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they were there yet again, the third time that month. chanhee lead them to their reserved table again as well. chanhee had been working at that restaurant for five months already and he realized the second month that they were the most loyal customers so far.
whenever the two came in, he felt something in him change. the air particles became a little harder and heavier to inhale, his heart threatened to pump out of his ribcage, his pupils danced around his eyes, his hands held each other tighter; everything became more difficult. yet, chanhee never failed to stay professional. he never accepted to drop his smile or allow his voice to waver or his body to crumble down.
however, no matter how much he had control over his physique and physical actions, he couldn’t control his mind from thinking about how good they looked in their casual clothes or how prettily their smiles graced their faces. he couldn’t control his yearning either. he could only keep his wishes and longings silent.
he was far from being a virgin. he had his first kiss, his first time, knew what he liked and didn’t like. chanhee was quiet confident about himself and how much he validated himself. it was just their vibe. the love electric charges that filled the area around their table, the chemistry molecules that blended in each other perfectly between their conversations.
actually, chanhee longed for a relationship like theirs. his silent wishes revolving around the desire for a true partner, someone who watched him read the menu for minutes too long without being bothered; the same way the slightly taller guy would do with his boyfriend. he also longed for someone to play with his fingers and twist the rings around them while talking; the same way the shorter guy did to his boyfriend.
kim sunwoo? one of them must be him, the reservations always under that name. after a couple of visits, he finally got to know that the taller one was him, kim sunwoo. and a couple of visits later, he learned that sunwoo’s boyfriend was called changmin. he didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation that time, it was just a quiet tuesday and he was able to stand close enough to their table and listen to them.
he found many other days like that. frankly, he hoped for it to always be a slow hour when they came around. he wanted to somehow always stand by the wall and pretend to watch the cars drive by outside while he heard them talk about their things. he always thought that one of them, if not both, was definitely a son of some rich family.
he may not be very rich himself, wouldn’t call himself poor either, but he knew that their casual clothes costed way more than casual. after all, he had already graduated from his minor of fashion design, still going through the fifth year in his pharmacy major. he balanced his 8am-2pm classes and his 3pm-10pm shift, finding himself comfortable with that schedule most of the time.
besides his natural hospitality and honey tongue, chanhee knew he was mainly hired because he was pretty. to be at the front of an acclaimed restaurant in the city, always the one welcoming their customers and flattering them on their way inside needed beauty as much as it needed smart communication. he took pride in that most of the time, knowing they needed him as much as he needed the job.
chanhee announced his presence to the cashier when he entered the restaurant, messily holding his books and papers in his hands. he had a late class and did not have any option other than coming in half an hour late, and the owner understood that perfectly fine. right as he was apologizing once again for being late, the door opened and he naturally twirled around to greet the customers in, forgetting his whole college attire.
it was them again. he felt his heart discontinue his normal beats and halt to a stop. his mind scolded him for wasting time and uselessly apologizing about something already forgiven. he subtly shook his head at his thoughts and stepped away, making space for his beloved couple to get to their table. he watched their backs for a second before hurrying to the back room to change.
chanhee fixed his hair on his way out after he wore his costume, heading to sunwoo and changmin to take their orders. instead of reaching a table with two filled chairs, only one was filled, the other empty. he didn’t pay much attention to that, the other was probably in the rest room or having a phone call. chanhee didn’t even know why he was reasoning the boy’s absence. he didn’t even want to do that, damn his mind.
“can i order now?” the high pitched voice snapped him out of his trance. he smiled tightly and turned to look at the owner of the voice, meeting glittering eyes looking back at him with amusement while two dimples amused the boy’s cheeks from his smile. “yes, sir. i’m sorry for zoning out, what would you like to have?”
changmin giggled and grinned wider and chanhee couldn’t believe the skinny boy in front of him can get any prettier. a pink shirt covering his top frame while black pants hugged his legs tightly, a pair of white sneakers in his feet. “two steak plates! red wine and… a greek salad, please, pretty.” changmin ordered and handed the menu to the waiter standing beside the table.
chanhee rose his eyebrows when he took the menu after writing down the order. he tried his best to stop his blush from appearing on his face from the compliment and instead just smile his usual grin. “will be ready in no time. nothing else i assume?” changmin hummed and nodded with a smile, “maybe later we might add something else. that’s it for now. thank you for always helping.” chanhee chuckled and bowed politely for a second, “my pleasure, sir.”
chanhee turned on his heels and marched to give the order to the kitchen, moving to the entrance to welcome other customers. he spent fifteen minutes moving around between tables, smiling and chatting around with the customers until he had to serve his favorite table with their order. he absentmindedly fixed his hair before picking up the tray and heading to the couple.
he took slow steps, ready to reason the lack of speed with the need of being careful while holding a heavy tray. he smiled at the sight of the two now, chatting with each other freely and comfortably. his eyes zoomed into the sight of changmin fiddling with sunwoo’s fingers naturally while sunwoo’s head was tilted to the side, smiling while watching changmin tell him some story that triggered chanhee’s curiosity from the way he looked so engaged in his words.
“your order is here!” chanhee cheerfully declared and started to put down the plates one after the other, “one steak for you and the other for you, a greek salad as well.” he placed the colorful bowl in the middle and moved two steps backwards, resting the tray down, “your wine will be here in a minute, as well!” he smiled happily at them and rushed to give the tray back into the kitchen.
chanhee grabbed two empty wine glasses, making sure they were sparkling and clean. he also grabbed their best wine bottle, ignoring that this should probably be served to someone of the highest class that visited. he held the two glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other, strutting towards the table.
he convinced himself for a second that the smirk he saw on sunwoo’s face was not really at him. he shut out his delusions that they were watching him the whole time and convinced himself that they accidentally looked towards him when he was coming back. he smiled and set the glasses down, one on each side of the table before opening the bottle and pouring a proper amount in each glass.
