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Rain hits the windows of Avengers Tower, and Peter pulls MJ a little bit closer. His eyes are glued to the TV screen, where it’s also raining, and where the two leads in the cheesy, rom-com Ned had switched on argue in the midst of the downpour. It isn’t long before the argument turns to kissing.
“That’s so romantic,” says Peter. That’s really what he’d rather be doing. Kissing MJ in the rain.
“Dude,” says Flash, shoving a fist full of popcorn in his mouth, from where he sat on the floor. “You’re such a sap.”
Peter scrunches up his face. “I’m not a sap.”
“Kind of are,” says Ned.
Peter turns to MJ for help, and their faces are so close, their noses almost brush up against each other. Forget the rain. He’d rather be kissing her now, in the common room, on the Avengers favorite couch.
“You’re totally a sap,” she tells him. “But you’re my sap.”
“You two are disgusting,” says Flash. “Just get a room and let Ned and I finish watching this in peace.”
Peter doesn’t think that sounds like such a bad idea, and he’s about to say so when he’s startled into sitting up straight.
“Parker!”
He turns his head and sees Sam and Bucky entering the common area.
“Oh,” says Peter. He and MJ scoot to opposite ends of the couch, as if it mattered and they hadn’t already been seen. “Um, hey Sam. Bucky.”
“What is this?” asks Sam, gesturing to the common room. “What have we told you about using the Tower as your own personal clubhouse for you and your school friends?”
“That I’m definitely welcomed to do it?”
“Well that’s one interpretation of hell no,” says Bucky.
Peter could strange both of them right there on the spot. They’re the annoying big brothers he never wanted, and he hates how they only ever agree with each other when it disadvantages him in some way.
“Take your Scooby Squad and scram,” says Sam.
“We’re not the Scooby Squad,” says Flash. He doesn’t take his eyes off the screen, and his hand stays in the bowl of popcorn. “We’re the FlashMob, don’t forget it.”
“We’re not the FlashMob,” says Ned. “We’re the FOS gang.”
“FOS?” questions Bucky.
“Friends of Spider-Man,” answers Ned.
“Meddling kids seems more appropriate,” says Sam. “Parker. Get them out.”
“If we’re the Scooby Squad you’re the grumpy old men,” says Peter, with a sigh. He stands, snatches the bowl of popcorn from Flash, and orders Friday to switch off the movie.
Peter, MJ, Ned and Flash file out the room, listening to Sam and Bucky as their bickering turns towards each other. Apparently Bucky’s chosen spot on the couch was where Sam sits, apparently the throw pillow Sam claims actually belongs to Bucky, and so on.
“I swear,” says Peter. “They bicker more than Mr. Stark and Gerald.”
“Gerald?” asks MJ.
“He’s going through a phase.”
“Well it’s obvious why they bicker,” MJ tells them.
All three stare at her.
“..It is?” asks Ned.
“Come on, guys,” says MJ. “It’s classic. They’re in love.”
All eyes turn back to the couch. They’re both sitting at opposite ends and they both take turns telling Friday to switch the channel on the TV. Doesn’t seem like a very productive war. Peter develops whiplash from just standing off in the background, watching the TV screen flip back and forth between Jaws and some old timey black and white film.
“I bet they just kicked us out so they could be alone together,” she continues.
“Enemies to lovers?” asks Ned, still staring at them, with a tilted head.
“I’d ship it,” says Flash.
“Wish they’d get a room, or an apartment,” says Ned. “So we could get back to our movie day.”
“Ned, you’re a genius,” says Peter. “We’ll just play some cupid, get them together for real, and they’ll be so distracted we can go back to having movie days at the Tower.”
“Because that plan doesn’t have the potential to turn into a big, fucking disaster,” says MJ.
“It’ll be fine,” says Peter. “It’ll be good. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Even they deserve to be happy.”
MJ kisses him on the cheek, and links his arm with hers as they march off towards the elevators.
“You really are such a sap,” she tells him, a fondness in her tone that causes Peter to realize he doesn’t actually mind being a romantic so much, not when MJ was the one saying it.
*
Peter leads Bucky down the season aisles at Target, and figures he’s really on his last shot of this cupid business.
He hasn’t exactly been subtle over the last couple of days. Bucky’s already wondering why Peter had insisted on him tagging along on his trip to Target with him.
They pass by heart shaped boxes of candy, and Peter digs through the bin of cute stuffed animals until he finds a unicorn. When he squeezes it, it’s teeth turn pointy and it’s eyes turn mean. It’s perfect.
