Archive of Our Own

There was something irritating Jack. Just faintly. Quietly and softly. Some sort of disturbance skittering around the smooth edges of what was inside of him.

A black hole in the center of the galaxy. That was how Donatello had described it. Not having a soul meant not feeling anything at all. Jack didn’t feel nothing because he had certainly felt something earlier in Lebanon. But it had been unpleasant so he would very much prefer to feel nothing. To be quiet like nothingness at the center of the galaxy, calmly watching stars swirl.

But it was still there, hard for Jack to ignore, even when he was trying to complete his research in the library. Like… a persistent, foreign sound.

Jack remembered how he had walked into the kitchen many months ago, following a strange sound. He found the kitchen empty, but it was clear that Dean had been cooking as there was a pot was on the stove. Something was bubbling in it. Jack had stood there in the kitchen watching it. Gradually the bubbling got louder and it started to rattle the lid on top of it, bursts of stream escaping, fluid leaking down onto the stove top, hissing as it evaporated.

Dean had found him standing there, transfixed, but quickly cursed and pulled the pot away from the heat, putting an end to the noise.

“You told me not to touch anything in the kitchen,” Jack spoke up when Dean glared at the mess on the stove and then swung his disapproving expression over to Jack. Dean opened his mouth to argue, but eventually thought better of it.

Jack didn’t remember how that scene had continued, since he had been human then and he found his human capabilities of retaining memories lacking.

But now he was thinking about that bubbling. Whatever was inside of him somehow reminded him of it. Something was boiling underneath the surface. He just hoped that by ignoring it it would simmer down again. He had fixed it after all. Stacy was fine.

Jack heaved a sigh, resigning himself to having to live with whatever was bubbling inside of him until it eventually died down. He could ask Castiel about it, once he returned. But Cas had a habit of looking at him with worried eyes, and asking too many questions that Jack didn’t know how to answer. That too was irritating. So… maybe not.

Jack looked up when he heard the sound of the Bunker door swinging open. It was easy to recognize Sam and Dean by how they walked down the stairs and soon enough they were walking into the library.

“Hey, kid,” Dean said, sending him a small smile, then he let his eyes sweep over the books stacked up on the table. “You still at it?”

Jack had technically spent most of the time after the incident leafing through the books without really thinking too much about what he was reading. But he nodded anyway, smiling up at Dean.

“Almost there. How was the hunt?”

“Disgusting,” Dean told him. Jack frowned. It wasn’t unusual for Dean to find hunts disgusting. Come to think of it he had no idea what they’d been hunting. Neither Sam nor Dean had sent him any updates while they were gone.

“Oh. Well, I got the supplies,” Jack said, changing the topic when Dean wasn’t forthcoming with further information about the hunt. “Except for the beer.” That got Dean’s attention quickly and he opened his mouth to protest. “I didn’t have ID,” Jack informed him.

“You have tons of IDs!” Dean argued, clearly displeased. Jack wasn’t sure why this was a big deal. Yes, there had been beer on the list – twice! – but there was still plenty of beer in the fridge. It couldn’t have been that important.

“They’re fake,” Jack reminded Dean. Before Dean could argue further, Sam sat down at the table opposite him.

“Jack. Jack... listen.” Sam shot his brother a look who only lifted his eyebrows. “Dean and I, we - we want to talk to you about your powers.”

Jack tensed, his chest feeling tight. Had they met Eliot, Stacy and Max on the way here? Did they know? And why did this make Jack feel so uncomfortable? He had fixed it! Stacy was alright!

“W… what about them?” he asked, not sure he wanted to hear what they had to say.

“This hunt, we, uh... we didn't want you coming along because we didn't want you using them,” Dean explained. Jack looked at him, taken by surprise. Dean was visibly uncomfortable and he shuffled around a bit when Jack looked at him.

“Not yet. Not for now,” Sam added gently. “You know, you just got 'em back, Jack. We want to make sure you're comfortable with them again before you...” Sam trailed off.