he clogged the bottle when he was done and left it to rest on their table, “that was all you ordered, would you like to add something else?” chanhee clasped his hands together and looked between the two. his smile was mirrored on both of their faces, sunwoo shaking his head and thanking him for his service. chanhee nodded and turned and went back to his work, ready to convince himself again that the faint ‘so fucking pretty’ he heard sunwoo say was not directed at him.
chanhee’s day went as usual; he got tips here and there, had some customers friendly enough to spend a minute conversing, someone thinking he was hitting on them, someone being mad at him for no reason. he helped close the restaurant and lock the doors after his shift ended, thanking his co-workers for their hard work, cheering them on before leaving in his own way.
he swung his arms, humming a calm tune while he walked to his studio apartment. it took him ten minutes, as usual, before he was pressing the number seven button in the elevator. he stepped back after the number lit up with red, resting his hips against the mirror and looking down. chanhee ruffled his hair, leaving his arms to go limp by his sides, only now feeling the fatigue of his long day. all he wanted to do was take a bath and get some sleep to relax.
chanhee did take a bath, but sleep refused to cooperate with his tired state. his mind drifted off to delude him of two hands caressing his body, another figure lying on his right side stroking his hair. his eyes closed and his lips pursed out, letting off a small purr. he basked in the fake feeling of having two specific boys with him in that moment, holding him, caressing him, pampering him, spoiling him, being his. he didn’t realize the exact moment he fell asleep but the last thing chanhee heard was sunwoo’s voice calling him pretty.
a couple of weeks later, changmin walked into the restaurant alone. chanhee hid away his confusion and took changmin to a table in the back per his request. “alone today? would you like to order now?” chanhee innocently asked, rejecting his mind from forming reasons as to why changmin was alone. “yes, alone. you want to join me? be my date, today?” chanhee’s muscles jolted at the reply he got and his heart instantly picked up its pace.
chanhee gave him a tight smile, “you want me to?” changmin leaned back in his seat, rising his eyebrow at chanhee before smiling cockily, “i like sitting with pretty boys, sure.” chanhee laughed out, trying his best not to show how affected he was by the humor changmin was hitting him with. “and if pretty boys don’t want to sit with you?” chanhee may be attracted to the boy, to both boys but he knew he had a line he couldn’t cross. he also knew if he were to sit once and humor changmin, he wouldn’t be able to ever stop his mind from misleading his thoughts.
“shame. i really wanted some company today. i feel lonely because sunwoo has some work to do.” changmin pouted, muttering his last sentence purposely loud for chanhee to hear. “i will just have a regular salad, then. water, too, please.” chanhee nodded and went away, sending in the order. he turned around, resting back against the wall and looking around the restaurant.
only three tables were occupied, including changmin. it was probably the slowest day since he started working. he couldn’t hold himself back from looking at changmin. the boy seemed bored despite scrolling on his phone. he let out a whine to himself, stomping his feet quietly for a second before standing up properly and turning to get the salad bowl. chanhee held the tray and went to changmin’s table, setting down the bowl in the middle and a plate in front of the boy and pouring him a glass of water.
“here’s your order. regular salad and water.” chanhee put the empty tray on a table beside him, watching changmin nod and thank him, taking a sip from his water. changmin looked back at chanhee, smiling at him when he noticed he was still there. “changed your mind?” chanhee scoffed and rolled his eyes, sitting in the chair across the customer. “only because i feel bad that you’re lonely.”
changmin nodded and grinned widely at him, his dimples showing clearly in his cheeks. chanhee felt his heart stutter at the sight of the giddy boy in front of him, cursing himself in his head. he cursed himself for being whipped for a taken boy and sitting with him, knowing well how he will misguide himself before sleep again. he also cursed himself for enjoying his time with the other, for already wishing to sit together again, for wondering how sunwoo would have interrupted and joined in their small conversations.
“you’re really pretty, by the way.” changmin said randomly after one bite. chanhee noticed he was eating exceptionally slow, maybe he had no appetite since his lover wasn’t with him. chanhee’s eyes twinkled at the compliment, his smile growing wide on his lips as he looked at changmin. “heard that a lot, thank you though. you’re quiet pretty yourself.” chanhee wanted to slap himself for replying like that.
‘heard that a lot’ was that necessary? why did he have to be like that? he naturally flirted with everyone but suddenly when this one boy he secretly has a crush on compliments him, all he can do is be sassy and not thank him or even compliment him properly. “i mean you’re handsome. really handsome, like, im sure sunwoo always tells you that.” chanhee laughed nervously, his skin darkening to a pink shade as he fisted his hand over his lap so he doesn’t actually slap himself for saying that bullshit.
changmin paused his chewing for a second, chanhee catching a glimpse of a smirk. “yeah, he always tells me im pretty. he even says im one of the prettiest boys he’s ever seen.” chanhee was honestly surprised how unfazed and comfortable changmin was with the way chanhee was replying. the way that made them seem long-time friends, best friends maybe? “you are.” chanhee mumbled absentmindedly while he thought back to the time he heard the missing boy say a similar phrase.
changmin’s grin had satisfaction dripping at chanhee’s words. when chanhee looked up at changmin again from his brief daydream, he caught the other smiling wickedly at him. chanhee quickly sat properly, and smiled nervously at the other, rubbing his hands over his thighs for a second before getting up. “you’re done right?” chanhee didn’t wait for changmin to answer, his hands frantically putting the bowl and plate onto the tray.
changmin hummed and gripped chanhee’s arm for a second, to stop him from moving or maybe calm down his obvious rising panic. chanhee gathered himself as much as he could and turned to smile at changmin, opening his mouth to say something, anything to go back to his work. “sunwoo really likes sitting with pretty boys too, you know?” changmin’s thumb rubbed over chanhee’s pale arm shortly before standing up.
changmin reached for a couple of hundred dollar bills from his pocket and placed them on the tray, glancing all over chanhee’s face for a second. “the rest is for you, pretty.” changmin smiled broadly at him. chanhee’s eyes widened for a second as he stumbled over his words at first, “no, this is really too much.” he set the tray down, taking one of the paper money to hand it back.
