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Someone elbows Xiao Zhan in the ribs and he opens his eyes to grin down at the young boy he'd traded seats with so he could look out the window. "Look!" he says, pointing excitedly. "Look, a tunnel!"
Xiao Zhan smiles. He knows this train ride well; he goes home for New Year's every year. He knows the tunnels well enough. "It'll get dark," he says, just in case the kid has never taken a train through a tunnel.
"I know that," he says, frowning at Xiao Zhan like he's being obnoxious.
Xiao Zhan grins at him. "Okay, okay. Didn't want you to get scared."
"I'm not a baby. I'm not scared of the dark."
"All right," Xiao Zhan says, ready to tease him some more but stopping because they enter the tunnel and there is a strange pulling sensation in his gut and he feels suddenly dizzy. He closes his eyes tightly against the feeling, slightly nauseated.
He gives it a few breaths, and when he opens his eyes, they've come out of the tunnel.
He stares out the window, much closer than a moment ago. He hasn't moved. Why is he now in the window seat?
He turns his head to see where the little boy has gone off to and jumps as he sees a woman sitting next to him. Where did she come from?
Panic is already setting in as he looks down at himself and notices he's not even wearing his own clothes! And then he looks at his hands. They're wearing jewelry, for one thing, very odd as Xiao Zhan doesn't own any rings, but also – they're huge. He's tall, and his hands are practically dainty for his size. These hands –
Are not his hands.
The panic has spiraled into a full-blown meltdown as he starts to hyperventilate. "Excuse me," he mumbles, standing and climbing over the woman next to him.
"Yibo?" she asks, and another layer of panic sets in as he wonders if whatever has happened, wherever he has ended up, they speak some foreign language. Then she asks, "Where are you going?" and at least he doesn't have to worry about that much.
He makes it to the bathroom just as something in his pocket starts vibrating, and he catches the eyes of three young girls just as he's going in, nodding and smiling disarmingly at them as is his habit. They are all looking at him with wide eyes, and he thinks he must look like shit for them to be staring at him so openly.
He shuts and locks the door to the bathroom, leaning against it to fish out the phone that's insistently buzzing against his hip. He stares down at his own phone number on the screen.
The panic rises in him, filling him up with a suffocating dread. He accepts the call and says, "How are you calling me from my own phone?"
There's a huff on the other end of the line, and he hears his own voice say, "Weird. It is so weird, hearing me say that."
"I'm not you."
"Fine, hearing my voice say that. And I'm pretty sure you are me, at least right now."
What? This guy isn't making any sense. "What happened?"
"No idea," his voice says. "But I have to say thanks, because I haven't been this free to move on a train in years."
Xiao Zhan looks down at himself. What in the world does he mean? He doesn't seem limited in movement. He turns to look in the mirror, and the face that stares back at him is one he's seen in a thousand billboards and posters. "Wang Yibo?!" he screeches.
He hears his voice do something weird that he assumes is what Wang Yibo's laugh sounds like in his mouth. "Pleased to meet you," he says. "And you are?"
Xiao Zhan is going to faint. Yes, he's definitely feeling a bit light-headed. "Oh, shit," he says, and turns to take a seat on the toilet. "What the hell."
Wang Yibo laughs again. "Pretty sure your name isn't 'oh shit'."
What the fuck, he's in Wang fucking Yibo's body? How does something like this happen? He moans. "I'm going to throw up," he says, feeling the distinctive watery feeling in his stomach. "Shit."
"Breathe," Wang Yibo tells him, and Xiao Zhan does. He takes a deep, shuddering breath and lets it out. "Good. Now do it again."
Xiao Zhan does it again. The third time, he doesn't even need Yibo to tell him. "Okay," he says, breathing again. "Okay. Sorry."
"No worries, I was pretty freaked out, too."
"This is you freaked out? Because you sound pretty calm to me." Xiao Zhan is deeply envious. He's done nothing but run to the bathroom and tried to stay calm through his guts rearranging themselves in his body, but Wang Yibo has had the presence of mind to call him on his own phone!
