say something, but maybe I just... shouldn’t. 

Star: WHAT HAPPENED NODOKA?!?!?! 

Star: DID YOU GET A DEMON DOG TOO??? 

Grace: ...

Grace: No, I did not. 

Happy: just say what you were going to say and ignore Megumi! 

Lovely: Hey! 

Yell: guys let Nodoka speak. 

Heart: *gays 

Yell: ... 

Yell: gays let Nodoka speak. 

Flora: She actually did it. 

Flora: Mana what kind of power do you have over us? 

Heart: The power of the poly-gay.

Blossom: This is the moment that we remember that Mana has some of the biggest lesbian energy among us, and we have no choice but to listen to her. 

Heart: Of course! 

Heart: Although, I think Nagisa has plenty of lesbian energy too! She’s just too into Honoka to see that half the female population of her school is not-so-secretly in love with her. 

Grace: ... 

Grace: If I don’t just say it, I’ll probably never be able to so: 

Grace: Two things: 

Grace: 1. I’m becoming a permanent. Someone needs to instruct me on how to do the ritual. 

Grace: and 2. I did meet the new girl. She’s really sweet. 

Grace:   [attachment: 1 image] 

Bloom: she’s not flower-related. 

Bloom: Nozomi you want to claim this one? 

Dream:   shes irregular 

Dream: i cant claim an irregular 

Bloom: ... 

Bloom: by any chance can we hold off on fighting over rights for a bit? 

Grace: ? 

Yell: why? 

Heart: Is Nagisa busy? 

Bloom: she said she’ll be gone for a bit yeah. 

Miracle: Honoka is with her right??? 

Bloom: yeah 

Miracle: Thank goodness 

Bloom: oh. 

Bloom: oh shit i forgot about that thing. 

Bloom: THANK LIGHT HONOKA WENT WITH HER 

Melody: oh shit yeah that 

Flora: I feel like I’m missing something here. 

Blossom: We all are, little sister. 

Melody: also what do you mean by “nagisa will be gone for a while”???? 

Bloom: Nagisa and Honoka went somewhere. i don’t know where just that they left. 

Melody: okay… 

Melody: so can we argue over custody rights anyway or...? 

Peach: holy- 

Peach: Hibiki did you and Kanade have a kid? 

Melody: what? 

Peach: the new girl looks like you and Kanade had a kid 

Bloom: ... 

Bloom: you know she kinda does. 

Dream: OH MY GOSH SHE DOES!!! 

Melody: does that mean i can claim Pink Cure Custody Rights™? 

Bloom: Nagisa is going to kill me for this but yes. 

Melody: HELL YEAH!!! 

Grace: Just wanted to announce that the new girl was reading this whole conversation over my shoulder, so take this time to reflect on your first impressions. 

Lovely: ... 

Whip: HOLY GUACAMOLE IM ACTUALLY AN AUNT!!! 

Flora: Guacamole? 

Whip: dont judge me haruka 

Chapter Text

Family of the Lightning 

11:30 am 

Summer was added to the chat 

Doctor: Welcome to your new family, Manatsu! 

Moosical: my daughter is here! YAY! 

Summer: Hi new mom! 

Moosical: oh my light i love her 

Summer: :) 

Doctor: Feel free to change your name to whatever you want, Manatsu. 

Lumi: :o

Lumi: This one’s Hibiki’s? 

Summer: Yes! Nice to meet you all! I’m Manatsu Natsumi (Cure Summer)! 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Nodoka taught you how to do a general introduction already? 

Summer: Yes! She’s been really helpful! 

Hugs: As expected of one of the few pinks with a brain cell!

Moosical: RIGHT SO 

Moosical: my daughter, let me introduce you to your family. 

Summer: OKAY! 

Moosical: @Lumi is your aunt Hikari (Shiny Luminous). She was your grandmas’ first daughter 

Moosical: i’m Hibiki (Cure Melody). your pink mom and the second kid. 

Moosical: @Lightning Rod Jr is your aunt Yayoi (Cure Peace) 

Moosical: @Muggleborn is your aunt Mirai (Cure Miracle) 

Moosical: @Wabbit is your aunt Ichika (Cure Whip) 

Moosical: @Hugs is your aunt Hana (Cure Yell) 

Moosical: @Lightning Rod Jr Jr is your aunt Lala (Cure Milky) 

Moosical: and you already know Nodoka 

Muggleborn: Dark Mom and Light Mom are out somewhere right now but when they come back you’ll meet them 

Summer: Dark Mom and Light Mom? 

Moosical: @Black Thunder and @White Thunder. 

Summer: I see! Thank you! 

Lightning Rod Jr: IN THE MEANTIME 

Lightning Rod Jr: We can help you come up with a nickname 

Summer: ooh!! 

Summer: Yes please! 

Lightning Rod Jr: LET US COMMENCE NICKNAMING 

Summer: Ooh! Sounds exciting! 

Lightning Rod Jr: you bet it is! 

Summer’s name was changed to TROPICALIZE 

TROPICALIZE: ??? 

TROPICALIZE: I don’t hate it but what just happened? 

Muggleborn: It’s called Hana probably asked her android teammate about your search history and nicknamed you based on that 

Hugs: Oh you found me out shoot. 

TOPICALIZE: I don’t hate this name. 

TOPICALIZE: I actually kind of love it. 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: So we’re just ignoring that Hana and Ruru hacked Manatsu’s search history? 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: …wait, no, that makes sense 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: We always ignore when the pinks do something dumb 

Doctor: Lala, let’s be real here. The others ignoring us when we do something dumb is the only reason we pinks are the leaders. 

Muggleborn: You can’t really say that though Nodoka 

Muggleborn: you’re a smart pink like Tsubomi, Mana, and I 

Moosical: mirai youre a smart ditz 

Muggleborn: Thanks! 

Moosical: since when is that a compliment? 

TROPICALIZE: Sounds like a compliment to me! 

Wabbit: I WAS CALLED??? 

Wabbit: OH MY NIECE WAS ADDED!!! 

TROPICALIZE: Hi Aunty Wabbit! 

Wabbit: my heart- 

Wabbit: hibiki you got a wholesome one- 

Moosical: i love my new pink child 

Lumi: Honestly Aunty Wabbit is an adorable name. 

TROPICALIZE: Aunty Lumi? Can I call you Aunty Lumi? 

Lumi: HIBIKI HOW DID YOU GET A CHILD THIS WHOLESOME????? 

Moosical: I HAVE NO IDEA BUT I LOVE HER!!!! 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: I’m going to break up the fawning-over-Hibiki’s-child fest for a sec 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Hikari I’m assuming you know where Nagisa and Honoka went? 

Lumi: I know what they’re doing 

Lumi: No idea where they actually went though 

TROPICALIZE: Nagisa and Honoka? 

Moosical: the one time i actually need nagisa around and shes not here 

Muggleborn: Nagisa and Honoka are your grandmas! 

Muggleborn: They’re also the original Precure Partner Cures! 

TROPICALIZE: so they’re together romantically? 

Lightning Rod Jr: the kid learns quick. 

Moosical: im so proud 

Moosical: she already understands 

TROPICALIZE: Is that a requirement or something? 

Lumi: Technically no but it’s really really really difficult to find a Cure that isn’t a least a little into girls 

Lumi: Well, there’s Ako but I think she might the only one at the moment 

Lightning Rod Jr: finding out you’re into girls is like a right of passage for us Precure 

TROPICALIZE: Ah, I see. Makes sense to me! 

TROPICALIZE: From the pictures Nodoka’s shown me, everyone’s really pretty so I can see why! 

Muggleborn: She’s already well on her way to becoming one of us 

Muggleborn: excellent 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

1:47 pm 

Heart: Code Magenta 

Bloom: FUCK 

Bloom: SHIT 

Bloom: DONT DO THIS TO ME UNIVERSE 

Grace: What is a “Code Magenta”? 

Magical: Basically there’s another world-ender approaching Earth and we have to deal with it. 

Magical: The usual. 

Grace: Oh. 

Heart: Code Magenta, slowly inching towards Code Red. 

Lovely: Wait Red? 

Fortune: Code Red doesn’t mean- 

Fortune: You know what, nevermind. 

Bloom: ITS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT 

Bloom: ENTERING PANIC MODE 

Dream: saki do you… do you want me to take over? 

Bloom: please 

Dream: okay! 

Dream: @Felice, you take front guard with @Luminous and @Sunshine. 

Dream: @Bloom, you’re currently our strongest physically, so you’ll be lead raider. I know it’s typically Nagisa’s role and that’s part of why you’re panicking, but I’ll take care of the rest of the planning with Mai’s help, so just focus on that, okay? 

Bloom: I can do that. 

Bloom: I can DEFINITELY do that! 

Egret: @Miracle and @Magical, can you two take support roles today? Topaz form, if that’s possible. 

Miracle: Of course! 

Egret: Excellent. 

Egret: @Sunny, @Rose, and @Ace, you three are some of the more physically strong girls still here, so you take raider as well. 

Dream: @Chocolat can you summon that chocolate sword you used a while ago and take raider as well? 

Chocolat: I can, yeah. 

Dream: Great! 

Dream: @Parfait, @Whip, @Gelato, @Custard, you four restrain the enemy. We don’t know exactly what it is, but I’m sure you can do it. 

Gelato: WE’LL TAKE CARE OF IT! 

Dream: Thank you! 

Egret: We need people to take care of the lackeys. 

Egret: @Marine, @Lovely, @Heart, you’re good with area attacks. Can you three take care of that? 

Marine: HECK YEAH! 

Dream: OKAY GIRLS! 

Dream: LET’S GO SAVE OUR WORLD AGAIN! 

Verone Girls Academy 

2:01 pm 

Yuriko: hey Kujo 

Yuriko: do you know where Nagisa and Honoka actually went? 

Yuriko: they weren’t at school today. 

Yuriko: neither were Shiho and Rina. 

Yuriko: I’m a bit concerned. 

Yuriko: and I know you’re basically their daughter and they tell you everything. 

Yuriko: so I was thinking that maybe you’d know what’s going on. 

Hikari: Would love to answer but am currently doing something important so can’t 

Yuriko: ah, okay. 

Hikari: okay got a bit of a reprieve: I have no idea where they actually are but I know what they’re doing 

Hikari: Crap reprieve over! Gotta go! 

Yuriko: ...I feel like I am constantly missing something in this chat. 

Hikari: evlwkopavwjs is 

Hikari: I should not tyeyp[ while doifenrq this 

Yuriko: Kujo are you okay??? 

Hikari: Hello, this is a friend of Hikari’s: she’s fine, don’t worry about it 

Yuriko: ...uh huh 

Hikari: I AM IN FACT OKAY 

Yuriko: why does everyone in this chat make me worry? 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

5:49 pm 

Dream: GOOD JOB GIRLS! 

Dream: ANOTHER THREAT TAKEN CARE OF! 

Ace: ...I don’t know if I would call Akane blowing up Mars a “good job”. 

Dream: ...okay, that part might not be great, BUT WE DID GOOD! 

Dream: besides, our usual “we fix everything after battle” duo might not be here right now but Mars is fine! 

Sunny: i did not mean for the sunny fire to go so nuts  

Star: THIS IS WHY YOU ALL NEED TRAINING TO FIGHT IN SPACE 

Star: i know some of you have already fought in space or low gravity conditions but the rest of you need some serious help  

Sunshine: Can we address the fact that Hikari was texting someone during the battle? 

Luminous: In my defense it was Honoka’s friend who was wondering where she was 

Sunshine: Based on what I read, I feel like there’s more to this “Nagisa and Honoka are heading out for a bit” situation than you’re telling us. 

Luminous: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Rosetta: All of you. Every single one of you. Concern me immensely. 

Magical: good 

Originals 

5:55 pm 

The one we dump our work onto: see saki! your first code magenta in charge and you did fine! 

2nd in Command: ...i literally just made you do everything. 

The one we dump our work onto: which is what Nagisa told you to do so you did great! 

2nd in Command: you are literally the only person who would think me dumping my work onto you is me doing a good job. 

The one we dump our work onto: yup! 

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

7:25 am 

Summer was added to the chat 

Grace: So, I know it’s a bit late but welcome to the main chat, Manatsu! 

Summer: TROPICAL! 

Lovely: THE NEW ONE 

Lovely: @Heart COME HELP ME GREEET HER 

Macaron: greeet 

Lovely: i honestly dont even care right now yukari 

Heart: Welcome to the main chat, new girl! 

Summer: Hello! It’s so nice to be here! I’m Manatsu Natsumi (Cure Summer)! 

Aqua: She’s off to a good start. 

Rouge: I’m surprised she already knows how to do a general introduction. 

Fontaine: Nodoka taught her. You really thought she would throw her in here without it? 

Rouge: Well, Nodoka is different for a pink, so I guess not. 

Dream: OOH! WE FINALLY GET TO MEET HER! 

Dream: WELCOME TO THE FAMILY MANATSU!!! 

Dream: i might not be your pink mother but we’re all family here! 

