Work Text:
Zoro has never hated a gift so much. He never gives Sanji anything, and when he does, it results in a tremendous headache. Not because the cook had hated it, on the contrary, Zoro hates the fact that Sanji liked it so much.
After all, Zoro gave that thing to Sanji precisely because it was horrible.
In the middle of Halloween, he won the object as a consolation prize after losing to Usopp in a target shooting booth whose unbearable owner enjoyed giving the participants cute prizes. She said that he could keep it since he had lost to his friend, but still hit a reasonable number of targets. Zoro hadn't known on what planet such an ugly ghost with a giant tongue sticking out of its mouth would be considered cute, still doesn't, but he took the prize anyway.
So he just came home and threw the thing on Sanji's lap saying Cook. Gift. And he hoped the bastard would start complaining, or throw the plushie back at his face, but he definitely didn't expect that, he didn't expect Sanji to actually sleep with it.
On the first night, he thought Sanji was pranking him out of revenge for getting such a hideous thing. A way to teach Zoro a lesson by replacing him with his own ugly gift at bedtime.
It had been annoying, of course, especially because of the way he'd grabbed the stuffed animal using his whole body. But the stupid cook had already done much more irritating things, Zoro could take it just for one night without losing his patience.
Over time, however, Zoro realized that Sanji never lets go that ghost. As soon as he reads a few pages of his book and restes his reading glasses on the nightstand, the cook's hands stop right at that thing, grabbing the ghost tightly with his whole body in a loving embrace. The long legs hold the plush firmly and Sanji buries his face in it to sleep, turning his back to Zoro.
It's unbearable.
Currently, Zoro hates even looking at that thing on their bed, its creepy eyes staring at him as if they're celebrating its victory.
He needs a way to get Sanji to get rid of it, without being exactly sincere about why, of course. But it's not like he could just hide a giant thing like that without Sanji finding out.
Still, every time he's in bed he throws the stuffed animal on the floor, not really reflecting on how childish he's being.
And every time Sanji puts it back on the bed it annoys Zoro even more. As if the cook can't sleep without that ugly, stupid thing.
"This ghost is too big. It gets in the way." Zoro finally tries to say one night without showing all his hatred for the plush.
"The bed is spacious enough, marimo, stop complaining." Sanji says and Zoro knows he's right, which doesn't mean he's going to be less pissed about it.
He's silent for a few more seconds before giving up and muttering grumpily his real implication with the ghost.
"You don't even hug me anymore."
"If it bothers you so much, why don't you hug me?" Sanji countered.
"Because you're still gonna be glued to that." Zoro is very close to pouting, but he isn't going to stoop to such nonsense.
"And?!!"
"You're mine."
Sanji's silent for a moment.
"Marimo... It's a...plushie." The blond looks very confused.
"Doesn't fucking matter."
"Sometimes I can't believe I married you." The laughter contained in his husband's speech doesn't go unnoticed by Zoro.
He just keeps grumbling with his arms crossed, staring at the ceiling with a horrible scowl.
"Are you afraid he'll be better in bed than you, hm?" Sanji says rubbing the plush in an obscene way, succeeding in getting Zoro to finally face him to shoot daggers at him and the ghost
Sanji just smiles and unties his legs from plush, placing it carefully behind him while hugging Zoro in place.
"You gave it to me, idiot." Sanji started and his tone seemed strangely embarrassed to someone who had been teasing him for seconds. "I just... thought I would like it if I slept with it."
Sanji's breath tickled Zoro's exposed skin as the cook muttered the words, but that wasn't why Zoro had shivered.
"Your legs are mine, it can have the arms." Zoro finally gave in.
Sanji's too cute when he's sincere for him to ever be able to refuse.