There's a silence that feels like a shrug and Wang Yibo says, "I spend a lot of my life in uncomfortable and unpredictable circumstances."
Xiao Zhan thinks back to the last thing he'd seen Wang Yibo in. An episode of Happy Camp where he'd been forced to play a number of silly games. "I suppose so," he says, and remembers, suddenly, that he hasn't given his name. "I'm Xiao Zhan."
There's a knock at the door. "Yibo?" a woman's voice asks. "Are you feeling all right?"
"And I think your girlfriend is worried about you."
"She's not my girlfriend," Wang Yibo says icily. "She's my manager."
"Sorry," Xiao Zhan says, and he finds he is, deeply. "I didn't mean to offend."
Wang Yibo sighs loudly into the phone. "It's fine," he says flatly. "I suppose I should be grateful that you're not a fan that thinks I'm dating one of my co-stars."
"Uh," Xiao Zhan says, uncertain how to answer that. "To be honest, I've never thought about who you might be dating."
Wang Yibo laughs again, and it's less weird hearing it in his voice this time. "Well, that's a relief. Tell her you've got a stomach bug, you'll be out in a minute."
Xiao Zhan does as told, and she asks if he needs something for it.
"No, it's fine," he says. "I'll be out in a minute."
"Good," Wang Yibo says. "Did anyone see you go in there besides my manager?
The manager is talking to someone outside the door, and from the high-pitched disappointed sounds, it's the teenage girls. "Ah, yeah," he says. "Sorry. I smiled at some teenage girls."
"Great," Wang Yibo says.
"Sounds like your manager is shooing them off, if it helps."
"She's new, but she's good. Really good at heading overly-curious fans off at the pass."
"What's her name?" Xiao Zhan asks. It would be rude for him to just call her manager.
"Um." The silence feels sheepish. "I don't remember. I told you, she's new, and it's been a really busy week."
The disappointed feeling fades as quickly as it comes. Wang Yibo must have an intensely busy schedule and an army of handlers. It's not for Xiao Zhan to judge.
"That kid isn't yours, is he?"
"Oh, no," Xiao Zhan answers. "I traded seats with him so he could look out the window."
Wang Yibo hums into the phone. It sounds pleased. Xiao Zhan has already stopped noticing how weird it is to be listening to his own voice with a different accent. "We should probably meet. Maybe this can be reversed if we… look at each other? Or touch?"
"Well, that's fine for you," Xiao Zhan says. "But I think your manager may put me in a wrestling hold if I try anything. She was pretty sharp with those girls."
Speak of the devil. "Yibo, are you talking to someone?"
"She wants to know if I'm talking to someone."
"Hm," Yibo says. "That's good, actually, that'll get her to sit back down. Tell her you're talking to Sungjoo, you'll be out in a while."
Xiao Zhan does as he's told, and the manager does, actually, tell him she's going back to her seat and admonish him not to take too long.
"Done. She went to sit back down."
"Good. Okay, now in the pocket of that jacket, there's a hat and a mask. You'll definitely need to put those on. I don't think I have sunglasses, but check the inner pocket. If not, pull the mask up high."
Xiao Zhan takes another look in the mirror. The last time he'll look this handsome – hopefully – so he drinks it in. "Seems a shame to cover such a handsome face," he tells Wang Yibo, smiling at the surprised laugh.
"That's kind of the point, gege," Wang Yibo says, and now Xiao Zhan is laughing. "Okay, that jacket is reversible. Turn it around before you leave. Pull the collar up, but don't be conspicuous about trying to hide yourself – it'll just make people curious."
Xiao Zhan has a strange pang of something – sympathy, maybe? – and rearranges himself according to Wang Yibo's advice. He does look nearly unrecognizable, except for the eyes. "You have very distinctive eyes, Wang-laoshi, I'm not sure this is going to work."
There's another, brief silence on the other end of the line. "It never does, a hundred percent, so you're going to have to just keep moving. Most people are nervous and timid, but if enough of them – or a crazy one – starts something, they might press."
