Work Text:
Jean looked outside her window and sighed. It was a beautiful morning. The sun wasn't burning, but gentle, its warmth perfect for someone who had been cooped up inside her library for days.
Her eyes drifted to her papers, the complex arithmetics and alchemical arrays suddenly blurring together, their meaning lost to her tired mind. The circles and equations looked like high-quality chicken scratch, and the sense behind her own explanations was all but forgotten.
How long had she been working on this now? A couple of hours? Maybe more? Her eyes flitted to the clock, while she stifled a yawn behind her hand. It was—
How was it already 9 am?
If it truly was, then— had she been in her office for almost 24 hours?
Shaking the thought out of her head, she slumped in her chair, the designs on the ceiling suddenly monumentally interesting. She was getting nowhere with her research. She had heard that the Mondstadt library offered a vast array of ancient books, their knowledge old and almost forgotten. She thought it would be perfect for her thesis. Yet there she was, flailing. Failing.
Nothing new, now, was it?
She closed her eyes, and her thoughts almost inevitably went to Lisa. Had the knight finished the stack of paperwork due today? Her work ethic wasn't the best, but there was no way she had forgotten, or neglected those papers, had she? They were extremely important. They were to be sent to the Liyue Qixing in —another look at the clock— an hour.
Sighing to herself, she painstakingly stood up, her legs wobbly under her. She felt like death had warmed over. She headed out of her library, nonetheless. It wasn't very early, so by all accounts, the acting Grandmaster should be in her office.
She crossed the hall and knocked on the door directly across from hers.
"Come in~" she heard, the voice melodic, in the usual lilt Lisa adopted. Jean wondered how she always had the energy to be so playful.
Jean stepped into the office, careful to close the door behind her. The acting Grandmaster of Mondstadt was sitting behind her desk, her legs propped up on the table, a tray of tea and biscuits steaming in front of her.
"Jean!" She delighted, gesturing at the witch to come closer. Jean blinked. She could not be serious. "The tea is still piping hot? Come, let me pour you a cup."
Jean walked over, almost robotically. She didn't have any memories of sitting down, and accepting a steaming teacup, and a plate of scones.
"What brings you here, on this fine morning? Oh, the weather is just perfect, isn't it?" Lisa rambled, and Jean's eye twitched. "We should go on a walk later! I would love to enjoy today with you, Jean."
Jean was too angry to be flustered. Her eyes roamed over the Grandmaster, her shoulders relaxed, her attitude laid-back, her usual smile lighting up her face in a thousand different ways. How could she be so radiant, when Jean felt like death?
"Did you finish editing the contract with the Qixing?" Jean disregarded the previous questions, her blinks getting slower, sluggish. A pain was pounding behind her eyes. When was the last time she had eaten?
She took a scone and bit into it, feeling it dissolve into tasteless sand on her tongue.
Lisa laughed, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "I like to keep them on their toes."
'If I murder you right now, I swear the gods wouldn't hold me responsible.'
It was as if Lisa had sensed the ripples of rage coming off Jean in dangerous amounts. She chuckled nervously, patting a stack of papers on her right.
"I'm joking, Jean. I finished it two hours ago. I'll be mailing it shortly."
Jean nodded, curt. Then, "Wait, you were here at seven?"
Lisa's expression softened a little, the mischief and playfulness replaced by concern. Jean reddened under her gaze. Oh no, here came another lecture.
"I was. I noticed you were, too. It was like you never left."
Jean's eyes flitted to the window behind the Knight, resolved to look at anything but her.
"Jean, we've spoken about this. You look like hell."
Jean sneered. "Why, thank you, Master Lisa."
Lisa laughed, though there was no humor in it. "As much as I love it when you call me that, darling, you're not behaving like yourself. Is the research not going well?"
Jean felt a fire of something course through her, something hot and angry and ashamed. "It's going perfectly well, thank you."
Lisa raised an eyebrow at the bite in her words. It was true that Jean was usually quite soft-spoken, kind, and gentle in ways few people were. However, under the extreme pressure of the Academia, and the impossibly high standards she held herself to, she was unspooling, her previously tight, taut thread coming apart.
"You need a break. Like, yesterday," Lisa said, her glare more half-hearted than anything. She was worried about her, Jean knew.
There was something between them, that much was undeniable. Lisa looked at her like she was Barbatos himself reincarnated, like she was the wind blowing through Mondstadt. It was terrifying, to see someone look at you like you're their entire world. Jean had noticed when Lisa's polite smiles had turned genuine, her laughs going from forced to sultry, her gaze from appreciative to downright naughty.
