Work Text:
There was a point in time where Dream appreciated his face and all the good things on it. Where he could find and see all the parts of his face unique to him.
There was a point in time. It would be ever wishful to think otherwise.
Dream didn’t really like his face all that much now. And so, he always made sure that no one would need to see or know the mess that it was. That he was.
He always had the mask. He’d forgotten when he started wearing the TV on top as a head though. Maybe it was better off that way.
(but maybe he was lying to himself but he might not ever know-)
-||---||-
It was quite late, before they would blow up L’manburg.
Dream was having a small preparation spar with Techno. He wanted to make sure that he could fully prepare for doomsday. He was still using his mask, of course. The TV was usually never on around Techno, since he could trust him. Dream would make it a rule of the universe to never take the mask off around other people, if he ever had a chance.
(the universe was never and would never be nice to anyone though he’d already known so very long ago-)
It was… funny.
He had only lost his concentration for a second. He stopped concentrating on what he was hearing, what he was processing, only for a simple, miniscule second.
Now, to so many people, it would be just… a simple, careless mistake made during a practice. Nothing more, nothing less. It would be the case, even to him, if it wasn’t so damning. It was, to be honest, one of the worst mistakes he’d made during any kind of spar or fight. The funniest part of it? He’d done it before.
It had only taken one single snippet in a moment of the spar for him to lose track of Techno and his footsteps, for him to fall over Techno’s feet when moving forward, for his old mask to crack through the middle and break. Fortunately, it only split into 2 uneven pieces and nothing less. Dream quickly covered his face with his shield, cowering behind the only layer of protection between his face and Techno’s sharp gaze, but not quick enough for Techno to not have noticed the various scars from a certain incident that he knew would reside on his face as a reminder forever.
Techno widened his eyes slightly, but other than that seemed relatively tame. After a few seconds of tense silence, he questioned.
“So. You’re blind?”
He started panicking. He never wanted anyone to know about it. He’d been so good at hiding it too! He had enchanted his mask a second time, he really should’ve checked how much durability it had left, he should have. He tried repressing memories that came back to him, and it worked, but a voice deep in his head had come out again and started repeating the horrid whispers that would tell him of the fact that only he was and should be the person he could trust his feelings, his soul and his body to, and that other people would always lie to him and leave him to rot like the many others who had done such things before. Dream had started to whimper unconsciously, his shield shaking between unstable fingers all the while hiding a man (not a man a boy who had been simply forced to grow up and endure-) anticipating what he knew the other would never do, yet was anxious and so very frightened all the same.
(please don’t hit him he was being so good and was doing so well it was just an accident please-)
“Hey. You’re good. I dunno, but you’re doing well for a blind and homeless man.”
Dream looked towards Technoblade’s direction. He had heard a small snicker in the last sentence and was ultimately astounded. Had he heard him correctly? He didn’t understand… whatever this was.
“If you think I’m gonna mock a guy who can rival my level of skill, even with being blind, then you’re sorely mistaken,” he scoffed. “You’ve clearly earned it. You’re a moron if you think otherwise.”
Dream could hear the smile and smugness in his voice. His nervousness now quickly hidden and replaced with a mask of semi-false confidence, he quickly scratched the back of his head and awkwardly said “Oh… I’m just… used to it.”
Techno chuckled. “You should repair that mask of yours. D’you need help getting the pieces?”
Dream nodded, still processing the fact that he had not only brushed the fact off, but had accepted it and did not renounce their friendly rivalry. He never expected him to hit, of course, but he was still at least a bit anxious. It was seldom now, that people found out he was blind, but when it was quite common, it was, to say the least, horrible. Nobody was willing to train or help him, and he was mocked when he tripped over objects he couldn’t see or sense before impact, when he bumped into furniture that the other kids had moved just to see him try and find his way around it. It was irritating, but most importantly degrading. Not even his parents were so kind, considerably the worst of the bunch, and the scars on his face and his disability proved that fact so very true. He had nearly no one in the village who would help him other than XD. His older brother was always understanding, always caring, and never looked away from his problems.
(he wondered where he was now he still craved the warmth and comfort his presence gave him-)
Dream shook his head. He had been daydreaming again.
