Chapter Text
Gerard’s first thought when Frank opened the door was that he didn’t like their sofa. His head was at just the right angle that he could see past Frank and Ray and into their living room. It was needle thin brown corduroy stretched over gargantuan lumps of uneven stuffing. There was a threadbare spot on the left arm where it had been worn down.
If he really put some thought into it, Gerard supposed, he was looking at the sofa because he couldn’t look at what was in front of him.
He made Mikey wait in the car with him for ten minutes, watching Ray and Frank in the kitchen, before he had the courage to knock. He’d seen the way Mikey’s carefully crafted expression of boredom had slipped off as he opened the car door- he was surprised. They’d had a routine for the last month you see.
They’d both sleep in until two or three in the afternoon and eventually roll out of bed for coffee, cigarettes and breakfast (the contents of which very much depended upon the consumer). They’d watch TV for a bit and then head into town from the suburbs. They’d get groceries (pancake mix, frozen pizzas, sheep’s blood from the local butchers, twizzlers) and hang around for a bit. Gerard occasionally darted into a comic book shop with sunglasses and a hood. Then they’d drive back home. And it was home.
Donna and Arthur Way had died a few years prior in a tragic car crash leaving their house to their two children. Although it had been temporarily empty during the whole we’re both vampires thing it now found itself with its two regular inhabitants. Gerard did sometimes wonder if their mother would be angry that they auctioned off her old (very creepy) doll collection as neither he nor his brother particularly felt like getting jobs to buy groceries and cigarettes. He asked Mikey one day what he thought and they settled on the fact that she wouldn’t be angry, just disappointed.
After they settled back in for the evening Gerard, much to the annoyance of Mikey, would always insist upon testing. Mikey’s exasperation came as, for the last three months, they had tested. And tested. And tested. And tested.
It was easy enough to confirm Mikey was a human- a beating heart will do that to you. But it was much harder to figure out what exactly had happened to Gerard.
Mikey was terrified, a strong combination of Gerard’s unmoving form, the razor blade in the sink and feeling his own heart for the first time in a year, but he’d soon realized Gerard wasn’t bleeding. He hadn’t done anything.
Relief pooled in his brain all warm and chlorinated as Gerard’s eyes began to open.
The nearest the two of them could figure, as they sat on the bathroom floor with tear streaked cheeks, was that the cure had worked- there was only one human. It had taken whatever small amount of life force vampires had from Gerard and transferred it to Mikey- apparently enough to make him human. This left Gerard, well, ultra-dead (Gerard thought that was a good name for a band, Ultradead, Mikey did not). Dawn sunlight filtered into the room before either could make a move for the curtains. Nothing happened.
It was with shaking hands Gerard opened the motel room door.
For the first time in a year they felt the sun on their skin. It felt nice.
Gerard figured it was like moving up a class in DnD. He was basically a more powerful vampire now. Sunlight didn’t affect him, he didn’t have to be invited into anyone’s home, he fished his Grandmother’s old rosary out of his duffel bag and clutched it in his hands without flinching.
Not all of it was obvious right away.
It took two months of him pushing his hair out of his eyes to notice it was growing. He had never changed as a vampire; they remained in stasis- immortal. He almost cried looking at the long strands in the mirror. He was aging; he wasn’t trapped in a prison of immortality. If luck had it he would die old with his friends and family.
Through their testing they found out that, although Gerard still needed blood, an animal’s was enough to sustain him.
The only lingering effects of his vampirism were the sharp teeth and cold skin. He looked over at Mikey’s human form- the trade off was more than worth it.
But he was scared- thought the universe might realize they had finally, fucking finally, been given a good hand and recant it. So they tested. Gerard would walk into the sun- he was fine, he would say prayers with his rosary in hard- he was fine, he would walk into a store without someone inviting him- he was fine. He was fine but he wasn’t okay.
He’d run away and gotten what he needed but he left behind what he wanted.
He missed Frank every night.
Eventually he and Mikey felt secure enough in what happened, in their grasp of what happened, in the fact that they couldn’t be possessed anymore and hurt Ray and Frank. They’d driven to the house they knew the two of them were renting (sometimes it paid to have Jamia and Lynz keeping an eye on them [although they did insist upon payment in Doritos]) and had very much planned on seeing them. On talking to them. On letting them know hey we aren’t actually dead or missing and are very much fine sorry about that whole run around. But then they’d pulled up to the driveway.
Gerard saw Frank’s easy smile in the kitchen as he threw a beer bottle cap at Ray.
He was happy.
Gerard couldn’t bring himself to walk in and ruin it.
But god did he want to.
So they sat. Every day, vaguely like stalkers, outside the run down house while Mikey waited for Gerard to have enough courage to open the car door.
Given the fact it had been a month Mikey couldn’t help the surprise on his face when Gerard finally did it.
So there Gerard was, staring at a couch, because he hadn’t managed to think of an appropriate greeting for your ex-almost-boyfriend-that-you-abandoned.
But not looking at things, like the sun or the edge of a cliff, very often ended in injury. In blistered red skin or a long hard fall.
Or a punch in the face.
Gerard felt the sharp pain in his jaw, and the hollow thud sound it made, before he saw anything.
----
“You fucking punched me!”
“ You ran away!”