This seems dangerous. "Are you sure about this? I don't want to get you in trouble or… trapped by teenage girls."
"I won't get trapped by teenage girls, you will."
"Well, yes," Xiao Zhan agrees. "I don't want that either."
"It's fine, I'm coming to you. I'll save you if you get trapped by your admirers."
"Your admirers," Xiao Zhan corrects.
"Not so sure about that," Wang Yibo says. "I never smile at teenage girls."
"It's a habit!" Xiao Zhan protests. "It's nice to smile at people!"
"Hm," Wang Yibo says, doubtful. "Whatever you say, gege."
Xiao Zhan pops the door to the bathroom open a little and sees that the manager is distracted, her nose in a magazine, and the three teenage girls are nowhere to be seen. "Looks like the coast is clear," he says.
"Good," Wang Yibo says. "Head to the center of the train, and just keep moving. Don't make eye contact with anyone. Concentrate on your phone." Wang Yibo's calm, steady instructions are the only thing keeping Xiao Zhan from throwing up everywhere.
"I'm on the phone with you," Xiao Zhan says. "I can't look at my phone, I'm talking to you on it."
There's a beat of silence, amused, if Xiao Zhan is correct, and Wang Yibo says, "You've got wireless headphones in, gege."
Does he? Xiao Zhan puts his hand to his ear to check. He does. "Oh." There's no way to sound less stupid about it, so he keeps quiet. "Okay. Looking like a kid distracted on his phone while I wander the aisles of a train, got it."
"Don't wander. If you go too slowly, you give people too long to look, and the less timid ones will want to talk to you."
So arrogant! "Not everyone is a Wang Yibo fan you know," Xiao Zhan says, but he rethinks that when two teenage boys look up as he passes and their eyes get huge, and then the granny in the next seat looks up at him and visibly startles. He walks a little faster, but there are whispers getting louder and people turning their heads to get a look at him, and he's going to –
"Breathe, Xiao Zhan. Look down at your phone. I've got some games on there, if you need something to take your attention."
"Mm," Xiao Zhan agrees, taking a deep breath and looking down at the phone. He opens it and looks for anything that looks like a game. Everything looks difficult and fancy. "Don't you have solitaire or something?"
Wang Yibo has the audacity to laugh. "Ah, gege needs something slow-paced for his old reflexes."
Xiao Zhan does not rise to the bait. He keeps flicking through apps until he finds one, way at the back, for a game that looks much simpler. It occurs to him that he's just seen all the apps on Wang Yibo's phone, and he mentally apologizes for the intrusion. This has distracted him enough that when he looks up again, he's surprised to see half the train car twisted in their seats to get a look at him.
Shit, shit, shit. He tells himself to keep walking, and picks up the pace a little bit. It's a palpable relief when he gets to the end of the car and no one has stopped him or called for his attention.
"This is terrifying," he says. "I don't know how you do it."
There's a sympathetic sort of hum over the phone. "You get used to it. Most of them wish you well, honestly, and won't do more than stare. The dangerous ones are usually doing damage on the internet. Running into one of them in person is unlikely and really unlucky. Don't ruin my good luck, gege."
"I thought your reputation was that you were a quiet boy," Xiao Zhan says. "Don't they always say how little you talk?"
Wang Yibo laughs. "Maybe I just hate the sound of my voice. Yours is more melodic."
Xiao Zhan isn't sure what to do with that information. He pokes at another cat on the game he's pulled up. "Aren't you a best-selling musician? That's ridiculous."
Another hum. "I prefer rapping, if I'm honest. My singing is… less good."
"I like your singing," Xiao Zhan says, squeezing his eyes closed at the way that embarrassing admission slipped out. He might as well come clean. "I've bought most of your music."
"Ah, gege, are you a fan?"
Xiao Zhan sighs. "Apparently I was wrong before, and everyone is a Wang Yibo fan."
"Are you having trouble?"
