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It's a secret to no one that Killua's family is horrendously subpar . Whether it was one of his offhanded comments about something they taught him that he definitely shouldn't know , or whether it was the times he flinched when Leorio raised his hands too fast or when Gon swung his fishing pole just a little bit too wildly for the white haired boy's liking .
Kurapika despises Killua's family with a passion that can only be described as ' burning with the heat of a thousand suns . ' Considering what happened with their clan , and their affinity to show affection through touch and action rather than words , it shows . In little things like a careful hand on Killua's shoulder when they can tell that he's shaking , or mending his clothes when he scrapes through the knees of his pants .
Leorio on the other hand is much more withdrawn in that respect , more one to tell rather than touch . In a " Good job , Killua ! " On something that maybe was just completely average , or chewing out anyone who gets even SLIGHTLY close to hurting his feelings . The amount of times he's yelled at Illumi just for existing in the same sort of vicinity as Killua is .... Frightening .
Killua isn't sure how to feel about ... Any of that . After all , why would he ? He's not really used to having a defense aside from his own two hands and feet . Certainly not from figures that seem so parental . They're only slightly older than he is , really only by a couple of years , but he can't help but feel so immature and small by comparison . Yet , he still finds himself drawn to it , asking Kurapika to pull out their thread and needle to mend rips in the shoulder of his sweaters one too many times just so he can see the red thread they always like to use , or showing off maybe a bit too much so he can hear Leorio say that he's proud of him .
He just hopes to any God out there that they don't catch on . That would be embarrassing at best , and downright humiliating at worst . Unfortunately , they do notice . And they always have , a little bit . That's why they've kept doing it . Hearing Killua be so nonchalant about how horribly he's been treated makes their hearts ache , and so they simply took it upon themselves to show him what family is ACTUALLY supposed to be like .
At first , it was kind of an unspoken agreement between Kurapika and Leorio . They did it unintentionally , and yet nearly always identically . Once they actually sat down to talk about it , it just ... Made sense . It's not like they were ever really unaware of their feelings for one another , but until a few years ago , their work had kept them apart . So they had waited .
With Gon it was a little bit different . Gon attracted people with bright smiles and large eyes , and he always had someone to stay with or go back to . Whether it was his aunt and his village , or Leorio and Kurapika , or some other combination of people he's met and loved , he always has a place to fit in . Kurapika worries about him , but not nearly as much .
It was part of the initial conversation . Dazed and bleary eyed , they'd come out of their bed to talk to Leorio who was still working on some late night paperwork , and they had just been ... Concerned . Where was Killua staying ? Who with ? Gon had wandered back to his village and was staying with family , he was safe , but Killua doesn't ... Have those kinds of options . He either had the Zoldyck estate , which made Kurapika's eyes tint reddish pink just thinking about it , or .... The streets , probably .
They couldn't go back to bed in good conscience without knowing . Leorio tried to promise them that they'd find him in the morning , or even that he'd do it himself , just " Go back to bed , love , it's early , " and Kurapika would hear none of it . They care too fiercely about the people they love to even dream of it . Too many things have been lost to time , and frankly they didn't feel like waiting .
So they threw on their coat and searched for hours until the sun came up , finding Killua wandering around the city like he owned the place . Leorio always followed where Kurapika went , just in case . The two of them made a wonderful search party .
" Do you want to stay with us , Killua ? "
Sometimes they cursed themself for sounding so motherly . Especially when they see Killua's blue eyes widen a little bit and his hands come up like he'd been scorched where Kurapika was holding them . Ultimately it was the work of Leorio that got him into the house .
Something about concern for Killua's health after being awake all night . True enough , they'd found him nearly passing out he'd been awake so long , and feverish from the elements he'd subjected himself to . It was like he didn't even notice how sick he was until it was brought to his attention .
" I wouldn't know the first thing about being sick , " He had said . " It wasn't really something I needed to deal with . "
No one had ever cared enough to let him be sick . A forceful recovery every time just because they needed him to be somewhere or do something . Truthfully , Killua needed the rest . Kurapika had made him soup , just something out of a can since that was what they had , and promised to make something from scratch later , and Killua had accepted it with a ' thank you , ' but ..
Leorio and Kurapika both heard him crying when he had assumed they were asleep . He never seemed to cry when someone was being awful toward him , usually leaving that reaction to a Kurapika so scathed by the actions that they couldn't contain themself . Always when someone was treating him like a person , or being nicer than he had bargained for .
Kurapika did most of the housework . They liked it well enough , it kept them busy on days that they didn't have work , and Leorio always enjoyed coming home to a clean house , if not for the express purpose of telling his Pika how good a job they did . It's because of this that they found out how inept Killua is at the mundane .
And how much it frustrates him to be inept at ... Well , anything . He can tear hearts directly out of the chests they reside in , and feel the beating as it struggles to stay alive , but he can't do something as simple as the dishes ? The white haired male had disappeared for hours into his room about it . It didn't exactly bother Kurapika that they had to pick up some slack or that Killua didn't know how to do the dishes , but what really got to them was just how upset he was about it .
