Chapter Text
Bakugou was no stranger to waking up in a hospital bed. It happened so frequently that he knew half the staff by name. Being a top hero came with a lot of incidents, after all.
Something about this time seemed different, though.
When he opened his eyes, everything seemed almost too bright. Like something was out of place.
Chalking it up to the meds, Bakugou goes to sit up, assisted by an ever too eager Kirishima.
“Bro, you’re finally awake. I was so worried about you, especially after that attack. I didn’t know…” Bakugou can’t exactly catch everything Kirishima was saying. The redhead was speaking much too fast, and that confirmed that the itch that Bakugou had wasn’t just in his imagination.
“...and I couldn’t get to you fast enough. It was like everything was moving in slow motion. I’m so sorry, Kat.” Bakugou blinks, turning his head to look at Kirishima.
He looked tired. It was no surprise; sitting there waiting for Bakugou to wake up always managed to take years off Kirishima’s life. The stress lines adorning his face seemed to be etched a little deeper this time.
Kirishima continued on his rant, gesturing wildly with his hands about was probably a very vicious battle with some villains. Bakugou assumes that he hit his head at some point, because he has no recollection of anything that happened.
The last thing he remembered was leaving in the morning for work. Kirishima wouldn’t let him out the door unless he gave him a double high five. It was childish, but he did it to make Kirishima happy.
A high five....
Bakugou finally works up the nerve to look at his arms. He could tell something was wrong with them since he’d woken up. They were numb, but so was his face, so he didn’t give it too much thought. Somewhere in the back of his mind, though, he knew that was what was out of place.
“Ei.”
“Yes, Kat?” Kirishima’s tone is practically begging him not to ask the question.
“What happened?”
“I just told you what happened.”
“To my hands.” Bakugou holds his arms up, displaying the bandages covering everything from the elbow done. The space where his hands were supposed to be was wrong, though. Instead of fingers and palms, there was empty space. Try as he might to move his hands, nothing happened.
And Kirishima was no help. Ignoring his question, Kirishima chose to fold his own hands into his lap, staring at the floor in between his feet.
The silence was cold, as Bakugou swayed his arms slightly, unable to process what he was seeing.
“Ei. I asked about my hands.”
“We had to amputate them.” The voice didn’t belong to Kirishima, but a doctor that had walked into the room. Bakugou knew of this doctor, vaguely. He hadn’t been directly under his care before, but he had heard rumors from nurses and janitorial staff. He was supposedly abrupt, not interesting in comforting his patients’ fears and ails, but only in providing the facts.
“Huh?”
“We had to amputate your hands. The villain had utterly crushed them. It was either your hands, or your life. This kid here decided your life was more important. I heard he rescued you. You’re lucky.” The doctor doesn’t look up from his clipboard, opting to tap the side of it with a pen in between taking notes.
Bakugou doesn’t hear anything else the doctor says. He’s too busy looking at Kirishima, staring at Kirishima. Kirishima refuses to meet his eyes, fidgeting with his fingers until the doctor leaves.
That’s when everything falls apart.
“You- You CHOSE to amputate my hands? You did that?” The disbelief was apparent in Bakugou’s voice, and Kirishima couldn’t face it.
“You heard the doctor. It was either that or your life.” Kirishima couldn’t manage to get his voice above a whisper. The rasp in his voice exposed the unshed tears building up in his system.
None of that was important to Bakugou, though. All he knew was that he no longer had hands.
“You cut off my fucking hands, Kir.” The edge in Bakugou’s voice got sharper and sharper, threatening to slice the thread holding the pair together.
“I couldn’t lose you, Bakugou. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Look at me.”
“LOOK AT ME.” Bakugou’s scream resonates through the room, cutting Kirishima into pieces. He finally looks up, and Bakugou is facing him, holding up his arms.
“I’m looking, Kat.”
“I don’t have hands anymore, Kirishima. I don’t have my FUCKING HANDS! How the hell am I supposed to use my quirk now, Kirishima? Can I even BE a hero?” Kirishima doesn’t have the strength to keep his head up. Everything was too much, too quickly.
He buckled. Throwing his head into his hands, Kirishima lets out the sobs he had been holding in for Bakugou’s sake.
“I’m sorry! I-i couldn’t get there fast enough! By the time I got there, they were already crushed! It was all I could do to get you out of there, Kat!” Kirishima looks up, grasping at the edge of the sheets.
It was the wrong move, as Bakugou stared down at Kirishima’s hands, his fingers that were so frantically trying to reach any piece of Bakugou they could find.
He wouldn’t allow that.
“Why the fuck would you choose this for me? I can’t live like this. What the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t use my Quirk. I’m fucking useless. Why didn’t you just le-”
“There was no fucking way I was letting you die, shut the HELL UP!” Kirishima’s voice rose without him meaning to. He knew what happened whenever he let his anger react with Bakugou.
They exploded.
And this time was no different.
“Why the FUCK are YOU yelling at ME when you fucking AMPUTATED MY HANDS??”
“DID YOU EXPECT ME TO LET YOU DIE, KATSUKI?”
“WHAT THE FUCK KINDA LIFE AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE NOW?”
“DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU??” Kirishima panted, his lungs giving out under the pressure of the screams. The question went unanswered, and when the redhead had the ability to raise his head, all he saw was Bakugou, broken, staring at the space where his hands used to be. He was shaking, and yet, as Kirishima looked at him, he felt no sympathy.
He loved Bakugou. He had risked his life to save him. But all Bakugou could do was sit there and scream in his face. It was almost as if their relationship meant nothing.
Kirishima stood, the first time in what felt like weeks.
“I’m leaving. This obviously isn’t working right now.” Sliding on his shoes, Kirishima reaches out to touch Bakugou, or at least that’s what he assumed he was trying to do. His hand got halfway through the space and froze.
Sighing, Kirishima retracted his hands and left, shutting the door solidly behind him. It took everything in him for Bakugou to watch him leave.
He couldn’t even ask him to stay.