"Yeah," Xiao Zhan says as he looks at the crowd of people standing in between the cars, looking almost ravenous. It feels like he's in a zombie movie. "I don't think I can make it any further."
Wang Yibo laughs. "Okay, okay." He laughs again, his weird little croaking sound ending in a giggle. "I'll have to come to you. Turn around and head back to my manager."
Xiao Zhan nods and turns around to make his way back, and there is a group of people at the other end of the car now, too.
"Uh," Xiao Zhan says. His pulse is starting to race and his skin is getting itchy. "I might be stuck."
"Ah, shit," Wang Yibo says. "I should have just come to you, it's stupid to think you could make it halfway here. How are you doing?" It sounds like Wang Yibo has started moving faster. There's no room to run on a train, but he's breathing heavier, so perhaps he's found a way.
"Freaking out a little," Xiao Zhan admits. "It feels like they're going to eat me alive."
Wang Yibo laughs again. "Yeah, it takes a while to get over that feeling. They're probably harmless. Just turn around and keep moving slowly. Once you start making your way through that crowd, the manager will notice and handle them. Actually, come to think of it, text her. She's the last person I texted – just say that you got turned around coming out of the bathroom and are surrounded."
"What if I just gave them what they want?" Xiao Zhan says, frowning when he realizes he doesn't even know what that is. Hopefully not to actually eat him alive. "Wait, what do they want?"
"Selfies with you, mostly. Maybe autographs. But that will never work. You'd just be stuck doing that for the rest of the train ride, it would never stop. Besides, I doubt you can imitate my signature."
"Okay," Xiao Zhan says, flipping through Wang Yibo's phone again to find his texts. The last text is about his schedule for the day. He texts exactly what Wang Yibo told him to and keeps heading slowly toward the throng of people between this car and the last. He has to turn and brush by several people and every time he does, there's tittering in the car around him. He has a sudden pang of irrational anger on Wang Yibo's behalf. It must be maddening to deal with this all the time. "I'm sorry," he mumbles.
"What?" Wang Yibo says. He's definitely out of breath. "Almost there, just have to elbow my way through this crowd. Good thing you're tall, Zhan-ge. And skinny – I'm going to put these pointy elbows to good use."
Xiao Zhan turns around to look but can't see past the people that are starting to come up the aisle behind him. He's well and truly surrounded. Thank the heavens he doesn't have claustrophobia. He keeps moving forward, and in another minute he hears a woman talking in a scolding tone. "Please sit down," she says. "Wang Yibo isn't feeling well today, please allow him to take his seat."
There's a murmur in the crowd in front of him but it does start to dissipate. One down, one to go. He has an irrational urge to tell her he's being followed. She makes her way through the crowd shuffling back to their seats and when her eyes light on him, they're annoyed. "Are you okay? How is your stomach?"
He shakes his head. He can't speak – he's already realized he speaks with his own accent, they'll be found out. "Nauseous," he says quietly, almost a whisper.
"I'm sorry," she says, her annoyance softening a little. "Come on." She pushes him in front of her and turns to the crowd behind him, telling them he's not feeling well, and he hears more grumbling and a granny say, "Try some ginger tea." He grins.
"You should pay your manager more," he says. "That was truly impressive."
"She's not mine and my company pays her plenty. She's just doing her job. This is nowhere near the worst things my managers have to deal with."
"Wang Yibo, are you making all your managers' lives difficult?" As he makes it back to the bathroom he came out of, a crowd of a dozen or so people clearing as he goes through, mumbling well-wishes for his health, he thinks the terror he felt was probably unwarranted.
"Not on purpose. But there are parts of idol life that definitely grate and sometimes I just have to…" He pauses, and Xiao Zhan waits patiently. He's been in Wang Yibo's body for ten minutes and been through an emotional wringer. Whatever Wang Yibo says, he can understand. "Sometimes I need to feel like my life is my own."