That was the second conversation . Was Killua more man or machine ? How much of him was him ? How much was a trained response ? Leorio couldn't tell , and the Kurta couldn't bring themself to care . Either way , the Killua they had was the Killua they would love and take care of . That was the end of the story . Leorio agreed , but he worried so clearly that it nearly gave him wrinkles .
Killua didn't leave their apartment very much after a while . It became the place to go when he wasn't sure if someone was after him , and the only place his mind seemed to quiet down enough for him to sleep . They'd given him a room with plastic robots that he played with on several occasions when he thought they couldn't hear .
The third conversation was about how they were sorry for the poor kid . He was fifteen and as far as they could tell , had never had a silly toy robot to throw around and entertain himself with .
The fourth conversation was now . Killua is messing with the end of his sweater , an old , torn up thing so mangled that Kurapika can't tell which parts are the original fabric and which parts are patches that they've had to sew in . Not that they mind , of course . If Killua likes it and wants to keep it , they'll keep fixing it as long as they have the fingers to do so . In fact , they've been trying to teach Killua to do it himself , and he's getting pretty good at it .
He still brings the clothing to the blonde , without fail , every time . Maybe they just like the smell that it returns with , or the fact that Leorio always seems to notice a new patch on it that was almost definitely added by his partner .
" Killua ? "
It's a gentle reminder of reality , since the white haired boy had a tendency to get lost in his head . Now was no exception . Leorio and Kurapika sit on one couch in the living room , and Killua sits in the other . He looks smaller than he really is , blue eyes looking anywhere but at his caretakers . Caretakers ? He isn't sure if he should call them that . They let him crash , and they're nice to him , sure , but ...
" Why are you guys so nice to me ? "
The question hits like a slap in the face . Kurapika looks at Leorio . Leorio looks back . Their eyebrows knit together and they have almost an entire conversation with just their eyes . Kurapika decides that they should be the one to answer . Leorio doesn't fight them on it .
" Why wouldn't we be ? You're just a kid , and even though we're not much older than you , you're basically like family . "
Family . The word seems sour on Killua's tongue , because family isn't ... This . Family is Illumi , and Hisoka showing up at random times to observe . Family is Father sending him to Heaven's Arena and making him fight his way back . Part of him wishes he felt like this with them .
" No , I mean - I don't , " Killua gets lost on his words , and they can feel the frustration moving across him in waves as the heels of his palms move toward his eyes . That's what he always does when he's overwhelmed . Shuts down at least one of his senses to try and regain the composure he lost .
" How am I family ? I mean , Illumi is my family , and you guys aren't ... I don't understand , " He says . And if they're honest ? Why would he ? The connotation of that word means nothing even close to what they feel for him . Or what he feels for them .
Leorio takes this one more easily than Kurapika thinks that they can . They have a tendency to get emotional when it comes to the people they love , Killua especially . The boy is basically their kid by now . The paperwork sits in Leorio's desk and they
The paperwork .
It sits in Leorio's desk .
" Well , kiddo .. Your family isn't normal . That's why you guys are so famous . And they're not good to you , either . This kind of thing is ... More like how most families are . And if you don't want us to call you that , we won't , but - "
Kurapika puts their hand on their boyfriend's thigh before he can get too off topic trying to defend himself from an attack that didn't happen . Killua and Leorio have that in common .
It's their turn to speak , but first they want the pale boy to be close enough for them to touch . It's easier that way , and a part of them thinks that maybe Killua needs the affection .
" Killua , can you come over here ? You don't have to if you don't want to , but I'd like to give you a hug . "
Making their intentions clear is something they've learned to do with him . He gets suspicious of any and all requests that aren't explained , so they'll simply explain it to them . It's no bother , honestly .
Killua pauses , and slinks over to the other couch , put between them like a puzzle piece with slightly bent edges , worn . Leorio puts a hand on his shoulder while Kurapika holds him to their chest .
" If I'm being honest ... We've been thinking about adoption for a while . If you don't want that , that's fine , but you really are like our family , and we love you to the moon and back . So much , Killua . "
The young boy pauses , and he gets all tense like he forgot how to breathe -
And then he shakes . Crying isn't something Killua does often , but he cries hard into Kurapika's sweater , and he is honest . First with himself , silently , and second with the other two .
" I love you too , " Is his first statement , said between soft sobs , and the second statement comes only moments later , in that " I want to be your family , " said almost too quietly to hear .
Kurapika tries not to let their emotions get the best of them . They fail . Not because of just Killua , even though they definitely could get there , but because Leorio looks so starstruck at the acceptance that he's got the dumbest , kindest look on his face that he's ever had .
They can't undo everything the Zoldycks have put him through , but they can definitely help . The papers are brought and the papers are signed , and Killua thinks hard about who's name he wants to keep . Killua Zoldyck commands power , and it frightens those who know what it means , and he isn't sure he wants to be completely rid of the people he grew up with ....
But Killua Paladiknight sounds better anyway .