“Before you go all X-Men,” Dean finished. Jack was momentarily confused by the reference. Dean still looked somewhat uneasy. “It was crappy of us not to tell you. You know, we were trying to be nice. 'Cause we care about you. But because we care about you, you deserve the truth,” he said.

“You understand that, Jack?” Sam wondered. Jack looked from Sam to Dean and then he turned his eyes down onto the table. So Dean and Sam hadn’t found out about the incident.

But the relief Jack felt was very short-lived. He couldn’t tell Dean and Sam about it or ask for advice. They didn’t want him to use his powers and he had used them. Of course, he had been in control, but still things had happened that he had not anticipated. Someone got hurt. Even though he had fixed it this time.

Maybe, Jack decided, it was best not to talk to them about it. Nothing had happened after all. Sure, the three didn’t want to see him anymore, but that wasn’t his fault, not really, was it?

There was no reason for Sam and Dean to worry, no reason for them to know. Because they would worry, if they knew. Maybe they’d be disappointed and maybe they’d not let him come with them anymore on hunts. And that made the irritating bubbling feeling inside of him get worse. No. No, they didn’t need to know.

“I understand,” Jack said and looked up at them with a smile. “I won’t use my powers without permission. Promise.”

Dean seemed somewhat reluctant for a second, but eventually he nodded.

“Great. And I guess I’ll go get some beer,” he said, before turning around and leaving again. The thought crossed Jack’s mind that Dean could run into Stacy, or Eliot, or Max and then they’d tell him everything about the incident. But then he recalled that Dean had a different store he liked to frequent when he was buying alcohol. It was probably alright. He forced himself to relax, a frown still on his brow due to that persistent, annoying feeling inside his chest.

When he looked up he found Sam studying him.

“What about anything else? You good? I mean, anything happen while we were gone?” he wanted to know.

“No. Nothing,” Jack quickly answered, hoping he had gotten a bit better at lying. There was one tense moment of silence, but eventually Sam nodded.

“Good,” he said. He then excused himself to put away their gear and get a shower. And finally Jack let go the breath he had been holding.

It was fine. They didn’t have to know.

Whatever Jack had been feeling about the incident, it calmed down eventually. Dean came back from the beer run and said nothing. They had dinner (Jack got to put the toppings on the pizza) and nobody asked. Dean and Sam didn’t know and it looked like Jack didn’t have to tell them. But a light uneasy feeling remained. No almost violent bubbling anymore that threatened to burst past the lid, just a low simmering worry. Because maybe one day Sam or Dean would cross paths with one of the teens. Or maybe Cas would. Or maybe Dean would ask him to go grocery shopping again (even though he would not be able to buy beer so maybe not). What then?

He couldn’t ask Sam or Dean for advice, because he had lied to them. He had used his powers and he had told Sam that nothing had happened. Jack had fixed it, but now that he had thought about it some more, he was pretty sure that it still counted as “something” to Sam. No… he couldn’t talk to them about it.

He would have to ask Cas.

It wasn’t like Cas to just take off without explanation and Jack was somewhat displeased with the reason Dean had given him. But he had sputtered indignantly when Jack asked if they had been fighting. So maybe Cas had indeed just not wanted to be cooped up in the Bunker. Sam had struggled with that too after the hunters from the other world had died, eager to flee the Bunker. Jack hadn’t thought it affected Cas much though because he had never mentioned it.

Jack… didn’t really feel much about it. Maybe he should be missing Maggie, he knew he would have, before… But right now? He felt nothing. He wondered what that said about his soul. He didn’t have enough soul to be sad, but enough to feel something about the incident? That didn’t seem right.

Jack was glad when Cas finally came back. The hum of the warding reacting to Cas was what alerted Jack to his presence and he looked at his bedroom door in anticipation. Usually, Cas said hello to Dean first, which was fine in normal circumstances, but right now Jack really had to see him.

