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Tommy woke up to his phone ringing.
Yawning, he reached over and picked it up, recognising who it was off of tone rather than actually glancing at the screen, “Wilbur?” There was an odd sound. Later, he’d realise it was a sob. “Why are you calling?”
“Wilbur?” The voices of the rest of the SMP chat all filtered in, and Tommy pulled himself upright in bed. What is this? What’s going on? All of a sudden, he was very, very much not asleep.
“Wilbur?” A few other voices—Phil, Tubbo, Techno, even Dream and Sanpap and George—chimed in. What’s going on. What is this. What’s happening what’s happening what—
“Wilbur, what’s wrong?” Phil asked softly, and Wilbur sniffed. Running a hand over his face, he took a breath. “Wilbur, is everything alright? Where are you, why are you calling?” In the hallway outside, pounding footsteps echoed over the wooden planks. “Wilbur, where are you?”
“You’re not going to find me. It’s okay.”
“Wilbur, what are you doing?”
For a long moment, Wilbur didn’t say anything.
Please don’t be dead please don’t be dead please don’t be dead. Shuddery breaths shook their way through Tommy’s chest, tore at his throat. Every single word that came to mind refused to go, stuck at something in his throat. A few shaky sobs made their way through the phone. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” As Wilbur kept rambling, going through one apology after another, Tommy felt his heart twisting. This couldn’t be happening. No. No, no, please, Wilbur please. “I’m sorry, I can’t—Tommy, Tubbo, you need to get off this call you need to get off this call right now I can’t have you here I don’t want you to hear this please—”
“No, we’re not leaving.” Tommy said firmly. On the other side of the line, he could hear Wilbur choke out a sob.
Then, he rasped, “Please. Tommy, Tubbo, I don’t—I don’t want you to hear this. Sapnap, you, too. I need you to get off—”
“Listen to me, Wilbur—” Techno kept talking, a tone to his voice that Tommy had never heard. “We are not leaving you. No one is leaving you. Where are you?”
“I can’t have them here—”
“Wilbur, I don’t know what you’re going through but listen to us.” Techno’s voice was much stronger than anything else. Heart pounding, Tommy pulled his knees “We love you, Wilbur. Do you understand that?”
“I-I know that—”
“No. Do you understand that? I don’t need you to hear it, I don’t need you to see it. I need you to believe it. I need you to understand it.” Techno repeated. Through the phone, Tommy could hear quick directions. George. Car wheels roared against asphalt. “Wilbur. Please say something.”
“Wilbur, tell me you’re still here.” Tubbo’s voice broke the silence, and Wilbur sniffed again.
“I’m here…” Trailing off, he choked out yet another sob. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I can’t—I just can’t do this anymore. Tubbo, Tommy, please, I need you to go.”
“Promise us you won’t do anything reckless until we’re there.” Techno ordered. When Wilbur hesitated, he repeated, “Wilbur. Don’t—do—anything—reckless. Promise me.”
“I-I’m sorry.” There was a rush of wind, and Tommy heard the dim sound of a splash. Everything rushed in on him all at once as he realised what that meant. No. No, no no, no no nonononononono—Something built up in his throat, and the whole world seemed to shake around him. No. Please. No.
He screamed.
+++
“Tommy, Tommy, wake up!”
Screaming, Tommy flailed around, felt the world shift around him as he tipped and fell. Pain snapped through his shoulder as it banged into the wood below him, and he laid there, stunned, for a second. His chest wasn’t working right. He couldn’t breathe. “Tommy, Tommy, everything’s okay.” Above him, shadows danced on the ceiling. Everything was switching in and out of focus, his shoulder hurt and his heart was twisting in his throat even as it stumbled along at too fast of a pace. Heat trailed down the sides of his head from the corners of his eyes—he was crying.
Hands touched the sides of his head, felt around like they were checking for injuries. The blankets were wrapped around him, and he kicked weakly, sobbing. “Tommy, what’s wrong?” A voice he desperately wanted to ask. Dragging himself upright, Tommy grabbed onto Wilbur, like the man was his lifeline. Arms wrapped around him, and there was very little hesitation before Tommy had buried his head into the crook of Wilbur’s neck. “Hey, hey. Ssh, ssh, it’s alright. It’s alright, everything’s okay. It was just a nightmare.”
“Wil—Wilbur.” Clutching onto him, Tommy cried even more. A blanket was wrapped around his shoulders, and he closed his eyes as tightly as possible. He was still crying. Of course he was. “I tho—thought you di-died.”
“What? I’d never leave you, what are you talking about.” Wilbur reassured. Everything kept narrowing in and out, but he could dimly make out Phil and Techno behind Wilbur, staying close enough to step in if they were needed.
“But you did. You almost did.” Gasping, Tommy forced out, clinging to his jacket, words that none of them had really said, “You almost did you almost jumped—jumped off that—that bridge—you almost did you almost did you almost did—” Wilbur’s grip on him tightened, and he felt a chin resting on his hair. “You almost jumped. You almost jumped.” He kept repeating that, again and again. As if it would change anything. As if it would do something to change that night.
“I know. I know. That happened.” Clinging to Tommy a little tighter, Wilbur reassured, “I’m not planning on doing that again. Okay? I’ve got something this time, I’ve got people to live for. Alright?”
Shaking, Tommy nodded, and Wilbur sat back on his heels and held onto Tommy’s shoulders. It was almost a death grip. For a long moment, they sat there, holding each other’s gazes.
Then, Techno cleared his throat. “Why don’t we get something to eat? Just since we’re up and everything.” Nodding, Wilbur slowly helped Tommy upright.
“Yeah. Yeah, let’s just…” Tommy felt Wilbur sling an arm over his shoulders, felt the man start guiding him towards the kitchen.