Marine: lets be real nearly everyone is a kid of nagisa and honoka even if its unofficial 

Macherie: WELCOME NEW GIRL 

Macherie: IT IS WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU WITH US NOW 

Beat: the face when you remember Emiru can be formal if she wants to be but wont 

Summer: The one place I’ve already been was really welcoming so I’m really glad to be part of the group! 

Mint: This is a welcome from all the Lurkers because Yukari refuses to message unless she’s roasting someone (read: Megumi) and Alice is busy: “Welcome to the chaos, new girl. We hope you enjoy it.” 

Lovely: YUKARI 

Lovely: IM NOT SURPRISED BUT STILL 

Lovely: WHY DO YOU EXIST TO ROAST ME FOR MY TYOPS 

Macaron: tyops 

Lovely: DAMN IT 

Chocolat: Welcome, kidlet. 

Sunshine: ...what the heck is a kidlet? 

Diamond: I would also like to know what a kidlet is. 

Chocolat: ...Yuri said it about Erika. 

Moonlight: Akira, why are you throwing me under the bus? 

Chocolat: Because I’m team dad and need to be trusted. 

Diamond: Can SOMEONE tell me what a kidlet is?!

Moonlight: Literally just a young one. 

Sparkle: AM I ALLOWED TO BE SURPRISED THAT THE MATURE ONES ARE BEING KINDA CHAOTIC??? 

Selene: They’re doing this for you people. 

Ace: They are, yeah. 

Ace: They planned it in the sanctuary. 

Moonlight: Neither of you were supposed to say anything. 

Selene: Sorry. 

Miracle: Do you really want Manatsu thinking you two are as chaotic as the rest of us? 

Chocolat: 

Moonlight: 

Moonlight: We made a mistake. 

Chocolat: We have in fact made a mistake. 

Rosetta: Yukari is laughing her ass off. 

Chocolat: I’m literally sitting next to her, Alice. I know. 

Parfait: they’re on a date; stop exposing them. 

Gelato: aren’t you just exposing them more though? 

Macaron: Ciel do you want to die? 

Parfait: no thanks. i quite like life, actually. 

Macaron: Then shut up . 

Parfait: YES MA’AM 

Summer: I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m okay with it! 

Blossom: No one ever knows what’s going on. 

Flora: Our usual chaos regulator is missing so we’re kind of just letting out all our inner chaos 

Felice: the fact that Yuri and Akira have joined in on being chaotic is telling of how much we’ve fallen without Honoka here to control us 

Aqua: APPARENTLY I’m not as terrifying as I used to be now that Urara knows I meme. 

Lemonade: Karen and Honoka memeing literally made my life complete. I can die happy now. 

Whip: please dont die Urara 

Summer: Everyone keeps talking about Nagisa and Honoka and now I’m REALLY excited to finally meet them! 

Melody: lumi you know what theyre doing so tell us

Luminous: I already told you I don’t know where they went 

Melody: thats not what i asked 

Felice: Lumi? WHEN DID HIKARI BECOME LUMI??? 

Felice: IT’S ADORABLE AND I WANT A NICKNAME LIKE THAT! 

Bloom: oh i think I remember Nagisa calling Hikari “Lumi” once and it just stuck 

Egret: It is a cute way to shorten Luminous. 

Luminous: I adore my nickname. I have the best mothers because they gave it to me. 

Luminous: Kotoha, you can fight me. 

Felice: I want to. I really do. 

Felice: but then Nagisa would murder me when she comes back so I’d rather not 

Twinkle: oh this is amazing. 

Beat: the face when you realize Nozomi and Kirara are technically married because Hikaru is their daughter 

Muse: Ellen, we love you but stop. 

Beat: but it’s fun. 

Twinkle: @Dream are we married? 

Dream: ??? 

Dream: I GUESS??? 

Dream: what does the rule book say Mana? 

Heart: ...I don’t think it has anything on that. 

Heart: I mean, you can if you want. 

Scarlet: We can use the Star Castle as the wedding location. 

Twinkle: i’m not opposed to marrying Nozomi. 

Twinkle: let’s do it. 

Rose: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???????? 

Beauty: It’s amazing how fast a conversation welcoming the new girl can devolve into Nozomi and Kirara getting married, isn’t it? 

Rose: THEY’RE GETTING WHAT ?! 

Beat: the face when you realize Kurumi is trying to decide how to tell Nozomi not to marry Kirara because she loves her  

Rose: You shut the fuck up. 

Rose: And I do not. 

Sunny: do y’all ever think about the fact that Kurumi is really damn obvious about her crushes on Karen and Nozomi 

Rose: OYU SHUT THE FUCK UP 

Macaron: oyu 

Rose: YUKARI 

Dream: Wait what? 

Aqua: Well okay then. 

Rose: I HATE ALL OF YOU 

Private chat - Kurumi, Kirara 

8:04 pm 

Kirara: You’re welcome. 

Kurumi: FUCK YOU 

Kurumi: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?????? 

Kirara: because we’re all tired of seeing you pine over both of them 

Kirara: this way you’ll have to take action 

Kurumi: I hate you and ellen and akane. 

Kirara: I know. 

Kurumi needs to stop pining 

8:10 pm 

Star Princess: Kurumi might hate everyone here except Towa now but we got her on the right track 

Electric Guitar Hair: Good. 

Fire Princess: That was an… interesting way of getting Kurumi’s feelings out there, Ellen. 

Electric Guitar Hair: I try. 

Electric Guitar Hair: thanks for playing along 

Star Princess: no problem 

THE SUN: she’s still freaking out and its amazing 

THE SUN: i owe rin for letting me watch this live 

Star Princess: send me that 

THE SUN: [attachment: 1 video] 

Fire Princess: I want to feel bad, but also I want her to stop pining. 

Electric Guitar Hair: she’ll feel better once she and Nozomi are dating 

Star Princess: i love how we just ignore the fact that Kurumi is also into Karen 

Electric Guitar Hair: we’ll ignore it until we find definitive proof that Karen and Komachi aren’t on the road to dating 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

9:00 pm 

Summer: I love this place. 

Summer: I have no idea what just happened. 

Summer: But I love this place. 

Summer: So much. 

Chapter Text

Verone Girls Academy 

4:05 am 

Shiho: we’re back! 

Yuriko: Shiho! where did you even go? 

Shiho: okay so get this 

Shiho: we got kidnapped by this weird “power of darkness” guy 

Shiho: and Cure Black and Cure White came to rescue us! 

Shiho: no idea how they knew but they did! 

Yuriko: oh I see 

Yuriko: interesting. 

Rina: While we were there, we found this weird book. The darkness guy told us to read it for some reason. 

Shiho: he let us keep it too 

Hikari: I feel like I’ll regret asking but what is it called? 

Rina: Painful Heart: A Cure’s Guide to Averting Soul Fracture 

Rina: No idea what soul fracture is, but it was an interesting read. 

Nagisa: soul fracture 

Nagisa: soul fracture 

Nagisa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A BOOK ON SOUL FRACTURE?!?!?! 

Rina: Nagisa, you know what soul fracture is?

Nagisa: of course he somehow got his hands on a book like that 

Nagisa: damn it 

Rina: Nagisa, answer me: do you know what soul fracture is? 

Nagisa: rina can i borrow that book 

Rina: Answer my question first. 

Nagisa: fuck 

Nagisa: fine 

Nagisa: yes i know what soul fracture is 

Nagisa: now can i borrow the book? 

Rina: … 

Honoka: Oh light, there’s a book on soul fracture?! 

Rina: Yukishiro knows what it is too?! 

Shiho: theres this weird passage written in some really weird text 

Shiho: im assuming no but can anyone read this 

Shiho: [attachment: 1 image] 

Nagisa: why the fuck is there dark speak in a soul fracture book 

Hikari: this is bad 

Honoka: That is... 

Honoka: “A feeling worse than death. Call out the name and it shall appear.” 

Honoka: It’s probably not as bad as it sounds. 

Honoka: At least, I hope it’s not as bad as it sounds. 

Nagisa: but what if it is? 

Shiho: YOU CAN READ IT YUKISHIRO????? 

Honoka: Well, we know Soul Fracture doesn’t happen if you just call out its name, so it likely wouldn’t make one happen. 

Honoka: I’m not entirely sure what it could possibly mean, though. 

Honoka: We might be missing some context as well, considering both sentences have parts that are far too faded to read. 

Rina: Yukishiro, why do you know how to read this? 

Honoka: I apologize, but I am not answering that. 

Rina: Yukishiro please. 

Honoka: I will not. 

Nagisa: consequences be damned im trying it 

Shiho: GUYS THE BOOK JUST DISAPPEARED?!?!?! 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

4:17 am 

Bloom: they’re online 

Bloom: THEY ARE ONLINE 

Summer: Who’s online? 

Melody: your grandmas are here manatsu! 

Summer: REALLY?! 

Melody: hell yeah! 

Summer: I WANNA MEET THEM!!! 

Berry: nagisa and honoka were gone? 

Peach: this is what happens when you dont read the chat for two days miki 

Berry: yeah missing that one’s on me. 

Dream: @Black SAKI DID GREAT WHILE SHE WAS IN CHARGE! SHE DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD HER TO DO! 

Bloom: Nozomi NO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN CHARGE EVER AGAIN!!! 

Dream: but you did good! 

Bloom: DONT DO THIS TO ME NOZOMI 

Black: oh my light  

Black: @Heart i trust you to tell me the truth 

Black: what happened? 

Heart: We had a single Code Magenta while you were away, in which Saki panicked and had Nozomi take over leading with Mai’s help. 

Heart: Hibiki also claimed the new girl, Cure Summer, as her child, meaning you now have a grandchild. Congrats! 

Heart: Oh, and Akane accidentally blew up Mars. It’s fine now, though. 

White: …@Sunny how the heck did you manage to blow up Mars???????? 

Sunny: no idea honestly 

Sunny: same way you and Nagisa used to blow up windows and other stuff on accident when you first got access to your powers in civilian form and had to recreate them i guess 

Sparkle: wait what? 

Sparkle: THAT HAPPENED?! 

Luminous: We don’t talk about it 

Luminous: and we still won’t so this conversation is over 

Sparkle: you’re no fun hikari 

Luminous: I know 

Star: it was actually her sunny fire not going where she wanted it to in space but the window story sounds really darn interesting 

Black: oh it is 

Black: maybe ill tell it someday 

Star: OOH! 

Black: ALSO: hibiki took the first irregular in ages and i am sad  

Melody: Manatsu is mine 

Black: i would challenge you but im backreading and she really does look like you and Kanade had a kid so i wont 

Melody: thanks 

Summer: Wait, I am not worth fighting over. 

Melody: disagree but we’re not going to fight anyway 

Black: and shes wholesome too 

Black: well i guess shes still part of my family so its fine 

White: The fact that you actually take that part of the rule book seriously is hilarious. 

Black: i know 

Bloom: youre a grandma now Nagisa. 

Black: shut the fuck up saki 

Mermaid:  I am very glad that Honoka is finally back. 

Mermaid: @White this chat goes very off the rails when you’re not here. 

White: 1. The chat goes off the rails even when I am here. 

White: 2. Do I want to know what happened? 

Twinkle: Nozomi and I almost got married. 

White: You- 

White: You what? 

Black: NOZOMI WHAT?! 

Rose: THAT’S WHAT I SAID! 

Beat: Nagisa’s freak out is due to surprise. Yours was because of love. 

Rose: if you say one more word I will slit your throat in your sleep 

Muse: Can anyone tell me why Ellen just squeezed herself into a box muttering about not sleeping with her throat exposed? 

Muse: Oh, wait, never mind. I see. 

Muse: Carry on. 

Macherie: NAGISA AND HONOKA HAVE RETURNED??? 

Macherie: WELCOME BACK LEADERS OF THE ALL STARS! 

Amour: I have blankets and I will not hesitate to burrito. 

Macherie: I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOUR BLANKETS RURU 

Macherie: OKAY MAYBE I AJKSKSNADH 

Amour: Youngling Sleep Device deployed. 

Black: well 

Black: that happened 

Black: anyway 

Black: Partner Cures, we need to have a meeting. 

Rhythm: What’s going on? 

Black: We’ll explain in the other chat. 

Partner Cures 

5:00 am 

Rebar: so i have a book on soul fracture 

Rebar: before you ask how or where just know that it came from when we left for a bit 

Rebar: im still not telling anyone where we went 

Spirit Shield: thats fine. 

Spirit Shield: what does it say? 

Rebar: theres a few parts 

Rebar: the one we’re looking at looks like… a story or something 

Rebar: it looks like it was written by a Cure of the Past 

Rebar: [attachment: 1 image] 

The Irregular: That’s the script for dark speak, right? 

Spirit Shield: looks like it yeah. 

Zinc Oxide: The content of that page is… concerning, to say the least. 

Zinc Oxide: “The land was dark and I couldn’t move on. Everything hurt, and I wondered if death would feel better.” 

Weaponized Music: what the fuck kind of message is that?! 