He got up and poked his head out of the door, just in time to see Cas walking down the corridor towards him. Cas spotted him right away and he saw the way the tired expression on Cas’ face softened into a relieved smile.

“Jack, you’re still awake.”

“I don’t sleep much,” Jack said, stepping back into his room, letting Cas come in as well. “And I want to speak to you.”

“You do?” Cas asked and Jack nodded. He sat down on his bed and looked at Cas, who lingered by the door. Cas’ gaze however travelled from Jack to the wall behind him. Jack turned around and saw that Cas was looking at the empty space where Felix’ cage had been.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked when he noticed the pinched expression on Castiel’s face. Castiel heaved a sigh and closed the door behind him.

“Jack… I watched you kill the snake…” Jack tilted his head in confusion. “And to be honest Jack… That worried me.” Something dark flicked through Jack, disturbing the otherwise calm inside of him.

“Everybody’s worried,” he said, “it’s annoying.”

“You’re just like Dean. He tends to get annoyed too when people worry about him,” Castiel said with a small smile and somehow his words appeased Jack slightly. He did like being compared to Dean and coming from Cas, he knew he could take it as a compliment. Probably. “The thing is though, Jack… Seeing you kill the snake made me worried about your soul. I had to leave for a bit to find new information… And I didn’t want to worry Sam and Dean so I didn’t tell any of you about it…”

“Dean said if you care about someone you tell them the truth,” Jack informed him, in case Dean had never told him before, and Castiel nodded.

“Yes, he is right. I was afraid…,” Cas admitted with a smile.

“Of what?” Jack wanted to know.

“Of what it would do to us as a family if you really had no soul.”

“Oh.” Jack said, looking at his socked feet. “Actually… I did wonder about that too.” He looked up, studying Cas leaning against the door, his hands clasped in front of him, waiting patiently for Jack to find his words. “There was… an incident.” He quickly checked Cas’ expression to see if he had to rush through an explanation but even though Cas lifted his eyebrow, he didn’t look alarmed yet. That was good. “And it made me think of how I don’t feel grief… I don’t feel sad that those hunters from the other world died, even though I spent months fighting side by side with them in the other world. But even though I don’t feel anything about them, I feel something about the incident. I can’t tell Sam and Dean about it, because I lied. And now I feel…” Jack wrinkled his nose, trying hard to feel around the shape of that irritating something inside of him. With a sigh he settled on: “Bad.” He looked at Cas. “Isn’t that weird…? Why do I feel bad but don’t feel sadness?” Castiel thought about that for a while.

“Can you tell me about this incident?” he asked. Jack actually was relieved that he got permission to speak about it.

“Dean and Sam were on a hunt and they didn’t want me to come. But that’s beside the point,” he quickly added when Castiel opened his mouth. “Dean gave me a grocery list, so I went into town to buy things. There are these kids... Eliot, Stacy and Max.”

“Yes, the ones who stole Dean’s car,” Cas confirmed.

“That was Max. They invited me to… hang out. To chill with them. We got to talking about monsters. Well, Eliot and I mostly. And then I showed them an angel blade. I also used my powers, making the blade fly like I do with the pencil.” Castiel nodded, though his expression was somewhat less relaxed now. “The others got scared. I don’t understand why. I had it all under control. I was just making the blade fly. I don’t understand why Stacy ran away, but I didn’t react fast enough and she ran into the blade.”

“Oh, Jack…” Castiel started and Jack instantly hated that pitying tone.

“I fixed it!” Jack told him. “I healed her. I had it under control and I fixed it!”

