Work Text:
He shouldn't be working right now and Akaashi knows it, but he can't help it. His fingers work almost by their own will when there is a piece of paper nearby. Even if it's just a small napkin at the restaurant where he has been waiting for twenty minutes for his date to come.
It started with a simple doodle of the food he was thinking of eating, he has no idea how ended up being the face that has been haunting him for years. Maybe because he is so used to drawing him that his brain transforms any simple sketch into his favorite creation.
He hates when this happens because it always takes so much time to finish him, he can't leave him half done. Akaashi needs to finish it. His finger traces over the long hair not quite liking the result of the messy thin lines. So, he starts again.
Each time is harder and harder to capture Kenma's beauty.
A heavy sigh leaves his lips before starting again. This time the sketch is big enough to show every detail of his face. He always starts by the eyes, the essence of his character. A door to his own paradise. He swears he can see a flash of golden warmth on the black and white drawing. Akaashi stares at it, just two feline and round orbs. Yet, he can see every emotion in them. And that sharp sting on his chest comes immediately.
Akaashi tries to inhale ignoring the pain and the feeling of drowning in the nonexistent sea that his fucked up mind likes to torment him with. A shaky exhale comes after hearing a "hello, sorry for being late" as his date greets him with a careless smile.
He curses in his head as he quickly wrinkles the napkin to hide it in his pocket. Those eyes were only for him to see. An incomplete work but that he can't get rid of, he can't throw his creation away, especially if it's Kenma.
Despite being almost half an hour late, the date goes well, the man doesn't ask too many questions, focusing on talking more about himself. Akaashi doesn't care at all about this person life, but he still appreciates the fact that he only needs to eat and listen. After an hour, he just half listens, his mind wishing to be somewhere else with someone else.
The goodbye comes too eagerly out of his lips, the promise of going out again it's completely shallow. Akaashi rushes to go home. The velocity of his legs gaining speed with each step he takes, he curses at the good and sunny weather. If it were raining, it would have been the perfect excuse to stay at home today.
The pain on his chest slowly fades away the more closer he gets, his hand fiddles with the keys of his apartment inside his coat pocket, the itching to keep working on his masterpiece is always present, but today is stronger than ever. He takes the stairs, believing that his body can get there faster by practically running and jumping the steps than taking the elevator.
He is almost home and he is finally breathing normally again, his hands are aching to put all his new ideas on paper and give life to his creation.
“Hi, neighbor!”
Akaashi turns around with his keys still in the lock. Ah… just a movement away from being home expressing all his emotions into Kenma. “Good afternoon, Miya-san."
“I haven’t seen ya around since forever, how ya been?”
“Uh, fine, just working in stuff, I have been extremely busy.” Akaashi glances at his door before looking back at the owner of Onigiri Miya, trying to give him the message that he has no time to chat in the hallway.
“I can see it, you look tired and in need of a big cup of coffee,” he signs with a polite smile.
“It’s been a long day that is all.”
“Well, the coffee at Onigiri Miya has a 100% discount for my favorite neighbor.”
“Umm, okay...”
“That’s you,” his neighbor says before laughing briefly as he rubs the back of his neck. “You can pass by whatever ya want! I’ll be there til midnight today.”
“Oh, okay. I will think about it.”
Even if loves the onigiris there more than the coffee that the espresso machine can make, which he has the exact same one in his kitchen by the way, Akaashi does not go there that often anymore. The lack of social skills is the problem. Osamu Miya always tries to makes conversation with him, which ends up with a lot of awkward “okays” on his behalf. He is nice and Akaashi would love to talk with him like a normal person would do. Unfortunately, he does not classify as normal.
“That so? Haven’t seen ya in a while there, maybe you forgot where is at. It’s just around the corner, under the big onigiri signboard!”
“I know, thank you, Miya-san. I have a lot to do today, but I will go if I have spare time.”
The smile he gives him is hopeful and Akaashi fights against himself for turning down the opportunity that quickly inside his head, but going out today was enough to make him want to stay home for an entire month.
“See ya later then!”
Akaashi nods his head once before entering his home, he takes his shoes and coat off to close the door quietly behind him. Resting half of his body at the door and letting a relaxed sigh leave his body, Akaashi feels already more at peace in the safe silence where he has been living the past years.
The unfinished drawing on the napkin is safely saved for later in his sketch drawer where he has another couple of doodles and drafts for his story. After changing to more comfortable clothes, he goes directly to the coffee maker, today will be a long day and he needs all the fuel possible.
He checks his phone for messages and it’s not that he receives many in a normal day, actually, he only gets them from his work team where they usually talk about the upcoming ideas and other work stuff. But it is strange that he hasn't gotten any today and it’s the same with his email.
“That’s good, today is your free day, you can do whatever you want.”
