Work Text:
We might fight sometimes
I might lose my mind
But I'll never let go
I'll never let go
-Sody
----
It's a Saturday afternoon when Annabeth returns home after a long and tiring, and stressful day at the architecture firm she (kinda) works at. She'd only been hired as an assistant a couple months ago, and she can already say it's terrible. Her boss looks down at her as if she's a second grader and never takes her seriously when she pitches in an idea, always throwing it back as a back up plan, and Annabeth doesn't do backup plans. She keeps the job anyway even though she gets paid little, at least she's being paid at all. And if Percy and she want to keep the apartment they're living in, then they need the money. He currently works as a tour guide at an aquarium in San Francisco.
"I'm home," Annabeth calls out into their small apartment, pushing the door closed with one hand while the other stays occupied by her bag and keys. She doesn't bother taking her shoes off, instead sauntering further into the apartment, stopping in the living room where Percy is sitting on the couch, working on a paper that should have been turned in yesterday. "How's it coming?" she asks her boyfriend who's squinting at his computer screen.
Percy lolls his head to the side to meet her eyes across the room. "Terrible. My head hurts."
"I'll try to help. Give me a few minutes." She bites her lip and turns into the kitchen, ignoring the way her heart drops at their short interaction. No kiss, not even a simple how was work which had been terrible to say the least. They've been distant lately- she and Percy. They've been so roped up in school and work that for the past few weeks they had been skirting around one another and Annabeth can't remember when they just sat down and talked. It anger her, that they haven't been making time for each other, but it just mixes in with all the other negative emotions swirling within her.
Her bad mood only worsens when Annabeth enters the kitchen to find the sink stacked with dirty dishes that should already be cleaned and back in their rightful spots. This is the third time Percy's skipped washing the dishes, and Annabeth had very clearly stated they needed to be cleaned before heading to bed lat night. Earlier that morning, she had left in such a rush that she hadn't even realized they weren't done, so she wasn't able to remind him. Not that she should have to in the first place.
Now that she's thinking about it, this probably sounds really insensitive. After all, Percy still has other things besides worrying about the dishes being put away, such as school and work. But when they'd fist moved in a couple months prior, before the start of sophomore year, they had agreed that they'd both have an equal set of chores. Annabeth vacuumed, swept, and cleaned up dinner each night while Percy cooked and did the dishes afterwards, and they took turns cleaning the bathroom. While Annabeth attempted to do her jobs consistently, almost making it a schedule, Percy often forgot to do them and always made up some sort of an excuse, and lately it's been getting on her nerves. Seriously, how hard is it to take five minutes to wash a few plates?
Annabeth sighs in exasperation, shoulder slumping. Spinning around, she rubs her pounding headache as she takes the few steps back into the living room. Upon her entrance, Percy looks up from his computer, eyebrows furrowed at her angered expression, and for only a second she forgets she's mad and she just misses him. She wants to wrap her arms around his torso and bury her head into his chest, breathing in his ocean scent. But then Annabeth remembers he hasn't shown much interest in her lately, and she's angry again.
Her hands curl into tight, angry fists at her sides. "This is the third time this has happened," she says slowly and the creases between his eyebrows deepen.
"What?"
"You haven't done the dishes for weeks!"
"I've been busy. I'll do them when I'm finished with this."
Annabeth rolls her eyes. "You said that last night."
Percy frowns up at her. "I was working on this paper-"
"-that was due yesterday, yes, I know. And you're still working on it," she snaps, arms crossed tightly across her chest and her vision is clouding with red as her blood boils. Annabeth really sure what exactly it is about him (besides him not completing his chores), but he's just so infuriating right now. All he's doing is sitting there and watching her as if she's gone mad, and somehow it's annoying.
"I- I've been struggling this semester," he tries to explain, but her ears are ringing so badly right now that she can barely hear him. Although she manages to catch the main point. "I already talked to my professor, and you- are you mad?"
She feels like crying and screaming her throat raw at the same time. Yes, she's mad! Can't he see that? Annabeth had a terrible day at work and all she wanted to do when she came home was snuggle up against Percy and have a calm night. But, of course she can't have that. He's still working on that stupid paper and the dishes aren't clean, and they're still too busy for each other and she wants it all to stop. She wants it to stop.
"Yes, I'm mad!" Annabeth shouts. "I've been overwhelmed with school and work too, you know, and I still manage to get all my work done around the apartment. But you- the dishes haven't been clean for weeks! Do you want to eat off the floor?"
"This is- this is about the... the dishes?"
"It's not just about the dishes!" Annabeth cries, throwing her hands in the air for emphasis. Her eyes burn with unshed tears and her heart is thumping so hard against her chest she feels like she's going to fall over, and she's so upset right now she can barely function. "It's just- I've been working so hard in school and in work, and I'm still doing my share around the apartment, and you- you can't even turn in an essay on time!" Guilt swirls within her the moment the words leave her mouth, and her heart breaks when Percy's face falls into an expression of hurt.