“That’s good,” Cas said and Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

“But they still wanted me to go away… It’s hard to understand… And I knew that what happened was… not quite right, even though I fixed it. Because I couldn’t tell Sam and Dean and ask for advice. Especially when they told me they didn’t want me to use my power. They didn’t tell me before they left on the hunt. I didn’t know when I met Stacy, Max and Eliot to hang out. But I don’t think it would matter to them. They would probably look at me differently if I told them. Like I’m… dangerous or a monster.” Jack looked up at Cas, upset now. “I just want to do the right thing. I want to do what Sam and Dean would do, because they’re the best humans I know, surely they know what is right and wrong. That’s what I was thinking too when I sent Felix to Heaven. He was sad and not with his friend. I wanted to be kind.” Castiel walked over from where he was standing to wrap Jack in a tight hug.

“It’s okay,” Cas told him. Jack was surprised to realize how comforting and soothing it was to be hugged by him. Ever since he got his powers back, things had felt different and he had not even felt the need to get affection from his family. But this felt… good.

“Will I get into trouble? For using my powers?” Jack asked once Cas drew away a bit. He sat down on the bed next to Jack, turned towards him. Castiel shook his head, a small smile on his lips.

“No Jack… I will have to talk to Sam and Dean, but you’re not going to get into trouble,” he said.

“And what about my soul…? Did you find out anything while you were gone?”

“Yes. There’s not a lot of information about souls, because things like this… well, they usually don’t happen.” Jack sighed. “Even if souls are diminished, they don’t evaporate… And they have an incredible capacity for healing… If anything is left, Jack, then you will go back to normal in time.”

“But how can we know…?” Jack wondered.

“There’s a way to test, but it will be very uncomfortable,” Castiel told him. “I have to reach inside of you and feel your soul. It will hurt but you have to stay very still or it could harm us both.” Jack hesitated.

“You have done it before?”

“Yes… twice. Once to Sam, in case you want to wait for him to wake and talk to him about it,” Cas offered. Jack thought about that, but decided that he actually didn’t want to wait. Especially not if it was only to disappoint Sam and Dean if it was revealed that he did not have a soul.

“Do it, Cas,” Jack asked, breathing in deeply and lifting his chin. Castiel seemed somewhat reluctant, but eventually, he took off his trench coat, carefully folding it and setting it aside on Jack’s chair. Then he unbuttoned his cuffs and pushed the sleeves of his jacket and shirt up. He then stepped in front of Jack, putting his left hand on Jack’s shoulder, steadying him.

“Are you ready?” he asked and Jack nodded, somehow more curious than apprehensive of what was to happen. Maybe it was good not feeling all emotions. Cas breathed in, then he slowly pressed the tips of his fingers against Jack’s sternum. Nothing happened at first, but then suddenly he felt a sharp pain zing through him and then the sensations that followed were difficult to describe. The pain wasn’t as bad as he had imagined, human sensations most likely dulled by his powers, but it felt… weird. Castiel had his eyes closed, concentrating, but a little bit of Grace glowed from underneath his lashes. Jack felt that Cas was searching, more with his Grace rather than the tips of his fingers. Curiously, he let his own power glide over Cas’ presence. He was very warm and he felt just as safe as he had back when Jack had still been unborn, that one time he slipped from Kelly into Cas’ body. He watched Cas slowly open his eyes, his eyebrows creased as he studied Jack with eyes now glowing gold.

“Sorry,” Jack whispered but after a while Castiel slowly retreated, finally also removing his fingers from Jack’s chest. Jack felt a bit dazed and almost cold with the loss of contact. When he looked back up at Cas, he had put his coat back on.

“And?” Jack wondered. Castiel smiled.

“You still have a soul. It’s there, very small and in desperate need of being nurtured. I think your emotions will come back, but right now you’re focused on self-preservation.”

“And that’s good?”

“It’s not bad, Jack. You have the kind of soul that reminds me of a newborn,” Castiel told him with a smile.

“Well, I am 2,” Jack informed him in case Cas had forgotten. Castiel laughed at that, then he put his hand on Jack’s shoulder, his expression open and happy.

“Yes. And that means you need a bit more parenting, if you allow it.”