Akaashi still emails Udai Tenma asking for what he can do before the next release of the manga chapter.
He receives the reply an hour and a half later. “We have the next four months ready, just rest!”
Oh, how he wishes to publish weekly and not monthly. But that’s okay, now he has more time to work on the next arc.
He puts his phone aside as he takes another sip of his black coffee. The sketch in front of him regains all his attention.
Akaashi Keiji never thought of becoming a mangaka and yet here he is. Publishing his own manga since four years ago, a very successful manga. He had the story ready since he was sixteen years old, the product of reading too many fantasy books from a really young age. Now, almost a decade later he has a series of his own creation, that he both writes and illustrates.
The writing part was a piece of cake, the illustration however, was a completely different story. It wasn’t that easy to transform all the images on his head into actual paper. Describing them for someone else to draw them wasn’t an option either. No one was able to capture the essence of his main character, Kozume Kenma.
No one, but him.
The main protagonist of his story is a powerful white mage traveling alone in search of his best friend who turned to the dark side. He has many adventures on his journey and he meets a lot of characters as well who help him to defeat the antagonist. Kenma is just an introverted young man who had no choice but to become a hero just to bring the person he loves most back home.
Initially, Kenma’s adventures were supposed to come to life in a series of books, but his drawing skills improved each time he drew him. And he liked the idea of making several panels of him, changing any of his expressions according to the moment, and actually seeing him as you were reading the story.
Once he began to draw him, he couldn’t stop. Every day became a new search for achieving perfection. It took him years, but he did it. He draws for him.
It also made him feel less alone. Kenma was his only company.
No story on his head or written at the back of an old book were able to maintain his attention for more than a couple of weeks or to be worthy enough to have an ending. Yet, everything Kenma did was simply deserving of the most beautiful of words and the most meticulous of pen strokes.
Akaashi couldn’t keep Kenma out of his mind for more than a few hours, he felt the need to write him or draw him constantly. As if he was lifeless every time he didn't do it. All his thoughts were Kenma only. Even when he tried to focus on other characters they just ended up having shallow writing and eyes without passion, staying forgotten for being unworthy to be side by side of his favorite creation.
Luckily, Udai Tenma and the rest of the staff came to the rescue to give life to the other characters. Beauty was no stranger to any of Akaashi’s creations, he just liked to spend his time drawing Kenma only. So, just him is allowed in the evolution of Kozume Kenma.
Akaashi busied himself with his creation to the point of just living to give life to Kenma.
That’s the reason he wanted to run from his date as soon as he can or why he rejects any invitation because he just needs Kenma now. And Kenma needs him as much as him, he can’t exist otherwise.
Right now, Kenma is just a sketch, a mess of black lines forming his face and body. The details get sharper thanks to his art style. The familiar white robe waving a little due to the wind spirit hiding at the deepest of the forest, his staves glowing because Kenma is always cautious, he will need to use his powers soon. His hood is pushed back as Kenma looks towards the sky, his dark hair with lighter tips fall gracefully around his shoulders and by the position of his head tilt back, his hair seems even longer. A lonely yet happy tear about to fall from his bright eyes looking for company just like him.
It takes time to perfect the tiny smile on his lips, is not always noticeable but Akaashi is always able to see it. He erases Kenma’s delicate fingers that were wrapped around his staves to just let them still and relax at the side of his body, to not look more intimidating anymore. Kenma is in complete peace at this second.
He doesn’t usually give him color, but his soul screams for it. Brightness is brought to the white paper with his pencil, creating lighting and shadows in the process.
The readers would say he looks lonely, but Kenma never is. He gives him a gentle touch feeling the rough drawing paper in the tip of his finger to then brushing it to get rid of any excess.
“My hair looks weird.”
“It certainly does not, it looks perfect.” He says as he delicately keeps tracing his finger over the drawing.
“Is too wavy.”
“It’s the wind.” He holds the drawing before blowing a couple of times
“Hmm....”
Akaashi sighs, holding the drawing higher in the air to have better light. He angles it to his right so Kenma can see it too. “What do you think?”
Kenma shrugs his shoulders barely looking at it, focusing his eyes on his legs that are hanging from the desk he's sitting on. "My hair..."
"What a brat," Akaashi clicks his tongue after saving the drawing paper on a carpet with all of his other drawings that will never see the light of day. "Well, it helps for practice, I can always redo it and send it tomorrow."
"Didn't they tell you that you should rest?" Kenma arches an eyebrow at him, giving him an accusatory look.
"Yes, but you know I like to advance the work the more that I can."
"Sure," Kenma rolls those golden eyes at him. "At least give yourself the rest of the night, do something fun."
"This is fun," he answers, choosing between his pens the most suitable for drawing thin lines.
"You earn it, take a break! Just for tonight."
