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The first time Remus saw the dog in the shrieking shack, he was high.
Not high in the way he and James would spend Sunday afternoons under the quidditch stands, nor in the way the four marauders would occasionally get something from Gid Prewett and spend hours in their dorm room talking about nothing that mattered and laughing until their stomachs hurt.
No, Remus was high in the sense that he tore his body nearly in half once a month and this potion that Pomfrey gave him was the only way to minimalize the pain before he ripped himself apart in just under an hour. Side effects may include: tripping balls and space travel to other planets.
And apparently hallucinating giant, black dogs. This one was new. But hey, at least the full moon didn’t have shit on him now.
Had Remus been in a state of mind that would have allowed his brain to produce just one sober thought, he might have been scared. Hallucination or not, seeing a dog that was almost the same size as your werewolf alter ego standing at an arm’s length away from your face was enough to scare any regular person shitless.
The thought was enough to make Remus laugh to himself. Any normal person would be scared shitless, but fortunately for Remus he was a teenage werewolf with a fucking magic wand. Seeing some stray in the shack was the least of his problems.
The stray in question cocked it’s head to the side, still staring at Remus, and the action was so familiar that Remus felt something shift in his mind that didn’t quite sit right. Remus only laughed harder.
“I don’t know what you want from me.” And oh Merlin, now he was talking to a dog and quite obviously getting no response. Maybe he should try again in an hour, when he was no longer Remus Lupin. The dog stared, making no effort to reply if it could. It was actually kind of adorable, and Remus would love to indulge in the company if he weren’t about to turn into a fucking monster.
“You should leave. You’re not safe here.”
The dog didn’t move, and Remus’ control quickly started to deplete.
“Get the fuck out of here. I could hurt you, you know.”
Again, the dog tilted its head and Remus hated how odd it made him feel. Everything about the damn thing, the fur, the eyes, the movements. It all almost reminded him of -
“Seriously, are you even fucking real?” Remus got frustrated, frantic with the sudden paranoia that maybe he wasn’t even here right now, and maybe the transformation already happened and maybe the wolf had finally just finished it and maybe this was some kind of sick afterlife dream -
Oh.
The dog had moved to sit its head directly on Remus’ lap, where his hand involuntarily came to rest on the back of its neck, snapping him back to reality. Soft, silky black fur. His movements through the dog’s hair were gentle despite Remus’ rising agitation. He should get up, shove the dog’s head off of him and throw him out the tunnel, since there really was no other way of exiting the shack.
“How did you get in here, girl?” Remus asked, to which the only reply was a short, deep growl. “Shit, sorry. How’d you get in here, buddy?”
Remus felt ridiculous. High off his mind, talking to a stray dog that had somehow wandered past the tree and ended up laying it’s head in Remus’ lap after one minute of meeting him, and Remus was now talking to the damn thing, like it could answer him and take away all of the worries that lived on Remus’ imaginary list of “How fucked up can my life really get?”
“You’re not safe, I’m about to tear this room apart and I could hurt you.”
Still, the dog didn’t answer, (No fucking surprise there) and Remus really didn’t make any effort in kicking it out. Even if he wanted to, he wasn’t sure his body would allow him to do that at the moment. Already, he could feel the moon pulling his mind away, and his blood becoming hotter while his skin started crawling a mile a minute.
“I hope you’re safe.” Was the last thing Remus managed to remember saying before the potion really took over, and then half an hour later, Remus Lupin was no longer a teenage boy, but a monster under the full moon.
The dog wasn’t in the shack after Remus woke up the next morning.
-
The second time Remus saw the dog, he didn’t take the potion. Madam Pomfrey was so surprised to see the lack of injuries Remus woke up with last month, that she had insisted she’d save it for when Remus would really need it, and worried that taking it every month would just allow his body to build up a tolerance anyways.
The dog came in quietly, something Remus wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for his super human hearing and the smell of sweaty fur that surrounded the room the second it walked through the door. Remus was sitting on the bed, hands clasped tight like he was trying to break his own fingers, and head hung low to stop his head from spinning.
“Hello again.” Remus grit out, always polite no matter the circumstances. “I hope I didn’t scare you away last time. I’m glad you weren’t hurt.”
The dog came over to sit in front of Remus, head tilted curiously again which made Remus scoff.
“I know, I know. I’m fucking crazy, you can’t understand me, and you watched me turn into a beast last month. Anything else you’d like to cover?” Remus asked, watching as the dog moved towards him and nudged at his clasped hands.
Stop it he seemed to be saying. Remus regretfully let his fingers slide out from each other, one by one, until the dog was able to move between them and set its head on Remus’ upper thigh.
“You smell like my boyfriend.” Remus said. The dog yelped, excitedly, before resting his head back where it was. “No, don’t take that as a compliment. He’s always sweaty after quidditch and insists on victory hugs. It’s disgusting.”
If any of this wasn’t weird before, it certainly was then, now that Remus could swear he watched the dog roll his eyes.
“Your fur is softer than his hair though, I’ll give you that.” Remus said through a yawn, noticing from his watch that he was only half an hour from transformation. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take off my clothes before I rip them to shreds.”
The dog moved away slowly, moving to stand contentedly by the foot of the bed, watching Remus as he took off his sweater, then the t-shirt, and finally his jeans and pants. He shoved them far under the bed, hoping they’d be safe and easy to access before Madam Pomfrey got there in the morning.
The dog stayed with Remus, through the transformation, and was there this time when Remus woke up, curled up under the werewolf’s head and snoring soundly.
His injuries from the night before were minimal, and the dog looked perfectly safe.
Huh.