“Uhm… What does that mean? I don’t like you asking me if I’m alright all the time. It’s annoying,” he admitted.

“Yes, yes. I know. It just means we have to keep our eyes on you bit more. And communicate better. And maybe also give you a bit more obvious affection, even if you find it annoying.”

“I don’t find affection annoying,” Jack said indignantly, then he reached out and wrapped his arms around Cas. “See?” Cas patted Jack’ head. “What about my powers though?” he asked when he drew back again.

“We’ll talk to Sam and Dean but I think it’s best not to use them if you don’t have to. You can use them if you have to protect people. And if accidents happen, then we’ll deal with them together. Alright?”

“Hmm. Alright. Does that mean I have to deal with Stacy, Max and Eliot…? I do still feel kind of bad, even though I fixed it…”

“We can talk to them… But you shouldn’t get your hopes up that they will change their opinions,” Castiel said, then he rose from the bed. “Give them time to come around.”

“Okay,” Jack agreed, not too worried about it. Knowing that Cas told him it was okay, was enough for now to quiet the unsettling feeling inside of him. “Thanks, Cas.”

“You’re welcome. Now try to get some sleep. It’s late.” Jack was about to protest, because he didn’t need sleep, but decided against it. Maybe sleep would help his soul heal.

Jack was surprised to find that a good night’s rest did in fact do him good. He woke up feeling rested and calm. For a moment he lay in bed and tried to imagine himself as the dark center of the galaxy. It wasn’t exactly a disquieting feeling, quite comfortable after all.

But he was stirred out of his imagination by sounds carrying through the corridor. Right! Sam and Dean must be awake. Jack got up and wandered towards the kitchen, not bothering to change out of his pyjamas yet. If no hunt was scheduled (and it seemed like there would not be for a while when it got to him) then Dean also wore his pyjamas around the Bunker after all. It would be fine.

Jack found Sam, Dean and Cas in the kitchen, Dean cooking, while Sam and Cas were sitting at the table. All looked up when Jack walked into the room, which made him stop, suddenly feeling like… what was the expression? A deer caught in headlights.

“Uhm…” Jack lifted his hand in greeting. “Good morning!”

“Hey kid!” Dean said, the first to shake himself out of staring, for which Jack was grateful for. Being here in the kitchen had certainly disturbed the calm feeling he had tried to dive into after waking up. He was nervous, somehow, because he wasn’t sure what he could expect of Dean and Sam. Cas had promise to talk to them. Did he? Would Jack have to say anything?

Apparently picking up on the awkwardness, Dean put away his pan and wiped his hands on his apron. “So… Cas told us everything. Uh… Why don’t you take a seat?” Jack followed the direction, sitting down at the table next to Cas. “Don’t look that spooked. You’re not in any trouble.”

“That’s good because I tried to fix it! And I did it before you told me about my powers,” Jack blurted out. He saw Sam lift his hand out of the corner of his eye and looked at him.

“It’s fine, Jack,” he assured him. Jack breathed in deeply and then he turned his attention back to Dean who had started putting food on plates.

“You know… I’m not really good at… the touchy feeling stuff and being a good dad or whatever,” Dean said, visibly uncomfortable. Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “But Cas said that nurturing was important now so…” Dean took the plate and then walked around the island to put in down on the table in front of Jack “I made you pancakes.” Jack looked up at him in awe. Pancakes were for special occasions.

“Thank you,” he said, meaning it. Dean still looked somewhat uncomfortable, but then he bent down and give Jack a quick hug. Then he walked away and sat down opposite Cas, instantly hiding any and all expression on his face behind a cup of coffee. Sam got up as well and Jack was happy to receive another hug. That was rare for Sam and Dean, but Jack did quite like it.

“You should always feel comfortable about coming to talk to us. No matter what. Even, or maybe especially, if you think you might be in trouble,” Sam told him. “And we’re sorry that we left you alone. We shouldn’t have.”