changmin chuckled and shook his head, holding chanhee’s hand tightly around the money, “keep it, and the rest of the other. buy yourself something pretty, hm? consider it a gift from me.” changmin grinned with insanity at the other boy, “or from sunwoo, if you like that idea better.” changmin’s knuckles brushed over chanhee’s cheek softly before leaving the waiter dumbfounded and heading out.
you see, usually it would be the other way around. chanhee would be changmin, not vice versa. usually, he would be the one with the smarter replies and having the upper hand. he would be the one with people around his delicate fingers. but no matter how much he tried to stay calm and collected around changmin that time, he couldn’t help but feel small.
he couldn’t help but feel small under changmin’s gaze, feel cornered by changmin’s questions, feel important while hearing changmin telling him stories he was once curious about. chanhee couldn’t help but feel submission when changmin’s skin was against his. his mind stopped working logically and it just ordered him to be obedient to changmin; do whatever he says, whatever he needs.
a big part of him hated that when he was lying in his bed that night and remembering what happened. another part of him was electrified at the memory, making him feel sparkles and shots go through his body. spoil himself? consider it a gift? he didn’t know what to think anymore when he looked at the money on his nightstand. he didn’t dare to use them yet. he knew whatever he bought with these, his mind would trick him into thinking they really got him a gift.
the money laid on the nightstand for another week, pleasurably hunting him every morning and every night. chanhee was having a bad thursday. he had a new ton of assignments to make and the customers were the worst. it was not his fault the meat was over-cooked; his job was not to cook the meat but to serve it. he stood in front of the cashier by the entrance and did his small breathing exercise. he refused to get irritated by useless things.
his eyes were calmly shut, his chest rising up and down as he collected himself. chanhee sighed softly at the door opening, persuading himself that he was feeling better. he turned to greet the customers with a wide smile and a slightly high pitched voice. his smile wavered for a second, though. he didn’t know if he were happy or sad to see the regular couple come in.
changmin had his arm wrapped around sunwoo’s as sunwoo was leading the way inside. both looked classically fancy as usual and he decided to be happy to see them and walk in to an empty table for two. “you can have a seat here. this table is free and for two.” he stepped away, waiting for the boys to sit down. changmin squeezed his upper arm gently before sitting, his smile wide as he greeted chanhee. “hi, chanhee.”
chanhee smiled back and nodded, greeting him back before nervously turning to sunwoo. “hello, chanhee. changmin told me you had fun together last time.” sunwoo spoke clearly, his dark eyes looking kindly at the standing boy, faintly drifting over his face. chanhee shook his hands and held tightly on the notebook, “it was my pleasure.” he smiled at the boy and slid two menus on the table.
as he was about to open his mouth to let them know he would be ready whenever they are to order, he heard his name being called by the same grumpy lady about her meat. he sighed and closed his eyes for a second, bracing himself and smiling firmly at the couple, apologizing before going back to the other table. he smiled politely at the woman, she was probably older than his mother. chanhee listened to her yell and throw in some meaningless words at him all while staying polite.
even though he had a smile on his face as she mumbled one last curse at him before leaving and even though he still chanted his ‘it was a pleasure having you, please visit again.’, he could feel his ears burning and his cheeks heating up. he felt a lump form in his throat and tears threaten to fall over his cheeks but he had to stay still till she left and he was clear.
he quickly emptied the table with shaky hands, rushing to send the tray away and clean his hands. chanhee marched to the couple’s table, swallowing back the lump and blinking away the tears to focus on finishing up his last hours of work diligently. “have you decided on your orders?” he smiled widely at each of them, his voice going slightly higher in pitch to hide his nerves.
sunwoo didn’t smile back at him and changmin just looked blankly at him for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows, choosing to remain silent. “i will come back in a few minutes, then.” chanhee declared after his tears were surfacing again at their stares. he dashed away, his hand covering his eyes as he pushed himself into the bathroom.
“okay.” he breathed when he was inside, noticing no one else was there. “okay, chanhee, don’t cry. don’t cry.” he mumbled to himself, slapping his cheek fervently before moving to splash cold water on his face. chanhee rubbed his face with the cold water, breathing deeply and slowly. he stood there for a few minutes, his hands holding onto the sink. “okay, chanhee. she’s gone and she doesn’t matter, finish up and go home and relax.”
chanhee nodded and smiled to himself in the mirror. he dried his face and hands and fixed up his costume before walking out again. he felt the cool air hit his skin, sending a fresh wave through his body. he took the notebook and pen in his hands again and walked to the couple for the third time, “did someone else take your order or would you like me to take it now?” his voice was more stable, good, he was proud of himself.
“someone else took it.” it was sunwoo who answered. chanhee smiled at them and nodded, ready to go off to another table when he caught the sight of their fingers laced together in the middle of the table. he didn’t feel his gaze linger much on the scene until changmin spoke again, “did you get something for yourself?” chanhee pressed his lips together and quickly looked at changmin, a mixture between guilt and embarrassment rushing through him.
“not yet. i’ve been busy between classes and work.” his hand rubbed the back of his neck gently. “oh no, you poor thing.” changmin muttered with a frown before he tugged sunwoo’s hand, “what time do you finish classes tomorrow? sunwoo can go with you to get something! he doesn’t have anything tomorrow and i have some work to do, he would be lonely. right, babe?” sunwoo smiled at changmin and nodded, turning to look at chanhee, “i’ll pick you up and we can go to the mall.”
chanhee was overwhelmed. his eyes moved left and right between changmin and sunwoo both looking at him with hopeful smiles. he had no control when he nodded, his mind was foggy, he couldn’t think properly. he just agreed. “i finish at two… but i have to be here at three.” sunwoo nodded and changmin reached to squeeze his hands, “send me your university’s address. i will be there at two and i will bring you here again at three.”
sunwoo was holding his phone out by the time he finished talking. changmin took the phone from his hand and unlocked it. he opened the dial pad, handing the phone to chanhee, “put your number here, in sunwoo’s phone. but hey! i will take it too, later.” chanhee did as he was told but his mind was racing. why was changmin happy about sunwoo and chanhee going out together? why was sunwoo happy about changmin and chanhee spending time together? why were they so happy becoming close with him? why was he so attracted to them and growing feelings for a couple?