Ardea alba: My only question is why does a book supposedly written by a Cure of the Past have dark speak? 

Ardea alba: We’ve only just started learning it anyway, and I wouldn’t have thought that any of the past would dare try to learn it. 

Ovens and Pianos: Goodbye vocal chords. 

Weaponized Music: your vocal chords were fine kanade 

Ovens and Pianos: THEY WERE NOT 

Weaponized Music: YES THEY WERE 

Magic Wand: Break it up 

Magic Wand: We have more important things to discuss than how learning dark speak messed with your vocal chords 

Rebar: yeah 

Rebar: “We were separated for weeks, and my heart started to hurt. I didn’t have any medical ailments that would have caused this, so I knew what it had to be.” 

Spirit Shield: the only time you use proper punctuation and grammar is if youre quoting a book, oh my gosh. 

Rebar: you hush 

Rebar: “A soul fracture. My senpai had told me about them. A break in a Cure’s very soul that only occurs when they are separated from their partner for too long.” 

The Irregular: ...damn 

The Irregular: At least we have a concrete definition now? 

Zinc Oxide: That’s one way to look at it. 

Rebar: “My senpai was a Cure herself. She was separated from her partner too. Maybe that’s why I knew what to do.” 

Spirit Shield: that’s ominous as hell 

Rebar: … 

Rebar: this is… 

Rebar: not great 

Ovens and Pianos: What happened? 

Rebar: “We were halfway through the permanentism ritual when we got separated. We never finished it.” 

Magic Wand: I think I see where this is going and I don’t like it 

Rebar: “We needed to cancel it… even if it meant one (or both) of us would never be the same. It was the only way to stop the Soul Fracture from doing permanent damage.” 

Weaponized Music: I DONT LIKE THIS

Weaponized Music: I REALLY DONT LIKE THIS 

Spirit Shield: oh shit 

Rebar: i mean all of this was written in dark speak so im not sure how much we can actually believe? 

Rebar: but the dark speak entries do stop there so… 

The Irregular: So that’s why we were given so much time to decide whether to be permanent or not! 

Zinc Oxide: I’ll be honest: We had no idea there were consequences for a Partner Cure canceling the permanentism ritual. 

Zinc Oxide: It is a bit concerning. 

Rebar: it looks like the rest of the book is written in either japanese or light speak 

Rebar: so Honoka and i will read through that and get back to you all after we finish 

Zinc Oxide: Or we’ll scan the pages and share them here for you all to read. 

Ardea alba: I'd rather read it myself than rely on a summary. 

Ardea alba: No offense, Honoka. 

Zinc Oxide: Don’t worry about it. If I was in your position, I would want to read it myself as well. 

Rebar: ill get the page scannie thing 

5:25 am

Yuriko made a chat 

Yuriko added Nagisa and Honoka 

Yuriko: I was deliberating actually confronting you two about this but 

Yuriko named the chat “Y’all ain’t subtle” 

Yuriko: Cure Black and Cure White, y’all ain’t subtle. 

Honoka: … 

Nagisa: shit 

Chapter Text

Family of the Lightning 

6:03 am 

Wabbit: why are all the partner cures acting depressed? 

Lightning Rod Jr: they are? 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: That’s concerning 

TROPICALIZE: My mom, aunt, and grandmas are acting depressed? 

TROPICALIZE: Can I do anything to help? 

Lumi: Oh my light you’re so wholesome 

TROPICALIZE: I am? 

Wabbit: wholesomeness alert 

Moosical: oh fuck im worrying my daughter 

Moosical: its fine i promise 

TROPICALIZE: Sorry mom, but I doubt that. 

Black Thunder: oof you failed big time hibiki 

Moosical: shut up nagisa 

Black Thunder: im your mother dont tell me what to do 

6:07 am 

Manatsu made a chat 

Manatsu named the chat “Plan to Cheer Up my Mom, Aunt, and Grandmas” 

Manatsu added Hikari, Yayoi, Ichika, Hana, Lala, and Nodoka 

Manatsu: Aunts, we need a plan. 

Yayoi: oh wow 

Lala: Wholesome pink alert 

Manatsu: Take this seriously please. 

Manatsu: How can we cheer the partner cures up? 

Ichika: best i can do is bake something 

Ichika: maybe ill make the pinks some sweets 

Ichika: they like sweets 

Manatsu: It’ll be good for half of them, but… 

Manatsu: Question: who can drive legally? 

Lala: She’s already learned that she needs to add legally to everything. Smart kid. 

Hikari: Nagisa, Honoka, Mai, Komachi, Karen, Inori, Yuri, Kanade, Ellen, Reika, Mana, Rikka, Alice (if she wanted to), Iona, Minami, technically Mirai and Riko (but they’re better with magic carpets and broomsticks than actual cars), Yukari, Akira, Homare, Ruru (I think?), Elena, Madoka, and Chiyu… and I guess Asumi too 

Hikari: Well, kind of Nagisa. She has a license but we don’t actually trust her to drive 

Hikari: And I think Ako and Aguri hacked the system a while ago using combat boots and batman cowls they borrowed from Alice, so I think they can drive too, if they so desired, but that is definitely illegal 

Hikari: And Lala and Yuni can fly a rocket, but I don’t think that counts for cars. 

Lala: It doesn’t 

Lala: We nearly got arrested for it last time we tried 

Manatsu: I’m curious as heck about the magic carpets and broomsticks thing and the rocket thing, but I’m ignoring it for now. 

Manatsu: Who owns a car? 

Manatsu: Owning a stolen car doesn’t count. 

Ichika: Yuri and Akira 

Ichika: if youre planning what i think you are then ill ask Akira if we can borrow her van 

Ichika: Yuri’s car is kinda small so it wouldnt work well 

Hana: ARE WE GOING ON A ROAD TRIP??? 

Nodoka: Oh! That might be a good way to cheer them up! 

Nodoka: Honoka loves driving! 

Nodoka: Where should we go? 

Manatsu: I was thinking maybe Minamino Island. It’s where I used to live and not too far away. 

Yayoi: do you just want to see your old friends again? 

Manatsu: That’s not the point. 

Manatsu: I just want to cheer up my mom, aunt, and grandmas. 

Lala: Good light you’re wholesome 

Manatsu: You take a big boat there and there’s a lot of wildlife and such to look at too. 

Nodoka: We can work with that! I’ll talk my parents into letting me go. 

Ichika: ill ask Akira if we can borrow her van 

Hana: Nodoka if you need any help convincing your parents just ask 

Hana: mine will probably let me go 

Hana: especially if I tell them I’m going with Nagisa! 

Lala: Wait your parents know Nagisa? 

Hana: yeah! They met her a bit ago! 

Hana: I don’t remember why but it happened! 

Nodoka: My parents have been really open to me doing stuff recently, so I think I’ll be okay, but thanks! 

Manatsu: My mom has no idea I know you people. 

Manatsu: It might be slightly more difficult to convince her, but I’ll manage it! 

Hikari: I’ll tell Honoka she’ll be driving us somewhere soon 

Manatsu: Then we have our plan! LET’S GO! 

KiraKiraKiraru 

6:34 am 

Rabbit of Smiles: hey Akira can i borrow your van? 

Dog of Love: Do I want to know why? 

Rabbit of Smiles: we want to cheer up the Partner Cures that are a part of the Lightning Family so we planned a road trip 

Dog of Love: That’s… not as bad as I thought it was going to be. 

Dog of Love: Just… remember not to break any laws or crash please. 

Rabbit of Smiles: Honoka’s driving so we won’t! 

Squirrel of Intelligence: Where are you even going? 

Rabbit of Smiles: Minamino Island! 

Pegasus of Hope: Kanade didn’t up and buy an island in secret, right? 

Squirrel of Intelligence: wha-  

Rabbit of Smiles: ...i dont think she has the money to buy an island honestly 

Dog of Love: … 

Dog of Love: Well, I’ll let you borrow the van. Let me just get it ready for a road trip. 

Rabbit of Smiles: THANK YOU AKIRA!!! 

Verone Girls Academy 

6:38 am 

Hikari: Nagisa, Honoka I know you two are reading through that book but you’re free this weekend right? 

Hikari: Manatsu wants to cheer you up by planning a road trip and Honoka is the only one we trust to drive. 

Shiho: awww that’s sweet! 

Shiho: whos manatsu? 

Hikari: oh 

Hikari: wrong chat 

Hikari: whoops 

Nagisa: WHOLESOME PINK ALERT 

Honoka: Why is that child so wholesome? 

Hikari: She literally made an entire separate chat to plan the thing 

Hikari: The only one she’s met IRL is Nodoka but she’s already doing everything in her power to cheer you up 

Nagisa: we are not worthy 

Shiho: i am so confused 

Y’all ain’t subtle 

6:39 am 

Yuriko: am I allowed to ask who Manatsu is? 

Nagisa: our granddaughter 

Yuriko: what 

Nagisa: in the Precure Familial Hierarchy Honoka and i are now of the rank of grandma 

Nagisa: which i have mixed feeling about 

Nagisa: but yeah 

Honoka: I still don’t understand why you take this one part of the rule book seriously. 

Honoka: Out of everything Karen and I wrote, you only follow the rules of the Precure Familial Hierarchy. 

Nagisa: yeah 

Nagisa: :P 

Honoka: Well okay then. 

Verone Girls Academy 

6:41 am 

Rina: Speaking of books, does anyone know what happened to that book? 

Rina: The one on soul fracture? 

Rina: Because I feel like it’s more important than Shiho and I realized. 

Nagisa: no clue 

Honoka: I haven’t seen it. 

Yuriko: then what book are you reading through? 

Honoka: dang it Yuriko don’t do this to me 

Shiho: WHY DID YUKISHIRO STOP USING PROPER GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION?! 

Y’all ain’t subtle 

6:42 am 

Honoka: YURIKO PLEASE 

Yuriko: sorry. 

Yuriko: seeing you freak out is pretty funny though. 

Nagisa: i mean shes not wrong 

Honoka: Nagisa, I swear to the Queen- 

Verone Girls Academy 

6:45 am 

Hikari: Did I mention that we nominated Honoka to drive? 

Nagisa: i can drive too ya know 

Hikari: As though we trust you enough to let you anywhere near Akira’s van 

Nagisa: oh i do not want to drive akiras van 

Nagisa: she wont hesitate to kill me if i crash it 

Honoka: Oh! Akira’s van! That’s wonderful! 

Hikari: We knew you’d like it 

Hikari: Anyway go back to what you were doing and we’ll worry about the planning for the road trip 

Nagisa: will do! 

Nagisa: I need some time to panic after half of what I just read. 

Shiho: why is nagisa using proper punctuation suddenly?! 

Nagisa: Fear me, Shiho. 

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

8:28 am 

Sunny: uh guys? 

Sunny: i think i did something 

Beauty: What kind of something? 

Lovely: HOLD ON 

Lovely: WAS THE PEROSN ON THE NEWS YOU?!?!?! 

Macaron: perosn 

Lovely: YUKARI PLEASE  

Macaron: No 

Beauty: Tell me what happened. Now. 

Sunny: okay so i had gone to the bank with my parents right? 

Sunny: and these robber guys come in and try to steal stuff 

Sunny: they threatened my brother and I just- 

Sunny: i don’t even know what happened 

Lovely: IT WAS YOU!!! 

Blossom: Oh, that report. 

Blossom: The news said the robbers left the bank with third degree burns, if I remember correctly. 

Sunny: uh yeah… that 

Beauty: … 

Yell: do we need to break Akane out of jail? 

Yell: no offense Akane but I have something more important to do today than break you out of jail so please say no 

Sunny: im not in jail 

Sunny: my parents are currently yelling at each other about how they’re going to approach me about having magical powers 

Sunny: i think they forgot i can hear them

Sunny: but i don’t need to be broken out of jail 

Yell: great! 

Happy: im free to break Akane out of jail if we need to! 

Ace: Miyuki, you’re always free. 

Happy: So I can break everyone out of jail! 

Ace: I honestly meant that as an insult but okay. 

Sunny: Hana can i ask what’s more important than breaking me out of jail? 

Yell: The Lightning Family is going on a road trip! 

Aqua: Honoka is driving, correct? 

Yell: Oh yeah definitely 

Whip: everyone knows we don’t trust Nagisa to drive anywhere 

Whip: especially in Akira’s van 

Black: id say rude but theres a reason for it 

Black: i dont trust myself to drive akiras van so none of you should trust me either 

Black: plus id rather not drown in chocolate when i inevitably crash it 

Summer: Road trip! Road trip! Road trip! 

Summer: It’s time to go on a road trip! 

Peace: light you’re wholesome 

Summer: :)

Sunny: they’re coming up to ask me how I got my magical powers 

Sunny: guys what the fuck do I say 

Heart: *gays 

Sunny: Mana usually id go along with anything you say but I am panicking and need help now 

Heart: I guess you could just tell the truth? 

Sunny: bitch you nuts 

Sunny: there is no way im telling my parents that im a fucking magical girl 

Heart: It’s just a suggestion. You don’t have to listen to it, Akane. 

