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You carded your fingers through Sumire's hair, taking care to unknot every single strand as gently as you could. Although she was sleeping, her face held an undeniable pallor, and she shivered even under two blankets. It felt like the frown on your face was permanently etched into your skin, carving deep worry lines into your face that wouldn't go away without a fight.
You leaned down to press a kiss against her forehead in an attempt to alleviate your stress. As if responding, even in her unconscious state, Sumire's expression relaxed, and she curled closer to your stomach. You managed a little smile and leaned back against the couch. The silence of your apartment was both comforting and tense. Sumire's parents still thought she was at the gymnastics camp, according to Akechi, so you had decided to take care of Sumire at your own home. The others looked frightened of your fierce protectiveness when you had arrived back in the real world, and although you couldn't quite smile at the thought, it was still amusing to see even Makoto scared of incurring your wrath.
It had only been a few hours since you and the other Phantom Thieves had saved Sumire from Maruki's Palace. It still made your skin crawl when you remembered arriving there with Akira and Akechi, facing off first against Sumire herself, then her berserk Persona. You had all but forced Akira to let you fight Sumire on your own, believing that the threat of hurting her lover would make Sumire snap out of her denial, but it only seemed to make her fight even harder.
"You're not serious, right? Please...I'm begging you...Please let me live as Kasumi!"
"Please...don't make me do this."
"I can't go back to being Sumire. You know what happened, that it's my own fault that my sister's...Why don't you understand?!"
Your hand jerked at the thought of the pain and suffering on Sumire's face all throughout your battle and in the moments leading up to fighting against Cendrillon. Sumire let out a little moan and shifted in your lap, and you cursed quietly. You resumed brushing your hand through her hair, and she slowly relaxed again. Akira had told you once that Sumire always seemed so calm in your presence, as if being there was more healing than casting Diarahan on her. Seeing her like this, completely at ease, made you wonder if there was some truth to it.
Kasumi, Sumire, and you had been friends for years. The three of you were practically attached at the hip; you remember her father always joking that the two girls were like your shadows. It never bothered you; on the contrary, it was comforting to know that you would always have Kasumi and Sumire in your corner, and that you would always be there for them as well. Although you were close to Kasumi, though, there was an indescribable bond between you and Sumire that eventually led into a relationship sometime during your last year in junior high. Kasumi had told you once that she was jealous of the soulmate-like bond you had with Sumire.
If there was one thing you admired about Sumire the most, it was her ambitions to succeed...although, the more you thought about it, perhaps her ambition came from a place of anger and resentment rather than pure passion. Even so, you had watched them bloom into brilliant gymnasts, watched as Kasumi excelled and as Sumire struggled to keep up--and as a result, you were more than privy to Sumire's growing depression, a mental health decline that became the catalyst for Kasumi's death just a year before Sumire enrolled at Shujin.
That period of catatonic depression had been the worst hurdle in your relationship. Sumire barely talked to anyone, barely ate, barely slept. You remembered, during one of her worst days, that she had snapped at you when you refused to leave her side. "Why are you still here? Can't you see that I'm not worth loving anymore? I can't believe you would ever go for me when Kasumi was right there! What made me more than her?!"
"The fact that you're Sumire Yoshizawa. I would never trade that for anything in the entire world. And I'm still here because I know you will recover. I will always be here. I promised, remember?"
That was the day before her first session with Doctor Maruki, a few weeks before everything changed. Without warning, she bounced back from her grief, became an unfamiliar cheerful girl that seemed like the exact opposite of the demure, sweet girl you had known once upon a time. Yet, it was like nothing had ever changed. She never mentioned Kasumi, never mentioned the accident, and threw herself back into gymnastics with fervor. It wasn't until she registered at Shujin Academy as Kasumi Yoshizawa that you understood what had happened; somehow, she had been fooled into believing that she was Kasumi, and that her younger sister, Sumire, had died in the car accident.
Sumire had confessed to you before that she wholly wished she were Kasumi, and that people wouldn't miss Sumire if she were to vanish one day. You never thought that day would ever come, but at the same time, you could never bring yourself to believe that the Sumire you knew and loved was gone forever. You had faith that it would just take one little push for her to recognize that something was amiss. Whatever had changed her perception was strong, though. It was like everything you pushed in her direction changed to fit her cognition. As far as she was concerned, Sumire Yoshizawa was no more.
Despite everything, you never gave up hope, stayed by her side every single day, reciprocated her love because you knew that she was still Sumire, just in a different form. You knew fully well that if she ever came back to her senses, the shock from it might be enough to throw her back into her depression. But you knew just how strong and capable she was.
And even if she never bounced back, you would never stop loving her.
Sumire awakening to her Persona came as a shock, and her finding out that you were a Phantom Thief was even more of a shock. Still, your relationship, however "fake" it had turned, stayed strong. She seemed enamored by Apollo, who eventually awakened to Helios, and the powerful array of Almighty and Bless magic your Persona boasted. On the rare occasion when the two of you decided to go into Mementos on your own to train, she never wasted a single opportunity to cheer you on, to thank you for protecting her, and to apologize for needing to rely on you so much.
Your fist clenched at the thought of her believing that she was a burden on you. God, she would never be a burden. You would never regret protecting her, no matter what it cost.
When you came into Maruki's Palace with Akira, Akechi, and Sumire, Maruki had seemed surprised to see you there. There were reasons, otherworldly or not, for the others to know about the false reality Maruki had created, but for all he knew, you were just another one of the Phantom Thieves. You had even participated in his counseling sessions, told him about your concerns for Sumire and your wishes to rebuild the track team from the ground up, so he knew exactly what kind of reality you desired. "Why are you here? How did you break free?"