his thoughts kept him up enough at night to miss his first class. chanhee woke up just in time to be ready and attend his second class looking presentable enough. the minutes ticked by slower than ever, chanhee feeling more anxious as time dragged on. he had already sent his location to sunwoo and he had already managed to finish his class work fifteen minutes earlier than the time given.
basically, chanhee tried his best to buy himself some time to doll up before going out. he smeared the light gloss over his bottom lip, rubbing his lips together and leaning forward to wipe off the excess eyeliner from the end of his eye. he didn’t overdo it, just some faint black line crossing his eyelids and shiny lips that smelled like cherries.
his stomach did twist about the fact that he was doing all this to be pretty for sunwoo, changmin’s words ringing in his ears; ‘sunwoo likes sitting with pretty boys too, you know?’ he stood back up properly and packed his things into his bag again, taking one last glance at himself. he smiled at himself and giggled quietly, his mind complimenting his beauty.
chanhee wore a blue sweater with light jeans, a pair of pastel yellow converse that matched his beret. his right wrist had three silver bracelets; three thin chains with different small shapes dangling from them. he had two rings over his pinky and ring fingers with a small crown on each that matched his crown earrings. chanhee strolled out of his building, smiling at some students he knew from his elective classes, holding his note book tightly in his arm.
he was about to sit down at the bench beside the gate when he heard someone call his name from outside. chanhee turned and saw sunwoo waving at him, calling for him once again as he moved forward. chanhee smiled happily, excitement building in his body as he strutted towards the gate and stepped out, “hey, sunwoo.”
sunwoo’s greeting came a little late. chanhee noticed the boy in front of him freezing for a second when they were close enough to hear each other’s whispers. “thank you again, for today. we really don’t have to go, by the way.” chanhee nodded, proud of himself for not stuttering and for not letting his voice shake with anxiousness, for dominating his excitement over his nerves.
“i want to go, though. changmin is excited too, to see what you will buy.” chanhee chuckled at that, following sunwoo to his car and getting in. changmin was excited? chanhee’s head was starting to spin after he buckled himself up in the seat. if he thought sunwoo smelled heavily good earlier, the car smelled even better. it had an aromatic mixture between both, changmin and sunwoo.
sunwoo wore thick scents. scents that would arouse chanhee in a second and help him feel safe in the next. changmin wore lighter scents. from the time they sat together, he noticed how the other wore cologne that would gently excite his senses slowly till they hit their maximum. and with arousal, safety and excitement mixed altogether, chanhee didn’t want to leave the car. his mind saving the essence for another lonely night of his.
chanhee played with one of his rings as sunwoo drove them off to the mall, the driver breaking the silence. “do you have anything in mind for what you want to get?” chanhee looked at sunwoo and shrugged, jutting his lips out softly. “im not sure… do you think i should get something specific?” chanhee played with the corner of the paper in his book, glancing between sunwoo and the road ahead.
“well, i don’t know what you have and not. but we can look around and get some pretty stuff you like.” sunwoo hummed and smiled, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. chanhee’s brain seemed to always stop functioning properly whenever he heard sunwoo, or changmin, spell the word ‘pretty’. he couldn’t think about anything other than being pretty for sunwoo, for changmin, for them. he felt weirdly selfish, wishing for them to only ever say it to him.
“pretty stuff for pretty boy?” sunwoo’s head snapped towards him for a mere second before looking ahead again, a smirk playing on his lips. “pretty stuff for the pretty boy, definitely.” chanhee swore his body temperature was at least sixty. his whole body burned but he nodded with a smile, humming. “thank you… sunwoo.”
chanhee liked calling his name. sunwoo. “no need for that. im pretty happy we are going out together.” sunwoo replied after parking the car in the mall’s parking lot. chanhee unbuckled the belt and stepped out with his bag over his shoulder. he quickly made his way to sunwoo’s side when the other was pocketing his keys. “im happy we are going out together too.”
sunwoo smiled with triumph at chanhee’s whispered confession. they walked in beside each other and looked around, sunwoo’s hand grazing over chanhee’s back every now and then on their stroll, chanhee naturally moving closer to sunwoo after a few minutes. “how about you lead me around? find whatever you like and we can get it. changmin said to consider it a gift from both of you and i don’t like choosing my gifts.” chanhee looked over at sunwoo when they were half way through the first floor.
“fair enough.” sunwoo laughed lightly and nodded, finally letting his arm rest around chanhee’s waist. the logical chanhee would have shoved his arm away and refused to let the other touch him but that chanhee could only stop himself from leaning into sunwoo’s frame as they walked.
sunwoo moved them into a cosmetics store, scanning around the shelves filled with colored palettes. chanhee licked his lips, his fingers already twitching to go and touch the pretty lipsticks, feel the powdered blush. he knew it was obvious, that he was someone invested in cosmetics and accessories and fashion, pretty things, things that made him pretty.
“we don’t have enough time for you to try a lot of them on so i will get whatever ones i like and you can try them for me later, hm?” chanhee’s eyes widened at sunwoo’s words. try them for him later? sunwoo was already thinking of a later with him? chanhee hesitated but nodded either way, walking after sunwoo wherever he went.
he watched the other look through the colors, picking pastel palettes, shiny lipsticks, dark eyeliners. “sunwoo these will cost around five times more than what i have. only pick your most favorite.” sunwoo chuckled and shook his head, stepping closer to chanhee, facing him. “you pay what changmin gave you, consider it his gift. i’ll pay for my gift. let’s do it like that, yeah?”
chanhee shook his head, reaching to put back some lipsticks from sunwoo’s hand. sunwoo pouted slightly and got back everything chanhee put away, “why wont you let me spoil you?” chanhee sighed and looked back up at sunwoo, “it’s not like that. i like being spoiled. i love being spoiled, especially with pretty things like these and all,” chanhee waved his arms in small circles as he explained, “but this is too much, really. you don’t owe me anything, i feel bad for making you buy all of these, i don’t think i would be able to pay back.”
sunwoo stepped into chanhee’s space, the tips of their shoes touching and their noses short centimeters apart. “then let me spoil you with all these pretty things, okay? it isn’t too much and you don’t have to pay me back. see, you can just pay me back by replying to my texts or calls, changmin’s too.” chanhee’s breath stopped for a minute, his lips parting. he tried his best not to close his eyes and hide into sunwoo’s chest, bathe in his smell and presence.