(of course he had been, he was nothing but a burden to carry and an unimportant weight on everyone’s shoulders, unworthy of love and so very lucky to be given his attention and care and kindness-)
He quickly ran up to the source of fading footsteps (‘Technoblade of course,’ his brain supplied). Techno went up the stairs while Dream followed suit, hands less tense and shaky, shield lowered down a bit more after the confrontation. What he didn’t remember, realize or notice was that Philza was also in the house, sitting down on one of the armchairs. Too bad he didn’t notice. Too bad he had made the same mistake. Too. Bad.
(-his ears had become filled with white noise and his thoughts static as he hit the ground cold, a result of not having noticed the angry and disappointed who had been quietly sitting in the room, waiting for the time to knock the boy down and finally deprive him of a sense he had valued greatly, something essential to his life’s joy and his own self-worth.)
-||---||-
Phil had heard the 2 boys sparring. They were friendly rivals, but still close friends. They had been out there for quite some time. He was becoming worried. Just a few more minutes, he told himself. If they don’t come back in for dinner or at least a bit of supper, then I’ll call them in.
…
…
…
It had now been officially 20 minutes, and his patience had since worn out, replaced with a bit more worry than before. He had started moving when he heard the signature thumping of Technoblade and Dream going up the stairs and towards the door. He quickly let out a sigh of relief and sank back into the couch. He saw 2 very surprising things the moment Techno and Dream entered the room. One was that Techno was holding what looked to be Dream’s signature mask broken into 2 pieces, and knew from that alone that Dream was most definitely not wearing any sort of protection from his face. What he did notice was that he was holding up a shield in front of him, effectively blocking his face out from his own line of sight. Just in case though, he looked away and asked.
“Hey, Techno, Dream, if you’re done with your sparring session, do you want to change? If not, then I can leave the room so you can put on your TV. I’ve got some pumpkin pie in the oven, and some steak too.”
Right in the middle of him saying that, he saw Dream tense and suck in a sharp breath, but as he went on he slowly sank and breathed out a heavy sigh of what sounded to be relief. Techno simply nodded, but quietly whispered to Dream something. He tensed a bit more, but quickly shrugged it off and did something Phil had thought he’d never do.
He slowly let down his shield and exposed his face. It was littered with aged scars that didn’t seem to be fading soon, but what caught Phil’s attention were the eyes of the boy in front of him. What he guessed would have been bright emerald green eyes were covered by a white film, effectively meaning one thing.
Dream, the boy who’d caused so much chaos and had the ability to rival Techno with no fear of losing, was blind in, not a single one, but in both of his eyes.
Philza, somehow maintaining his composure and fighting his fatherly urge to care for the young adult, calmly said, “Well, okay. That was surprising, but it’s alright. You’re blind. That’s alright to me. Nothing wrong about being blind.”
His eyes widened and he turned to where Techno was standing, and then to his voice. He then meekly replied, “You’re- You’re okay with me being blind too?” as if he had never seen such reactions to his disability all his life.
He chuckled lightly and responded, “Meh. I don’t mind. If you need help, mate, don’t be afraid to ask for it. It’s pretty cool that you can do so well without needing to see.”
Dream’s face brightened considerably. Techno quipped a ‘told you so’ towards him and he sparkled. They all laughed that day. He was surprised that Dream had even trusted him with this precious info, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to keep it a secret for as long as he decided that he wasn’t going to be public about his disability.
-||---||-
He didn’t know how long he’d been in there by now. A few months, maybe? He could be over exaggerating and it would really be just a week or two. The clock on the other wall did not help, but it was the one thing he allowed him to keep. Most of what he remembered were blurry memories by now, other than the incident which he would never be able to erase from his memory, the time his privacy was stripped from his hands.
(He had given up. He knew he lost the game. But he just couldn’t afford to burn and lose the last few layers of privacy he had left.
“Throw the TV into the pit, Dream. Do it. Right now.”