Something like recognition had clicked in his eyes when you had pleaded with Sumire to wake up and accept the true reality. The surprise had faded into something like disbelief, and perhaps even disappointment. "I believed your love for Sumire meant that all you wanted was for her to continue living as Kasumi. I never thought that your love for her meant that you would willingly want her to suffer."
"Helios' light awakened me to the truth. My love for Sumire means that I want her to forge her own path with her own two hands. It means that, when she's ready, I would never deny her the chance to grow stronger on her own terms!"
Your heart began to race. You pressed the back of your hand against your lips, trying to control your panicked breathing. The look of betrayal on Sumire's face when you had begged her to refuse Maruki's reality still haunted your nightmares. Even now, as you watched her sleep, you wondered if that really was the right thing to do. Could Maruki have been right, that what you had done out of love for her was misguided? That it would have been better to allow her to live as Kasumi if it meant that she could avoid the agony of living as Sumire?
As those thoughts crossed your mind, you could practically feel Akechi slapping you across the face. He had already done it once, when you had expressed those thoughts aloud after losing Sumire the first time to Maruki. Although you had grown accustomed to seeing his rage, the fire in his eyes was a little scary to see."I can't believe that someone so strong as to refuse Maruki's reality the first time would ever even let those thoughts cross their mind. Maybe you're not as strong as I thought you were. If you deny her the chance now, to live the way you've seen her this entire time, then I don't think you ever really loved her in the first place!"
His words stung, but he was right. Akira had looked half-ready to throw down with Akechi when he laid his hands on you, but you had startled them both by laughing. "You're right. How could I ever be so naive as to think that would be the right path to take? We're the Phantom Thieves, after all. We'd never let something like this succeed."
"We're the Phantom Thieves," you whispered with a firm nod. Maruki had set the date of your final confrontation as the third of February. That left just under a month to train, recover, and help Sumire return to life as, well, Sumire.
A soft voice, as sweet as honey and as welcoming as your bed at the end of a long day, whispering your name snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked down to see Sumire had woken up sometime during your musings, her eyes half-lidded and the dark circles not quite gone just yet. Even so, her expression seemed to light up as you met her eyes, and her lips softened at the corners. She lifted her hand from her side and you took it, squeezing it gently as you said her name. Her eyes widened and fell in the same moment.
"So it wasn't all just a dream," she said, her voice shaky. "Then, I really am..."
You nodded. "Welcome back, Sumi."
Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes and fell down her face. They peppered your lap, but you paid them no mind as you helped Sumire sit up. She rested her head on your shoulder and you put yours on top, listening to the sound of her breathing as a way to reassure yourself that she was still okay. You willed your own tears back, not wanting her to be concerned for your well-being when she had just been through so much.
"I am so sorry," she said. You flinched and lifted your head to face her, but before you could ask, she continued: "Not just for trying to hurt you in the Palace, but also for what you must have had to go through, dating me while I played pretend as Kasumi. It must have been terrible, so awkward, so painful since you were almost as close to her as you were to me...I'm so sorry--"
You shushed her. "Stop. You don't need to apologize for any of that. Maruki simply actualized what he thought would be best for you; you didn't do anything except tell him what you told me. Now, tell me how you feel. You've been unconscious for a few hours."
"A few hours? It feels like it's been longer than that." She pressed her lips together. "Physically, I'm okay, just a little exhausted. But mentally...I'm all jumbled. I can barely remember what happened back in the Palace, and having to fully deal with what happened to K-Kasumi on top of that...It just makes me want to fall back asleep forever."
You managed a little laugh. "Yeah, I can only imagine. But you can't do that just yet. Maruki told us that we'd have our final confrontation on February 3rd. There's a lot more we need to do beforehand, alright?"
She nodded, her expression setting into determination. You were more accustomed to that than anything you had experienced over the past few months. Now, you were certain that she was slowly but surely starting to take her future into her own hands, and it made you so happy to see her doing it on her own terms. "I want to relearn how to live as Sumire. Please...Please tell me you won't ever leave my side."
"I'm insulted you thought I would," you said with a tiny smile. To your relief, she returned that smile and grabbed your hand. You squeezed her hand gently and wrested your phone from your pocket. The brightness of your screen against the fading light of the sunset was jarring, and it took you a moment to adjust. "Akira told me to message him when you woke up. The others were super concerned about you--"
She took your phone and set it down on the nightstand. This sudden assertion, on the other hand, was something you weren't accustomed to. You looked down to see her avoiding your gaze, the tips of her ears almost matching the color of her hair. "I just want to sit here with you for a little while longer," she whispered. Her voice had been shaky from exhaustion before; now, it seemed it was shaky from embarrassment. "I want to remember what it's like dating you as Sumire, what it's like just being two teenagers figuring out what life is. Can you just...hold me? Please?"
You frowned at the sight of her so vulnerable and tense. Without saying anything else, you freed your hand from hers. She looked up, eyes wide, an apology already forming on her lips, but everything fell away as you wrapped your arms tightly around her and laid down across the couch. Her chest was pressed against yours; you could feel her heartbeat racing against yours as she stuttered your name. Your lips were inches away from her forehead and your legs tangled with hers underneath the blankets. She looked up at you, her face now entirely crimson, and you had to laugh at the sight of her so flustered.
"We can leave all that Palace business for a few more hours," you promised, pressing your lips against her forehead. "Right now, just rest, okay?"
She blinked. A gentle, fond smile came across her face and she nodded. "O-Okay. I can do that. Easy." She rested her head against your shoulder, turned so her warm breath fanned across your neck with every exhale. That feeling was all you needed to fully relax, sinking into the couch and finally letting your eyelids drop. "Hey..."
You hummed.
"I love you."
A huff of laughter left your mouth.
"I love you, too."