Flora: Oh 

Flora: oh light 

Flora: That’s- 

Flora: Akane that’s not good 

Sunny: you’re saying that as though I don’t know! 

White: And now I feel worried about going on this road trip. 

Luminous: I will confiscate your phone if I have to, Honoka. 

Luminous: You and Nagisa are going to relax and that’s final. 

White: … 

White: Fine.  

Luminous: Good 

Summer: Akane, I have an idea! 

Sunny: Pitch it new girl. I’m kind of desperate. 

Summer: What if you say you bonded with a fire elemental? 

Summer: Nodoka and her team are friends with some of those right? 

Sparkle: OH YEAH WE ARE!!! 

Sparkle: i can convince a fire elemental to play along if you want!!! 

Sunny: you’re a genius new girl! 

Sunny: we’ll see if that story works 

Rouge: oh for- 

Rouge: AKANE 

Family of the Lightning 

9:02 am 

Moosical: hey 

Moosical: lets play a game 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: We are??? 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: All in the car??? 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Why are you texting??? 

Moosical: because nagisa is asleep and i don’t want to wake her 

Moosical: plus manatsu isnt in the car so hush lala 

TROPICALIZE: How close are you guys? 

Hugs: Not far 

Doctor: We’re nearly at your house, Manatsu! 

TROPICALIZE: Tropical! 

TROPICALIZE: I can’t wait to meet everyone in person! 

Moosical: dont worry my wonderful wholesome daughter 

Moosical: we’ll be there to pick you up soon! 

TROPICALIZE: Yay! 

Moosical: until we get there lets play a game 

Lumi: You better be quiet or I am confiscating all your phones 

Hugs: We’re quieter when we have our phones though? 

Lumi: I will confiscate all the phones darn it 

TROPICALIZE: Is Aunty Lumi always like this? 

Doctor: She’s not. 

Doctor: It’s just that she knows what’s going on and she’s worried. 

Doctor: And she’s gone into “I will kill for my moms” mode so there’s that. 

Lumi: I’d like to say that I don’t kill people? 

Lumi: I’m literally the biggest pacifist you'll see in the Precure line-up and you all know this 

Lumi: Well Manatsu doesn’t but still 

Wabbit: oh shoot Honoka is telling us to be quiet 

Lumi: I’m muting this chat on her and Nagisa’s phones until we reach our destination. 

Lightning Rod Jr: just tell me what game we’re playing because I’m bored right now 

Moosical: guess who 

Moosical: we’ll write a description or something in the chat and everyone else guesses 

Lightning Rod Jr: ye 

Lightning Rod Jr: lets do it! 

Summer: Sounds fun! 

Moosical: i'll go first 

Moosical: “someone get me my fucking rebar” 

Lumi: Nagisa  

Wabbit: Nagisa 

Doctor: Nagisa 

Hugs: def Nagisa 

Muggleborn: Nagisa 

Lightning Rod Jr: Nagisa 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Nagisa. 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Hibiki you can do better than that 

Summer: ? 

Summer: Gram Black uses rebar as a weapon? 

Muggleborn: She did once 

Muggleborn: Honoka can tell you the story when we pick you up 

Summer: Okay! 

Wabbit: i'll go next 

Wabbit: that aliens meme 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: IF THAT ISNT HIKARU- 

Wabbit: that was fast 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: If that isn’t Hikaru I’m quitting 

Wabbit: it was Hikaru 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: fuck yeah 

Muggleborn: … 

Muggleborn: who the hell taught Lala curse words? 

Hugs: well.. Nagisa does curse a lot? 

Lumi: I’m up for blaming Erika. 

Wabbit: same 

Lightning Rod Jr: blaming Erika is the go-to so im for it too 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Is it that big a deal that I know curse words? 

Muggleborn: Yes. 

Lumi: Very. 

Wabbit: youre not supposed to know curse words Lala. 

Lumi: If I’m not allowed to curse then neither are you 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Fine 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: “The world is ending but it’s okay because I have my girlfriend and our supportive friends.” 

Muggleborn: Saki or Mai 

Muggleborn: Probably Saki 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Mirai got it 

Wabbit: wouldn’t that also be Nagisa and Honoka though? 

Muggleborn: “supportive friends” 

Muggleborn: Hikari is a supportive friend 

Muggleborn: Saki and Mai are the ones with Michiru and Kaoru 

Wabbit: i see your point and admit to being incorrect 

Hugs: you should have added “and my talking cat” 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: I should have yes but it’s too late now 

Muggleborn: MY TURN!!! 

Muggleborn: Electric guitar hair 

Moosical: BRO THAT IS ELLEN 

Summer: ????????? 

Summer: SOMEONE HAS ELECTRIC GUITAR HAIR?! THAT’S AWESOME!!! 

Moosical: I know right?! 

Moosical: ITS GREAT! 

Moosical: “Death? I don’t fear her for I have overcome her.”

Lightning Rod Jr: Setsuna 

TROPICALIZE: Do I… do I want to know why for that one? 

Muggleborn: Probably not 

Lightning Rod Jr: “I exist in this world as a being of chaos.” 

Muggleborn: Has to be Erika or Hinata 

Lightning Rod Jr: Erika yeah 

Muggleborn: ! 

Muggleborn: “Dude what happened to my invinc-

Muggleborn: WHY THE DUCK IS THERE A PINK WOLF RUNNING ALONGSIDE THE CAR 

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

10:01 am 

Miracle: [attachment: 1 image]

Miracle: DOES ANYONE RECOGNIZE THIS WOLF?! 

Blossom: There’s another one? 

Bloom: … 

Bloom: is that fucking crystal? 

Heart: OH SHIT 

Diamond: Mana?! 

Peace: Mana’s cursing 

Peace: is the world ending again?!  

Heart: I am so fucking dead 

Heart: shit 

Heart: where are you gays right now? 

Marine: even when panicking she keep up the “gays not guys” thing 

Marine: i am impressed 

Miracle: We’re like ten minutes from Aozora City

Heart: … 

Heart: I am so fucking dead 

Black: … 

Black: why the fuck is crystalus running alongside the van mana? 

Heart: I left Marshmallow with him so he shouldn’t have left but THEN THIS HAPPENED?! 

Heart: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE GOT OUT 

Mermaid: Mana, are you okay? 

Heart: No, but thanks for asking, Minami. 

Mermaid: No problem. 

Black: then get him back before he finds who he’s looking for 

Black: he still needs city life training 

Flora: I am so lost. 

Blossom: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we all are. 

Bloom: for once so am i. 

Melody: when the fuck did nagisa wake up?! 

Black: ive been awake for a while 

Black: i was pretending to sleep to see how long it would take for you all to realize 

Milky: Why am I not surprised 

Black: because im the worst 

Luminous: Honoka says “You’re not and if you keep saying that, I’m pulling over and-” 

Luminous: … 

Luminous: I lost it 

Luminous: I completely lost what she was saying 

Luminous: Nagisa you’re the only one who speaks that one 

Black: aww 

Black: thats both sweet and terrifying 

Fortune: What did she say? 

Milky: Coming from someone who has an automatic translator practically glued to her chest, PLEASE DONT 

White: I’m sorry, Lala. 

Chocolat: Please don’t text and drive. 

Chocolat: I don’t want any of you hurt. 

Whip: You just don’t want us to crash your van. 

Chocolat: That too. 

Black: we were at a stoplight so i think we’re good 

Black: Honoka put her phone away after she sent it so its not like shes actually texting and driving 

Chocolat: That makes me feel slightly better. 

Summer: OOH! 

Summer: You're in the city limits now?! 

Summer: You're almost here!!! 

Melody: you know it my wonderfully wholesome daughter! 

Sunny: guys 

Heart: *gays 

Sunny: gays i would like to say goodbye 

Happy: AKANE?! 

Happy: ARE YOU OKAY?!  

Sunny: my parents didnt believe the fire elemental story so im kinda screwed 

Heart: truth 

Sunny: hell no 

Rose: Serves you right bitch 

Lemonade: that’s a bit rude Kurumi 

Lemonade: I know Akane was one of the ones who outed your crush but 

Rose: fuck Akane 

Sunny: that’s fair honestly 

Felice: changeling 

Sunny: ...you want me to say I’m a fucking changeling?! 

Felice: it could work 

Happy: even i can tell that’s a bad idea and im an idiot 

Felice: im just saying that it could work 

Sunny: absolutely not 

Sunny: that is by far the worst idea i have ever heard from any of you and i will not do it 

Magical: Haa-chan, please. 

Magical: That is a horrible idea. 

Magical: Akane, don’t do it. 

Sunny: I don’t want to 

Miracle: Based solely on myth and stuff calling yourself a changeling is literally how you die 

Sunny: that’s literally why I don’t want to do it 

Sunny: i know this sorta stuff by listening to Miyuki when she starts ranting about fairy tails and such 

Sunny: so ill just come up with something on my own 

Sunny: that doesn’t include anything that could get me killed 

Sunny: y’all go back to your stuff 

Happy: I CAN HELP IF YOU NEED IT! 

Sunny: appreciated but ill figure it out 

Dream: WAIT IS THAT A CRYSTAL WOLF?!??!?!! 

Dream: NAGISA WHO IS THAT CRYSTAL WOLF?!?!??!!?!! 

Heart: Nagisa, I am so fucking sorry for letting him get out. 

Black: just get him back before something happens 

Heart: Already on my way to pick him up 

Dream: ANSWER ME PLEASE!!!!! 

Summer: OOH!!! IS THAT YOU GUYS OUTSIDE MY HOUSE?! 

Melody: come on my wonderful wholesome daughter! 

Melody: to road trip!!! 

Summer: To road trip!!! 

Dream: GUYS PLEASE 

Heart: *gays 

Dream: GAYS PLEASE 

Dream: PLEASE TELL ME WHO THAT WOLF IS 

Black: and this is why we were supposed to keep crystalus out of view 

Heart: I am so sorry. 

Dream: WHO IS THE CRYSTAL WOLF?! 

Black: light damn it mana 

Heart: I’M SORRY!!! 

Heart: I HAVE FAILED YOU AS THE ONLY PINK YOU TRUST!!! 

Bloom: the fact that the only pink you trust isn’t one of your own children is sad. 

Black: i think its more sad that its not my own cousin 

Bloom: you threatened to throw me out a window a week ago. 

Black: well you were being annoying 

Summer: Should I be concerned? 

Melody: the older girls always threaten each other 

Happy: we think theyre just joking 

Miracle: I mean, Nagisa threatens Hibiki sometimes and we know she’s joking 

Melody: do we though 

Miracle: yes? 

Coral: That question mark is telling. 

Summer: Oh! Sango! When did you get here? 

Coral: I didn’t even know this existed until my cousin contacted me asking if I had become a Precure. 

Summer: I am so sorry. I completely forgot to add you. 

Coral: It’s fine! 

Coral: I actually had no idea why she was asking until she said “You live in a city that has started to get attacked and you have the color scheme for one so if you aren’t yet you might be soon.” 

Coral: And then she directed me to Minami when I said I already was. 

Coral: And that’s how I got here. 

Summer: IM SORRY SANGO 

Summer: IM SUCH A BAD FRIEND 

Coral: You’re really not. You’re a very good friend. 

Coral: And I said it was fine. 

Coral: Besides, it’s good to have connections, right? 

Selene: Absolutely yes. 

Flora: Ooh! Minami never told me she was the one who added the newest new girl! 

Mermaid: That’s because I didn’t feel the need to, Haruka. I don’t need to tell you everything. 

Flora: I know that! It’s just really nice that you added her! 

Towa: Are we not going to talk about how the newest new girl is apparently Yui’s cousin? 

Mermaid: We are not. 

Sunny: quick update: my bro found out the truth and agreed to help me keep it from my parents 

Sunny: he’s helping me come up with an excuse that they’ll believe right now 

Happy: REMEMBER THAT IM HERE IF YOU NEED ME!!! 

Sunny: really appreciate it Miyuki 

Sunny: but I’m actually okay yow 

Macaron: yow 

Sunny: aren’t you only supposed to roast Megumi? 

Lovely: HEY! 

Macaron: I am an equal opportunity lurker of the roasting nation 

Macaron: None of you are safe 

Sunny: that’s fair 

Lovely: NO IT ISNT 

Ace: Megumi, you just suck at typing. 

Ace: That’s not Yukari’s fault. 

Macaron: Aguri is currently and will always be my favorite youngling. 

Ace: Thank you! 

Coral: Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this? 

Berry: because you will 

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

12:31 pm 

Summer: Quick quipesfion! 

Macaron: I- 

Macaron: how- 

Macaron: Even I don’t know what to do with that one 

Lovely: SErIOOUSKY 

Macaron: serloousky 

Lovely: WHY??!?!?!!?!?!?!?? 

Macaron: Because I love making fun of you 

Fortune: Honestly, Yukari, I think we all do. 

Lovely: IOJNA NO 

Rosetta: Iojna? 