“can we get something for him too?” his lips moved faster than his brain and his skin naturally colored itself with a fading pink at sunwoo’s laugh. “yeah, let’s buy him something. you can give it to him some time later.” chanhee chewed on his bottom lip with a small smile, nodding and joining sunwoo in looking through the colors again, “do you know his favorite? or what looks best on him?” chanhee asked quietly, already having an idea about earth colors that would be perfect for changmin’s face.
sunwoo looked at what chanhee picked; a beige theme palette and a dark lipstick. “everything looks best on him.” chanhee’s stomach squeezed and heart flipped at the response, not expecting that answer but he couldn’t but agree. “yeah… he’s so pretty, isn’t he?” he turned to face sunwoo, holding onto the products in his hands. “he is. im glad you think so, too. he also says you’re very pretty.”
chanhee smiled at the praise, licking his lips. “we can go now, i think.” sunwoo looked over chanhee for a minute, his eyes taking in the slim boy before nodding. they paid for what they bought and took their leave. sunwoo insisting to hold the bags for him to the car even if the bag was not heavy or big and the car was closer than it seemed. sunwoo, true to his promise, drove chanhee to the restaurant before it hit three, this drive holding more conversations than the first one.
“do you know when i can see changmin? to give him what we got.” sunwoo rested his head on his hands on the steering wheel, humming quietly to himself. “you can talk with him and agree on a time.” chanhee nodded and smiled at sunwoo, “thank you so much for today.” sunwoo smiled back and sat up again, reaching to squeeze chanhee’s hand gently. “don’t thank me, i enjoyed our short time together. don’t forget to also give me some more of your time to show me the make-up.”
chanhee nodded and thumbed lightly over sunwoo’s hand, “i will.” sunwoo smiled widely, his nose scrunching up for a second as his thumb rubbed over chanhee’s cheek, “have a good day ahead, pretty one.” this time chanhee gave in and leaned his face into sunwoo’s palm, nodding with pure happiness rushing in his blood, “thank you. greet changmin for me?” sunwoo nodded and dropped his hand, leaving the other to get to his work.
chanhee felt weird. he was happy but he felt weird. he was sure he liked these boys and he was becoming sure they liked him back. he shook his head, not wanting any false hope to build itself in his brain. they were together, very happily. was that how close friends treated each other? yeah, that was probably it. he just didn’t have any close friend like that before, maybe he was just reading things different than how they were. they were just treating their friend. was he even their friend?
he concluded that he was. changmin’s text came later that day, and so did sunwoo’s. they texted every day, sometimes changmin called if he was bored and knew chanhee didn’t have work or class. friends text and call each other, just like what they have been doing for the past two weeks. chanhee’s schedule was hectic; classes more intensive and work busier. he managed to finish important assignments first, spending very little sleeping time to type out his researches and explanations.
on the third saturday, chanhee was greeting his friends and welcoming them in a little later than the time they usually came by. sunwoo and changmin both squeezed his arm before sitting, directly ordering without the need of the menu. he did his typical strolling around the tables, ending his tour on the couple’s. “hi hi chanhee! did you know sunwoo tried baking a cake yesterday?” changmin giggled loudly, turning to face chanhee.
chanhee looked at sunwoo, noticing how his eyes were squeezed shut and a whine was seen before being heard across his face. “baby we decided not to tell him about that.” chanhee realized over the weeks that the two weren’t as cocky as they seemed to be. they had sarcasm dripping from their sentences every now and then and had some savage replies, but beside all that, they had fun personalities and child-like hearts. they couldn’t do any harm or anything wrong, he thought.
“you decided! i told you i was going to tell him.” changmin pouted and smacked sunwoo’s hand lightly over the table. “yeah, chanhee, he tried baking a cake! and sunwoo, very very smart sunwoo, added salt instead of sugar and it did not taste good at all. it tasted so bad.” chanhee gasped and shifted to look at sunwoo who hid face from embarrassment. he laughed quietly with changmin, moving closer to sunwoo to ruffle his hair playfully. “oh no, sunwoo. poor thing, it’s okay. you’ll put sugar next time.”
chanhee swatted his hands at changmin to make him calm down from his laughter, genuinely starting to feel bad for the mess sunwoo was going through. sunwoo suddenly wrapped his arms around chanhee’s middle and buried his face into his hip, pulling his slim body closer. “he has been making fun of me for it for the past twenty-four hours, chanhee, save me from that devil.” chanhee cooed at sunwoo and giggled when he saw changmin wiping his eyes from the tears that slipped.
“chanhee would have spitted it in your face if he tasted. he’s on my side, right? pretty boys always stick by each other’s sides.” changmin’s words were natural, tone as cheerful as ever. his words went through chanhee but his brain worked enough to stop them from messing with it. “no way you’re saying that now. he wouldn’t do it, he’s the nicer pretty boy. you’re just some rude pretty boy.” changmin stuck his tongue out at sunwoo’s defense, kicking his feet under the table, “as long as im your pretty boy and you love me, i guess.” changmin finally teased.
the waiter thought he should feel out of place in the middle of such conversation, with sunwoo leaning across the table subtly and mumbling out his ‘indeed love you a lot, pretty.’ at changmin. however, he felt like he belonged, they called him pretty as well, didn’t they? he only missed the possession and romance. he wasn’t theirs, they weren’t his and his feelings were definitely nonsense for them. he still smiled, though. he was happy to see them like that, happy that they have each other.
when he heard the order number being called, he rushed to serve the food to their table. he placed each plate in front of its respective owner, shared food in the middle. “chanhee! we were wondering if you were free after your shift? and tomorrow? sunwoo keeps saying how he wants to see you try the make-up.” changmin said before chanhee managed to get back to his work, “and changmin keeps whining about getting what we bought him and about wanting to doll you up with the make-up.” sunwoo added quickly, both looking up at him.
