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Death takes on many forms.
Sometimes it is a mere shadow in the dark corners. Other times it comes as an undesired surprise. Or scorching explosions and solidified figures.
And sometimes it comes in the shape of warm sunsets and soft embraces. It is a familiar stranger. It is drifting away in a dark abyss. It is Peaceful.
But it is always inevitable. Always.
Some people cower away from death, frightened by its mere presence in life. Some people refuse to acknowledge it; they deny it. Then there are the people who look the Grim Reaper in the eye and whisper, boldly, don’t you dare.
Tony Stark has long accepted his mortality. He has embraced it and dreaded it, at the same time, his whole life. But he never denied it. His end will come eventually.
And yet, every time the hooded, scythe-bearing figure came to collect Tony’s soul, he had challenged it.
Tony Stark has left some marks on the world but in the end, the final mark is the one that matters.
***
Year: 2008
The first time Tony had a meeting with death, it came from a scorching explosion, accompanied by white, hot pain in his chest. He woke up to the burning sensation caused by the shrapnel in his chest.
He reared back, stricken by the unadulterated panic and confusion. It was in his hysteric state of mind that Death approached him for the first time. It was just a dark figure observing Tony silently but it was enough to stop Tony in his tracks.
Death was calm __ firm __ but calm nevertheless. “You will live.” Death had said, and Tony blinked and it was gone, leaving him to his agonized screams of pain.
Tony would later endure three months of captivity and torture in a cave, thousands of miles away from his home. But it was during that time that Tony’s world would be turned upside down. After all that, he would emerge as a new man; as Iron Man.
***
Year: 2010
The second time Death appeared, Tony felt its familiar stranger presence, it did not show itself immediately, but Tony was a little more familiar with it. Its presence was just as perfidious and elusive as the poison running in Tony’s veins.
Palladium poisoning.
After all the ordeals he went through __ captivity, torture, and fights __ he would die in one of the most mundane ways. Slow and painful.
The device he had built to save his life was now slowly killing him. The universe was surely laughing at how poetic it is; killed by his own technology, voluntarily injecting poison into his heart.
Tony had tried every known element, every combination, and made models and diagrams to try and replace Palladium. Nothing worked. He had accepted that this was going to be his end, so he did the only thing he knew he had to do: He secured his legacy.
He made his __ very competent __ personal assistant, Pepper, the CEO of his company. He let his best friend, Rhodey, take his own Iron Man suit; because if the Government was to weaponize Tony’s suits, he knew Rhodey would make sure it was used for good.
If the great Tony Stark was going to leave this world, he will do whatever it takes to make it a better place.
After all of that was said and done, Tony figured he would have some fun during his last numbered days on this blue planet.
So he became reckless, self-destructive. Who cares if his end was near, anyways?
But he had people who he cared for; so he did the only good thing he knew: he distanced himself from them, with wild, drunk parties and stupid behaviours and comments he did not mean. He did it to protect them from the pain of his death, but it was not enough. He was never good enough.
Death met Tony while he was arguing with Nick Fury in his workshop. Nick and Death’s words were the same, but somehow Death’s were more firm and powerful.
“So what now, you’re going to throw away this gift that you have?” Death scoffed, “Just like that?”
Tony grew tired of repeating himself, “I tried everything, nothing works!”
Death shook its head, patronizingly, “Try harder. It’s not your time, yet.”
Tony crossed his arms above his chest and huffed angrily, “Why do you even care? Your job is literally to ‘collect my soul’ or whatever, I’d think you would want your job to be easy and quick.”
Instead of an answer, Death looked at him, patiently, and repeated, “It’s not your time yet.” It stepped back and faded into nothing.
Suddenly, a stroke of genius hit him. He got to work.
When he had the results, he stared at it in awe; the answer was in front of him: he created a New Element.
So, Death was right, it was not Tony’s time, yet.
***
Year: 2012
The third time Tony was met with Death, it was in the form of a solidified figure; a missile in his hands, and the safety of the world resting on his shoulders.
