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----- Mace Windu -----
Mace knocked back another shot, slamming the glass down on his desk with a not insignificant amount of force. If he got one more Force-forsaken report across his desk about the absolute banthashit that was what the Kenobi-Skywalker-Tano trio got up to on a weekly basis, he was going to have another stress-induced aneurysm. Vokara would definitely kill him. He sighed and leaned back in his desk chair, closing his eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose in a useless attempt to relieve the headache he could feel forming. Damn Skywalker and the sheer amount of shatterpoints surrounding any mention of that man.
Chosen One be damned, Mace was this kriffing close to killing him himself just to get some Force-damned peace and quiet. Mace opened one eye and looked at the bottle of liver failure in liquid form that was sitting on his desk -- oh how Vokara would flay him alive if she found out how often he drank it --and considered downing the entire thing. Perhaps he wouldn't have to attend tomorrow's Council meeting if he was comatose in the Halls of Healing?
Mace groaned in dismay. No. Yoda -- that little green pain in his ass -- would find some way to make sure he was in attendance. That bitch. Blind as a kriffing bat when it came to his lineage. Especially Qui-Gon. Do not get him started on the laundry list of banthashit Jinn had gotten away with because of Yoda's inability to hold him accountable for his actions. Mace would need a whole new bottle for that .
Mace turned his head to the side, still with only one eye open, as the door to his office opened and Commander Ponds walked in. Ponds was by far his favorite trooper -- not that he'd ever tell the rest of his men that; they'd never recover emotionally. He was reliable, good at his job, great company in general and -- most importantly -- immune to Skywalker's banthashit. Truly, a feat worthy of praise and celebration.
Ponds stopped in front of Mace's desk and cracked a smile. "Let me guess, sir." He said. "Skywalker?"
Mace groaned and grabbed for the bottle, Vokara's rage be damned. "Worse," he muttered.
"Oh damn. All three of them?"
"All. Kriffing . Three of them." Ponds laughed at his dismayed expression. The damn traitor. "You laugh now," Mace said, pointing at Ponds with the hand not holding the bottle of booze. "But if you had to do all the paperwork relating to their adventures , you'd be drinking too. Kenobi got accidentally engaged to a planetary royal again -- curse him and his constant flirting -- and Skywalker had to participate in a gladiatorial match against the Crown Guard in order to win him back!" Mace took a swig from the bottle. This was much more effective than the shot glasses.
"And Tano?" Ponds asked, sitting down in the chair on the other side of the desk, clearly interested in where this story was going. "What did she do?"
"She," Mace said, leaning forward in his chair, "got arrested for public indecency on 12 separate occasions in the last week because of her tube top getup." He slammed his palm down on his desk. "I am going to personally deal with whoever thought it was a good idea to allow a fourteen year old child to run around a battlefield in a tube top. "
Ponds once again laughed. "Sounds like you could use a break sir."
"Oh Force yes. Just one day without having to deal with any Kenobi-Skywalker-Tano banthashit and I'll never complain again." Ponds nodded in confirmation and stood up.
"I'll see what I can whip up for you sir. The men could use a weekend of shore leave." Ponds turned and walked toward the door, communicator in hand.
"Wait! Ponds!" Mace called out. Ponds turned to look at his now thoroughly drunk general and raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, Sir?"
"You're officially my favorite." Ponds grinned.
"I know sir."
----- Mace Windu (One Tenday Later) -----
Mace smiled in contentment, fully relaxed and headache free for the first time in over a decade. He adjusted the sunglasses perched on his nose and reached for the margarita sitting on the table beside him. Ponds had managed to get the entire 187th a full five days of shore leave on a lovely midrim planet known for its beaches. Beaches he and his men were enjoying to their fullest, as evident by the fact that Mace and Ponds were currently reclining beside each other in beach chairs on the shore of a cerulean ocean wearing matching sunglasses and fancy silk beach robes, sipping margaritas in the sunset. Truly, the best experience he'd had in years.
Off in the distance he could hear the sounds of his men, normally so serious, running around and playing in the water. Having fun. They deserved this and so much more. Mace chuckled as he heard indignant yelling over a toppled sandcastle and smiled. He'd certainly enjoy these fives days to their fullest.
And by that, he meant that he wasn't getting out of this kriffing chair for anything less than the end of the Republic. Even then, he thought, he might delay getting up for a bit.
After all, he and Ponds got new margaritas delivered every hour.
Mace took a sip of his margarita and turned to look at his Commander who seemed to be watching the sandcastle debacle with an amused glint in his eye. "Ponds," he asked, "How in the seven Corellian hells did you get this arranged?" Ponds turned to look at him and shrugged.
"I called in a few favors my vod'e owed me," he adjusted himself in his beach chair, leaning back with his hands behind his head and picked up his own margarita, grinning at Mace over its rim. "Don't worry about it, General." Mace sighed.
"Forget I asked."
Ponds chuckled. "Sir yes sir."
Mace leaned back in his chair, looking out over all his men. It would seem the sandcastle incident hand quickly escalated into a full blown sand war. He was honestly impressed at how quickly the men hand managed to construct sand fortifications.
Yes, he thought, tilting his head back and lowering his sunhat to cover his face. This was going to be a wonderful five days.
----- Ponds (Same Time) -----
Ponds glanced over at General Windu and smiled to see the man fast asleep, relaxing in the warmth of the sun. No matter how much he'd deny it later, Ponds could tell how much Mace had needed this break. The man was one more incident report away from spacing Skywalker and blaming it on Yoda. Honestly, Ponds thinks he could get away with it. After all -- as he'd always tell his vod'e -- his General was the best. And also Cody was vod'ika and therefore didn't get an opinion.