“uh, i don’t have anything, no. but i don’t have the stuff with me now, they’re at home.” chanhee felt his breathing get heavier at the thought of the couple sitting together and talking about him. talking about him in make-up, about dolling him up, about him being pretty for them. changmin pouted, a small frown knotting his eyebrows together. “you two can come over after my shift?” he hastily suggested, the dejected look on changmin making his heart hurt.
sunwoo smiled with accomplishment as he took his bite, changmin’s giddy buzz more innocent. “yeah, okay! sunwoo? we can go?” sunwoo nodded at changmin’s question, looking up at chanhee, “then we can leave when you finish, you come with us and navigate us to your place.” chanhee nodded and smiled at the two boys before leaving them to finish up his work.
this somehow made everything more real for chanhee. the couple stepping into his modest studio apartment, kicking off their shoes and already moving to comfortably occupy his couch. he liked that about them; that they felt like home, like they belonged here, with him, in his small apartment, all together. sunwoo looked through some of the papers chanhee left out on the table, whining at him. “how do you even understand all of these things.”
chanhee grabbed the products him and sunwoo had already bought from his drawer, going back to the couch. “they get easier the more i become familiar with them.” he smiled at sunwoo, handing the closed bag to changmin, “here, we got you this.” changmin grinned and bounced in his seat excitedly. he took the bag and opened it, looking at the colors of the palette and lipstick, grinning up at chanhee.
changmin stood up and hugged him, “thank you, angel, they’re really nice. i like them.” chanhee wrapped his arms around changmin’s middle, giggling and nodding, “im glad you did.” sunwoo sank down in his seat, getting comfortable as he looked around. he watched the two elder boys hug, smiling to himself at them being happy. “sit sit, let me doll you up or else i wont be able to sleep.” changmin urgently pushed chanhee to sit on the couch, grinning and pouring all the content beside him.
he moved closer, climbing over chanhee’s lap and pushing his hair away from his forehead, “here, it’s more comfortable like this.” chanhee didn’t know what to do with his shaking hands or racing heart or even his whole messy self. he quickly glanced at sunwoo, expecting him to be jealous, maybe glaring at chanhee for having his boyfriend propped up in his lap. instead, he saw him peeling off the wrappers, lining the products beside each other. chanhee felt relieved, no one was mad at changmin in his lap. he should be used to this, he thought, none of the two ever seemed mad when one was touchy or affectionate with chanhee.
he placed his hands over changmin’s thighs, feeling the other’s hands stroke over his flawless skin gently. changmin soon grabbed the concealer to faintly smear some over chanhee’s face, under his eyes, realizing the seated boy was indeed flawless. “your skin’s so flawless, chanhee. and soft, like porcelain.” changmin mumbled after putting the concealer away, chanhee sensing him roam through the plastics beside him.
he didn’t dare to open his eyes. he didn’t dare to look up at changmin and watch him over his lap, to believe he could get used to have him like that. he was just doing his make-up and this was the most comfortable position for him. chanhee felt the whole process; the soft brushes over his eyelids, the wet brush of the eyeliner above his eyelashes, the thick top of the lipstick over his lips. he was sure changmin spent at least half an hour working on his face, mumbling small praises every now and then.
“open your eyes, baby doll.” chanhee suppressed the whimper at the nickname, it felt even more real. changmin was done dolling him up, he was now dolled up prettily in front of them. he blinked a couple of times, adjusting to the light as he looked up. sunwoo was now behind changmin, his arms draped lazily over his shoulders as both pair of eyes were looking expectedly at him. chanhee thought he heard a curse from one of their lips and a low groan from another.
changmin’s hands slid up his chest to rest on his shoulders, his body inclining towards him ever so slightly, “shit, you’re so pretty.” he breathed out heavily, his lips parted as his eyes devoured chanhee as a whole. “you’re gorgeous, chanhee.” sunwoo spoke from behind him, his voice making the atmosphere slightly thicker. chanhee quietly gulped, his anxiousness rising slowly, “thank you, both of you.” he spoke nervously, not really caring about feeling vulnerable under their gazes. “can i see myself?”
nodding, changmin quickly rose to his feet and pulled chanhee up with him. “yeah, go ahead. see how pretty you look.” and see how pretty he looked he did. chanhee looked at himself in the mirror that was hung by the door. the colors were natural, changmin mixing the pink with some gold and beige over his eyes, a thin black line shadowing his eyelashes while his lips shone with a baby pink color. he was pretty indeed. he felt pretty, inside out.
chanhee turned to look at both boys again, his legs wobbling under him yet holding him up strongly enough to stand in front of them. no one said anything for a minute, just three pairs of eyes looking at each other. the air around them was filled with need, want, desire, arousal, non-platonic feelings maybe. sunwoo was the one to shift the air from its hush, his fingers running through chanhee’s hair, fixing it the way he likes, “i know i’ve said this many times before but you’re seriously so gorgeous, doll.” changmin nodded and wrapped his arms around chanhee’s waist, “super pretty. the prettiest boy i’ve ever seen.”
he felt overwhelmed. he wanted to wrap his arms around changmin’s neck and move closer. he wanted to tilt his head against sunwoo’s hand and have him stroke his hair however he wanted. he wanted to feel them both surround him, crowd his space, press against him, hold him, touch him, feel him. chanhee gathered his last ounce of conscious and rather than giving himself up completely to the couple, he smiled and took a small step backward, thanking them once again.
changmin was reaching out again but sunwoo stopped him. he held back his hand and wrapped his arm around his waist. chanhee thought he shouldn’t have heard the ‘don’t, you’re overwhelming him.’ warning sunwoo whispered to his lover, but he did nonetheless, and he realized how easily sunwoo was already able to read him. “we should go before it is too late, it’s past eleven already.” sunwoo talked louder this time, changmin nodding and grinning at chanhee naturally.