Death was still present. Tony caught a glimpse of it as he soared through the sky and Death seemed… proud? But Tony did not give it any more attention, instead, he focused on his task.
As he guided the nuke through the wormhole in the sky, he felt a strange sensation in his chest; it was peaceful. Maybe this was what dying felt like? In the corner of his eye, Tony saw Death shaking its head.
Suddenly that peaceful sensation was replaced with utter and complete terror as he let go of the nuke, letting it hit the aliens’ mothership.
It did not matter that his task was now done, Tony felt his body freeze in horror at the scene in front of him. He did not completely understand it, but he knew whatever it was, it was the Endgame. And that terrified him.
Tony’s last thought before drifting away was of Pepper and all the people he loved that he would be leaving behind.
A soft whisper echoed around him, “Not yet.”
***
Year: 2016
Tony would not meet Death for another four years. This time, Death came as an undesired surprise.
Siberia. A place Tony grew to hate after his fight with Steve Rogers; a fellow Avenger and teammate, a man he considered to be his friend and trusted with his life, but all that changed when Steve tried to kill him.
Tony stared at Steve as he towered over him, his shield above his head, ready to penetrate Tony’s Iron Man suit. Steve’s blue eyes were the eyes of a mad man. It was an odd look, Tony was used to seeing Steve’s eyes dancing with glee and almost euphoric with laughter. But now they were ice-cold, they lost their happy spark. They were just as merciless as people used to describe the man during the war.
The red, white, and blue-coloured shield tore through Tony’s heart from betrayal. At the same time, it tore his suit. At that moment, Tony was sure this was the end. It could not get any worse than that: killed at the hands of his friend.
Shockingly, Steve was able to pry himself off before he actually tore all the way through Tony’s suit and into his flesh, effectively stopping his heartbeat.
Tony watched in terror and pain as Steve rose to his feet, leaving his shield to clatter on the ground. That day, Tony added another betrayal to his long list.
Through the whole ordeal, Death stood by, a passive observer. Tony could see a glimpse of sorrow beneath the black hood. And they both knew that it was not his time yet. The great Tony Stark will not die in a remote Siberian bunker.
***
Year: 2018
The next time Death visited, Tony was ready. He knew this rendezvous was coming, he saw it written in the stars when he flew that nuke through the wormhole. For six years, he thought he was ready for this encounter, but he had yet to learn how cruel and unforgiving fate and Death could be.
Thanos plunged the blade through Tony’s side and pain immediately shot through Tony’s body. He saw a dark shadow in the distance, contrasting the orange-coloured planet. Without having to have a better look, Tony knew it was Death. His end was finally here. He took despondent breaths, waiting for the final moment.
He accepted that he was going to die. At least he was dying for the benefit of the universe’s survival. Peter would get to grow up in a peaceful world. Tony would give his life without question if it meant Peter would get a chance at life. It was something worth dying for.
His only regret is that he would never get to marry Pepper. Never have the child he dreamed about. Never see Peter graduate, get married and have his own kids. He finally had the life he wanted and now it was all going away, fading with his consciousness. But still, he accepted his end.
His eyes found Peter’s across the orange field. His brown curls were wild, his cheeks were flushed from the fight and he could see the tears running down. His heart ached at the sight of his hurt expression. His kid was having to witness the death of another parental figure. Tony tried to bestow all the love he felt for him in a faint smile. ‘All of this is for you, kid.’
But something was not right.
He could still see Death’s dark shadow looming in the distance, but it was not solidifying. Its presence was somehow unfamiliar to Tony despite his many encounters with Death.
Tony could faintly hear Death’s words echoing around him, “Not yet.”
“What do you mean?” Tony asked it. Instead of an answer, Death’s shadow disintegrated, but his presence never left.
“Spare his life, and I’ll give you the stone.” Tony looked up in horror at Doctor Strange, holding the time stone. Tony wanted to shout and protest, but all that came out was a croaked,
“ Don’t. ”
Tony could not prevent it. Thanos disappeared with the Time Stone. The prospect of Tony’s death ebbed away, but it did not stop the erratic beating of his heart or the premonition in the air around them.