“For MJ?” asks Bucky.
“No way, man,” says Peter. He turns his attention to the chocolate boxes with cartoon characters printed on the front, and grabs the one with “I got her presents months ago. This stuff is for Morgan.”
“How’s Stark handling Valentine's Day as a father, anyway?”
“He loves it,” says Peter. “He’s a little bit obsessed, actually. He wants Morgan to pass out the best Valentine's cards in her class, so he stayed up all night designing them online and he’s having candy delivered for some fancy chocolate shop in Germany.”
“I don’t think kids really care about fancy chocolate,” says Bucky, and Peter watches as he eyes the boxes of chocolate. His eyes go back and forth between two different brands.
“They don't,” says Peter. “But they do if you bribe the chocolate makers into molding the chocolate into the replicas of famous Avengers.”
Bucky doesn’t respond. All his focus is on the candies.
“What kind of chocolate do you think Sam likes?” asks Peter.
Bucky snaps his head around and narrows his eyes at him. “Why would you ask that?”
Peter shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe we should get him some. It’d be nice.”
Bucky stares at him, and Peter shuffles his feet around, dying to come out with his suggestion that he and Sam should just go out already. That they’ll be a lot happier together, way less grumpy.
“How do you know?” asks Bucky.
“How what?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“I don’t have to play dumb,” says Peter. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Come on,” says Bucky. “What’s the deal with you crawling around on the ceiling hanging mistletoe above wherever Sam and I are standing? Or that night you made us dinner and set the table with candles and rose petals?”
“I was just being nice. Who doesn’t like roses?”
“I know you know about me and Sam,” says Bucky. “So quit harassing us, and keep your mouth shut about it.”
“Wait…. You and Sam… are already together?” asks Peter, with a gasp of disbelief. “I was trying to set you up!”
“You didn’t know?” asks Bucky. “We thought you knew and were being an asshole about it.”
“Holy shit,” says Peter. He shifts Morgan’s presents to one hand, and pulls his phone out of his pocket with the other. “I gotta tell MJ.”
Bucky swipes his phone. “You can’t tell anybody. We’re keeping it a secret for now.”
“Fine, fine,” says Peter. “Secret safe with me.”
“No secret is safe with you, Parker,” Bucky tells him, before marching past him, and to the next aisle where he continues looking for Sam’s present.
Peter frowns. He’s got no clue why people think he’s incapable of keeping things secret.
*
Peter manages to keep Sam and Bucky’s relationship to himself, until the day of the Midtown High Valentine’s day dance. And it’s not exactly Peter’s fault. He isn’t exactly to see the two of them in his school’s gym, with linked arms, wearing identical grins.
“You two can not be here,” whispers Peter. His eyes darted around the gym, at all his classmates, somehow forgetting no connection could realistically be made between Peter Parker and two Avengers.
“Sure we can,” says Bucky. “We’re chaperones.”
“And I’m Captain America. I can go anywhere.”
“I hate you both,” says Peter.
Sam claps him on the shoulder. “Consider this revenge.”
“For what?!?”
“For being annoying,” says Bucky.
“And young,” adds Sam. “And for torturing us with mistletoes.”
“Oh, look,” says MJ, emerging from the crowd of students on the dance floor. “I was right. Who’s surprised?”
“Yeah, congratulations,” says Sam. “Now take your irritatingly observant selves over to the refreshment table, get yourselves some Scooby snacks and leave us to our chaperoning.”
Peter doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s ready to put so much distance between himself and the old, grumpy chaperones. He and MJ are crossing the dance floor when they’re favorite song starts to play, but it’s something else that grabs Peter’s attention.
It’s Flash, standing on the bleachers, holding a lighter up to the smoke alarm.
“THIS IS FOR YOU PENIS PARRKKKERRRR,” he yells across the gym, just as the smoke alarm blares to life.
He’s confused, until sprinklers on the ceiling turn on, and water begins to rain down on the entire student body, soaking dresses and suits and splashing into the probably already spiked punch bowl.
“I guess you were right about something too,” says MJ, with a small smile. They’re standing in the middle of the dance floor, while most others run and duck for cover under chairs or in the hallway, while Bucky and Sam chase Flash around the gym. “This is kind of romantic.”
“I can start an argument with you,” says Peter. He hooks his arm around her waist and pulls her closer. “If you want it to be like the movies.”
“Nah,” she tells him. “We can skip that part.”
She brushes his soaked hair out of his face, and they kiss. It’s every bit as romantic as it is in the movies.