“Oh… That was alright, I didn’t mind.”

“Nah, it wasn’t good. You are a kid, Jack,” Dean told him, then he raised his eyes to look at Cas. “Besides, Cas was pissed.”

“You were?” Jack asked in surprise, momentarily distracted from eating his pancakes even though he really wanted to eat them. Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean, but then directed a smile at Jack.

“We should do our parenting together, which means that Sam and Dean can’t just leave you alone without consulting with me first. I would have said no.” Jack shrugged, not really understanding the issue, but he had more important matters to attend to now; his pancakes.

It was late afternoon by the time Cas decided they would drive into Lebanon. Jack put on his backpack, but then stood next to Castiel’s car for a moment.

“Jack?”

“I think I’m nervous,” Jack said, tilting his head. “It doesn’t feel comfortable.” He turned his head towards Cas, frowning. “I don’t understand why I have to feel those emotions. It’s rather inconvenient.”

“It’s fine, kid,” Dean said, getting into the car next to Cas. He had invited himself to their drive into town, because he had to get “stuff”. “Cas is an angel and he also gets nervous.” Jack caught the disapproving expression Cas sent Dean, then he got into the car as well to catch what Cas was saying:

“You make it sound like I don’t feel any emotions,” he said. “I might not have a soul but I do have feelings.” Dean sent Cas a wide eyed, disbelieving look.

“Maybe you should also be affectionate with Cas,” Jack suggested, breaking through their extended staring at each other. That shocked Dean out of it and he whirled around to glare at Jack, face red.

“Thank you, Jack. That is very good advice. Please be affectionate with me,” Cas said firmly before Dean could say anything to Jack, then he turned the key in the ignition. Pop music came from the radio, drowning out Dean’s defeated “oh my god”. He slumped down in his seat, rubbing his face with his palms, but eventually he did extend one hand to drop it on Cas shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

They dropped Dean off at town with the instructions to call once he was done running his errands. Jack felt unsettled as he guided Cas towards the abandoned place where the kids in town used to hang out. He wasn’t sure if he’d find Stacy, Max or Eliot there and he almost wished they’d find it sitting dark and empty in the progressing afternoon. But they took the turn onto the uneven gravel driveway leading to the old farm and it was clear that someone was home. Through the window, he could see Eliot pacing, gesticulating. He seemed cheerful. Was Jack going to ruin that, again?

“How about I go talk to them. You can stay at the door and listen,“ Cas suggested. A part of Jack wanted to argue, because clearly this was something he had to continue to fix, but a bigger part of him wanted to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation, especially considering that he didn’t know how his emotions would react.

“Yes,” Jack said and lingered behind. “Thanks, Cas.” Castiel sent him a smile, then he walked up to the door and knocked politely. From his place by the car (Jack had yet to come closer), he could see Eliot stop his pacing. He seemed unsure, but eventually he went to the door. Eliot’s face when he saw Cas was almost funny. It was a mix of surprise but also fear, but clearly he didn’t quite dare to slam the door in Cas’ face because Cas was a grown up. He didn’t look as grown up as Dean and Sam did when they wore their FBI uniforms to stare at people through doors, but he still looked imposing.

“Hello,” Castiel greeted. “My name is Castiel.”

“You’re… you’re Sam and Dean’s weird sidekick with the trench coat,” Eliot blurted out, wincing at once because even though Jack didn’t have a fully functioning soul, he knew that was probably kind of rude. Not the worst thing that Jack had ever heard people say to Cas though and Castiel merely nodded slowly, his lips pulled into a somewhat flat smile. Someone from inside hissed “oh my god, Eliot!” but was quickly shushed.

“So, uh… Mister Castiel. What can I do for you?” Eliot said, wiggling around a bit before he finally straightened to his full height. Since there was a step up to the door, he actually could look down at Cas now.

“Jack told me what happened and I wanted to make sure that Stacy is alright and that he healed her properly,” Castiel told him. Jack frowned. Of course he had healed her properly!

