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Lawrence chewed on the end of his pen as the words on the paper in front of him began to blur together. He still couldn’t believe that his life had come to this. How had it gone from a perfect marriage with a beautiful daughter to a cheap apartment on the other side of town and dating a man that had been tortured alongside Lawrence for six hours in an abandoned bathroom?
The very last thing Lawrence wanted to do was fill out divorce paperwork, but it had to be done. Alison wanted to separate. It had already been a discussion long before the kidnapping, but that had merely been icing on the cake. A situation like that was a make or break event. Either it could bring people together making their bond stronger than ever, or in Lawrence’s case, it completely obliterated what little shred was left.
Gentle hands rested on Lawrence’s shoulders bringing him out his thoughts. Lips gently kissed Lawrence’s temple as the hands began to work into his muscles.
“You alright, Larry?” Adam asked.
“Yes, I’m alright,” Lawrence said. He sat his pen down on the desk and rubbed his face.
“You’ve been in here for almost two hours,” Adam said. “Take a break and come watch tv or something. You’re all tense.”
Lawrence sighed and leaned back against Adam who continued to rub the doctor’s shoulders. Lawrence took one of Adam’s hands and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of his hand. He continued to hold it.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, Adam, but I cannot wrap my mind around how my life has come to what it is,” Lawrence said.
“What, the whole cutting off your foot thing?” Adam asked. He leaned over and picked up the paperwork, sliding it back into the file folder that sat on the side of the desk.
“I had a family. I had the perfect life. Please don’t think I’m not grateful for you and for the life I now have. I am, honest. It’s just that all my life I was expected to be this perfect example and for a moment I was. I was everything I was supposed to be and in six hours it was all gone. The woman I thought I was going to spend my life with is furious with me and my beautiful daughter is gone. Who knows if she’ll ever want to see me again? I mean, in her eyes it probably looks like her father ran off with some random man after I promised to never leave her.”
Adam sat on the desk and ran his hands through Lawrence’s hair a couple of times before holding the older man’s head in his hands.
“Larry, it’s alright. I know you’re scared. I’ve been scared a lot in my life and there was nothing I could do about it. If I know anything, it’s that life is full of changes. Have you ever considered that maybe the reason things weren’t going so well with Alison before was because you’ve changed?” Adam suggested.
What did Adam mean by that? Lawrence didn’t think he had changed before Jigsaw had intervened. Everything had been the same as always. Perfect and normal. Lawrence was a skilled doctor and at home he loved his wife and daughter and that had never changed. Not for one second would he even consider not loving his family. Even now, Lawrence’s heart was full of love for Adam, but he could not deny his familial bonds. They were still his world.
“I don’t think I’ve changed,” Lawrence said.
“Don’t you think you may have just a bit? After all, I did catch you at that hotel, Lawrence.”
Lawrence was about to protest, but Adam continued on.
“I know you didn’t cheat on Alison, but don’t you think deep down you wanted to try something else? Maybe you really weren’t happy with your perfect life like you thought. I mean, didn’t you tell me you were working all the time? Even at home?”
“But why then am I with you? Am I just fucked up because of some kind of trauma bonding? I’ve never dated a man before.”
“Lawrence, do you think it’s possible you could be bisexual? Maybe that’s what was bothering you without you knowing it?” Adam suggested. “You tried that other woman because you assumed it must just be another woman, but maybe you wanted to see about a man like me?”
Lawrence stared at Adam as the words rattled around his brain. Was it possible? It had to be if Lawrence was dating Adam. Even with the trauma, he wouldn’t have fallen for Adam if he didn’t have some kind of attraction to him to begin with. Lawrence leaned forward pressing his face into Adam’s chest. Adam gently played with Lawrence’s hair.
“You alright?” Adam asked.
“I think perhaps I’m the only one who did not know that I wasn’t straight.”
“How do you feel about that?”
Lawrence looked up at Adam meeting his beautiful green eyes.
“I think I’m okay with that. I think I’m okay with this new life. Maybe I can be more of myself now. Although, I’d greatly appreciate your help?”
Adam laughed and ruffled Lawrence’s hair before he kissed his forehead. He peppered Lawrence’s face with kisses and finished with a loving kiss on the lips. Lawrence really did feel blessed to have Adam in his life. Every time Lawrence looked at the younger man, he felt butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t want anyone other than Adam in his arms at night.
Lawrence still loved his family and now Adam was part of that family. He and Alison had grown apart, but that didn’t mean it had to be a bad thing. Perhaps from here the two of them could grow stronger as people and be themselves again. Maybe Lawrence had needed a touch of chaos in his perfect life after all and Adam was the perfect pill to swallow.
They would get through this. It would all pass. As long as Lawrence didn’t lose his head and let this whole event change him in a negative way, he would get through it just like everything else. Life wasn’t perfect like he had assumed and this was the wake up call he had needed. Perfection was all Lawrence had shot for and he had let it destroy his family. Jigsaw had given him a second chance at life. He had given him a second chance to be who Lawrence really was.
Lawrence pulled Adam closer and kissed him.
“You know, I think you’re right. I do need a break.”