-
Things started clicking in Remus’ mind when James and Peter were all of sudden calling Sirius “Padfoot” around the common room and in the dorm. How James made too many jokes about Sirius’ “dog-like” behavior to the point where it was no longer funny, though at first, Remus didn’t understand why they were so funny to Peter. Then Remus started noticing how tired Sirius was the days after full moons, like he’d stayed up all night.
Remus Lupin was no idiot, and the rest of the Marauders should have remembered that if they wanted to keep it a secret.
Before Remus was to head out to the shack for the third time that year, Sirius grabbed his wrist and kissed him, a deep loving kiss and whispered a “see you soon” though Sirius didn’t know that Remus knew how “soon” he actually meant.
Padfoot showed up fifteen minutes after Remus arrived at the shack, clothes already off and huddled under the threadbare blanket on the armchair in the corner. It was missing a lot of stuffing, thanks to the several scratch marks, but it was comfy thanks to his well placed charms.
Remus smiled when he saw the big, black dog nose the door open and then shut.
“I’m glad to see you.” He told it, and the dog stopped, like it were surprised, before bouncing towards Remus on the chair and licking his face. Knowing Sirius, he was just as excited to see Remus.
“Ugh, stop. If I wanted terrible, sloppy kisses then I’d just go ask my boyfriend.”
The dog barked in protest, and Remus managed to keep from laughing, watching Padfoot plop his head on the armrest of the chair in protest.
“Aw, sorry boy.” Remus pulled his arm from under the blanket to move his fingers through the familiar, dark fur, and watched the dog relax. “I didn’t mean to offend you. If it makes you feel better, you’re not nearly as bad as he is.”
Padfoot pulled away quickly, giving out another sharp bark in indignation before going to sit on the bed, like he were protesting Remus’ words. As fun as this was, Remus had had enough.
He pulled himself away from the chair with the blanket wrapped around him and went to sit next to Padfoot on the bed.
“Sirius.” Remus whispered, and the dog raised it’s head in response, though it didn’t seem like he had registered what Remus just called him. “Change back, please. I want you right now.”
Realization flooded Padfoot’s eyes, and Remus stared until they became Sirius’ perfect gray ones.
“Who the fuck told you! Was it Peter? I swear to Merlin, that rat is going to fucking-”
“Sirius.”
Sirius stopped, looking back at Remus with apology and a lot of questions on his face.
“No one told me, I figured it out.”
“You- you figured it out.” It wasn’t a question but Remus nodded anyway. “How? I mean, I know you’re not stupid, Moony, but I thought I was subtle.”
“Moony? Is that a nickname similar to Padfoot?” Remus asked. Sirius gaped at him, before flopping himself down on the bed.
“Fucking James and his dog jokes, that’s how you knew, isn’t it?”
“Yes. But since the first time you came here I thought ‘Padfoot’ reminded me of someone. Some ridiculous, charming boy who insists on sweaty hugs after quidditch games and is terrible at kissing.” Remus laughed when Sirius sat up and shoved at Remus’ shoulder.
“You were having me on!” Sirius realized. “You were trying to get me to admit it to you.”
Remus reached over and grabbed Sirius’ hand, still laughing but looking at Sirius like he was something precious. It made Sirius’ heart beat fast and want to hold Moony until he was safe.
I love you. Fuck, Moony, I just realized I love you.
“I wasn’t trying to get you to admit it to me. But it was fun to watch you try and prove your kissing skills.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but he looked back to Remus with a soft gaze and what he hoped was absolute love in his eyes.
“So you technically knew it was me the whole time.” Sirius reached his hand up to cup Remus’ jaw, thumb stroking the smallest scar on his cheek.
“I guess so. The way you tilt your head when you’re curious or confused, and how you like to lay your head in my lap. I remember thinking that this new strange dog acted exactly like the boy I’m in love with.” Remus eyes stared right into Sirius’ during the confession, like he was challenging Sirius, or more like trying to prove how honest he was being.
Sirius realized his mouth had dropped open, and he quickly shut it before crawling closer to Remus until he was in the other boy’s lap.
“You... you love me?”
Sirius’ tone made Remus’ heart ache. The fact that he had to question it at all made Remus angry at Sirius’ family, at anyone who ever made this boy doubt the love he had in his life.
Remus moved his hands from Sirius’ arms to his face, so they were both cupping each other’s chins and stroking their thumbs. Sirius’ face was wet.
“Of course I love you. You’re such a fucking brave, reckless Gryffindor I think they should name the house after you.” Sirius giggled wetly, pulling at Remus’ heart. “And the way you care for James, Peter, Regulus, Lily. And me. Fuck, pads, you became and animagus for me. There’s no way I couldn’t love you. You’re just you and I was doomed from the start.”
Sirius finally, finally leaned in and kissed Remus. It started as a soft kiss, light and full of sweetness before Sirius angled his head and deepened it.
“It’s not just me.” Sirius gasped a couple of minutes later when he regretfully had to pull away. “It wasn’t just- James and Peter are animagi to. Or, trying to be. I mastered it before them.” Sirius smirked at Remus, resting their foreheads together.
“Of course you did, you egotistical genius.” Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius again. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Fuck, how have I not said it back already? I fucking love you, Moony.”
The moment wasn’t forever, despite how sweet it was. Remus had less than thirty minutes before the full moon, he could feel it pulling on his skin, his heart, his head. The pain that showed up before every transformation was numbed though, by the boy in his arms who was playing with Remus’ hair and leaving kisses on his nose, eyebrow, cheeks and eyelids. Anywhere he could reach, really.
And when the morning came, Sirius was able to transform back into himself this time and heal some of Remus’ minor injuries. After every one, he’d leave a soft kiss over each new scar and whispers of “I love you.”
Remus didn’t need a potion that numbed his pain and made him high, he needed Sirius, and their friends who were going to join them in the shack soon to help Remus’ life become a little easier. With them, the full moon really didn’t have shit on him now.