"Why?" Akaashi stops his hand before he can mark the new empty drawing paper. "You want to do something tonight?"
A fake sound comes out of his lips disguised as a laugh. "Okay, let's go out."
Akaashi looks at him for a few seconds, his eyes scanning the man at his side. His long hair looks messy, a sign that he just woke up, he is wearing one of Akaashi's favorite shirts that looks too big in him, covering half of his thigh, if he guesses correctly, that's the only thing he is wearing.
"You know that's not funny." He has his official drawing for reference next to him, but he looks at the real size Kenma to start the drawing trying to capture every small detail from his golden eyes.
“Wait, wait,” Kenma moves the drawing paper away from him. “It was a joke, you can ask for food and we can watch one of your boring foreign films.”
“I already ate.”
“Right your date, how did it go?”
Akaashi makes no effort to recover the single line he was able to draw in the paper from Kenma's hands. “I think you already know the answer to that.”
"So did you. You knew it wasn't going to work, but you went anyway, why?"
If only he hadn’t created Kenma that damn perceptive. “I can actually order some food, I didn't eat that much there anyway.” He changes the subject with no shame and Kenma doesn’t ask again either.
His body was begging for a day off, his decision has nothing to do with Kenma. Even if his eyes linger a little too much on Kenma’s reaction just to see his triumphant smile. He doesn’t really mind, his favorite moment of the day is when he smiles at him.
_______________________
It's past lunchtime when his stomach reminds him with a loud growl that he hasn't eaten anything since he woke up.
“Too busy editing.” He replies to Kenma when he tells him that he should eat something, but he is just a few pages away from finishing.
Besides, he has to take advantage when he is feeling extra inspired like today. Kenma is looking for magical ingredients to make a healing potion for his former childhood friend. Everything goes well until he is ambushed and he uses his power against simple bandits. Kenma doesn’t usually use his magic, especially not with a group of people who just were looking for an easy way to pay for food.
“They deserve it.”
Kenma has a small moment of realization. How far will he go to save his enemy?
“Fuck Kuro.”
One of the most anticipated arcs is coming, the final battle between the hero and the villain of the story. Akaashi doesn’t like to think that his story one day will come to an end. Maybe he should add another charismatic character or give more background to the demon king.
“Don’t make people feel pity for him!”
His staff should be in charge of that, but he’s gonna start with the storyline just in case.
“You are impossible.”
“And you are being annoying, I’m working.”
“You are delaying the inevitable, one day you will have to say goodbye to me forever.”
His fingers abruptly stopped from typing the next words he had in his mind since now is full of unwelcome thoughts about being alone again.
Kenma gone? He can’t do that. He has heard his team's suggestion about ending the story as it is still on the top, he has seen the negative comments online about that is just filling now, but he can’t let them. He won’t let them. As long as he lives, Kenma will do too.
His body tenses immediately, he bites his bottom lip trying to push away those tormenting ideas. His breathing is much slower now, but he is home now, this shouldn’t be happening. Kenma knows it, he feels it.
Two warm arms are wrapped around him from his back, Kenma’s body presses closer to him, his fingers making circular motions on his skin. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that was stupid. Keiji, I’m sorry. That’s never going to happen.”
He feels Kenma’s soft finger on his cheek, it goes up until he wipes off his tears. His blonde head is positioned in the crook of his neck as he whispers loving and reassuring words against his ear. Every breath Kenma takes is hit by his own skin, warm, gentle, and very real.
“I will kill you on the next page if you say that again,” Akaashi says in the safe arms of his lover. Kenma answers with a short laugh and a “you wouldn’t” before kissing any spot he can reach of his body.
It’s true, Akaashi would never.
_______________________
There are moments when he just succumbs to Kenma’s charms, those moments are actually more often than he would like to admit. Simple days where he dedicates to do absolutely nothing, no laptop, no phone, no work. Where he isn’t allowed to write or draw Kenma, there is no need to. His fingers don’t ache to create, his chest is free of any pain for having no words stuck there, his mind only focuses on the present. Kenma is by his side already.
A moment he wishes to last forever. Kenma sleeping in his arms after spending the whole day together, his eyelids fighting to stay open as they watch one of the movies he picked, but that’s alright, Akaashi appreciates Kenma's effort.
He slides his hand over Kenma’s relaxed face, feeling the smooth skin under his fingertips, slowly touching his high cheekbone, his thumb gently tracing his red lip. Not a single imperfection.
How was he able to create something like this? Was his divine talent who gave life to Kenma? Did the image of Kenma in his head make that talent blossom? Was it his endless prayers of feeling the warmth of his body instead of cold and rough paper? How did Kenma end up here with him?
Small fingers are wrapped around his wandering hand, a small noise of protest comes out of Kenma's lips before shifting his body and burying his head deeper into his chest. Akaashi has no choice but to give him his hand, leaving their fingers intertwined.