Percy glimpses down at the screen before slowly closing the laptop and setting it aside, and she sees his neck tighten as he swallows thickly. He looks back at her, and Annabeth takes a step back when she notices the pure vexation in the deep sea green of his eyes. What was once calm waters is now a raging storm.
"So, I'm not hardworking?" Percy asks, an edge to his voice.
"I never said that," Annabeth weakly defends.
"But you implied it," he says harshly.
She did, and Annabeth knows it. Another crack appears on her heart as she watches him wait for her to deny she implied it, but she can't. She can't lie to him, anyone but Percy. After a silent moment when all they do is stare at each other, Percy's face falls and he nods slowly, and Annabeth wants to cry. Her heart prods her to apologize, and Annabeth wants to so badly, but her stupid hubris keeps her from doing so.
Annabeth wants to tell him more than anything that Percy's one of the most hardworking people she'd ever met. He puts his all into every little thing he does- whether it be a quest, completing schoolwork, or just cooking them both dinner each and every night! Percy cares too much, loves too much, and Annabeth feels as though she's the exact opposite. She cares too little and loves too little because, sometimes it feels like love's a waste. It creates damage, and makes broken roads that are hard to mend.
And right now, they're heading down that broken road.
"Percy-" she starts.
"I'm- uh, I'll be right back," he mutters quietly and goes to collect his laptop and keys, ignoring her prodding gaze, and Percy slams the door behind him as he leaves the apartment.
Annabeth blankly stares at the place he once stood, knowing without a doubt that he won't be coming right back, maybe in a couple hours or so. Her heart clenches painfully before it shatters, the small, broken pieces fall to the floor, and she feels so helpless.
She briefly considers running after him but thinks better of it. Instead, Annabeth spins on her heals and strides down the hallway into their shared bedroom where she finally lets herself break. She's not usually one to cry of some petty argument, but this one hurts. It hurts so dam much and she can't help the sobs that rack her body. Annabeth slides her shoes off and chucks them across the room before dropping into the desk beside the bed where a project for school lays and she tries her hardest to focus, but her mind is going a hundred miles a minute.
The arguing isn't something that just started today, maybe they hadn't actually fought like this before just minutes earlier, but little things had been slowly building up to this devastating moment. The avoidance of each other, the stress of work, school, and anything else that even slightly annoyed them. Annabeth had been like a ticking bomb this past week, taking all the stress and anger and taking it all out on the one person she's ever genuinely and deeply loves before, and she hates it. She hates it.
She's just so angry all the time- at him, at work, at those godsdam dishes!
Percy doesn't deserve this, Annabeth understands, and he deserves someone so much better than her. Someone who won't get mad at him over dishes, or say hurtful things that she doesn't mean the slightest bit. Someone who won't hurt him. He deserves so much better. The thought makes her cry harder because she's afraid to admit they're falling apart. She won't admit they're falling apart. They're not falling apart. They may fight... but they'll never let go, right? They can fix whatever is going on between them, can't they?
Annabeth knows she'll never let go of him. The idea of doing so seems highly impossible. He's a part of her, and though he can be annoying, Annabeth doubts she can live without him. And she might make mistakes, change her ways, but she'll never- she'll never let go.
There's no doubt in her mind there's no other. No other but Percy.
She aggressively pushes herself away from the desk, the chair skidding across the floor and probably making a scorch mark. Annabeth's cursed with aggravating hiccups and a unbearable heartache as she collects her things, transporting them into the kitchen. After spreading the blueprints and other supplies across the table, she goes to make herself a cup of coffee.
With a mug of the warm dark liquid in hand, she busies herself with work to block out the pain.
----
It's nearing midnight when the door to the apartment loudly creaks open.
The sudden sound startles Annabeth who jumps. She's been glued to the chair since she's sat down in it a few hours earlier, only getting up for bathroom breaks and food. Turning around in said chair, Annabeth's breath stutters and the pencil drops out of her grip when her eyes land on Percy's frame walking through the doorway.
He's slipping his shoes off and pushing them up against the against the wall beside the door when Annabeth gets to her feet in record time speed, causing the table to screech against the floor. Her heart thuds nervously when Percy snaps his head up in her direction, green eyes dull and puffy, and she knows he'd been crying and that only makes her feel worse.
"Oh... hey," Percy mutters. "I thought you'd be asleep."
Annabeth tries to keep the hurt out of her voice, "No, I- uh had some schoolwork to finish."
Percy nods and slides his closed laptop onto the table before brushing passed her.
Before he can leave to their bedroom (and Annabeth knows she'll most likely being the one sleeping on the couch tonight), she swallows her pride. "I'm sorry," she says quietly, the last remains of her heart fading away when his shoulders tense. It's sad, she thinks, that he turns around to look at her like he'd just seen a ghost, showing that she doesn't usually apologize.