He had no other choice. He made quick work of feeling through the exterior and undoing the clasps that held together the TV, then adjusting the headphones and wiring off his head, all off of the hours he spent into memorizing each and every step and mechanism of it. It took him a painful minute, but the inner and outer workings of the contraption were taken care of. He hesitated for a moment, feeling the smooth exterior and interior workings of the TV for the last time and ultimately throwing the contraption he and Sam spent treasured hours on into the pit. He felt like crying, but he knew that having such attachments with objects does no good. Night had taught it to him, and he trusted him with his decisions. The big decisions he made had always made him hurt even more.
What Tommy had said next had absolutely shattered his privacy and resolve, until there was nearly nothing left.
“You know what Dream? I said everything. Throw in the mask too.”
He had no other option anymore. He had no other layer of protection on which he could rely to protect him from the prying and unforgiving eyes of the crowd. He sighed and slowly undid the soft yet strong clasps that held the mask together. With a tiredness he had not experienced since his childhood, he threw the mask into the pit, small gasps sounding as they laid their eyes on his green ones, covered by a milky white film.
“PFFT- The green son of a bitch is fucking blind! Who woulda knew!” Quackity cackled.
Tommy nervously laughed with him. He never knew how much he really depended on those 2 layers of protection and privacy until then.)
Night had checked up on him at the start. He sang good praises into his mind, and told him that as long as he kept following his lead, he’d always be with him. He loved Night’s praise. He’d follow him wherever he needed him.
Recently, Sam had taken away his clock privileges. He couldn’t hear much other than the bubbling of lava anymore. He liked the clock. It ticked, and so he had something else to listen to. He had thrown it into the lava a lot lately. Every time Sam checked up on him, he’d replace his clock. Sam thought it was stupid, but it made him talk, so that was a win! This time though, Sam told him that he couldn’t have it. He didn’t really understand why. He tried to go swim through the lava a few times, but Sam raised the netherite.
…
Night had not been around lately. He wasn’t checking up on Dream anymore. He wasn’t there to tell him he was doing a very good job or to tell him what he should do. He didn’t know how long he’d been in this prison, nor did he know how many times he died. Neither would Sam, honestly. He’d died so many times in this cell. The warmth of the lava sometimes was a substitute for a warm embrace. He didn’t know what to do now that the barrier was put up, his clock was gone and the homework Tommy gave him was burnt in the lava.
(he was utterly convinced that no one cared anymore. it was undeniable. he did everything night wanted and yet he was thrown aside. no one wanted him anymore, and the friends he trusted didn’t seem to care that he was ever gone. where was XD, he wanted to feel the affectionate hugs that his older brother had always given him-)
He ultimately went back to seeing how long he could hold his breath underwater again. He wouldn’t know what to do if they took everything in his cell away again… he just doesn’t want to not be able to have any kind of human interaction. He knew he had done everything wrong and deserved it, and shouldn’t even be allowed to have anything, but they were being so kind and he’d treasure it for as long as he could. He didn’t deserve what they were giving him and shouldn’t be given it. He had been too weak and gave in to their wishes, and so he shouldn’t be allowed any more comfort than what he was already given.
(the last time he had been deprived of the things in his cell and blocked from having any visitors for a while, he had bashed his head along the walls of the cell multiple times. it hurt, but if it meant he knew that he was still alive and could still have visitors, then he would wait.)
-||---||-
XD was a relatively calm man of 24. He was the older brother of another, younger boy who had grown up too quickly and endured more than he should have at that age. He treasured him, and would do so many things to help him with what he needed and what terrible things he would ever go through.
Today, he finally finished his job at a very busy server as an admin moderator and a therapist. He promised himself that he would visit his younger brother and finally catch up with him, maybe even stir up nostalgic memories and eat the mushroom stew he always made for the both of them. He remembered when he was told that his brother had created his own server for friends and family. He was so proud yet so worried for him that day, and still was. He went through the servers he was welcomed to in his communicator and finally found the server he was looking for, the server his brother set up : the DreamSMP.
As he set up the server portal and stepped through, a message rung through everyone’s communicators, though not everyone had the ability to see it :
DreamXD has joined the server.