Mint: Megumi, when did you get a new teammate? 

Honey: that is now Iona’s name on our chat 

Fortune: Yuko I will murder you 

Honey: please do 

Welcome to the happiness shop 

12:32 pm 

Vengeance’s name was changed to Iojna 

Iojna: I hate Megumi and Yuko with a passion. 

Adult Supervision: Iona, what- 

THIBGY: iona please dont hate me

Rice: hehe 

Iojna: Fuck you, Yuko. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

12:33 pm 

Summer: wha- 

Coral: Yeah, I definitely regret this. 

Grace: Uh… gays? 

Grace: We have a tiny problem. 

Summer: OH YEAH 

Summer: I WAS SUPPOSED TO MENTIOMN THAT 

Macaron: Mentiomn 

Summer: OH! 

Summer: I’VE JOINED THE RANKS OF THE PINKS THAT GET ROASTED FOR TYPOS!!! 

Ace: Since when is that a good thing?! 

Coral: Where is the undo button? 

Coral: I regret my choices 

Berry: welcome to the “we’re the second-in-commands to pinks and we regret it so much” club 

Custard: We’re a club??? 

Custard: When did we become an actual club???

Grace: EXCUSE ME 

Grace: You can talk about club status later, but we have a PROBLEM right now! 

Melody: damn nodoka is fuming 

Melody: you gays better listen to her or she might actually go violent like nagisa 

Black: shut the fuck up disappointment 

Melody: youre saying that to me? 

Melody: youre more of a disappointment than me MOM  

White: No, she’s not. 

Rhythm: Nagisa is so much less of a disappointment than you, Hibiki 

Chocolat: Honoka, please. No texting and driving. 

Melody: i have been betrayed by my own partner 

Melody: how could you kanade 

Rhythm: I exist to betray you with harmless stuff like this 

Rhythm: You should be used to it 

Melody: i am but still 

Grace: EXCUSE ME 

Grace: MAY I TALK NOW?! 

Bloom: oh shit 

Bloom: let Nodoka talk before she decides to kill us all 

Grace: THANK YOU 

Grace: We might have gotten ourselves stuck. 

Chocolat: What kind of stuck? 

Summer: Gram Black might have accidentally somehow put her foot on the gas pedal and we zoomed off the boat. 

Summer: The van might have fallen into the ocean. 

Chocolat: You 

Chocolat: You wrecked my van? 

Chocolat: YOU FUCKERS WRECKED MY FUCKING VAN?! 

Chocolat: I ALMOST HAD THE DAMN THING PAID OFF AND YOU WRECKED IT?! 

White: The van is actually fine, believe it or not. 

White: I’m providing proof in case you don’t believe me. 

White: [attachment: 1 image] 

Gelato: And that, Gays and Bis, is the rarest of rare events: Akira cursing 

Gelato: Enjoy it while you can because it might very well disappear by tomorrow morning 

Macaron: Akira are you okay? 

Chocolat: … 

Chocolat: My van is okay so yeah, I’m fine. 

Whip: the realization that akira loves her van more than she loves us just hit me 

Chocolat: That’s not necessarily true. 

Parfait: Necessarily?! 

Peace: its rare enough to see Mana curse but to see Akira curse on the same day… 

Peace: the world really is ending again soon isn’t it? 

Black: i hope not 

Black: i am not in the mood to deal with another world-ender 

Heart: Update: I got Crystalus back. 

Black: wrong chat mana 

Heart: 

Heart: LIGHT DAMN IT 

Heart: I’ll lose my status as the only reliable pink at this rate. 

Blossom: I would be out to steal your spot Mana but I do not want to deal with the responsibilities that go with it. 

Heart: Honestly, fair. 

Flora: Nodoka could probably steal it if she wanted to 

Grace: But I don’t, so don’t bring me into this please. 

Blossom: Your request has been granted, Nodoka. 

Melody: you all know the only thing keeping Mirai from trying to steal Mana’s spot is her ditziness right? 

Miracle: Don't bring me into this Hibiki 

Rosetta: As you all know, I have access to security cameras from across Japan. 

Rosetta: This leads me to have one question for the Lightning Family: 

Rosetta: How are you idiots driving on top of the ocean and why aren’t the waves trying to kill you? 

Summer: Aunty Miracle spelled the car! 

Rosetta: Ah, I see. That explains it. Carry on. 

Magical: Mirai you what? 

Miracle: I spelled the car as it was falling so that it wouldn’t suffer any water damage and would be able to drive on the water 

Miracle: It’s no big deal 

Berry: we have a new Jesus 

Berry: sorry Setsuna but you have been replaced 

Passion: Miki please. 

Pine: … 

Peach: and buki is crying again 

Peach: miki i am begging you to stop 

Miracle: I do not want to be new Jesus thanks 

Miracle: Setsuna can have it back 

Pine: please stop 

Passion: Okay seriously all of you 

Passion: No more of this. 

Passion: Miki I’m directing this mainly towards you. 

Berry: alright alright i’ll stop 

Black: yeah anyway we’re heading back to civilization 

Coral: Seriously? 

Coral: I’ve been here for less than a day and Manatsu has already almost gotten herself killed because of you people. 

Fontaine: I apologize for our pinks that we seem to be unable to control. 

Summer: KEYWORD THERE IS ALMOST SANGO 

Summer: I HAVEN'T DIED BECAUSSE OF THEM YET!!! 

Macaron: becausse 

Summer: Thank you Yukari! 

Macaron: This is supposed to be insulting 

Summer: I know! 

Summer: But you’re helping me realize my mistakes! 

Peace: stop being so damn wholesome 

Summer: No 

Grace: Chiyu, I am not as bad as the rest of my color! 

Fontaine: No, you’re not, and for that I am eternally grateful. 

Coral: Manatsu is going to be one of the bad ones, won’t she? 

Gelato: It’s way too early to tell 

Coral: I am already so worried. 

Ange: As you should be. 

Yell: holy light SAAYA?! 

Yell: YOURE ACTUALLY HERE?! 

Yell: and she’s offline again 

Yell: darn it 

Sunny: imagine you’re entire team not being active 

Happy: Akane Nao hasnt been on for a month 

Happy: and Reika would have joined her if she wasnt excessively worried about us 

Peace: she has reason to be 

Beauty: I am glad you all realize the only reason I’m still here. 

Aqua: Daughter, you don’t get to leave me with them. 

Beauty: I know, Mother. 

Diamond: Am I allowed to leave, Mother? 

Aqua: You wouldn’t even if you were. 

Diamond: Crud that’s true, isn’t it? 

March: THIS IS WHY I AM LITERALLY NEVER ON 

Sunny: NAO! 

Happy: holy light NAO?! 

Happy: and shes gone again 

Yell: feel my pain Miyuki 

Happy: always do 

Coral: Am I concerned? Yes. 

Coral: Am I certain that I have already had enough? Also yes. 

Coral: Am I staying anyway? Absolutely yes. 

Chapter Text

Nozomi’s ONE Secret 

5:01 pm 

Good Reflection: so… 

“Bad” Reflection: what? 

Good Reflection: are you ever going to actually tell everyone else that youre back? 

“Bad” Reflection: we’ll see 

Bad Fire Reflection: bitch 

“Bad” Reflection: you take that back or i will stab you 

Good Reflection: no stabbing! stabbing is bad! 

“Bad” Reflection: for you maybe 

Good Reflection: dream please 

Bad Light Reflection: haha fuck your attempts at making us good 

“Bad” Reflection: i will not hesitate to stab all of you if you keep insulting my sister 

Good Reflection: ...i want to scold you for threatening to stab people 

Good Reflection: but also youre doing it for me so i am very conflicted 

Bad Wind Reflection: I’d say “cute” but i honestly could care less 

Bad Water Reflection: Why do none of you even try ? 

Bad Water Reflection: We all are horrible but at least she’s trying to help us. 

Bad Fire Reflection: oh god they got Aqua to switch sides 

Bad Light Reflection: fuck 

Good Reflection: guys please  

“Bad” Reflection: you’ll get a name change if you switch sides 

Bad Water Reflection’s name was changed to Water Reflection 

Water Reflection: This is very nice. 

“Bad” Reflection: it better be 

Good Reflection: please don’t threaten to stab her 

“Bad” Reflection: Aqua switched to our side so shes fine 

“Bad” Reflection: don't think i wont stab the rest of you without warning though 

Good Reflection: dream please 

“Bad” Reflection: fine 

“Bad” Reflection: i wont stab anyone 

“Bad” Reflection: yet 

Good Reflection: dream please 

Good Reflection: aqua help me 

Water Reflection: Your reflection, your problem. 

Good Reflection: :( 

Water Reflection: : )  

Good Reflection: dont smirk at me aqua 

“Bad” Reflection: I haven’t stabbed anyone yet if youre still going to try to stop me Nozomi 

Good Reflection: DREAM PLEASE DONT STAB ANYONE 

Bad Fire Reflection: oh my shadow 

Bad Light Reflection: this is so fucking entertaining to watch 

Bad Wind Reflection: agreed 

Water Reflection: All of you are horrible, but this is entertaining so...  

Water Reflection: Let’s just sit back, relax, and watch the chaos escalate until Dream outs herself to the Good Cures. 

“Bad” Reflection: as if i would ever do something so moronic 

Bad Fire Reflection: ...you’re Nozomi’s reflection 

“Bad” Reflection: that is a very good point but I’m not nearly as dumb as her 

Good Reflection: you are not the smarter twin dream 

“Bad” Reflection: says you 

Bad Wind Reflection: as fun as this is to watch doesnt Nozomi have a thing soon? 

Good Reflection: oh 

Good Reflection: so i do 

Good Reflection: looks like i have to go 

Good Reflection: Please try not to kill each other while I’m offline. 

“Bad” Reflection: No promises. 

Water Reflection: I’ll try to keep them in check. 

Water Reflection: Can’t promise Dream won’t stab one of them though. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

5:23 pm 

Rose: Kirara I will kill you 

Rose: get over here so I can 

Fortune: Do we want to know what she did to deserve this? 

Twinkle: [attachment: 1 image] 

Rose: YOU- 

Rose: KIRARA I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU 

Dream: i want to comment on that because im curious but also i have something i need to deal with so i wont be 

Rose: FUCK 

Rose: NOZOMI DONT YOU DARE READ WHAT KIRARA SENT 

Rose: Karen isn’t reading the chat currently right? 

Rose: KAREN IF YOURE ONLINE PLEASE DONT READ ANY OF THIS 

Dream: currently trying to stop someone from stabbing another someone so i cant even if i wanted to 

Egret: … 

Egret: You’re what? 

Dream: give me my fudging phone back dream 

Dream: hell no 

Dream: you took my knife 

Dream: RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN ROUGE 

Dream: IM NOT SCARED OF A PINK BITCH WITH A KNIFE 

Rouge: I’m sorry what? 

Mint: Wait Nozomi- 

Dream: THE PHONE IS MINE 

Dream: GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE DREAM 

Dream: THEN GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING KNIFE AND LET ME STAB ROUGE NOZOMI 

Rouge: I’M SORRY WHAT?! 

Dream: you idiots are aware speech to text is currently activated correct 

Dream: oh fuck 

Dream: IGNORE ALL OF THAT PLEASE 

Fortune: I don’t want to ignore that. 

Yuri: Neither do I. 

Yuri: I hate to admit it, but you have piqued my curiosity. 

Dream: SHE WARNED US THIS WOULD HAPPEN 

Bloom: i don’t even know what to make of this. 

Bloom: @Black you want to try to decipher this or should we just ignore it? 

Black: nozomi 

Dream: ...yes? 

Black: … 

Originals 

5:30 pm 

Leader: explain what happened @The one we dump our work onto  

The one we dump our work onto: uh 

The one we dump our work onto: so you know how my team had these evil reflections of ourselves that one time 

2nd in Command: you’ve told that story before, yes. 

The one we dump our work onto: and how mine turned good before she sacrificed herself for me? 

Leader: where are you going with this? 

The one we dump our work onto: so the reflections might be back and im trying to teach them how to be nice 

The one we dump our work onto: i have my reflection and karen’s turned good but “dark” dream still wants to stab the others except aqua so… 

2nd in Command: sounds like a big fucking dialema. 

The one we dump our work onto: anyway i took her knife so she took my phone and lemonade fucked with us by logging into my account and using speech to text to send the entire thing to the main chat 

Leader: OOF 

Leader: … i should not have been doing this in plain view of my children 

2nd in Command: oh my light 

2nd in Command: Nagisa. 

Leader: i didnt realize? 

Leader: anyway if we just ignore it and delete the messages then no one will remember in a few days 

The one we dump our work onto: NAGISA YOURE A GENIUS 

Leader: no im a fucking idiot but okay 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

5:33 pm 

Dream has deleted 12 messages 

Fortune: You can’t run Nozomi. 

Fortune: You will answer us one way or another. 

Rose: @Flora where is Kirara right now? 

Flora: In her dorm room I think. Why? 