“yeah, we will see you later, lovely.” changmin waved at him goodbye as they headed out. chanhee followed them to the door step, watching them both fade away from his line of sight before shutting his door and walking in again. he rubbed his hand over his chest and breathed heavily, want aching his body as his mind showed him images of the couple staring down at him.
he didn’t remove his make-up before bed, took many pictures of himself dolled up by changmin. chanhee laid back in silence on his bed after washing up and wearing his thigh-long sweater to sleep. he wasn’t tired, nor sleepy. he just felt pliant and needy. he just felt deprived and desperate for a pair of hands over his hair, another pair over his thighs. he just felt the hunger to be under a couple’s benevolence, to have them treat him with all they’ve got.
chanhee woke up the next day shivering. his skin had goosebumps all over and his blanket was huddled up between his thighs, exposing them to the chill air around. he rubbed his hands over the exposed skin, whining out while stretching. chanhee checked the time before getting up; half past ten, still early. he walked to the bathroom and pouted at the mirror, sadly splashing water over his face to remove the colors, already knowing his eyes will itch and sting from sleeping with make-up on.
he went and prepared breakfast, adjusting the heater in the apartment to warm up the air more, refusing to change from his sweater or add any other item on his body. chanhee ate and cleaned up after himself, sparing his last two free hours to study some papers and be done with them. and so, he spent his sunday like that; studying then going to work then coming back to sleep early.
monday morning came faster than he liked. just an hour ago he was putting the empty tray away in his shift and suddenly he was getting ready to be in class. his classes went by fine, nothing out of the ordinary and thankfully no new assignments. he made sure to hand in his research, present his work and lift the weight from his shoulders. chanhee walked slowly out of the building, swinging his arms back and forth as he looked around, thinking about whether to go to his place then work or stay at the cafeteria for a drink.
“hi there, pretty thing.” a voice brightly whispered behind him, making him spin quickly on his heels. “changmin!” chanhee gasped quietly and smiled at the boy in front of him. changmin giggled and wrapped his arms around chanhee’s waist, “yes, changmin. me and sunwoo were passing by so we thought we might come pick you up before your shift.” chanhee wrapped one arm around changmin’s middle, nodding with a hum, following after changmin to the car.
changmin got in the front seat beside sunwoo and chanhee slid in the back. before he could greet sunwoo, changmin was already chanting, “baby~ pretty one’s here. i found him.” sunwoo chuckled and turned to look at chanhee, “hello.” chanhee shook his head at changmin’s energy, silently envying him for it, “hey, sunwoo.” he set his bag beside him and looked at them at the front, smiling as sunwoo drove off, telling him that they would just drive around till he had to be at work.
while listening to sunwoo and changmin tell him about some things that happened with them, his eyes zoomed in on a familiar set of bold letters. hallucination drugs? why did they have that in their car under the seat? none of them seemed to have any medical condition for the usage of such drugs, he knew enough for that.
“who uses it?” chanhee asked quietly as he leaned down to pick up the bottle. he saw changmin look at him with confusion, his body stiffening once his eyes caught chanhee holding up the bottle. sunwoo seemed a little more relaxed than changmin but chanhee saw his knuckles gripping tighter on the wheel and the speed of the car increasing. “none of us, it’s for work.” sunwoo answered, his voice as firm as ever.
chanhee rose his eyebrows at him, moving forward in his seat. changmin sighed, sounding defeated as he ran his fingers through his hair and sank in his seat. “work. what the fuck do you work?” he snapped at sunwoo, feeling an unbelievable laugh raise in his chest. “calm down first, wont you?” changmin looked at him before shifting to let his hand rest on sunwoo’s thigh; an act of protectiveness.
he hated how he was snapping at them but his mind had millions of thoughts merging together about the drugs. “we know how to use it, don’t worry. we never overdosed, or killed someone by it.” chanhee laughed at sunwoo’s answer shoving the bottle behind him. “what do you work?” he asked sternly, glad that both boys in the front were now being as serious as he was, no games going around. “con-artists? we find a rich man, rich woman, rich anything in need of pleasure or a favor, help and get the money. we don’t sleep with them though, that’s when we use them. we just give some to the client, make them believe we fucked, take our money and leave.”
chanhee was shocked at changmin’s calm explanation. he ran his hands through his hair and leaned back in his seat, “so you just go and steal their money?” sunwoo parked the car and turned to look at him again, his face straight. “we don’t steal, we do them favors and get our money. sometimes they want us to go to some party with them, or some casino or whatever they have going on. we do that and get our money. but when they ask for sex, we just let them believe it. all the pleasure, the luxury.”
“and if they ask you for a life?” chanhee was starting to shake, his breaths and heart rapidly accelerating. changmin was reaching back to comfort him, muttering words so he doesn’t panic and that alone gave him an answer. “you’ve killed before?” his voice shook, went out weak paired with tears covering his eyes. “never someone innocent.” changmin cursed at sunwoo for his answer but chanhee knew he wasn’t mad at him for telling chanhee everything clearly.
chanhee felt changmin climb beside him in the seat, the other’s arms circling him as he tried to calm down his sobs and breathe again in a normal pace. sunwoo watched from the front as changmin stroked chanhee’s hair, trying to calm the elder down as well with whatever assuring words that he could come up with. “killing is wrong, sunwoo. innocent or not, killing is over the board.” chanhee mumbled and shook his head, changmin shushing him. sunwoo only nodded, the couple’s sole goal to let chanhee rest his mind and calm down.
“i will call the restaurant for a day off, okay baby?” chanhee shook his head for a second before gripping changmin’s arm and nodding. changmin looked at sunwoo, the younger nodding and stepping out of the car to do his phone call. changmin pampered chanhee in the backseat, whispering sweet nothings to him till his body went limp in his arms.
chanhee couldn’t believe he was still laying in his arms. he was not supposed to feel the safety he felt, or the longing in his heart to stop. he was supposed to be scared of what they could do to him, to be pushed away by the illegal and offensive nature of the work they followed. he was supposed to run away from them, go back to only being a waiter that served them their plates and greeted them into the restaurant. his logic and sanity begged him to leave the two and go back to his silent lifestyle.