Shock and confusion spread like wildfire around the citizens of the server. ‘Of course, they hadn’t known that Dream had an older brother, with how secretive and private he was with his past’, XD thought. He was granted his usual mode and power, custom Creative and Moderator privileges. His brother still knew him so well.
As he floated outside the world spawn point, people gathered around, all with either looks of anger, shock, confusion or combinations of those emotions. He looked around the crowd, yet didn’t see even a smidge of the bright lime green that he would usually wear at any given time of daylight.
“Who the hell are you?! What are you doing here?!” a man in a navy blue beanie yelled.
“I’m XD. I’m currently looking for a man who goes by Dream, wears an obnoxiously bright lime hoodie and dons a similar mask to mine, but has a depiction of a smiley face instead of the initials I have on mine. I know for a fact that he’s on this server currently, as the player list doesn’t lie. He isn’t here, so do you know where he might be?” he asked in a cheery tone, quite enthusiastic to see his brother whom he had not seen in a few years.
Many of the people in the crowd physically cringed at the sentence, but a blonde teen wearing a red and white shirt shouted, “If you’re talking about the green bitch, then the shithead’s in prison. What’s it to you?!”
XD was confused. It wasn’t uncommon for servers to have baby jails for any players breaking the rules, but this was a bit unusual. It was a whitelist-only server, and he knew that no one would be allowed in unless they were approved of by Dream. And so he quipped, “Well, what’s he in there for? I also want to visit him, if I can.”
They all started talking over each other about what wrong Dream had done to them and others. They weren’t telling him where he could visit Dream, so he quietly slipped through the crowd and typed in the /tp command, disappearing in a small puff of smoke.
He expected there to be a small rack of books, a small bed and other little trinkets and pieces of simple furniture that would make it livable, but he was so, oh so wrong.
Encased in a near-empty obsidian cell and overrun by the heat of a sheet of lava glowing small amounts of light into it, yet unreachable by the blocks of netherite acting as a barrier, was his family, blood and precious younger brother. Dream was in one of the worst conditions he had ever known him to be in. He was slumped up against the wall opposite to the netherite barrier, his arms were scarred and marred with blood that looked fresh, his body trembling in small shocks and so pale and malnourished, but the worst part was his face, maskless and exposed to the world, his glazed eyes unfocused and empty.
He had vowed to protect him from this kind of emptiness. He had vowed to not let this happen to Dream ever again. Yet he failed, and promised once more, picking up and whispering soothing words to the man who lay mostly unresponsive and empty in his hands, that he would protect him, no matter what. Finally, he heard a whisper in his ear that shattered his heart even more and strengthened his resolve.
“... leave me... I deserve to be here... they hate me... Night hates me... please...”
He became enraged as he heard the name Night. The dreamon had been plaguing Dream ever since they ran away from the village that held so many of their bad memories, and had the nerve to pull the same thing that they did to him before, manipulating him into doing everything it said before leaving him to rot. He would make one thing for sure. That the man, no, boy who had consequently found his own empty solace in this darkness would get at least a chance at redemption, a chance at getting better and building himself back up the right way. He’d also make sure to help the people of this server, as he could simply sense the amounts of trauma all of them had built up. But as always, his brother would take his first priority. He took note of the world’s spawn point, along with the prison cell’s coordinates, and typed in a random set or coords to /tp to. He didn’t want to risk his brother even more.
They landed in tundra biome. He quickly wrapped his cape around him and went searching for a good place to shelter and heal him. As he walked onwards, he found a cabin without a village. A player-made structure. Someone who could help him with his brother. This time, he was lucky enough to stumble across people who’d help Dream.
-||---||-
It had been a while since Dream and him had sparred together or even met up. He twirled The last time they did was during doomsday. It was... worrying to say the least. He might private-message him soon. As soon as that train of thought started, thumping could be heard and a few hurried knocks sounded on the front door. He went to open the door, and saw something he’d never seen nor expected before.
Right there in front of him was a man in blue and white robes, wearing a mask similar to Dream’s but with the capitalized letters ‘XD’, carrying Dream himself, maskless, pale and malnourished, wrapped in what looks to be the man’s cape.