Somehow, Tony knew something so much worse than death was on the horizon. Death had always showed Tony patience, irritation, anger, sadness, and sometimes it was proud, but Death never showed him pity, but even in its shadowy figure, Tony could see its pitiful expression.
Moments later, When Peter stumbled toward him crying out in confusion and horror, that was the strongest Tony had ever felt Death’s presence, and it was the most Tony had dreaded Death.
Tony felt his heart stop with panic when the realization crashed upon him. For the first time, Tony begged Death, “Please anyone but him. Don’t take him!”
His words were not heeded.
Tony had never loathed Death this much. He held nukes and buildings and entire cities above his head. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and the burden of a legacy. But nothing __ nothing __ was heavier than Peter’s smaller body , it was a weight he could never handle.
When Peter crumpled into ash on the ground, so did Tony’s heart.
Death kept staring at him through all that moment with pity, “I’m sorry.” It was the most genuine apology Tony had ever heard, but no words would come out his mouth. He felt his body go numb with the emotional toll. His child was gone, taken away by the same presence that had haunted Tony for the last ten years.
When Death faded away, Tony had almost willed it back, maybe then, it would take Tony, too.
But no such mercy and justice existed in this universe. Tony’s worst nightmare had come true: being the Survivor.
Tony thought bitterly about how everything he touches, crumbles. Even the divine would tarnish with his touch.
It started with a company designed to aid others, innovate, build a better future, but turning into a war machine under Tony’s leadership. It was a bot called Ultron, a machine built to protect the world, turning into a menace bot, hell-bent on destroying the world in a twisted version of Tony’s vision of a safer planet. It was a group of misfit heroes that called themselves The Avengers , falling apart with Tony’s inputs and ideas. But the worst of all of them was Peter, a kind, vibrant, intelligent kid, crumbling in Tony’s arms as Tony watched helplessly.
Maybe, Tony and Death were not so different, after all.
***
Year: 2018 (23 days later…)
Death does not discriminate between the young and old, the sinners and saints. Every victim was under Thanos’ “mercy” and was sacrificed “for the greater good of the universe.”
Tony was the subject to Thanos’ worst kind of mercy; He lived.
Adrift in the expanse of space, he could not stop his brain from wandering off to the wormhole. Was this what he saw written in the stars all these years ago?
Tony’s stab wound had not healed yet, it only seemed to get worse; a cruel reminder of his failure. His failure to protect his family. After being stranded in a spaceship, thousands of lightyears away from Earth, for twenty-two days, Tony accepted his cold, heinous end. Death came in a form of a black abyss lit up by millions of stars.
He recorded a message for Pepper, praying that she was still alive. He laid down on the floor of the cockpit, staring off into the dark abyss. He saw Death approach him. Tony did not spare it a glance, he accepted his fate, and he longed for Death to come and claim his soul. No more responsibilities, no pain or hurt, and no burdens. Just the sweet relief of Death.
But Death was not fair. Tony’s life was not this easy,
Death came for him, determined, “Not yet,” It prodded Tony, “Get up,” its tone reminded Tony of Pepper’s no-nonsense tone she used on him when she rebuked him for something stupid he had done.
Tony could not care less. He had endured the weight of the world and legacies on his shoulders all his life. The weight of a dying child in his arms. He deserved some rest and selfishness.
But Death was ruthless. It badgered Tony. “Get up! The great Tony Stark does not give up. Weren’t you made for more? The Merchant of Death?”
Tony distantly knew he should scream and shout at Death for what it had taken from him. Fight and challenge Death just like he had been doing for ten years, but this time on Peter’s behalf. But he felt drained of all emotions. He was numb. Tired. He could not bear any more burdens or fights.
Tony looked up at death, his face blank, not conveying any emotions. Surprisingly, Death’s features softened. It did not look sympathetic, but understanding.