They stand there in silence, staring at each other, and Annabeth hates the tension that has formed between them. She wants to cross the few steps to wrap her arms around him and press her lips to his soft ones, but she keeps her feet firmly planted. They need to talk this out, they can't just push it aside like they've been doing for so long.
A moment later, Percy sighs and rubs his face tiredly. "I just- when will I be enough for you, 'Beth?" his voice cracks on her name.
It takes her a second to process his words, and when she does, her eyes widen. "What?"
"Lately, you've been... distant. I don't know if it's something I did or- or..." Percy pauses mid monologue and closes his eyes to recollect his thoughts. When his eyelids flutter open, his eyes aren't roaring with reckless storms. Now they're misty, almost like a beach after rainfall. "I'm never enough for you. Everything- everything I do is wrong in you eyes. And it hurts- it hurts so much knowing that I'm letting you down every second of every day."
"You've been distant too," Annabeth throws back. "We've been avoiding each other for work and school, and other shit that gets in the way, and I hate it. I miss when we could just sit down and talk and be- and be us. I miss- I miss you."
Percy's eyebrows knit together. "You... miss me? Why? I'm- I'm not what you deserve."
Annabeth can't believe what she's hearing right now. Have they really been thinking the same things this entire time? Had the distance created between them been caused by the insecurity, the sickening worry of the other not being good enough? After everything they've been through together, after countless of fights when they're still the people they come home to, after letting each other tear down their walls... they're worried about not being good enough? She's really started to realize how stupid this whole thing really is.
"Percy," Annabeth breathes, "what are you talking about? You- you are the most hardworking person I have ever met. You care too much and love too much. I have been terrible to you and I can't tell you how sorry I am. There's no words. I- I'm so sorry."
"No, I- I deserved that."
"You did not deserve that."
"I should've done those dishes," he tells her and she bites back a smile.
Annabeth rolls her eyes. "Screw the dishes."
"Yeah," Percy laughs softly. "Screw 'em."
"But, seriously, Percy. I am sorry," Annabeth says seriously, grey eyes staring into his green ones as she takes the few steps to stand in front of him, wrapping her fingers around his. "I need you to know that I might make mistakes but I will never- never let go. And we might fight sometimes and during those fights, I might lose my mind, but I can't imagine a world where you aren't by my side. I want to fix this, Percy. I want to fix whatever is going on between us."
Percy's lips twitch upwards in a smile. "You're a part of me, Annabeth. I don't think I could find someone else. I willingly fell into Tartars for you... you're not getting away from me that easily. I make mistakes too, remember. Like, I didn't do the dishes when I said I would."
"Enough with the dishes." She rolls her eyes. "They're what started the argument."
"Stupid dishes," he agrees and squeezes her hand. "But I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have walked out like that."
Annabeth nods. "I would've done the same."
"Still doesn't make it right."
"Doesn't make what I did right either."
"Are we even?"
"Mm, no, I was still slightly more in the wrong."
Percy chuckles and his eyes soften when he looks down at her. Hesitantly, he reaches up a hand to brush a curl behind her ear and allows his hand to rest against the side of her face a few extra seconds longer than necessary, but she leans into his touch anyway. "I'd never be able to let you go either," he tells her, voice barely above a whisper.
Annabeth grins. "So, are we okay?"
"I think so," he responds, sliding his hand down to rest against her hip.
She silently slides her arms around his middle, locking her fingers against the small of his back where his invulnerable spot used to be, and she laughs wetly when he crushes her against him. Sparks Annabeth hadn't felt in weeks ignite between them as Percy buries his face in her blonde curls and presses a soft kiss against her neck.
"Oh my gods, I missed you," Annabeth whimpers, tightening her arms around him.
Percy pulls back slightly. "Just kiss me already, 'Beth."
Annabeth laughs but happily leans up on her tiptoes and does so. Their lips connect in a brain numbing, knee weakening kiss, and she melts into his arms. As she re-wraps her arms around his neck, Percy kisses her with all the passion they'd been lacking, and Annabeth willingly gives it back to him.
"I love you so much," Percy says once they pull away.
"I love you," Annabeth says and this time Percy kisses her, and she feels as though she's going to combust, but not out of anger like earlier, but out of joy of having him back in her arms.
They pull away simultaneously, their foreheads pressing together.
"Tomorrow," Percy starts, still breathless, "we'll have an us day. We can go to the beach or wherever and go out to dinner for lunch. Does that sound good?"
"Might just be the best thing I've heard in a long time," Annabeth tells him honestly before they're kissing again.
You know how she said sometimes love's a waste? Yeah, well, now is not one of those times.
-----
Maybe I'm not what you deserve
Trying to be enough, but I don't wanna loose to much
Go on and tell me how it hurts
I wanna fix this, is there a way?...
...see I let you be apart of my whole truth
Even with all the shit that we go through
And yet, you're the one I come home to, I come home to
When we said we both hated each other
But with another, we suffer
There's no doubt in my there's no other, there's not other but you
-Sody