Techno hesitated for a second before asking, “Hey, d’you-”
The man cut him off and hurriedly said, “Are you a friend or ally of Dream’s?”
“Yeah, what’s it to you?”
He sighed in relief, but was still very tense. “Please, just please, help me. I need to get him healed up, but I need somewhere where he won’t be targeted by mobs and has even more of a risk. I’ll explain later, but I need some help with him.”
He didn’t need much of an explanation yet; with how bad Dream looked and how worried the stranger was for him, it was safe to say that Dream was in a bad, bad spot. He let them in, yelling, “PHIL?! We have a sorta emergency concerning my sparring friend! Can ya help me?!”
Phil entered the room, took a glance at Dream and immediately muttered a ‘jeeze, what the fuck’ before picking Dream up and placing him on the couch.
This would be a long day.
-||---||-
...Where was he? This- This wasn’t the obsidian flooring. It was way too soft to be obsidian at all. It wasn’t suffocatingly warm, like the prison cell. It was a nice kind of warmth, like that of when you’re by the fireplace and drinking hot cocoa. His body felt wrapped, bandaged even, and there was something draped over his body. It felt nice, like something he had once felt before, like happy memories. What was that word again? Ah, nostalgic. He distinctly remembered someone picking him up and whispering into his ears, carrying him gently and talking to him softly. Then he remembers being cold right after, but nothing else, which meant he must have passed out.
(why was he even where he was anyways..?)
(he thought no one cared for him anymore. didn’t they..?)
He started gaining more attention towards his surroundings. He could hear the crackling and ambience of a fireplace, the sound of cooking, more specifically a fire being lit and a liquid being stirred. It smelled of... mushroom stew, or something close to it.
(it smelled like home how he wished he could run back into his brother’s arms and hug him and finally have someone to understand him-)
He started getting up and shuffled in place, ignoring the dull aching of his body, trying to make out relatively which sides he can support himself on, and immediately heard someone call out something, but he didn't pay attention to whose voice it may be and continued trying to get up. He suddenly heard around 3 voices at once, but he zoned in on a specific voice, the sound of someone who he would always keep dear to his heart.
“Heya, Dream. You might be a bit stiff and most likely very sore, so it’ll be better if I help you move. Would you mind?”
He knew who this was. Completely ignoring the sting that hits him, he turned to the source of the voice and started tearing up, voice cracking slightly and eyes watering.
“XD..?”
He chuckled and responded, “Mhm. The one and only. I’m sorry I haven’t visited, hope that you haven’t missed me too much.”
Dream threw himself into XD’s arms, who chuckled once more and returned the gesture of desperate affection. They wrapped their arms around each other, and finally he sobbed into the soft clothes of his older brother, muttering incoherent words between bated breaths, hiccups and sniffles as XD comforted him, rubbing circles along his back and telling him that he was alright, that he was safe and promised him that he would never be going in that damned prison again, would never be going through the same isolation he had gone through in his younger years ever again. They both knew that they now had each other, and they weren’t going to let go any time soon. XD even promised him that everyone, including him, would get the help and therapy they so desperately needed and deserved. He nodded, happy that his friends would finally get what they should have gotten such a long time ago.
As XD shuffled, trying to pry himself from Dream’s surprisingly strong grip, he heard another voice in the room, and he immediately knew where he was.
“Hey, mate. If you want, XD was cooking mushroom stew, and you could join us if you feel hungry. Just saying, if you need help navigating I can help you get to the dining room.”
He was in Techno and Phil’s retirement home, of course. He nodded eagerly, finally letting XD go, who promptly ran to the kitchen, muttering something about making sure the stew was alright. He held out his hand, Phil holding his as he navigated him towards the dining room and towards a chair. After a few minutes of waiting, humming to himself, dinner was served. He finally tasted another wave of nostalgia.
They all had silently agreed that for today, they’d not let the outside world get to them, and would treasure the moments they could. They’d deal with the others out there in the morning, when they were all well-rested and more ready for confrontation. For now, they’d laugh and relax, and let themselves take a break from the conflict going on outside. A pair of retired fighters and travellers and two brothers who hadn’t seen each other for a while made for quite the group, didn’t they?