“If you want to see Peter, then you’ll get up.” It said.
Tony supported himself on his elbow. Death looked confident, it knew it won. Death knew to hit where it hurts. It faded away, mixing with the abyss of space. Tony’s eye lingered on the area Death vacated, the possibility of having Peter back was enough to force himself up.
***
Year: 2023
The final time Tony met Death, it was somehow peaceful. Warm embraces and a soft sunset over the horizon of the battlefield.
He lived happily for five years. But he was still burdened with the weight of his failures. Not a day went by that he did not mourn Peter’s death. But still, he found a semblance of happiness. He had Pepper and Morgan. Rhodey and Happy. Domestic contentment.
It would have been so much better if the price for this peace of mind was not Peter’s death.
After mourning him for five years, there was finally a glimmer of hope. The life he had always hoped for with almost in his grasp. His kids both happy and alive and everyone he loved would be okay.
But they had to win first.
Every time Death approached, Tony was willing to let it claim his soul. But this time, he wanted to get back home to his daughter. To see Peter graduate high school. To live life.
But he subconsciously knew his wish would not come true. Destiny had written his life as a doomed war martyr. He always viewed his fate as a protector of others, and he was willing to fulfil his life’s mission.
Now, though, his life had a meaning. He could not throw it away each time the universe required his sacrifice.
“I don’t want to die.” the phrase kept repeating itself in his mind as he fought the greatest battle of his life.
Death was a looming presence. Tony caught glimpses of it through the wreckage and fighting. The more the battle progressed, the more Tony felt Death’s presence.
After all the times Tony challenged, wanted it, sometimes even longed for it , Death stayed back. Now that Tony dreaded it and willed it away, Death challenged him back. And maybe, this was the lesson he should learn: Death comes for those who dread it. It is unfair like that.
Tony found Death from across the battlefield. Its expression was not one of victory or defeat. It was a simple smile. Finality. The conclusion.
Tony took his eyes off of Death. But its presence was near, counting down the seconds till the end.
Everything just happened quickly. One moment Thanos was fighting against Captain Marvel, then one moment he had the gauntlet. Tony’s eyes locked with Doctor Strange’s. The doctor held up one finger, his eyes full of pity. Tony understood.
He fought against Thanos, claiming the Infinity Stones. With the burning pain and enough will-power, Tony snapped.
“The last act of defiance from the great Tony Stark.”
Death was not cruel or kind. It was patient and unjust. It had watched Tony long for it and dread it his whole life. Each time Tony challenged Death, it was impressed and delighted. The more Tony Stark gave to this world, the more for Death to claim later.
So, when Death finally came, Tony greeted him with open arms, like an old friend.
Tony crawled to rest against a large piece of rubble, his body now fragile and burned out. Did he even deserve a soft and warm epilogue?
Maybe. But Death was sometimes unpredictable.
The hooded figure rested its hand on Tony’s head, and that is when he knew: this is it.
Rhodey came first. Their goodbye was silent. There was so much to say and so little time.
Peter landed at Tony’s feet. Grief and denial gracing his features. Tony felt his heart stutter at the sight of his kid. So alive . Peter apologized endlessly through his tears, and Tony wanted to do nothing more than to extend his hand and wipe away any signs of sadness from his face. Instead, he watched silently as Peter was pulled to his feet, and Tony hoped he conveyed all the love he felt for his kid through the faint smile he gave him.
Pepper came next. The love of his life. His wife. She said the words he did not know he needed to hear, “We’re gonna be okay. You can rest now.” As he gazed into her eyes, he knew. He knew she would be okay. She would raise Morgan to be the most beautiful, perfect and amazing person to set foot on this Earth.
Tony’s mind, forever whirling with ideas and musings, clung like a lifeline to one last thought. Peter and Morgan were alive and safe. They were the seeds to the garden he would never get to see. His legacy. His pride and joy.
Tony’s eyes closed and his Arc Reactor shut down. He felt the soft touch of Death on his arm.
His last breath left his lungs. Then there was nothing.