“we will go back to our apartment now, okay, baby love?” chanhee nodded lifelessly, agreeing with everything they said to him, ready to accept everything they would do to him. his mind was clouded with his pure want for them and to be part of them and their relationship. he scolded himself for being reckless but he applauded himself for his self-validation. he accepted that he wanted this now, wanted them, he would worry about later some other time.
changmin and sunwoo guided him to their shared apartment. he was more conscious by then, able to walk alone properly and take in the place. their apartment wasn’t big but it wasn’t too small for two people either, perfect for them, like them. it had a mixture between dark and light furniture, their kitchen, on the right side, big and clean with different alcohol bottles lining on the counter. chanhee assumed the doors on the left side were to their bedroom and bathroom. he dropped changmin’s hand, standing in his spot in the short corridor that lead to the living room.
“i want you. i want both of you.” chanhee clenched and unclenched his fists a couple of times after his bold confession. his eyes holding contact with the two shocked boys that were now almost seated in the living room. he walked towards them, further into their apartment, further into their space. chanhee looked straight ahead at sunwoo, his hands moving from sunwoo’s waist up to his shoulders. “i like you so bad.” he confessed quietly yet boldly again, one of his hands sneaking to the back of sunwoo’s neck to pull him in.
chanhee’s ears caught the sound of changmin’s curses as he pressed his lips against sunwoo’s. he decided there was no more holding back, all or nothing, now or never. sunwoo was quick to kiss him back, his plush lips moving naturally against his, as if it was all sunwoo ever wanted as well. chanhee pulled back, looking at sunwoo for a second before shifting his gaze to changmin.
his grin was wicked and oh did chanhee love the insane aura that surrounded him all the time. he let his hands leave sunwoo and his legs took him to changmin. he gasped when changmin pushed him down on the couch and straddled his hips. this time he allowed his eyes to print changmin’s figure on top of him, giving permission for his brain to hunt him with the picture. “you like me too?” changmin grinned down at him, running his knuckles over his cheeks as chanhee nodded, “so bad, too.”
chanhee heard a small ‘good’ being mumbled before changmin’s lips were locked with his. their kiss was needier, changmin’s hands moving all over chanhee’s chest, unlike sunwoo’s that rested in a bruising grip over his hips. they pulled back after a while to breathe, chanhee’s chest heaving as his eyes searched for sunwoo to bring him in.
sunwoo was pressing his palms on the arm rest of the couch, watching them like a predator watched his prey. “you look so pretty together, like that.” he said with a smile that would seem so innocent and kind, but chanhee now knew better. “so you like me too?” chanhee finally asked out, needing to hear the confirmation. he heard sunwoo chuckle and nod, “i like you.” and heard changmin giggle from above him, “i like you too.” he sighed and bit his lip, stopping the smile from spreading too wide.
changmin leaned down to press his kisses all over chanhee’s skin, “so cute, so pretty, you’re ours now, right?” he pulled back to look at chanhee who nodded, scratching over changmin’s hips as his hands slid under his shirt. changmin gasped and grinned up at sunwoo, “he’s ours now, sunwoo.” chanhee looked at sunwoo as well, giggling to himself at the euphoria they were in. sunwoo smiled and moved closer to them, pushing chanhee’s hair back before cupping his cheek, “yeah, as he should. we’re yours too, doll.”
chanhee whimpered softly at the whole mental and physical sensation he felt, leaning into sunwoo’s hand. “wanted to be your pretty doll for so long.” he muttered shamelessly, looking up at sunwoo then at changmin. changmin groaned to himself and squeezed chanhee’s shoulders, sunwoo’s fingers pressing tightly against the back of chanhee’s neck while his hand still cupped his face, “don’t say things like that, baby, makes me go insane.”
chanhee arched his back slightly, his eyes hooded when he looked at changmin, “then go insane for me. apparently i like wicked people.” sunwoo chuckled darkly, a small laugh leaving his lips before he leaned down and kissed chanhee, stealing his breath away. changmin whined from above, pressing kisses over sunwoo’s shoulder and neck, moving to his cheeks and then pecking over the corner of his lips. “not here, please, let’s go to our room, sunwoo, chanhee.” changmin breathlessly begged, tugging them all up to their feet and heading to their bedroom all tangled together, barely walking straight.
chanhee purely understood after that night why people said insanity brought bliss. he might have skipped his classes in the morning, his body might have ached, his legs unable to aid him for more than three steps, even his insides felt squeezed and knotted. but it was okay, he felt better than he did on many mornings after a long relaxed sleep with no pain in his body. he spent his morning being pampered and showered with kisses and attention from his two boyfriends with no care about anything else.
they always managed to find time to spend together, sunwoo and changmin often picking him up from university and sending him to work. on fridays and saturdays, they tried to spend the nights together as chanhee would be free on the next mornings. they didn’t sleep some nights, either lost in their lustful desires for long hours or just playing around and laughing together. both methods made chanhee happy, made sunwoo happy, made changmin happy.
it took chanhee more than four months to get adapted and fully accept their work. jealousy stroke up in him whenever one of them came back and complained about excessive touches or needs. he always felt the need to possess them after that, the need to make them his again and to be theirs again, to rest assured that he wouldn’t be replaced by someone else better than him. and they always assured him, sometimes taking turns and sometimes all three together buried in the sheets of their beds with sinful profanities filling up the previously silent space.
they were happy together, supporting and understanding each other. they lived in their own bubble, ignoring the world most of the time and lounging in the comfort and safety they built for each other. chanhee couldn’t ask for better, there was no better for him. they were the best people he could ever ask for, ask to love, ask to be loved by. he was their pretty doll, they always reminded him, and he always reminded them how they were his princes, the ones he cherished the most.