selfproclaimedmoron
Fandoms
Recent works
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Your Love Is Like a Painkiller by selfproclaimedmoron
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
13 Dec 2023
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Summary
He turns quickly to Aziraphale, who has soft curves for each one of Gabriel's harsh angles. Milk-coloured hair that curls and crimps around the edges of his face. His upturned nose is framed by piercing green eyes and his cream and beige three piece suit makes him look like a history professor.
Timid perhaps, but handsome. Broad in all the ways Crowley was narrow. Older. Cute. Exactly Crowley's type
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Crowley's a sex worker who helps Aziraphale avoid the wedding he doesn't want.
Recent bookmarks
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Perfect Stranger – Vol. 1 by battyrowan
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
28 Nov 2025
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Summary
"Are you looking for a boyfriend?”
“Uh… well, no, more like a one-night type of thing.”
“Exactly. So we don’t need to know anything about each other,” Viktor says, taking a sip of his whiskey. “Do you want to fuck me?”
“I—um—what?” Jayce stares at him with wide eyes, hesitating.
“Do you want to fuck me? I don’t think you came over here just to tell me my eyes are enchanting.”
—❤—
Viktor Cermak is a career-minded man who doesn't have the time or desire for a boyfriend. What he's looking for is a perfect stranger to take home for the night. What he finds is Jayce Talis.
Or: A FWB to lovers slow burn about two idiots who take way too long to acknowledge their feelings.
Series
- Part 1 of Perfect Lover
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 186,920
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 503
- Bookmarks:
- 145
- Hits:
- 20,153
Bookmarked by selfproclaimedmoron
08 Apr 2026
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Summary
Queer technology giant Anthony J. Crowley is just about ready to throw in the towel after relationship after relationship has failed, but there's a new barista at the company coffee shop and he's cute and sweet and Crowley's never been able to resist blond hair and blue eyes. The tabloids will have a field day, they always do, but his assistant is getting married and a temp is needed.
A temp who really isn't very good at making complicated coffees, has past experience in reception, and absolutely no idea that the latest complicated coffee order came from the owner himself. Aziraphale only knows that he's handsome, patient, and was the first person who told him he was doing well.
How could he refuse the temp position? Or, he soon discovers, more.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 197,701
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 962
- Kudos:
- 1,636
- Bookmarks:
- 361
- Hits:
- 69,790
Bookmarked by selfproclaimedmoron
23 Feb 2024
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The Beginning and the End by snae_b
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
19 Feb 2024
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Summary
A bitter alpha. A closeted omega. Alone together at the end of the world.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,058
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,377
- Kudos:
- 1,205
- Bookmarks:
- 264
- Hits:
- 24,002
Bookmarked by selfproclaimedmoron
06 Dec 2023
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Thirty-Three by RoswellSmokingWoman
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
05 Jan 2024
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Summary
Thirty-three. Too old to be a desirable omega. Thirty-three. Too old to find a mate. Aziraphale long ago decided to be on his own, tend to his bookshop, and live independently. He hadn't wanted an alpha. And he shouldn't. It's entirely wrong for him. The right one would never come, and he's almost sure the right alpha doesn't exist.
Thirty-three. The year that Aziraphale meets Crowley who tests everything Aziraphale had decided would never be a part of his life.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,063
- Chapters:
- 14/16
- Comments:
- 220
- Kudos:
- 961
- Bookmarks:
- 130
- Hits:
- 24,412
Bookmarked by selfproclaimedmoron
03 Dec 2023
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Summary
Michael and David wrap the second season of Good Omens, but they're both left longing for something more: each other.
Bookmarked by selfproclaimedmoron
27 Nov 2023