A kiss is pressed to his hair, producing a soft sigh from Kenma as he presses his entire body more firmly against him. Akashi let his eyes fall close, shuffling a little to have the best position possible. A tiny smile playing on both of them.
_______________________
Kenma is laughing next to him, but Akaashi ignores him as he keeps cooking his dinner. Two seconds pass and his eyes are already in Kenma.
“There’s still time to order something, no one likes burnt food.”
“I’m trying my best here. You are being more distracting than helpful right now, Kenma.”
“You could order onigiri from that store you like so much.” For someone who says how unappetizing the food looks, Kenma is sure enjoying it.
“It’s not ready, don’t eat it yet.” Akaashi rolls his eyes at the attempt of stealing the hot food from the oven by Kenma. “I don’t like going there much anymore.”
The constant beep of his phone interrupts him. Akaashi wipes his hands before looking at the message he has been anxiously waiting all day.
You are not killing Kuroo...
“YOU ARE KILLING KURO?” Kenma’s shout makes his body jump, the phone almost slips from his hand.
People love him
“I love him.”
Akaashi clicks his tongue as he types his reply to Udai-san. “There is nothing else to explore with his character. Him sacrificing himself for you is a good way to go.”
He is the perfect character! one of your best, you can write an entire arc around him. you can't kill him unless it is on the last panel.
“Well...he is not perfect, perfect, he is kinda annoying,” Kenma says looking over his shoulder to see the whole conversation.
“Right?” Akaashi comments a little bit offended by the title he gave to Kuroo. A title that only Kenma deserves.
“A pain in the ass.” They both say at the exact same time.
“But you can’t kill him, there’s no reason to. Do you want to just give the reader an important death just for shock value? After all the effort and time it took me to find him, we didn't even hug. You know how much I missed him.”
Akaashi wants to say that he shouldn’t mean anything to Kenma. He has no real importance in the world Akaashi created. Kuroo is just there to please the reader because everyone loves him. Any shared scene between Kenma and Kuroo just ends with people ignoring the entire story to create their own fantasies with them as a couple.
He doesn’t mind killing him off but Kenma’s pleading eyes touch the deepest of his soul. He hates the power he has over him. “Ugh! Okay, but a character has to die here.”
Kenma= 5005
Akaashi= 0
Kenma’s smile returns to his face as he keeps stealing bites from their lunch.
“Kill Terushima, no one cares about him. Make a redemption arc before doing so though!”
_______________________
“You know that just a knock at two doors away, there’s your neighbor waiting for an answer to his hundred invitation to a date, right?”
Akaashi stares at him, his stomach twisting just with the thought of being with anyone rather than Kenma.
“So, this is how you choose to spend your birthday? Ignoring everyone and spending it at home working all day on your pajamas?”
“I don’t need anyone.”
Kenma’s long and heavy sigh is too cold.
The rain drumming rhythmically against the windows is creating an unpleasant atmosphere. Kenma is just next to him seated on the couch flipping through pages from his old drawings. He is too far away in Akaashi’s opinion.
What else is he supposed to do today?
“You are right, it’s your day after all. You chose what to do.”
Akaashi catches Kenma’s caressing hand by the wrist before he can touch his knee. His golden eyes widen by the fast reaction.
What did Akaashi ever do to receive such a punishment? A curse in the form of an angel that takes all his breath away. He still prays and begs in silence for one day to wake up and for him to be real.
“Keiji…” A shudder went up to his spin when he felt the softest of kisses against his cheek.
Akaashi turns his head around not wanting to keep falling. On these kinds of days, those very same lips he designed for him only, just give him hard coldness. As if he was kissing nothing but a rock or sharp air.
He curses his powerful and desperate mind for all the suffering it created for not making Kenma perfect enough. Not enough to really exist.
A calloused and shaky hand finds his way to Kenma, and as he wishes for an immediate response by him, an immediate response he receives. Kenma caresses his knuckles before getting closer to him, the right part of his body pressed against him.
“Keiji, you know I love you, right?”
Slowly, Kenma’s free hand goes up to his face, the movement forcing him to look at his dreamy eyes. Softly, Kenma’s lips kiss his tears away.
“Yes, I really love to hear it.”
The movie in front of them is no longer in pause, he can clearly hear the action sequence of the fight the characters on the screen are currently having. The addictive smell of popcorn finally hit his nostril despite making them a few hours ago.
Kenma pulls him closer into a gentle kiss that soon transforms into many. The “I love you” are heard more and more, louder and louder by both of them.
He wants to tell him, he wants to make him swear to never leave his side, to stay for him forever, to live.
“I will live as long as you want me to.”
Their lips meet again in a soft kiss full of love. Akaashi’s hands touching and feeling all of Kenma as they are both swallowed by a deep embrace.