Xiao Zhan hums in agreement. In addition to working hard at whatever skills got him to idoldom in the first place, he knows Wang Yibo has had to work on things most people learn over years of dealing with people in small, forgiving situations. Having to go through puberty in a public arena must have sucked.
He hears the next words both over the phone and in the air around him. "Wang Yibo!" he turns around to see his own face, red-faced from exertion, elbowing his way past the throng of people trying to return to their seats. People are giving him nasty looks. He's almost to his manager; part of him wants to see the showdown, but when Wang Yibo shouts, "Wang Yibo, it's me, Xiao Zhan!" he turns and waves.
The manager turns to him. "Do you know him?"
"Yes," Xiao Zhan says, though he can't figure out what kind of excuse to give. Wang Yibo is an idol and has been in the business since he was a teenager. How would they have ever met? Finally he says, "Family friend."
He's several years older than Wang Yibo; perhaps they can sell this. After all, Wang Yibo's words in his voice carry his own accent. "Okay," she says to Wang Yibo. "Come with us. Just for a few minutes, he's not feeling well."
"Thank you so much," Wang Yibo says, and the lack of echo in his ear means he's hung up on the phone call. Good thing one of them still has some functioning brain power.
"Take my seat," she says. "I'll block you from view."
They shuffle a little in the small space and Wang Yibo leads the way to the seats – the last row, Xiao Zhan notices, presumably so there's no one behind them trying to sneak photos. That's good. It's amazing how much forethought must happen on all this to protect someone as famous as Wang Yibo.
When they get there, Wang Yibo takes the aisle seat, so Xiao Zhan has to climb over him to get to the window. "Sorry," he says, but the way his eyes are twinkling, Xiao Zhan doesn't believe that at all.
"Well now what?" Xiao Zhan asks, as they turn to face each other on the seat. "I thought maybe seeing each other…"
"Yeah, me too," Wang Yibo says, studying Xiao Zhan critically. "Maybe touching?" He holds out his hand and Xiao Zhan takes it, lacing their fingers together.
Wang Yibo's eyebrows shoot up and all Xiao Zhan can think is that he had no idea what surprise looked like on his face until now. The manager turns around and hisses at him, "Is this your ex?" and Xiao Zhan's understanding of the world does a neat about face.
"No," Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo say at the same time, and Wang Yibo drops his hand.
"You know the rule," she says. "No touching in public."
"Sorry," Wang Yibo says again. "It's my fault. It's just been a long time."
"It doesn't matter," she says. "If you honestly care about him, you'll be more careful."
"Yes, ma'am," Wang Yibo says, smiling at her. It's very strange to see that smile on his face. He actually recognizes it, from a thousand commercials and a few dramas and it is definitely not Xiao Zhan's smile. Xiao Zhan kicks him and Wang Yibo turns to look at him. "What?"
Xiao Zhan smiles at him, briefly, and Wang Yibo nods. "Ah, that looks weird."
"Are you feeling all right, Yibo?" she says, and Xiao Zhan think the brief smile might have even looked like a grimace to her.
"Fine," he says. "I'll be fine." He hopes. He hasn't thought about what this will mean if they never switch back. He can't be Wang Yibo. He can't dance or act or play silly games on entertainment shows.
"Don't panic," Wang Yibo says calmly. "We'll straighten this out, I promise." He looks Xiao Zhan up and down again. "You really do look ill."
"I'm feeling ill," Xiao Zhan snaps, and Wang Yibo gives him a lopsided grin.
"Well," Wang Yibo says. "If this is like the stories, maybe it's a kiss?" Wang Yibo darts in and kisses him on the cheek.
Before he can even react, the manager huffs and yanks on Wang Yibo's collar to pull him back. "What did I just say?" she whispers, though somehow her voice seems to penetrate straight into Xiao Zhan's brain like a knife.
"Sorry," Wang Yibo says with a smile that says he's not sorry at all. "It just really has been a long time."
"There are cameras everywhere," she says to Wang Yibo, like he's the one that doesn't know that. Xiao Zhan looks at himself and sees the way Wang Yibo is leaning in toward him like Xiao Zhan has his own gravity.