Jean was sure Lisa had noticed Jean's behavior change towards her as well. Because, as much as she would loathe to admit it, Jean really liked Lisa. She was concise, well-spoken, and, contrary to popular belief, did great work, considering that this position was thrust upon her unwilling self. She hadn't asked for any of this, yet she still did her best, working efficiently to protect Mondstadt and make it even better than it already was. Jean could do nothing but admire her.
Jean had always been a hard worker, a perfectionist. When she was a child, she used to stay up at night, reworking and rewriting equations over and over in her little notebook, until they flowed as seamlessly as her own first name.
Lisa— Lisa was a natural. She excelled at almost everything. She needed half the usual time to complete any task, especially if said task was paperwork, or some contract or intel involving her position. For someone who hadn't wanted to be Grandmaster, she was damn good at it.
For the longest time, Jean had felt not only inadequate, but horrible due to the jealousy that used to ignite in her every time Lisa solved a problem with beautiful, graceful ease. How did it take Jean hours of practice, hours of work, and diligence, while Lisa could flick her hand and be done with whatever was bothering her?
Over time, that jealousy transformed into admiration, though the inadequate feeling stayed. It had always been there, anyway. She hadn't expected it to disappear.
"Jean? Jean. Darling, where did you go?" Lisa was talking to her. Damn it, what were they discussing again?
"I'm fine," Jean answered hastily, blinking to disperse the blur that had settled over her vision.
"You don't seem like it," Lisa whispered to herself, doubtful.
Jean only smiled at her, a smile she was sure was as pitiful as it was laughable.
Lisa's countenance brightened suddenly. "Hey, how about we go out, and enjoy the sun today? The others have organized a picnic, and they've invited me. Would you like to come along?"
Jean's throat felt tight. Making sounds and pronouncing words seemed to be an impossible task. She didn't want to intrude.
She shook her head, giving Lisa another weak smile. She could take an hour-long nap before plunging back into work. She still had that text written in ancient Schneznayan to decipher, and it might lead her somewhere, if she was lucky.
Lisa's concern seemed to grow tenfold. She stepped from behind her desk, coming to kneel in front of Jean, her hands lightly stroking hers. If Jean wasn't a scholar, she would've believed she was about to spontaneously combust.
"Please? Come with me. I promise, you would be more than welcome."
Jean sincerely doubted that. She didn't think the people of Mondstadt liked her very much, especially the group of friends Lisa surrounded herself with.
She couldn't refuse Lisa however, not when the Knight looked at her with those eyes, and with that small, pleading smile.
—
The picnic was every bit as picturesque as Jean would have thought. A few blankets were thrown on the ground, outrageous amounts of food displayed, their smell mouth-watering. Everyone was there— the two Ragnvindr brothers, playing cards with the drunk bard Jean was so accustomed to seeing running stark-naked in the plaza which her library window overlooked. The kids were running around, Amber, Bennett, and Lumine chasing Klee and Diona, though the latter was trying her hardest to look like she was having a very bad time.
Noelle, the maid Jean had seen a couple of times around the headquarters, was serving food to two peculiar girls, one with a crow perched on her shoulder, and the other with an oversized witch's hat sitting crooked on her head. Jean hated witch hats. She thought they were tacky. She preferred her hair loose on her shoulders, or in a neat, loose braid, so it wouldn't get into her eyes when she was working. She didn't see how a hat would be anything but annoying and over the top.
Everyone stopped what they were doing when they saw them approach.
"Master Lisa!" Amber screeched, running towards the Knight, enveloping her in a bear hug. "I didn't think you were coming!"
Lisa chuckled, ruffling Amber's hair affectionately. "Change of plans, my dear Amber. I had to get Jean here to see the light of day."
Amber's eyes flitted to her, as if she had just now noticed her standing awkwardly next to the brunette knight. She waved at her. "Uh, hello there, Miss Jean."
Jean smiled in what she hoped was a pleasant way. Her head was still throbbing, and she would rather be literally anywhere in the world but here.
Lisa seemed to notice her discomfort, and dragged her along to sit in a rather secluded spot, a blanket that was empty, tucked behind a big oak tree. They could still see the kids playing, could hear the adults talking and joking.
Though, in the shadow of the gigantic tree, Jean felt like they were almost alone. Her cheeks burned at the thought. 'Oh goodness, I might be losing my mind.'
Lisa sat down on the blanket, patting the spot next to her in encouragement.
Jean shuffled on her feet, hesitant. Lisa was looking up at her with a soft, gentle smile, her feelings for Jean fully on display, so bright, so prominent, even a blind person could see them. And Jean— Jean wanted to break down and cry. She wanted Lisa to hold her and never let go.