“Because I was worried about you!”
Mikey let his gaze slide over to Ray as Frank and Gerard continued yelling.
“So human, hey?”
“Yeah- well I am.” He smiled warmly at Ray.
Ray didn’t have a dissimilar look on his face to Frank right before he punched Gerard.
So he was mad then. Good to know. Mikey’s smile faded.
“I texted.” The unasked for explanation hung thin in the air.
“ Sorry is just one word!” Mikey was pretty sure this was the first time he’d heard Ray yell.
“I thought you knew what it meant.”
Ray sighed and looked at Mikey. Really looked at him.
He sighed again.
“You don’t need to lie to me.”
“Yeah I- fuck- yeah, I know. I really am sorry though.”
“I know.”
Their quiet defeat at the things they could’ve had was quickly overtaken by the louder yelling of Gerard and Frank.
“How the fuck did you get in here anyways?” Frank stared at Gerard standing inside the house he was never invited into. “And the sun! Fuck- how- Gerard?” Frank’s voice cracked over his name and that’s when Gerard really had to try. Had to hold himself together and not break down in tears and hold Frank to his chest and never let go. Because he sounded broken. He sounded lost and confused and scared and fucking broken .
And it was Gerard’s fault.
Ray briefly considered making a break for it and hiding out in a bar for a few hours because it looked like he was going to have to be the adult in the situation- again. “Maybe we should all sit down.”
“I don’t want to fucking sit down!”
“Talking isn’t going to fix things right now.”
“Do we have to?”
Five minutes later they were all seated in the living room. Gerard had dragged a chair in from the kitchen. He didn’t want to sit on the couch.
“Well I didn’t kill myself.”
“That was an option?” Ray couldn’t help the octave his voice rose as Gerard offered what he seemed to think was a soothing balm for the situation.
“ Maybe?”
Mikey sighed. He really hated when he had to explain stuff because his brother was being an idiot.
“Look- I’m human and Gerard’s still a vampire. But, like, he’s immune to normal vampire things. That’s enough of an explanation, right?”
“No!” Mikey jumped slightly as Ray and Frank yelled their answer in unison.
“Fine. Gerard your turn.”
Ray went back into the kitchen to retrieve his and Frank’s half finished beers. He didn’t offer Gerard and Mikey any.
“This is like pulling teeth. Holy fuck- just tell us what happened.”
Gerard bit his lip and looked at Frank who hadn’t said a word since they all sat down.
Gerard, haltingly and sparing a few details, explained what happened after he and Mikey left- the cure, waking up, the testing, finally knowing it was safe enough to see Ray and Frank. “It was always about your guys’ safety. That’s why we did this in the first place, the cure, remember when I almost killed you?” He cut a look to Frank who had been staring at the carpet near Gerard’s feet.
“Sure,” Frank rubbed the side of his neck, two pinkish circular scars visible, “sure, I remember. I also remember when you said we would do this together.”
“Things change and people get hurt Frank.”
“Yeah, people get hurt!”
He turned on his heel and the slam of his bedroom door rang out.
Gerard got up to follow.
“I don’t think he-” Ray started but was cut off by Gerard.
“What’s he going to do? Punch me?”
The door clicked as Gerard treaded gingerly into Frank’s room.
Ray and Mikey stared at each other. Well- Ray stared at Mikey who was looking rather intently at the floor.
“Did you want to leave?”
The quietness, the honesty, of Ray’s voice caught him off guard and he couldn’t help but look up into Ray’s eyes.
“No. I only went because Gerard asked me.”
“That was it? You had no idea and you left us behind because Gerard wanted you to?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“He’s my brother.”
Ray sighed. He had a hard time hanging on to anger.
“I’m happy you went. It seemed like he might’ve done something drastic.”
“Me too.”
“But four months? Four fucking months Mikey? No calls, no emails, nothing?”
“Probably could’ve handled the fall out a little better.”
“Yeah.”
A beat of silence passed.
“Are we- are things - going to go back to how they were?”
Ray got up and sat down next to Mikey. He looked tired.
“I want that more than anything, honestly, but-”
“But?” Mikey felt like his heart might stop beating (again) in his chest.
“But whenever I look at you all I can think about was how it felt night after fucking night staring at my phone wishing you would call. Things were so easy with us.”
“And now?”
“I’d have to pick up the pieces and slot them back together to see the picture Mikey; to be honest, I don’t know if I can.”
Mikey shifted closer and Ray was surprised by the warmth he threw off. ““Why?”
“Because it’s been so long there are pieces missing now and some of the shapes have changed- look- Mikey- we fucked around a bit and it might’ve gone somewhere but it didn’t. You decided that when you let me stare at an empty screen for four months. I’d say we could try to be friends again but, honestly, we don’t need to try. We’ve always been friends and always will be. It’s just a little delicate right now.”
Mikey knew he should be happy, be grateful, that Ray even considered him a friend still but the sour taste of the truth stuck in the back of his throat. Things were over with Ray and it was his fault.
“Thanks for, uh,” muffled yelling could be heard from Frank’s room, “talking to me I guess.”
“Beer?”
“Yeah, thanks.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes as Ray disappeared to the kitchen. It was like the sweetest memory he couldn’t have.
Yeah they’d really fucked this one up.