Sunny: Haruka you just signed her death warrant 

Flora: Wait what? 

Flora: What did Kirara do? 

Rose: an unforgivable act that must be punished 

Rose: by DEATH 

Flora: oh 

Peach: can we please remember that we arent supposed to threaten the younger girls? 

Rose: n o 

Peach: … 

Peach: i dont have enough authority to win this one 

Bloom: Mana somehow has more authority than you Love. 

Heart: It’s the lesbian energy. 

Heart: We are sorted in our hierarchy by the amount of Lesbian Energy we exert. 

Heart: Love doesn’t have all that much, if we’re being completely honest. 

White: That is not how the hierarchy works, Mana. 

Heart: I know that and you know that, but Love doesn’t so shhhh. 

Peach: i can read through strikethrough you know 

Heart: Darn. 

Coral: Should I be concerned that threatening each other is normal here? 

Summer: From what I understand only the older girls threaten each other. 

Summer: Well unless one of the younger girls outs the love interest of another 

Summer: Then I think it’s fair game. 

Rose: See Love 

Rose: Even the new girl is on my side. 

Heart: Good, child. Learn and memorize everything I have given you. 

Melody: wait SHE’S BEEN READING THE RULE BOOK THIS ENTIRE TIME?! 

Rose: SO THE RULE BOOK IS ON MY SIDE 

Rose: HA! 

Chocolat: Wait, I saw Honoka here earlier. 

Chocolat: You better not be texting and driving, @White . 

White: Oh, we’ve been back on dry land for a while, actually. 

White: We found a very nice empty spot in a park and are currently having a picnic. 

Chocolat: Oh, I see. Is my van safe? 

White: [attachment: 1 video] 

Chocolat: Good. 

Whip: akira still loves her van more than she loves us 

Dream: i want to cry because my twin just stabbed someone 

Dream: shit wrong chat 

Mint: I WAS RIGHT!!!!! 

Dream has deleted 1 message 

Fortune: DON’T RUN NOZOMI 

Fortune: I WANT AN EXPLANATION DAMN IT 

Chapter Text

Y’all Ain’t Subtle 

6:14 pm 

Yuriko: quick question: was there ever any follow up to Shiho and Rina’s kidnapping? 

Nagisa: the power of darkness guy wasnt actually evil? 

Nagisa: he just wanted to get us out there so that we could get the book and collect the supernatural canines he raises 

Yuriko: collect the what? 

Nagisa: because apparently there’s this thing from the olden times where Precure had animal partners that weren’t their fairies 

Nagisa: and hes one of the past demon wolves taken human form 

Nagisa: and our generation is apparently supposed to bring it back 

Yuriko: again, collect the what? 

Honoka: She’s talking about the wolves we have. 

Honoka: Blackstone and Whitehouse. 

Yuriko: ooh 

Nagisa: we got crystalus from him 

Nagisa: and stella 

Nagisa: and flos 

Nagisa: damn he gave us a lot of canines to train 

Honoka: You’re literally making Mana train them, Nagisa. 

Nagisa: i know 

Yuriko: and the soul fracture thing? 

Nagisa: … 

Nagisa: uh thats kinda complicated 

Yuriko: okay. 

Yuriko: then I won’t ask. 

Nagisa: ah heck mai is growing her bird army again 

Nagisa: we gotta go 

Yuriko: ...a what army?

Honoka: Don’t worry about it. 

Yuriko: WELL NOW I’M GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

6:23 pm 

Egret: The eagle has returned. 

Summer: Eagle? 

Bloom: Mai has a bird army and the eagle is a part of it 

Summer: Oh 

Summer: Cool! 

Egret: He brought back more recruits. 

Black: mai do you really need more birds in your army 

Egret: Yes. 

Dream: the army is growing again? 

Egret: Of course. 

Lemonade: The bird army is growing again! 

Coral: Wha- 

Mermaid: Sango, I am so sorry. 

Coral: I mean, it’s my fault for wanting to be here but… 

Coral: This place is so weird. 

Fontaine: Why are all the birds migrating towards the ocean? 

Egret: MY ARMY GROWS 

Fontaine: ooh 

Fontaine: So that’s why. 

Lala: I hate how we’re all used to Mai collecting birds for her army by now 

Summer: This has happened before?! 

Coral: I’m scared to ask, but when ? 

Etoile: The last time was before Nagisa got her demon wolf, right? 

Yell: HOMARE?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Yell: YOU’RE HERE?!?! 

Etoile: Just because I don’t speak doesn’t mean I’m not here, Hana. 

Bloom: speaking of Blackstone: its been a while since Nagisa has complained about him doing something. 

Bloom: is he just being a good boy or did something happen? 

Black: he found out he can hide in my shadow 

Black: hes been doing that for a while 

Bloom: ohh 

Sunny: y’all I just found a phoenix outside my house 

Sunny: he’s asking where to find the bird army headquarters 

Luminous: If that’s Hinata, I swear- 

Black: lumi you arent allowed to swear 

Black: you know this 

Sunny: i asked 

Sunny: the phoenix says his name isnt hinata 

Sunny: @Egret the headquarters is near your observatory right? 

Egret: It is, yeah. 

Sunny: then thats what I’m telling him 

Egret: Excellent. 

Egret: Grow, my bird army! 

Egret: GROW! 

Rhythm: Again, Mai? 

Magical: Oh boy, here we go again. 

Coral: This is… apparently normal. 

Berry: i mean we made it about two weeks before she started this again 

Berry: which doesnt sound like a lot 

Berry: but its longer than normal so i think we achieved something 

Coral: Good lord 

Amour: That is the only reaction you can have to prove that you are still sane. 

Amour: “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE” is also a valid response. 

Coral: I- 

Summer: Oh yeah 

Summer: I was reading the book Mana sent me 

Summer: and came across this thing 

Summer: [attachment: 1 image] 

Bloom: i- 

Summer: What is soul fracture? 

Summer: And why are we not supposed to talk about it? 

Black: HONOKA 

Melody: and now nagisa is screaming at honoka in dark speak 

Milky: We get to understand all the curse words she’s spewing out 

Milky: Goodie 

Grace: I don’t? 

Milky: Be glad for that 

Heart: Manatsu, darling, the rule is to not talk about soul fracture. 

Heart: Meaning you aren’t supposed to ask about it, no matter how curious you are. 

Summer: Oh. 

Summer: I messed up. 

Aqua: I remember Honoka adding that and never telling me what it was. 

Aqua: I never asked but if it gets Nagisa angry enough to scream at Honoka of all people, it must be bad. 

Miracle: I mean… it is? 

Miracle: That’s why we don’t talk about it 

Rhythm: That’s- 

Bloom: i give up. 

Bloom: im out. 

Bloom: im getting out of here before we have to explain. 

Bloom: @Egret we’re leaving for a bit. 

Egret: Fine by me. 

Bloom: i'll see you all later mistakes. 

Cosmo: That wasn’t directed at me but I feel insulted 

Bloom: as you should. 

Cosmo: anyway 

Cosmo: You girls didn’t know about soul fracture? 

Cosmo: I thought it was common knowledge. 

Magical: NO?! 

Magical: IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE! 

Cosmo: oh 

Etoile: It’s some kind of Partner Cure secret. 

Etoile: If we look at who has responded with any sign that they actually know anything about it. 

Yell: MOMS YOURE HIDING SOMETHING DROM ME??? 

Macaron: drom 

Macaron: Also, Akira and I are concerned. 

Melody: oh speaking of akira 

Melody: mirai is currently screeching cure up rapapa into my ear to protect the van in case it crashes 

Chocolat: I appreciate you taking measures to protect my van, but please don’t blow out Hibiki’s ears while doing it. 

Miracle: UNDERSTOOD AKIRA 

Summer: I am so sorry. 

Amour: It is about time your secret came out anyway, Partner Cures. 

Rhythm: ...okay how many people knew about Soul Fracture before this? 

Cosmo: Me 

Amour: I was aware of it. 

Heart: I was. 

Aqua: I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it existed. 

Luminous: Nagisa and Honoka tell me everything. 

Rhythm: Well obviously you know, Hikari. That’s not surprising. 

Rhythm: Anyone else? 

Coral: Instead of asking who knew about it, why don’t you explain what it is and why you aren’t allowed to talk about it? 

Summer: Why was it in the rule book? 

Black: excellent questions all of you 

Grace: Clearly, Nagisa is done screaming at Honoka. 

Black: id love to do what saki did but then hibiki and mirai would have to explain which i would rather not happen 

Black: so im stuck doing the explaining 

Magical: I’d say you could leave it to Kanade and I, Nagisa, but I don’t think you trust us enough to do that. 

Black: its not that i dont trust you 

Black: its just that id rather deal with it myself than leave it to the two who dont know as much about it as me 

Rhythm: Reasonable. 

Rhythm: Plus, you can consult Honoka too so we’ll leave it to you. 

Black: let me grab the book real quick 

Etoile: Aren’t you in a car? Did you pack it? 

Black: yeah 

Black: anyway 

Black: verbatim excerpt from the book: 

Black: “A break in a Cure’s very soul that only occurs when they are separated from their partner for too long.” 

Black: because life isnt hard enough without having to worry about our souls breaking when we’re separated 

Summer: 0-0 

Coral: Regret commences. 

Melody: if it makes you feel any better coral this doesnt actually affect you 

Coral: Thanks, I hate it. 

Coral: It’s official: 

Coral: The only thing keeping me here after I hear about these horrors is Manatsu. 

Black: honestly 

Black: fair 

Beauty: Join the club, Suzumura. 

Coral: Gladly. 

Chapter Text

9:01 pm 

Kurumi created a chat 

Kurumi added Dark Dream and Dark Aqua to the chat 

Kurumi: Be my wingwomen 

Dark Aqua: Excuse me? 

Dark Dream: oh you’re that one 

Kurumi: What? 

Dark Dream: don’t worry about it 

Kurumi: okay… 

Dark Aqua: Why did you message us? 

Kurumi: right 

Kurumi: Im trying to confess to Nozomi and Karen and you’re their reflections so I thought you might be able to help me 

Dark Dream: Oh 

Dark Dream: How fun 

Mana was added to the chat 

Kurumi: WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 

Dark Aqua: Queen of the Poly, the Blue Rose requires your help. 

Mana: OOH 

Mana: IT’S HAPPENING!!! 

Mana: Of course I’ll help! 

Dark Dream: excellent 

Dark Dream: now lets see how we can get this rose to confess to the two butterflies 

Mana named the chat Kurumi’s Action Squad 

Dark Dream’s name was changed to Yume 

Dark Aqua’s name was changed to Mizu 

Mizu: I don’t hate it. 

Yume: i also don’t hate it 

Mana: Now we can plan. 

Private Message - Komachi, Minori 

9:21 pm 

Minori: Hello, Akimoto. My name is Minori Ichinose. I am unsure if you remember me, but we met at last year's writers get-together between a few schools. 

Minori: I would like to ask if you are in contact with any Precure, as you are in a city that was once saved by them. 

Minori: If yes, please send me their contact information, for I have something important to inquire. 

Komachi: I can get you into contact with them, sure. 

Komachi: I’m not going to ask why you need them, but yeah. 

Komachi: Give me a moment to get everything together. 

Minori: Thank you, Akimoto. 

Komachi: No problem. 

Komachi: By the way, you don’t need to be so formal. 

Private Message - Komachi, Sango 

9:25 pm 

Komachi: So, is your third Cure Minori Ichinose? 

Sango: Yes? Why? 

Komachi: Because she just contacted me asking if I could get her into contact with the Precure. 

Sango: Oh shoot 

Sango: With everything going on, we forgot to add her. 

Sango: I’ll add her. 

Komachi: Thank you. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

9:30 pm 

Papaya was added to the chat 

Coral: I forgot and I’m so sorry. 

Papaya: It is alright. 

Mint: Good. Coral added you. 

Coral: I'm not irresponsible. 

Princess: she’s not Megumi 

Lovely: HEY 

Papaya: I take it the rest of you are the ones who have already saved the world before? 

Black: oh look a new one 

Black: fucking great 

Summer: IT IS GREAT 

Summer: HI MINORI 

Bloom: I- 

Bloom: excuse me while I go scream at the universe. 

Macaron: Interesting 

Lovely: :0 

Lovely: 🐱 ⬇️ 

Dream: Megumi what are you doing 

Fortune: She’s become convinced that if she uses only emojis then Yukari won’t roast her. 

Fortune: I’m waiting for this plan to crash and burn. 

Lovely: 😱

Lovely: 🔮😡 

Fortune: Yes, I am mean. 

Fortune: This is common knowledge. 

Papaya: Is this place normally like this? 

Moonlight: I typically have it muted. 

Moonlight: It’s the only way to keep your sanity intact, really. 

Lovely: 🥺

Moonlight: Megumi, you know that I’m right. 

Macaron: I have to say that I’m disappointed. 

Lovely: 🙃 

Macaron: fail already so that I can roast you again. 