"I know," Wang Yibo says. "I know, it's just." Wang Yibo takes a breath, turns to him and smiles. "Very exciting to see him again."
"Well, keep it in your pants," she says. "You can meet up after he's finished his obligations for the day."
"Right, right," Wang Yibo says. "Of course. Thank you, Jiejie."
She huffs. "Don’t try and charm me," she says. "Just do as you're told."
Watching this exchange up close, Xiao Zhan is impressed with Wang Yibo's ability to charm when he wants to. Certainly this is part of his popularity, but even Xiao Zhan knows he is considered more distant than friendly, particularly to new people. While he's pondering this, the phone in his hand vibrates.
There's a tunnel coming up. I think we should try to kiss for real.
Xiao Zhan looks up at Wang Yibo, sure surprise and fear are warring on his face. Wang Yibo grins at him. "This is so cool," he says, and looks down at his phone.
We'll have a second before the lights come on. It should only take that long. If we're quick, she won't even notice.
The speed with which Wang Yibo texts is alarming. Xiao Zhan watches him type with awe.
Less than a minute now. Get ready!
Xiao Zhan looks up at Wang Yibo and shakes his head, rolling his eyes for good measure. Get ready to be kissed by one of the most popular idols in China, sure. No problem. He feels like he should stretch or do some kind of warm-up.
Wang Yibo smiles, and even seeing it on his own face, it is potentially the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Then Wang Yibo flicks his eyes down, and Xiao Zhan follows them, and he's holding up three fingers. Then two.
Xiao Zhan realizes it's a countdown about the same time as Wang Yibo moves, raising his hand and leaning in the last little bit between them.
Xiao Zhan closes his eyes instinctually, and he feels the hand on his cheek a moment before he feels Wang Yibo's mouth on his. Or his mouth on Wang Yibo's, he supposes, if the body and the soul are truly separate, and what a time to think of something like that.
The dizzying feeling from before returns and sensation shifts abruptly, like he's being yanked offstage with a giant hook, and then he can feel his fingertips pressing into the soft skin of Wang Yibo's cheek and the smear of lip gloss as he pulls back, his reflexes his own again.
"Oh, thank heaven," he says. He lowers his hand to his lap.
The manager turns to stare at him. "What happened to your accent?"
"Sorry, sorry," Xiao Zhan says, ducking his head. "Tunnels always just scare me."
She gives him a strange look at that and then looks across to Wang Yibo. Xiao Zhan turns to get a glimpse too, and it's devastating, actually, to be sitting this close to him. He's more handsome in person than in print, even, and he's smiling softly at the moment, something Xiao Zhan has not seen in any billboard or entertainment show.
"Are you feeling better?" she asks Wang Yibo. "You look better."
Wang Yibo nods, his eyes not leaving Xiao Zhan's.
"You should go," she says to Xiao Zhan, and he wants some last evidence of the weirdness of the last twenty minutes. Or maybe he wants an excuse to touch Wang Yibo again. He sets his hand on Wang Yibo's knee.
"It was good to see you, Wang-laoshi," he says, grinning. "Don't be a stranger." He gives Wang Yibo's knee a quick squeeze as he stands.
Wang Yibo grabs his arm. "I'll text you when I'm done for the day," he says. "We can meet for a late dinner." He lets go and looks down. "If you're free."
The insecurity is weirdly charming; he feels fairly certain that it's about Xiao Zhan having gotten a glimpse into the craziness of his life, not about Wang Yibo himself.
"I'm not up for any more crowds for a while. Zombie apocalypse flashbacks."
Wang Yibo nods dejectedly and slumps back in his seat. Xiao Zhan shakes his head. Did he really think that was a rejection? Silly boy.
"I'll cook," he says. "I'll text the address."
The smile Wang Yibo gives him could probably light up all of China. Xiao Zhan is doomed. "See you later, Zhan-ge."
Xiao Zhan smiles back. "See you later, Wang-laoshi."
~~~