"Oh come on, Jean. Please?" Her voice was still honeyed, though the pleading was genuine. Jean couldn't say no, and probably never would be able to.
She lowered herself carefully next to the armor-clad knight, her dress tucked neatly under her. A gauntleted hand came up and smoothed a blonde lock out of her face.
"Why do you overwork yourself like that, darling?" Lisa asked in the softest of voices, before taking off her gauntlets, and letting her naked hand brush through Jean's bangs. Jean leaned into the touch, her eyes watering unconsciously.
She wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. She wasn't supposed to fall so irrevocably in love with Lisa. Lisa, who was her polar opposite. Lisa, who was perfect at everything she did, Lisa, whose effortless approach to life broke Jean's heart in ways she couldn't explain.
Jean elected not to answer, her eyes flitting to the ground in shame. Because she wasn't enough. That was the answer. An answer she would never voice out loud. She wouldn't want to worry the Knight, and to cause the usual avalanche of "what do you mean? You're so perfect, Jean!"
Lisa's eyes saddened, her hand dropping from Jean's face. A pain shot through Jean's chest because— 'Please don't stop— Please don't leave— Please don't hate me.'
Jean felt tears well up in her eyes. Oh no. No, no, she wasn't going to cry just because Lisa stopped touching her hair. Goodness, what was wrong with her?
But Lisa's hand dropping and stopping its ministrations on her hair was a sign of her realizing that trying to unravel her, to make her drop her walls, was a fruitless endeavor. She had finally given up, it seemed.
And a part of Jean was grateful.
And another part was in agony.
A silent sob wracked her chest, her head dropping in her hands. Gods, no, no, not now.
She heard someone gasp from next to her, and felt arms wrap around her, so tight, so loving and comforting, the sobs that had been accumulating for weeks just burst out, a dam breaking and releasing all it was holding back.
"Jean, no, please," Lisa kept saying, her hug tightening and her hand coming back up to Jean's hair.
Jean, for the first time in her life, threw her arms around the taller woman's neck, and held on for dear life.
‘Never leave me. Please, please—'
"I won't," a promise whispered into her ear, and a shot of embarrassment ran through her. She had— she had said it out loud? Archons, fuck—
Lisa momentarily let go to lay back against the bark of the tree, her hands beckoning Jean forward.
Jean's cheek blazed at the invitation. Was she— did she want them to cuddle? Before she could psych herself out, she took a deep breath.
She crawled towards the Grandmaster, settling into her arms as if she had always belonged there— a perfect fit.
The fingers brushing through her hair were gentle, their caresses careful, as if she was the most precious thing in the world, as if she could disappear any second. She snuggled deeper into the hold, her head nuzzling Lisa's collarbone. She wasn't going anywhere. Not when she was exactly where she had wanted to be for months now.
—
"Master Lisa?" Amber asked, her voice soft and careful, her eyes widening at the scene before her.
Lisa chuckled. She had known for a while now that Amber and the rest were trying to set her up with Jean. They had organized this picnic, and prepared this secluded little spot just for them. Lisa wasn't blind, nor was she stupid. She also didn't need help getting the woman she loved to open up enough to accept that love. She was perfectly capable of doing that on her own, she thought, her chest bubbling with mirth as her hold tightened around the blonde.
She saw Amber hold back a squeal of delight. "Oh gods— Archons, finally!" She slapped a hand against her mouth as the last word came out more a scream than anything, her wide eyes going to the sleeping Jean.
She didn't stir, only sighing softly, her breath fanning Lisa's neck.
Amber gestured at the others, giving them two thumbs up. Lisa could only imagine the others' faces, especially those two meddling idiots Kaeya and Diluc. They had been friends since they were children, yes, but that didn't mean they had to be involved so deeply in Lisa's romantic life.
She knew, however, that no amounts of complaining would ever stop these two from worrying about her. It was sweet, honestly, but she was more adept at dating and getting women or men than the both of them combined.
"We're packing up," Amber told her finally, her face a mixture of regret and excitement. "It looks like it's about to rain, so we agreed to call it a day." Amber had been Lisa's number one supporter in her endeavor to date Jean. Lisa knew Amber must be over the moon over this new development, but truly, Lisa didn't think much of it. Jean was just so tired, she needed a good rest. Lisa had simply offered one. It certainly didn't mean that Jean felt the same way towards her.
Ah, what a hassle. Why did she have to go and fall for the most emotionally unavailable person around?
Though, as she hoisted the sleeping blonde in her arms, making her way back to the headquarters, walking a few steps behind her friends, she realized, she wouldn't have had it any other way.