“Are you a doctor?”

“No, I’m an angel of the Lord,” Castiel informed him. Eliot stared, but apparently that had caught the interested of Max, who was approaching now.

“An angel? Was that your blade Jack hurt Stacy with?”

“Oh, no. That was the blade of one of my fallen brothers. If an angel is killed with its blade manifested, it will remain in this realm.”

“Cool! It’s like a harvestable item,” Eliot said, which had Max roll her eyes.

“Come in,” Max decided, pushing Eliot out of the way so Cas could enter. Once the door was closed, Jack crept a bit closer so he could peek into the house through a window. Sound was no issue, since he heard better than he used to as a human.

Stacy was standing up now, her arms crossed defensively. Max went to stand next to her while Eliot hovered close to Cas. He didn’t wear the same excited look of awe as he had before the incident. Jack knew that angels weren’t that amazing as far as monsters were concerned, but it felt almost rude to Cas for him not to be excited.

“I only need to touch my fingers to your forehead,” Cas told Stacy. She hesitated but eventually she nodded and took a step forward. Cas raised his fingers and pressed the tips to her skin.

“Everything’s okay,” Castiel said after a moment, taking a step back. “Jack healed you properly.” Max sighed in relief, taking Stacy’s hand.

“Jack is dangerous,” Max said. “We told him to stop because him sending the blade flying around like that got scary after a while, but he didn’t.”

“Because I had it under control,” Jack muttered to himself.

“I understand. That must have been unsettling… Jack isn’t human. And he has a hard time judging his powers because he’s still a child,” Castiel explained.

“He’s 22!” Max argued.

“Oh no… He’s 2,” Castiel said. Jack was glad the truth was out. He really hated lying. Though the shocked faces of the teens were somewhat unnerving. Cas laughed softly.

“I’m sorry… It’s a long story… But there’s a lot about the world of supernatural creatures that is confusing or upsetting. And scary as well. There are a lot of monsters out there that want to hurt those weaker than them. But Jack’s not one of them. It was truly an accident,” Cas promised. The kids seemed torn hearing that. “Jack is still learning and he should not have been in town without parental supervision. I’m very sorry that you got hurt, Stacy.”

“I… uh… thank you,” Stacy said. Cas nodded.

“Jack will stay away from you, unless you wish to change that. But he might accompany me or Sam and Dean into town and I wanted to make sure that you have no reason to be afraid of him,” he promised.

“Okay… I guess if an angel says so, it must be true,” Max said, which received agreement from her friends. “Thank you, Mister Castiel.”

“Cas is fine,” Castiel told them, then he wished them a good evening. Eliot accompanied him to the door. Alarmed, Jack dashed away from his hiding place, to hide behind the car instead.

“Uhm… if you are an angel… Do you have a halo? Wings? A harp?” Eliot asked before Cas could say good-bye.

“I don’t have a harp. But yes, I do have a halo and I have wings,” Castiel told him patiently and when Jack peeked around the corner of the car he could finally see an awed smile on Eliot’s face.

“Awesome,” he said. “Can I… Uh, can I get a feather or something cool?”

“Unfortunately, my wings were damaged some years ago and they’re still healing. The feathers haven’t grown back yet,” Castiel answered regretfully. “But I can give you one of Jack’s feathers if you want.”

“Jack has feathers?” Eliot asked. “What is he anyway?”

“He’s a Nephilim, the offspring of an angel and a human,” Cas explained, “with very impressive golden wings.” Castiel reached into his trench coat and retrieved a long golden feather. Jack had no idea Cas had collected one of them. Eliot took it with awe.

“Whoa! Thanks!”

“You’re welcome. Good-bye,” Castiel said. Eliot nodded, then he closed the door. Deeming it safe, Jack stood up, looking at the window, where he could see Eliot showing the girls the feather.

