Work Text:
There’s something boring about being the centre of attention.
At first the attention was ravishing, he really couldn’t get enough. Everywhere he goes, people smile at him; they squeal and cheer and trip over themselves for him and him only. He doesn’t need to do anything and they’re suddenly all over him like moths attracted to light.
They’re all ugly, stupid specks of pixels compared to him.
Yet, as the days passed by like a blurred scenery from the window of a fast moving car, all their faces began to blur as well. They pixelate, distort, and even though it disappears with enough blinking, he couldn’t help but feel so…
It gets tiring almost too quickly.
Suddenly their compliments meant nothing, their adoring faces became hard to look at. His charming smiles strain, he finds it a challenge to choke out a laugh. It hurts his head and it makes his body ache knowing nothing interesting ever happens anymore (or at all, in fact).
He knows, he knows , he’s the biggest person in this school, but with everyone constantly surrounding him, he feels so, so small.
He wonders if he’s the only one that’s real in this goddamn place. He wonders if anyone else thinks it’s weird how he’s the only attractive- no, the only guy that has a face that isn’t...incomplete. He can’t even remember the names of the people that bother him incessantly and he’s starting to take note how he has only ever seen a maximum of twenty people in this school.
He wonders if the seasons change at all, if the dates even move forward, if anyone ever grows old.
Everyone is so generic and boring it makes him want to throw up , but he doesn’t because the only thing that he hasn’t lost is his pride (and his sanity, though he’s pretty sure it won’t last very long).
He just wants to get out, or at least have a life that doesn’t feel like it’s being repeated over and over and over and over-
“Good morning, Senpai! Lovely day isn’t it?” Everyone sounds like a broken record player, no matter how sweet their voices are laced with.
He smiles like he always does -it hurts his lips to stretch it so wide- and shoots the girl a wink. “Never better!”
His life feels like a video game played on repeat. Obviously it will get boring eventually if you play it long enough, and he feels like he has been playing forever.
He thinks, maybe, just maybe, his life could possibly be just a sick video game; that he’s cursed to be the only sentient being in a world of artificial flowers and grass. He thinks that, if it really were the case, does anybody actually love him?
Is the attention real? Is it just a code, a script that they all follow? Is he, too, just another set of codes and put-together pixels?
Perhaps he was never special to begin with. If nothing was real from the very beginning, not even the love and attention he gets, then is he really worth anything?
So, will anybody come and get him out?
He thinks- He wonders that if he screams loud enough, will anyone out there come and save him?
The smell of cherry blossom trees once again stings his nose when he wakes up, a smell he thought he would’ve gotten used to by now.
Something else begins to sting as well.
It’s his eyes.