Cody always threw a fit whenever he said it, but alas those were the rules. Vod'ika didn't get opinions on which general was the best. And Cody had the audacity to accuse him of making the rule up! Of course he would never do such a thing, Fox on the other hand-
Ponds glanced down at the table beside him as him comm started vibrating from a sudden influx of messages. Picking it up, he opened the groupchat responsible for spamming him while he was on shore leave.
<<<<<<<
Official Jetti Babysitter Squad
Kot'ika : @Windu'sEmotionalSupportClone Hey bitch! You owe me one for this once you get back from your kriffing vacation!
Drunk Furry : @Windu'sEmotionalSupportClone Same here. I want whatever your general's been drinking lately.
Drunk Furry : ...
Drunk Furry : Who the kriff changed my name?
Feral Bitch : am i wrong ????
Drunk Furry : YES YOU BITCH!!!!!
"Drunk Furry" changed their name to "I'mNotPaidEnoughForThisShit"
I'mNotPaidEnoughForThisShit : Go kriff yourself
Feral Bitch : do it yourself coward
Windu'sEmotionalSupportClone : Don't worry, you'll both be compensated.
Windu'sEmotionalSupportClone : Wolffe
Feral Bitch : yes?
Windu'sEmotionalSupportClone : Good job.
Feral Bitch : HELL YES VALIDATION!!!!!!!!
>>>>>>>
Ponds chuckled as he silenced his comm, setting it back down on the small table beside him. His vod'e were all di'kute, every last one of them.
That's fine though. They were his di'kute and he wouldn't trade them for anything.
Ok, he might trade Fox. But only maybe.
Ponds startled at the screeching emergency alert alarm coming from Mace's comm, the general himself startling awake and rapidly reaching to shut the damn thing off. He grumbled, clearly not pleased at his nap being interrupted.
"This better be kriffing important," he groused while playing the video that had been sent to him. Ponds noticed the rest of the 187th had gathered around, many looking resigned at the thought of their shore leave being cut short. Ponds smiled, sipping on his margarita to hide his grin. If Fox and Cody had done what he thought they did, their shore leave wouldn't be ending any time soon.
The video seemed to be a recording of some news report from the core depicting a frazzled looking female Zabrak reporting standing outside the Senate building.
"Breaking news! My fellow citizens of the republic, it has just been revealed to us through leaked confidential documents that former Chancellor Palpatine was in fact the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, leader of the Separatist Army. This confirms what we witnessed go down just hours ago on the Senate floor. With this news also comes the astonishing fact that Count Dooku of Serreno reportedly reached out to the Jedi Order just thirty minutes ago -- two hours after the revelation of the Chancellor's true identity -- to initiate peace talks with the Order and the Republic. Now what this means for the-"
The video suddenly paused. Mace set his comm down and, picking up his margarita, downed it in one go. He reached over and grabbed Ponds's margarita, downing it in one go too. Silence ensued as Mace starred straight ahead at the setting sun as if he was trying to blow it up with his gaze.
"Wait. She said was the Sith Lord," one of Ponds's vod'e pointed out. "What did she mean was ?"
Mace picked up his comm and selected the message he had received directly after the reality shattering first. It was another video. Ponds tried his best not to laugh, Fox and Cody had really outdone themselves this time.
The video seemed to be taken from the Senate Chamber's security cams. It began with the Chancellor -- former Chancellor now -- taking the floor. Suddenly, the lights went out. By the time the backup generator kicked in, the chamber was filled with the Coruscant Guard Red and 212th Gold, the majority of the Senators forcefully removed.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Sidious shouted, being stuck in the center of the chamber as he was, hundreds of blasters trained on him. "Commander Fox! Commander Cody! I demand that you stand down and cease this nonsense!"
"No can do sir," Cody said. "I don't take orders from Sith Lords." Cody pulled a metal cylinder off his belt and next thing Ponds knew, his vod'ika was holding General Kenobi's ignited lightsaber in his hand.
"So this is how it shall be? Then you choose death!" Sidious shouted, igniting his own blood red saber and leaping forward, clashing blades with Cody.
"I don't think so, asshole." A small click could be heard in the silence of the chamber, quickly followed by a resounding boom and the Sith Lord's body fell to the ground, lifeless and with a bullet hole in his skull.
Bullet, not blaster bolt.
The footage -- clearly edited for better viewing -- zoomed in on one Commander Fox who was holding a smoking pistol. An actual Force damned this-should-be-in-a-museum slug-thrower pistol.
"Dodge that, bitch."
The footage ended there and the beach was entrenched in silence for a solid fifteen minutes before it exploded into cheers. Ponds watched as his vod'e ran around, celebrating the only way they knew how, as chaotically as possible.
"Well," Mace said, "that's one way to end the war." He turned to look at Ponds while drinking heavily from the hourly margarita that had just been delivered to him. "You had something to do with this, didn't you?"
Ponds smiled at his general, feigning innocence as best he could. "Why, sir, I have no idea what you could possibly mean."
Mace snorted and knocked back his drink. "Damn," he said. "Now I owe Depa 50 credits."
Ponds couldn't contain himself any longer and broke out into hysterical laughter, grinning at the man sitting beside him. Mace saluted him with his empty margarita glass.
Oh yes, this was going to be one relaxing shore leave. Of that, Ponds was certain.