“I think that went well,” Cas said, coming to stand next to Jack, his hands in his pockets. “Though now I no longer have one of your feathers.”

“I’ll give you a new one,” Jack said, smiling at Cas. “Thank you, by the way.” Castiel lifted his arm and Jack went to him, letting himself be hugged. That feeling inside of Jack, the uncomfortable one that felt like boiling water in a pot, had calmed down. He felt… good. Yes, he felt good. Happy even.

“You’re very welcome,” Cas said, then he gave Jack a pat on the back before he got into the car. Jack looked at the house, listening to the three talk a while longer, with a smile on his face.

They picked Dean up from town a bit later.

“How did it go?” he wondered.

“Well! I’m not sure if they will talk to me again, but I feel much lighter now.”

“Good,” Dean said, then he looked at Cas. “That’s good right?”

“Yes, I’d say so. Just from a parental perspective, I feel this was a good moment.”

“Aw, look at you, Dadstiel,” Dean joked, then he went to fiddle with Cas’ radio, clearly displeased by Cas’ choice of music.

“You know, when we were leaving I heard Stacy, Max and Eliot guessing if it was Sam or Dean who had got it on with Cas. What did they mean?” Jack asked when they were driving back to the Bunker. Dean made a weird sound. “What does “get it on” mean?”

“It means have sex,” Cas explained. “Based on context they must have assumed that you were my offspring together with either Sam and Dean.”

“Oh, I see!” Jack said. The thought pleased him somewhat, but he was happy with the kind of family they did have, whether they were related or not. As far as he was concerned, Sam, Dean and Cas were all his dads.

“Obviously, I’m the superior choice,” Dean joked. “But they were making a joke. We’re all dudes.”

“I’m an angel, not a dude. It’s surprising that three children who have only just learned that I’m an angel understand that better than you,” Castiel quipped. They had reached the Bunker, but Dean had very firm rules about Cas’ piece of shit cars not being allowed into the Bunker’s garage, so they parked outside. Jack went to grab the groceries.

“Excuse me, I’m the one who saw you naked,” Dean argued, closing the car door. “If there was something weird going on down there, I’d know it!” Castiel rolled his eyes.

“Could you have Dean’s offspring, Cas?” Jack wondered, before Dean and Cas could continue to bicker. Dean almost stumbled down the stairs to the bunker door, but caught himself.

“Cat like reflexes!” he said, quite flustered, when Cas asked him if he was alright. But instead of going inside, he stalled, fiddling with the key. Castiel lifted his eyebrow at him. “The kid just took me by surprise!”

“Why?” Jack asked.

“I gave you the talk. You know where babies come from!” Dean said, then he jammed the key into the lock and finally opened the door.

“Yes, but what about supernatural pregnancies? How do angels procreate?” Jack asked, following Dean swiftly, even though it seemed like Dean was trying to outrun his questions. Jack put down the groceries on the kitchen counter.

Castiel chuckled when he came into the kitchen and Dean frowned at him.

“Stop laughing, you dick,” he grumbled, putting away the groceries.

“Don’t worry, Dean. As far as I can tell it’d require intricate rituals for us to create offspring. I have plenty of space inside of me for a child but it’s tricky to get it in there,” Cas said and Dean groaned.

“I can’t tell if you’re joking,” he grumbled. Jack watched Castiel approach Dean, a smile on his face as he put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. He then started helping Dean put the groceries away, the two of them moving like a well-trained team. Almost like Sam and Dean, though Sam and Dean never quite got the hang of working together in the kitchen.

Maybe he had no soul, but he still felt warm inside his chest. He was happy. Maybe other emotions would come later, maybe grief and sadness, anger and disappointment… all those things he had felt once would probably come back in time.

But until then, he was content to feel what he felt now, with his family.

“Well. I think you should make a baby. It would probably be very good for my development to have a sibling,” Jack told Dean and Cas, grinning widely.

Dean threw his dish towel at him.