Lovely: 😛 

Honey: Iojna 

Lovely: stpo making fin of me yuko 

Macaron: stpo 

Macaron: fin 

Macaron: Yuko, I owe you a favor now. 

Lovely: AAAAAAAAAA 

Lovely: YUKO HOW COULD YOUU 

Fortune: Nice one, Yuko. 

Princess: 😹 

Lovely: IOJNA 

Lovely: HIMS 

Macaron: Iojna 

Macaron: Hims 

Macaron: I am having far too much fun with this. 

Macaron: Thank you, Yuko 

Honey: glad to assist 

Papaya: How normal are these kinds of occurrences? 

Princess: as often as Megumi can make typos 

Lovely: STOP MAKING FUN OF ME FOR MY TYOPS 

Macaron: Tyops 

Macaron: absolutely never 

Papaya: I see. 

Moonlight: Well, as fun as this is to watch, I have homework I need to complete. 

Marine: I HAVE BEEN SHMMONED 

Marine: Yuri don’t you mean you have a study date with my sister? 

Moonlight: Erika, I will hurt you. 

Marine: do it 

Moonlight: … 

Marine: either thats a “see i knew you wouldnt really hurt me” or an “oh shit shes coming to kill me” 

Marine: i cant tell and that scares me 

Moonlight: Good. 

Our Safe Space 

10:21 pm 

Madoka: I have been around Hikaru too much. 

Akira: What happened, Madoka? 

Madoka: My dad said I couldn’t take another step down the stairs… 

Madoka: So I might have transformed and jumped out the window. 

Yukari: interesting 

Aguri: 😂 

Yuri: You be as chaotic as you need to be, Madoka. 

Madoka: I'm trying not to be chaotic, though. 

Aguri: Sometimes you just have to be chaotic, Madoka. 

Aguri: Like that time when the younglings revolted against the eldests. 

Aguri: Or when Akira and Yuri acted chaotic on main. 

Aguri: Or literally every time Yukari roasts Megumi for her idiocy. 

Welcome to the happiness shop 

10:23 pm 

THIBGY: was i ust insulted? 

Iojna: 1. ust 

Iojna: 2. Probably. 

Adult Supervision: Iona. 

Iojna: Don't tell me not to insult my team leader, Maria. 

Iojna: Let me have this. 

Honey: oh you sad sad creature 

Iojna: I KNOW WHAT I AM 

Iojna: YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT 

THIBGY: so was i insulted or nah? 

Rice: yes 

Rice: i don’t know where but the answer is yes 

THIBGY: oh 

THIBGY: okay! 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

10:25 pm 

Lovely: hey guys guess what?! 

Heart: *Gays 

Heart: Megumi, you of all people should already know to do this. 

Lovely: i know you drilled it into my brain but it istn working anymore 

Macaron: istn 

Lovely: 😭 

Macaron: Never. 

Lovely: anyway I got insulted! 

Ace: How the firetrucks did you know?! 

Lovely: oh it was you agori 

Macaron: agori 

Macaron: … 

Macaron: How could you. 

Lovely: ????? 

Macaron: How dare you misspell the name of my favorite youngling. 

Ace: Love you too, Yukari. 

Papaya: silently writing this conversation down to use in a future novel with minor edits 

Mint: silently writing this conversation down to use in a future novel 

Papaya: :o 

Papaya: Mint 🤝 Papaya 

Mint: Papaya 🤝 Mint  

Dream: good for you Komachi! 

Mint: Ichinose, would you like to talk about novel ideas? 

Papaya: Heck yeah. 

Dream: i love watching Cures make friends with Cures from outside their team! 

Chocolat: Ichika just got returned. 

Whip: WE’RE BACK! 

Parfait: Welcome back, Ichika! 

Custard: yay 

Whip: you dont have to pretend to be excited Himari 

Gelato: If we don’t pretend you’ll be sad so yes we do. 

Whip: :\ 

Whip: youre not wrong 

Chapter Text

Private chat - Akira, Asuka 

8:03 am 

Asuka: Hey, Akira. 

Asuka: I think I might have gotten myself involved in something weird. 

Akira: ...Weird how? 

Asuka: Like, transforming into a magical girl to protect a mermaid from some weird monster weird. 

Akira: I- 

Akira: Excuse my language Asuka, but FUCK 

Asuka: This is bad enough to make you curse? 

Asuka: I... don’t want to quit but if it’s that bad…  

Akira: Don’t quit or the girls younger than you will probably die somehow. 

Asuka: ...I never mentioned that there were others. 

Akira: I know. 

Akira: I need to go scream into the void for a bit. I’ll get back to you in a minute. 

Asuka: Wait, Akira, I am so confused. 

Akira: HI AKIRA’S COUSIN! this is a friend of Akira’s who is currently yelling at your team’s leader for getting you involved! 

Akira: BECAUSE APPARENTLY TWO OF THE RECENTS ARE RELATED TO A FORMER OR A FRIEND OF A FORMER WHICH IS CRAZY 

Asuka: I... am so very confused. How do you know Manatsu? 

Akira: Okay, I screamed into the void for a bit and got my phone back from the kidlets who stole it. 

Akira: Asuka, I need you to answer some very basic questions for me. 

Asuka: Okay? 

Akira: First, Cure name? 

Asuka: I never mentioned anything about it being Precure but Cure Flamingo. 

Akira: Oh light, that makes a second bird Cure. Great. 

Akira: Do me a favor and please don’t join Mai’s bird army. 

Asuka: Who’s what army?! 

Akira: It’ll make sense sooner or later, I promise. 

Akira: Second question: theme color? 

Asuka: Red. 

Akira: You’re with me then. Great. 

Akira: I can help make sure the kidlets don’t drive you crazy. 

Asuka: Wait, what do you mean I’m with you?! 

Akira: Third question: 

Asuka: You never answered my question, Akira. 

Akira: I know. 

Akira: Are there going to be any more members of your team or are you the last? 

Asuka: I... think I’m the last? 

Asuka: Why? 

Akira: That means I can tell the girls to stop being on the lookout, thank light. 

Asuka: Akira, you’re really confusing me. 

Akira: Welcome to the fold, cousin. 

Asuka: What fold? 

Akira: The Precure fold. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

8:09 am 

Chocolat added Flamingo to the chat 

Chocolat: Like I said, welcome to the fold. 

Flamingo: ... 

Flamingo: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?!?!?! 

Summer: ASUKA! HI!!! 

Star: Manatsu did you forget to add your new teammate again? 

Summer: ...maybe  

Star: honestly valid 

Star: i would have forgotten if it wasnt for Lala so i cant judge 

Rose: But I can. 

Rose: So, Manatsu, you fucking pink. 

Summer: Yes? 

Summer: I still don’t quite understand why that’s an insult? 

Dream: because we pinks are typically dumb 

Rose: That’s the understatement of the century. 

Amour: I have a better one. 

Amour: “Nagisa and Honoka like each other.” 

Luminous: PHPGPGPAR{flcweitkyq 

Luminous: @Black @White COMMENT PLEASE 

Luminous: MOMS PLEASE 

Black: I-  

White: I have to say Ruru wins the “understatement of the century” contest. Sorry, Kurumi. 

Rose: Honestly  

Rose: Ruru totally wins and I’m not going to fight this verdict. 

Rose: You two only liking each other is more of an understatement than most of the pinks being dumb. 

Flamingo: I am so confused. 

Papaya: @Flamingo I apologize for getting you involved in this chaos. 

Flamingo: It wasn’t your fault. 

Coral: Yes, let’s put the blame on Manatsu, like always. 

Flamingo: I never said that. 

Summer: Go ahead and blame it on me! 

Summer: It’s fine! 

Peace: YOU WHOLESOME CREATURE 

Summer: YES HELLO AUNTY PEACE?! 

Summer: WHAT ABOUT MY WHOLESOMENESS?! 

Peace: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

Reject Humanity!!! BECOME—

8:13 am 

Season’s name was changed to Wholesome Creature 

Wholesome Creature: Okay! 

Reef: I need you to react with something other than acceptance, Manatsu! Please! 

Wholesome Creature: ? 

Wholesome Creature: Okay? 

Wholesome Creature: oh no my name changed whatever shall i do 

Wholesome Creature: Did I do it right? 

Reef: ...That’s the best I’m going to get, isn’t it? 

Papaya: Oh my gosh. 

Birb: What even is happening anymore? 

Birb: I am just… 

Birb: so confused. 

Papaya: Reasonable. 

Reef: The only one not constantly confused is Manatsu. 

Wholesome Creature: No, I’m just as confused as the rest of you. 

Wholesome Creature: I just go with it. 

Papaya: Smart. 

Birb: I can’t even- 

Our Safe Space 

Akira added Asuka 

Akira: You're going to need this, cousin. 

Asuka: … 

Asuka: I think I already do. 

Aguri: The new team must be more chaotic than they let on then. 

Yukari: interesting 

Yuri: One of these days, I’m going to accidentally read Asuka as Akira or Aguri, I swear. 

Akira: Does that mean you want nicknames here? 

Yuri: Possibly. 

Madoka’s name was changed to Stairs? I have a window 

Stairs? I have a window: I’m fine with having nicknames here. 

Aguri: Madoka. 

Stairs? I have a window: Should I change it back? 

Aguri: I love you. 

Aguri’s name was changed to 0to10in1 

0to10in1: Summon the nicknames and let’s go! 

Akira’s name was changed to Woofer 

Yukari’s name was changed to Currently Lurking 

Asuka’s name was changed to FlaminGO 

FlaminGO: Wasn’t this supposed to be safe from chaos? 

Woofer: It still is? 

Woofer: Kinda. 

Yuri: At least all your names make sense, unlike in certain other chats. 

0to10in1: Oh yeah, that chat. 

FlaminGO: Do I want to know? 

Yuri: No. 

Woofer: Absolutely not. 

Currently Lurking: NO 

0to10in1: N E V E R 

Stairs? I have a window: That chat was so cursed, I can’t even- 

FlaminGO: Okay. 

FlaminGO: I’m worried, but okay. 

Stairs? I have a window: Honestly? That’s a reasonable response. 

9:25 am 

Nagisa created a chat 

Nagisa named the chat “Don’t tell Honoka” 

Nagisa added Hikari, Shiho, Rina, Yuriko 

Nagisa: help me 

Shiho: what are we helping with? 

Yuriko: Probably Honoka’s birthday party, correct? 

Nagisa: yes 

Hikari: Shouldn’t we add an actual party planner? 

Nagisa: ...i mean i guess we could 

Shiho: you know an actual party planner? 

Nagisa: possibly 

Nagisa: give me a sec 

Nagisa added Mana 

Nagisa: youve planned a birthday party before help us 

Mana: I’m dealing with something else right now, but I’ll do what I can! 

Hikari: Is it the wolves? 

Mana: It’s Kurumi. 

Hikari: OH 

Nagisa: its finally going to happen? 

Mana: As soon as we get it all set up and if she doesn’t back out, yes. 

Nagisa: YES 

Yuriko: and this place has already gone off the rails. 

Yuriko: great. 

Mana: Sorry! Sorry! 

Mana: What do you need me to do, Nagisa? 

Nagisa: help 

Mana: Okay! 

Rina: There’s no way that’s enough information! 

Mana: As the trusted one, I’ll do my best! 

Nagisa: thanks mana youre the best 

Mana: Don’t let the other hear you say that. 

Nagisa: they know what i think 

Nagisa: ANYWAY 

Nagisa: we have two smart people in this chat three average and one idiot 

Hikari: Hello yes I speak fluent average 

Nagisa: exactly 

Nagisa: so lets start planning this so we can give Honoka the best birthday party ever! 

Private Chat - Honoka, Mana 

9:40 am 

Mana: Your girlfriend really loves you. 

Honoka: Yes? 

Mana: That is all. 

Honoka: Okay? 

Honoka: I’m just not going to ask what brought that on. 

Mana: Good idea. 

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

3:07 pm 

Black: if anyone needs me im celebrating Honoka’s birthday so just dont 

Dream: 👍 

Dream: have my own stuff to deal with so thats fine! 

Aqua: Tell Honoka I said happy birthday. 

Black: will do 

Summer: :O 

Family of the Lightning 

3:10 pm 

TROPICALIZE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAM WHITE!!! 

Muggleborn: Oh crap Honoka’s birthday is today?! 

Doctor: It was actually the 4th. She was with her parents though, so we couldn’t celebrate. 

Muggleborn: THAT MAKES IT WORSE 

Muggleborn: THAT MEANS IM ONE DAY LATE

Moosical: AAAAAAAAAAA 

Moosical: quick someone find me the happy birthday song for the piano 

Hugs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

Doctor: Why is everyone panicking? 

Doctor: Did you all forget Honoka’s birthday? 

Hugs: I MIGHT HAVE 

Muggleborn: SOMEONE HELP ME CONVINCE RIKO TO TRACK DOWN A DRAGON 

Lightning Rod Jr: why a dragon? 

Muggleborn: Because dragon scales can be used in alchemy and Honoka likes chemistry so I thought she’d probably like alchemy too 

Lightning Rod Jr: ooh 

Lightning Rod Jr: that actually makes a lot of sense! 

Muggleborn: Does that mean you’ll help me convince Riko? 

Lightning Rod Jr: sure! 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: Is this fine? 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: [attachment: 1 image] 

Wabbit: YOU GOT HONOKA A ALIEN CHEMESTRY SET?!?!?!?! 

Lightning Rod Jr Jr: I’ll take that as a yes 

Wabbit: YOU BET ITS A YES 

Wabbit: NOW I NEED TO THINK OF SOMEING 

Lumi: Ichika, did you just completely forget about the “thing” part of “something”? 

Wabbit: IT APPEARS SO 

Wabbit: IMMA GO ASK CIEL IF SHE HAS ANY IDEAS 

Lumi: @Moosical I found it, by the way 

Lumi: [attachment: 1 image] 

Moosical: HIKARI YOURE A FUCKING LIFE SAVER 

Lumi: Usually am  

Kurumi’s Action Squad 

4:59 pm 

Mana: We ready? 

Yume: in position with the confetti 

Mizu: In position with the panic cards. 

Mana: Perfect. 

Mana: @Kurumi you’re good to go. 

Mana: Good luck. 

Kurumi: Thanks guys 

Kurumi: Can’t imagine what I’d do without you. 

Yume: keep pining over our reflections until the end of time if i had to guess 

Mizu: Yume, now is not the time. 

Yume: 😜 

Mizu: Yume, I’m serious. 

Yume: yea okay 

LXIV BFLWK 

5:26 

Merchant of Tennis: I FAILED AND I AM NOT OKAY 

Don’t feed after midnight: kurumi? 

Don’t get wet: what happened? 

Merchant of Tennis: I. F A I L E D. 

Merchant of Tennis: I AM A COWARD 

Don’t feed after midnight: nah youre fine 

Don’t get wet: im assuming this is something crush related so: 

Don’t get wet: no one is good at taking to their crush 

Don’t get wet: and you have it even worse because you have two 

Merchant of Tennis: I guess… 

Glitter H: Kurumi, you tried your best and that’s all we can ask for. 

Glitter H: We’ll try again when you’re feeling more up to it. 

Merchant of Tennis: …  

Bean: stole the phone so i can comment: exactly. 

Bean: no one is expecting you to succeed on your first try 

Bean: you’re trying and that’s what matters 

H2O2: Precisely. 

Don’t feed after midnight: gonna pretend the fact that theres basically two nozomis and two karens isnt weird 

Bean: you’re literally named after a tiny evil puffball 

Bean: you can’t say anything  

Don’t feed after midnight: that’s fair 

Don’t get wet: neither of them come in here anyway so this is a pretty safe spot to talk about Kurumi’s feelings anyway 

Yes! Precure 5 (and Rose) 

5:41 pm 

Half a butter bean: am i being talked about? 

Half a butter bean: because i feel like im being talked about 

SHE MEMES: Most likely. 

SHE MEMES: But I'm sure it’s nothing, Nozomi. Don’t worry about it. 

Half a butter bean: okay! 

Private chat - Urara, Karen 

Urara: You’re ignoring it even though you know. 

Karen: I’m just giving her time to figure it out on her own. 

Urara: Huh 

Urara: okay then 

LXIV BFLWK 

6:30 pm

Doesn’t fit through bars: Because no one is answering me anywhere else I’ve come here, my last resort. 

Doesn’t fit through bars: Can anyone tell me why my moms are out tracking down a dragon? 

Don’t feed after midnight: no clue 

Don’t feed after midnight: but Nodoka’s been known to pop in from time to time to keep track of Hinata so maybe try @ ing her 

Doesn’t fit through bars: hmm 

Doesn’t fit through bars: @S i c k do you know? 

S i c k: Mirai said she forgot about Honoka’s birthday so she’s tracking down a dragon to complete the alchemy set she’s getting her. 

Doesn’t fit through bars: ooohhh 

Doesn’t fit through bars: Thanks Nodoka! 

Laura’s pawn: WHAT IS THIS TROPICAL PLACE?! 

Overprotective mom: MANATSU NO 

Gorilla: MANATSU?! MY CHILD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! 

Overprotective mom: WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO GET HER OUT OF HERE?! 

⅓: Asuka we literally told you to stay away from here. 

Overprotective mom: THEYRE CORRUPTING MY KID 

Private chat: Hibiki, Asuka 

6:42 pm 

Hibiki: so i guess we’re sharing custody over Manatsu now 

Asuka: I guess we are. 

Hibiki: cooleo. 

Our Safe Space 

6:44 pm 

0to10in1: @FlaminGO We literally told you to stay out of LXIV BFLWK. 

FlaminGO: They were going to corrupt Manatsu. 

Yuri: As noble a goal you had going in, you need to stay as far away as possible from that chat. 

FlaminGO: They were corrupting my child! 

Woofer: We know the feeling. 

Currently Lurking: Everyone here sans Aguri has lost a child to the chaos of LXIV BFLWK. 

0to1in10: I’ve lost parental figures to LXIV BFLWK. 

0to10in1: Which is honestly kind of impressive considering they’re all remarkably non-chaotic. 

Stairs? I have a window: We lost Hikaru to that monstrosity shortly after I was added. 

Stairs? I have a window: And then we obviously lost Yuni. 

FlaminGO: So you’re saying I should just give up and let the inevitable happen? 

Woofer: You can keep trying, but you might go a bit crazy doing so. 

Yuri: Pretty much my entire team is there and I’ve given up, but go ahead and try. 

Yuri: Maybe you can prove that we can save our teams from the chaos. 

FlaminGO: I’m going to then. 

Private Chat - Asuka, Manatsu 

6:53 pm 

Asuka: Manatsu, do me a favor and please never click into LXIV BFLWK again. 

Manatsu: What’s so bad about it? 

Manatsu: Erika told me it was a really tropical place! 

Asuka: … 

Asuka: Excuse me for a moment. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

6:55 pm 

Flamingo: @Blossom @Sunshine @Moonlight I’m killing your blue. 

Sunshine: Okay. 

Moonlight: I’ll tell Momoka to get the funeral plans ready. 

Blossom: What did she do this time? 

Flamingo: She told my child that the cursed chat was “tropical”. 

Moonlight: Yeah, I’m definitely getting the funeral plans. I’m not going to be the one to stop you, Asuka. 

Blossom: Cursed chat? 

Flamingo: LXIV BFLWK. 

Melody: wait 

Melody: ITS ERIKAS FAULT?!?!!?!!? 

Melody: ERIKA YOURE SO FUCKING DEAD 

Flamingo: We can kill her together for daring to try to corrupt our child. 

Melody: LETS DO IT 

Private Chat - Erika, Hime 

7:00 pm 

Erika: since im definitely going to die i leave all my sewing equipment to you 

Hime: noice 

Private Chat - Tsubomi, Erika 

7:01 pm 

Tsubomi: Hibiki and Asuka have teamed up to kill you. 

Erika: i know 

Erika: i crossed a boundary i shouldnt have 

Erika: note to self: dont touch manatsu if you want to live 

Chapter Text

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

2:01 am 

Happy: does anyone know where Akane is? 

Happy: i hear explosions and shes missing and I don’t think that’s a coincidence 

Rose: She’s fine 

Rose: She’s with Rin 

Rose: They’re burning things 

Happy: that doesn’t make me feel any better 

Chocolat: Kurumi, please get some rest. 

Rose: You aren’t my mom so no 

Dream: Kurumi please go to bed! 

Rose: … 

Rose: fine 

Marine: W- 

Melody: erika do you really want to give us more reasons to kill you 

Marine: … 

Marine: no 

Melody: then dont say it because we all know kurumi will kill you if you do 

Marine: 0-0 

Marine: im gonna shut up now 

Rose: Smart 

Melody: smart 

Flamingo: Smart. 

LXIV BFLWK 

2:11 am 

Merchant of Tennis: Ive literally started listening to everything Nozomi says help  

Glitter H: Maybe that'll make it easier to admit it later. 

Merchant of Tennis: I’ve already admitted it 

Merchant of Tennis: I need to confess  

Don’t get wet: how has this chat turned into Kurumi’s Pity Party? 

Merchant of Tennis: It just has  

Don’t feed after midnight: let her have a pity party 

Don’t get wet: I wasn’t complaining just asking 

Glitter H: We can plan another thing when you feel ready, so take your time. 

Earth’s Eternal Protectors 

5:31 am 

Summer: GUYS 

Heart: You’re new, so I won’t get on you about this too much, but try to say “gays” instead of “guys” for me. 

Summer: OKAY! 

Summer: HEY GAYS GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT I CAN DO 

Heart: Very good, little wholesome. 

Marine: what can you do manatsu 

Summer: I CAN RUN ON WATER 

Berry: gasp 

Passion: MIKI 

Passion: DON’T YOU DARE 

Berry: MANATSU IS THE NEW JESUS 

Berry: @Melody @Flamingo did you know that your daughter is Jesus? 

Melody: i thought she was too good for this world 

Flamingo: Yes. 

Melody: that would explain why 

Passion: STOP HUMORING HER 

Passion: MIKI I’M SERIOUS 

Pine: I 

Pine: GIVE

Pine: UP 

Pine: GOODBYE 

Blossom: No idea what just happened but I guess that means:

Blossom: Good morning to everyone but Miki. 

Berry: thats fair 

Marine: ALL HAIL MANATSU, SAVIOR OF THE WORLD 

Passion: MARINE I WILL TELEPORT YOU INTO THE SUN IF YOU DON'T STOP 

Marine: GO AHEAD 

Marine: IM NOT SCARED OF YOU 

Peach: Setsuna please dont kill Erika 

Peach: Erika please dont ruin Inori’s day by doing this 

Peach: Miki that part goes for you too 

Berry: alright alright I’m done 

Black: what the actual fuck happened here 

Passion: Nagisa, I am requesting permission to teleport Erika to the sun and strand her there. 

Black: you know 

Black: im tempted to grant it 

Peach: NAGISA NO 

Bloom: oh my god 

Felice: OH 

Marine: nagisa i understand that i deserve it 

Marine: but 

Blossom: Is Erika’s murder being plotted again? 

Marine: TSUBOMI 

Heart: Objectively, Erika is useful for area attacks. Getting rid of her via the sun is not the best idea if we look at it from a tactical perspective. 

Marine: mana i know youre helping me but that sounds really mean somehow 

Heart: It’s because I’m talking about your use in battle rather than your use as a person. 

Marine: yeah thats it 

Passion: Fine.  

Passion: Erika can live another day. 

Passion: For now. 

Summer: DID I JUST CAUSE SOMEONE TO ALMOST DIE?????? 

Summer: @Rosetta I would like to be arrested. 

Rosetta: 1) Why do you think I can do that? 

Rosetta: 2) No. 

Summer: BUT 

Rosetta: No. 

Flamingo: Manatsu, you’re not going to jail. 

Melody: my daughter is not going to jail 

Melody: i will not let her 

Summer: :\ 

Resident Rich Kids 

7:04 am 

I would like to speak to the manager: I feel like I’m the least popular one of us. 

Pay me in doughnuts: What would make you say that? 

I would like to speak to the manager: Because no one ever asks me whenever they need rich kid help. 

Batman but better: Well, I think that’s because you make it feel like you’d reject anything they ask. 

The Child: THIS IS TRUE 

The Child: MADOKA HAS THE FACT THAT SHE HAS COMMITTED CRIMES IN ANOTHER GALAXY AND HER HIDDEN CHAOS HELPING OTHERS TO GO TO HER 

Pay me in doughnuts: Emiru, I swear- 

The Child: HONOKA IS CALM AS ALL HECK AND WILL NOT JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR ASK 

Subtlety is Key: This is true. 

Subtlety is Key: I might judge you silently, though. 

The Child: ALICE IS BASICALLY BATMAN 

The Child: I DONT THINK I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY PEOPLE GO TO HER 

The Child: HIBIKI IS CHAOTIC LIKE THEM 

The Lone Pink: wait whats happening 

The Lone Pink: why am i involved 

Pay me in doughnuts: Don’t worry about it, Hibiki. 

LXIV BFLWK 

7:24 am 

H2O2: If you needed rich kid help, who would you ask? 

Don’t get wet: holy fuck Karen actually came in here of her own will 

Merchant of Tennis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

H2O2: Please just answer the question. 

Don’t feed after midnight: probably alice 

Don’t get wet: yeah probably alice 

Nope do not want: Minami or Alice 

Cecret Cylon: Emiru. 

Knight in Shining Armor: MINAMI DEFINITELY MINAMI 

Knight in Shining Armor: BECAUSE MINAMI IS AWESOME AND AMAZING AND I LOVE HER 

Nope do not want: Haruharu… 

H2O2: I see. 

H2O2: Thank you for answering. 

Lonely Flower: That was a trap and you all just fell for it. 

Don’t feed after midnight: oh shit 

Resident Rich Kids 

7:31 am